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Nov 28-Dec 4

Vol. 10 • No. 48


holiday shopping guide

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

chattanooga's long history WITH

GRATITUDE A look at our city's vibrant spirit of thanks, giving and acceptance


OOD NIGHT. Gin, Vodka, Alcohol• 40% by Volume (80 proof) ©2013, New Amsterdam Spirits Company,4,Modesto, CA. All• reserved. 13-24528-ZPO-097-423309 November 28-december 2013 2 • The Pulse

Cover Story


Managing Editor Mike McJunkin


Contributing Editor Janis Hashe Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny • Jennifer Crutchfield John DeVore • Mike Dobbs • Janis Hashe Marc T. Michael • Mike McJunkin • Ernie Paik Gary Poole • Alex Teach

By Jennifer Crutchfield

As our country gives thanks this week, Chattanoogans will celebrate, donate and remember. The Tennessee Valley was a wilderness in 1621 when the Plymouth colonists and the Wampanoag Indians shared the three-day autumn harvest feast acknowledged as the first Thanksgiving celebration.

Editorial Interns Keith King • Chelsea Sokol Art Director Gary Poole Cartoonists & Illustrators Tom Tomorrow • Max Cannon Jen Sorensen • Sketch Crowd Staff Photographer Josh Lang Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull


Feature Stories

Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Julie Brown Rick Leavell • Leif Sawyer • Stacey Tyler Jerry Ware • Candice York

Everything Else



By Marc T. Michael Somewhere along the way, Butch Ross decided to become a musician, a traveling folksinger, a road dog criss-crossing the country for well received but low-paying gigs and for a time that was good.

Offices 1305 Carter St., Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Website Email Calendar


THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. © 2013 Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II






S P O W se H HO Pul e IP H E S n Th i US k O ee H tW


By Rich Bailey Photographer Ron Lowery shoots most of his photos from the tiny cockpit of cloud chaser, a grasshopper-green twin-engine plane that is entirely open to the sky. No roof, doors or windows.


4 5 7 14 16 18 28 33 35 36 37 38


By John DeVore This year’s potential Oscar contenders seem to have a certain hopelessness about them. The Academy values such stories—Best Picture is almost always an inward look at the nature of man.



3224 Brainerd Road, Chattanooga, TN Advance Tickets: (423) 529-2233 • November 28-december 4, 2013 • The Pulse • 3



Jazz Lives!

New Series at BLT One of the million things we love about Bruce Kaplan and Barking Legs Theater is the commitment to bringing high-quality jazz to town. Some of the best shows we’ve been to in Chattanooga have been the jazz concerts there during the past couple of years. So, jazz lovers, rejoice! BLT is collaborating with Jazzanooga on an ongoing live concert series that will feature some of Chattanooga’s highly regarded jazz musicians, artists and performers. The “Living Jazz” showcase will provide an intimate atmosphere to enjoy and appreciate one of America’s true art forms—jazz.


The series begins on Sunday, Dec. 8 with Chattanooga’s versatile jazz performer and pianist, David Walters, along with his quartet. Performance begins at 5:30pm. Walters currently serves on the piano faculties of The University of Tennessee at Chattanooga, Cadek Conservatory of Music and Chattanooga State Community College where he teaches classical and jazz piano. His performance resume includes many chamber music concerts with both UTC and Cadek faculty members, solo piano recitals, local and regional appearances with his jazz trio and numerous appearances throughout the area as a solo jazz pianist. He has performed at many public and private events, including the United States

Governors Conference and at Riverbend, for which he, along with his trio group, received rave notices. As a jazz pianist, his touch is lyrical and perceptive. There is an intimacy, directness and honesty that makes his interpretation of jazz music very good company. Note that the following Friday, Dec. 13, BLT will host acclaimed saxophonist Greg Tardy with the Boling/Brown/Holloway Trio for an 8 p.m. show. Be there or be square, jazz buffs. (423) 624-5347, — Staff Safe kayaking

Splash and Roll Given the weather at the moment this is being written, possibly the last thing on your mind is plunging yourself into cascading, freezing water. But for hardy souls out there, and those who are planning for the future, Outdoor Chattanooga is offering its continuing series in kayaking skills. Our region has some of the best kayaking opportunities in the country, so why not learn to take advantage of them—safely? On Tuesday, Dec. 3, another practice session of the Rapid Learning Whitewater Program is scheduled. Adults and kids ages 8 and older can participate in the safety of a pool. According to Outdoor Chattanooga, you’ll “learn the skills you need to safely paddle the Southeast’s whitewater streams. “From your first roll practice to your first Class III run, Outdoor Chattanooga’s ACA certified staff will be right beside you, helping you learn and explore. All equipment is provided.” For more information, visit, or call (423) 6436888. — Staff

4 • The Pulse • November 28-december 4, 2013 •

pulse » PICKS

• A curated weekly selection of picks from the Chattanooga Live and Arts & Entertainment calendars by Pulse staffers.

thu11.28 WALK BEFORE YOU STUFF Stuffing Strut 2013 Run/ Walk Thanksgiving • Before you belly up to the Turkey Day feast, get in a bit of healthy exercise outdoors. 8 a.m. • Chester Frost Park, 2318 Gold Point Cir N. (423) 842-0177

SERIOUSLY FUNNY D.L. Hughley • Actor, TV host, syndicated radio host...and one seriously funny guy. Topical commentary on everything happening with a razor-sharp wit. 7:30 p.m. • The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233,

BROTHERLY ROCK Silver Palms • Brothers Dalton and Adam Drury front this four-piece from the southern coasts of Georgia. 9 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400,

sat11.30 LIVE AND LOCAL “Ryan Oyer’s Extravaganza”


• Local musician Ryan Oyer invites a few friends over for post-holiday jam. Including Danimal Pinson, Tiffany Taylor, Amber Fults, Jessica Nunn, Gabriel Newell, Mia Treadwell, and By Order of the Queen. 8 p.m. • Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.orgt

Hopsing Project


• One of Chattanooga's most beloved bands reunites for a special Thanksgiving show, along with their good friends in Glowing Bordis. One show you do NOT want to miss! 9:30 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644,

pulse » PICK of the litter




Marc Michael • Molly Maguires frontman (and regular Pulse music writer) makes a rare solo performance. 10 p.m. • The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191,


Mise En Scenesters presents another "You Won't See This In 'Regular' Theaters" film with John Waters' loving look at one of the most influential drag artists of all time.

John Waters’ “I Am Divine” 9 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave.



TWO FLOORS • ONE BIG PARTY • LIVE MUSIC • DANCING • 409 MARKET ST • 423.756.1919 open 7 days a week » full menu until 2am » 21+ » smoking allowed • November 28-december 4, 2013 • The Pulse • 5

TerraMae Appalachian Therapy Our Version of Happy Hour—Every Tues.–Thurs. from 4:30 to 7 pm PINTS AND PORKERS FOR $5 TUESDAYS Get a fresh pint of locally brewed beer and a braised pork wing appetizer created by our chef for $5! WINE WEDNESDAYS All house wines by the glass 1/2 off, select bottles 1/2 off. THROWBACK THURSDAYS $5 Prohibition Cocktails and 2-for-1 Well brands from our mixologist Justin! NEW CHEF INSPIRED BAR MENU!

122 E 10th Street / 423.710.2925 6 • The Pulse • November 28-december 4, 2013 •


janis hashe

Still Thankful for the Dream …and for people like Lou Reed who point out it’s still a dream for too many


HE LATE LOU REED IS LIKELY BEST KNOWN FOR PUSHING the envelope musically and for songs about heroin and drag queens. But Lou, he saw the world, and he cared about people it was easy to see no one else seemed to care about. Take these lyrics from “Dirty Blvd.”: Give me your hungry, your tired your poor I’ll piss on ‘em that’s what the Statue of Bigotry says Your poor huddled masses, let’s club ‘em to death and get it over with and just dump ‘em on the boulevard… …And back at the Wilshire, Pedro sits there dreaming he’s found a book on magic in a garbage can He looks at the pictures and stares at the cracked ceiling “At the count of 3” he says, “I hope I can disappear” It’s Thanksgiving week, and many of us are lucky to be feasting with family and friends. Yet once again, in the richest country in the world, a story buried on page 5 of the local daily on Nov. 7 told us, “Census says 49 million in U.S. live in poverty.” Forty-nine million people. It’s hard to conceive of that, isn’t it? The AP report goes on to say that the poor include workingage adults who are underemployed in lowwage jobs because that’s all they can find. Seniors 65 and older accounted for the biggest increase. Sixteen percent of our country lives in poverty. How shameful is that?

I’m just not going to listen to the old “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” crap. Lou Reed could tell you about little kids selling flowers on the street who not only don’t have bootstraps, they don’t even have shoes. Seniors who worked all their lives…their bootstraps have worn out. But never mind. Cut food stamps, do away with Social Security and Medicare. It’s your own fault you’re poor. He’s going down to the dirty boulevard… No need to raise the minimum wage. Never mind that it’s actually not mostly young kids in their first jobs making that pay, but people trying to support a family. Tell them striking Walmart workers that this here’s a right-to-work state, and if you don’t want that job, we’ll find someone desperate enough to take it. But it’s Thanksgiving. So now, I’m going to talk about things and people I am thankful for today. I am thankful that I worked in the fields the summer before college so that I got a taste of what it’s like to work like that your whole life: 50-hour work weeks at below minimum wage. I am thankful I was in college at a time I could get scholarships to pay my way…otherwise, I would not be a college graduate today.

I am thankful I have a strong, supportive, loving mother who worked as an elementary teacher for 40 years and supported three little kids on a teacher’s salary. I am thankful that during the Great Recession, I found agencies and good people to help me fight the big bank that was doing its best to take my house. I am thankful that all these things, and many more, have made me more understanding and compassionate toward other people and the soul-crushing journeys many of them bear with such grace. I am thankful I have a voice and can use it to call attention to injustice. I am thankful for Lou Reed and all the artists like him who speak out for those 49 million people. And fly fly away, from this dirty boulevard I want to fly, from dirty boulevard I want to fly, from dirty boulevard I want to fly-flyfly-fly, from the dirty boulevard Someday maybe we can all fly away. I will be thankful we can still dream of that day.

