Brittany Rapp My journey began when I was seven years old and was on a boat. My family and I were visiting my uncle and aunt and we all decided to go on a boat ride at his camp on Saratoga Lake. We were all having a blast until the moment where my mom saw I was staring into space. I honestly heard nothing that was being said to me but now I’ve been told what was said. The boat stops and people are just crowded around me. “Britt! Britt! Wake Up. Britt!” I start to shake and all of a sudden, thud; and I fall to the floor of the boat. “Shake, shake, shake, shake” is what happens. Pause. I look out in the distance and just keep my gaze. “Britt, come on honey, wake up, Britt, come back to me.” Five minutes later, I awake and am confused of why everyone is just circled around me and staring at me. My mom reaches for me and helps me up and gives me a hug and kiss. “How are you feeling?” she says to me. “Fine" with a confused remark. My head hurts though.” “Do you even know what happened sweetie?” “What do u mean what happened? We are riding the boat but I don’t understand why we stopped.” My mom looks at my dad with a concerned look. “Honey, I don’t know if you know what they are or if you will be able to understand it but you just had a seizure.” “I’m calling for my daughter Brittany Rapp, uhm she just had what I believe is a seizure and she doesn’t remember anything and I don’t know what else to do.” The doctor tells my mom to come in the next day. I go in and am scared out of my mind. “Mom, what does this machine do?” “I don’t know Britt we will find out soon.” A strange lady comes in that I have never seen before that was the doctor. “Hi Brittany, how are you doing today?” “Good.” Next thing I know is she is putting this icky stuff on these wires that connect to a computer and she’s attaching them all around my head. “What are you doing?” “I am going to be giving you an E.E.G. test so I can see the electrical activity of your brain to see why these seizures were caused.” I glance at my mom. She grabs my hand and says” it’s going to be alright, I’m right here.” After the test is over she prescribes me a medication to take so I can try to help my condition. “The kind of seizures you have Brittany are called epileptic seizures and I want you to take one and a half pills twice a day; once in the morning and once at night. Can you do that for me?” “Yeah.” Over the next course of the months I still would have to go get E.E.G. testing’s and the doctor ended up switching my medication. As weeks went by, my parents noticed I was gaining a lot of weight. I tended to never get full, I would sneak food to satisphy myself and I would eat huge portions. “Hi I’m calling for my daughter Brittany Rapp I have a concern about her. She is taking a medication and ever since we switched her father and I have noticed that she has gained a significant amount of weight and we didn’t know if the medication had anything to do with it?” “Okay well the doctor can see you tomorrow and can talk about it then.” “Okay thank you so much bye.” The next day at the doctor’s, the doctor bluntly told us that a crucial side effect of the medication that I was prescribed was extreme weight gain. “I’m very sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” Taking medication made me nervous. I absolutely hate taking medicine. It scares me. Because of this “fun little adventure” I had to experience, weight issues became a huge problem in my life. When I walked down the street people would look at me giving me this dirty look like I don’t know what they are thinking. I would look at myself in the mirror and think the exact same things people would say to me in school. “EW, look at her she’s so fat.” or “oh my gosh, she needs to exercise that’s so disgusting.” Or “ew she’s ugly.” It’s like people don’t think
I donâ€™t realize these things or think I have feelings. Honestly, it brought my self confidence down so much and going through the school years facing people was extremely hard. I always felt that the friends I did have were embarrassed of me. Growing up and out of the seizures and stopping all medications has made me conclude not to care what people think about me . Now when I look in the mirror I still have that little self doubt from all the years of bringing my self esteem way down but Iâ€™m slowly getting to the top bar and starting to believe in myself. I work out every day and I watch what I eat. I feel all that I went through as much as I hated it, made me a better and stronger person and just helps me live my life now and helped me accept who I really am and there is nothing wrong with that.
Published on Apr 30, 2010