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October 17-23

Vol. 10 • No. 42


heavy metal the art of the blacksmith

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Pickin' Up The Pieces What a long strange trip it's been for the Folk School of Chattanooga

MUSIC band with a 1000 faces SCREEN fighting gravity style knitting time


Contributing Editor Janis Hashe Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny • John DeVore Mike Dobbs • Janis Hashe • Marc T. Michael Carson O'Shoney • Ernie Paik • Gary Poole Chelsea Sokol • Alex Teach Editorial Interns Keith King • Chelsea Sokol Art Director Gary Poole Photographers Josh Lang, Luke Padgett Cartoonists & Illustrators Tom Tomorrow Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull


Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Julie Brown Rick Leavell • Leif Sawyer • Stacey Tyler Tara Viland • Jerry Ware • Candice York


Offices 1305 Carter St., Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Website Email Calendar THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. © 2013 Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II

Cover Story



Managing Editor Mike McJunkin





D TS e ER OS uls N P AI GH he BR N in T O SI ek e IS M tW



By Carson O’Shoney The Folk School— Chattanooga’s first and only—has been a part of the community for more than three years. Its beginnings reach back to a store called Mountain Music on Dayton Boulevard. It was there that the first classes began, with three instructors...

Feature Stories

Everything Else


By Marc T. Michael The story begins, as so many do, with a renowned belly dancer approaching her manager (brother to one of the five greatest drummers of all time) about producing an album.


By Rich Bailey Smelting ore into metal, then shaping it into useful things by heating it in a forge and hammering it on an anvil was the killer app of the ancient world, enshrined in every culture’s mythology.


4 5 7 12 14 15 21 22 27 28 29 30


By John DeVore Alfonso Cuarón's latest film may be something of a defining film in 2013. “Gravity” marries tension and science realism in a way that hasn’t been seen since 1968.

Grace Frank Group: Your Downtown Home Guide


Invest Wisely

Buy Smart

When Selling

It’s Your Future

Best Values


Join Grace at the Roof Top Hop Saturday 4 to 8 pm at the Tallan Building Go to for details • october 17-23, 2013 • The Pulse • 3




Leo Will Wreck It Popular culture’s influence on art is an ongoing relationship. From Rockwell’s snapshots of American culture in The Saturday Evening Post, to Warhol’s artistic riffs on celebrity and advertisements, there has always been a direct connection between the arteries of art and popular culture. Dr. Leo Mazow has his finger on this pulse. The University of Arkansas Associate Professor of Art History will be speaking at the Hunter Museum on Thursday, Oct. 17 at 6 p.m. Mazow will be weaving together the threads of popular culture throughout history, using famous works on display in the Hunter collection. Thomas Hart Benton and George Inness


are both artists that redefined their field. Benton waved the banner of American Regionalism, and Inness has been considered the father of American landscape painting. These artists painted during two different times in American history and because of this were influenced by different forces of culture. Mazow will touch on both of these artists’ work (including Benton’s “The Wreck of Ole ’97”) and bring to light the influence the times of the time had on them, as well as on many other artists on display at the Hunter. Mazow will use a variety of music to punctuate his comments as well as insights from his recent award-winning book “Thomas Hart Benton and the American Sound”. For more information about this event (and other installments of the Art Wise series), visit — Keith King

oktoberfest at the market

Time For A Stein “And uh-one, and uh-two…” Who can resist a good polka? And combined with a stein of bier and the festive presence of every German expat within miles? It’s the best party of the fall—and it’s the expanded, two-day Oktoberfest coming this weekend at the Chattanooga Market. Although this is now the 12th year of the celebration, it’s the first year for the Saturday Polka Party, which begins at 5 p.m. and lasts until 8 p.m. and will feature dinner offerings, live music, and the Miss/Mr. Oktoberfest pageant and contest. Attend the party in full German regalia and report to the stage at 6 p.m. to be considered for the crown, which will be determined by audience reception (aka screaming for your favorites). “Prizes will be awarded,” according to the Market folks. The entire two-day German-a-thon is sponsored by Village Volkswagen of Chattanooga, and you’ll find brats and other cuisine, a bier garten with 99 local and season craft brews, the Wurstbrats Oompah band (along with other German music), a Scenic City Volks Folks car show, and of course—polka performances. Admission and parking are, as always, free. Saturday 7 - 8 a.m.: 5K Ram Run Registration and start time 10 a.m.:  Oktoberfest opens Volks Folks Cruise-in Noon - 1 p.m.: EPB stage dance entertainment 1:30 - 4:30 p.m.: Glen Morrison, Anoop Desai, Kat Graham, Mike Posner

4 • The Pulse • october 17-23, 2013 •

1 - 4 p.m.: German music/EPB Stage 5-8 p.m.: Polka Party Sunday 11 a.m.: Oktoberfest opens 11 a.m. - 4 p.m.: Live German music on two stages throughout the entire day The full schedule is available online at —Staff



pulse » PICKS

• A curated weekly selection of picks from the Chattanooga Live and Arts & Entertainment calendars by Pulse staffers.





Junior Brown

Boo in the Zoo

• The master of the “guitsteel” double-necked guitar, this American original is headlining a very special small venue performance at Barking Legs. Never duplicated, always appreciated. 7:30 p.m. • Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347,

• Some of your most loveable cartoon characters, trick-or-treat stations, costume contests, pony rides, games, inflatables, Stormtroopers, and more. Yes, we said Stormtroopers. 5:30 p.m. • Chattanooga Zoo, 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 503-3888,



Master Hypnotist Gary Conrad

Milele Roots, Rick Rushing and the Blues Strangers

• So, you think hypnotism is just a gimmick, eh? Well then, just trot your skeptical self on down to the Comedy Catch this weekend and see if you can resist the mind-altering methods of the Master himself. 7:30 p.m. • The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233,

• It’s a musical combination that works better than peanut butter and bourbon: the reggae rock of Milele Roots and the roots rock of Rick Rushing and the Blues Strangers combine for one hot evening you won’t want to miss. 9 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400,

Eat. Drink. Mingle. Go Green. Hop to five amazing rooftop parties this Saturday evening and enjoy incredible views, delicious food and cocktails. You can take the Traveling Rooftop (a double-decker bus) or utilize Bike Chattanooga to get from one rooftop party to another. The festivities begin at 4 p.m. on the rooftops of the CitiPark garage (featuring the bluegrass sounds of Slim Pickins), the EPB Building (with music from Lon Eldridge), Walnut Commons (showcasing sangria and tapas), the Tallan Building (celebrating with locally grown gourmet cheeses and decadent local chocolate), and 201 Cherokee Boulevard (headlined by Ryan Oyer). Then beginning at 7:30 p.m.,

you’ll want to head over to the main rooftop party on the Bijou parking deck overlooking downtown, not to mention six of green|spaces incentivized solar installations. The green|spaces main rooftop party will feature seven local restaurants providing appetizers and cocktails, music by WTM Blues Band and headliner T-Bird & the Breaks, all to support green|spaces. And don’t forget the After Party at Rhythm & Brews featuring Shark Week and The Power Players Band, which kicks off at 10:30 p.m. The RoofTop Hop Saturday, October 19 4 p.m. Various locations

SAT10.19 FAMILY FEUDING “The Bald Soprano” • Meaningless banter, random stories and nonsensical poems all add up to the strangest dinner party you’ve ever seen....and been invited to in the first place. 7 p.m. • Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640,

WELL STRUNG, INDEED Queen B & The Well Strung Band • Influenced by such greats as Mother’s Finest Funk Band, Bon Jovi, Susan Tedeshi, Adele, Bonnie Raitt, Fleetwood Mac and Aretha Franklin, this is one group that far exceeds the definition of “party band”. Get yer dancing shoes. 9:30 p.m. • Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956,

You know what goes with a good cup of coffee? Books. Movies. Music. We buy, sell and trade. Used Books, CDs, Movies, & More

7734 Lee Highway • Mon-Thu 9am-9pm • Fri-Sat 9am-10pm • Sun 11am-7pm • october 17-23, 2013 • The Pulse • 5

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Featuring “Von Grey” the highly-acclaimed quartet of sisters from Johns Creek and fan-favorite “Banks & Shane”

Highcotton, rock band “Aaxis,” Christian Youth Theater featuring: and others - including a special appearance from Blair Crimmons, gospel singer Anitra Jay, Laura Monk & Xena the Warrior Puppy Highcotton, rock band “Aaxis,” Christian Youth Theater WELCOME! and others -PETS including a special appearance from Enter ourXena popular ParadePuppy on Sunday thePet Warrior

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For more For more information,visit information,visit tt 6 • The Pulse • october 17-23, 2013 •


janis hashe

Put That On Your Needles And Knit It Yearning for yarn at Genuine Purl



in it, we’ll explore and celebrate the world of Chattanooga fashion and style—but with our typical Pulse attitude. Stylatude won’t be another tired look at skinny jeans or Jimmy Choos. Instead, we’ll be seeking out local designers, outlets and ideas and talking about what Chattanooga brings to the fashion-and-style table.

Last year, Genuine Purl hosted a workshop with Brandon Mably, for more than a decade the studio manager of the worldfamous Kaffe Fassett Studio in London, which creates knitwear, tapestry and mixed-media artwork.

