hip hop synthesis | zine scene | small screen fargo
The Pulse CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE
MAY 1, 2014
n o o n e e n o GUITAR STUDIO
Welcomes students of all styles and levels! Featuring Nashville Guitar Instructor Nic Alexander “I teach students how to make progress through the inspiration of melody”
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ART TRAVAGANZA F I N E A RT
2 • The Pulse • May 1-7, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
2014 VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 18 brewEr media group
Publisher & President Jim Brewer II
Managing Editor Gary Poole
BEGINNINGS: Hope after Genocide... Do the Derby, Chattanooga style
Contributing Editor Janis Hashe Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny • John DeVore Rick Pimental-Habib • Janis Hashe • Daniel Jackson Matt Jones • Kelly Lockhart • Mike McJunkin Marc T. Michael • Ernie Paik • Alex Teach
LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR
Editorial Interns Christopher Armstrong Madeline Chambliss • Leith Tigges
Cartoonists & Illustrators Rick Baldwin • Max Cannon • Sketch Crowd Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow Photographer Josh Lang Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull
Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Julie Brown Lisa Dicaire • Rick Leavell • Leif Sawyer Stacey Tyler • Jerry Ware
SOUND AND FURY... By Daniel Jackson
NEW MUSIC REVIEWS: Mix-up meets hip hop, drone meets sinister FOOD: In quest of the perfect tamale... Put a fork in the pork
Offices 1305 Carter St., Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email firstname.lastname@example.org Calendar email@example.com
SCREEN: More “Fargo”? You betcha COMIX FREE WILL ASTROLOGY JONESIN' CROSSWORD
ZINE TO BE BELIEVED Chattanooga Zine Fest comes to the Fourth Floor By Rich Bailey
IT’S YOUR TURN TO TAKE THE STAGE...
MUSIC: Delicious hip hop synthesis... New Southern Manifesto is excellent Endelouz
Chattanooga gives neo-Nazis the cold clown shoulder
THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. Contents Copyright © 2014 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.
N O IC IT lse BL TA e Pu PU POR Th S k in AN Wee TR ext
DR. RICK: The good doctor investigates the power of intention ALEX TEACH: Officer Alex works the crowd at the courthouse
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Hope After Genocide The Kony 2012/Invisible Children campaign began as an obscure experiment to get the word out on the horrific deeds perpetuated by Joseph Kony’s Lord’s Resistance Army in northern Uganda. Taking over cities and touching the hearts of many, the campaign grew to be very successful in gaining awareness, and Chattanooga will be lucky to meet one of its heroes.
At barely five feet tall, Sister Rosemary has never questioned putting herself at risk in order to protect her students.”
Sister Rosemary Nyirumbe, a heroine of the 20-year genocide, impresses everyone she meets with her kindness and bravery. Described as “a major local event with an international twist”, “Sewing Hope: An Evening with Sister Rosemary Nyirumbe”, an interdenominational presentation, will take place at Christ United Methodist in East Brainerd on May 1, beginning at 7 p.m. Author Nancy Henderson has put a spotlight on Sister Rosemary, who
was a 2007 CNN Hero and the recipient of the United Nations Women Impact Award. Henderson’s new book “Sewing Hope” (Dust Jacket Press, 2013) is a biography of Sister Rosemary, nun and director of the Saint Monica Girls’ Tailoring Centre in Gulu, Uganda. Because of Sister Rosemary, more than 2,000 young girls, abductees who endured rape, torture and the murder of their families, have LEITH TIGGES learned the arts of tailoring and catering, instilling work skills and, most importantly, hope. Henderson speaks fondly of Sister Rosemary, calling her “an incredible woman—strong, fearless and down-to-earth, with a great sense of humor.” Her fearlessness is evident in the triumphant stories of her brave stand-offs with Kony’s soldiers. At barely five feet tall, she has never questioned putting herself at risk in order to protect her students. Even after the former abductees were rejected by their families, Sister Rosemary never hesitated, taking them all under her wing. Henderson’s book will continue to be promoted with Sister Rosemary Nyirumbe’s first visit to the Southeast on May 1 and 2. The nun will be speaking with various groups at Barnes & Noble, Baylor School, and Notre Dame
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High School, as well as the event at Christ United Methodist. That free evening will include a showing of “Sewing Hope,” a documentary narrated by Oscarwinner Forest Whitaker, and will also feature a question-andanswer session and book signing with Sister Rosemary, Henderson and co-author Reggie Whitten. Proceeds from these events will benefit Sister Rosemary’s girls in Uganda. Sister Rosemary’s brave efforts continue to be rewarded, as she was recently named one of Time Magazine’s 100 most influential people. Her generosity is detailed by Henderson who says, “These young women may never fully heal emotionally and psychologically, but without Sister Rosemary, they would not have found their dignity or place in society.” “Sewing Hope: An Evening with Sister Rosemary Nyirumbe”, 7 p.m. May 2. Christ United Methodist Church, 8645 E. Brainerd Rd. Free. For more information, nancyhendersonwriter.com
by Rick Baldwin
Do The Derby—Chattanooga Style The Kentucky Derby isn’t just a horse race, and it isn’t just for folks in Kentucky. Chattanooga’s Kids on the Block will be hosting their fifth annual Kentucky Derby party at Historic Engel Stadium this Saturday. The party raises funds for their mission to help educate kids on social concerns and differences and give them the skills to stay safe and healthy. The event will kick off with the GPS String Quartet, live horses, and the Highlanders Bagpipe band, as well as traditional mint juleps. Following the actual race, there will be a Celebrity Derby Stick Horse Relay Race for the Rose. Three-person teams
IN THIS ISSUE
vs. Tennessee Smokies Beer Tasting Series
Fri, May 2 • 7:15 PM vs. Tennessee Smokies FIREWORKS
Sat, May 3 • 7:15 PM vs. Tennessee Smokies BBoy McCoy
Sun, May 4 • 2:15 PM
$60. Do The Derby Historic Engel Stadium 1130 E. 3rd St. (423) 757-5259 kidsontheblock.net
Daniel Jackson This week's cover story is by Daniel Jackson, a freelance journalist who moved to the Scenic City this past January. Prior to moving “down South” he fought censorship at Bryan College, reported from Capitol Hill with The Washington Times
Thu, May 1 • 7:15 PM
will use stick horses to see which of them can win the Chattanooga Derby trophy. The event will also host a live and silent auction featuring several getaway packages, including trips to Gatlinburg and Nashville, Walt Disney World Park Hopper passes, restaurant dining cards, art, concert tickets and collectibles. It will conclude with dancing in Bourbon Alley with music from DJ Stoney.
vs. Tennessee Smokies Bike to the Park Night
Mike McJunkin and edited a local paper in central Connecticut. Since his arrival, he has been writing about a variety of subjects for The Pulse and is a welcome (and energetic) addition to our freelance corps. When he’s not reading or reporting, he works at a coffee shop in the area. He also is spending as much time as possible learning all the ins and outs of the city. Follow him on Twitter at @jcksndnl
Longtime food writer and professional chef Mike McJunkin is a native Chattanoogan who has gained considerable experience with food through his obsessive habit of eating several times each and every day. Along the way he has trained chefs, owned and oper-
ated restaurants, and singlehandedly increased Chattanooga’s meat consumption statistics for three consecutive years. He can tell you what balut tastes like, what it’s like to eat pork blood boat noodles on the streets of Thailand and how to cure bacon in a loft apartment. In addition to writing regularly for The Pulse, he is also quite active on Facebook at facebook.com/SushiAndBiscuits chattanoogapulse.com • May 1-7, 2014 • The Pulse • 5
The Power of Intention Intention is more powerful when it is about becoming instead of about doing
Perhaps what matters most is committing to the journey toward becoming who you want to be, declaring it loudly and then paying attention.”
Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, author, minister, and educator in private practice in Chattanooga. Contact him at DrRPH.com, visit his wellness center at WellNestChattanooga.com and follow his daily inspirations on Twitter: @DrRickWellNest
What’s interesting about In the work I do helping life’s intersections is that they people navigate life’s chalreflect our level of mindfullenges, I often talk about ness: the degree to which we “personal intersections,” are deliberately aware, showing those moments when you us which issues receive our come to an intellectual, spiriattention and which don’t. tual, or emotional crossroads, What would it be like to be and are faced with making more conscious and present some decisions. for all of your Interseclife, not just tions are for the attenboth big and tion-getting small and ocmoments of cur all day, all grand happithroughout ness or painful life. Major despair? Not ones, such DR. RICK only for the as those inPIMENTAL-HABIB roller coaster, volving rebut for the lationships, sweet, calm sailing as well? child-rearing, personal crises, So how does intention afcareer paths and educational fect these personal intersecpossibilities require much of tions? us. Sometimes they demand Let’s start here: Intenthe use of all our coping skills tion is most powerful when and inner resources, converit is more about becoming, less sations with loved ones, quiet about doing. time for reflection and mediTo help wrap your mind tation. Sometimes all of the around this you might ask above. yourself, what part of who I Then there are minor ones am—or who I wish to be—is that we usually resolve withdue for some mindful attenout a lot of difficulty or contion, is ready for some change, scious thought. These might some growth? My body, my look like, oh, where to go for spirituality, my psychologidinner. Or, shall I pick up cal well-being, my emotional the dry cleaning on the way states? If you think about it, to the bank? Do I have time talk about it, journal about it, for the gym? Shall I call my and your meditations/prayers/ folks today?