Love at first sight • November 28-december 4, 2013 • The Pulse • 7

A view of Market Street, circa 1907

a history of gratitude By Jennifer Crutchfield


early 88 percent of Americans will eat close to 46 million turkeys on Thanksgiving this year, and as our country gives thanks, Chattanoogans will celebrate, donate and remember. The Tennessee Valley was a wilderness in 1621 when the Plymouth colonists and the Wampanoag Indians shared the three-day autumn harvest feast acknowledged as the first Thanksgiving celebration. Chattanooga families will gather, walk, donate, volunteer and serve during this holiday, finding inspiration in each other, their families and their community.

Both our country and our city have a long tradition of giving thanks 8 • The Pulse • November 28-december 4, 2013 •

Americans have always been thankful. Finding freedom and safely on foreign shores infused those new Americans with a gratitude that is unique and that perseveres. Canada, Japan, Germany, Liberians and the Netherlands also celebrate a Thanksgiving holiday but the American celebration is one of a kind. The Continental Congress issued Thanksgiving Proclamations as early as 1777 celebrating victories at the Battle of Saratoga, and newly

elected President George Washington was the first president to proclaim a day of thanksgiving honoring the success of the Revolutionary War. Sarah Josepha was born at the close of the Revolutionary War in New Hampshire and had a lifelong obsession with Thanksgiving. She was feminine, gracious—and inexorable. As a young widow with five small children in 1828, she became editor of the first magazine by women for women, is often credited with the famous poem “Mary Had a Little Lamb” and fought for property rights, educational equality and employment opportunities for women. For more than 40 years Sarah applied to elected officials to create a national day of Thanksgiving, a day when all Americans would come together as one to give thanks for the blessings, freedoms and bounty of our country, our land and our families. On October 3, 1863, President Abraham Lincoln issued a presidential proclamation that set aside the last Thursday of November to be celebrated as “A Day of Thanksgiving and Praise.” That tradition has continued for 150 years. Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, delivered just a few days before the anticipated national Thanksgiving Day, would use American freedom and sacrifice to embolden the Union cause with some of the most stirring words ever spoken. Today, a national initiative challenges Americans to share his momentous words and to record yourself reciting one of the most important declarations ever made. Visit to watch Presidents Barack Obama, Bill Clinton and George Bush join Martha Stewart, Stephen Colbert and others as they recite a speech proclaimed as the two most powerful minutes in American history. Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal...

Sarah Josepha, who lobbied for an official Thanksgiving holiday • November 28-december 4, 2013 • The Pulse • 9

Chattanooga was a city besieged by war during this first national Thanksgiving—but a spirit of thanks, gratitude and acceptance were already vibrant in this city. Thomas McCallie had come to Chattanooga, bringing commerce, faith and a love of education and family. His son, T.H. McCallie, carried that into his congregation during the Civil War, his pews shared by the faithful on both sides of the devastating war. Union and Confederate soldiers were all welcomed by this passionate minister, His church, home and family all became centers of faith, education and equality. Chattanooga’s history of thankfulness and charity are deeply rooted in the city’s legacy. The Scenic City has been known for having the most charitable wealth of any city in Tennessee and has a spirit of generosity rooted in the long-term gains generated from post-war business and industry. Coca Cola, Provident Insurance and Chat-

tem grew in Chattanooga as they served America and built a culture of giving, their philanthropy changing the city’s skyline and improving quality of life for the residents. The size of Chattanooga’s private philanthropic foundations continue to dwarf others, and the city has a greater per capita foundation income than most of the country. Improvements in health, education, religion, social services, recreation and the arts can all be traced to these families, foundations and their commitment to thankfulness and gratitude. Local PBS station WTCI-TV has partnered with the Chattanooga History Center to honor the heritage of change and innovation in the city, producing and airing the “History Makers” series that has celebrated the Siskin Brothers, Chattanooga Venture, Ruth Holmberg, the Brock Family, the Lyndhurst Foundation, Dalton Roberts, the Dismembered Tennesseans and the Howard Class of 1960. On Thanksgiving, WTCI

10 • The Pulse • November 28-december 4, 2013 •

will air “History Makers 2013: The Heritage of the McCallie Family” at 8 p.m,. Helen Pregulman, one of Garrison Siskin’s children, reflects on “righteousness” as a part of the tradition of Judaism that is a justification for being here and which was “instilled in our family as a part of everyday life.” Many of Chattanooga’s early families shared this principle of philanthropy and it has guided a spirit of change since the city’s early days. When the Memorial Auditorium was built, there were annual thankful sings, events where Chattanoogans came together to celebrate being thankful, collect goods for the needy and raise their voices and souls in a spirit of gratitude that swelled the hearts of the community and provided sustenance to those in need. Thanksgiving morning begins for many Chattanooga families with walking, giving and serving. The Turkey Trot to benefit the Kidney Foundation

and the Grateful Gobbler to benefit the Chattanooga Area Homeless Coalition bring families, organizations and businesses together to walk to increase awareness and raise funds to support those programs. The Coalition currently covers 11 counties: Bledsoe, Bradley, Grundy, Hamilton, Franklin, Marion, McMinn, Meigs, Polk, Rhea and Sequatchie, and 100 percent of event funds support that work. Pete Cooper, Chair of the Community Foundation of Greater Chattanooga, says, “Chattanooga is an amazing center for philanthropy. We seem to understand that we are dependent on each other. For the best interest of the community some people can give money, some can give time, some can give leadership, some can give hope. We can all give something. And it is in the fabric of this community to do just that, neighbor helping neighbor in large and small ways. We are all blessed to live in such a place.”

Ways to Be Grateful, Healthy and Wise Whether you are cooking for your family, going out to eat or having a celebration at someone’s house Thanksgiving, you can have fun—and stay healthy. Consider some of these helpful hints: •

If you have small children, plan ahead to have healthy snacks handy at home, at the restaurant or at grandmother’s house. Plan to do something outside with your children, friends or family. Join a charity walk, stroll across the Walnut Street Bridge or enjoy an afternoon hike. We live in the perfect place to combine celebrating with staying healthy. Whether you’re downtown, on a mountain or in a valley, nature is never far away. Plan for what to do with the kids while you’re cooking. Invite another family or friend to switch off with kids and you can take turns or let a visiting relative take a “Chattanooga adventure” with the kids while you are cooking.

Visit for some great recipes.

Where to Volunteer, Donate & Serve Volunteer: • Community Kitchen – • Chattanooga Area Food Bank – • Chattanooga Rescue Mission – • United Way of Greater Chattanooga Volunteer Center – • Visit to find ways that you and your family can volunteer in our community.

Eating Out TerraMae Appalachian Bistro, 120 East 10th St. (423) 265-5033 $12, children, $40 adults. 212 Market Restaurant, 212 Market St. (423) 265-1212. A la carte menu. Hair of the Dog Pub, 334 Market St. (423) 265-4615. Open at 5 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. Open at 5 p.m.

Enzo’s Market (Cafe/deli), 1501 Long St. (423) 486-9312. City Cafe, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St., (423) 266-4121. Ruth’s Chris Steak House, 2321 Lifestyle Way. (423) 602-5900. $35.95 adults. Brunch on the Bluff: Renaissance Commons and Back Inn Cafe. (423) 265-5033. $15.95 children, $27.95 adults

Chattanooga Choo-Choo, 1400 Market St. (423) 308-2481. $13.95 children, $28.95 adults Broad Street Grille at the Chattanoogan, 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400. $19 children, $36 adults Southern Belle Riverboat (with a two-hour cruise) (423) 266-4488. $17.95 children & $35.95 adults Waffle House All of them. Asian Restaurants Most of them

Watch and Celebrate with Your Family 87th Annual Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade November 28 from 9 a.m. – noon “History Makers: The Heritage of the McCallie Family” WTCI-PBS Thanksgiving Day, November 28, 8 p.m. Chattanooga 360 – Experience the battles of Chattanooga that were occurring during the first national Thanksgiving at a site created by the Civil War Trust

Thanksgiving Day Charity Walks: • Sportsbarn Turkey Trot – 6418 Lee Highway, Registration begins at 7 a.m. • Grateful Gobbler Benefits the Gobbler Fund for the Chattanooga Regional Homeless Coalition Register online, walk begins at Coolidge Park at 8 a.m. Donate: • Community Foundation of Greater Chattanooga – • United Way of Greater Chattanooga – • November 28-december 4, 2013 • The Pulse • 11


marc t. michaeL

Butch Ross Sings About Nouns People, Places, Things is a dulcimer crown jewel


UTCH ROSS STARTED LIFE AT A YOUNG AGE BUT slowly grew older until eventually he was an adult. Somewhere along the way he decided to become a musician, a traveling folksinger, a road dog criss-crossing the country for well received but low-paying gigs and for a time that was good. The glamour of a late-model car parked in front of a cluttered apartment in the once-fashionable part of town may elude the common mortal but to a traveling musician. it is part and parcel to the life and you love it—at least until the invisible hand of

honest music

local and regional shows

Get Hot Or Go Home and Tony Holiday [$5] The Oak Creek Band [$5]

Wed, Nov 27 Wed, Dec 4

9pm 9pm

Live Trivia every Sunday from 4-6pm, followed by Live Music Sunday, December 1: The Old Time Travelers [Free]

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner. 11am-2am, 7 days a week. 35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 *