And we can use your help! Do you know someone who is creating great clothes, hats, bags, jewelry, accessories? We want to hear about them! Send your suggestions to creative@ We’re also looking for writers to help us create the column—so if you’re tuned into the local style scene, can put a sentence together and meet deadlines, send your info to the email address above. Remember, the great Coco Chanel famously said, “Fashion changes. Style remains.” Now that’s stylatude! For this first column, we profile a place that’s been creating individual style—and fashion—for 28 years, knitting shop extraordinaire Genuine Purl. Owner Kathy Brunson has had the needles out on the North Shore for 14 years at the current location on N. Market, and for the previous 14 up the road a bit. An expert knitter herself, “It’s a rare day,” she says, “that I’m not knitting something.” If your vision of knitting is limited to someone’s grandmother sitting by the fireplace making shapeless scarves—you obviously haven’t visited Genuine Purl. The shop is filled with gorgeous yarns from all over the world, including Italy,


still the knitwear capital. Wool, silk, cotton, wool-and-silk blends (“alpaca is very hot right now,” says Brunson), jostle for the attention of knitters who run the age and demographic gamut. “The two employees I have now are wonderful knitters—at 18 and 20 years old,” Brunson says. “We see a lot of young knitters in here.” In fact, knitting is on a bit of a roll right now, and why not? There are fabulous patterns available that go far beyond the classic crewneck sweater—not that a crewneck created in one of Genuine Purl’s eye-catching yarns wouldn’t have style to spare. “Cowl necks, sweaters with a longer tail in back, and especially wraps and shawls—we get many requests for those,” Brunson says. She and her employees often knit examples of new patterns, which are displayed in the shop, though not for sale except during the summer sale, or if one of the model patterns is discontinued. What are for sale are unique and hard-to-find shawl

pins, a must-have knitwear accessory. Fingerless gloves are another hot knitting project at the moment, and the shop stocks yarns that have the perfect “hand,” or texture, for them. Brunson clearly sees the connection between artisan and artist, and gives her customers a chance to experience it. Last year, Genuine Purl hosted a workshop with Brandon Mably, for more than a decade the studio manager of the world-famous Kaffe Fassett Studio in London, which creates knitwear, tapestry and mixedmedia artwork. Mably, who designs patterns for Vogue Knitting, talked to students about color and design, using famous paintings as examples of color choices and shadings as they knitted projects. “On the first day of the workshop, people were not sure they were mastering it,” says Brunson. “But by the end of the second day, when we hung up all the projects together, the results were stunning.” On Wednesday, Oct. 16, she’s hosting a trunk show with a yarn maker from Maine who creates incredible hand-dyed yarns. “When we hear of a designer or fiber artist who is going to be in the area, we jump on it,” she says. If all this sounds fascinating, but you’ve never knit one, purled two in your life, don’t despair. Genuine Purl offers a variety of both day and evening classes, including an “Open Knit Night” on Thursdays from 5 to 7 p.m. What’s better than knitting together your own style? Genuine Purl 140 N. Market St. (423) 267-7335. Open 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Monday-Saturday.



TWO FLOORS • ONE BIG PARTY • LIVE MUSIC • DANCING • 409 MARKET ST • 423.756.1919 open 7 days a week » full menu until 2am » 21+ » smoking allowed • october 17-23, 2013 • The Pulse • 7


Pickin’ Up The Pieces

The Folk School of Chattanooga re-emerges livelier than ever By Carson O’Shoney

Instead of lying down and feeling sorry for themselves, the Folk School folks got to work on finding the right location, while still sending individual teachers out to homes to teach their students and organizing group jams in the park for kids.”

8 • The Pulse • october 17-23, 2013 •


UNKERING DOWN NEAR THE BASE OF SIGNAL MOUNTAIN, Four Squares Business Center might not look like a place with any sort of cultural relevance. It’s a repurposed ’80s retail-complex-turned- office-space. Just off Mountain Creek Road, Four Squares used to be home to the local dollar theatre and a few retail shops and restaurants. Now, it houses law offices and real estate centers. But one unlikely tenant has settled in recently following a strenuous summer: The Folk School of Chattanooga. The Folk School—Chattanooga’s first and only—has been a part of the community for more than three years. Its beginnings reach back to a store called Mountain Music on Dayton Boulevard. It was there that the first classes began, with three instructors, Christie Burns, an acclaimed hammered dulcimer player and currently director of programming, along with Matt Evans (banjo, guitar, fiddle, mandolin) and John Boulware (fiddle), under the name Mountain Music Folk School. Eventually, the store moved, but the school lived on. It moved into the first physical location of its own on Forest Avenue on the North Shore in 2010. The focus was simple, and is best summed up by their mission statement: “Cultivating a thriving community of musicians and music supporters in Chattanooga through educational programs and public events, with a primary focus on traditional music forms of our region.” In those early days, this manifested in the form of a wide variety of music classes, in both individual and group settings. This remains a key component of what happens at the Folk School, but activities have expanded to include organized performances, community jam sessions and much more. “It’s all about building commu-

nity around music,” says Christie Burns. “I saw that I was in a position to really put music first—not just keep it on the sidelines like a hobby—but to really put it first and see what would happen, and I just haven’t turned back yet.” Two years after branching out onto Forest Avenue, the school moved again, this time to Rossville Avenue on the Southside. The site had plenty of space and a large storefront with big windows, two things that were on the dream location checklist. It wasn’t perfect, but it promised to be a fine home. “The whole point of moving was to open things up and really put ourselves more out there for community access, and that’s exactly what it did,” said Burns. Yet that’s where the problems began. “I don’t normally tell this story without a tall glass of beer,” Burns said when asked what happened, clearly still upset about the situation. She continued, “OK, it’s like this. We signed a three-year lease, and we were there for one year. So that’s how that went.” What followed was an exhaustive story of miscommunications and civic red tape—with a bit of bad luck thrown in for bad measure. “There were things about the space that were not exactly disclosed to us. There were controls on the space. There was already

a sort of precarious chain of command, because we were leasing from people who were leasing from the actual property owner,” said Burns. “It became known that modifications were needed to the building in order for anyone to use it for any purpose other than manufacturing.” One of the major problems came down to a sprinkler system—and a city regulation that has been changing ever since. At the time, businesses of the Folk School’s size were required to have sprinkler systems installed. (Recently, the city has relaxed this regulation.) That might have saved the school from abandoning Rossville Avenue if it happened before the summer. But as bad luck would have it, the regulation was in place at the time, and though the problem was already present before the lease was signed, neither the owner nor the landlord were willing to invest more money to install sprinklers. The Folk School couldn’t afford to make modifications of that magnitude. “It wouldn’t have been responsible at all for us to do that,” said Burns. “The Folk School just doesn’t have that kind of resources, and it wasn’t our building to do that to in the first place.” Eventually, it came down to a short note taped on the door one morning in June, a notification of lease violation. The school was given 10 days to move out. “At the end of the

day, it turned out that we never should have been there and we never should have signed that lease,” said Burns. “So we moved out and had to figure things out pretty quickly as far as what to do next.” Instead of lying down and feeling sorry for themselves, the Folk School folks got to work on finding the right location, while still sending individual teachers out to homes to teach their students and organizing group jams in the park for kids. They eventually settled on the space the school currently occupies. “We didn’t want to take forever,” said Dean Arnold, executive director of the Folk School. “This [place] doesn’t have some of the benefits [of Rossville Avenue] like the storefront, but this is a nice facility that’s really set up for teaching.” And it’s turned out to be a great place to be headquartered, he said. “It’s kinda weird. Everyone said, ‘You went to a business park?’ Yes, we did, and it’s turning out that we have a lot of great neighbors wanting to help us out. Plus, the Raines Group is a great landlord to have, so we’re very happy with that relationship we have there.” The new location opened for business on September 1, and the school has been working to get back to normal ever since. Its individual and group classes are back on track, including sessions on instruments from banjos to dulcimers. More

programs are getting off the ground, too. One in particular has Dean Arnold excited—the Mandolin Orchestra. It’s just what you’d expect from a normal stringed orchestra, except with the mando-versions of every instrument. The violin’s counterpart, the mandolin, is the famous member of the family, but the viola has the mandola, the cello has the mandocello, and the bass has the mandobass. “It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a long, long time but I didn’t have the time,” Arnold explained. “I just joined the Folk School as the executive director [after years as a teacher] about a month ago, so now it’s my job to not only think about things like that but actually try to pull them off.” The inspiration came through a friend in the Atlanta Mandolin Orchestra, one of the most well respected in the country. He came to the Folk School for a seminar recently, and the idea grew from there. “Right now, we’re just calling it Mandolin Club, so it’s not as serious,” joked Burns. However, they are already setting lofty goals for themselves. “Tentatively—I mean, this is really ambitious after two weeks—but tentatively we’re planning on putting on a concert jointly with the Atlanta Mandolin Orchestra, and I’m being real aggressive in saying this so I might have to back off a bit, but hopefully by spring we’ll be able to find a venue

here in town and put on a performance,” said Arnold. “If we don’t show well, I can tell you it’ll at least be worth the price of a ticket to see the Atlanta Mandolin Orchestra.” While Folk School leaders continue to strive to find more ways to expand, Christie Burns remains driven by a desire to see the public’s view of music changed at a cultural level. “I hope to live until 110…I hope I live to find myself in a world where everyone plays music all the time and really thrives on it,” said Burns. “Right now, I can confidently tell you that I get out of bed and everything I do is try to make the world more like that—to eliminate any sense of exclusion, where music is here and you are not there. That’s all big idealism talk, but it’s what drives me.” Next time you’re driving down Mountain Creek Road, don’t just pass by Four Squares and assume it’s your average business park. Stop in and talk to Christie Burns or Dean Arnold and you might just learn a thing or two about folk music. If you can’t find the school in the business park—just follow the sounds of banjos, dulcimers and mandolins. The Folk School of Chattanooga is sponsoring “Sacred Harp Singing”, 7 p.m. Thursday, Oct. 17. St. Elmo Fire Hall, 4501 St. Elmo Ave. Folk School of Chattanooga, 1200 Mountain Creek Rd., #130. (423) 827-8906. Website: • october 17-23, 2013 • The Pulse • 9


Marc T. Michael

Band With A Thousand Faces Collective soul searching with Beats Antique


HE STORY BEGINS, AS SO MANY DO, WITH A RENOWNED BELLY dancer approaching her manager (brother to one of the five greatest drummers of all time according to Rolling Stone) about producing an album. When Miles Copeland gave his thumbs-up to the project, Beats Antique (Dave Satori, Zoe Jakes and Tommy Cappel) got to work recording Tribal Derivations. From that moment on, it has been clear that they are less a band and more an arts collective working in mixed media to produce an experience that celebrates humaniy’s love affair with music.