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ponderings focus on bringing it to the forefront, then powerful and welcomed changes will occur in your life. They have to, as your thoughts, language, and behaviors shift to prioritize what’s really important to you, and what you truly wish to change. Here’s a story to illustrate this powerful phenomenon: A friend of mine has been devoting this chapter of life to making healthier shifts— shifts in his career, in where he lives, in his readiness to attract a healthy relationship. From this period of being a deeply feeling person, with lots of focus paid to living mindfully, with clear intentions and a commitment to who he wants to be, comes the fruit of his labor: He’s been inspired to use his work skills to launch a new business, he is in the process of moving into a charming new home in his dream location, and he’s met a woman with whom he feels a strong and loving connection. Don’t misunderstand. This isn’t magic; it’s work! When your intention is clear and strong, the Universe/Mama Nature/the God of Your Understanding listens and conspires to help, bringing exactly the right people, experiences, and blessings into your path. But the million-dollar question is, “Are you catching them, or are you missing them?” Try this: Spend a morning paying close attention to all
the things you usually don’t give a second thought to. For instance, when you grab the cereal from the cupboard, pause. Ask yourself if that’s really what you want to eat, or are you just doing what you always do. When you leave for work in the morning and give your sweetie a peck on the cheek as usual, hold on a sec. Why communicate a mere morsel of affection when you can communicate deeper feelings of love? Turn that peck into a big, sloppy smooch and lingering embrace. (Could be fun. Could make you late for work.) So what’s the payoff for this effort? Relationships more deeply felt. A stronger spiritual connection to your world and everyone in it. Heightened senses. Insight. Healthy changes. In short, a Technicolor life more fully lived. Look, life’s fraught with issues, and we surely can’t work on everything at once. But does that really matter? Perhaps what matters most is committing to the journey toward becoming who you want to be, declaring it loudly and then paying attention, so you embrace the support that surrounds you, that trickles from the sky to embrace you, every step of the way. Until next time: “We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” — Marianne Williamson
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chattanoogapulse.com • May 1-7, 2014 • The Pulse • 7
roubled City, roubled Times
Under the ‘Cotton Curtain’, Jackson said, Chattanooga would not have its auto plant, its progress, and its success. Chattanooga has changed.” By Daniel Jackson Photos by Daniel Jackson & Josh Lang
Chattanooga gives neo-nazis the cold clown shoulder
he din on the east side of the street was enough to drown out the speeches on the west side. There, behind rows upon rows of fencing, the crowd was a hodgepodge of people in clown suits, clergy collars, hipster hair dos and Jewish stars. They screamed obscenities and whispered prayers. The flags of the National Socialist Movement waved on the courthouse lawn above the protesters. The group was celebrating its 40th anniversary by exercising its First Amendment rights to hold a demonstration and share its views. The counter-protesters were there to show the out-of-towners that this city was different. Chattanooga was no longer the city of Jim Crowism. According to them, this city was not going to stand the open display of racism, the celebration of white power and Adolf Hitler. The police had separated everybody. To get at the NSM, a counter-protester would have to cross a fence, the street, walk
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over a blocked-off sidewalk, climb the retaining wall around the courthouse, cross another fence and deal with scores of officers before they could even stand face to face with their opponents. That was the assumption. But into the mix, four men in leather biker jackets marched single file. The backs of their jackets read “Soul Survivor Brotherhood.” The jackets had smaller patches, a black swastika on a red background, the SS insignia. The last biker had a sheath knife strapped to his thigh. They walked straight toward the tightest and loudest knot of protesters.
Give them what they want? Several groups tried to tell people to stay away from the Nazi protest. The NAACP of Chattanooga issued a statement, written by President James Mapp, recommending non-confrontation. “If the unfortunate circumstance arises that members of the community do cross paths with this or like-minded groups,” the statement said, “we urge you to immediately contact an appropriate member of law enforcement so that it may be documented at once.” The Southern Poverty Law Center habitually recommends that people dealing with hate groups divert attention from the
group and create a separate event in a totally different part of the city that celebrates, perhaps, diversity. Mark Potok, senior fellow at the SPLC, said NSM protests usually involve 30 to 40 participants, surrounded by 200 police officers, surrounded by 1,500 anti-racist protesters. “They love these confrontations,” Potok said. The textbook incident happened in 2005. NSM members showed up in Toledo, Ohio, and protested in an inner-city neighborhood. With the counter-protesters watching, NSM stood behind riot police and “yelled things that can’t be printed in a newspaper,” said Potok. They whipped the counterprotesters into such a furor that a riot broke out. A police car was burned. Hundreds were arrested. And the “Nazis”? The police placed them on a bus and whisked them away. Not a single member was arrested—an utter victory for NSM, according to Potok. The number of hate groups in the United States is at “historic levels,” Potok said. Every year, the SPLC releases its hate map, intelligence of what hate groups are operating in the country. In Chattanooga, the Aryan Brotherhood and Nation of Islam, a black supremacist group, are on the list. The SPLC looks for activity in the last calendar year. Did the group sell books? Host a rally? Run afoul of the law? In Nation of Islam’s case, they continue to operate a mosque in the city, Potok said. Chattanooga has had its share of racial violence. On March 19, 1906, a group of 25 men lynched Ed Johnson on the second span of the Walnut Street Bridge. According to newspaper accounts of that day, Johnston was charged with raping a white girl who lived in St. Elmo. His execution was stayed, so men with handkerchiefs covering their
faces broke into jail. When the attempt to hang Johnson failed, the lynchers riddled his body with bullets. Violence broke out again when Joseph Paul Franklin came to the city to bomb a Jewish synagogue in
1977. Franklin was a white supremacist so radical, according to the FBI, that other white supremacists kicked him out of their groups. He killed because he wanted to inspire other white supremacists to do the same. Franklin went on to murder more than 15 people in racially motivated crimes. Last year, on Nov. 11, Franklin was executed for the murder of a man in Missouri. Confronting evil But the people standing on the sidewalk were ignoring the advice of the NAACP and the SPLC. Chris “loudmouth” Irwin walked around the Hamilton County Courthouse wearing a suit and a camouflage boonie hat. He held up a white sign that said “FOLLOW YOUR LEADER” with a picture of Adolf Hitler blowing his brains out. Irwin said he’s there because he’s an American citizen. A Knoxville native, he believes the best way to combat the Nazis is to stage a stronger counter-protest. The pow-
er of the Nazis must be matched with power. “They love it when people don’t show,” he said. The SPLC’s advice is a “proven failed tactic,” and Rev. Jesse Jackson and the rest need to study their history, he said.
I don’t know how they could know how much we don’t want them here if we don’t show up.”
“If you want them to come back, don’t confront them,” Irwin said. Read their blogs, their forums on Stormfront.org (a website that breeds domestic terrorism, according to the SPLC) and they hate when they are matched with a strong counter-protest that drowns them out, he believes. And so during the protest, he shouted down the Nazis through a microphone. “They excel at violence, suck at ideas,” he said. When riled, he’s seen the Nazis cry or get flustered and start proclaiming their
whitewashed message, spouting racially offensive remarks. Lisa Wiley stands on the frontline holding a small canvas with the words “No H8” painted on it. She’s here to combat hate because “Nazis hate everybody that doesn’t fit into
their happy bubble.” She feels bad for the protesters and thinks, “We should combat hate with love and acceptance.” Hate, she says, could result because they are raised in a certain way. But she too thinks the city needed to go out and confront the group. “I don’t know how they could know how much we don’t want them here if we don’t show up.” Her boyfriend, James Eden, is also curious about the NSM’s message. The protesters do a good job keeping the noise up, drowning out their speeches—also a First Amendment right. But what about a dialogue? “I didn’t like that I couldn’t hear them and make this decision for myself,” he said. In the words of the NSM The day before the rally, spokesman for the National Socialist Movement Brian Culpeper said the rally would be like their others—orderly, no racial slurs on the >> P.10
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podium. “We will be discussing border security, rebuilding America’s sovereign economy, veterans’ affairs, protecting American jobs and promoting and defending our predominately Christian cultural heritage,” he said. Culpepper said the left wing drums up sensationalism and con-
ducts scare tactics to “discourage people from hearing our message.” He described himself as “a recovering Republican,” who has been politically active since he was 18. The policies of then-President George Bush eight years ago made him leave the party. He works a 9-to-5 job, is building a house, and is local to the area. “We’re full-time workers and part-time political activists,” he said. Culpepper describes NSM as a grassroots and political organization. Ultimately, NSM would like a white congressional caucus in the U.S. Congress, similar to that of the Latino and black caucuses. As for SPLC labeling NSM a hate group, “They’re race hustlers, plain and simple. Ditto for Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson,” he said. Civil rights are for everyone, he said, and their interest is only for black America. NSM worries about racial vio-
lence, flash-mob attacks, and gang rapes. “These attacks should be termed sectarian violence or even incidents of tribal warfare,” Culpepper said, labeled in the same way as the genocide in Rwanda and the conflicts between Sunni and Shiite Muslims. The races, NSM alleges, cannot coexist. They
What’s so irrational about those full of fear is that the new privileges that they now have came from the civil rights movement.”