12 • The Pulse • November 28-december 4, 2013 •

fate brings you to a crossroad. For Butch it came in the confluence of three factors: a woman, an instrument and an epiphany about the direction his career was taking. One night he went to bed a guitarslinging folksinger, the next morning he woke up a dulcimer-shredding folksinger. The difference may seem subtle, but it isn’t. The transformation revitalized a man and his career and brought joy back to a pursuit that had started to seem less than fulfilling. Butch is many things: a multi-instrumentalist, a singer, an entertainer, but at the heart of it all Butch is a songwriter. His playing is impeccable, his vocal work is pitch-perfect and crystal clear but one listen to his work and it becomes clear that he is a fellow who takes great pride in the way he crafts his songs. Words are not chosen indiscriminately. The significance of this must not be underestimated when considering that Butch, already an accomplished performer, set about mastering a new instrument. One presumes that for a time at least songwriting took a backseat to the technical aspects of playing. Butch has said himself that learning the dulcimer brought back to him a kind of giddy enjoyment of music he hadn’t felt since his high school days learning to play guitar. It was FUN again. Eventually, the fun carried him all the way to Ireland where he met famed dulcimer player and instructor Robert Force, who suggested to him that if he were willing to record an album of dulcimer music, Force would produce it and put it on his own label. The result was The Moonshiner’s Atlas, a collection of folksongs and a few originals that Butch has dubbed, “The soundtrack to my learning the instrument.” It was followed up with the 2009 instrumental album A Long Way from Shady Grove in which Butch demonstrates his mastery of the instrument, firmly establishing himself as the Jimmy Page of Appalachian dulcimer. One thing remained before he could be a full-fledged Jedi: the marriage of

his newfound instrumental skills to his considerable song-writing ability. Four years would pass before that dream was finally realized with the release of People, Places,Things on Dec. 15. People, Places, Things is the culmination of years of practice, hard work and hand-to-the-plow practical experience on the part of Butch Ross and is, for the moment, his crown jewel. I say “for the moment,” because as good as the album is, designating it his magnum opus would imply that it’s as good as it’s going to get and I don’t think that’s true. Songwriters (good ones) age like wine, picking up subtleties and nuance along the way. Between that clumsy metaphor and Butch’s unwavering dedication to perfecting his work, it is a surety that his greatest album has not been released yet but People, Places,Things is an exemplary folk album and he has set the bar very high indeed. It is a terrible shame (for many reasons) that this will be the last season for A Prairie Home Companion. Were that not the case Butch would inevitably guest star on the show, potentially even earning a regular position there. That’s how good he is, that’s how good this latest album is and if you aren’t familiar with A Prairie Home Companion, please understand this is meant as high praise. The album contains 11 tracks, ranging from the whimsical to haunting, most of it is at least semi-autobiographical. The provocatively titled “The Battle of Travis Kilgore” in particular ought to bring a smile to your face, especially if you’re a musician and double-dog especially if you are a musician who came of age in the ’80s. Butch’s easygoing style and flowing narrative evoke a lot of familiar imagery from back in the day—and when a songwriter can make you feel a tune is as much about your experience as theirs, that’s pretty powerful stuff. To keep up with Butch and his hatchet (an old traditional term for the dulcimer I just made up) or to purchase his music you can contact him through Facebook and at

The album contains 11 tracks, ranging from the whimsical to haunting, most of it is at least semiautobiographical.”


Home for the Holidays “Through a Child’s Eyes” Concert Sponsored by First Tennessee Foundation

December 21, 2013 • 7:30PM December 22, 2013 • 3:00PM Tivoli Theatre

Tickets start at $19 • Children $15 423.267.8583 •

Open for lunch 11am-3pm Thursday-Friday Come enjoy dinner and live entertainment from 5p-11p during our special nights: Monday: Broad Street Blues Band Wednesday: Wine Down Wednesday Thursday: Feel It Thursday with 96¢ cocktails from 5pm-6pm Friday: Jazz | Saturday: Throw Back Night After Party 11pm-3am, 25+ Fri/Sat

Mocha Restaurant & Music Lounge

511 Broad Street, Chattanooga (423) 531-4154 • • November 28-december 4, 2013 • The Pulse • 13

Chattanooga Live




Little Country Giants



30 THU 9p 5 FRI 10p 6 SAT 10p 7 FRI 10p 13




















THUrsday 11.28 “Pickin’ at the Post” with Bluegrass bands 5 p.m. American Legion Post, Highway 11 N. (423) 582-1337 Keyz Brown improvisational Jazz 6 p.m. Ari’s Harbor Light, 9718 Hixson Pk. (423) 843-2800, Bluegrass and Country Jam 6:30 p.m. Grace Nazarene Church, 6310 Dayton Blvd. (423) 842-5919, Courtney Daly and Ivan Wilson 7 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5840 Lake Resort Terr. (423) 870-0777, Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, TWERKSGIVING: Hard in tha Pink II, Pinkie’s Birthday 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, Open Mike with Hap Henniger 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191, facebook. com/theofficechatt Hopsing Project Reunion, Glowing Bordis 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St.

14 • The Pulse • November 28-december 4, 2013 •

(423) 267-4644,

friday 11.29 Charley Yates 4:30 p.m. Wimpie’s Country Restaurant, 9826 Dayton Pk. (423) 332-6201 Jason Thomas: The Man in Black Tribute 5 p.m. Victorian Lounge, Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. (800) 872-2529, Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Mason, 2204 Hamilton Pl. Blvd. (423) 894-8726, Tim Lewis 5:30 p.m. El Mason Hixson, 248 Northgate Mall. (423) 710-1201 Binji Varsossa 6 p.m. Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge, 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461, The Half & Half Band 7 p.m. Troy’s Place, 320 Emerson Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (423) 965-8346 Danny Sample/ Dave Walters 7 p.m. 212 Market, 212 Market St. (423) 265-1212, Courtney Daly and Ivan Wilson 7 p.m. Los Reyes Mexican Restaurant, 817 S Hamilton

St. (706) 278-0995, Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, Angel Snow, Little Country Giants 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, Mountain Opry 8 p.m. Walden’s Ridge Civic Center, 2501 Fairmount Pk. (423) 886-3252 Bluegrass Dinner Music 8 p.m. Ocoee Dam Deli and Diner, 1223 Highway 64, Ocoee. (423) 338-8184 Kathy Tugman 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400, Silver Palms, Tab 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, Troy Underwood 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191, facebook. com/theofficechatt Skin Deep 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, Matt Stephens Project 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, Stereotype

10 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919, facebook. com/raw.chattanooga

saturday 11.30 “Festival of Trees” with Jim Ricketts & Crystal Elam Noon. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001. Randy & Daniel 12:30 p.m. Cartecay Vineyards, 5704 Clear Creek Rd. (706) 698-9463, Jason Thomas: The Man in Black Tribute 5 p.m. Victorian Lounge, Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. (800) 872-2529, Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Mason, 2204 Hamilton Pl. Blvd. (423) 894-8726, Tim Lewis 5:30 p.m. El Mason Hixson, 248 Northgate Mall. (423) 710-1201 Binji Varsossa 6 p.m. Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge, 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461, Birchwood Family Opry Bluegrass and Gospel 7 p.m. 5423 Hwy 60. (423) 284-2452. Nate Kettenring 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427

Chattanooga Live

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191


Roger "Hurricane" Wilson

Victor Wooten & His Brothers

Thursday, November 28: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, November 29: 9pm Troy Underwood Saturday, November 30: 10pm Marc Michael of the Molly Maguires Tuesday, December 3: 7pm Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

Williams St. (423) 702-8081, 24/7 Band + jamming and singing 7 p.m. Red Clay Pickin’ Barn, 1095 Weatherly Switch Tr. (423) 464-3034 The Hopeful Country Band 7 p.m. Troy’s Place, 320 Emerson Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (423) 965-8346 Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, Paul Smith and The Sky High Band 8 p.m. American Legion Post 81, 227 James Asbury Ln. (423) 476-4451 The Countrymen Band 8 p.m. Eagles Club, 6128 Airways Blvd. (423) 894-9940 Roger “Hurricane” Wilson 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960, Ryan Oyer’s Extravaganza: Ryan Oyer, Danimal Pinson, Tiffany Taylor, Amber Fults, Jessica Nunn, Gabriel Newell, Mia Treadwell, By Order of the Queen 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, Kathy Tugman 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400,

Skymatic, Soul Mechanic, The Mad Scientist 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, Husky Burnette 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, Soul Survivor 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, Marc Michael 10 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191, facebook. com/theofficechatt The Breakfast Club & Mother Mary 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, Stereotype 10 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919, facebook. com/raw.chattanooga

sunday 12.01 Friends of Folk Music Jam 2 p.m. Folk School of Chattanooga, 1200 Mountain Creek Rd. (423) 827-8906, Live Irish Music 5 p.m. Moccasin Bend Brewing Co., 4015 Tennessee Ave. (423) 821-6392, Open Jam Session 5 p.m. Cheap Seats Sports Bar, 2925 Rossville Blvd.