Through their transculturalism they become the living embodiment of the very thing they pay homage to, the ancient storyteller.

honest music

For the sake of finding them in the record store Beats Antique might be called “world music,” but labels are limiting—too often an otherwise mediocre band will throw in a few ethnic instruments and a folk song or two and dub themselves “world music,” when what they really are is a thin and watery pastiche of the tradition they mean to represent. This simply isn’t the case with Beats Antique. The band might more accurately be described as “music of the world.” In a phone interview with Dave Satori, he explained that one of the basic motivations of the band and its concept is to act as a bridge to culture, a way

for listeners to experience a mélange of musical styles to which they would otherwise never be exposed. This isn’t just talk on Dave’s part; he has put his time in traveling here and abroad, including a tour of Nigeria and other parts of West Africa. Instead of bringing home the usual complement of cheap trinkets and souvenirs, Satori brought home musical traditions as old as humanity itself, incorporating these in to the soundscape of the band. This would be no easy feat were it not for the formidable talent of percussionist Tommy Cappel, the Berklee graduate whose credentials are simply too numerous to list here. Suf-

local and regional shows

Ashley and The X's with The Galactic Cowboy Orchestra [$5] Shannon Labrie with Dan Tedesco and Dark Horse Ten [$5] Spoken Nerd, kiDEAD, Kids From Across The Street [$5] Fresh Kils and Durazzo, Mad Dukez, DJ Uncle Fester [$5]

Wed, Oct 16 Thu, Oct 17 Wed, Oct 23 Thu, Oct 24

Sundays: Live Trivia 4-6pm, Followed by Live Music Sunday, Oct 20 - Okinawa [Free]

10 • The Pulse • october 17-23, 2013 •

9pm 9pm 9pm 9pm

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner. 11am-2am, 7 days a week. 35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 *

fice it to say that Cappel may one day find himself ranked as one of the greatest drummers of all time, Rolling Stone or otherwise. If Satori is a collector of musical styles, then his longtime partner Zoe Jakes is an interpreter of those styles, transforming the aural to the visual through dance. Already an accomplished dancer in the disciplines of ballet and jazz, Jakes took up belly dance in 2000 and has since risen to become one of the most recognized, admired and beloved figures in the belly dance community. She brings all of that experience and skill to the stage with Beats Antique, describing the meeting of sound and movement as “interpretive story-telling,” itself an ancient and universal tradition throughout the world. If this all seems a little primal—that’s because it is, and it is meant to be. Through sound and movement, Beats Antique deconstructs humanity to a place where there are no fences, no barriers, echoing a time when

our strength came from the shared experience of huddling around a fire at night remembering our history and traditions through the beat of the drum and the whirl of the dancer. The band’s dedication to this sort of cosmic collective soul searching has won them the endorsement and support of the Joseph Campbell Foundation in anticipation of their upcoming album, A Thousand Faces. The album is an exploration of Campbell’s “hero with a thousand faces” concept of archetypes and the monomyth, and it is hard to imagine a better vehicle than Beats Antique for making such an exploration. Their approach to music, dance, costume, design and performance is nothing if not a celebration of the common origins of our species. It’s a reminder that no matter how different we may see ourselves from our fellow human beings, we are all made from the same stuff and ultimately we all came from the same place. Through

their multiculturalism they become trans-cultural and through their trans-culturalism they become the living embodiment of the very thing they pay homage to, the ancient storyteller. Their work is fascinating and thought-provoking, not only for what it is but for what it may yet become. The way these three young people embrace art precludes boundaries to their performance. It is not in the least unlikely to think that one day they might invite sculptors on stage to transform blocks of ice into primitive gods and goddesses. Perhaps they will drape the stage in canvas and invite the audience to create a great, collective mural of the night’s theme. Whatever they do next, there is no doubt it will speak to unity of mankind and remind us of that thing we too often forget: We are all in this together. Beats Antiques appears at Track 29 on Wednesday, October 16. Do NOT miss the opportunity to see them live. • october 17-23, 2013 • The Pulse • 11

Chattanooga Live


MUSIC CALENDAR Seven Handle Circus

Brett Eldredge



THU 9p










SAT 10p










THUrsday 10.17 Bluegrass and Country Jam 6:30 p.m. Grace Nazarene Church, 6310 Dayton Blvd. (423) 842-5919, Soddy-Daisy Jamboree 7 p.m. Soddy-Daisy Community Center, 9835 Dayton Pk. (423) 332-5323 Fireside at Greenway Farm: GPS String Quartet 7 p.m. Greenway Farms, 5051 Gann Store Rd. (423) 643-6888, Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, Jonathan Wimpe 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, Junior Brown 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, Tim Neal and Mike Harris 7:30 p.m. Mexi Wings VII, 5773 Brainerd Rd. (423) 509-8696, Shannon Labrie, Dan Tedesco and Dark Horse Ten 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, Brett Eldredge 9 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929, Drake White, The Big Fire 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St., (423) 267-4644,

12 • The Pulse • october 17-23, 2013 •

Ponderosa, Annachrome 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, Open Mike with Hap Henniger 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191,

friday 10.18 Matthew Croxton 12:30 p.m. Cartecay Vineyards, 5704 Clear Creek Rd. (706) 6989463, Charley Yates 4:30 p.m. Wimpie’s Country Restaurant, 9826 Dayton Pk. (423) 332-6201 Jason Thomas and the Mean-Eyed Cats: The Man in Black Tribute 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000 Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Mason, 2204 Hamilton Pl. Blvd. (423) 894-8726, Tim Lewis 5:30 p.m. El Mason Hixson, 248 Northgate Mall. (423) 710-1201 Binji Varsossa 6 p.m. Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge, 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461, The Half & Half Band 7 p.m. Troy’s Place, 320 Emerson Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (423) 965-8346 Danny Sample/Dave Walters 7 p.m. 212 Market, 212 Market St. (423) 265-1212, Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925

Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, Scott Little Band 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065, Jerre Haskew, Tabitha Hensley Cox, Martha Ann Brooks, The Real Bob Carty, Matthew Kerns, Andrew Kelsay 8 p.m. Charles’ and Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960, “Mountain Opry”: Bluegrass and mountain music 8 p.m. Walden’s Ridge Civic Center, 2501 Fairmount Pk. (423) 886-3252 Pricilla and Lil Rickee 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400, Crossfire 8:30 p.m. Charlie’s Restaurant and Lounge, 8504 Dayton Pk. (423) 842-9744 Soul Survivor 8:30 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Ter. (423) 710-8739, Amber Fults 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191, Rosedale Remedy 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, Milele Roots, Rick Rushing and the Blues Strangers 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, The Royal Hounds 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956,

Seven Handle Circus, You, Me, & Apollo 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, Jacob Blazer Band 10 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919, facebook. com/raw.chattanooga One Night Stand 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878,

saturday 10.19 The Oompahsters 8:30 a.m Rock City Gardens, 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd. (706) 820-2531, Man Bites Dog 12:30 p.m. Cartecay Vineyards, 5704 Clear Creek Rd. (706) 698-9463, Jason Thomas and the Mean-Eyed Cats: The Man in Black Tribute 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo ChooVictorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000, Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Mason, 2204 Hamilton Pl. Blvd. (423) 894-8726, Tim Lewis 5:30 p.m. El Mason Hixson, 248 Northgate Mall. (423) 710-1201 Binji Varsossa 6 p.m. Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge, 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461, 24/7 Band 7 p.m. Red Clay Pickin’ Barn,

Chattanooga Live

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191


Neutal Milk Hotel

PeeWee Moore

Thursday, October 17: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, October 18: 9pm Amber Fults Saturday, October 19: 10pm Lon Eldridge Tuesday, October 22: 7pm

1095 Weatherly Switch Tr. (423) 464-3034 The Hopeful Country Band 7 p.m. - 10 p.m. Troy’s Place, 320 Emerson Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (423) 965-8346 Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, “Rooftop Hop”: WTM Blues Band, T-Bird & The Breaks 7:30 p.m. Bijou Parking Deck, 215 Broad St. The Countrymen Band 8 p.m. Eagles Club, 6128 Airways Blvd. (423) 894-9940 Curtis and Loretta 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960, “The Old-Timey AvantGarde Series”: The Home of Easy Credit 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, Pricilla and Lil Rickee 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400, Crossfire 8:30 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Ter. (423) 710-8739, Peelander Z, Double Dick Slick, Gold Plated Gold 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, Austin Nichols Band 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, Neutral Milk Hotel 9 p.m. Track 29,