predict the nation will topple into a second civil war. “We’re, unfortunately, the bearers of bad tidings,” he said. According to Culpepper, NSM believes the way to stop this scenario is, “Geographic separation— that is the only answer,” with
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blacks going to Africa, Asians back to Asia and mixed races back to the Middle East. Still keeping eyes on the prize For prominent civil-rights leader Rev. Jesse Jackson, this kind of hatespeak is only the expression of fear. Race relations in the South
have been steadily improving since the ’60s when Jim Crow laws ruled. “There is still resistance,” he said, “but the fact is that we can use any hotel, motel, public park or library. It’s better. We can go to a ball game together.” Jackson was in Chattanooga for a rally the day before the protest, as a way to take attention off the NSM. “There is an undercurrent of fear trying to go backwards,” Jackson said. “But what’s so irrational about those full of fear is that the new privileges that they now have came from the civil rights movement.” Under “the Cotton Curtain”, Jackson said, Chattanooga would not have its auto plant, its progress, and its success. Chattanooga has changed. When Martin Luther King, Jr. was gunned down in Memphis, riots broke out, and hundreds were arrested in the city. At that time, people were in “self-
destruction, of anger and fear, hurt,” Jackson said. He visited the city to talk to community leaders, to try to bring calm. This time Jackson did not come because he worried rioting and violence would happen. He came to stand with a unified group of pastors, “to solidify a plan of action for continuous fight for jobs and justice, for healthcare and education.” Not with a bang, but a whimper At the protest, the bikers walked through the crowd the first time without incident, only pausing to shake the hand of one of the observers. A few minutes later, they returned. They saw another man they knew, standing close and behind some of the most energetic protesters. One of the bikers greeted him with a hug. They stood together in a small knot, their backs to the rest of the crowd. One protester noticed their presence, then another and another. NSM was distant and now forgotten. The enemy was here, in their midst. A ring formed while police slid between the two groups. One protester in pink hair shouted at the bikers, his two middle fingers inches from their backs. The bikers shouted nothing back. The police escorted the bikers down the street. By 4 p.m., the NSM members were done with their protest. One last “Sig Heil” and their flags dipped. For 90 minutes, the counter-protesters had drowned out them out. There was no direct confrontation between the two groups, no punches thrown, no bloodshed. Racism may have hissed. Brotherhood roared back.
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chattanoogapulse.com • May 1-7, 2014 • The Pulse • 11
In Quest of the Perfect Tamale Join us for Cinco de Mayo and try some of our newest recipes, including Tradicional Quesadilla, Cali Burrito, Chilaquiles, and Chipotle Chicken Tacos.
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207 E. Main St 4 2 3 - 2 01 - 4 8 0 6 M o n - S a t : 11 - 8 Across from the Fire Station 12 • The Pulse • May 1-7, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
“¿Te gustaría comprar unos tamales? ¿Tamales?” I was barely out the door of my favorite Southside carniceria when I heard a woman’s voice behind me quietly pose that magical question. “Would you like to buy some tamales?” I turned and a small, grandmotherly looking Latin woman, still wearing her flowered kitchen apron, was standing next to the open back gate of a red Chevy Luv pointing into the truck bed.
Don’t confuse hot tamales with classic masa tamales. That’s like confusing Taco Bell with Mexican food.”
As I walked towards her, she reached into an Igloo cooler stationed just inside the tailgate and held up two corn huskwrapped tamales. “¿Te gustaría comprar unos tamales?” Until that fateful day, my experience with tamales had been almost entirely limited to the Southern U.S. version known as the Mississippi Delta-style or “hot tamale.” If you’ve had Champy’s tamales then you get the idea. They taste like small beef tamales that have been cooked in canned chili. Don’t get me wrong, I love those things. They’re exactly the type of tamale I grew up eating and I order them every time I go to Champy’s. But this tamale lady was not selling hot tamales; she was selling classic masa tamales. “Puerco y pollo,” she said, “sólo 1 dólar.” Several awkward attempts at Spanish later, I had a sackfull of pork-filled, dollar tamales. When I say “classic masa tamales”, I do not mean the bloated, mealy lump of cornflavored dough that appears on a sampler platter in your favorite sub-par “Mexican” restaurant, covered in some unnatural colored sauce and melted “cheese product.” Those bastardized crimes against tamaledom fall on the culinary phylogenic tree somewhere between a Taco Bell enchirito and Chili’s Tex-Mex Grit Casserole. This tamale lady had real, homemade, grandmother-style tamales. They were puffy, savory pillows of corn dough surrounding slow-cooked, tender pork or chicken; freshly steamed and kept warm nestled inside that big blue Igloo cooler. I sat in my car, still in the parking lot of
Put A Fork in the Pork
the carniceria, and devoured two of these flavor-filled munchies straight out of the bag, without even looking up to notice that the tamale lady had vanished. The Chevy Luv, the cooler, her little white apron and all of those tamales had quietly driven away while I sat in my car, engrossed in a world of masa-flavored wishes and puerco-colored dreams. I never found that same tamale lady again. The cashier at the carniceria would sometimes repeat rumors in hushed tones that she would return on this day or that…but she never materialized, shattering my hopes of savoring more of those little packets of palate pleasure. This would be a sad story if it ended there, but there is a happy ending to this tamale tale, and that does not mean you can get a massage with your pork tamale. Tucked away in Latin neighborhoods all
around town are carnicerias and guatemaltecas providing foodstuffs from Mexico, Guatemala, El Salvador and South America. My neighborhood guatemalteca has a well-stocked butcher counter with two actual butchers doing actual butchering, not just unpacking meat that’s been pre-cut at a central processing warehouse. They have beautiful produce, cases full of spectacular baked breads and sweets, but most importantly, they have tamales. Right by the cash register is a blue Igloo cooler, sitting on an upside-down milk crate like the Treasure of Lima waiting to reveal its bounty. At least once a week I stop in, lift the lid on that plastic tamal treasury and get my weekly quota of the good stuff. If you would rather get your tamales from a restaurant instead of an Igloo cooler, your choices for quality tamal are actually more limited.
There are few things in life that can match the near-perfect taste of a whole, slow-roasted pig. On Friday, May 2 in the alley between E. 10th St. and E. 11th St., the intoxicating smell of roasted pork will fill the air as TerraMae Appalachian Bistro hosts an “old-fashioned” Appalachian Pig Pickin’. The alley behind the restaurant, which is actually called Custom Street, will be blocked off and turned into a wonderland of Appalachian food, expertly prepared by Chef Shelley Cooper, and bluegrass music performed by local favorites Old Time Travelers. A whole hog takes time to cook, one succulent drip at a time. This gives Chef Cooper and her team time to cook up sides such as Apple Cider & TN Honey Slaw, New Potato Salad, Sliced Vine Ripe Tomatoes & Vidalias and Deviled Eggs. Bartender extraordinaire and mixologist Justin Stamper will have Whiskey Snow Cones on hand as well as a specialty cocktail, a keg of local beer and all of the items from TerraMae’s drink menu. Tickets are $20 for dinner and one drink (although you know you’ll be hitting those Whiskey Snow Cones between beers) and kids 12 and younger can eat for $5 with free lemonade to drink. Follow the smell of freshly roasted pig after you’re done with Nightfall on Friday night and come over to TerraMae for some great food from one of Chattanooga’s best chefs, fun music and a tasty beer or cocktail. — MM
There are very few restaurants in Chattanooga that serve decent tamales. Taqueria Jalisco on Rossville Avenue (not Blvd.) puts out a killer tamale, especially the mole, which is outstanding (that’s MOH/leh as in the sauce, not mole like the animal). Taco Roc serves respectable tamale too, although I’m partial to their tortas, but that’s for another day. I will leave you with three recommendations: 1. Don’t confuse hot tamales with classic masa tamales. That’s like confusing Taco Bell with Mexican food. 2. The best tamales are often bought from the back of a pickup truck. 3. Go to a carniceria or guatemalteca right now and look for the cooler of tamales. Pro tip: get some fresh chicharrones while you’re there. Trust me, I’m a professional.
please join us for a
Mary James Jewelry Trunk Show this Friday, may 2 from 10-6
Chattanooga’s Home for locally made jewelry, pottery, art, glassware and so much more... Pictured: Mary James Jewelry - Nashville, TN
GIFTS • HOME • BRIDAL • JEWELRY
330 Frazier Ave | Mon-Fri: 10-6 Sat: 10-5 | 423.266.0585 | plumnellyshop.com
Chow Beeps The Pulse
Keep up to date with the latest restaurant specials, deals and more
Follow us on Twitter @chowbeeps chattanoogapulse.com • May 1-7, 2014 • The Pulse • 13
Delicious Hip Hop Synthesis
For the Love of La Paz
O YOU REMEMBER WHEN ROCK WAS YOUNG? I don’t. Rock was just barely old enough to legally drink when I came along—but I DO remember when hip hop was young. It was an upstart musical genre that had largely been the purview of a few Brooklyn neighborhoods, but over the course of a few summers it swept the nation and the world.
Time for "Sangria on the Southside" Latin music will samba into the Lindsay Street Hall at 7 p.m. on Friday, May 2, when La Paz Chattanooga hosts the sixth annual “Sangria on the Southside.” Mariachi Aventurero de Dalton, Dance Brasil and Latin band Sabor will all play the event, which pretty much means there’s bound to be a lot of dancing. And those attending will be dancing for a good cause, as nonprofit La Paz celebrates its 10th anniversary. “We’re very excited to be celebrating our 10th anniversary this year,” said Stacy Johnson, executive director at La
Paz Chattanooga. “This is a milestone that is significant not just in the nonprofit world, but anywhere,” noted Johnson. “And in honor of this, we want to make this year’s Sangria on the Southside bigger and better than ever before.” Never fear—your $50 ticket also covers food by Taqueria Jalisco, Red Guitar Sangria and multiple kinds of Mexican beer. For tickets and information, visit SangriaOnTheSouthside.org — Staff
Weird Thursday EDM
24th Annual Boxcar Pinion Memorial Bluegrass Festival
Black Jacket Symphony
Calibr8ncronic, Demi Dio G, Gill Yum and Cronic Music all gather at R&B for a night of cutting-edge electronic dance music. The monthly showcase is coordinated by Inner State Music Group. Be aware, though, it will cost you $3 extra at the door if you "dress boring", so grab your neon best and head out for a night of dancing. 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com
Held in memory of Thomas "Boxcar" Pinion, the annual bluegrass extravaganza brings together some of the best pickers in the region for three days (Thursday through Saturday) of nonstop music, plus lots of impromptu jam sessions. Starts at noon Raccoon Mountain RV Park and Campground 319 W. Hills Rd. Raccon Mountain, TN boxcarforeverbluegrass.com
14 • The Pulse • May 1-7, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
Have you ever wanted to see Prince's "Purple Rain" performed live in its entirety? Here's your chance as the insanely talented members of Black jackey Symphony recreate the classic '80s album in as true to the original style as possible. And that's just the set of their performance... wait till you see what they do for an encore. 8 p.m. Tivoli Theater 709 Broad St. chattanoogaonstage.com
Music MARC T. MICHAEL
Whether you are a fan of hip hop or not, Kids from Across the Street is a pleasant surprise, an amalgamation of seemingly disparate elements into something new and wonderful.”
