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YOU'RE LIKE THE WEATHERMAN

Written by Kyle Cossairt & Bret Jolliffe

LOGLINE A young girl takes a pregnancy test at her boyfriend's birthday party.


FADE IN: INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT Cramped aisles. Security cameras. No customers. The CLERK (45)Just putting in her time-Stares through the miniscule triangle of window not blocked by snacks and advertisements. DING. The door opens. VANESSA (18)The cute girl next door-Enters sheepishly. Completely dishevelled. The Clerk glances over. Vanessa, eyes on the tile, ducks down the first aisle. The clerk watches her. Partially in person, partially on the security monitor. Vanessa walks through the “pharmacy” sectionLooks around-Slides a box into her jacket. The Clerk leans closer to the monitor. Furrows her brow. Vanessa walks down the candy aislePuts a few five cent candies in a bag. She can’t make eye contact as she places the candy on the check out counter. CLERK Is this everything? Vanessa looks her in the eyes. Just for a second. Nods. The clerk rings it through, never taking her eyes off Vanessa. Stern, but ultimately sympathetic-CLERK (CONT’D) Twenty three cents.


2. Vanessa slides a quarter onto the counter. EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT Vanessa briskly walks away. Throws the candy in a trash bin. INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT Small. Crammed with hygiene products. A bit messy. There’s a CROWD outside the door. MUFFLED CONVERSATIONS. Vanessa sits on the edge of the tubHolding aPREGNANCY TEST. The bar slowly fills up with pink. Results undetermined. SUDDEN SILENCE. Someone TAPS on the bathroom door. GIRL’S VOICE (O.S.) (hushed whisper) Vanessa! He’s here. Hurry up. Vanessa tucks the test into her pocketCrushes the box and buries it in the trash. GIRL’S VOICE (CONT’D) (hushed whisper) Vanessa! Pinch it off! VANESSA One second! She looks in the mirror. Wipes her eyes. Smooths her hair. INT. HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Vanessa exits the bathroom at the same time as-TONY (18), the high school rock star, enters the house. CROWD (in drunk unison) Surprise!


3. Tony smiles at the APPLAUDING crowd. A ‘Happy Birthday’ sign droops over the door. One PARTYGOER shoots confetti in the airReceives a few awkward glances. Not a good idea. CROWD (CONT’D) (ad-lib) Happy birthday, Tony! Get ready to make some mistakes tonight! Dude, we got way too many perogies here! Tonight’s going to be awesome! His eyes find Vanessa. Smiles are exchanged, but something’s wrong. A FOOTBALL PLAYER, green in the face, muscles past Vanessa and stumbles into the bathroom. The door SLAMS. He HURLS. Vanessa stares as the PARTY CROWD swarms Tony. Vanessa.

GIRL’S VOICE

She looks over atBETH (19)-The high school gossip queen. BETH I heard he needs to talk to you. Tony?

VANESSA

BETH It’s not good either. Beth hands her a SHOT. BETH (CONT’D) You’ll need this. Vanessa ignores the offer and stares back at Tony. Beth looks at her, confused.


4. BETH (CONT’D) Since when? VANESSA I’m... not thirsty. Beth is skeptical. Enjoys the shot herself. INT. KITCHEN AREA - NIGHT A raucous bar scene. PARTY GUESTS surround Tony. His phone vibratesHe checks it-Glances up. Vanessa sits alone, looking at him. INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT The football player washes his face and stumbles out the door. As he leaves-Beth walks in and SCOFFS at the rancid vomit smell. BETH Nice one, Bo Dangles. INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Tony approaches Vanessa. She motions to the bedroom. Heads over. Tony looks around then follows her in. INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT Beth sits on the toilet and spins the empty paper rollGRUMBLES and scans her surroundings-Looks in the trash. Timidly takes the cleanest scrap of paper out of the plastic bin. ThenA double take--


5. Looking back into the trash. INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT Vanessa sits on the bed. Tony doesn’t. She looks up at him. Waiting. Nervous. Vee.

TONY

Vanessa’s lower lip quivers. Don’t (beat) I’m sorry.

TONY (CONT’D)

His stone cold face wants to melt. VANESSA Officially? Yeah.

TONY

A pause. Reluctant, but determined not to break. Fine.

VANESSA

He sits beside herVanessa shakes her head, no-She stands. Leans against the dresser. I wasn’t--

TONY

VANESSA Fuck off, Tony. She bites her nails. Stares into his eyes. Tony looks down. Leaves the room. Vanessa takes a deep breath.


6. BETH (O.S.) Oh my God! Who’s uterus let it’s guard down!? Vanessa’s eyes go wide. BETH (CONT’D) I want to breast feed it! The crowd outside rides the tidal wave of gossip. Vanessa inches the test out of her pocket-CLOSE UP: PREGNANCY TEST Negative. BACK TO SCENE. Vanessa tucks the test back in her pocketSits on the bed-Beth bursts into the room. A piece of the box in her hand. BETH Someone’s pregnant! (no reaction) Vanessa? She sits down next to Vanessa. Places the box by her side. BETH (CONT’D) He did it, didn’t her? (beat) I’ll make sure you don’t rebound with a fat ass. Beth rubs Vanessa’s back. BETH (CONT’D) Besides, everyone knows you’re way hotter than Amy. (moment) You should totally spread for Mitch tonight. Tony would kill himself. The door OPENSA groping GUY and GIRL stumble in. Sorry.

GIRL


7. GUY Hey, are you two... Vanessa looks up. BETH Leaving. Yes. You two have fun. (beat) But use a condom. Semen’s a bitch. Vanessa glares forward. The Guy and Girl awkwardly wait. Vanessa rises to her feet. VANESSA All those nice things he did. This is why. Have fun. Okay...

GIRL

Beth awkwardly follows Vanessa out of the room. INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Vanessa moves through the masses and seesTony’s leaning against a door jam. Smiling with friends. One of those friendsAMY (19)-Playfully slaps his shoulder. Elated by his jokes. INT. KITCHEN AREA - NIGHT Vanessa walks over to the counter. Facing the wall, concealing herselfShe pulls the pregnancy test outTakes the cap offSpins the gears within. POSITIVE.


8.

Shots!

GUEST

An impromptu BARTENDER fills multiple shot glasses. Vanessa reaches overSteals two. INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Vanessa walks towards Tony-Raises a shot. Takes it. Raises the next. Presses up against him. Slides the corrupted pregnancy test into his pocket. Cheers.

VANESSA

She heads for the door. Tony feels his pocket. Looks overVanessa takes the second shot on her way out. FADE OUT.


You're Like The Weatherman