1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929, Power Players 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, Queen B & The Well Strung Band 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, Jacob Blazer Band 10 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919, facebook. com/raw.chattanooga Lon Eldridge 10 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191,

sunday 10.20 The Oompahsters 8:30 a.m. Rock City Gardens, 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd. (706) 820-2531, Benji Varsossa, Danny Mull, Jimmy Young 11 a.m. Great New York Flea Market, 143 Park Industrial Blvd. Ringgold, Ga. (706) 858-0188 Bobby Denton Band Jam 2 p.m. Cheap Seats Sports Bar, 2925 Rossville Blvd. (423) 629-5636 “Evensong” 5:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, Okinawa 7 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, David Allen and 90 Proof 8 p.m. Acoustic Café,

61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065,

monday 10.21 Men’s Barbershop Harmony Group 7 p.m. All Saints Academy, 10 East Eighth St. (423) 876-7359 Wally Henry 7 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065, Big Band Night 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055,

tuesday 10.22 Tim Starnes & Friends 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, Jim Palmer 7:30 p.m. 1885 Grill, 3914 Saint Elmo Ave. (423) 485-3050, Open Mic with Mike McDade 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996, The Kite Fighters, JGS, The Travel Guide 9 p.m. J.J.’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400,

wednesday 10.23 Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Meson Hixson,

248 Northgate Mall, (423) 710-1201 Dan Sheffield 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, PeeWee Moore 7:30 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Ter. (423) 710-8739, Priscilla & Little Rickee 8:30 p.m. Las Margarita’s, 1101 Hixson Pk. (423) 756-3332, Spoken Nerd, kiDEAD, Kids From Across The Street 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, Arlo Gilliam 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, Datsik 9 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929, Friends of Lola 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644,

Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks! Stop by & check out our daily specials! Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Hot Music • Hot Times • Hot Food

Smoke Free • 742 Ashland Terrace

18 Soul Survivor SAT OCT 19 Crossfire FRI OCT

Come Catch All The College Football Action Every Saturday HAPPY HOUR


Map these locations on Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@


(423) 710-8739 • october 17-23, 2013 • The Pulse • 13

Between the Sleeves

record reviews • ernie paik

Get On Board the Sun Ship or Move In Spectrums New/old Trane, revivalist Au Revoir Simone AN CUB d , THaE-cola mawriitnhate ham

coc lled zarella, , gri pork les, moz , and stard .yum! pick .. n mu cuba peppers a n bana



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Milele Roots, Rick Rushing and the Blues Strangers

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 19 Peelander Z, GPG, Double Dick Slick

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 22 Kite Fighters, JGS, The Travel Guide

231 E MLK Blvd ✴

John Coltrane Sun Ship: The Complete Session (Impulse!/Mosaic)


ccasionally, an uncovering of “lost tapes” will cause jazz geeks to have a collective climax, like the excellent Carnegie Hall concert recording discovered in 2005 featuring Thelonious Monk and John Coltrane. A more recent discovery has been the complete recording session made on August 26, 1965 by John Coltrane’s “classic quartet,” featuring tracks that would comprise the posthumous 1971 release Sun Ship, which is now significant if only for being the sole complete session made by the quartet that has survived over the years. The release at hand features over an hour of unreleased music—alternate takes, inserts and studio conversation—on two CDs (on Impulse!) or three LPs (on Mosaic), and take note that it doesn’t actually include the edited, finished album as assembled by Alice Coltrane and Ed Michel. The session was at an interest-

14 • The Pulse • october 17-23, 2013 •

Au Revoir Simone Move in Spectrums (Instant)

ing time, toward the end of the quartet’s run, occurring less than a year after the acknowledged masterpiece A Love Supreme and one month before the tumultuous, difficult and sometimes maligned yet fascinating septet recording Om. Sun Ship is not inaccessible, but it leans toward the fringes, particularly with Coltrane himself on tenor sax on the title track, with hearty nearbleats of small note patterns and furious trills. “Amen” underscores this gentlemanly conflict, with articulate, swift scampering from pianist McCoy Tyner and drummer Elvin Jones sustaining the piece with passionate momentum, seemingly pushed by Coltrane for greater intensity. The session is presented chronologically, so “Dearly Beloved” opens the set, rather than the title track, presenting a deeply emotional type of jazz balladry, with Jones crucially setting the mood with rumbles and rolls.

Included are eight takes of “Ascent,” which is seven takes more than what the casual listener probably needs, featuring wanderings from bassist Jimmy Garrison, sometimes hitting that sweet spot, and if anything, Sun Ship: The Complete Session, demonstrates that editing truly is an underrated art, allowing Coltrane fanatics to acutely understand that wise decisions were made to produce the completed album.


or those who have grown weary of the seemingly endless parade of shameless ’80s revival acts that can drive a person to self-harm, a cursory glance at the Brooklyn all-woman electro-pop trio Au Revoir Simone’s latest album Move in Spectrums might not bode well. The man behind the group’s new label home Instant Records, Richard Gottehrer, cofounded the new wave mainstay

Sire Records and produced the likes of The Go-Go’s and Blondie, and the group’s music video for “Crazy” is a shot-by-shot tribute to the 1985 film "After Hours". Don’t be fooled, though; Au Revoir Simone mercifully stands apart from the crowd, and although its clean, purely artificial synth notes and gated beatbox beats might have certain commonalities with new-wave-era music, this is no wink with ironic detachment. A drum machine “clap” sound has rarely sounded so sincere within the last two decades. Many have written that Au Revoir Simone exudes innocence, but this writer simply attributes that to the group’s lack of smugness or a hidden agenda; it’s cute music, sure, but it’s not cloying or naïve. The album’s first salvo is pretty irresistible for pop lovers, with the opener “More Than” featuring an earworm chorus that could open a discussion about what makes a melody a good melody; in this case, it’s a perfect hook, cemented by an infectious vocal rhythm and the tried-andtrue ascending-note climb, with payoff. Fans won’t find Move in Spectrums to be a huge departure from the band’s previous proper albums, with certain elements thrown into the synth-pop mix like live drumming on “Love You Don’t Know Me” and guitar licks on the highlight “Crazy,” which has a certain Go-Go’s-esque enthusiasm to it. So, don’t call them revivalists, and if one must lump, then lump them in with other smart, pert indie-pop acts such as Club 8 and Lali Puna. Move in Spectrums features simple joys, and guarded listeners and synthpop fans should let their melodies creep in and infect them.

the Pulse's

Halloween Guide zombies & clowns SIR GOONEY'S COOKS UP A ZOMBIE CIRCUS that combines your two greatest fears

masked madness


mask maker brandon scott murphree brings halloween fear to your face

plus haunted houses & HALLOWEEN events WHERE TO GO, WHAT TO SEE, WHEN TO SCREAM

your weekly guide to chattanooga's favorite halloween haunts • october 17-23, 2013 • The Pulse • 15

Halloween Guide

A Zombie Circus at the Haunted Carnival By Josh Lang

16 • The Pulse • october 17-23, 2013 •


RE YOU AFRAID OF CLOWNS? DO ZOMBIES FRIGHTEN YOU? IF the answer was yes to either of these questions, then you definitely need to head over to Sir Gooney’s Zombie Circus for this seasonal experience. Sir Gooney’s is notorious for delivering a unique haunted house experience and this year did not disappoint. As I approached with trepidation, the night sky was crisp—and in the distance screams could be heard. Waiting to experience this haunt never feels arduous, as spooky Halloweenthemed videos play as other groups go through, and some inhabitants in costume even come up to nibble on your ear lobe or flash sparks behind your head. The recurring role that has been consistent through the years is the featured “Boogie Man” who lays down the ground rules for the haunt and prepares you for what is ahead. Just as in years past, he does a standup...or should that be deadon?...job. Beginning the journey through the dark tunnels left me feeling uneasy as I wondered what demonic clown figure would follow me home in my nightmares. Creepy children playing the roles of undead clown zombies might take home the prize as the most frightful part there, but we had barely scratched the surface of the haunt. Corridor after corridor of

surprises, jumps, frights, and audio-visual hallucinations were enough to send me spiraling into a deep psychosis—but it wasn’t complete until I saw the figure that would laugh in my nightmares for years to come. A zombie clown midget was the ruler of this land and offered a new meaning to the words “pure terror.” However, the adventure is still not complete until you traverse the dark maze of Zombie Circus, where ghoulish figures creep up behind, getting lost is no longer assisted with Magellan, and eerie sounds of humans being slaughtered by chainsaws permeate the background. The attention to detail is what sets this haunt apart from the rest. Given limited space parameters Sir Gooney’s does quite a spectacular job keeping the twists and turns fresh and unique. Sir Gooney’s has historically delivered a quality haunted house experience, and this year is no different. A $20 ticket will get you a tour through hell and a round of putt-putt golf! Additionally the ticket is packed with coupons and great savings, making this haunt economically valid and fun. They are located on Brainerd Road and parking is never an issue. They aim to please and stay open late into the night. For more information, check their website at

Beginning the journey through the dark tunnels left me feeling uneasy as I wondered what demonic clown figure would follow me home in my nightmares.”