Nearly 40 years later, the cheesy beats of the Roland TR-808 have been replaced with sophistication, nuance, diversity and maturity. There is hardly a better example of that than the next-generation sound of Kids from Across the Street. Some clarification is in order before we can proceed. Hip hop, like jazz, is a pretty big tent encompassing an ever-growing number of sub-genres. One must be very specific in order to have a meaningful conversation about an artist, a task made all the more daunting by artists whose work seems intentionally designed to defy description. I like that. It means you have to dig deep and really think about the music—so score one for Kids from Across the Street for putting together an EP that is first and foremost thought-provoking. Psychedelic hip hop. I don’t know if that’s a thing or not, I don’t know if that was the goal of our young artists or if they would flinch at the designation, but it’s what I hear when I listen to their tracks. Christian Beairsto and Aaron Avery take turns on the mic and both have a smooth and easy flow. They are excellent rappers—but there’s much more to the group than that. Erin Leonard and Amanda Hebbe lend their exceptional vocal skills to the project, and while I don’t know which is singing when, it hardly matters. Both vocalists sing in a way best described as “delicious.” Don’t know how singing could be delicious? Poor you. Blake Porter is the resident guitarist in this
New Southern Manifesto is Excellent Endelouz
hip hop ensemble because this hip hop ensemble has a guitarist and that’s where the music takes a 90-degree turn from typical. If you took away all the vocal tracks and just retained Porter’s tasty guitar riffs set against the backdrop of lush, textured synths and keys, you’d have quintessential acid rock—albeit in three-minute bursts instead of the mind-numbing 20-minute solos typical of that genre. Acid rock light, perhaps? However you might label the individual elements, the fact remains that the
No doubt the Kids give an occasional nod to old-school roots, but this is new school, fresh and original, unexpected even, and it’s worth your time.” group’s “pinch of this, dash of that” approach has resulted in a saucy new dish that expands the boundaries of an already increasingly divergent style. Whether you are a fan of hip hop or not, Kids from Across the Street is a pleasant surprise, an amalgamation of seemingly disparate elements into something new and wonderful.
The EP is set to drop in May and features five tracks that display the range of the group to great effect. “Death of Sun” is a nod to science fiction, while “Lucy’s Dream” would make Danny Elfman proud. “Runaway” is a serious tune with a whimsical side (“My swag is like Urkel”? That’s funny no matter who you are…)
“Out of Bed” is a sturdy tune but “Seductive” is my personal favorite among the five tracks, being the best single example of the fusion of elements that is Kids from Across the Street. No doubt the Kids give an occasional nod to oldschool roots, but this is new school, fresh and original, unexpected even, and it’s worth your time. Follow them on Facebook, check them out locally, look them up on 423 Bragging Rights; the bottom line is the Kids from Across the Street is what’s good.
The Velvet Underground meets the Beatles. That’s one way to describe the newest entry from Endelouz. A brilliant little EP is another way to describe it. It’s been almost a year since I last wrote about Endelouz and that time around I compared them to the Rolling Stones during their ’70s heyday. Reed, Lennon, Jagger…is Endelouz a classic rock band? Not in the least—but they are a celebration of what was best about the classic sound from the late-’60s to the mid-’70s, and I don’t mean the tired old pop tunes played endlessly on the radio, I mean the good stuff your dad keeps in milk crates in the basement. Once again Jack (who enjoys the stage name Jack Kittyfarts for some reason), Joey and Dennis have demonstrated the highest caliber of musicianship and production values in four lovingly crafted tunes that range from the airy, head-bobbing groove of “How Long Has it Been” to the Hendrix-driven “A.R.A.T. 5”. “She Says Wait” plays like a very worthy homage to Lou Reed and smack me with a fish and call me Angne if the charming duet of “Train Song” doesn’t evoke John Prine and Iris DeMent. As with all of Endelouz’s work, these tunes are not derivative in the least; my comparisons aren’t meant to imply that. The fellows simply have a broad palate of influences they bring to bear with skill, style and taste on their wholly original and unique compositions. New Southern Manifesto is available now and if you appreciate the classics but yearn for something new, you owe yourself a copy. — MTM
local and regional shows
Jetsam In The Noose with Birds With Fleas! [$5] Opposite Box, The Mumbles, The River Rats [$5]
Thu, May 1 Thu, May 8
Live Trivia every Sunday afternoon from 4-6pm Free Live Music every Sunday evening starting at 7pm
Full food menu serving lunch and dinner. 11am-2am, 7 days a week. 35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 thehonestpint.com * facebook.com/TheHonestPint
chattanoogapulse.com • May 1-7, 2014 • The Pulse • 15
1 JORDAN HALLQUIST FRI 9:30p 2 SAT FLY BY RADIO 10p 3 UPTOWN BIG BAND TUE 8p 6 WED DRAKE WHITE 9p 7 DANK SINATRA THU 9:30p 8 STRUNG A HORSE FRI 10p 9 WEIRD THURSDAY OUR MONTHLY EDM COLLECTIVE
A TRIBUTE TO NIRVANA & OASIS
FEMALE FRONTED ROCK AND ROLL 17 PIECE DANCE BAND!
with BIG FIRE
PARTY TIME AT RHYTHM & BREWS! with ROLLING NOWHERE
5.10 MACHINES ARE PEOPLE TOO 5.14 CHATTANOOGA UNPLUGGED: 3 GREAT BANDS
BACK IN BLACK A TRIBUTE TO AC/DC
SMOOTH DIALECTS COME AND FIND YOUR GROOVE
ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE
221 MARKET STREET
HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM
thursday5.1 24th Annual Boxcar Pinion Memorial Bluegrass Festival Starts at noon Raccoon Mountain RV Park and Campground 319 W. Hills Rd. boxcarforeverbluegrass.com Courtney Smith Daly Band 3 p.m. Lookout Farmers Market 1214 Lula Lake Rd. Lookout Mountain, Ga. lookoutfarmersmarket.org Galit Mor 6:30 p.m. The Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Red Bank Bluegrass Jam 6:30 p.m. Grace Church of the Nazarene 6310 Dayton Blvd. chattanoogagrace.com Songwriter Shootout 7 p.m. The Camp House 1427 Williams St. thecamphouse.com Scenic City Roots 7 p.m. Track 29 1400 Market St. track29.co The RoadRunners 8 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore 5840 Lake Resort Ter. bartslakeshore.com Jetsam in the Noose, Birds With Fleas 9 p.m. The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com Weird Thursday EDM: Calibr8ncronic, Demi Dio G, Gill Yum, Cronic Music 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St.
16 • The Pulse • May 1-7, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
Here Come The Mummies rhythm-brews.com Caverna 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com
friday5.2 24th Annual Boxcar Pinion Memorial Bluegrass Festival Starts at noon Raccoon Mountain RV Park and Campground 319 W. Hills Rd. boxcarforeverbluegrass.com The Old Time Travelers 6 p.m. TerraMae Appalachian Bistro 122 E. 10th St. terramaechattanooga.com Traditional Jazz Festival 6:30 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. choochoo.com Jim Ricketts & Crystle Elam 6:30 p.m. Lane Funeral Home 601 Ashland Terr.
Pulse pick: husky burnette If the blues are a religion, then Brian "Husky" Burnette has made it his life's calling to preach the gospel of the Delta. His music is gritty, soulful, Southern, low-down and dirty. Husky Burnette Saturday, May 3 9:30 p.m. The Brew and Cue 5017 Rossville Blvd. (423) 867-9402
lanefh.com Here Come the Mummies, Power Players 6:45 p.m. Engel Stadium 1130 E. 3rd St. engelstadium.com Mariachi Aventurero de Dalton, Dance Brasil, Sabor 7 p.m. Lindsay Street Hall 901 Lindsay St. lindsaystreethall.com Forro in the Dark, Pack of Wolves 7 p.m. Miller Plaza 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga.com River City Sessions 7 p.m. The Camp House 1427 Williams St. thecamphouse.com Seether 8 p.m. Track 29 1400 Market St. track29.co Mountain Opry 8 p.m.
