Issuu on Google+

H a n d c u ffs

No Lawyer? No Problem!

Howto Prison Maxim’s Guide to the

No-Fail April Fools Pranks The Navy SEAL W orkout

World’s Weirdest Sports

Drinking Games Ever! (э о о а T im e s

^Hangovers Guaranteed! S e v e r a l b r a in s w e re h a r m e d d u r in g th e p r o d u c tio n o f th is is s u e .

A PRIL 201 4 M A XIM .C O M


As a kid, I went camping many summers w ith the Boys & Girls Club to learn about trees, water and wildlife...an experience I never forgot. Today, we support Waterkeeper Alliance to protect nature and keep our waterways clean for generations to come.’ J o h n P a u l D cJo rv a C E O a n d C o -fo u n d e r

Photographed * * * hr$ son (and Jo e )


PFIUL Mn'CHELL THE BEST IN PROFESSIONAL SALON HAIR CARE PRODUCTS G u aran teed only in salon s and Paul M itchell S c h o o ls paulm itchell.com


\

/ i'll Г/Г

Y-i'n V /l I

YOUR

\

/ V

$

* i

I

% m * v * sv ^ « u W » 4*

f e

s

"

'" к- - -ф»» . 1*

K en tu c k y U quki i i; SMOOTHNESS OF EVAN W IL L I AM W IT H A SWEET HONEY TAST1 Ш ^ Ш

3 5 % ALC./VOL.

( 7 0 TROOF)

SERIOUSLY GOOD BOURBON Think Wisely. Drink Wisely:

evanwilliams.com _f ,

. 'V

r p

^


KO R S; В RACELET, E K L E X IC F I S H E R ; W A T C H , M IC H A E L CUFF, J ENN IFER Z A N O T T I ; STUD HAT, V I N T A G E ; R IN G , D I A B O L I K IL L ; B O O T S , G IU S E P P E

PHOTOGRAPH

/

MARCELO

KRAS

I LCI С

TOP, C H R O M A T ; B O T T O M S , A L E S S A N D R O

D E L L ’A C Q U A , A L B R IG H T

FASHION

L IB R A R Y ;

APRIL

I’ve been through s h e riff’s training.

You h a ve th e rig h t to r e m a in d r o o lin g ! T V ’s h o t ­ t e s t c o p , C h ic a g o P .D .’s S o p h ia B u s h , p o s e s fo r an a r r e s tin g s h o o t. T h e n its s u p e rs e x y a n d h ila rio u s a c tr e s s M irc e a M o n ro e a n d a H o ttie lin g e rie s p e c ia lis t.

On th e Cover P h o to g r a p h b y M a r c e lo K r a s ilc ic S ty lis t, M ic h e la B u r a t t i/ A r t D e p a rtm e n t; h a ir, E a rl S im m s /K r a m e r + K ra m e r u s in g O rib e ; m a k e u p , D e v ra K in e r y /A r t D e p a rtm e n t fo r L a n c o m e ; m a n ic u re , A n d re a F u le rto n /F o rd m o d e ls . B o d y s u it, T om Ford. J e w e lry , (fro m le ft), b ra c e le t, v in ta g e ; c u ff a n d lin k b ra c e le t, J e n n ife r F is h e r. R in g s (fro m le ft), C h a r A n t; c h a in m a il rin g , J e n n ife r F is h e r; o n y x rin g , D ia b o li K ill.


• Circus Maximus

HowTo

Stu ff

A p r il F o o ls ’ D a y is h e re , s o le t t h e g u y s

W e ’ve c o m e b a c k f r o m t h e f u t u r e ( O K ,

w o r l d ’s s t u p i d e s t r e l i g i o n s . . . b u t n o t b e ­ f o r e w e o g l e B e y o n c e , c e l e b r a t e t h e h ig h fiv e , a n d t a g a l o n g on M a r l o n W a y a n s ’

fro m Im p ra c tic a l J o k e rs sh o w you how to p u ll t h e p e r f e c t p ra n k . T h e n g e t s c h o o l e d o n p u k in g in z e ro g r a v i t y a n d m a k in g t h e

b a c k f r o m a t r a d e s h o w ) w it h s o m e s lic k n e w t e c h . T h e a l l- n e w M u s t a n g G T e a r n s a p la c e in o u r g a r a g e , a n d t h e W o m a n

la s t d a y o n E a r t h . W h e w !

u l t i m a t e g r i lle d c h e e s e .

W it h a Tool e a r n s a p la c e in o u r h e a r ts .

(f e a t u

res

);

NICK

FERRARI

(s t y l e );S A M

KAPLAN

(h

o w to

)

W e ’ re g o i n g t o h e ll j u s t t o b r i n g y o u t h e

G r a b a S o lo c u p a n d t a k e a g u l p o f th e g r e a t e s t d r in k in g g a m e s ever. N e x t, b r e a k

Y o u ’ve g o t r e la t io n s h ip q u e s t io n s , a n d r o c k i n ’ H o m e t o w n H o t t i e s f i n a l i s t R ose

o u t o f p r is o n , le a rn t h e d i r t y t r u t h b e h in d y o u r p o r n , a n d m e e t p i t c h e r C .J . W ils o n a n d h is s u p e r m o d e l w ife . L u c k y b a s t a r d .

B u s t e r h a s r e la t i o n s h i p a n s w e r s . A n d if s h e d o e s n ’t c o m p l e t e l y d r iv e y o u w ild o u r o f f ic e c h a u f f e u r c e r t a i n l y will.

photographs

/

CARLOS

NUNEZ

(нот

sauce

);

В E N R ITTER

S p r i n g is f i n a l l y h e re , so w h y n o t g o o u t a n d t r e a t y o u r s e l f t o s o m e n ic e n e w c lo t h e s ? C l o t h e s like t h i s s w e a t e r !


HAGGAR C LO TH IN G

§ P R E S E N T S O U R NEW

LET’S START THE CONVERSATION ABOUT THE BEST SLACKS EVER MADE.

FREE

DRY

P R O U D L Y M A D E WI TH S O R B T E K F R O M U N I F I

a t

K o k L b & o t k c / t \ c t a l £ c / i b it c d u > « u u u le

Ш Ш б 1 1 В Б Т » 0 Ш М 1 « « П ( Н а т 1 П 5 1 Р П Е ! Ш 1 М Ю М V M B U Q IT H K C l

ш и б л н п в м м н ш с «и кп м лп ш ти п там ю отап м п гш Б ^ е^ ш м »


YO U H A V E E -M A IL .

Odds & Eva The J a n /F e b issue had you guys loving and loathing.

W e h a v e a n in - b o x . S e n d y o u r lo v e a n d h a t e to : le t t e r s @ m a x im . c o m

«ИА* «otl

Eva Forever Eva Longoria is once, twice, three times a Maxim cover girl [Jan/Feb]. I applaud

r.k o th fi Мах»

я

you and give you a standing ovation! — J o s e p h S u a z o , v ia e -m a il

8 * * S i

You're w elcom e, an d thanks f o r reading. Side note: I f “standing ovation” is cod e f o r

S fSn*»« B utto

som ething , p lease never write to us again!

^H E YEAR

Mystic Bullshit

_ ,

EVA

In Jan/Feb you guys had a psychic named Laura predict who was going to be in the Super Bowl [Circus Maximus]. She said anybody from the South, something about horses, and the Patriots. If she’s going to be honest, why doesn’t she just say she has no fucking idea? She already picked half o f the damn NFL. — D e r ik D ie m e r, v ia e -m a il

H old on a minute, D erik, a re you implying that a psychic is m aybe fu ll o f shit? Crazy!

Fightin’ Words

Kill ’Em W ith Hotness О

Incidentally , “shit” is a s accu rate a p re­ diction as could have been m ad e abou t this

Regarding the Maximum Warrior 4 contest

Salute to Derek Hutchison for winning

[“Running and Gunning,” November], I’m

Maximum Warrior, but where the hell

year's Super Bowl.

glad they’re on our side. However, if the need

are the hot female Warriors?

arises to rescue a dozen overweight fisher­

— D a y n a W a l k e r 1 s t S g t . , U .S . A r m y ( R e t . )

Our Bad

men from 2 0 0 miles offshore, extract a hiker

See the answ er to the next letter, Sarge.

In regard to your Q&A with Army Staff Sgt.

with a broken back, followed by a five-hour

Ту Carter [“Maxim's Hometown Heroes”],

night search in the middle o f the black ocean

Who is the hot blonde with the Makita

he is a Medal of Honor recipient, not

for an object the size o f a volleyball, you’d

rotary ham m er [“Woman With a Tool”]?

“winner.” Our nation’s highest award is

better contact a U.S. Coast Guard Helicopter

— A n th o n y , v ia e -m a il

not a popularity contest.

Rescue Swimmer. That is, if the 35 0 o f us

— S p c . C a s e y A s h f ie ld , v ia e -m a il

are not prosecuting other search-and-rescue

That's Hometown Hottie Shannon Ihrke, a M arine Sergeant. A m erica the beautiful!

P oor ch oice o f words, g reat choice o f hero. F or those who m issed it, we profiled Sta f f

operations. Keep up the good work. — B ra d , v ia e -m a il

Words W ith Dorks

Sgt. Carter, who received the M edal o f H onor f o r his heroism in Afghanistan. Once again, w esaluteyou!

S hou tou t to the USCG! Hey, MW 5 is starting up soon. Any H elicopter Rescue Swimmers g am e to com e show y o u r stuff?

Jan/Feb’s Stuff section says that I could use Oakley’s goggles to “home in” on my friends’ locations. If I wanted to “home in” on them I’d drive over and knock. It’s “hone in,” homies. — K ir k J . fr o m C le v e la n d , v ia e -m a il

Kirk, you totally m issed the point. We did want you to g o to y o u r frien ds'hou se. They'd E a c h m o n th M A X IM e m p t ie s it s s a c k fo r you.

p lan n ed a “g ra m m ar d ou ch e” intervention. (BTW, “h om e in”is correct. Check Webster’s.)

W E G O T IT IN T H E M A I L

Busting M ythBusters

The Pursuit of Hairiness

I’ve worked with hot lead for most o f my

T o s o m e b a l d is b e a u t i f u l . B u t w e f i n d b e a u t y i n a p r o d u c t t h a t m a s k s d e e p - r o o te d in s e c u ritie s a b o u t a g r o w i n g b a ld s p o t . E n t e r S u r e T h i k , a s h a k e r o f f i b e r s t h a t y o u s p r i n k l e in y o u r h a ir t o a d d g i r t h . It c a m e in t h e m a il o n e d a y , a n d a f t e r a f e w s h a k e s o n t o c h i e f c o n t e n t o f f i c e r D a n B o v a ’s h e a d , h is t h i n h a ir lo o k e d a s f u l l a s t h e g o r i l l a e s q u e p a t c h o n h is b a c k . $ 7 0 , s u r e th ik . c o m

life, and what the MythBusters say about

%

S u b t ' T ’h i f e N T**C*1»«N0nec*s

sticking your hand in hot lead [How To] is the stupidest thing I have ever read. — N a t L a n e , v ia e - m a i l

We'd type a witty reply, Nat, but we're having trouble becau se we ju st m elted fou rfin g ers o ff wwwsuremdLCCxn

ou r left h an d in a p o t o f m olten lead.

Текст 6

M A X I M

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

G O T O M A X I M . C O M

FOR

M O R E


Maxim in Bloom

Um, excuse m e , la d ie s , m y e yes are u p h ere.

Cure y o u r spring fe ve r with a dose o f M axim digital content. The o u td o o rs can wait.

Maxim.com C h e c k o u t our list V o f crazy springbreak crimes, then lock yourself in th e hotel till it’s tim e to go home. Are the men on your TV playing hoops or hockey? D on’t fre t— our super­ useful sp o rts guide will keep you informed.

a c e b o o k

)

W hat does your ^ 0 go-to drink say a b o u t your skills in bed? Finish th a t wine spritzer and find o u t here!

Facebook V o t e in o u r p o l l s a t F a c e b o o k . c o m / M a x im M a g a z in e to p ic k o u r n e x t c o v e r g irl! It’ s lik e b e in g a t o u r c o v e r m e e tin g s ,

T w itte r

In s ta g ra m

Xbox

K e e p t r a c k o f t h e h o t t e s t l i s t in t h e

F o llo w us a t @ M a x im M a g to g e t a

T u n e in a n d s e e M a x i m A c t i o n N e w s

w o rld b y fo llo w in g @ M a x im M a g a n d th e

b e h in d -th e -s c e n e s lo o k a t o u r s e x y

T e a m ’s C a m e ro n B e rk m a n go deep-

# M a x im H o tlO O h a s h ta g . T o ke e p tra c k

p h o t o s h o o t s . Y o u w o n ’t e v e n h a v e

b a s e b a lls d e e p !— w ith Y a n k e e s

o f t h e c o ld e s t lis t, f o llo w @ A n t a r c t ic a .

to d is g u is e y o u rs e lf!

le g e n d M a r ia n o R iv e ra .

photograph

/

CARLOS

NUNEZ

(t

w it t e r

),

EMI LY S H U R

(f

w ith o u t th e d o n u ts a n d c ry in g .