Haunted Houses & Events Acres of Darkness Haunted Trail Chattanooga Audubon Acres 900 N. Sanctuary Road Hours/Dates: 8-11 p.m. Fridays and Saturday Evenings, October 18-26 Tickets: $15 Web: Blowing Screams Farm 271 Chattanooga Valley Road Flintstone, Ga. Hours/Dates: 7 p.m. every Friday and Saturday night in October. Tickets: $16 Blowing Screams Farm; $20 Combo ticket Web: Chattanooga Ghost Tours 138 Market Street Hours/Dates: 7 p.m. every Friday and Saturday night in October. Tickets: Tour $15 adults, $10 children; Kids 12-under are free Web: Dreamnight: Boo in the Zoo! 301 North Holtzclaw Avenue Hours/Dates: 5:30-8:30p.m. October 18, 19, 24, 25, & 26 Tickets: $8.95 adults and $5.95 kids 3-12 Web: Enchanted Maize 271 Chattanooga Valley Road Flintstone, Ga. Features: “Another YEar of Corny Fun.” Hours/Dates: ThursdaysSundays through Oct. 30. Tickets: $9 adults, $7 children Web: Halloween Eerie Express Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum 4119 Cromwell Road Hours/Dates: October 11, 12, 18, 19, 25 & 26; Trains depart at 7:45 p.m. Tickets: $22 ages 2 and up Web: The Haunted Barn 5107 McDonald Road, McDonald Hours/Dates: 7-10 p.m. , Friday and Saturdays in October. Tickets: $18 Web:

Haunted Cavern Ruby Falls 1720 South Scenic Highway Hours/Dates: 8 p.m. Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays in October (including Oct. 31). Tickets: $21 online; $23 at the door; $17 Sundays Web: Haunted Hilltop 8235 Highway 58 Hours/Dates: 7 p.m.-1 a.m. Fridays and Saturdays in October (including Oct. 31) Tickets: $20 for the Haunted House, Haunted Maze and Haunted Hayride. Free parking. Web: Lake Winnepaspookah 1730 Lakeview Drive, Rossville Hours/Dates: 6-11 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays in October. Tickets: $24 Web: Monster Barn 4431 Shackleford Ridge Road, Signal Mountain Hours/Dates: 7:30-10:45 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays in October. Tickets: $10 per person Web: Mystery Dog Ranch 975 Wooten Road, Ringgold, GA Hours/Dates: 7 p.m. Oct. 11, 12, 18, 19, 25, 26 Tickets: $10 Web: Redneck Zombie Paintball 490 County Road 67, Riceville, Hours/Dates: Friday and Saturday nights 7-11 p.m. and Halloween Tickets: $15 Web: Sir Gooney’s Haunted Carnival 5918 East Brainerd Road Hours/Dates: Doors open at 7:30 p.m. every weekend in October through Halloween. Tickets: $20 Web: Beside Pepboy’s Auto, near Hamilton Place Mall entrance

2114 Gunbarrel Road Chattanooga, TN

$10 OFF

a purchase of $50.00 or more.

Expires October 24, 2013. Only at this location. Limit one coupon per customer. Cannot be combined with any other offer or discount.

Beside Pepboy’s Auto, near Hamilton Place Mall entrance

2114 Gunbarrel Road Chattanooga, TN HE2184-5.25x10.4-PulseMgz-ChattanoogaTN-4c.indd 1

Pulse 8:17 AM • october 17-23, 2013 • The9/20/13 • 17

Halloween Guide

The Mad Mask Maker By Chelsea Sokol


OR THE MOST PART, DECORATING YOURSELF for Halloween has become a commercialized holiday of interchangeable, mass-produced costumes and shoddy, downright-shameful craftsmanship. In Halloween costume stores, we can choose from a wide array of cheap monsters and zombies, “slutty fill-in-theblank,” sad superheroes, and even cheesy puns for the annoyingly ironic partygoer. Gone are the days when people put thought and effort into their costumes, when interesting, unique, or—dare I say?—scary costumes were actually desirable. Well, not if Brandon Scott Murphree has his way. Murphree started out as a makeup artist for film and theater productions; enjoyable as that was, he felt like the makeup business wasn’t his ultimate calling. While working in an effects house in South Carolina assisting monster-mask making, Murphree was inspired and realized that he could actually make masks for a living. Even though he has only been mask-making on his own for about a year now (with his own label Mad Science FX Studios), horror has been a part of his life ever since he can remember—in fact, “watching old Universal monster movies” is his “oldest memory.” For Brandon Murphree, horror masks aren’t just disposable Halloween costumes or fan collector’s items—mask making is an art.

Murphree rejects our consumer society, bulk-production and consumption tendencies by custom-making each and every mask himself. The process begins with at least a full day of sculpting. To make quality masks, the clay, glass, or plaster mold must first be a perfect representation of the character for the mask. It can’t have any weak spots or air bubbles, or the integrity of each mask will be ruined. Then, Murphree has to use very precise measurements of liquid plastic or a resin mix, timing each part of the process exactly in order to create a structurally sound mask. Only small amounts of the liquid mix can be applied to the mold at a time, essentially layering the latex, resin, or liquid plastic and avoiding air bubbles in order for it to be durable, flexible, and beautiful. After everything has had time to dry and, eventually, bake, Murphree can start painting the masks—probably the most interesting part of the process. Each mask has its own individual, marked characteristics. Not a single one is an exact replica of another. Murphree emphasizes the importance of making each mask distinguishable from the next, even if it’s just “a splatter of blood in a

Murphree emphasizes the importance of making each mask distinguishable from the next, even if it’s just ‘a splatter of blood in a different place.’

18 • The Pulse • october 17-23, 2013 •

different place.” When he went to Maskfest 2013 in Indianapolis—the biggest custom maskmaking festival in the country— he was assured that he had made the right choice. Not only did he sell each and every one of his masks there, but he also found a mask maker whose custom style matches his own: “It may seem silly, but it’s just so important to me that the mask I buy from him is mine— I’m the only person in the whole world with this exact mask. Yes, the differences are in tiny details, like the number of teeth missing, but I still feel like I have something special and unique,” he says. Working from his own kitchen, Murphree has decided that he wants his small business to remain small—the value of his

particular artistic process depends on him doing the painstaking work by hand, rather than allowing it to be mass-produced mechanically. His most popular masks are hockey masks from cult horror movies like Jason from “Friday the 13th” and other figures in popular culture; however, Murphree explains that he has the most fun making his own, original designs, which he finds to be in far higher demand during the Halloween season. If you feel like returning to the artistic roots of pop-horror culture and rejecting its commercial bastardization, visit Brandon Murphree’s website to order one of his custom masks in time for Halloween 2013:


Thurs, Fri, Sat & Sun nights! Save on Sundays - buy your online ticket today. Not recommended for young children, parental discretion is advised.


At the foot of Lookout Mountain 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd Flintstone, Georgia 30725 Phone 706-820-2531

Fri. & Sat. Nights sponsored by

In Partnership with • october 17-23, 2013 • The Pulse • 19


The Smith Who Is A Smith U

SUALLY MY WRITING ALTERNATES between arts one week and technology the next. This time it’s about blacksmithing, which recast itself from dead technology to art in the last century.

He loves that he is making useful things from reclaimed materials, like truck axles and leaf springs. Story by Rich Bailey Photo by Luke Padgett

Smelting ore into metal, then shaping it into useful things by heating it in a forge and hammering it on an anvil was the killer app of the ancient world, enshrined in every culture’s mythology and a day-to-day mainstay of economies and militaries around the world. In developed countries, the industrial revolution gradually replaced the beefy guy pounding on an anvil with various kinds of machine operators and foundry workers. By the time Eric Smith was born in the 1970s, blacksmithing had hit bottom as an economic necessity and started making a comeback as an artisanal craft. He first encountered it working at a Boy Scout camp in New Mexico the summer when he was 25. “That was where I first had the experience of actually hammering on hot metal,” he said. “I vividly remember thinking to myself, ‘I have to figure out how to do this for a job.’” After receiving a BFA in metals at the Appalachian Center for Craft in Smithville, Tenn. in 2003, he spent five years smithing in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, then moved to Chattanooga two years ago to be closer to family

in Atlanta, where he grew up. Within three months he organized Artifact Studio, a shared studio space with several other artists. He knows he’s out of step with the mainstream. Trying to put his artisan work in context relative to a culture that seems hell-bent on replacing every technology as fast (and profitably) as possible, I start to ask him, “What’s it like being...” and he finishes my sentence: “A dinosaur?” But his work—mostly wood and metal furniture and useful things like garden tools and meat cleavers—is getting noticed and appreciated. He recently received a highly competitive Individual artist Fellowship from the Tennessee Arts Commission. And last year he won a MakeWork grant. In June, he quit his day job in an industrial welding shop. So now he’s a full-time blacksmith and hooked on making metal do what he wants. “Moving metal like that, it’s basically the heat and the physicality of it I love, but also being able to make anything that I need or want, just having that freedom,” he says. “I can make stuff that will be around

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for a long time. I just really think that’s something special.” He also loves that he is making useful things from reclaimed materials, like truck axels and leaf springs. “Before the industrial revolution, every nail in your house was made by hand, by a person,” he says. Nails were so valuable then that “Pioneers, if they decided they were going to move, would burn their house down and pick through all the ashes to get all the nails back. Now we just go buy another box of nails. And who’s going to keep nails, except for me.” He crosses to the other side of his shop and brings out a box of very old nails he plans to reuse. Unlike contemporary nails, which are round because they are cut from machined wire, these are square and tapered, showing they were handmade under the hammer of someone like him. “These are all from New Orleans, from a neighborhood that was built in the early 1800s,” he says. “All this stuff was so precious, but now it’s all junk. I try to counteract that by reusing this stuff and turning it into objects that people can use.” Despite his increasing recognition, he knows his craft is obscure. “In the past, if your town didn’t have a blacksmith, you didn’t have a town,” he says.