Walden’s Ridge Civic Center 2501 Fairmount Pk. (423) 866-3252 Wide Open Floor 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Rosedale Remedy 8 p.m. Sky Zoo 5709 Lee Hwy. chattazooga.com Scenic City Soul Revue 8:30 p.m. The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Jack Kirton 9 p.m. The Office 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). (423) 634-9191 A Tribute to Nirvana & Oasis with Jordan Hallquist & The Outfit 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com The Features, Dead Testaments 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Ramble in the Attic 10 p.m. T-Bones 1419 Chestnut St. tboneschattanooga.com
saturday5.3 24th Annual Boxcar Pinion Memorial Bluegrass Festival Starts at 11 a.m. Raccoon Mountain RV Park and Campground 319 W. Hills Rd. boxcarforeverbluegrass.com The Old Time Travelers, Old Time Music 11 a.m. Rock City Gardens
Seether 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain, Ga. seerockcity.com Mike McDade 12:30 p.m. The Chattanooga River Market Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com New Hollow, Heffron Drive, NoNoNo, DJ Cassidy, Bean, My Crazy Girlfriend 2 p.m. First Tennessee Pavilion 1826 Reggie White Blvd. No Big Deal 3:30 p.m. Next to Bluewater Grille 224 Broad St. (423) 266-4200 Willie Kitchens Band 4:30 p.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd. bessiesmithcc.org To Speak of Wolves, Unifer 6 p.m. Cloud Springs Deli 4097 Cloud Springs Rd. cloudspringsdeli.com Traditional Jazz Festival 6:30 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. choochoo.com Smooth Dialects 7 p.m. Poblano’s Mexican Cuisine 551 River St. poblanoschattanooga.com Black Jacket Symphony: Prince’s “Purple Rain” 8 p.m. Tivoli Theater 709 Broad St. chattanoogaonstage.com Richard Smith 8 p.m. Charles and Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org Downstream 8 p.m. Sky Zoo
5709 Lee Hwy. chattazooga.com Husky Burnette 9:30 p.m. The Brew and Cue 5017 Rossville Blvd. (423) 867-9402 Fly By Radio 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Kara-Ory-Oke 10 p.m. The Office 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). (423) 634-9191 423PK DJ Battle Pt. 2 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com
sunday5.4 The Old Time Travelers, Old Time Music 11 a.m. Rock City Gardens 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain, Ga. seerockcity.com Carlos Colon 11 a.m. The Chattanooga Market First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Buddy Shirk: Ball Park Organ Music Noon The Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View. huntermuseum.org Friends of Folk Music Jam 2 p.m. Folk School of Chattanooga 1200 Mountain Creek Rd. chattanoogafolk.com Irish Music Jam Session 5 p.m. Enzo’s Market 1501 Long St.
enzosmarket.com Acoustic Gospel Jam 6 p.m. Brainerd United Methodist Church 4315 Brainerd Rd. brainerdumc.org Traditional Jazz Festival 6:30 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. choochoo.com Irish Jam Session 7 p.m. The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com Chattanooga Clarinet Choir & Jericho Brass Concert 7 p.m. St. Thaddaeus’ Episcopal Church 4300 Lockesley Lane chattanoogaclarinetchoir.com Sunday Jam 7 p.m. Ziggy’s Underground 607 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 265-8711 April Verch Band 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Blind Draw 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com Daikaiju, 476 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com
monday5.5 River City Jazz & Debi D 6 p.m. Poblano’s Mexican Cuisine 551 River St. (423) 490-7911 Music Monday 7 p.m.
Pasha Coffee and Tea 3914 St Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482 CSOYO Spring Concert 7 p.m. Tivoli Theater 709 Broad St. chattanoogaonstage.com
901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191 Thursday, May 1: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, May 2: 9pm Jack Kirton of Endelouz Saturday, May 3: 10pm Kara-Ory-Oke Tuesday, May 6: 7pm
Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●
All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks! Stop by & check out our daily specials! Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers
tuesday5.6 Wendell Matthews Acousic 7 p.m. The North Chatt Cat 346 Frazier Ave. (423) 266-9466 Uptown Big Band 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com
Join us on Facebook daily lunCh & drink speCials!
The only place in Town where you can sing karaoke anyTime.
wednesday5.7 Lon Eldridge 5 p.m. The Chattanooga Market First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Old Time Music Community Jam 6 p.m. Enzo’s Market 1501 Long St. enzosmarket.com Drake White and Big Fire 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Jetsam and the Noose, Canopy 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com
Book your Birthday, anniversary or oFFiCe parties now!
410 market • (423) 757-wing
CheCk out the Cat in the hat
Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com chattanoogapulse.com • May 1-7, 2014 • The Pulse • 17
Mix-up Meets Hip Hop, Drone Meets Sinister Two releases from the further out-there
Girl Talk & Freeway Broken Ankles (DatPiff)
irl Talk (a.k.a. Gregg Gillis) is known for masterful, breathtaking sample mix-up albums like Feed the Animals and Night Ripper with perversely eclectic assemblages, taking John Oswald’s “Plunderphonics” method from the avant-garde world into danceparty settings; here, snippets are treasured for their listener recognition and irony when overlaid slyly, dirtying up otherwise innocent songs and making the surprising matches seem oddly fitting. For his latest project, Gillis reached out to Philadelphia rapper Freeway, wanting to make a mixtape that leaned to the hip-hop side. Freeway had a successful 2003 debut solo album, Philadelphia Freeway, with collaborators including Jay-Z and Kanye West; on the new collaboration, a six-song EP entitled Broken Ankles, available as a free download from the mixtape site DatPiff, Gillis changes
18 • The Pulse • May 1-7, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
Jon Porras Light Divide (Thrill Jockey) his method, focusing on beats and yielding to let Freeway take the spotlight, with guests Waka Flocka Flame, Young Chris and Jadakiss. Although Freeway had faded from view with his subsequent albums, on Broken Ankles, he sounds more pushy and forceful and more like a badass than ever. While the posturing is perhaps obligatory, Freeway’s vigor is such that it seems like his switch is always on, even warning the listener that “You’re not ready!” and not-so-gently making the suggestion to “Blow your brains out yourself, kill yourself!” This is not an unhinged word assault—Freeway always seems intensely focused and in control, with passages like “You taught this, I lived this, I want this, I need this, I’m up this, I am this” burying themselves deeply into the listener’s consciousness. Gillis doesn’t employ his all-out splice-happy way-wayshort-attention-span-satisfying
ways but instead complements Freeway with fitting, interesting beats, allowing himself to use infrequent breaks to spotlight his sample diversity; among the sampled are Kansas, Aretha Franklin, Iannis Xenakis and Notorious B.I.G. Those expecting an insane dance-oriented cut-up page of madness may be disappointed, but in the hip-hop realm, it’s a successful collaboration.
rone architect Jon Porras, known as one half of the San Francisco outfit Barn Owl, has tackled previous solo albums each with distinct aural concepts in mind; Black Mesa evoked the American West like an underworld version of an Ennio Morricone Western soundtrack on Robitussin, and Orilla Oscura used tape manipulation and electric guitar patterns with glorious returns, being simultaneously wistful and unsettling. His latest effort,
Light Divide, contains no guitar explorations and instead focuses on synthetics to shape his atmospheric vision. “Apeiron” uses entrancing, gentle pulses atop sustained notes, with deep subwooferrange bass tones pumping warm blood throughout the piece with its steady heartbeat while electronic ocean waves crash softly and dissipate; signal beacons end the track amid the sound of tape hiss cutting in and out and reverberating taps, creating drama from otherwise innocuous sounds. “Recollection” is hazy and grey, following a similar audiofrequency profile, with the boom of an ersatz bass drum acting like metronomic water torture; halfway through the track, features seem to decay away, like a statue weathered by the elements, gingerly panning between the left and right channels. “Pleiades” slithers into the listener’s consciousness with mounting tension and a light yet insistent three-tone pattern, breaking the drone monolith with a tiny melody. While Light Divide has a few touchstones of ambient music and ostensibly has a neutral attitude, ultimately it has a slightly sinister grip and disquieting undercurrent that doesn’t make for totally easy listening. With only five tracks, Light Divide doesn’t stretch its ideas too far, as a relatively short 31-minute album, and like its predecessors, the album’s selections are like suites of a single-minded work. It is a specific sensation, perhaps like dwelling in an isolated chamber in a spacecraft hurtling through the galaxy accompanied by the sound of one’s heartbeat and the hum of technology.
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1906 Gunbarrel Rd. 423-486-1668 (Next to GiGi’s Cupcakes)
5425 Highway 153 423-805-4640 (Next to CiCi’s Pizza) cellphonerepair.com/chattanooga
Mon-Fri: 10am-7pm Sat: 11a-4pm Closed Sunday
3658 Ringgold Road East Ridge, TN • 423.867.1351 chattanoogapulse.com • May 1-7, 2014 • The Pulse • 19
Have to Be Zine to Be Believed
DD ZINES TO THE GROWING LIST OF INTERESTing things on the Fourth Floor of The Public Library. On May 10, the library hosts Zine Fest to premiere its brand-new special collection of zines.
“Cock and Bull” Debuts Holsomback and Page show their new work at Graffiti Walking through Chattanooga’s art scene is like going on a scavenger hunt: There are cool things to find across the city and looking for them is at least half the fun. No matter what your art preference is, there’s something here for everyone. For modern art, one treasure trove is Graffiti, which strives “to bring modern art to Chattanoogans and visitors who share its progressive attitude toward design.” On Friday, May 2, at 5 p.m., Graffiti will host the opening reception of “Cock and Bull: The Paintings of Michael Holsomback and Ken Page.” Georgia-born Holsomback and Page are both professors of art at Chattanooga State Community College—but artists with two completely different styles.