WOMAN

OF THE YEAR

long

*

Текст A P R I L

2 0 1 4

M A X I M


C-N

MAXIM

Stuff

F lig h t o f th e M a x im Reader

f

C H IE F C O N T E N T OFFICER

Dan Bova CREATIVE DIRECTOR

M A N A G IN G EDITOR

DIRECTOR O F PHO TO G R APH Y

Paul S cirecalabrisotto

Yeun Littlefield

A ndrea V olbrecht

D EPU TY EDITOR

E N TER TAIN M EN T DIRECTOR

SENIOR EDITOR

SENIO R ASSOCIATE EDITOR

David Swanson

Patrick Carone

Laura Leu

Stephanie Radvan

ART DIRECTOR

ASSO CIATE ART DIRECTOR

PHOTO EDITOR

David Zam dm er

O liver Yoo

Stacey Pittman

P R O D U C TIO N DIRECTOR

C O P Y CHIEF

RESEARCH CHIEF

G ustavo Gonzalez

Kenneth Gee

Christian Smith

STYLE EDITOR

M ILITARY ADVISER

Stan W illiam s

D akota M eyer

Dial-a-Reader M axim fa n H E N R Y FO G G w ro te in to sh are : “ I have a h e lla c io u s s c a r f r o m fa llin g o u t o f a p ic k u p w h ile s ittin g on a lawn chair.” O u r c h ie f c o n t e n t o ffic e r g a v e him a call.

W EST COAST W EST COAST EDITOR

ASSISTANT EDITOR

Ruth Hilton

Julian Stern

MAXIM.COM EXECUTIVE EDITOR

M A N A G IN G EDITOR

Nick Leftley

Heather Albano

DIRECTOR O F V ID E O C O N TEN T

PH O TO EDITOR

SENIOR ED ITO R IAL PRODUCER

Ken Shadford

Karis D oerner

Justine Goodm an

P R O D U C TIO N EDITOR

ASSISTANT EDITOR

ED ITO R IAL ASSISTANT

Bailey Sw illey

Cam eron Berkm an

Alexa Lyons

C H IE F F IN A N C IA L O FFICER

C H IE F O PERATING O FFIC ER

PUBLISH ER

Vincent Ohanyan

David Simcox

Sean Flanagan

FA S H IO N A N D ACCESSORIES

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR,

DETROIT

SALES M ANAG ER

INTEGRATED SALES

248-723-1023

Sharon Borawski

M ark M agnani

Peter Saad

D A N : H i, H e n r y , h o w a r e y o u ? H E N R Y : I’ m g o o d ! I’ m in m y t r u c k o n th e road rig h t now. T e ll us a b o u t th is s c a r. I w a s in an a c c i d e n t in 1 9 9 6 . W e w e r e b e in g i d i o t s , a n d I w a s s i t t i n g in a la w n c h a i r on a fla tb e d . W e w e re g o in g 8 0 m ph, s p in n in g o u t, and I w as h o l d i n g on. W e w e r e r u n n i n g o u t o f b e e r, s o w e w e r e d r iv i n g b a c k i n t o t o w n , a n d I le t g o f o r o n e s e c o n d a n d f l e w o u t.

M ID ATLA N TIC

renee@cleDDermedia.com

Renee Clepper LOS ANG ELES

SAN FR AN C ISC O

m ballantine@maxim.com

stevet@ m ediacentricinc.com

Mol lyBaliantine

Steve Thom pson DIRECT RESPONSE

wberger@ m ediapeople.com

W arren Berger VICE PRESIDENT, INTEGRATED M AR KETIN G

DIRECTORS, INTEG RATED M AR KETIN G

ART DIRECTOR

Jennifer Staiman

Colin Surprenant, M att Ciccone

Kathy Nestor

CO RPO RATE CO N TR O LLER

H U M A N RESOURCES DIRECTOR

DIRECTOR OF AD VER TISIN G OPERATIONS

Kyle M urray

Aysha Karachopan

Gisele Myer

M A N U FA C TU R IN G A N D

P R O D U C TIO N M AN AG ER

P U B LIC RELATIONS DIRECTOR

P R O M O TIO N S DIRECTOR

Navah M eller

A nnie Im am ura

Jeffrey Dowd SENIO R VICE PRESIDENT, DIG ITAL

Y ik e s ! It w a s h o r r e n d o u s . I h it m y head, and th e le fts id e o f m y s c a lp b a s ic a lly d ro o p e d d o w n o n t h e s id e o f m y fa c e . M y s k u ll w a s s h o w i n g . It l o o k e d lik e s o m e t h i n g o u t o f a s c i e n t i f i c m o v ie !

Bill Shaw

S w e e t Lo rd ! T h e y had t o g r a fts k in because th e re w as a th re e -in c h p a tch t h a t w a s g o n e . I t ’s p r o b a b l y s till h a n g in g o n a t r e e ! O r a b ird a te it! I d u n n o ! O h , a n d f r o m t h e s a m e i n c i d e n t , I h a d t h i s p im p l e

ALPHA MEDIA GROUP PRESIDENT

Ben Madden MAXIM WORLDWIDE BRAND LICENSING IN TE R N A TIO N A L

IN TER N ATIO N AL

SENIOR IN TE R N ATIO N A L

DEPUTY G ENERAL

P U B LIS H IN G M AN AG ER

ED ITO R IAL DIRECTOR

O PERATIONS M ANAG ER

COUNSEL

S tephanie M arino

Sim on Clays

Pauline Lam

Ian W arren

o n m y b a c k f o r y e a rs . O n e n i g h t I g o t d r u n k a n d c u t it w it h a r a z o r , a n d m a n if it w a s n ’t a r o c k t h a t g o t j a m m e d i n t h e r e a n d I’ d been c a rry in g a ro u n d fo ry e a rs .

MEDIA N E T W O R K E D IT O R S IN C H IEF A U S T R A L IA

A U S T R IA

B U L G A R IA

C Z E C H R E P U B L IC

GERMANY

IN D IA

IN D O N E S IA

ITALY

S a n ti P in ta d o

B o ris Etter

H risto Z a p ry a n o v

Ja n S te p a n e k

B o ris Etter

V iv e k P areek

R onald A d ria n H u ta g a lu n g

P aolo G elm i

R U S S IA

S O U T H A F R IC A

S O U T H K O R EA

S W IT Z E R L A N D

T H A IL A N D

U K R A IN E

U N IT E D

Sasha M a le n k o v

D irk S te e n e k a m p

Y o u n g -B e e Lee

B o ris E tter

S u ra w o n g K ru a e fa n

Sasha M a le n k o v

A lp h a M e d ia G ro u p

A n y o th e r m e d ic a l c o n d itio n s ? B e f o r e t h a t I fe ll o f f a c a r I w a s try in g to s u rfo n .

K IN G D O M

W e ll, g iv e n y o u r tr a c k re c o rd , Copyright ©2014 Alpha Media Publishing. Inc. MAXIM ® is a registered trademark owned by Alpha Media Group, Inc. All rights reserved. April 2014 issue. Volume 18 Number 3. Maxim is published monthly except for combined issues of Jan/Feb and July/Aug by Alpha Media Publishing. Inc., 415 Madison Avenue, New York, NY 10017. Tel 212-302-2626 Fax 212-302-2635 maximonline.com Canadian GST Registration U 867774580

S u b scrip tion inquiries, in clu d in g a dd re ss changes: V isit us at m axim .com /cu sto m e rse rvice o r w rite to M axim , PO Box 4 2 0 7 0 6 , Palm C o a s t FL 32142, or call 386-447-6312

m a y b e w e s h o u ld end th is ca ll a n d you s h o u ld c o n c e n ­ t r a t e on th e ro a d . H a - h a ! Y e a h , g o o d idea!


ADVERTISEMENT

MAXIM D o w n lo a d o u r a p p and w a tc h h o u rs o f h o t w o m e n , fu n n y vid e o s, d u d e s d o in g stu p id th in g s fo r y o u r a m u s e m e n t and so m uch m ore!

O N TH E SET O F O U R HOTTEST CELEB SHOOTS

M AXIM PARTY V ID E O S

M axim on Xbox 3 6 0 re q u ire s an Xbox LIVE G old m em bership (sold separately)


A M axim

View o f the

i

Г JOK,

UJ

CL

Z (Л (Л < J

=3 Й 5 < s

о

X j ^ S

.. cr

Ш ft (Г

0 ЧУ N Й I1 < § 5 £ £ fe S 5

X Ь — J (Л ^ о:

G E T TO K N O W ...

Lydia Hearst The stu n n in g s o cia lite and coach fro m th e m o d e lin g sh o w The Face w a n ts you to d ro p and give her 2 0 blue steels. Текст 1 О

M A X I M

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

У Й "s. u Id a z ш

ь w >. u (j < cr (_

Id i/l К

£L a £

x < 5 < 1 о L in g e rie H&M E a rrin g s R .J . G raziano R in g s S ty lis t’s own

ХП Ш fQ. о <

z

< Ш $

0a - z0 )^ O S *

о У _i2 X U Q.

U

<


©

H o m e to w n s : ^ A ^ a b b a n

T h e m o s t e m b a r r a s s i n g s o n g on

a nn d p З eъ v/ zer rlty, m ils

m y iP o d is

ЗеасЬ "

b y 1 ~ 5 f> c*n .

A s t r o l o g i c a l s ig n : ^'Г5 Л J o b : f i c - b r z s s / K A a d z l / v t c t f le r ■

T h e w o r s t p i c k u p lin e I e v e r h e a r d P e ts:

са-Ьл a y a n b ^ ^ p b ' a » ЙЛаи

I c a n w h o o p a n y g u y ’s a s s in

b e e r f>6*<j.

X Ic s J * *\u n u m b e r. C an nil У

X Uav e y c u r s :

A g u y is m o r e l i k e ly t o g e t lu c k y

T h e la s t th in g th a t m a d e m e L O L was " f i m t y A y . "

w i t h m e i f h e 1*5* * jjen-faem an. M y s p i r i t a n im a l is *

T h e w o r s t w o r d s in t h e u n iv e r s e are Ь а Ь у м а м ^ Uun^ a n d j a / s

was

.

T h e F ace a ir s W e d n e s d a y n i g h t s a t l O P.M. E T / P T o n O x y g e n .


Circus M axim us

PALM

. . .

Alert! BAD

LEADERS

RELIGIONS

A W ing Nut and a Prayer

G reat Highs in High Five H istory For N ational High Five Day (Apri117), we c e le ­ brate th e w o rld ’s b ro -ie s t hand gesture. Up top!

T hre e o f th e w o r ld ’s s tu p id e s t religious m o v e m e n ts . A m en. byADAM LINEHAN

C H U R C H O F E U T H A N A S IA

1977 A f t e r an H R , L.A. D o d g e r D u s ­ t y B a k e r ra is e s a h a n d to G le n n B urke, w ho c o n ­ s u m m a t e s h is ­ t o r y ’s f i r s t high f iv e — b u t m is s e s

1 9 8 0 H ig h fiv e is a d d e d t o th e O x fo rd D ic tio n ­ ary, d e f in e d as “ a g e s tu re o f c e l­ e b r a t io n in w h ic h t w o p e o p le s la p e a c h o t h e r ’s

2 0 0 2 N a t io n a l H ig h Five D a y ( N H 5 D ) is c r e a t ­ ed w h e n a g r o u p o f s tu d e n ts at t h e U n i v e r s it y o f V ir g in ia s e t up a s t a n d g iv in g

2 0 1 3 T h e T im b e rw o lv e s se ll $ 7 5 tic k e ts fo r th e ir m a t c h - u p w ith t h e H e a t, w h ic h in c lu d e s a h ig h fiv e w ith L e B r o n Jam es. A s th e y

a grea t chance to a rm p it-tic k le a b a s e b a ll le g e n d .

o p e n p a lm .” It

o u t le m o n a d e a n d h a n d s la p s . Today N H 5D u s e s t h e h ig h fiv e t o ra ise m o n e y fo r v a ri­ o u s c h a r itie s .

say, if y o u c a n ’t s t a n d t h e H e a t...

d o e s n ’t s o u n d so fu n w h e n y o u p u t it like t h a t , O x f o r d K illjo y - n a r y .

May we su g g e st a s lo g a n f o r w o m e n ’s h e a lth ? S la p H e re f o r P ap S m ear!

e x to rt som e m o n e y f r o m all

D e v o te d t o re d u cin g th e h u m a n p o p u l a t i o n t o re ­ s t o r e b a la n c e o n E a r t h , th is c u lt e n c o u ra g e s fo llo w e r s t o e n g a g e in s o d o m y , a b o r t i o n , s u ic id e , a n d c a n n i b a l i s m . N o w c lo s e y o u r eyes and tr y n o t to p u k e a s y o u i m a g in e w h a t a S u n d a y s e r v ic e lo o k s like. R E M N A N T F E L L O W S H IP

t h e i r fa n s .

G w e n S h a m b li n , f o u n d e r o f R e m n a n t F e llo w s h ip , ha s s o m e a d v ic e a b o u t g e t t i n g

2013 U S A Today dubs g o lfe r A d a m

i n t o h e a v e n : L o s e w e ig h t , f a t t y ! S h a m b lin e n c o u r a g e s f o l l o w e r s t o r e p la c e u n ­

0

S c o t t ’s p o s t - p u t t h a n d - l o c k w it h c a d d ie S te v e W illia m s “ t h e g r e a t e s t h ig h fiv e in s p o r t s h is ­ to ry .” L a t e r t h e i r p a lm s s m o k e d c ig a re tte s and b a s k e d in t h e a fte r g lo w .

h e a lth y s n a c k in g w ith p ra y ­ in g a n d r e a d i n g t h e B i b le , w h ic h , u n fo rtu n a te ly , does n o t h a v e a c r e a m y f illin g . B R E A T H A R IA N S

A c c o r d i n g t o B r e a t h a r ia n s , p e o p le g e t all t h e n u t r i e n t s th e y need by s im p ly b re a th ­ in g o x y g e n . U n f o r t u n a t e l y f o r t h e d e vo te e s, th e hum an b o d y a c t u a l l y r e q u ir e s f o o d a n d w a t e r t o s u r v iv e , so th e ir s p iritu a l jo u rn e y s t e n d t o c u l m i n a t e in a s lo w , p a in f u l d e a t h . A n d e x tre m e ly bad b re ath .