(423) 629-5636 Acoustic Gospel Jam 6 p.m. Brainerd United Methodist Church, 4315 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-0333

monday 12.02 Christmas at the Courthouse Lunchtime Concerts 11:30 a.m. Hamilton County Courthouse, 201 E. 7th St. Live Gospel Music 6:30 p.m. Wendy’s, 7655 East Brainerd Rd. (423) 331-7126 Big Band Night 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, Screaming Females, One Timers 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400,

tuesday 12.03 Christmas at the Courthouse Lunchtime Concerts 11:30 a.m.Hamilton County Courthouse, 201 E. 7th St. Live Gospel Music Concert 6:30 p.m. Wendy’s, 6009 Ooltewah-Georgetown Rd. (423) 899-7852 Jim Palmer 7:30 p.m. 1885 Grill, 3914 Saint Elmo Ave. (423) 485-3050, Uptown Big Band Swing and Dance Party 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644,

wednesday 12.04 Christmas at the Courthouse Lunchtime Concerts 11:30 a.m. Hamilton County Courthouse, 201 E. 7th St. Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Meson Hixson, 248 Northgate Mall, (423) 710-1201 Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, Bluegrass Jam 7:30 p.m. Folk School of Chattanooga, 1200 Mountain Creek Rd. (423) 827-8906, Victor Wooten & His Brothers 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929, Priscilla & Little Rickee 8:30 p.m. Las Margarita’s, 1101 Hixson Pk. (423) 756-3332,

Map these locations on Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks! Stop by & check out our daily specials! Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers




3658 Ringgold Road East Ridge, TN • 423.867.1351 • November 28-december 4, 2013 • The Pulse • 15

Between the Sleeves

record reviews • ernie paik

Lovely Alibis and Beautiful Persistence Music for the long attention span listener





The Handsome Family Wilderness (Carrot Top)








istening to the superb latest album Wilderness by the New Mexico outfit The Handsome Family makes this writer realize that, generally, we have some pretty low expectations for lyricists in popular music, which is too bad. Weak lyrics should be judged harshly. This writer brings this up because the songs on Wilderness are so richly written with so many vivid descriptions and imaginative plots that they truly put most so-called songwriters to shame. The core of The Handsome Family is the husband and wife duo of Brett and Rennie Sparks—Brett is the primary composer while Rennie is the lyricist, and both sing their macabre and inventive Americana with country and folk roots, reminiscent of Neil Young, with Brett’s deep baritone voice perhaps appealing to Leonard Cohen fans. Budding writers are

16 • The Pulse • November 28-december 4, 2013 •

The Necks Open (Northern Spy) often told that no detail is too small, and the tiny, precise details of Rennie’s songwriting brings to life stunningly clear scenarios, like a criminal weaving an intricate yet false alibi to seem credible. Wilderness is a loose concept album, with each title taking the name of a different animal, but the stories are wide-ranging tales of death, insanity, shapeshifting and fantasy. The pedalsteel inflected “Owls” is a Southern Gothic story of a man going crazy in a zoo-like, museum-like mansion; Brett sings, “The owls, they mock me and have stolen my pills.” Perhaps the most mind-bendingly creative song is “Caterpillars,” about a girl who is haunted by a persistent 60-cycle hum after being struck by lightning and who escapes to South America and is enveloped by insects into a cocoon, awaiting her metamorphosis. While the lyrics are

rightfully in the spotlight, the music features non-flashy arrangements, with one highlight being the gorgeous, ambling tabla and organ-enhanced “Gulls.” Wilderness is a testament to the possibilities of songwriting, which are rarely fully explored nowadays.


here is a lingering fear in this writer’s mind that current and future generations that have whole-heartedly embraced and outright demanded the convenience of instant gratification in media, communication and commerce are whittling away their own attention spans unknowingly. Seemingly as an alternative to music for audiences with such attention spans is the work of the Australian instrumental trio The Necks, which has been creating lengthy improvised pieces and marking out its own expansive musical personality for

more than 20 years. In terms of genres, despite the temptation to classify, it’s neither really jazz, nor ambient music, and despite being genre-defying, the use of patterns keeps it outside the free-improv realm. If pressed, this writer would call it “minimalist improv,” and disparate musical siblings are evoked, such as pianist Harold Budd, the spacious moments of NEU! and even the freelyflowing sound streams of Indian ragas. Over the 68 minutes of Open, there is a huge amount of restraint, avoiding any temptation to have obvious payoffs in the form of dramatic crests and swells. Instead, the gorgeous patience of Open allows ideas to unfurl in a contemplative, determined manner, but with a drifting lightness that is soothing and nourishing. Open is a sequence of placid moments, beginning with a monochord (one-stringed instrument) sounding like a hammered dulcimer and chimes, before simple bass patterns from Lloyd Swanton and Chris Abrahams’ wandering piano melodies enter. Drummer Tony Buck shows considerable self-control, with measured hi-hat taps, sporadic bass and snare drum beats, and gentle tom rumbles, and various textures emerge gingerly, like modulating organ chords and faint electronics. Technology has made it easier today for attention seekers to indulge their whims, but those who shout the loudest are rarely the most interesting; similarly, the reserved, beautiful persistence of Open is evidence that a mastery of subtlety can make for fascinating listening. • November 28-december 4, 2013 • The Pulse • 17

Shop where the big guy shops. Early. And don’t forget to buy for yourself, too. Used Books, CDs, Movies, & More

7734 Lee Highway • Mon-Thu 9am-9pm • Fri-Sat 9am-10pm • Sun 11am-7pm 18 • The Pulse • November 28-december 4, 2013 •




Who doesn't love a nice cold malted beverage? With this SturmHaus Stainless Steel Brauler & koozie (with handy carrying strap) you can give your loved ones the gift of beer. It's like pouring a smile down your throat. $45 Sturm HausBeer Market 423-648-1120

Artisan chocolates, decadent baked creations and the best hot chocolate mix you've ever had will make you the hottest Santa at this year's Christmas party. The Hot Chocolatier has a beautiful and insanely delicious assorment of sweets perfect for giving. 423.266.3066


Holiday gift ideas from around the city and around the world

One of this year's hottest toys is the Rainbow Loom. A toy loom that children can use to turn colorful rubber bands into bracelets, charms and other jewelry. Just look what Madonna started in the '80s. Be the hero at Christmas and pick one up today at Learning Express Toys. 423-643-8697 $16.29

Never stop moving with Fitbit Flex. This stylish device monitors steps taken, distance, calories burned and active minutes, so you can easily set daily activity goals. The wristband also tracks sleep quality and length to promote overall wellness. $99 Rock Creek Outfitters 888-707-6708

How about giving a subscrption to the Chattanooga Symphony & Opera? Yo-Yo Ma is coming next year!

If you need a gift for a rank beginner, a continuing student/learner, or an expert musician, lessons from the Chattanooga Folk School will put you in the best of graces with your favorite musician. Prices vary. Chattanooga Folk School 423-827-8906

For the hard-toshop-for person on your list a screenprint from Garuda Screenprinting will supply the necessary wow factor and show what great taste you have. Get it framed at Frameworks for that added special touch. Gauda Screenprinting • 423-6028568 Frameworks • 423-877-1391 • November 28-december 4, 2013 • The Pulse • 19

Yeah, yeah, gloves are about as interesting a gift as underwear, but SwypeGloves are compatible with smartphones so no more struggling to rip them off your hands when the phone rings. Seriously useful. $29.99 swypegear. com

Drinking tequila out of salt-rimmed glasses is so 2012. Take your friend's tequila game up a notch with these Himalayan Salt Tequila Glasses. Made from the highest quality, food-grade, Himalayan pink salt, the cup will give a salty twinge to your taste buds, but with a more nuanced flavor than ordinary table salt. $26.99

gifts for the

What better way to say "I love you" to your favorite chef than with a classic Japanese Shun Cutlery knife? Born of the ancient samurai-swordmaking tradition and hand finished for precision and beauty, a Shun knife is a wonder of balance and precision in the kitchen. Prices vary Mia Cucina 423-265-4474

techie and the foodie

We all have that friend who has always wanted their own personal drone to deliver their burritos and incite UFO enthusiasts in their neighborhood. Get them the DJI Phantom Aerial UAV Drone Quadcopter with an attached GoPro video camera that can be controlled with your smartphone. Get ready for aerial shots of Christmas dinner. $679.00

What could be better than smoking your own at home? With the handheld culinary game-changer "The Smoking Gun" from PolyScience you can smoke anything your imagination desires. Salads, chocolate, fruits and of course, meats, can get that wonderful smokey flavor without a massive production involving 55-gallon drums and days of preparation. $99.95

20 • The Pulse • November 28-december 4, 2013 •

Now you can make Uncle Jeremy's dream to play the theremin part from Zepplin's "Song Remains the Same" a reality with the micstand-mounted Burns "Zep Theremin." Adjustable pitch and sensitivity allows the player to create their own sounds or channel their inner geek and play along with the intro to the original "Star Trek." Earplugs for roommates not included. $83.00

“Edna Valley is a place where the grapes don’t have to rush. Gentle sunshine, rich soil, and cool ocean fog create the Central Coast’s extended growing season – a combination that gives the grapes longer time on the vine. That means more time to develop rich, complex flavors.”

The perfect stocking stuffers

1401 Williams Street • 423.521.4731 on 14th Street (behind Urban Stack) • November 28-december 4, 2013 • The Pulse • 21

on all mercHandise!

deep discoUnts on all clotHing! cHattanooga’s largest selection of cold weatHer gear learn to ski and snowboard on

VirtUal snow intro session Perfect for the beginner or intermediate skier. You test Virtual Snow, Virtual Snow tests you!

1HoUr $125

basic package Develop skills, build confidence on Virtual Snow with video drills

5 1-HoUr sessions $599.95

Plus bonus 1-hour session free and another bonus 1-hour session free when you return from your ski vacation! Caroline coaches Kaitlyn on the Virtual Ski Machine

tHe inVestment of a lifetime!



dodge city ski shop 7698 E. BrainErd road

423.892.6767• 22 • The Pulse • November 28-december 4, 2013 •

Make MMTC Spa & Salon gift cards the perfect present for everyone on your list! Buy four $30 gift cards at MMTC Spa & Salon and get one FREE. That’s $150 worth of services or product for only $120! We’re always a great value, and industry professionals ensure the quality of our students’ experience and yours. Don’t wait – start wrapping up your holiday shopping today!


Buy 4 $30 Gift Cards

& Get 1 FREE Offer expires 12/31/13. Not to be used in conjunction with other offers. Limit four gift card specials per customer.

6020 Shallowford Rd., Suite 100, Chattanooga, TN 37421 SPA: 423-954-1264 • SALON: 423-510-2759

It’s the season of giving Pamper everyone on your list with Gift Cards!


HUge blowoUt sale

gifts for


Ignis Glass Studio downtown offers the opportunity for customers to blow their own heirloom glass ornament. With the help of their artists, you choose colors, work the glass into shape and actually trap your own breath in glass. Only $40 per ornament. Call 423265-2565 to set up an appointment.