Self-described as “the son of a white sharecropper,” Holsomback’s paintings and collages have not only been showcased at art institutes, universities, galleries, museums, and colleges across the United States, but also in several private, corporate and government collections. Page spent a summer abroad in Cortona, Italy teaching and studying art, and was one of ten artists chosen to work with abstract expressionist Helen Frankenthaler at the Santa Fe Institute of Fine Arts. His work has been included in both public and private collections, including The Hunter Museum’s “Spectrum Exhibition”. Graffiti is located at 505 Cherokee Blvd., (next to Sluggo’s). For more information, visit hillcityart.com — Madeline Chambliss
Thomas Caleb Goggans Exhibition
Israeli a capella singer presents a musical tribute in celebration of Israel's Independence Day. Sponsored by The Jewish Federation of Greater Chattanooga. 6:30 p.m. The Flying Squirrel 55 Johnson St. (423) 602-5980 flyingsquirrelbar.com
A collection of 15 portraits that form a visual journal of his personal interaction with people from various communities in the Chattanooga area. 5:30 p.m. Townsend Atelier 201 W. Main St. (423) 266-2712 townsendatelier.com
20 • The Pulse • May 1-7, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
The Willie Kitchens Band will perform Motown classics while you enjoy a buffet dinner and cash bar. Money raised goes toward helping the Howard High School Band. 4:30 p.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.org
Arts RICH BAILEY
It seems like we were all eating fajitas and said the word ‘zines’ all at the same time, this magical moment.”
Long before DIY was a thing with an acronym and magazines about it, little self-published magazines seemed to be everywhere in the ’80s and ’90s, often punky and roughedged things that were “printed” on a copier. They go back further than that, at least to science fiction and comic book fanzines in the ’60s. You could call Aggie Toppins, an assistant professor of art and graphic design at UTC, a professional fan of zines. She worked for 10 years as a graphic designer before going to grad school and becoming a professor. Zines are a major focus of her studio practice and research, and she curated the library’s new collection. “Independent publishing is particularly compelling to me,” she says. “When there are fewer rules it’s interesting to see what people do. And I’m also just interested in how design is part of everyday life, how design is part of culture. Zines bring those two interests together.” She loves not only the professional tools of design—typography, images, page layout—but also sharing that world with people who venture into it as nonprofessionals. “It’s interesting to me, as someone who has two degrees and a career ahead of me still, to see how a trained professional can make something and then see how someone who doesn’t have that training make something that can be just as beautiful and just as exciting,” she says. The zine collection she has been
creating for the library includes a wide range of topics, from underground punk zines of the ’80s to recent self-published magazines on a variety of topics to zines by designers like her, that come from a contemporary art sensibility. “I think the word ‘zine’ puts an image in your mind of some pathetic photocopier, really cheap,” she says. “Some of the books we’re acquiring for the Chattanooga Zine Library are less like that and more like niche publications, printed on high-quality paper, but they don’t cost that much and they’re not produced by some massive publication company. They’re produced by three or four people.” Toppins makes zines herself in a series she calls Octagon that explores her artist interests. She is heavily influenced by semiotic theory and
French critical theorist Jean Baudrillard’s concept of “hyper reality,” the idea that instead of simply living life, we are living images of real life, which he called the “simulacrum.” Her zines might include images whose meaning is not immediately apparent, like a page filled with type that can be read but can’t easily be interpreted. “I tend to play with what I like to call ‘the open work,’ which is a semiotic term,” she says. “This idea that I’m going to put something on paper and I’m going to put it into the world. I have my own motivations for making that, and maybe you’ll start to see what I have to say, but the rest of that communication effort comes from the reader. I really believe in this exchange between author and reader, between artist and viewer. It’s about having a conversation about some-
thing and making you think about something. It isn’t necessary about delivering a closed message.” Her curation of the library’s new zine collection and Zine Fest somehow grew out of lunch. “I don’t totally remember how it happened,” Toppins confesses. “It seems like we were all eating fajitas and said the word ‘zines’ all at the same time, this magical moment. I don’t think it really happened that way, that’s just the way I choose to remember it.” H’mm. Maybe it’s a hyper reality? However it happened in the mundane reality, she and the librarians started talking about a zine collection late last year. She was asked to guide its creation, a budget was developed, and she spent a few months working with librarians to decide what zines to purchase. But then an interesting
thing started happening. As word about the project began to get out, people started asking to donate their old zine collections. “People have these things in their closets and want them to have a life, but that life isn’t in their closet,” says Toppins, who opened dusty boxes to find vintage zines she had read about as a researcher but never thought she would see. “I was thrilled to be acquiring significant punk zines from the ’80s and ’90s, and all of a sudden we had a special collection on our hands.” That special collection will open to the public at Zine Fest, although these unexpected donations mean it has grown so large that the collection is still being catalogued. Zine Fest, Saturday, May 10, 10 a.m.5 p.m. on the 4th floor of the Chattanooga Public Library downtown.
423.544.1980 • rivercitytattooremoval.com chattanoogapulse.com • May 1-7, 2014 • The Pulse • 21
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Siskin Style Works Fashion Show 10 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center 1100 Carter St. (423) 267-0968 “Walk in My Shoes” film premiere 5:30 p.m. The Salvation Army 800 McCallie Ave. (423) 756-1023 csarmy.org Ambi Artists Creative Cluster 6 p.m. Herritage House 1428 Jenkins Rd. (423) 855-9474 Sound and Image: Harlem Renaissance, Civil Rights and Beyond 6 p.m. The Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Yoga for Runners with the Chattanooga Track Club 6:30 p.m. Outdoor Chattanooga 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Galit Mor 6:30 p.m. The Flying Squirrel 55 Johnson St. (423) 602-5980 flyingsquirrelbar.com “Pump Boys and Dinettes” 7 p.m. Chattanooga Theater Center 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatercenter.com
friday5.2 “Cock and Bull: The Paintings of Michael Holsomback and Ken Page” Opening Reception
22 • The Pulse • May 1-7, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
5 p.m. Graffiti 505 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 400-9797 hillcityart.com “New Work—40 Years Exhibit“ Opening Reception 5 p.m. In-Town Gallery 26 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214 intowngallery.com “The Seasoned Eye” Opening Reception 5:30 p.m. AVA Gallery 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265- 4282 avarts.org Thomas Caleb Goggans Exhibition 5:30 p.m. Townsend Atelier 201 W. Main St. (423) 266-2712 townsendatelier.com un(WINE)d 5:30 p.m. Dish T’Pass 302 W. 6th St. (423) 309-5353
Pulse pick: matt mitchell Self-desribed as “a pure southern mash boogie comedian from Alabama with bare feet, mushmouthed drawling and a mile-wide social streak" (which he borrowed from a Lynyrd Skynyrd bio). Matt Mitchell Friday, May 2, 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233
“Materials Intertwined” Opening Reception 6:30 p.m. River Gallery 400 E. Second St. (423) 265- 5033 river-gallery.com Traditional Jazz Festival 6:30 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000 choochoo.com Friday Night Ballroom Dance Party 7:30 p.m. Ballroom Magic Dance Center 4200 N. Access Rd. (423) 771-3646 ballroommagicdancecenter.com Matt Mitchell 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “Pump Boys & Dinettes” Brewer Media Sponsors’ Girls Night Out 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theater Center 400 River St.
(423) 267-8538 theatercenter.com Wide Open Floor 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org
saturday5.3 3State3Mountain Challenge 7 a.m. Finley Stadium 1826 Carter St. Waking up with the Birds 7:30 a.m. Chattanooga Arboretum and Nature Center 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160 chattanoogaanc.org Art Demonstration 11 a.m. River Gallery 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com Japanese Calligraphy 11:30 a.m. Chattanooga Public Library 1001 Broad St. chattlibrary.org Free Comic Book Day 11:30 a.m. Chattanooga Public Library 1001 Broad St. chattlibrary.org “Superheroes: A Never Ending Battle” screening 2 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library 1001 Broad St. chattlibrary.org Intro to Drawing Comics with Jeff Lamm 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library 1001 Broad St. chattlibrary.org Eastgate Saturday Cinema: “Free Birds” 2:30 p.m.
Eastgate Public Library 5705 Marlin Road. Ste. 1500. (423) 855-2689 chattlibrary.org/eastgate-library Intro to Drawing Manga with Miss Aimee 3:30 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library 1001 Broad St. chattlibrary.org Motown Downtown 4:30 p.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.org Northgate Library Teens After Hours: WhoDunIt? 6 p.m. Northgate Public Library 278 Northgate Mall Dr. (423) 870-0635 chattlibrary.org/northgate-library Traditional Jazz Festival 6:30 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000 choochoo.com Matt Mitchell 7:30, 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “Pump Boys & Dinettes” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theater Center 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatercenter.com Ryan Singer 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Cafe 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com
sunday5.4 First Free Sunday Noon. The Hunter Museum of Art
10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Cuatro de Mayo 11 a.m. Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. (423) 402-9957 chattanoogamarket.com “Pump Boys & Dinettes” 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theater Center 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatercenter.com Traditional Jazz Festival 6:30 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000 choochoo.com Jericho Brass and Chattanooga Clairnet Choir Concert 7 p.m. St. Thaddeus Episcopal Church 4300 Locksley Lane (423) 892-2377
monday5.5 Rhythm Ballroom Dance 6 p.m. The Ballroom at Hixson 7001 Middle Valley Rd. (423) 394-6428 theballroomathixson.com Chattanooga Symphony & Opera Youth Orchestras Concert 7 p.m. Tivoli Theater 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5156 chattanoogaonstage.com
tuesday5.6 “Shall We Dance?” 7:30 p.m. Ballroom Magic Dance Center 4200 N. Access Rd. (423) 771-3646 ballroommagicdancecenter.com
wednesday5.7 Wednesday Market 4 p.m. First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. (423) 409-9957 chattanoogamarket.com Rapid Learning Intro to Kayak and Roll 6 p.m. Outdoor Chattanooga 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Group Ballroom Dance Classes 6:30 p.m. Ballroom Magic dance Center 4200 N. Access Rd. (423) 771-3646 ballroommagicdancecenter.com Seventh Annual Jewish Film Series: “Quality Balls: The David Steinberg Story” 7 p.m. The Jewish Cultural Center 5461 N. Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Rhythm Ballroom Dance 8 p.m. The Ballroom at Hixson 7001 Middle Valley Rd. (423) 394-6428 theballroomathixson.com
ongoing “Twenty Original American Etchings” The Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org “East Asian Inspired Art: 7 Artists” North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr., Hixson. (423) 870-8924 “From The Earth” Reflection Gallery 5600 Brainerd Rd.