“Also, the doctor and the blacksmith were the two most wealthy people in the town. I am not wealthy by any means, and nobody knows what I do. They understand welding and they understand cast iron, but I don’t cast iron. I forge it. I’m hammering that metal into a new shape.” Despite struggling to find his niche in the world, he says “I’m staying true to the basic idea of a blacksmith, but I like to do it in more of an artful way now than maybe it would have been done in the past.” Blacksmithing’s passage from technology to art was surely a one-way trip. Short of an economic collapse or a zombie apocalypse, it’s hard to imagine returning to a time when the smith’s forge could meet everyday needs for an entire economy. But it does make me wonder about smart phones. Hand-forged iron and steel goods were more ubiquitous in their day than cell phones. When wearable computers have replaced mobile devices—a shift that is on lots of to do lists in Silicon Valley—maybe someone like Eric Smith will revive the phone as an art form. For more information on Eric Smith’s work, you can view Luke Padgett’s short film about him, “The Drama of Steel,” at or st Eric's website:

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The Novelist Procrastinates If there ever was a case of “don’t do as I do,” it would be the saga of my first novel, “The Ex-Club Tong Pang,” which was published as an ebook by Twilight Times Books on Tuesday and will arrive as a paperback on Dec. 15. I began writing the story many years ago, not long after I moved out of the Los Angeles neighborhood that inspired it. But it turns out that although I am an efficient journalist, I’m a very slow fiction writer, and it’s taken all this time to finish what is really a very short book. Note to self and other potential novelists: Oddly, you actually have to work on a book in order to finish it. Who knew? “The Ex-Club Tong Pang” is a “comic suspense” story, set in 1980s Los Angeles, and follows the adventures of retail worker and part-time playwright Hannelore Herald, whose thwarted attempt to check out the Korean nightclub down the street from her apartment leads to a meeting with an attractive but unreliable man who claims to be investigating a baby-buying ring. There are some characters that are based pretty darn closely on real people, which just goes to show you should not hang around writers if you don’t want to end up in their stories. The following is a short excerpt. You can read the first three chapters at html “The guest I await will arrive With a blue robe over his weary person. —Yuk sa Lee Los Angeles, the late 1980s It never occurred to Hannelore Herald that the Club Tong Pang would disappear. She assumed it would be there when she got up the courage to step through its enormous wood and iron doors. No one she knew had ever been inside the Tong Pang. Its windowless exterior cloaked foreign and fascinating conversations and transactions. Its doors were that of a fortress. She was determined that one day, in a fit of dizzy valor, she would storm it. Hannelore had to admit that perhaps because she spent so much time around theatre people, her thought processes were

Cover design by Robin P. Seaman

“The Ex-Club Tong Pang” finally emerges

sometimes a little melodramatic. However, she did make it her mission to go places in her neighborhood no other white people did, partly to pick up ideas for plays and partly because she was just nosey. She loved the idea that there were layers of life going on all around her, all the time. In the space of a few blocks in her ’hood, she would encounter faded but gallant people who could remember when Norma Talmadge (or was it Constance?) really lived in The Talmadge apartment building; young, black female office workers with attitude and five-inch heels; unbuttoned Latino families barbecuing in their parking lots; buttoned-up Korean families gardening in their front yards; and, quite possibly, her Armenian landlord and his Rumanian wife, out for an afternoon stroll. Life in her neighborhood could change rhythms with one blast of a car horn playing La Cucaracha or the next-door neighbors turning on ’Retha real loud. The Ex-Club Tong Pang By Janis Hashe, published by Twilight Times Books Ebook release on twilighttimesbooks Oct. 15, paperback release Dec. 15 How Much: Ebook $6.50 on the Twilight Times site. Other pricing will apply on Amazon,, etc. Paperback $15.95. • october 17-23, 2013 • The Pulse • 21

October Weekends

Arts & Entertainment

EVENTS CALENDAR Master Hypnotist Gary Conrad

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THUrsday 10.17 “Ragtime” 2:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, Ooltewah Farmer’s Market 3 p.m. Ooltewah Nursery & Landscape Co. Inc., 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 Family Canoeing on North Chickamauga Creek 6 p.m. Greenway Farm, 5051 Gann Store Rd. (423) 643-6888, “Mystery of the Redneck Italian Wedding” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, Crows on a Fence 7 p.m. - 10 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter, East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, Master Hypnotist Gary Conrad 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, “Ring of Fire” with Kellye Cash 7:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave. (931) 484-5000,

22 • The Pulse • october 17-23, 2013 •

friday 10.18 “Les Misérables” 2 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. 423) 757-5156, Daytime - Farm 2 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, “To Kill a Mockingbird” 2:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, Boo in the Zoo 5:30 p.m. Chattanooga Zoo, 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 503-3888, Casual Wine Tasting 6 p.m. 212 Market, 212 Market St. (423) 265-1212, “Mystery of the Nightmare Office Party” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, “The Bald Soprano” 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640, “Ring of Fire” with Kellye Cash 7:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee

Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, “Oklahoma” 7:30 p.m. Colonnade Center, 264 Catoosa Cir., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 935-9000, Master Hypnotist Gary Conrad 7:30 & 9:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, “Blithe Spirit” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534, Michael Harrison 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839,

saturday 10.19 Rocktoberfest 8:30 a.m. Rock City Gardens, 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd. (706) 820-2531, “Ring of Fire” with Kellye Cash 10:30 a.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, “To Kill a Mockingbird” 2:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville.

(931) 484-5000, “Mystery of Flight 138” 5:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, Black Cat and Jack Decorate for Halloween 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, Master Hypnotist Gary Conrad 7 & 9:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, “Oklahoma” 7:30 p.m. Colonnade Center, 264 Catoosa Cir., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 935-9000, “The Bald Soprano” 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640, “Ragtime” 8 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, “Blithe Spirit” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534, “Mystery of the Facebook Fugitive” 8 p.m. Vaudeville Café,

Arts & Entertainment

EVENTS CALENDAR Ocktoberfest at the Market

Michael Harrison

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138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, Michael Harrison 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839,

sunday 10.20 Rocktoberfest 8:30 a.m. Rock City Gardens, 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd. (706) 820-2531, 12th Annual Chattanooga Oktoberfest 11 a.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St., “The Bald Soprano” 2:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640, “Ragtime” 2:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, The Bridge 6 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, Master Hypnotist Gary Conrad 7 p. m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd.

(423) 629-2233,

monday 10.21 FALL in Love With Art Camp - Day 1 1 p.m. - 5 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, Haunted House Famly Night 5:30 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317,

tuesday 10.22 “Ragtime” 1 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, FALL in Love With Art Camp - Day 2 1 p.m. - 5 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, Looking Up 5:30 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter.. East Ridge. (423) 321-2317,

wednesday 10.23 Scarecrow 7 p.m. Artsy-U,

5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317,

ongoing Enchanted MAiZE 9 a.m. - 6:30 p.m. Blowing Springs Farm, 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd. (706) 820-2531, ODDtober 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. daily. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695, Magic Tree House traveling exhibit 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Mon-Sun. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738, “Narrative Gestures” 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Mon-Sat, 1 - 5 p.m. Sun. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, “Animals and Pets” 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Mon-Fri. Reflection Gallery, 6922 Lee Hwy., (423) 892-3072, For All The World To See: Visual Culture and The Struggle for Civil Rights 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Mon-Fri., Noon- 4 p.m. Sat. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd. (423) 266-8658,

“FRESH” 11 a.m. - 5 p.m. Tues.- Sat. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, “Texture and Glaze” 11 a.m. - 6 p.m., Mon-Sat, 1 - 5 p.m. Sun. In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214, “Icons in Transformation” 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. Tues-Fri., 10 a.m. - Noon Sat St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, 305 W 7th St. (423) 266-8195, Rock City Raptors 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. Fri-Sat, 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn, Ga. Chattanooga Ghost Tours 9 p.m. nightly. The Little Curiosity Shoppe, 138 Market St. (423) 821-7125, Blowing SCREAMS Farm 7 p.m. Blowing Springs Farm, 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd. (706) 820-2531, Chattanooga Ghost Tours 9 p.m. nightly. The Little Curiosity Shoppe, 138 Market St. (423) 821-7125,


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Map these locations on Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ • october 17-23, 2013 • The Pulse • 23


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Personal Space “Gravity” evokes the best sci-fi of an earlier era

This is a real, stand-alone, science-fiction movie, one that doesn’t involve aliens or killer robots, intersteller travel or hyperdrives.