Take all of the stress and difficulty out of buying jewelry this season by visiting Plum Nelly. Their knowledgable staff can help you pick out the perfect gift from a wide variety of styles, designers and budgets. The Christy Klug Collection really caught our eye this year. Prices vary 423-266-0585

This little sprout is a clever twist on a common household item. The Arta Tea Leaf Infuser will bring a smile to any tea drinker. Fill the stainless steel basket with loose-leaf tea, secure the stemmed lid, and place the whole infuser into a cup or pot of hot water to steep. When finished steeping, pick the Infuser up by the stem and place on a saucer. Pair this with some tea from New Moon Gallery to complete the set. $14.99

The art teachers at Uptown Art walk customers through the process of creating a painting in twoand three-hour Art Classes. Each student starts with a blank canvas and ends with a finished painting. Prices vary uptownart. com/ chattanooga

Put these stainless steel Wine Pearls in the freezer for a few hours and they work just like soapstone cubes by chilling your drink of choice. These dainty pearls look much more attractive floating in your Cosmopolitan compared to a soapstone cube and they are the ideal size for chilling your wine—exactly what you want during the holidays when there'll be no shortage of wine, but rather a shortage of space in your refrigerator to chill it all. $30 It's winter, it's cold and a soft, comfy sweater can almost make these chilly temperatures bearable. Cabela's selection of sweaters (such as this Deer Lodge Hooded Sweater for $44.99), jackets and stylish warm weather clothing is large enough that you're sure to find a perfect gift and even something for yourself. • November 28-december 4, 2013 • The Pulse • 23



1120 HOUSTON STREET, SUITE 120 423-648-1120

Tired of giving the same old beerof-the-month subscription? How about a Sock Subscription that sends the subscriber a selection of unique, eyecatching socks delivered to their door, with all the comfort and cool that fresh socks can bring, $9 a month

gifts for

him This years obligatory bacon themed gift goes to J & D Foods for creating Bacon Shaving Cream. Let's just leave it at that. $15.25 A man with a tailored suit is magnetic. Charismatic. A tailored suit helps a man project an unmistakable aura. He will exude confidence, power and that he is the master of all he undertakes. Every man needs at least one tailored suit in his closet. He'll love you forever. Yacoubian Tailors 423-265-0187

Black Blood of the Earth is a fitting name for a coffee that contains 40 times more caffeine than the average cup. Beans are brewed using a coldvacuum extraction method, which allows for a surprisingly smooth taste. $55

For the guy that's looking for that Bradley Cooper sort of retro-ironic splash or if he just needs a cool pair of shades to keep the sun out of his hungover eyes, a pair of RayBan Aviators is just the thing. Prices vary ray-ban. com

The rough-and-tumble guy on your gift list wants to keep himself fresh, smooth, and smelling great. What better way than with The Man Can, a gallon-sized paint can (complete with its own can opener which doubles as a bottle opener!) stuffed with everyday essentials like fresh scented soap, shave gel, bay rum oil, hand butter, and an exfoliator. Made and assembled in 'Merica. $49.50

24 • The Pulse • November 28-december 4, 2013 •

support performers & local writers artists Written by the Pulse's own Janis Hashe, The Ex-Club Tong Pang is a "comic suspense" story, set in 1980s Los Angeles filled with retail workers, Korean nightclubs and an attractive but unreliable man who claims to be investigating a babybuying ring. $15.95

Chattanooga poet and musician Christian J. Collier wrote and produced “Between Beauty & Bedlam.” which fuses spoken word poetry and a mix of genres from hip-hop to ambient. $9.99 CD

Chattanooga natives The Unsatisfied are still an unwavering source for grinding, crunching and stomping rock and roll. Their latest release, "Songs the Bible Belt Taught Us" deserves a place in any music collection. $9.99

A consignment shop for the outdoors offering gently used and new gear. Four Bridges also proudly supports eight local vendors.

Local punk is alive and kicking. The Future Virgins new recording "Late Republic" showcases exactly why this band should be on your short list of local acts to hear. $10

Chattanooga resident and author John Ringo's latest novel, Under a Graveyard Sky follows the Smith family after an airborne “zombie” plague is released, bringing civilization to a grinding halt. They take to the Atlantic and discover a sea composed of the tears of survivors and a passion for bringing hope. And Marines. $25

315 N Market St - 423.531.0990 Monday-Saturday 10am-6pm /FourBridgesOutfitters

The Largest

Gunslinger Custom Jewelry trunk show thursday, dec. 5th

USED Steinway Piano Sale!

come and browse our collection of locally made jewelry, Pottery, art, glassware and much more...

now open late till 8 on thursday Gunslinger Custom Jewelry, Chickamauga, Ga


330 Frazier Ave | Mon-Fri: 10-6 Sat: 10-5 | 423.266.0585 |


Sunday Dec 8th by Appointment Only Mon. Dec 9 & Tues, Dec. 10 Open to the Public C H A T T A N O O G AC H A T T A N O O G A • (423) 6209 499-0600 Lee Hwy • 499-0600 Saturday 6209 Lee Hwy • (423) 6209 Lee •Hwy C l o•s e d499-060 6209 Lee Hwy 499-0600


USED Closed NEWSaturday NEW USED


www.summittpianos.c www.summittpianos.c Uprights Grand• 6209 Le NEW NEW NEW • 6209 Lee Hwy • 499-0600 USED •NEW C l o s e d S a t u r d a y Uprights USED USED Yamaha • Disklavier November 28-december 4, 2013 The Pulse Are On Sale! Grand Pianos • •NEW 25 NEW USED N USED USED Baby Grand AreNEW On Sale! NEW USED Yamaha Grand Pianos USEDBaby Disklavier USED NEW Yamaha Our entire Uprights World’s Great Our entire World’s Great Best Late Model YamahaUprights NEW Uprights Baby Grand Yamaha Yamaha Baby Grand Yamaha Uprights U USED NEW USED Disklavier GH1 selection of selection! selection of new Best 2001 selection! Player new upright Sellers! Sale! Disklavier Grand Disklavier Areupright OnGrand Sale! Grand Pianos Disklavier Are On Sale! Pianos Disklavier Are On Sale!A pianos are Selling Dual Drive Yamaha Uprights Baby Grand pianos Are On Disklavier Grand

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on sale! Choose

Saving Mobile Lives

1906 Gunbarrel Rd. 423-486-1668

(Next to GiGi’s Cupcakes)

M-F 10am-7pm Sat: 11a-4pm Closed Sunday

is looking for a few good


Can you craft a compelling 650-word short feature or profile—and a longer, in-depth feature worthy of our cover? If so, let’s talk. The Pulse is seeking a few good freelance writers to join our stable of news, feature, music, political, fashion and arts writers. We reward our writers with fair pay and a showcase for their skills. If you’ve got the “write stuff,” we want your voice in The Pulse. Email samples of your best clips along with a brief bio to:


rich bailey

Chasing the River New photography book is breathtaking aerial view


HOTOGRAPHER RON LOWERY’S OFFICE CHAIR IS REALLY small, but his workplace more than makes up for it. He shoots most of his photos from the tiny cockpit of Cloud Chaser, a grasshoppergreen twin-engine plane that is entirely open to the sky. No roof, doors or windows, just a small windscreen at the front, like a motorcycle. In October, he and his wife, graphic designer Sue Lowery, published a second book of his aerial photos, Tennessee River: Sparkling Gem of the South. The book follows the Tennessee River from its beginnings above Knoxville, down to Chattanooga, into Alabama and back up through Tennessee until it empties into the Ohio River. He captures some amazing vistas: Big Frog Mountain under a thin layer of snow; the flooded ridges (now thin peninsulas) that make Hiwassee Island look like an angelfish from above; Fontana Dam creating a deep lake in the heart of the Great Smoky Mountains; the strangely mixed up

26 • The Pulse • November 28-december 4, 2013 •

(but beautiful) land-and-water-scape the river creates as it floods back into its own stream tributaries and its old meanders like the lake it really is; cityscapes of Chattanooga and other cities along the river. “From ground level the river looks like a flat plain, but when you get up at my vantage point, you see all the beautiful curves,” he says. “When you blend that with the textures of the hills and trees and the light it forms a composition.” Ron took me up in Cloud Chaser for a spin above Chickamauga Lake a few weeks ago, so I could see the world as he sees it.

There is no door. I climb in, carefully placing my feet on the hard parts of the plane. A lot of it is lightweight canvas-y plastic, and I really don’t want to put my foot through it. And, by the way, he says, don’t touch that stick control or step on those pedals, please. Yeah, I have my own set of controls. Not to mention the self-control my fidgety self must exert now to avoid a casual bump that could send us plummeting into the lake, I imagine. Taking off from the Collegedale airport is like a turbocharged elevator ascent. With two powerful engines, Ron only needs about 100 feet to get the plane airborne. We cruise over the lake usually 200-500 feet above the surface but dip down about 50 feet above the water to race a ski boat. We win. I know I don’t see what his trained eye sees, but the view is breathtaking. Every fold of the terrain framing the


presents river, all the fractal-like intrusions of the water back into the land. Everything is so close, nothing between me and it except what I’m sitting on and the air that’s buffeting me. Like a dog next to an open car window, I can’t resist sticking my arms out both sides to feel the sky go by. Back on the ground, I ask how he can shoot and fly at the same time. “If you trim the plane out level it just flies,” he says. Ron and one of his sons built Cloud Chaser 13 years ago with this book of Tennessee River photos in mind. His plane came from a kit, based on an experimental prototype designed and built for National Geographic in the mid-'90s. Until then, Ron had made a living creating digitally manipulated aerial photos, things like an image of clouds shot from above, with an open manhole in their surface and a ladder popping up from below. He shot his own photos using another plane and sold the composed images for premium prices in the stock photo market. That phase of his career came to a halt with the advent of digi-