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
Free Comic Book Day \at the Chattanooga Library
(423) 892-3072 reflectionsgalleryTN.com “Materials Intertwined” River Gallery 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033 rivergallery.com “Bright Ideas: African American Inventors & Inventions” Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.org “The Fine Art of Jazz“ Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.org “African American Art: Harlem Renaissance Civil Rights Era and Beyond” Hunter Museum 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968 “The Seasoned Eye: A Celebration of Artists Working 20+ Years” AVA Gallery 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282 avarts.org “New Work—40 Years Exhibit” In-Town Gallery 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214 intowngallery.com Rock City Raptors Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mtn., GA seerockcity.com Chattanooga Ghost Tours 9 p.m. nightly The Little Curiosity Shoppe 138 Market St. (423) 821-7125 chattanoogaghosttours.com
Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.
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chattanoogapulse.com • May 1-7, 2014 • The Pulse • 23
More “Fargo”? You Betcha
We Love Our Superheroes
ORE AND MORE MAJOR FILM STARS ARE LEAVING the big screen for television. In what was once considered a medium for lesser actors, cable television channels and Netflix have pushed the boundaries, moving episodic television beyond the four-camera situation comedy or prime-time soap opera into an art form that might in some cases approach literary significance.
The Chattanooga Library celebrates Free Comic Book Day Free Comic Book day is not just for kids. As part of Free Comic Book Day at the Chattanooga Public library, they will present a free screening of the indepth PBS documentary “Superheroes: A Never Ending Battle”, narrated by Liev Schreiber. Among the notable on-camera talents in the film are Stan Lee, Adam West, Lynda Carter, Pulitzer Prize winners Michael Chabon and Jules Feiffer, and interviews with the late greats Joe Simon (co-creator of Captain America) and Jerry Robinson (who helped create the Joker). This is an inspiring documentary on
American culture and comics, illuminating how superheroes have become so widespread thanks to the movies, and this shows how it all started. It is an awesome American phenomenon. While you're there be sure to take part in their “comic swap.” Bring one (or two...) and take one (or two...). A very fun event for kids of all ages. “Superheroes: A Never Ending Battle” screening 2 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library 1001 Broad St. chattlibrary.org
NEW IN THEATERS
The Amazing Spider-Man 2
Walk of Shame
In the latest web-slinging adventure in the rebooted series, Peter Parker runs the gauntlet as the mysterious company Oscorp sends up a slew of supervillains against him, impacting his life. Director: Marc Webb Stars: Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Jamie Foxx, Paul Giamatti
A reporter's dream of becoming a news anchor is compromised after a one-night stand leaves her stranded in downtown L.A. without a phone, car, ID or money—and only eight hours to make it to the most important job interview of her life. Director: Steven Brill Stars: Elizabeth Banks, James Marsden
24 • The Pulse • May 1-7, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
Screen JOHN DEVORE
It maintains the dark comedy, the stark Minnesota landscapes, and the friendly accents, while telling a new story that has nothing to do with Marge Gunderson and Jerry Lundegaard.”
Shows like “Breaking Bad” and “True Detective” contain moments comparable to anything found in Shakespeare or Dostoevsky, and television has become a destination for viewers that want to be challenged and prefer critical thinking and criticism in their entertainment. Of course, the overwhelming popularity of reality television continues to lend credence to the “boob tube” nomenclature, but sophisticated programming is becoming more prevalent. Hollywood talent has taken notice. This month, FX debuted “Fargo,” a new show inspired by the Joel and Ethan Coen film of the same name, and starring none other than Billy Bob Thornton and Martin Freeman. Freeman, of course, is no stranger to the small screen, with starring roles in the British version of “The Office” and more recently as John Watson in the excellent BBC show “Sherlock.” But Thornton has been seen sparingly on television since the 1992 John Ritter sitcom “Hearts Afire”. It likely takes something significant to pique his interest. Three episodes into the season, “Fargo” has shown why it was able to pull such talent to the project. Most television adaptations of movies are done to salvage a good idea from poor execution. 1992’s “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” wasn’t especially successful—until it was made into the staple monster-of-the-week series
Billy Bob Thorton in "Fargo"
starring Sarah Michelle Gellar in 1997. The idea behind it was solid, but the movie was lackluster. It took weekly stories to bring that world to life. “Fargo” is different. The Coen Brothers are masters of their craft and “Fargo” is arguably their best film—it is highly effective and visual, replete with a compelling and darkly comedic story and an Academy Award-winning performance by Frances McDormand. Joel and Ethan Coen are executive producers on “Fargo” the television show, but they ostensibly have little to do with the running of it (they penned two of the 10 episodes, directing none of them). The film and television show are thematic and stylistic cousins, but very different products. The series runs the risk of merely aping the Coen Brothers. This is a major trap the show must avoid in order to be successful—it takes a large amount of hubris to pull something like this off. Thus far, the show has managed to avoid being a cheap copy. It maintains the dark comedy, the stark Minnesota landscapes, and the friendly accents, while telling a new story that has nothing to do with Marge Gunderson and Jerry Lundegaard. It retains the lie that the events are based a true story, hoping to encourage viewers to suspend their disbelief and accept the absurdity of the situations. There are new elements here, with characters like Malvo (Thornton), the
Mephistopheles of the series, who engineers evil for evil’s sake. The second episode features a pair of organized crime assassins (Adam Goldberg and Russell Harvard) who speak exclusively to each other in sign language—but one of them might not be translating the signs accurately. Then we have Lester Nygaard (Freeman), a weak everyman with a new host of problems and an amusing Midwestern friendliness at odds with the brutality residing within him. The performances so far have been exceptional. “Fargo” is simply good television. However, it remains to be seen whether or not the show will focus too much on the darker aspects of humanity. “Fargo” the film certainly shows the evil of men’s hearts, but balances it with the unrelenting goodness found there as well. Allison Tolman plays Molly Solverson, the “Marge Gunderson” of the show, but as of yet she hasn’t yet become the moral center. But with seven episodes remaining, “Fargo” has plenty of time to develop her character. “Fargo” the television series is unlikely to be an improvement over the film. There is too much perfection in the original to overcome. Instead, the series should be seen as a companion, a continuation of a good idea and an exploration of human motivations. This is a new story in a world that has more ground to explore. I can certainly handle ten weeks of Coen-inspired television. chattanoogapulse.com • May 1-7, 2014 • The Pulse • 25
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26 • The Pulse • May 1-7, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
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Free Will Astrology
Homework: Think of the last person you cursed, if only with a hateful thought if not an actual spell. Now send them a freehearted blessing.”
Rob Brezsny is an American astrologer, writer, poet, and musician. His weekly horoscope column Free Will Astrology has been published for more than 28 years.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “My personal philosophy is not to undertake a project unless it is manifestly important and nearly impossible.” So said Taurusborn Edwin Land, the man who invented the Polaroid camera. I have a feeling these might be useful words for you to live by between your birthday in 2014 and your birthday in 2015. In the coming 12 months, you will have the potential of homing in on a dream that will fuel your passions for years. It may seem to be nearly impossible, but that’s exactly what will excite you about it so much—and keep you going for as long as it takes to actually accomplish. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I wish there was a way you could play around with construction equipment for a few hours. I’d love it if you could get behind the wheel of a bulldozer and flatten a small hill. It would be good for you to use an excavator to destroy a decrepit old shed or clear some land of stumps and dead trees. Metaphorically speaking, that’s the kind of work you need to do in your inner landscape: move around big, heavy stuff; demolish outworn structures; reshape the real estate to make way for new building projects. CANCER (June 21-July 22): In the “Transformers” movies, Optimus Prime is a giant extraterrestrial warrior robot. His body contains an array of weapons that he uses for righteous causes, like protecting Earth’s creatures. His character is voiced by actor Peter Cullen. Cullen has also worked extensively for another entertainment franchise, “Winnie the Pooh.” He does the vocals for Eeyore, a gloomy donkey who writes poetry and has a pink ribbon tied in a bow on his tail. Let’s make Cullen your role model for now. I’m hoping this will inspire you to get the Eeyore side of your personality to work together with the Optimus Prime part of you. What’s that you say? You don’t have an Optimus Prime part of you? Well, that’s what Eeyore might say, but I say different.