S tu p id u m b re lla ! T h is c o u ld h a v e b e e n th e s e x ie s t w e t T - s h ir t c o n t e s t e ve r!

QUIZ TIME

Pain or Gain? A re th e s e a th le te s v ic to rio u s o r very, ve ry h u rt?

ANSWERS

g‘i7‘2:u!B9G‘i:u!Bd

Текст


W e e t h e p e o p le !

GAG

REEL

Porn Blooper of the Month In w hich w e slog th ro u g h h o u r s a n d h o u rs o f X -rate d film s t o find fa c tu a l errors. T h a t’s how m o s t p e o p le w a tc h p o rn , rig h t? Id e a l C o m ­ p a n io n is t h e ta le o f tw o s c ie n tis ts w h o a re c o n t r a c t e d b y t h e g o v e r n m e n t t o b u ild a r o b o t i c s u p e r s o ld ie r . T h e r o b o t is e q u ip p e d w ith c o m b a t fa tig u e s , a r if le , a n d , o f c o u r s e , a n e n o r m o u s b o n e r. I t ’s a ls o e q u i p p e d w it h

P u t t in g th e p in p a t r io t is m .

a con d o m . Um, why? S ure, ru b b e rs reduce th e chance of preg­ n a n c y a n d S T D s in h u m a n s , b u t t h e y ’ re

UNCLE

u nnecessary when i t c o m e s t o s c r e w in g b o t s . W h ic h is w h y w e

SHAM

have a lw a y s w a n te d t o b o n e R o s ie J e t s o n .

Your Tax Dollars at Twerk A s ta x day a p p ro a c h e s , re m e m b e r th a t yo u r h a rd -e a rn e d d o u g h is, in so m e cases, being literally flu sh e d dow n th e to ile t. b y B R I A N C U L L E N TAX FUNDS: $ 3 2 5 ,0 0 0

^

G O VERNM ENT AGENCY:

il l u s t r a t io n

/

R. KI KUO

JOHNSON

_W

T A X F U N D S : $ 3 m illio n

TAX FUNDS: $ 7 0 0 ,0 0 0 I GOVERNMENTAGENCY:

N a t io n a l S c ie n c e F o u n d a tio n P R O J E C T : B u ild in g r o b o t s q u ir r e ls

D e p a rtm e n t o f A g ric u ltu re P R O J E C T : S tu d y in g m e th a n e re ­

N a t io n a l S c ie n c e F o u n d a tio n P R O J E C T : S tu d y in g how s ic k a n d

t o s t u d y r o d e n t s ’ r e la t io n s h i p w ith s n a k e s . To m a k e m a t t e r s w o r s e , th is is a c t u a l l y t h e le a s t fu n t h i n g y o u c a n d o w it h a n a r m y o f r o b o t s q u ir r e ls .

le a s e d in c o w b u r p s a n d f a r t s . T h e ir

h e a lt h y s h r i m p p e r f o r m o n a t r e a d ­ m ill. R e s u lt s w e r e c o n c lu s iv e : S h r im p j o g g i n g on a t i n y t r e a d m il l is t h e c u t e s t t h i n g ever.

TAX FUNDS: $ 1 0 ,0 0 0 GOVERNMENTAGENCY:

D e p a r t m e n t o f T r a n s p o r ta tio n P R O J E C T : In s ta llin g t a l k i n g u rin a l c a k e s in b a r b a t h r o o m s t h a t e n c o u r ­ a g e p a t r o n s t o ca ll a c a b if t h e y ’ re d r u n k . N o t e t o d r in k e r s : If y o u r u rin e e v e r t a l k s b a c k t o y o u , c a ll a c a b .

W

GOVERNMENTAGENCY:

f i n d in g s ? M o s t e m is s io n s c o m e f r o m b e lc h e s . O u r f i n d i n g s ? A ll m e t h a n e e m is s io n s a re h ila r io u s . TAX FUNDS: $ 5 1 6 ,0 0 0 _________G O V E R N M E N T A G E N C Y :

N a t io n a l S c ie n c e F o u n d a tio n P R O J E C T : C r e a t in g a v id e o g a m e a b o u t t h e w e e k le a d in g u p t o p ro m n ig h t. C o in c id e n t a lly , i t ’s a l s o t h e a m o u n t w e ’ve s p e n t on t h e r a p y s in c e o u r o w n p r o m n ig h t.

W

TAX FUNDS: $ 1 0 0 ,0 0 0 GOVERNMENTAGENCY:

N a t io n a l S c ie n c e F o u n d a tio n P R O J E C T : R e s e a r c h in g W o r ld o f W arc ra ft. A t $ 1 5 p e r m o n t h , t h a t m e a n s r e s e a r c h e r s h a v e p ic k e d u p a s u b ­ s c r ip t io n f o r t h e n e x t 5 5 5 y e a rs . L o o k f o r r e s u lt s in J a n u a r y 2 5 6 9 !

Текст GO

TO

M A X I M . C O M

FOR

M O R E

APRI L

2014

MA X I M

1 3


Circus M axim us

Entertainment

O ne-E yed B andits B efore Sam J a c k s o n played Nick Fury in C aptain A m e rica : The W inter S o ld ie r (out April 4), David H a s s e lh o ff wore a patch in N ick Fury: A g e n t o f S.H.I.E.L.D. W ho has more one-eyed badassery? 9 DAVID

HASSELHO FF

Pretty Woman, Reckless Rock

© S A M U E L L.

JAC K SO N

TAYLOR M O M S E N a n d

th e P r e t t y R e c k le s s are b a c k a n d r e a d y t o ro c k y o u r p a n ts off.

T O P IC

The H o ff

Mr. C ool

N IC K N A M E

W h e th e r ra is in g hell in SICs t y le RE

MOST q u o ted

L IN E

f o r G u n s n ’ R o s e s w it h h e r a lt-m e ta l band th e P re tty R e c k le s s ,T a y lo r M om sen

“ I have had it w ith th e s e m o th e rfu c k in g s n a k e s on th is m o th e rfu c k in g p la n e .”

h a s lo n g b e e n b lo w in g o u r m in d s a n d e a rs . N o w , w it h

i

(S /

V IR A L V ID E O

t h e i r n e w a lb u m , G o in g to H e ll, M o m s e n a n d c r e w are t u r n i n g m o r e t h a n t h e i r

n u r s e r y r h y m e p a r o d y v id e o u r g in g A m e r i c a n s t o “ w a k e th e fu c k u p ” and vo te O bam a.

a m p l i f i e r s on. “ I m a g e a n d s e x in m u s ic ha ve a lw a y s

I

In r e s p o n s e t o p e o p le o p e n in g fa k e s o c ia l n e t w o r k i n g a c c o u n t s in his n a m e , H a s s e l h o f f la u n c h e d his o w n s o c ia l n e t w o r k , H o f f S p a c e .

O BSTACLES OVERCOME

C la im s th e w ord

g o n e h a n d in h a n d , b u t t h e m u s ic h a s t o be th e f o c u s , ” s h e t o l d us la s t fa ll.

m o th e r fu c k e r h e lp e d him w ard o ff a s tu tte r h e ’s b a ttle d since c h ild h o o d .

“ T h is a lb u m is d e f i n i t e l y a s t e p f o r w a r d f r o m t h e la s t r e c o rd , s o I’ m j u s t e x c it e d f o r e v e r y o n e t o h e a r it a n d t o g o b a c k o n to u r.” J u s t

N O TABLE

Pam A n d e rs o n ’s b o o b s

FAKE

d o n ’t e x p e c t a l i t t l e J e n n y H u m p h r e y a c t. “ I t ’s a re a lly e c le c t i c m ix w h e n w e p la y

Yoda

COSTARS

G erm ans

W IN N E R

->

FAN B A S E

live,” s a y s M o m s e n . “ W e ’ve li t e r a ll y h a d p a r e n t s c a ll t h e c o p s s a y in g o u r s h o w

E v e ry o n e (b e c a u s e th e y ’re scared o f w h a t w ill h ap p en if th e y ’re n o t)

w as in a p p ro p ria te fo r th e ir k id s .” U g h , M o m , y o u ’ re s o e m b a r r a s s in g !

J a c k s o n is th e m o th e rfu c k in g w in n er, m o th e rfu c k e rs !

Текст M A X I M

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

GO

TO

M A X I M . C O M

FOR

M O R E

)

V e g a s h o tel flo o r w h ile b e in g c h a s tis e d by his te e n a g e d a u g h te r.

F o r t h e 2012 p r e s id e n tia l e l e c t io n , J a c k s o n r e le a s e d a

o m se n

D ru n k e n ly e a ts a c h e e s e b u rg e r o ff a

(m

(J

G o s s ip G ir l o r o p e n in g

B a c k w a rd -w o rn K an g o l hat

SCHEUNEMANN

“ D o n ’t h a s s le t h e H o f f ! ”

^

/ DIANA

Q

photograph

S k i m p y red s w im t r u n k s


Time travel at the speed of a 1935 Speedster? T h e 1 9 3 0 s b rou gh t u n p reced ented in n o ­

a full refund o f th e p u rchase price. If you

v atio n in m a ch in e-a g e te c h n o lo g y an d

h av e an a p p re cia tio n for classic design

m aterials. In d u strial d esig n ers fro m th e

w ith

a u to in d u stry translated th e p rin cip les of

Dashtronk W atch is b u ilt for you . T h is

a e ro d y n a m ics

in to

w atch is a lim ited e d itio n , so please act

everyday o b je c ts like radios and toasters.

quickly. O u r last tw o lim ited e d itio n

It was a lso a d ecad e w h en an u nequ aled

w atches are to tally sold out!

an d

s tre a m lin in g

p recisio n

accu racy,

th e

1930s

v ariety o f w atch cases an d m o v e m e n ts

Not A vailable in Stow s

ca m e in to b ein g . In lieu o f hands to tell tim e, o n e su ch co m p lica tio n , called a ju m p in g m e ch a n ism , utilized n u m erals o n a d isc view ed th ro u g h a w indow . W ith its strik in g re se m b la n ce to th e

True to Machine A rt esthetics, the sleek brushed stainless steel case is clear on the thick, allowing a pivk at the inner workings.

d ash board gauges and radio dials of th e

ju m p in g c o m p lic a tio n ). T h e stain less

d ecad e, th e ju m p hour w atch w as indeed

steel 1 */2* case is co m p le m e n te d w ith a

" in tu n e ” w ith th e tim es!

b la ck allig a to r-em b o ssed le a th e r b an d .

T h e Stau er I 931h Dashtronk deftly blends

T h e h an d is 9 1/2* lo n g a n d w ill fit a

th e m o d ern fu n c tio n a lity o f a 2 1 -jew el

7 - 8 1/2’ d iam eter w rist.

a u to m a tic m o v e m e n t an d 3-ЛТМ w ater

Try th e Stauer 1930sDashtronk W'atch for

resistan ce w ith th e d istin ctiv e , retro look

3 0 days an d if you are n o t receiv in g

o f a ju m p in g d isp lay (n o t a n actu al

c o m p lim e n ts, please return th e w atch for

Stauer 1930s Dashtronic Watch $99 fS&H pr 3 easy credit card paym ents of S33 +S&H

CutU now to take a/hutntj^e o f tint limited offer.

1 800 859-1602 -

-

P ro m o tio n a l (lo d e D R W 9 6 2 -0 3 llcasc mention this code when you call.

StAUCV®

--------------------- ^

14101 S o u th e rn * D r i w W.*

IV p i. DKW 962-03 Btumvillc. M m i K v t i j S V 3 7

w w w .s ta u tT .to m

$ B8B

ACC»€0<TED BUSINESS

Hating of A+


Circus M axim us

urst

M arlon W ayans H e’s starring in A H a u n te d H o u s e 2, but who will the funnym an frig h te n a fte r he really kicks the bucket?

h e a v e n w i t h all t h e v ir g in s

A n y t h i n g t h a t in v o lv e s d e c a p i t a t i o n . T h a t lo o k s p a in fu l. C a n ’t b e r e s u r ­ re c te d w ith o u t a head!

a n d p r u d e s ? N o t me. W h e r e ’s t h e s t r i p p e r s ? !

Do you have any d e a th ­ b ed c o n fe s s io n s ? I a i n ’t c o n f e s s i n g n o t h i n g on m y d e a t h b e d . I h e ld d i r t all t h e s e y e a r s . W h y s ta r t te llin g tru th th e n ? H o w a b o u t a fa m ily s e c r e t y o u w o u l d lik e to g e t o ff y o u r c h e s t? M y f a m i l y s e c r e t is — a n d y o u h a v e t o p r o m is e n o t t o t e l l a n y o n e — I’ m t h e m o s t w e ll-e n d o w e d o f th e W a y a n s b ro th e rs . W o u ld y o u r a th e r s p e n d e te r n ity as a W h ite C h ic k o r a L ittle M an? I’d p r o b a b l y s p e n d it a s a L i t t l e M a n . I c o u l d s e e up s k i r t s , s o I’d b e w in n in g .