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Can you craft a compelling 650-word short feature or profile—and a longer, in-depth feature worthy of our cover? If so, let’s talk. The Pulse is seeking a few good freelance writers to join our stable of news, feature, music, political, fashion and arts writers. We reward our writers with fair pay and a showcase for their skills. If you’ve got the “write stuff,” we want your voice in The Pulse. Email samples of your best clips along with a brief bio to:

24 • The Pulse • october 17-23, 2013 •


LFONSO CUARÓN'S “GRAVITY” MAY BE SOMETHING OF a defining film in 2013. It’s rare that more than one exceptional science-fiction film is released in a year, and while “Europa Report” and “Upstream Color” still largely exist on the fringe of mainstream movies, “Gravity” marries tension and science realism in a way that hasn’t been seen since 1968. The fact that it was so well funded and released wide is an anomaly. It’s an impressive feat, especially when you consider that a major release is almost always considered a sure thing, destined to hit and sell well. Sequels and reboots are popular because the audience already exists and tickets sales are nearly guaranteed. “Gravity” is not a franchise—there will be no sequels or toy tie-ins or promotional crossovers with fast-food chains. This is a real, stand-alone, science-fiction movie, one that doesn’t involve aliens or killer robots, intersteller travel or hyperdrives. Instead, the film shows astronauts working in low earth orbit in a re-

alistic, plausible way. Much has been made of astrophysicist Neal DeGrasse Tyson’s Twitter critiques of the film. While they are certainly valid from a purely scientific standpoint, consider how minor they are in comparison to other sci-fi films. What the film gets right far overshadows what it gets wrong. “2001: A Space Odyssey” attempted to show what was possible in a spacecentered society. “Gravity” shows what is possible right now in ours. I was initially skeptical of “Gravity” because of what it might have been. The trailers make a point of showing Sandra Bullock uncon-


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ILLED WINGS DOUG KELLER FAMHOUEVSERGR Y MONDAY rollably spinning away from Earth at high speed, with no communication or hope for rescue. “Open Water,” a film from 2003, dealt with similar themes of abandonment and hopelessness, using two stranded divers in the open ocean rather than astronauts in outer space. That film failed largely due to the tedium of the setting, and it might have been easy for “Gravity” to follow in its footsteps. But where “Open Water” had no tension, “Gravity” abounds with it. The difference is that “Gravity” gives its players a chance, however slim and unlikely. There isn’t much in the way of plot beyond a survival story, and the characters themselves at times seem a bit thin, but the film overshadows these flaws with jawdropping visuals and a nearly overwhelming abundance of suspense. Every scene is well crafted, every shot spectacular. There are no sound effects in the space shots, just the underlying haunt of a film score, which only serves to highlight the tension. This is a film that will be nominated for Best Picture on these merits alone. Whether it will win is another matter. If I have a quibble with the film, it would be the treatment of Sandra Bullock’s character. Hollywood has a tendency to repeat the same tropes over and over again when it comes to characterizing women. For mystifying reasons, Hollywood screenwriters insist of including highly specific personal tragedies in the backstory of female characters. In general, this has to do with lost children, lost husbands, or physical abuse. In a film like “Gravity,” I don’t know that the

audience needs any more connection to a character other than the fact that she is a fellow human being in an impossible situation. I don’t know that the character needs a reason to survive besides being a rational animal driven by evolutionary forces to do so.The personal tragedy seems at best superfluous and at worst a bit misogynistic. Technology and training is a great equalizer, so the need of the filmmakers to distract the audience with an emotional red herring seems to be an odd choice for an otherwise excellent film. “Gravity” is one of the first films that I recommend seeing on an IMAX screen. For most films, the IMAX screen is unnecessary and frivolous. But because of the scope and scale of the visuals, seeing it on the largest screen available will only serve to enhance the experience. It is unfortunate that the film is only available in 3D, another useless fad that can’t go away fast enough, but at least the 3D effects are well done. They don’t really add much to the film, but they don’t detract from it either. Given the relative dry spell that happens with Hollywood films between end of summer and beginning of Oscar season, “Gravity” is likely the best film out right now. It may be the best film released this year.





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26 • The Pulse • october 17-23, 2013 •

Spirits Within

mike dobbs

Vodka, My Vodka Sipping a couple of classics at Ruth’s Chris “I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade…and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” — Ron White


hat can you say about vodka that already hasn’t been uttered? Vodka is the Garanimals of the cocktail world. It’ll match with about everything within reason. From “Sex in the City”’s cute little Cosmos to Fernand Petiot’s famous Bloody Mary in Paris’s New York Bar, it has remained a loyal principal element of the drinking classes since Gutenberg learned to spell. (No, I don’t mean the guy from “Police Academy.”) I’d not yet been to the new Ruth’s Chris restaurant over by Hamilton Place Mall, located in the Embassy Suites Hotel. And Sunday was such a pleasant day, I popped open the sunroof and thought to make an afternoon of it. As I entered the bar, I was greeted by Megan and Jeff, who were tending to a tall metal tree-looking device with little bowls full of limes, cherries, olives and raspberries. I only assume that cocktails can get excited early over Christmas, too.



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Riffing from the band Yello from the “Ferris Bueller” soundtrack, I replied, “Oooh Yeah.” She concocted a perfect and classic vodka martini, this time using Ketel One with a smidge of dry vermouth. Because of the vermouth, this packs a little heavier punch than the previous cocktail. Ketel One is a wheat vodka from the Netherlands. It’s only been around for 300 more years than Tito’s and is named after the original copper pot it was distilled from, “Distileerketel #1”. That makes sense even if you don’t speak the language. It’s a very mild-spirited beverage with a slight citrus hint. It doesn’t grab you by the jaw and demand you taste it. It’s more like a wink from the really cool girl in the Van Gogh Museum with the knee boots and beret that leaves a little tingle on the back of your throat. Ahem…I digress. I whole-heartedly encourage you to go out and get your Garanimal on, and try these with your favorite mix preference. They are excellent and you can’t go wrong. However, the next time I sit down to either of these, I think I’ll just plop an ice cube in the glass...and take it all in.

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This day, said I, we are sticking to the classics. Without getting into details, on a Sunday afternoon, whirling colors and complicated recipes are a bit beyond my grasp or desire. Perusing the top shelf, Jeff and I decided on a couple of labels and decided to let Megan demonstrate her skills. First up to bat was Tito’s and tonic. That’s as refreshing and simple as you can get. Tito’s has been around for a fairly short time as far as liquors are concerned. Mr. Tito has only been distilling his vodka since 1997. Based in Austin, Tex., he’s doing his part of keeping it weird by producing yellow corn vodka instead of the usual wheat or potato varieties. And Tito’s no slouch when it comes to his process. He distills his vodka…one, two, three, four, five, six times! What that means is that this stuff is super pure and super smooth. I actually regretted having the tonic with it. Somehow, I felt that it would be perfectly comfortable standing on its own and contemplating the significance of the metal tree holding the garnishes. As I was surveying the bottom of my glass, Megan asked if I like olives stuffed with blue cheese.

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@athenschatt • october 17-23, 2013 • The Pulse • 27

Free Will Astrology

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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “The door to the invisible must be visible,” wrote the surrealist spiritual author Rene Daumal. This describes an opportunity that is on the verge of becoming available to you. The opportunity is still invisible simply because it has no precedents in your life; you can’t imagine what it is. But just recently a door to that unknown realm has become visible to you. I suggest you open it, even though you have almost no idea what’s on the other side. Open for lunch 11am-3pm Monday through Saturday (except for Tuesday) Come enjoy dinner and live entertainment from 5p-11p during our special nights: Monday: Broad Street Blues Band Wednesday: Wine Down Wednesday. Thursday: Feel It Thursday 96¢ cocktails 5-6, Open Mic & Brownstone Band Fri & Sat: 11pm to 3am DJ Touch, 25+

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SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In Tim Burton’s film "Alice in Wonderland", Alice asks the White Rabbit, “How long is forever?” The talking rabbit replies, “Sometimes, just one second.” That’s an important piece of information for you to keep in mind, Scorpio. It implies that “forever” may not necessarily, in all cases, last until the universe dies out five billion years from now. “Forever” might actually turn out to be one second or 90 minutes or a month or a year or who knows? So how does this apply to your life right now? Well, a situation you assumed was permanent could ultimately change—perhaps much faster than you have imagined. An apparently everlasting decree or perpetual feeling could unexpectedly shift, as if by magic. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “I need a little language such as lovers use,” wrote Virginia Woolf in her novel The Waves. “I need no words. Nothing neat . . . I need a howl; a cry.” If I’m reading the astrological omens correctly, Sagittarius, Woolf is speaking for you right now. You should be willing to get guttural and primal . . . to trust the teachings of silence and the crazy wisdom of your body . . . to exult in the inarticulate mysteries and bask in the dumfounding brilliance of the Eternal Wow. Are you brave enough to love what can’t be put into words? CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “I get bored with the idea of becoming a better listener,” writes business blogger Penelope Trunk. “Why would I do that when interrupting people is so much faster?” If your main goal is to impose your will on people and get things over with as soon as possible, Capricorn, by all means follow Trunk’s advice this week. But if you have other goals,

28 • The Pulse • october 17-23, 2013 •

like building consensus, finding out important information you don’t know yet, and winning help from people who feel affection for you— I suggest that you find out how to have maximum fun by being an excellent listener. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The last time meteorologists officially added a new type of cloud formation to the International Cloud Atlas was 1951. But they’re considering another one now. It’s called “asperatus,” which is derived from the Latin term undulatus asperatus, meaning “turbulent undulation.” According to the Cloud Appreciation Society, it resembles “the surface of a choppy sea from below.” But although it looks rough and agitated, it almost never brings a storm. Let’s make asperatus your mascot for the next few weeks. Aquarius. I suspect that you, too, will soon discover something new under the sun. It may at first look turbulent, but I bet it will mostly just be interesting. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Should you try private experiments that might generate intimate miracles? Yes! Should you dream up extravagant proposals and schedule midnight rendezvous! By all means! Should you pick up where your fantasies left off the last time you got too timid to explore further? Naturally! Should you find out what “as raw as the law allows” actually means? I encourage you! Should you question taboos that are no longer relevant? Most assuredly! Should you burn away the rotting pain with a show of liberated strength? Beyond a doubt! Should