tal age, which meant photo newbies were selling digital photos for next to nothing and people were stealing his photos because downloading and copying had become easy. So he recast himself as a fine-art photographer and built Cloud Chaser to get even closer to his subject. “Every flight is an exploratory flight but it doesn’t turn into a photography flight until you see something exciting,” he says. As he flies, he is composing the shot in his imagination. A Proudly Presents… shot of Wilder Tower Proudly Presents… on the Chickamauga Battlefield shows how he works. “It was late one evening and I flew right beside the tower, maybe 100 feet above it,” he says. “People think I planted models on the tower because everything Saturday, worked outNovember so 16, Saturday, 2013 November 6:30pm to 16, 11:00pm 2013  6:30pm to 11:00pm perfectly. It took a lot Silver Ballroom, Sheraton Silver Read Ballroom, House Sheraton Read House of luck, but the lighting I control. I knew it was Gourmet  Dancing Seated  Wine Dinner  Dancing  Wine going to be right, right Seated Dinner Gourmet then. ICash knew Bar wherethe Live & SilentCash Auction  Live Semi-formal & SilentAttire Auction  Semi-formal Attire Bar  sun was going to be. I Special Honorees DECEMBER include Special Mayor Legacy Andy Honorees include & JuliaMayor Sanford. Andy & Julia22, Sanford. 20, 7:30 PMBerke • DECEMBER 21, 2:00 PM •Berke DECEMBER 2:00 PM knew whichLegacy side I needHayes Concert Hall • UTC Fine Arts CenterBox ed to be on to shoot the For more information: For more information: picture.” Office: 423-425-4269 • Email Anna VanCura: Email Anna VanCura: He only shot six or For more information: eight exposures. To make a reservation: To make reservation: “People think I shoot hundreds,(423) but I 821-2055 FAX: (423) Tickets On Sale: DECEMBER 2nd (423)821-2156 821-2055 FAX: (423) 821-2156 don’t,” he says. “I hate editing. I edit in the camera. Soon as I see it in the viewHardaway Design YOUTH & FAMILY YOUTH & FAMILY DEVELOPMENT DEVELOPMENT www.hardawaydesig finder I know I got it.”

I know I don’t see what his trained eye sees, but the view is breathtaking. Every fold of the terrain framing the river, all the fractal-like intrusions of the water back into the land.”

The The

UTCRACKER N NUTCRACKER • November 28-december 4, 2013 • The Pulse • 27

OPEN NOW! Nightly from 6-9 pm at Rock City

Arts & Entertainment

· Open Christmas Night · Closed Christmas Eve ·

Stuffing Strut 2013 Run/ Walk Thanksgiving 8 a.m. Chester Frost Park, 2318 Gold Point Cir N. (423) 842-0177 22nd Annual SportsBarn Turkey Trot 8 a.m. Sports Barn East, 6148 Lee Hwy. (423) 265-4397, Keyz Brown improvisational jazz concert 4 p.m. Ari’s Harbor Light, 9718 Hixson Pk. (423) 843-2800, “Mystery of the Redneck Italian Wedding” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839,

friday 11.29


D.L. Hughley

22nd Annual UTC Trumpet Ensemble SportsBarn Turkey Trot

THUrsday 11.28

for more info call 706.820.2531


Holiday Open House 10 a.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5035, Parents Day Out Drop-n-Shop 11 a.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” 2:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, Gifts That Give Hope Alternative Gift Fair

28 • The Pulse • November 28-december 4, 2013 •

5 p.m. Coolidge Park, 200 River St. (423) 643-6056, Annual Lighted Boat Parade 7 p.m. Coolidge Park & The TN River, 1 River St. (423) 643-6056 “Mystery of the Nightmare Office Party” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, Love Birds - Date Night 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, "Playhouse Legends 2013" 7:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, D.L. Hughley 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, Kenny Smith 9 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839,

saturday 11.30 Festival of Trees Chattanooga 10 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1100 Carter St. (423) 622-7360, “2013 Sanders Family Christmas” 10:30 a.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, Educational Animal Presentations for Kids 11 a.m. Chattanooga Arboretum & Nature Center, 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160, Parents Day Out Drop-n-Shop 11 a.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” 2:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, Harrison Bay Fall Color Canoe Floats 3 p.m. Wolftever Boat Ramp, 8002 Hwy 58. (423) 344-6214, “Mystery of Flight 138” 5 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, North Pole Limited: Holiday Train Ride on the Tennessee Valley Railroad 5:30 p.m. Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum, 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-8028, Swirly Cross 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, D. L. Hughley 7 and 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, “Suite Surrender”

7:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, “Mystery of the Facebook Fugitive” 7:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, “A Song for the Children:” Vince Gill, Dale Ann Bradley, benefiting Children’s Advocacy Center 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5156, “Ryan Oyer’s Extravaganza:” Ryan Oyer, Danimal Pinson, Tiffany Taylor, Amber Fults, Jessica Nunn, Gabriel Newell, Mia Treadwell, By Order of the Queen 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, Kenny Smith 9 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839,

sunday 12.01 Chattanooga Zoo 12 Days of Christmas Campaign for the Animals 9 a.m. Chattanooga Zoo, 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1319, The Barn Nursery Christmas Open House 10 a.m. The Barn Nursery, 1801 East 24th St. Plc. (423) 698-2276,

Arts & Entertainment

EVENTS CALENDAR John Waters’ “I Am Divine” screening

Kenny Smith

423.821.2544 Festival of Trees Chattanooga Noon. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1100 Carter St. (423) 622-7360, “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” 2:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, Spirit of Christmas Parade and Tree Lighting 3 p.m. Spirit of Christmas Route, Little Debbie Pkwy & Apison Pk. (423) 238-7777 North Pole Limited: Holiday Train Ride on the Tennessee Valley Railroad 5:45 p.m. Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum, 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-8028, Noah’s Ark 6 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, D.L. Hughley 7 p. m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233,

monday 12.02 Chattanooga Zoo 12 Days of Christmas Campaign for the Animals 9 a.m. Chattanooga Zoo, 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1319, Lego Clubs for Kids at the Library 5 p.m. Bicentennial Library

Downtown, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310, Three Christmas Trees 5:30 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 3212317, John Waters’ “I Am Divine” screening 9 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave.

tuesday 12.03 Chattanooga Zoo 12 Days of Christmas Campaign for the Animals 9 a.m. Chattanooga Zoo, 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1319, “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” 11:15 a.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, “Suite Surrender” 2:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, Code & Creativity 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, Snowmen 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, “The Shenanigans”improv theatre 7:30 p.m. Lee University, 1120 N. Ocoee St. Cleveland. (423) 614-8343.

wednesday 12.04 Chattanooga Zoo 12 Days of Christmas Campaign for the Animals 9 a.m. Chattanooga Zoo, 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1319, 2013 Sanders Family Christmas 11 a.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, Fall Trees 2 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, Holiday Concert: Music & English Depts. 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga State, Humanities Theatre, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3383.

ongoing “Meditations: New Work by Scott Hillard & Steve Olszewski” 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Mon-Sat, 1 - 5 p.m. Sun. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, “Work by John Stone” 11 a.m. - 5 p.m. Tues.- Sat. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, “Tour d’Art” 11 a.m. - 6 p.m., Mon-Sat, 1 - 5 p.m. Sun. In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214, “Fine Art Landscapes” Reflections Gallery, 6922 Lee Hwy. (423) 892-3072, “Miki Boni” 11 a.m, - 7 p.m. Mon-Sat Graffiti: A Hill City Art Joint, 505 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 400-9797, Rock City Raptors 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. Fri-Sat, 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn, Ga. Rock City’s Enchanted Garden of Lights Mon-Fri 6 p.m. - 9 p.m. Rock City Gardens, 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd. (706) 820-2531, Holidays Under the Peaks Daily. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 2620695, Gingerbread House Workshops Daily. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738. Chattanooga Ghost Tours 9 p.m. nightly. The Little Curiosity Shoppe, 138 Market St. (423) 821-7125,

Map these locations on Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@


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OPEN THRU NOV 30 NEW: Climbing Tower & ZIP Ride! COMING SOON!

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• Holiday Tour • Falling Snow • • Live Music • Carriage Rides • • November 28-december 4, 2013 • The Pulse • 29


john devore

The Sailor T Returns to the Sea

HIS YEAR’S POTENTIAL OSCAR CONTENDERS seem to have a certain hopelessness about them. “Gravity” pits Saundra Bullock against the vacuum of space. “12 Years a Slave” outlines the horrors and desperation of slavery. The Academy values such stories—Best Picture is almost always an inward look at the nature of man, with tragedies both external and intrinsic.

Robert Redford superb in solo ‘All Is Lost’

      


 

30 • The Pulse • November 28-december 4, 2013 •

This month, Robert Redford explores both as the solitary cast member in a film about being lost at sea, fighting against the elements in a damaged yacht somewhere in the Indian Ocean. “All is Lost” is impeccably acted, captivating, and tragic. It’s a compelling vehicle for one of the great living American actors, told as simply as possible. Sparse doesn’t begin to describe the screenplay, and yet the story is powerfully told and emotionally resonant.

The tale of man facing his own mortality is nothing new, but it’s a type of story so rich, so fascinating, that each retelling has the opportunity to shed new light on an old theme. “All is Lost” is direct and unflinching, so as to draw the audience into the film as if we were a part of the action ourselves. The film begins with a short opening monologue, where an unnamed man is apologizing and explaining to someone about the events of the past eight days. Beyond one or two words here and there, it is the last time the character speaks. The film is told through the sound of wind and wave, the creak of the bow against the elements, and an ominous thundering in the distance. Our Man awakens alone on his boat, far from land in the Indian Ocean, to find his vessel is taking on water. A metal shipping crate has fallen from a passing

  

German-American BrewPub

224 Frazier Ave •

boat and crashed through the hull of the yacht. The water damages the emergency radio, and although the man is able to fix the damage, he is unable hear the warning of an impending storm. The man steers directly into its path, dooming the boat to a watery grave. The scenes during the storm are especially captivating. We become aware of just how small the boat is in comparison to the swells of the ocean during the squall. Redford’s character is attempting to guide a few pieces of fiberglass and wood through roving mountains of salt water, which crash and cascade around him, creating deadly peaks and valleys ever changing with the wind. Redford’s character is a seasoned sailor, one that does everything right and follows every protocol. He is not in a bad situation due to negligence or inexperience. And yet, despite his best efforts, the sea mocks him. Man against the elements ultimately loses, even when the best of plans are laid. We watch as the character calmly moves from one situation to another, improvising and surviving only to have yet another catastrophe befall him. We gradually forget that we are watching Robert Redford, as the movie star vanishes and is replaced by a man we

learn to understand and hope for. “All is Lost” is only Redford’s second film since 2007—unlike other great actors like Robert De Niro, Redford is cautious about the roles he chooses. Given his resume, he’s certainly earned that right. Suffice it to say, any film that Redford puts his name to is likely worth a look (this bodes well for the new “Captain America” film coming in January). “All is Lost” shows how much range the veteran actor has and exactly what he brings to the table. There may be those that find the film dull. I will never understand those people. The ability to carry a film for nearly two hours without speaking is true talent indeed. There is more than enough drama to move the pace along, and the framing of the story is very much due to the direction by J.C. Chandor. This film is his second full-length feature, the first being the highly underrated “Margin Call.” Chandor’s faith in his actor as well as his eye for pacing make the film better than it might have been in the hands of someone else. Between Chandor and “12 Years and Slave” director Steve McQueen, it is obvious there is a new generation of filmmakers poised to take the reins from the greats of the past. There are good things coming soon.