If y o u c o u ld c o m e b a c k and haunt som ebody w h o ’ s s t i l l a l i v e , lik e a g h o u l f r o m A H a u n te d H o u s e , w h o w o u ld it be and w hy? I’d c o m e b a c k a n d h a u n t every ro tte n m o th e rfu c k e r th a t ow ed me money. W h a t ’s y o u r la s t m e a l? I’d p r o b a b l y h a v e a s o u p o r s a la d . S o m e t h i n g lig h t, s in c e I’ m g o n n a p o o m y ­ s e l f s h o r t l y a fte r.

W h o w o u ld w in a b ra w l in t h e a f t e r l i f e : y o u a n d y o u r b ro th e rs o r th e M a rx B ro th e rs ? O h, w e w o u ld s to m p th e M a r x B r o t h e r s o u t. E s p e ­ c ia l ly t h a t ill n * * * * w it h

W h a t b o o k do you m o s t

t h e h o rn . B u t t h e T h r e e S t o o g e s w o u l d f u c k us up. T h e y ’ re g a n g s t e r !

re g re t n o t fin is h in g ? T h e B i b le , e s p e c i a l l y s in c e I’ m b e in g j u d g e d . “ H ey, G od , I w as g e ttin g a ro u n d t o it. C o m e o n , b u d d y ! I» N a m e o n e t h i n g y o u ’ re g l a d y o u ’ ll n e v e r h a v e t o d o a g a in o n E a rth . S u c k d ic k fo r m oney. N o b o d y ’s g o n n a re a d t h is , a re t h e y ? W h a t’s th e w ild e s t th in g you e v e r d id w h ile yo u w e r e a li v e ? D o e s s u c k in g d ic k fo r m one y c o u n t?

*

W h a t w o m a n d id y o u a l­ w a y s w a n t to s le e p w ith ? P a u la D e e n , b e c a u s e a s i d e f r o m b e in g r a c is t , she m akes som e bom bass co rn brea d. A nd yo u ju s t k n o w she has M a n d in g o fa n ta s ie s . W h a t a re p e o p le s a y in g o v e r y o u r c a s k e t? “ Man, th a t dude was f u n n y a s fu c k ! I» G o t a n y la s t w o rd s ? See A H a u n te d H o u se 2 on M arch 2 8 so I can s to p s u c k in g d ic k fo r m oney.

N АЦ. . .

MACGREGOR

you d e fin ite ly n o t w a n t?

W h ile y o u w e re a liv e , w h a t d id y o u s p e n d th e m o s t m o n e y on? I spent m ost of my money on m y fa m ily , e s p e c i a l l y m y k id s . O h , a n d d e s i g n e r sn e a ke rs fo r Daddy.

/ ANDY

W h a t k i n d o f S c a ry M o We - s t y l e d e a t h w o u l d

W ill yo u b e g o in g to h e a v e n o r h e ll, a n d w h y ? I’ ll p r o b a b l y g o t o h e ll, w h i c h is c o o l b e c a u s e all m y f r i e n d s w ill be t h e r e . H e ll is g o n n a be a p a r t y ! W h o w a n t s t o be up in

il l u s t r a t io n

H ow do you w a n t to go? I w a n n a d ie h a v in g se x. R e t u r n t o t h e s a m e p la c e I c a m e fro m .

\

V


Circus M axim us

/ Obsession

Beyonce The s tu n n in g sin ge r is g o o d a t hiding secrets. Thankfully, her g lo rio u s legs a re n ’t one o f them .

tv

A fe w m o n th s ago Beyonce, our m ost f a v o r i t e c h ild o f d e s tin y , m a d e a n d re le a s e d an e n t i r e v is u a l a l b u m w i t h ­ o u t t e l l i n g us b e f o r e h a n d . W e ’ re n o t g o i n g t o t a k e it a s a s l i g h t , s in c e t h e s u p e r s e x y s o n g s t r e s s is k n o w n f o r h e r s e c re tiv e n a tu re . R e m e m b e r w h e n s h e t r i e d t o h id e h e r re la tio n s h ip w ith h er n o w h u s b a n d , J a y Z ? O r h e r e a rly p r e g n a n c y w i t h B l u e Iv y ? O r th a t tim e she w h is p e re d , “ I lo v e y o u . L e t ’ s s p e n d o u r liv e s t o g e t h e r a n d m a k e a m il l io n B e y o n c e - M a x / m b a b ie s ” ? O K , th a t one w as n e v e r re v e a le d to th e p u b lic ...u n til now. P e rh a p s o u t: S h e c o u ld n e v e r tr u ly

¥

й


Circus M axim us

Ask Maxim

GOT А QUESTION? S e n d i t to a s k @ m a x im .c o m

F in a lly liv in g o u t h is S c ro o g e M c D u c k fa n ta s y .

C an you tra in insects? — B en S tre p o F o r g e t a b o u t s t a r t i n g a fle a c ir c u s : T u rn s o u t a n o t h e r in s e c t is t h e b e e ’s k n e e s w h e n it c o m e s t o p e r f o r m ­ ing. O h io S t a t e e n t o m o l o ­ g i s t D a n ie l H e r m s g iv e s us t h e b u zz: “ H o n e y b e e s have e x c e lle n t c o g n i t i v e s k ills a n d c a n in d e e d b e t r a in e d . ” In f a c t , t h e y ’ve b e e n t a u g h t t o lo c a t e e x p lo s iv e s . Yawn. C a ll us w h e n t h e y le a rn t o p a r a lle l- p a r k .

W hat is th e m ost money anybody has won playing th e slots? — Liam N elson In 2 0 0 3 a 2 5 - y e a r - o l d s o f t w a r e e n g in e e r b e a t o d d s o f 16.7 m illio n t o o n e a n d c a s h e d in f o r $ 3 9 , 7 1 0 , 8 2 6 . 3 6 — t h e la r g e s t j a c k p o t e v e r — p la y in g a s lo t m a c h in e a t t h e E x c a l ib u r H o te l C a s in o in L a s V e g a s . T h e m a n d e c id e d t o k e e p h is i d e n t i t y a s e c r e t , b u t w e s u s p e c t he c a n be r e c o g n i z e d by t h e h u m o n g o u s c h a n g e p u r s e he c a r r ie s a r o u n d .

W h y d o n ’t c a ts hum p hum ans like d o gs do? — J o s h K lein S o m e c a t s are h a p p y h u m p e r s , t o o . U n n e u te r e d m a le s m a y use b la n k e t s a s s ta n d ins f o r girl c a ts , a c c o r d in g to A S P C A a n i m a l b e h a v io r is t K a t Miller. B u t u nlike d o g s — w h o ’ ll h u m p m o s t a n y t h i n g f o r a v a r ie ty o f r e a s o n s — “ C a t s p rim a r ily h u m p o t h e r c a t s a n d o n ly w h e n m a tin g .” W h ic h e x p la in s w h y Mr. W h is k e r s re b u ffe d o u r le g ’s a d v a n c e s th e o t h e r n ig h t.

W e ll, t h a t e x p la in s t h a t d a y ’s g re a t s tre a m in g q u a lity .

o u r l u c k y n ic k e l?

16 P e r c e n t a g e t h a t v ie w in g s on P o r n H u b . c o m d e c r e a s e d o n E a s t e r S u n d a y in 2 0 1 3 . T h o s e e g g

8 2 . 8 L ife e x p e c t a n c y in S w it z e r la n d , t h e w o r l d ’s h ig h e s t . H o p e t h o s e

h u n t s c a n be q u i t e o r g a s m ic .

c u c k o o c l o c k s are b u ilt t o last.

/ JASON

g e r s le a v e a t T S A c h e c k p o in ts each ye a r. S h i t , w h e r e ’s

il l u s t r a t io n s

A m o u n t , in d o lla r s , o f change passen­

SCHNEIDER

Bar Trivia


Circus Ma

Twit Wit T w e e ts t o live by. O liv ia W ild e @ o l iv i a w i ld e Ith in k ln s ta g ra m s h o u ld c o n f i r m p e o p le w a n t to p ost a duckf a c e s e l f ie b e f o r e t h e y do it and if th e y say yes t h e i r p h o n e m e lt s .

M y g i r l f r i e n d a n d I a l w a y s h a v e t h e s e m a s s iv e a r g u m e n t s , f o l l o w e d b y i n c r e d ib l e m a k e - u p s e x . T h a t ’ s w h a t I lo v e a b o u t h e r — s h e w o n ’t g o d o w n w i t h o u t a f i g h t . — PATRICK W A LK ER

I t o o k m y 9 2 - y e a r - o l d d a d t o t h e m a ll t h e o t h e r d a y t o b u y s o m e n e w s h o e s . W e d e c id e d t o g r a b a b i t e a t t h e f o o d c o u r t. I n o t i c e d he w a s w a t c h i n g a t e e n a g e b o y s i t t i n g n e x t t o him . T h e t e e n a g e r h a d s p ik e d h a ir in all d i f f e r e n t c o lo r s : g r e e n , re d , o r a n g e , a n d b lu e . M y d a d k e p t s t a r i n g a t h im . T h e t e e n a g e r g o t a n n o y e d a n d a s k e d , “ W h a t ’ s t h e m a t t e r , o ld m a n , n e v e r d o n e a n y t h i n g w ild in y o u r lif e ? ” W i t h o u t m i s s ­ in g a b e a t , m y d a d r e p lie d , “ G o t d r u n k o n c e a n d fu c k e d a p e a c o c k . I w a s ju s t w o n d e rin g if you

44 9

'

«

w e r e m y s o n .” — g e o f f a n d e r s o n

\

i ENTER HERE!

J A N / F E B ’ S W IN N E R :

M a x im .c o m /

T h e r u n n in g o f t h e b a lls .

c o n te s ts *

— Ryan D ry

W IN T H I S !

A nchorm an 2:

il l u s t r a t io n s

/ LARS

LEETARU

The L e g e n d C o n t i n u e s on B lu -ra y + D V D

Vм.

+ D ig it a l HD. P lu s, w e ’ll t h r o w

V

J A

in a $ 5 0 0 g if t c e rtific a te fo r a C r u is e A m e r ic a R V re n ta l! * N O P U R C H A S E N E C E S S A R Y T O E N T E R O R W IN . V O I D W H E R E P R O H IB I T E D . O p e n o n ly to le g a l U.S. r e s id e n t s , 1 8 y e a r s o r o ld e r. C o n t e s t b e g in s M a rc h 15, 2 0 1 4 a n d e n d s A p r il 7, 2 0 1 4 . O d d s o f w in n in g d e p e n d on n u m b e r o f e lig ib le e n tr ie s r e c e iv e d . For e n t r y a n d o f f ic ia l r u le s w ith c o m p le t e e n try , e lig ib ilit y , p riz e , a n d o t h e r d e t a ils , g o to w w w . m a x im . c o m . S p o n s o r e d b y A lp h a M e d ia G r o u p Inc.

Текст A P R I L

2 0 1 4

M A X I M

1

9


There ure class action Settlements involving D R A M , a memory part that is sokl by itself or as pan o f electronic devices such as computers, printers, and video game consoles.

If You Bought Computers, Printers, Video Game Consoles,

The lawsuits claim that the Defendants lixed the price o f D R A M causing individuals and businesses to pay more for D R A M and DRAM -containing devices. The Defendants deny that they did an> thing wrong.

W ho is included in the Settlements? Individuals and businesses that: •

Purchased D R A M or a device containing D R A M any w here in the U .S. between 1998 and 200 2,

For their own use or for resale.

Purchases are

or Other Devices with Memory

noi

made

directly

included

(see

from the

a list

DRAM of

manufacturer

manufacturers

at

w w w .D RA M claim s.com or by calling I -8 0 0 -5 8 9 -1 4 2 5 ).

W hat do the Settlements provide? The combined Settlements total S 3 1 0 million. The amount o f money you will receive depends on the type and quantity o f electronic devices you purchased anti the total number o f claim s made.

Get Money from $310 million Settlement

Fligible individuals and businesses are expected to gel a minimum $ 1 0 payment and perhaps much more,

Large

purchasers could recover many thousands o f dollars.

How can I get a payment? Claim online or by mail by August 1 . 2014. The simple online Claim Form only lakes 3 -5 minutes for most individuals.

What are my rights? Even if you do nothing you will be bound by the Court's

Simple Online Claim Form Takes 3-5 Minutes

decisions. If you want to keep your right to sue the Defendants yourself, you must exclude yourself from the Settlement Class by M ay 5 , 2014. If you stay in the Settlement Class, you may object to the Settlements by M ay 5 . 2014. The Court will hold a hearing on J u n e 2 5 . 2 0 1 4 at 9 :0 0 a.m . to consider whether to approve the Settlements and a request for attorneys’ fees up to 25*/f o f the Settlement Fund, plus reimbursement o f costs and expenses. You or your ow n law yer may appear anti speak at the hearing at your own expense.

State Attorneys General are Participating

For More Information:

1-800-589-1425 www.DRAMclaims.com Text: “ DRAM** to 9 6 0 0 0 (You may receive notifications via text. Message & Data rates may apply.)


myone Need a la s t-m in u te A pril Fools’ Day id e a ? T h e guys from Im p ra c tic a l J o k e rs have a fe w tric k s up th e ir sleeves.