28 • The Pulse • May 1-7, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Do you finally understand that you don’t have to imitate the stress-addled workaholics and self-wounding overachievers in order to be as proficient as they are? Are you coming to see that if you want to fix, heal, and change the world around you, you have to fix, heal, and change yourself? Is it becoming clear that if you hope to gain more power to shape the institutions you’re part of, you’ve got to strengthen your power over yourself? Are you ready to see that if you’d like to reach the next level of success, you must dissolve some of your fears of success? VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “Beauty is the purgation of superfluities,” said Michelangelo. Do you agree? Could you make your life more marvelous by giving up some of your trivial pursuits? Would you become more attractive if you got rid of one of your unimportant desires? Is it possible you’d experience more lyrical grace if you sloughed off your irrelevant worries? I suggest you meditate on questions like these, Virgo. According to my interpretation of the astrological omens, experiencing beauty is not a luxury right now, but rather a necessity. For the sake of your mental, physical, and spiritual health, you need to be in its presence as much as possible. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I’m pretty sure God wants you to be rich. Or at least richer. And I know for a fact that I want you to be richer. What about you? Do you want to be wealthier? Or at least a bit more flush? Or would you rather dodge the spiritual tests you’d have to face if you became a money magnet? Would you prefer to go about your daily affairs without having to deal with the increased responsibilities and obligations that would come with a bigger income? I suspect you will soon receive fresh evidence about these matters. How you respond will determine whether or not you’ll be able to take advantage of new financial opportunities that are becoming available.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The U.S. military budget this year is $633 billion. In comparison, the United Nations’ peacekeeping budget is $7.8 billion. So my country will spend 81 times more to wage war than the U.N. will spend to make peace. I would prefer it if the ratio were reversed, but my opinion carries no weight. It’s possible, though, that I might be able to convince you Scorpios, at least in the short run, to place a greater emphasis on cultivating cooperation and harmony than on being swept up in aggression and conflict. You might be tempted to get riled up over and over again in the coming weeks, but I think that would lead you astray from living the good life. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Actor Matthew McConaughey prides himself on his willingness to learn from his mistakes and failures. A few years ago he collected and read all the negative reviews critics had ever written about his work in films. It was “an interesting kind of experiment,” he told Yahoo News. “There was some really good constructive criticism.” According to my reading of the astrological omens, Sagittarius, now would be an excellent time for you to try an experiment comparable to McConaughey’s. Be brave! CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “Dear Oracle: I might be hallucinating, but recently I swear my pet iguana has been getting turned on whenever I disrobe in front of it. My naked body seems to incite it to strut around and make guttural hissing sounds and basically act like it’s doing a mating dance. Is it me, or is the planets? I think my iguana is a Capricorn like me. — Captivating Capricorn.” Dear Capricorn: Only on rare occasions have I seen you Capricorns exude such high levels of animal magnetism as you are now. Be careful where you point that stuff! I won’t be shocked if a wide variety of creatures finds you extra alluring. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Eat like you love yourself,” advises author Tara Stiles. “Move
like you love yourself. Speak like you love yourself. Act like you love yourself.” Those four prescriptions should be top priorities for you, Aquarius. Right now, you can’t afford to treat your beautiful organism with even a hint of carelessness. You need to upgrade the respect and compassion and reverence you give yourself. So please breathe like you love yourself. Sleep and dream like you love yourself. Think like you love yourself. Make love like you love yourself. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): If blindfolded, most people can’t tell the difference between Pepsi and Coca-Cola. But I bet you could, at least this week. Odds are good that you will also be adept at distinguishing between genuine promises and fakes ones. And you will always know when people are fooling themselves. No one will be able to trick you into believing in hype, lies, or nonsense. Why? Because these days you are unusually perceptive and sensitive and discerning. This might on occasion be a problem, of course, since you won’t be able to enjoy the comfort and consolation that illusions can offer. But mostly it will be an asset, providing you with a huge tactical advantage and lots of good material for jokes. ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Dear Astrologer: We Aries people have an intense fire burning inside us. It’s an honor and a privilege. We’re lucky to be animated with such a generous share of the big energy that gives life to all of nature. But sometimes the fire gets too wild and strong for us. We can’t manage it. It gets out of our control. That’s how I’m feeling lately. These beloved flames that normally move me and excite me are now the very thing that’s making me crazy. What to do? — Aries.” Dear Aries: Learn from what firefighters do to fight forest fires. They use digging tools to create wide strips of dirt around the fire, removing all the flammable brush and wood debris. When the fire reaches this path, it’s deprived of fuel. Close your eyes and visualize that scene.
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for a short time? 35 “Alice” diner owner 37 Apprehension 38 TV series set in the Tanner household 39 1980’s Punky as an impediment? 42 Conductor Toscanini 43 Play leapfrog 44 Sault ___ Marie 47 Apparel size: abbr. 48 Blown away 51 Made an “Old MacDonald” sound 53 One of the Carpenters 55 Thread target 57 River by the Louvre 58 Big boats 59 “I’m getting seasick in this jail,” e.g.? 61 Bikini Bare competitor 62 Took in too much 63 Georgia’s capital, casually 64 Barnyard pen 65 “Go away!” 66 “Cats” inspiration’s
monogram DOWN 1 Legendary 2 The Rock’s real first name 3 “Who’s ___?” 4 More piquant 5 “Life of Pi” director Lee 6 Banned pollutants, briefly 7 Distinctive atmospheres 8 Game for little Little Leaguers 9 Lend a hand 10 “3 Feet High and Rising” hip hop trio 11 Drink before dinner 12 Tiny machine 15 MLB banned substance 17 Shiba ___ (dog breed) 21 Average grades 23 Big name in ‘80s hair metal 25 “Same here”
29 “Pretty Woman” star 31 Mufasa’s malevolent brother 32 French cheese 33 Hardly any 34 Big shindig 35 Oscar-winning role for Meryl 36 ‘ neighbor 39 Troubled region of Europe, with “The” 40 Word in many cereal names 41 Hulu offering 44 Telluride top 45 Basic doctrines 46 1926 English Channel swimmer Gertrude 49 Spine-tingling 50 Fizzling out 52 Circus precaution 54 Secaucus clock setting 56 Frozen waffle brand 59 Consumer protection org. 60 Affable Affleck
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100003_NPA130792-0022 Yes-No EPB ad 5.172x10.396.indd 1 chattanoogapulse.com
12:42 Pulse • May 1-7, 2014 • The4/9/14 • PM 29
It Wasn't Exactly Springtime for Hitler Thank you, stupid blond hippie girl with incredibly badly choppedup hair. Thank you very much. Thank you for reminding me of my place, of why I act the way I have to, and in fact why I do what I do, now that I think about it. “How do you feel about making money protecting Nazis?” She taunted me as I was passing by a barricade that wouldn’t contain a goat but ALEX seemed to be doing well containing the remnants of the oncemighty Occupy Movement—the last group of assholes to occupy the lot across the street from us. Despite the heat of my uniform and the glare of the sun overhead, the question caught my attention, so I stopped and turned to look at her. “I’m not judging or anything, but are you a Nazi? Because I’m here to protect YOU, you silly goose.” Her peers laughed. She was desperate to make a point in her attempt to shame me, but like everyone else, I don’t think she was fully aware of just what point she wished to make. She wanted to make a statement,
make an appearance, be bold, do something. I get that and can completely relate to it, in fact. The difference? I know which point I would like to make, as compared to just swinging wild clove-cigarettefragranced fists through the air. The counter-protest people present at this week’s National Socialist Movement rally were the cream of the crop of those that simply could not TEACH resist doing exactly what its antithesis group wanted it to do. The most committed, the most dedicated, and least thought out. My kind of people, really, though I was just one of many, many cops present to safeguard against clashes between the two groups. The primary group, the National Socialist Movement (aka “Nazis”) had lawfully acquired a permit to exercise their freedom of speech on the proverbial courthouse lawn. Their goal? To gain attention, notoriety, and with a bit of luck, lawsuits, since that is one of their primary sources of income in this day and age. Against such an obviously back-
On The Beat
ward opponent, the surest way to “win” is to simply not play their game. Silence is the one thing they cannot abide; sounds simple, doesn’t it? Just avoid the damn thing. Don’t stand in one square block of the 160 square miles that our city is comprised of, and you win against these nimrods by default. But alas…no. For the one thing an extremist group cannot resist is another extremist group. Or two, or three, or four, in this case. It is safe to say that the roll of the National Socialist Movement has shrunk through the years (for those outside of the federal prison system, anyway) and while the Nazis were trying not to show how skinny they are under the embarrassingly loose military-style uniforms they were wearing, what they really couldn’t hide was how few of them were there to “march”. Their megaphones were weak and would have been made weaker had there been no one to direct them at. While many resisted being that target, there were still plenty that could not, and so they had their much sought-after audience after all. And just as they could not resist taunting the NSM, a few couldn’t
Extremists (law enforcement) protecting extremists (white supremacist bikers) from extremists (“progressives”). Does it really get any better than this?” resist taunting the cops, either. And after the brief laughter at the stupid blond hippie girl with the badly chopped hair? I further made my point by openly embracing members of her tribe that actually did know me. People I’d worked with on causes, protection I’d provided and advice I’d given (and received far more than once). People that knew there was more to me than MY uniform, unlike the clods across the street.
To her credit…I think she learned something. And through her silence (and those open expressions of acceptance from her fellow progressive crowd members) maybe she learned something else, too. I could only hope, because those idiots across the street sure weren’t going to. Speaking of idiots, some of the swastika-clad bikers trying to perpetuate their own stereotypes were muscling through the crowd (right next to the girl, actually) and the counter-protestors there to fight hate with love were beginning to surround and crowd them in with vile words and threats (ironically enough) so I had work to do, and we waded into the mix. Extremists (law enforcement) protecting extremists (white supremacist bikers) from extremists (“progressives”). Does it really get any better than this? As General Patton himself once said, “God help me, I do love it so.” (But you’d best extinguish that clove cigarette. Yuck.)
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When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/alexteach
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/mojoburrito chattanoogapulse.com • May 1-7, 2014 • The Pulse • 31