Featured: Rooster Schnitzel with Bier Cabbage and Spaetzel

UPCOMING EVENTS December 5 @ 7pm Beer Tasting w/ Chattanooga Brewing December 14 @ 7pm Tacky Sweater Party and Beard Competition December 19 @ 7pm Beer Tasting w/ Jackalope December 23 @ 7pm Oskar Blues Tap Takeover

We gradually forget that we are watching Robert Redford, as the movie star vanishes and is replaced by a man we learn to understand and hope for.” • November 28-december 4, 2013 • The Pulse • 31

CONFUSED ABOUT THE NEW HEALTH CARE LAW? WE’RE HERE TO HELP. Just come to one of our meetings. There are no obligations. We’ll answer all your questions and walk you through how to find a plan on the Health Insurance Marketplace that’s right for you. Plus, we’ll give you tips on how you might be able to get cost savings that could significantly lower your monthly payment.

ATTEND A COMMUNITY MEETING NOV 13, DEC 4 & DEC 13 10 a.m. - Hilton Garden Inn Hamilton Place 2343 Shallowford Village Dr. Chattanooga, TN 37421 NOV 23, DEC 19 & JAN 21 10 a.m. - The Chattanooga Choo Choo The Finley Lecture Hall 1400 Market St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 JAN 31 10 a.m. - Brainerd Crossroads BX 4011 Austin St. Chattanooga, TN 37411

To find more community meetings in your area, visit

©BlueCross BlueShield of Tennessee, Inc., an Independent Licensee of the BlueCross BlueShield Association. BlueCross BlueShield of Tennessee is a Qualified Health Plan issuer in the Health Insurance Marketplace.

The Pulse • November 28-december 4, 2013 32 •BCBS4691_193847_CM_Mrktplc_ChattanoogaPulse_11.07.13.indd • 1 11/1/13

3:54 PM


© 2013 SketchCrowd, LLC /

“Sorry, Pepe. The studio will not pay for another sexual harassment case.” • November 28-december 4, 2013 • The Pulse • 33

30th Annual Holiday Gift Wrap


wrapped Bring your gift to the Holiday Gift Wrap! All proceeds benefit

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34 • The Pulse • November 28-december 4, 2013 •

Spirits Within

mike dobbs

In the Spirit of Pumpkin Pie Our man on the barstool gets all thankful at Marco’s


NLESS YOU’VE BEEN LIVING IN AN UNDERWATER CAVE for the last four weeks, you’re very aware that Thanksgiving is upon us. It’s not because of the grocery store ads or Food Network recipe shows, either. I’m talking Black Friday. It’s become its own holiday— and people that aren’t aware of the Internet are freezing their collective tootsies off standing in line for inexpensive electronics. But that’s not me. I prefer the feast of roast beast and mounds of desserts. Turkey and dressing and green bean casserole and that weird green gelatin dessert with the fruit in it that Aunt Griselda makes every darn year are great. However, I usually plan ahead when filling the plate and save room for the most grand gourd concoction of the season: pumpkin pie. By the time you read this, your belly is already full and you’re probably staring at a pile of leftovers. But I can’t wait that long right now, and I’m not much of a baker. I found myself talking with Kevin at Marco’s in North Chattanooga Saturday afternoon and he proposed an interesting concept. Behind the bar was a long line of pretty blue bottles of Pinnacle Vodka and among the vast ar-

ray of flavors was (ta-da!) Pumpkin Pie. Pinnacle Vodka has been made in France since 2002 from the finest wheat grains from the Brie region and then sent over to us where it’s distributed to thirsty flavor lovers. Speaking of flavors, they have 30 of them. And they’ve thought of everything. This multiple-award-winning sprit comes in everything from Blueberry to Cotton Candy. (Yes, I said “Cotton Candy.”) Since 2010, Pinnacle has been ranked the #1 Premium Spirit worldwide. It’s distilled five times! That makes this 70-proof beverage extremely pure, and smooth enough to stand on its own if you’re not the type for mixers. Now, Kevin’s wheels went to spinning and he spun out a Pumpkin Pie Martini with Pinnacle, half & half and Captain

Behind the bar was a long line of pretty blue bottles of Pinnacle Vodka and among the vast array of flavors was (tada!) Pumpkin Pie.”

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Morgan Spiced Rum and then sprinkled cinnamon dust on top. “Whadda ya mean its cold outside?” As if by magic, an empty glass is all that remained after I got a whiff of that one. I wonder if he can mix this up by the gallon. Just to add measure, Kevin shook up a straight Pumpkin Pie with ice and it does indeed stand on its own. We also gave it a try with coffee and whipped cream… I‘m tellin ya folks, you can’t really go wrong with this one. Before I could curl up for a long, happy nap, Kevin had another trick up his sleeve that he wanted to demonstrate. Pinnacle “Whipped” is the brand’s notso-secret weapon. It is their best-selling flavor by a country mile and has won all kinds of awards. This vanilla-andcream is light and sweet, just like the real whipped cream that tops every dessert on the table this Thursday. Before the “Guy Police” have a chance to drop by and check my Man Card, Kevin went Labowski. “Careful, man, there’s a beverage here!” He created a White Russian using the Whipped to show that with it, you only need the actual cream in order to make it…white. The Pinnacle Whipped carries the flavor that well. With 30 flavors, the possibilities are nearly limitless. has a 71-page recipe book you can download to get started. You can look it up on the Internet—if you’re not camping out for Black Friday.

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@athenschatt • November 28-december 4, 2013 • The Pulse • 35

Free Will Astrology Whole Pies & By-The-Slice Mini & Monster Calzones Meaty & Veggie Lasagna Garden Salads 40+ Toppings 40+ Beers Fine Wines Local Beef & Ground Sausage Local Produce Dough Made Fresh Daily Whole Wheat Dough Downtown 4th & Broad St 266-5874 Hixson 5504 Hixson Pike 847-3700 Ooltewah 9453 Bradmore Ln 602-7499 East Brainerd 1414 Jenkins Road 855-4104 Cleveland 2382 N. Ocoee St 476-9464 Voted Chattanooga’s Best Pizza!

rob brezsny

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Touted as a prime source of “kick-@ss spirituality,” author Danielle LaPorte has advice that’s good for you to hear. “You will always be too much of something for someone,” she says, “too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy.” But that’s exactly as it should be, she adds. It would be a mistake to “round out your edges,” because then you would “lose your edge.” And I’m here to tell you that you need all of your edge right now, Sagittarius. It’s time to ignore people’s mediocre expectations and push past their limits. To be true to yourself, you will probably have to be too much of something for several someones. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Going into my spiritual mentoring session with the priestess, I had the intention of discovering truths about myself I didn’t know before. That meant stirring up revelations about my ignorance as well as my potentials. I wanted assistance in facing my flaws as well as in tapping into my dormant powers. It worked. Her guidance was a potent catalyst. I was able to shed the debilitating nonsense stories I’d been telling myself about who I am. I awakened strengths that had been asleep. What I wish for you, Capricorn—indeed, what I predict for you—is a comparable experience. To expedite matters, go out in search of a person, adventure, or breakthrough that can help provide you with the kind of prod I received. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I bet people will be gossiping about you more than usual. Is there anything you can do to ensure that it’s mostly benevolent gossip? Yes, there is. First, make sure that when you gossip about others, you are unfailingly positive in your comments. If you don’t have anything good to say about someone, don’t say it. Second, be on your best behavior. Communicate clearly and don’t even think about taking unethical shortcuts. Finally, contribute more inspirational energy than usual to every group you’re part of. Be an effervescent team player. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Maybe your ego isn’t big enough. I’m serious. Is it possible that you could benefit from being more proud of yourself? Would it be healthy for

36 • The Pulse • November 28-december 4, 2013 •

Raitt has called him a “tall drink of bacon.” The sound he makes with his voice is that lush and tasty. Can you guess his astrological sign? It’s Taurus, of course. I’m naming him your patron saint this week because you yourself are as close as you have ever come to being a tall drink of bacon.

you to give yourself more credit for the struggles you have weathered and the skills you have mastered and the beauty you have managed to forge out of the chaotic raw materials that life has given you? I’ve got a good feeling about this, Pisces. I can imagine you summoning the playful courage you will need to express more confidence. I can even picture you beginning to fantasize about embarking on certain stirring adventures you’ve never believed you were strong enough to try before now. ARIES (March 21-April 19): Thinking inside the box will be a crime against your nature in the coming weeks. The last place you want to be is in a pigeonhole. I advise you to stay far away from tight squeezes, claustrophobic “sanctuaries,” and “convenient” confinements. If you’re in a one-size-fits-all situation, you simply won’t be able to access your highest intelligence. So then where should you be? I am rooting for you to wander into the wild frontiers where unsanctioned wonders and marvels await you. I’d love for you to find virgin terrain and uncharted territories where the boring old rules don’t apply. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Mike Finnigan is a veteran keyboardist and blues vocalist who has toured with more than 20 major acts, including Jimi Hendrix, Etta James, Leonard Cohen, and Los Lonely Boys. There’s a primal quality to his singing. It’s gritty and fluid and tempestuous, almost feral at times. I understand perfectly why Bonnie