О

I

eason3 с l r n p r a c t ic . J o k e rs re s u in e s 1 on Tru T V A p r i l 2 7 J Z tlO P .M .

31

W

F R IE N D

COW ORKER

PARENTS

N E IG H B O R

O T H E R N E IG H B O R

If y o u ’ re a t a b a s e ­ b a ll g a m e w i t h a c o u p le o f y o u r b u d ­

C o m e u p w it h an e n tire ly fa b ric a te d re su m e fo r y o u r

H a v e n ’t y o u p u t t h e s e p o o r p e o p le th ro u g h en o u g h ?

T u r n s o u t y o u r c a b le T V re m o te can c o n ­ t r o l e v e r y o n e e l s e ’s,

B u y a life - s iz e d o g s t u f f e d a n im a l. C u t it o p e n , p u t a b ig

d ie s , w h y n o t p a y $ lO O t o h a v e o n e o f th e m p ro p o s e to t h e o t h e r up o n t h e Ju m b o T ro n ? T here is n o t h i n g a b u n c h o f d r u n k s p o r t s fa n s lo v e m o r e t h a n t o h e a r th a t Rod w a n ts to spen d th e rest o f his life w it h B a rry .

c o ll e a g u e . M a k e it s e e m lik e h e ’s c l a i m ­ ing t o be t h e h e a d o f th e w h o le co m p a n y. H e ll, m a k e it s e e m like he f o u n d e d th e com pany. Then le a v e a c o p y o f t h e f a k e r e s u m e on t h e o f f ic e c o p i e r f o r y o u r b o s s t o fin d .

Leave th e m a lo n e — or ch a n g e every c l o c k in t h e i r h o u s e

to o . L a te a t n ig h t cre e p up to yo u r n e i g h b o r ’s w i n d o w and use y o u r re m o te t o t u r n on t h e i r TV. D o th is several n i g h t s in a row. E v e n t u a l l y t h e y ’ ll c o n c lu d e th a t a g h o s t is o b s e s s e d w ith re ru n s o f M onk.

e m p t y p l a s t ic b o t t l e in s id e , a n d h id e it by th e rear w h e e l o f t h e i r car. W h e n t h e y p u ll o u t a n d h e a r t h e c r u n c h , ru n o v e r a n d y e ll, “ S k ip p y , w h e r e a re y o u ? ” T h e n fra n tic a lly a s k t h e m if t h e y ’ve seen y o u r new pup.

t o d i f f e r e n t t im e s . R e v e l in t h e i r c o n ­ f u s io n a s t h e y e a t d in n e r a t 3 P .M . a n d w o n d e r w h y th e y a re s o t ir e d w h e n “ i t ’s o n ly 8 P .M .” ... b u t i t ’s r e a lly 2 A . M .


EAT A G IA N T

W S A N D W IC H A n h o u r b e fo re th e

tw o a b o u t w e ig h t­ le s s n e s s , s o I p a id h im a v is it. A f t e r p o r in g o v e r t h e l a t ­

f l i g h t , it w a s t im e to m e e t a d iffe re n t k in d o f h e ro . I’ m ta lk in g a b o u t one w ith p ro s c iu tto , c a p i c o la , p r o v o lo n e ,

end o f 2015. T w e n ty f iv e m e n a n d w o m e n w e re s e le c t e d f o r

e s t M a xim ( s e r i o u s ­ ly, he c o u l d n ’t p u t it d o w n ) , Dr. A l d r in

h o t p e p p e rs, le t­ tu c e , to m a to , and b a l s a m i c v in e g a r ,

t h e m is s io n . A s t h e y boa rded a bus to a

assure d me th a t “ n o t eve ry a s tro ­

z e r o - g r a v it y t r a i n ­ ing p la n e n e a r C a p e C a n a v e r a l, I s n u c k o n w it h th e m .

n a u t is c u t f r o m t h e s a m e m o ld .” D o e s b e in g c u t f r o m a

w r a p p e d u p in a c r u s t y Ita lia n roll. T h e re w ere C h e e to s o n t h e s id e , a n d I w a s h e d it all d o w n w ith a C oke. B urp.

J e l l - O m o ld c o u n t ?

Текст

A G E T

ON

W BOARD T h e re c ru its and I b o a r d e d G -F orce O ne, a m o d i f i e d B o e i n g 7 2 7 ru n b y a c o m p a n y c a lle d Z ero-G . T h e “ v o m it c o m e t,” p o p u la riz e d by a s im ila r a irc ra ft u s e d in A p o llo 73, a c h ie v e s w e i g h t ­ le s s n e s s by a e ro ­ b a tic m a n e u v e rs k n o w n a s p a r a b o la s . I fa ile d g e o m e try , s o I h a d no id e a w h a t t h i s m e a n t.

A T R Y NO T TO W M A K E A MESS T h e p la n e m a d e 12 “ w e i g h t l e s s ” d iv e s . A t f i r s t it w a s d i s o r i ­ e n t in g b u t fu n . A b o u t h a lfw a y th ro u g h I fe lt a C h e e to c o m ­ in g u p . N o t w a n t i n g to cover anyone e ls e in liq u id lu n c h , I flo a te d to th e b a c k o f t h e p la n e , s tra p p e d m y s e lf in, a n d s e a le d m y m o u th w ith a v o m it bag. O n e g ia n t h e a v e f o r m a n k in d !

(4 & 5 )

A

R APO ZA/ZER O -G

W E L IT E G R O U P O v e r a m illio n a p p l i ­ c a n ts fro m around t h e w o r ld c o m p e t e d in a c o n t e s t s p o n ­ sored by A x e to rid e o n a p a s s e n g e r s p a c e s h u t t l e b y th e

A T A L K TO AN W ASTRONAUT L e g e n d a ry space p io n e e r B u z z A l d r i n k n o w s a th in g or

BRYAN

J O IN AN

OF

A

/ AXE (i & 2); C O U R T E S Y IL L U S T R A T IO N / J ESSE L E N Z

T h a n k s to th e A xe A p o llo S p a c e A ca d e m y, M a x im ’s P A T R IC K C A R O N E b o ld ly puked w here no man has puked before.

PHOTOGRAPHS

Toss Your Cookies in Zero G ravity


ADVERTISEMENT

MAXIM NOWIN T-SHIRT FLAVOR! T he b ig g e s t c o m p la in t w e g e t h ere at M axim is th a t you guys and girls c a n ’t fin d a g o o d M axim T-shirt. W ell, m a yb e th a t’s n o t th e b ig g e s t co m p la in t, b u t w e like to start w ith th e easy stuff. So h e re ’s a range o f c o m fo rta b le , stylish shirts g u a ra n te e d to suit any occasio n w h e re it’s a p p ro p ria te to turn up w e a rin g a T-shirt. Enjoy!

MAXI

»

i

To purchase, go to shop.maxim.com


A tta c k a Mac ’n’ Cheese M onster To c e le b ra te Grilled C heese M onth, C h e f M IC H A E L F E R R A R O a t D elicatessen N.Y.C. adds som e mac to your fa vo rite m e lty sandwich.

ch e e se curds • I6 s lic e s beer b re a d

s i m m e r w h ile w h is k in g . C o o k f o r IO m in u te s o v e r lo w h e a t.

f o r f o u r m in u te s . 6 . M ix p a s ta , cheese sauce, c o r n e d b e e f,

f o r 3 - 4 m in u te s p e r side.

s a u e rk ra u t,

T o a s t in oven f o r s ix m in u te s , e n jo y , t h e n have a h e a rt a tta c k . 9.

P a irs w e ll w ith a th re e h o u r nap.

e v a n s /a p o s t r o p h e

lb. e lb o w m a c a r o n i,

• 3/ a

o v e r lo w h e a t

S T Y L I N G , KAREN

s a u e rk ra u t, r o u g h ly chopped • Уг c u p d ic e d

curds, and c ro u ­ t o n s t o g e t h e r in a la r g e b o w l. C o o l a n d re s e rv e . 7. B u tte r b ee r b r e a d a n d la y e r w it h t h e m i x a n d r e m a in in g S w is s cheese. e .S a u te in b u tte r

FOOD

and ground caraw a y seeds • 3 T b s . R u s s ia n d r e s s in g

• 1 V2 cups ry e bread c ro u to n s 0 /4 - in c h c u b e s )

1. P r e h e a t oven t o 3 0 0 ° F. 2. W h is k f l o u r and b u tte r t o g e t h e r in a sa u ce p a n fo r fiv e m in u t e s o v e r m e d iu m h e a t. 3 . P o u r in m ilk and b rin g to a

W h is k in c h e d dar, m a s c a r p o n e , a n d 3 / a c u p S w is s cheese. Season w ith n u t m e g , s a lt, a n d p e p p e r. 5 . Toss c ro u to n s w ith c a r a w a y seedsand R u s s ia n d r e s s ­ ing. T o a s t in o v e n

4.

KAPLAN

g r a t e d S w is s cheese

• Уг Tbs. toasted

• 2 V2 cu ps d ic e d b r a is e d c o rn b e e f ( V a in ch c u b e s ) • 1 c u p p ic k le d

METHOD

SAM

• V ^cu p b u tte r • 4 -c u p s w h o le m ilk • Уг c u p g r a t e d V e r m o n t y e llo w che d d a rch ee se • 1/ 2 c u p m a s c a r pone cheese • 3/ a cup + 1 / 8 cup

c o o k e d in s a ltw a te r

/

• V ^ c u p flo u r

ts p . g ra te d n u tm e g • S a lta n d p e p p e r •V a

PHOTOGRAPH

I N G R E D IE N T S


B e s t b a ll h a n d le r s in c e J e n n a Jam eson

S te p

A

«

0 Play Hoops in Spanish H a rd w o o d m a t a ­ d o r R IC K Y R U B IO s h a re s his tip s f o r p a s s in g and p ic k in g p la y e r s ’ p o c k e ts .

S te p

3

I

H a n d l e S m a l l B a l ls “ T r a in in g a f t e r m y A C L in ju r y w a s t o u g h , b u t I s t i l l im p r o v e d m y b a llh a n d li n g s k ills . I’ d s i t in a c h a ir a n d d r i b b l e w it h b o th hands, bounce

Make a Sm oke Grenade Useful fo r g e ttin g o f f o f a d e s e rt island, or g e ttin g y o u r h o t n e ig h b o r’s a tte n tio n . M aterials • P o ta s s iu m n itra te • Sugar • E m p ty film c o n ta in e r • Pen • B o x o f m a tc h e s • S tra w • Tissue • Tape • P a p e r c lip • R u b b e r band • E m p ty t o ile t p a p e r roll • Fire e x tin g u is h e r

M ix t h r e e p a r t s p o ta s s iu m n itra te ( o r d e r it o n lin e o r b u y

О

©

it a s s t u m p r e m o v e r a t a h a rd w a re s to re ) t o t w o p a r t s s u g a r in a s k i l le t , p r e f e r a b l y o n an o u td o o r s to v e to p .

a r in g a n d t a p e s t r i k e r s t o it, f a c i n g e a c h o th e r .

O v e r lo w h e a t , s t ir t ill s u g a r is c a r a ­ m e liz e d a n d t h e m ix is l iq u e f ie d . D o n o t le t it b u r n — it c o u l d ig n ite !

©

P o u r m ix t u r e in to f ilm c o n t a i n e r a n d s t i c k a p e n in it t o m a k e s p a c e f o r t h e fu s e . P la c e in a n ice b a t h t o c o o l f o r up t o an hour.

/ CHRI S

PH I L P O T

©

IL L U S T R A T IO N S

Is it t r u e t h a t s m o k in g w ill s t u n t m y g r o w th ?

Fill a s t r a w w it h m a tc h heads, s e ­ c u r in g t h e m in s id e w it h tis s u e a t b o th ends.

О

Tape m a tc h e s a ro u n d th e end o f t h e s tr a w , h e a d s o u t.

©

C u t o ff th e s trik e rs on t h e m a t c h b o x . B e n d a p a p e r c lip in t o

P u t th e s trik e rs a n d t h e p a p e r c lip a ro u n d th e m a tc h s t i c k s a n d s e c u r e w it h a ru b b e r band.

О О

S tic k th e m a tc h f u s e in t h e film

c o n t a in e r . T h e n p la c e t h e g r e n a d e in t h e t o i l e t p a p e r roll w it h t h e f u s e s t i c k i n g o u t.

©

Tape th e c o n ta in e r up a ro u n d th e fu s e

to p ro te c t y o u r h a n d s f r o m t h e h e a t, k e e p in g a s m a ll h o le a r o u n d t h e fu s e a t th e to p .