ARIES (March 21-April 19): This is an indelicate oracle. If you’re offended by the mention of bodily functions in a prophetic context you should STOP READING NOW. Still here? OK. I was walking through my neighborhood when I spied an older woman standing over her aged Yorkshire Terrier next to a bush. The dog was in discomfort, squatting and shivering but unable to relieve himself. “He’s having trouble getting his business done,” his owner confided in me. “He’s been struggling for ten minutes.” I felt a rush of sympathy for the distressed creature. With a flourish of my hand, I said, “More power to you, little one. May you purge your burden.” The dog instantly defecated. Shrieking her approval, the woman exclaimed, “It’s like you waved a magic wand!” Now I am invoking my wizardry in your behalf, Aries, although in a less literal way: More power to you. May you purge your psychological burden. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “You won’t do it at the right time,” warns writer Kate Moller. “You’ll be late. You’ll be early. You’ll get re-routed. You’ll get delayed. You’ll change your mind. You’ll change your heart. It’s not going to turn out the way you thought it would.” And yet, Moller concludes—are you ready for the punch line?—”it will be better.” In describing your future, Taurus, I couldn’t have said it better myself. Fate may be comical in the way it plays with your expectations and plans, but I predict you will ultimately be glad about the outcome. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In the coming weeks, you Geminis could be skillful and even spectacular liars. You will have the potential to deceive more people, bend more truths, and even fool yourself better than anyone else. On the other hand, you will also have the knack to channel this same slipperiness in a different direction. You could tell imaginative stories that rouse people from their ruts. You might explore the positive aspects of Kurt Vonnegut’s theory that we tend to become what we pretend to be. Or you could simply be so creative and playful and improvisational in everything you do that you catalyze

a lot of inspirational fun. Which way will you go? CANCER (June 21-July 22): I’m all in favor of you indulging your instinct for self-protection. As a Cancerian myself, I understand that one of the ways you take good care of yourself is by making sure that you feel reasonably safe. Having said that, I also want to remind you that your mental and emotional health requires you to leave your comfort zone on a regular basis. Now is one of those times. The call to adventure will arrive soon. If you make yourself ready and eager for changes, the changes that come will kick your ass in mostly educational and pleasurable ways. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Who exactly do you want to be when you grow up, and what is the single most important experience you need in order to make that happen? What riches do you want to possess when you are finally wise enough to make enlightened use of them, and how can you boost your eligibility for those riches? Which one of your glorious dreams is not quite ripe enough for you to fulfill it, but is primed to be dramatically ripened in the coming weeks? If I were you, Leo, I would meditate on these questions. Answers will be forthcoming. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): At an elementary school festival some years ago, I performed the role of the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland. One of my tasks was to ask kids to make a wish, whereupon I sprinkled their heads with magic fairy dust. Some of the kids were skeptical about the whole business. They questioned the proposition that the fairy dust would make their wishes come true. A few were so suspicious that they walked away without making a wish or accepting the fairy dust. Yet every single one of those distrustful kids came back later to tell me they had changed their minds, and every single one asked me to bestow more than the usual amount of fairy dust. They are your role models, Virgo. Like them, you should return to the scene of your doubts and demand extra fairy dust. Homework: What would be the title of your autobiography? What’s the name of the rock band you’d be in? Testify at

Jonesin’ Crossword

matt jones

“A Little Diversion” -- be careful when you hear these.

Across 1 Gavel-banging shout 5 Word repeated before “hey” or after “Yo” 10 “This Is Spinal ___” 13 Three with close harmony, e.g. 14 Forester automaker 15 Aboriginal food source 16 Diversion tactic #1 18 “... a borrower ___ a lender be” 19 “Baloney!” 20 Heavy unit 21 Magazine edition 23 Diversion tactic #2 28 Toy advertised with the slogan “but they don’t fall down” 30 Speak eloquently 31 “Buffy” spinoff 32 Without a date 33 Physical measurement, for short 36 Diversion tactic #3 40 Furtive 41 Stub ___ (stumble)

42 Backwoods type 43 African language family 45 Unit named for a French physicist 46 With 56-across, diversion tactic #4 50 Hits the ground 51 To the ___ degree 52 Artist’s concern 55 Bank feature 56 See 46-across 61 Born, in a bridal bio 62 Like, yesterday 63 Flat-topped formation 64 Prime meridian setting: abbr. 65 Girl Scout cookie with caramel 66 Advanced writing degs. Down 1 Recipe instruction 2 “___ I’ve been told” 3 Upstart business, casually

4 Cartoon cringe catchphrase 5 Organic fertilizer 6 Group formed by Duane and Gregg, for short 7 “Anna and the King” actress ___ Ling 8 “Cold outside today!” 9 German twodoor sportscar 10 Angst-ridden 11 “My Cherie ___” (Stevie Wonder song) 12 Blender button 14 Add fuel to the fire 17 Bikini and others 22 “___ Done Him Wrong” (1933 Mae West film) 24 “Remote Control” host Ken 25 Oust the incumbent 26 Get rid of a voicemail 27 Newman’s Own rival 28 ___ and means 29 Hydroxyl compound 32 ___ voce 33 Person who pedals

stolen goods? 34 Harlem ___ (Central Park lake) 35 Doing nothing 37 Just chill 38 Mythological deities 39 “___ the mornin’ to ya!” 43 Letters on undies 44 “___ Fables” 45 “The Jetsons” dog 46 When doubled, essential oil used in shampoo 47 Hall colleague 48 Like some goals 49 Palindromic 1996 New York City Marathon winner ___ Catuna 53 Major in astronomy? 54 Greek letters 57 Shooting org. 58 ___ Kippur 59 “Bed-in for Peace” participant 60 “I’m thinking...”

Copyright © 2013 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0645 • october 17-23, 2013 • The Pulse • 29

On the Beat

alex teach

Sleep of the Civil Servant Sleep. I’ve spent a sizeable amount of my career on midnight shift, and of all the excitement, all the different things I’ve seen and done, that is the one word that comes to mind. It’s funny how you get to a point working 12-day shifts (hang tight, I’ll explain why that’s awesome instead of horrible) and as weeks blur into months, and months into years…it becomes an all-consuming quest. Even now, I’m writing this column and it’s all I’m thinking about: sleep. There are unlikely places to do it. Court comes to mind. We sit on these clearly intentionally uncomfortable solid wood armless benches and have the mundane traffic offenses of the universe paraded before us while assistant district sttorneys use the time to begin the day’s work of negotiating sentences before they go before the judges, and we’re doing this in a courtroom that starts an hour after our all-night shift has ended. What do I surmise from all this? They must want us to sleep. So who am I to argue? The trick to sleeping in court is you learn to “zombify”. You slip just below consciousness,

but above all-out snoring…programming your brain to respond to only your name or badge number to bring you out of your haze, like a hypnotist bringing out a patient they’ve put under. The first time I installed an “app killer” on my smartphone, it immediately made me think of my brain in court. OK, except for the “smart” part…but this is how we can sleep damn near anywhere; it’s just perfected in the judicial environment.

Sleep. Completely wasted on the young, and so easily taken for granted. There are few things more cruel that don’t involve spiders than sleep deprivation.

We work 12-day shifts because to work five and take two off like normal people, we’d spend one day asleep (or zombified) from being up the night before, maybe have one full day off, then have to stay up all day then night that first night back, only to have your sleep ruined four days later all over again. With a 12-day “work week”, we combine those days off and get four off in a row. Oh, you still feel like baked hell, but you only ruin your sleep patterns twice a month instead of four times. And sleeping at home? Single guys have it rough, but the ones living with someone (marriage, roommates, halfway house, etc.) are only slightly better off than those with kids. Children are perfect, cherubic little sponges of knowledge and the beacon of hope for our collective futures, but to the third shifter, they are little bags of earthquake-inducing germs with megaphones welded to each hand and barbells for feet. Seem harsh? Well, then…you’ve never worked midnights. Daylight is the other major enemy. If I’d recycled the aluminum foil I’ve used over a 12year period to block out sunlight from various rooms, I’d be

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RICK DAVIS GOLD & DIAMONDS 5301 Brainerd Rd at McBrien Rd • 423.499.9162 30 • The Pulse • october 17-23, 2013 •

named in Al Gore’s last will and testament. At one particularly low point, I made a bed in a walk-in closet out of clothing covered with a comforter. Why? No windows—and it was wonderful. Well, except for the fact that I was a grownass man sleeping in a closet on a pile of clothes, and all the emasculating closet-related jokes that go with that from cop roommates. But I did it. As I moved up in residences, I actually built out a room in a basement below my actual bedroom. Why? Same thing as the God-forsaken closet: No windows. Just imagine what it would take to ignore a California king, and instead choose an air mattress on a thinly covered concrete floor below it all. Add Enya and box fan for ambient noise? Babies don’t sleep as well. For legal reasons I won’t go too far into sleep aids, but there too we are experts. Diphenhydramine, melatonin: worthless. Hangover-inducing pills that actually deny you any good REM sleep, just making you feel like a different kind of shit instead of the “regular” feeling of shit that goes with sleep de-

privation…and you can’t drink yourself to sleep every morning because not only is that absolutely cost-prohibitive, what does drinking result in? A constant need to pee. Imagine, finally achieving sweet, sweet sleep, and having your bladder start knocking on your brain like it owes it money. Ugh. (For the record: The maker or makers of Ambien need to be given a Nobel Prize.) Sleep. Completely wasted on the young, and so easily taken for granted. There are few things more cruel that don’t involve spiders than sleep deprivation, so if you know of someone working Zombieland, please… fire off a little prayer for their psyche, and if you are in their company and you see a cat-like third eyelid slip over their cornea and that polite smile emits an occasional snore—just let it go. In fact… goodnight, folks.

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The Pulse 10.42 » October 17, 2013  

Chattanooga's Weekly Alternative

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