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): French painter Henri Matisse thought highly of his own work. He tended to ignore critics because he didn’t think they understood his art well enough to produce intelligent critiques. There was one person whose opinion he was willing to heed, though; a single colleague who he said had earned to right to evaluate and assess his art: Pablo Picasso. I encourage you, Gemini, to come up with your own short list of people whose judgment you totally trust and respect. It’s a good time to seek out their feedback on how you’re doing. CANCER (June 21-July 22): How is it possible that you have come so far and worked so diligently only to be resigned now to hanging out in limbo, waiting around for the lucky break that may or may not ever arrive? I’m here today to escort you out of this infernal place. If you resist, my assignment is to drag you out. Why am I so adamant? Because I am sure it’s a mistake for you to be passive and hope for the best. You need to resume working diligently, focused for now on what’s right in front of you without worrying too much about the big picture. In my opinion, that approach will lead you to unforeseen help—and a clarification of the big picture. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Your levels of personal magic are high. The radiance beaming out of your eyes is extra sparkly. There’s an artistry to the way you are expressing yourself. Without even trying, you’re exuding natural charisma and animal magnetism. In light of all these advantages, I suspect you will have an elevated capacity for both giving and receiving pleasure. In fact, I predict that your ability to feel really good and make other people feel really good will be at a peak. I hereby designate this the Week of Supreme Bliss. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The BBC reported on an expert who combs

Switzerland’s Risoud Forest to find the spruce trees whose wood can be made into the highest quality violins. After years of experience, Lorenzo Pellegrini knows which few trees will produce instruments with the most resonant tones. They grow slowly and have few knots. They need to have had enough water to grow strong, but not so much water that they’re mushy. Your task in the coming weeks, Virgo, has a certain resemblance to the master tree-picker’s work. It’s time for you to start selecting and gathering the raw materials you will use to craft your own lyrical story in 2014. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Here’s the bad news: For all of us, including you, there is a gap between our intentions and our actual effects. Here’s the good news: Now is your special time to narrow that gap. More bad news: All of us, you included, are periodically guilty of sending out mixed messages. We confuse people with our ambivalence; what we say is sometimes different from what we feel. More good news: Now is your special time to reduce your mixed messages to as close to zero as possible. One more taste of bad news: Like all of us, you are a bit hypocritical. You engage in behavior that you criticize in others. You don’t practice what you preach. One last piece of good news: Now is your special time to work on being forthright, genuine, and consistent. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “I am very fond of strawberries and cream,” said author Dale Carnegie, “but I have found that for some strange reason, fish prefer worms. So when I went fishing, I didn’t think about what I wanted. I thought about what they wanted. I didn’t bait the hook with strawberries and cream. Rather, I dangled a worm or grasshopper in front of the fish.” That’s a good teaching story for you, Scorpio. In order to get your desires fulfilled by the people who have the power to do that, you should give them what they actually long for—not what you long for, nor what you wish they would long for. This is always true, of course, but it’s especially applicable to what’s going on in your life right now. Homework: What part of you is too tame? How can you inspire it to seek wilder ways of knowing? Write

Jonesin’ Crossword

matt jones

“Berry Good”--be an agent of change.

Across 1 Composer with a clavier 5 “Grumpy Old Men” actor Davis 10 Be choosy 13 ___ & the Bunnymen 14 Dessert dipped in coffee 16 Aunt, in Avila 17 What a forceful noblewoman often does? 20 Genre for Jay-Z 21 “Magnum, P.I.” star 22 SSW, e.g. 24 Having great balance? 28 Gets on Halloween 29 Grammy winner for “Shepherd Moons” 31 Noodle or beach ball 33 Command for a sheep’s fleece to grow bigger? 35 Toy magnate Schwarz 38 Attach, as string to a package

39 Cpl. or sgt. 40 Hatch of politics 42 Normal: abbr. 43 Five knit in one day, perhaps? 46 Permit holder, often 47 Actress Fisher of Season 4 of “Arrested Development” 48 Surgery suffix 51 “Hey, what’s the big ___?” 53 Cool, daddy-o 54 Prickly bush 56 “Bang and Blame” band 58 “Yup, that’s the sound a stream makes”? 64 Pick-up capacity? 65 E.B. White output 66 Haleakala’s island 67 Players who only bat, briefly 68 Monica that raised a racket 69 Bank features Down

1 Casino transaction 2 “___ du lieber!” 3 Bright lipstick choice 4 Jorge’s hi 5 Detective Adrian Monk’s condition 6 Retiring 7 The Red October, e.g. 8 401(k) relatives 9 Che Guevara’s real first name 10 “None of the above” relative 11 King or queen 12 Robot’s jobs 15 Bob Ross’s art medium 18 Tax mo. 19 Kill 22 Moneys owed 23 Nunavut native 25 Twitter’s was on November 7th, 2013 26 “Roseanne” surname 27 Start of some search engine queries 30 George Harrison’s

“All Those Years ___” 32 Plundered 34 Cast often seen together 35 Newbs 36 Ring bearer’s path 37 Ready to pour 41 A grand slam gets four 44 Of a noticeably smaller amount 45 Before, to Donne 46 Bausch & ___ 48 Went out 49 Teen infatuation 50 Ball field covers 52 Exist 55 Cushiness 57 Stone on the big screen 59 ___ pal 60 “Marble” bread 61 Letter before tee 62 ___ Lock (computer key) 63 Antiquated affirmative

Copyright © 2013 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0651 • November 28-december 4, 2013 • The Pulse • 37

On the Beat

alex teach

That Thin Blue Line Sticker Life on the mean streets with Officer Alex

Editor's Note: Alex Teach is on holiday this week, so we went to the vault to bring you one of his best past columns.

I was pushing a car down the middle of a busy thoroughfare one afternoon when a passing car slowed to my pace and made the clear indication they had a question to ask. I was sure they were going to offer to help, but that’s probably only because I really needed it. Instead, a woman who didn’t entirely not resemble Gene Simmons asked “Hey, can you tell me where I could git one of those ‘blue line’ stickers folks put on their cars? I really been wantin’ one. I’m goin’ to Daytona next week.” I cocked my head slightly as I continued pushing the car (never, ever waste momentum in these circumstances; trust me) and all I could think to say was “Try the police academy. You’d love it. Isn’t this great?” She returned my look of puzzlement, and sped off. (Good luck with her, Florida.) “Them ‘blue line’ stickers...” They mean something, you know. Most are aware it’s obviously in support of cops and would even correctly guess, if pressed, that it’s about the line between “order and chaos”. Let me take it a bit deeper, though: The blue itself represents the officer and what it takes to face

The line? That’s what cops protect: The barrier between unrest and a civilized society, between order and chaos. Between respect for decency and utter lawlessness."

insurmountable odds. The black background isn’t a coincidence or cool delineator, either; it was designed as a constant reminder of our fallen brother and sister officers. The line? That’s what cops protect: The barrier between unrest and a civilized society, between order and chaos. Between respect for decency and utter lawlessness. Put together, they symbolize the camaraderie law enforcement officers all share…the brotherhood. That’s why when others see it as

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“something to get out of a ticket”, not only are they shallow and ignorant, they’re wrong. The stickers are generally sold only to law enforcement and to those in their immediate families because they’re the ones in it. They’re the ones who dread certain phone calls or knocks at the door. Support is an FOP sticker. The blue line sticker— that’s for those that live it. For what it’s worth, it also doesn’t mean the blue lights behind you will suddenly shut off once the sticker’s seen. It means you’re going to get asked about it when the guy or girl in blue is standing next to you with a citation book in hand, and when you say “No, no reason, I just love cops!”, they’ll know the deal and be a little more pissed off than they were seconds ago. You have one because you’re a cop, or are married to one or raised one. And if you ARE married to one or were raised in the same house (or by at least one of the same parents), it’s still not a “get out of court free” pass. I have one, and it’s put in an obscure place only cops would notice in a black-on-black place. It’s there to let them know that the person driving is 80 percent likely to be carrying a duty weapon, and it starts the conversation. That’s what it means, and that’s why they’re not handed out like

Prozac. There are rip-offs though, and those ARE handed out freely. And who better to capitalize on another’s great idea than the Nozzleheads? In their inability to resist public support since they do nothing to really piss people off (aside from occasional murder and pornography charges), they came up with “Thin Red Line” stickers. I love it. The “Thin Red Line” actually refers to a phrase a journalist used to describe a thin line of British soldiers about to defend against a much larger Russian force at the Battle of Balaclava in 1854. Nothing stood between the charging Russian soldiers and the British regiment’s base but a “thin red streak tipped with a line of steel.” So, the firemen managed to turn a phrase about a thinly spread military unit holding firm against attack into something about…putting out fires and posing in calendars, I guess. This amuses me, but it infuriated the EMS folks who scrambled to get their own sticker too, but cops already had blue, and when they went for orange (like the lines on their trucks), they found bounty hunters had taken orange. (Seriously.) Silver seemed cool, but jailers had taken that one. (Again, seriously.) No one wanted white though, so they also had their color.


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38 • The Pulse • November 28-december 4, 2013 •

Park rangers took green, eventually, and I recently learned that security officers and loss prevention officers took “yellow”. (I believe there is no need for smartass comment here; what more could I say?) While I respect every profession listed above (what would the world be without Dog the Bounty Hunter and private store dicks at Belk?), I think they didn’t so much dilute a sign of brotherhood as kind of make themselves look like assholes, despite their good intentions. That’s what the sticker means, folks. So if you have to ask for one—you shouldn’t get it. Cops would really just prefer you smile and wave, or at least, help push that damn car off the road.

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at www.

CheCk out the Cat in the hat • November 28-december 4, 2013 • The Pulse • 39

The Pulse 10.48 » November 28, 2013  

Chattanooga's Weekly Alternative.

The Pulse 10.48 » November 28, 2013  

Chattanooga's Weekly Alternative.