B r in g it o u t s i d e a n d p u ll rin g hard t o s e t it o ff. S m o k e ’em if you g o t ’ em !

t w o b a lls a t o n c e , a n d s p e n d all d a y o n p a s s ­ in g a n d s h o o t i n g d r ills . N o w t h a t I’ m h e a lth y , I lik e t o d r i b b l e a t e n n i s b a ll, t r y i n g m y b a s k e t ­ b a ll m o v e s w i t h a b a ll t h a t ’ s m u c h s m a lle r a n d h a r d e r t o h a n d le .” G e t C re a tiv e “ I g re w up fo llo w in g M a g ic J o h n s o n a n d P i s t o l P e t e M a ra v ic h . T h e y w e r e all a b o u t cre a tin g new m oves a n d h a v in g f u n w i t h t h e b a ll. W h e n I’ m o n t h e c o u r t , I v ie w m y s e l f a s a n a r t i s t w i t h a b la n k c a n v a s ; th e in s p ira tio n co m e s w hen I have th e b a ll. I a lw a y s h a v e a g o o d tim e and tr y to g e t t h e b a ll w h e r e n o ­ b o d y e x p e c t s it t o g o . ” T a k e P r i d e in T h i e v e r y “ I w a t c h a l o t o f v id e o . I l o o k a t a t e a m ’s D a n d f i n d t h e h o le s s o I kn o w how to fa ce th e m o f f e n s iv e ly . I a ls o s t u d y o th e r p o in t g u a rd s so I can a n tic ip a te th e ir m oves and ste a l the b a ll f r o m t h e m . It m u s t h e lp , b e c a u s e I’ m a m o n g t h e t o p in t h e l e a g u e in s t e a ls . ’»

Текст GO

TO

M A X I M . C O M

FOR

M O R E

APRI L

2014

MA X I M

2 5


G et SEA L Strong A u th o r o f 8 Weeks to S E A L F it M A R K D IV IN E on m a ste rin g fo u r d o m a in s th a t s e p a r a te th e boys from th e badasses.

О

STRENGTH

T h is is a b o u t d e v e lo p i n g a f o u n d a t i o n a l f u n c t io n a l s t r e n g t h s o y o u c a n c a r r y y o u r lo a d w it h in a t e a m . T r a in in g : F o c u s on t o t a l b o d y m o v e m e n t s t h a t a re f u n c t i o n a l : t h e d e a d lift, t h e b a c k s q u a t , t h e b e n c h p r e s s , a n d t h e p u s h p re s s . I n c o r p o r a t e o n e o f t h e s e m o v e s in t o y o u r w o r k o u t e a c h day, s t a r t i n g w it h a lo w n u m b e r o f re p s a t a h ig h w e i g h t p e r c e n t a g e . For e x a m p le , o n e s e t o f t h r e e r e p s a t fiv e p e r c e n t b e lo w y o u r r e p e t i t i o n m a x im u m ( R M ) a n d t h e n t h r e e s e t s o f t h r e e r e p s a t Ю p e r c e n t b e lo w y o u r R M .

©

W O R K C A P A C IT Y

You n e e d t h e a b i l i t y t o d o an in t e n s e a m o u n t o f w o r k in a s h o r t t im e , a n d t h e r e ’s no b e t t e r w a y t o d e v e l o p it t h a n C r o s s F i t - s t y l e in t e r v a l t r a in in g . T r a in in g : T h e s e e x e r c is e s a re a l m o s t t h e o p p o s i t e o f w h a t w e d e v e lo p e d in s t r e n g t h a n d s ta m in a . A s t a n d ­ ard e x a m p le : R un 8 0 0 m e t e r s p lu s Ю r o u n d s o f k e ttle ball s w in g s , Ю p u s h - u p s , Ю a ir s q u a t s , Ю s it- u p s , f o llo w e d by a n o t h e r 8 0 0 - m e t e r ru n , d o n e as f a s t a s p o s s ib le . Y o u ’re w o r k in g a t an 8 0 t o l O O p e r c e n t i n t e n ­ s ity le v e l, w h ic h y o u c a n o n ly s u s t a in f o r 2 0 m in u te s .

©

S t a m in a is c r u c ia l t o S E A L t r a i n in g b e c a u s e y o u w o r k o u t in t h e m o r n in g , b u t t h e n y o u g o in to t h e f ie ld a n d w o r k all d a y lo n g . T r a in in g : Take t h e p r im a r y s t r e n g t h lift t h a t y o u j u s t w o r k e d — l e t ’s s a y t h e b a c k s q u a t — a n d g o a t 5 0 t o 6 0 p e r c e n t o f RM t o w o r k m o r e v o lu m e . T h e n a d d m o re e x e r c is e s t h a t u se an o p p o s i t e o r c o m p l e m e n ­ t a r y m o tio n , a n d a b u d d y - o r i e n t e d c o m p o n e n t , s u c h a s l O b a c k s q u a t s a t 18 5 p o u n d s , 2 0 b o x ju m p s , a n d a 5 0 - m e t e r b u d d y ca rry. R e p e a t f o r t h r e e t o fiv e ro u n d s .

©

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

D U R A B IL IT Y

T h is is t h e d o m a in o f p r e r e h a b i l it a t io n : k e e p in g

y o u r b o d y f r o m b r e a k in g a n d t r a in i n g t h r o u g h in ju rie s . T r a in in g : “ P r e r e h a b ” in c lu d e s s p r in t s , y o g a , m o b i l i t y d r ills , j o i n t a r t i c u l a t i o n , r a n g e - o f - m o t i o n d r ills , a n d c l a s s i c N a v y S E A L g r i n d e r P T c o r e e x e r c is e s like s i t - u p s . E nd e a c h d a y ’ s t r a in i n g w it h s o m e c a p a c i t y o f d u r a b i l i t y t r a i n i n g , e v e n if it is j u s t Ю х Ю О - m e t e r s p r i n t s a n d s o m e y o g a , like a s u n s a l u t a t i o n . 8 W e e k s t o S E A L F i t is o u t o n A p r i l 7.

Текст M A X I M

S T A M IN A


ATTENTION MEN!

FREE

Free-Testosterone Releasing Formula Sets New Bar!

MONTH SUPPLY SEE DETAILS BELOW

NEW SCIENTIFIC BREAKTHROUGH

ABOUT TESTOSTERONE

M E N - H E R E ’S T H E PRO BLEM _ 9 8 “o o f tcstostcnxK is B< )U N D (useless), leasing «xilv an alarming 2°b F R E E and A C T IV E to a<klrcss the essential characteristics that make you a man - Innlding muscle, maintaining a healthy SEX D R IV E and more!

Testosterone is a hormone that travels in the hloodstream, directly affecting the following: • Sex Drive, E rectile Function Sperm Production

and

• M uscle Mass. W eig h t jmi Bone D ensity

T H E S C IE N C E :

• H air G row th

T -R e le a s e is a p rop rietary m ixtu re o f natural compounds specially formulated in a patent pending delivery system that helps increase absorption using our unique L O Z E N G E T A B S, allowing for greater bioavailability and efficacy o f ingredients.

• H eart H ealth • M ood, M ental Focus jmi C ognition • Im m une System • Energy Starting at age 30, testosteron e levels decline by approximately 1°b every year. By age 30 or so, a man mav have lost a full 20% o f his to tal # testosterone, affecting both physical and mental performance via lower energy levels. D ID Y O U K N O W your Ixxly consists o f Ixxh F R E E ami B O U N D testosterone? F R E E te s to s te ro n e travels the bloodstream untxiund, while other testosterone arc bound to various types o f protein molecules. B O U N D te s to s te ro n e is N O T A C T IV E and th erefore C A N N O T P E R F O R M th e same role as F R E E A C T IV E testosterone! T o start y iH ir F R F E T e s t m

te ro n e

T- R e l e a s e

A N D T H E S O LU T IO N

In lik e i|ucstional)k- testosterone "txx>stcrs“,T -Release is a ground-breaking formula that actually disrupts the binding pnx:css to R E L E A S E greater levels o f crucial F R E E and A C T IV E testosterone. Best o f all. it works fast! In a sample size o f study p articip ants on a tw ice daily dosing regim en o f T- Release . onset o f increased sex drive occurred w ithin 2-3 days*. B O T T O M L IN E : T-Release works because o f (I) a patent pending delivery system for maximum ahsoqnion that ( 2) d isru p ts te s to s te r o n e from b in d in g to o th e r m olecu les and th e re fo re b e co m in g in activ e T -R clcase enhances the volume and lifespan o f FR E E testosterone!

r e g im e n t o d a y , c a l l

1- 8 0 0 - 2 16 - 1 * 3 5

o r s e e d e t a ils b e lo w . . .

OVTAM T e u m t M t W T

,

M

TABS

To Learn More: Call 1-800-246-1435 •

FAST-ACTING PATENT PENDING DELIVERY SYSTEM

OPTIMAL NATURAL FREE TESTOSTERONE-RELEASING FORMULA

ENHANCED LIBIDO. PERFORMANCE. MUSCLE TONE. STAMINA 6 ENERGY

fFJPfT Form ula ♦ D elivery System On c e

yo u t r y it . yo u ' l l

NEVER

w a n t t o go w it h o u t a g a in

CONFIDENT. YOUR PURCHASE IS EVEN PROTECTED BY A

Just

call

I-800-2A6-IA35

o r v is it

RISK-FREE - WE'LL EVEN THROW IN A

-

it ' s t h a t s im p l e .

We

re so

30-DAY MONEY BACK GUARANTEE1

G e tT R e le a s e

coh t o o r d e r

FREE MONTH SUPPLY!

2

pa c k s to day

Want more on the Science behind T-Releese ? Go to: w w w GetTRelease com


h is m o n t h m a r k s th e 5 0 th a n n iv e rs a ry o f th e M u s t a n g ’s m u s c l e - b o u n d e x is t e n c e , a n d F ord is

P la n tin D e t r o it , t h e 2 0 1 5 M u s ta n g G T e m e rg e s a s le e k e r , n im b le r , a n d m ore s o p h is tic a te d v e r­ s io n o f it s f o r m e r s e lf. Its

s t e e p e r s lo p in g w i n d o w s h a r k b a c k t o t h e S te v e M cQ u e e n days. U nder t h e h o o d t h e G T is a llA m e r i c a n m u s c le , w i t h an

r e a r s u s p e n s io n . P r ic e w is e t h e G T s h o u ld r e m a in w e ll w it h in r e a c h o f h o n ­ e s t, re d -b lo o d e d A m e r i­ c a n s . S o roll up t h o s e

h o n o rin g th e o c c a s io n by r o llin g o u t t h e s l ic k ­

lo w e r, w i d e r s t a n c e le n d s a d d i t i o n a l p o is e t o t h e M u s t a n g ’s a lr e a d y s t r a p ­ p in g s i l h o u e t t e , w h ile

upg ra d e d 5 .0 -lite r V -8 . F or a g i l i t y ’s s a k e , F ord has e q u ip p e d th e new m o d e l w it h i n d e p e n d e n t

s h i r t s le e v e s a n d f ir e up a M a r l b o r o , c o w b o y : T h is p o n y a i n ’t g o in g t o d r iv e it s e lf. — A d a m L in e h a n

к

e s t p o n y c a r y e t. From t h e F la t R o c k A s s e m b l y

Текст M A X I M

A P R I L

2 0 1 4


Spec Check PR IC E

TBA E N G IN E

5 .0 -lite r V -8 HORSEPOWER

420 TORQUE

3 9 0 lb.-ft. 0-60 TBA TOP SPEED

1 5 5 mph (lim ite d )

j *

@ Cinematic ’Stangs

N o c a r has re p p e d A m e ric a on film like th e M u s ta n g

B U L L IT T ( 1 9 6 8 )

G O N E IN 6 0 S E C O N D S M e m p h i s R a in e s ( N i c C a g e )

I AM LEGEND (2 0 0 7 ) L iv in g a lo n e in a z o m b ie in fe s te d w o rld w o u ld su ck...

N E E D FOR S P E E D (2 0 1 4 ) E v e n t h o u g h h e ’s n o l o n g e r J e s s e P in k m a n , A a ro n Paul

Lt. F r a n k B u l l i t t ( S t e v e M cQ u e e n ) p ilo ts a 1 9 ^ 8

( 2000)

G T 3 9 0 t h r o u g h t h e h ills o f S a n F r a n c is c o in t h e g r e a t ­ e s t c a r c h 0 se in f i l m h is t o r y .

is a c a r t h i e f w i t h b r a s s b a lls , a le a d f o o t , a n d a 1 9 6 7 S h e lb y G T 5 0 0 n a m e d - E le a n o r .

u n le s s y o u ’ re c r u i s i n g a r o u n d in a *’ 0 7 S h e l b y G T 5 0 0 k i l l i n g e v e r y t h i n g in s ig h t .

s till has a “ ta s te fo r h a s te ” th a n k s to th is m o d ifie d 2 0 1 3 S h e lb y G T 5 0 0 .


s,u" Woman

Tool О

a

/

B e h in d th e scenes at K in g K o n g ’s v a s e c to m y

\

j

Текст 3о

M A X I M

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

S W IM S U IT . E A G E N C Y . MIKOH A N T O N /C E L E S T IN

CARRILLO A G E N C Y ; H A IR , WILL PHOTOGRAPH

/

S t

A G E N C Y ; M A K E U P , JENNA

GOTO M A X IM .C O M FOR M O R E IM A G E S A N D V ID E O

V O L U M E /C E L E S T IN E

,o-

L’ OREAL

$ Q 2 , o ly m p ia to o ls .c o m

G L A S S N E R /C E L E S T IN E

h a n d le s .T o a s ty !

