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no doubt

personal

journey discussion Guide

Week 7


Week 6

Emotional Response TURN HURT INTO HEALING

GROUP JOURNEY NOTES Write down info and answers to questions that you want to remember from the group discussions.

RECON MISSION

In groups of 3 - 6, share your answers to these questions. 1. What are some emotionally motivated statements that people tend to make against the christian faith or believers?

2. Has someone you know ever been deeply hurt by someone in the church? Or by someone who claimed to be a believer? Can one person in the group share their experience?

3. When someone feels emotional pain, what do they need? What percentage of people, would you guess, associate hurt with God, religion, or someone in the church?

Group insights to remember and share:


INTELLIGENCE BRIEFING

Blessed are the Hurting and the Healing 1. Matthew 5:43-48. How does Jesus expect his followers to respond to their enemies, persecutors, and outsiders? What reason does he give?

2. Matthew 5:1-16. Which of these statements deal with those who are hurting? Those who are healing?

3. Is there a connection between loving enemies (vs 44,45) and being a peacemaker (vs 9?)

4. Are their practical and healthy ways to turn hurt into healing? Are there unhealthy ways to respond to hurt?

5. God cares about our emotional well being and wants us to be safe. There are some situations where a hurting co-worker, family member, or stranger can be abusive. In those situations we need to set healthy boundaries instead of engaging in healing ministry. What are situations where a person might need to set a boundary instead of engaging in healing ministry?

Group insights to remember and share:


TRAINING EXERCISE 1. In the video, what are Naomi’s techniques for validation through empathetic listening?

2. Take turns reading through these steps to Empathetic Listening as a group. a. Invite them to share about the hurt i. Recognize that the statement is full of emotion. They are hurting. My emotions are high. Decide to respond in love. Ask if they have been hurt. Are they are willing to share more about that experience. ii. “John, I’m hearing some real hurt in that statement. Is that correct? Would you share more about that?” b. Mirror back their feelings i. Don’t share unsolicited wisdom. Rephrase what they just said. Encourage them to elaborate on their feelings. You don’t have to agree with them, but let them know you have heard and understood. ii. “You feel like he didn’t do what he said he would?”, “So that made you feel betrayed. Right?” c. Validate - Let them know that their feeling/ need is reasonable. They are not crazy for feeling that way. d. Respond in Love i. Listen Again - Ask more follow-up questions. Give them the chance to continue sharing. Often there are many layers you need to go t hrough to get to the core emotional need. ii. Share - Ask for their permission to share your own perspective or common experiences. Sometimes people need to know that


iii.

someone else has been there too. Invite them to belong. After they feel validated and appreciated, invite them to join you at church / bible study, or invite them to hear your story of how Jesus changed your life.

3. Rollplay. Someone in the group volunteer to play the role of the hurting individual and share a doubt or complaint about faith that is loaded with emotion. Someone else in the group volunteer to practice empathetic listening. Invite them to share. Parrot back their statements. Validate their feelings. Others in the group, listen and be prepared to make suggestions when the other listener gets stuck and asks for help.

4. What happens to the original issue as empathetic listening continues?

5. After the person feels listened to and validated, what types of things can we invite them into?

Group insights to remember and share:

Personal journey assignments and group discussion wk7