S T Y L IN G , ZOE

d o n ’t g e t c a u g h t w i t h o u t t h e k in g o f all c u t t e r s : t h e O ly m p ia T o o ls 4 8 - In c h C e n te r C u t B o lt C u tte r. Its c o m p o u n d a c t i o n ja w s w ill h e lp y o u t e a r up a n y t h i n g in s i g h t , all w h ile e n jo y in g t h e c o m ­ f o r t o f its h e a t - t r e a t e d

KATE

m e ta ls , w e s u g g e s t you

MARLEY

e a d y to get s n ip p in g ? W h e n it c o m e s t o s lic in g th ro u g h som e heavy

U S IN G

Super C ut


LIOU

NATURAL

I STROGUDE

i

Г Н 1И 14

INtbdlt

G

6>л

1

MIMMi tHteUC U IH >M u t i l KM I I I

m

A great day starts w ith a good m orning. Add any A s tro g lid e Personal L u b rica n t to yo u r m o rn in g and it co u ld cause you to sm ile all day long. A va ila b le w here you already shop, in th e Fam ily P lanning o r F em inine H ygiene se ctio n o f yo u r fa v o rite store. To fin d o u t how to get yo u r m o rn in g glow , v is it w Ww . a , t r o g " d e , o m

© 2 0 1 4 BioFilm IP LLC

_ H

^

^

_

K


S tu ff

Gadgets

Tech,Yeah! T h ro w all y o u r old g iz m o s in to a lake and plug into th e fu tu re ! P a n o n o P a n o r a m ic B a ll C a m e r a Is it C - 3 P O ’s k id n e y s t o n e o r a t i m e m a c h in e ? N e it h e r ! B u t i t ’s s till fu n . T o s s t h i s s p h e r e in t o t h e a ir a n d its i n t e g r a t e d 3 6 c a m e r a s s h o o t in all d ir e c t io n s . T h e s t i t c h e d - t o g e t h e r s u m is b a s i c a l l y a n a e r ia l fr e e z e f r a m e o f w h a t ’s h a p p e n i n g b e lo w . I t ’s a p i g e o n ’s - p r e - p o o p - e y e - v i e w o f you! $ 5 4 9 , p a n o n o .c o m

Ouxkkji

B e lk in C r o c k - P o t W e M o S lo w C o o k e r W e ’re o f f ic ia lly o n e s t e p c l o s e r t o a r o b o - c h e f . T h is s lo w c o o k e r d o e s n ’t j u s t le t y o u s e t a n d f o r g e t y o u r s t e w s a n d c h ilis w h ile y o u s p e n d a d a y a t w o r k o r t h e la s e r - t a g a r e n a ; it a ls o le ts y o u c o n t r o l t h e d a m n t h in g fro m a f a r u s in g a n app. R e m o t e l y t u r n it on fro m th e ba r and a h o t bow l o f y u m m in e s s w ill be w a it i n g w h e n you s t u m b l e in a t 3 A.M. $ lO O , b e lk in .c o m

3 2

M o p h ie S p a c e iP h o n e C a s e U n lik e o t h e r s m a r t p h o n e s , t h e iP h o n e h a s n e v e r p la y e d w e ll w it h e x p a n d ­ a b le m e m o ry . No S D c a rd s lo t m e a n s y o u ’re s t u c k w it h t h e g ig s y o u r p h o n e h a s w h e n y o u b u y it. U n til now. T h is c a s e f e a t u r e s a b a c k u p b a t t e r y to e x t e n d y o u r b a r s w e ll p a s t la s t ca ll, p lu s it a u g m e n t s u p t o 3 2 G B o f e x tra s t o r a g e f o r m u s ic , a p p s , a n d y o u r c o lle c t io n o f B r o n y fa n v id e o s . $ 1 5 0 (16 G B ), $ 1 8 0 ( 3 2 G B ), m o p h ie .c o m

R o c k i P la y

P e b b le S t e e l S m a r t W a t c h

Your k ic k -a s s -s o u n d in g b u t to ta lly

S u p e r p o w e r e d t i m e p i e c e s are p o is e d

o u t d a t e d h i-fi s y s t e m is r e b o r n ! P lu g t h i s p o c k e t a b l e d o n g l e in t o a n y o ld s t e r e o s y s t e m a n d it i n s t a n t l y

t o t a k e o v e r t h e w o r l d ’s w r is t s , a n d t h i s o n e is o u r c u r r e n t fa v e . U n lik e m o s t u g ly - a s s s m a r t w a t c h e s — w h ic h

u p g r a d e s it t o a n a p p - c o n t r o l l e d s t r e a m i n g s e t u p . D u s t o f f D a d ’s o ld

are p r e t t y m u c h g u a r a n t e e d t o k e e p y o u fr o m e v e r t a l k i n g t o a w o m a n

’7 0 s k i t — i t ’s t i m e t o r o c k a g a in . $ 4 9 , m y r o c k i.c o m

a g a i n — t h i s o n e is t o t a l l y s w e e t on t h e e ye s. $ 2 4 9 , g e t p e b b le .c o m


H A R B O R FR EIG H T

LJFETIME WARRANTY fMMl NM N9

Q U ALITY TOOLS AT RID ICU LO USLY LO W PRICES

FACTORY DIRECT SAVINGS

S U P E R C O U PO N !

How does Harbor Freight sell great guality tools at the lowest prices? We buy direct Iroin the same factories who supply the expensive brands and pass the savings on to you. It's |iist that simple! Come in and see lor yourselt why over 25 m illion satisfied customers and leading automotive and consumer magazines keep talking ahout our gieal quality and unhealahle prices. Visit one ol our 500 Stores Nationwide and use this 20” ,, Oil Coupon on one ol over 7.000 pioducls*. plus pick up a Free 7 Function Digital Multimeter a 59 99 value • We Will Beal Any Competitor s Price Within 1 Year 01 Purchase • No Hassle Return Policy • 100 Satisfaction Guaranteed NOBODY BEATS OUR QUALITY. SERVICE AND PRICE ]

m•

»i ■ Ы Mb— — ---- ----

I

л I

rt . v *

шшттмч M йм

ю

I

«

cafH

iM t iH

чшт—тшшт. м ш и м ч и

к »

И я я » я » IN ** »— 1

* .M

U—— 1 11 * *

*'шЛв

— —— «мг

«мдм<* • « « « * N * « 1

III I I M I I I 11111 Cl II lllll

Experts Agree Harbor Freight WINS in QUALITY and PRICE ЮП1МЛКИШК

3 GALLON. 100 PSI 0ILLESS PANCAKE AIR COMPRESSOR ттЮПЧюшп REG PRICE

SAVE

50%

i« » i a * • * « « « ■ » < м m

6i

»nk M*

»> *

>• « »

pi

■»■»» гм fa йiiwiM «Mi

N EW !

^

-уо1#4 (M N il OMl NW|Л*hlrt9

•a *

$814?

61?56.$08ll/ 11189

ton 66/84

• ?W3 H Са»к% • 245IH

$79 99

iiiiiiiiiiiiiKiiiiiiiiiiiiniiiiniiii t 44П«» / t /

...0 0 0

"W# Art un#rvwd Will ft# Quality Tie Prttt n lecroWIW - Car Craft ш м и

LOT NO K Z 7 V 60637 «9486 «1615

$39 "

WINCH ELECTRIC Tr WITH REMOTE CONTROL AND AUTOMATIC BRAKE

U S -tO O A LZ 44", 13 DRAWER lot no INDUSTRIAL QUALITY n e WJ ы т т ROLLER CABINET

.

SQRQ"

CH®Cl ИГИ

...

im j м ч и * « м « е 4 я е м я

'4I**

й* м ьм

* Щ Г Р Г 1* % #• t w d M i V f r »

-------- I ’ » « •» W

ELECTRIC POLE SAW BMP OUTDOOR

900 PEAK) 800 RUNNING W A nS 2 HP (63 CC) GAS GENERATOR

SAVE

101 N0 6661» 66338,69361

■90

ЮТ N0 688$?

$69"

$ 8 9 ^ 9

M

щиI in nni iimi пин iiiiiii ih ”

l llll nil I lllllll III НИ ШИПП « Ж н и H # IV 4 7 4 4

i

I

<laM w m B iN

By а й ^ m m *t> fW rN t I

Ц йА в я «w- v r a

i# jr - w %■ » м г г н

n 1 7 ПП4 0 0 «4 «Ц 4L 11 « ( « г й М м И м » .MM t o . r t

fa

ta m e * la « ы й * <*»# В а ш *

*4'** -•»»

«wnafl CM» p H n a ■ ш т а « Н

• -4 i , m r .

7 4 ‘ l I n * aaa M f * » *■* raJfeaap pa* Ha

...............27 LED PORTABLE WORKLIGHT/FLASHLIGHT

mtracY a b u

L 0 I N0 67277/

llilllllltlltlllllllllllllllfllll 9 ЯП P 1 UU 1

и

iiiiiiiiii iiiii i i i i i i iina

ii

miiiii.HilJHPitw* ^ TRIPLE BALL TRAILER HITCH lot no

SAVE WWW56’ 63% w

- I I I lllll III III I HIM I II ГОП 2 П/ 1ЧП

ie«— й ^ еи» i i > ■я n «М |М Ю Ш? ( м м м а п е м м м

Order at HarborFreight.com or 800-423-2567 We FedEx Orders in 24 Hours for * 6 "

ЙМГ

SAVE

66%

94141

*» “

61914

REG, PRICE

■[«неем ае* ' m - j *at 4 h>-*f

■ ; * » r i H I яГ- > ^ М я а«|

О Л 8/ Г

Utm94141

REG PRICE S?9 99

"■ Тт'- ’

^

$ * 1 9 9 9 1 1111111111111

$10"

RIG PRlCt $149 99

U T | f liH m me *шщ m Ni > H i^ > < M m t y *m % Ш Ш 1W С е м и » m t — вФ т ш т Ш Й Г й й Г 'Ц г м б г Ш я г 'и Т И П . . « я—» ч « я » » у 4 "*•% * T V | M r » 4 * M wrf 1м « я М м a f w м > р я м й щтвтл M i r a ^ >‘ 4 U

SRS

fft

LOT N0 95566

& $99" Г 3 4 ttVU tt

*g

[o r *0 9369769765

3 PIECE DECORATIVE SOLAR LED LIGHTS

LOT N0 9100681565

1

m m \*

м аяяуяМ

1.5 CUBIC FT. SOLID STEEL DIGITAL FLOOR SAFE

lllllll lllllllllllllll lllllllllll

Гr e c t o — я »

______________________' V,7ц Mk to>trf* aW” f I

IM ) Ьт*ашФж* * ■■^HMwllHfFHB CiiMtnMNf «я—iM й prfar|Я*ЯЧ *»M V Mr, *4• «й>§Й1ЯI NOHfiN *•*««4 TWум4ЙМMfM «Я MfM-ММЭ»t/—г—У» • «J*f.tlrfil ,IWS4 IN

SAVE

QNIRM

s S79"„S

tfrf# REG $ 2 6 9 PRICE (wctHHl *.99

» ir ™ « «

Wlt$«4 Willi a* ОмЩ. covtn к£27^гг?св г* hi ObWII# kiW I w гПМГ

LOT N0 6633369486

АААМПт*

M- *•»

HOSE REEL WITH 3/8" x 50 FT. HOSE

PRESS0RE WASHER

SAVE

м .»>»

*■>

159 99

iniuiai€%1n»t>040 mniiiiii

■бппйее^ейкцегйчщ п Н М Ю Я» - - a W TA»: *■ ” Q * f W ■» « й * " Я te | « —

v . ■ * « * • • « r« < v « « i r ^ p i N a 1 M H K « f > 4 4 u w iv e im p * ре I

If You Buy Tools Anywhere Else, You're Throwing Your Money Away


S tu ff

Gadgets

Now you see m e, n o w yo u ... s till se e me.

C l e a r V i e w C lio G o o d b y e , g r a te s ! T h is B l u e t o o t h s p e a k e r is b u ilt a r o u n d a s h e a t h o f c le a r c u r v e d a c r y lic g la s s . O f c o u r s e , t h a t p a n e a i n ’t j u s t f o r lo o k s : It p u s h e s s o u n d in m u lt ip le d ir e c t io n s f o r r o o m - f illin g b o o m s . W h o k n e w in v is ib ility c o u ld lo o k (a n d s o u n d ) so g o o d ? $ 3 4 9 , c le a r v ie w a u d io .c o m

Sam sung 8 5 -In c h U 9 B B e n d a b le T V T ry t o b e n d m o s t t e l e v i s i o n s a n d y o u ’ll e n d u p w i t h h a n d s fu ll o f s h r a p n e l a n d a v o id e d w a r r a n t y . T h is d o u g h y d i s p l a y — w h ic h will be a v a ila b le t o c o n s u m e r s la t e r th is y e a r— tra n s fo rm s fro m a fla t-s c re e n to a c u rv a c e o u s d is p la y t h a t p r o v i d e s I M A X - lik e

C obra J u m P a c k

Tuesday. January 14

A p o rta b le b a tte ry p a c k th a t can ch a rge yo u r phone or ta b le t? Y a w n. A 7 , 5 0 0 m A h p o r t a b l e b a t ­

p e r ip h e r y t il la g e a n d a d d e d d im e n s io n . O r ju s t a w a rm hug.

t e r y p a c k t h a t ’s g o t e n o u g h ju ic e to ju m p -s ta rt y o u r car? N ever s t i c k y o u r c l a m p in a n o t h e r m a n ’s

$ T B D , s a m s u n g .c o m

e n g i n e a g a in . $ 1 3 0 , c o b r a .c o m

I'aybtatton

зе к

A

S o ny X p e ria Z1s 3 D S ystem s C h e fJ e t S u re , t h e 3 D p r in t in g r e v o lu tio n m e a n s w e c o u ld c lo n e o u r r a re s t a c t io n fig u r e s . B u t u n le s s y o u ca n m e t a b o liz e p la s t ic , y o u c a n ’t e a t t h e o u t p u t . T h a t . C h a n g e s . Now. T h e C h e f J e t w o r k s w it h su ga r, so u s e r s c a n b u ild d e lic io u s c o n ­ f e c t io n s . ( O o m p a L o o m p a s n o t in c lu d e d . ) $ T B D , 3 d s y s t e m s . c o m

3 4

M A X I M

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

P r e s e n t in g . . . t h e p a r t y p r o o f p h o n e ! N o t o n ly is it w a t e r / s p i l l / t o i l e t / b e e r / R e d B u l l / j u n g l e j u i c e - p r o o f , b u t it a ls o b o a s t s a c r a z y 2 0 . 7 - m e g a p ix e l c a m e ra . A n d w h ile m o re m e g a p ix e ls d o n ’t n e c e s s a r ily m e a n b e t t e r p h o t o s , o u r s e lf ie s h a v e s e r io u s ly n e v e r lo o k e d so s h a rp . W h o a , w e s h o u ld re a lly g e t t h a t m o le lo o k e d at. $ 0 u p f r o n t a t la u n c h , t m o b ile .c o m

GO

TO

M A X I M . C O M

F O R

M O R E


PROMOTION

MAXIM INSIDER

MAXIM

HOMETOWNvHOTTIES THANK YOU TO OUR GIFT BAG CONTRIBUTORS

Get in on these Maxim-approved events and promotions!

o fte r p o r :»

a r o

MCMIUM HVONATICJN

avi

6 >elvah G

t M

♦ FragranceNet c o m

havaianas

( S ' Freestyle' 2014 Hometown Hotties finalist Stephanie, featured in our Kovey Bolt Alaia Top and Kovey Bolt Offshore Bottoms. www.sailandsass.com

J о с у h o D l y

ABAN

Г

KIN D

b u y c o s tu m e s .c o m I Г / ШШШ

tOTVll

lo tti

RUNA

RUSK

S A I L

S Лs s

ж BuyCostumes.com is one of the largest internet retailers of costumes, accessories, and event decor, and the place to shop for yearround costume party needs, from wild to mild. www.buycostumes.com

sole

a it

TcOWEL

lOO* GOOO NAitlO.

p u rt coconut water


S tu ff

Spring Cleanup W h e th e r y o u ’ re a la n d lu b b e r or a seafaring fellow, c a s t yo u r net fo r a fresh wardrobe. 1. V in c e C a m u t o L e a th e r m o to ja c k e t , $ 5 9 5 , v in c e c a m u t o . c o m P e r r y E llis L in e n s h ir t, $ 7 5 , p e r r y e llis . c o m 2. J . H ilb u r n S to n e Luxury s p o rt c o a t, $ 4 2 0 , and s ilk p o c k e t s q u a re , $ 3 9 , jh ilb u rn .c o m life /a fte r/d e n im Field s h ir t, $778, li f e a f t e r d e n im . c o m 3 . N e w Era E K T h e a L ib e r t y L o n d o n p r in t fe d o r a , $ 5 0 , new eracap^com A . T im b e rla n d E arth ke e p e rs c h in o s , $778, t im b e r la n d . c o m P R P S G o o d s & C o. In d ig o je a n s , $ 2 7 5 , p rp s je a n s .c o m 5 T o m m y H ilf i g e r DON N E L L Y / B A - R E P S

R ic k y p e a c o a t, $ 3 9 9 , a t Tommy H ilf ig e r s to r e s E rnest A le x a n d e r L ib e r t y L o n d o n

STY LIN G, R EBECC A

FERRARI

7. A m e r i c a n E a g le O u t f i t t e r s A E fle e c e s w e a t ­ s h ir t , $-40, a e .c o m

8 . M ark

/N IC K

Nason S tro u d suede ch u kka b o o ts, $ 9 9 ,

PHOTOGRAPHS

skechers.com 9 Tumi S a n ta M o nica B a s h fo rd l e a t h e r d u f fe l, $ 8 9 5 , tu m i.c o m

Текст 3 6

M A X I M

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

GOODS

L e a t h e r b e lt, $ 7 0 , v in c e c a m u t o . c o m

W I L L I A M S ; SOFT

V in c e C a m u t o

E D IT O R , STAN

6

fl

STYLE

p r in t s h irt, $225, ernest a le x a n d e r .c o m


1. G a n t R u g g e r Ja cke t, $275, ga nt.co m O r i g in a l P e n g u in P 5 5 m in i- c h e c k s h ir t, $ 7 9 , o r ig in a l p e n g u in . c o m 2 . S h ip le y & H a lm o s S lo o p ja c k e t, $ 5 9 5 , s h ip le y -h a lm o s .c o m N a u t ic a A n c h o r p rin tte e , $ 5 0 , n a u tic a .c o m 3 . N a u t ic a B r a id e d b e lt, $ 4 0 , m a cys.co m A. H&M W h it e c o t t o n p a n ts , $ 3 5 , h m .c o m L e v iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s 511 J e a n s , $ 6 8 , le v i.c o m 5 . C a lv in K le in B la z er, $ 4 5 0 , c a lv in k le in .c o m E xpress A n c h o r p r i n t s h irt, $ 7 0 , e x p r e s s .c o m Boast V -ne ck sw e a te r v e s t, $74 4 , b o a stu sa .co m S h i p l e y & H a lm o s B irc h k n it tie , $ 9 8 , s h ip le y -h a lm o s .c o m

6 . E r n e s t A le x a n d e r S h o r t s , $ 1 6 5 , c a ll 8 0 0 -7 7 0 -6 6 5 8 7 . G a n t b y M ic h a e l

B a s tia n M B S c h o o n e r s w e a te r, $785, g a n t.c o m 8

. Ben S herm an

B ruce canvas s lip -o n s ,$ 7 0 , b e n sh e rm a n .co m 9 . F ossil M e rc e r n y lo n d u ffe l, $ 7 6 8 , fo s s il.c o m

GO

TO

M A X I M . C O M

FOR

M O R E


M A X I M

A P R I L

2 0 1 4


SOPHIA BUSH S TE P S OFF THE SET OF C H IC A G O P .D . AN D ONTO THE COVER O F M A X IM WITH G U N S B L A Z IN G .

b y O A VIO S W A N S O N

ш

p h o to g r a p h s by M A R C ELO K R A S IL C IC

J

I.

W 'V М > ; ч

щ

уm


B u s t i e r and s k ir t V ic to r de S o u za * H a n d cu ffs J e n n ife r Fisher B o o ts G iuseppe Z a n o tti*

C orset Tom F o rd * L e a th e r m a s k K ik id e M o n tp a rn a s s e *


You’ve gone fro m a high school c h e e rle a d e r on O n e T re e H i ll to a hardnosed intelligence officer on C h ic a g o P .D . T h a t ’s q u ite a change. Well, it’s funny. It’s not often that som eone gets a jo b at 2 0 and th en does it for a decade.

♦C O U R T E S Y

OFTH

E A L B R IG H T

FASHION

L IB R A R Y

Those are the years you’re

During her run on One Tree H ill, Sophia Bush seemed like the ideal gal to bring home to Mom: sweet, wholesome, and yeah, sure, drop-dead gorgeous, too. But to play a Windy City copper on Chicago P.D., the SoCal native put the sweetness in the slammer. She’s a no-nonsense, toughtalking looker who knows her way around a pistol, a ball game, and a rare bottle of scotch. So, gentlemen, please drop your weap­ ons, step away from the car, and prepare for an arresting encounter.

supposed to be growing and exploring new things. And it was w onderful, and we loved it, but th ere w asn’t a lot o f adventure. But this show? It feels like the jo b I was supposed to be doing.

How did you prepare? Well, there are som e things I c a n ’t tell you, for insurance reasons! But before filming we basically went through boot cam p, working with intelligence, SWAT team s, and precision-driving exp erts. You know that an xiety we all have w hen a cop car pulls up n ext to us on the highway? T h a t’s totally evaporated, and everyw here I go I find m yself w anting to hug cops. *

Did you have any e x p e r i­ ence w ith guns going in? I started going to shooting ranges w hen I was 12 years old, so I’ve known my way around guns since I was a kid. I even went through sheriff ’s training w hen I was living in


V^

m i,

1

4Д м

ш'Штг К г К

; V

Г jщ(

ШЬ (Kfll

1 JsNr

Id


ЮЩ

w

lb ,

Эи

OUR ADVENTURES ARE MOSTLY ABOUT FINDING RARE WHISKEYS AND THEN DANCING OUR FACES OFF.

It

i f

t

P

Vi

tfP'J t

iiW

nr

'*2

1


9

A A

M A X I M

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

FASHION A L B R IG H T O FTHE

(n e x ts p re a d ) Top V in ta g e L e a th e r h a rn e s s B lis s L a u * B o tto m s A le s sa n d ro D e l l ’A c q u a * R in g s U g o C a c c ia t o r i B o o ts G iu s e p p e Z a n o t t i *

♦COURTESY

( p re v io u s s p r e a d ) R ings U g o C a c c ia t o r i

L IB R A R Y

B la z e r w ith b u ilt-in c o r s e t J e a n P aul G a u l t i e r * B o tto m L is a M a rie F e rn a n d e z G o ld c o lla r Char A n t G o ld c u f f s J a n is S a v i t t *


A c tu a l %izt i f 4(16 in m

Demand America's Purest Silver Dollar Shouldn't You? Secure Your New 2014 Eagle Silver Dollars Now! Millions o f people collect the American Ragle Silver Dollar. In fact it's been the country's m ost popular Silver Dollar for over two decades. Try as they might, that makes it a very hard “secret” to keep quiet. And right now, many o f those same people are lining up to secure the brand new 2014 U.S. Ragle Silver Dollars — placing their orders now to ensure that they get America’s newest Silver Dollar — in stunning Brilliant Uncirculated condition — before millions o f others beat you to it.

America’s Brand New Silver Dollar This is a strictly# limited release o f one o f the most beautiful silver coins in the world. Today you have the opportunity to secure these massive, hefty one full Troy ounce U.S. Silver Dollars in Brilliant Uncirculated condition. The nearly 100-year-old design features walking Lady Liberty draped in a U.S. flag, while the other side depicts a majestic U.S. eagle, thirteen stars, and an American shield. But the clock is ticking...

The Most Affordable Precious M etal— Silver is by far the most affordable o f all precious metals — and each full Troy ounce American Ragle Silver Dollar is governmentguaranteed for its 99.9% purity, authenticity, and legal tender status.

A Coin Flip You Can’t Afford to Lose \Vhv are we releasing the most popular Silver Dollar in America for a remarkably affordable price? We're doing it to intrt>duce you to what hundreds o f thousands o f smart collectors and satisfied customers have known since 1984 — GovMint.com is the place to find the world’s finest coins.

Timing is Everything Our advice? Keep this to yourself. The more people who know about this offer, the worse for you. Demand for Silver Ragles in recent years has shattered records. Experts predict that 2014 Silver Eagles may break them once again. Our supplies are limited and there is a strict limit o f 40 per household.

30-Day Money-Back Guarantee You must be 100% satisfied with your 2014 American Ragle Silver Dollars or return them within 30 days o f receipt for a prompt refund (less all s/h). Don’t miss out on this exciting new release. Call immediately to secure these American Ragle Silver Dollars ahead o f the crowd. 2014 American Ragle Silver Dollar BU Your cost 1-4 Coins - $25.95 each + s/h 5-9 Coins - $25.75 each + s/h 10-19 Coins - $25.50 each + s/h 20-40 Coins - $25.25 each + s/h

Offer Limited to 40 per Household For fastest service, call toll-free 24 hours a day

1-800-910-7267 Offer Code PSE23645 H a w mm law tin* cvdr when »<*■ call

14101 Southcroe Drive W4 O rpt PSE236-05 Burrmillc. Minnetou 55W7 www.(»ov M in t.co m

Prkei and as a ilabilifv subject to change %%it In ил notice. K id performance h not a predictor o f future performance. VOTE: C m M m u o m * i$ a private d id r iM o r o f worldwide government coin and currency tvauct and privately iwued licenced collectible* and iv not affiliated w ith the I nited Statec government. I act* and figure* deemed accurate av o l lanuarv 2014.» 2014 C ovM mt.com.


Honestly, I’m not going out with the energy to get hit on. W hat bugs me is the people snapping photos as if you don’t notice. At tim es you feel like a zoo anim al.

Is th e re an assum ption th a t y o u ’re alw ays p a r t y ­ ing w ith o th e r starlets? Yeah! But you know w h at’s funny? People think that if you work in Hollywood, you spend all your tim e hanging out at fancy parties with movie stars. But we spend m ost o f our tim e on set, hanging out with the grips and electrician s and caterers.

T hat’s our family, and the only thing people see us on is the red carp et. T rust m e, w e’re not that fancy.

B u t fa m e has provided a p la tfo rm to t a lk ab o u t issues th a t m a tte r to you. Absolutely, and th ere are a

2014 in t e r m s o f w e a t h e r .

that despite all the incredible

concealed-w eapons perm it.

Well, I’ve w atched his whole

H ow have you m an ag ed?

things our serv icem en and

library, but I didn’t sit and

I love Chicago, but w hen

w om en do, on the news we

Do you have a w eapon

cram or anything. Although

you’re w orking 15 hours a

only seem to hear about the

of choice?

I did spend my Super Bowl

day and it’s b e e n so cold,

bad eggs. But th en you talk

I m ean, how can you pick

Sunday w atching a True

th e r e ’s not a whole lot of

to the real police, and they

one? It’s like asking som eone

D etective m arathon on HBO.

blow ing off steam . That

w ant to sm ack the shit out

said, the restau ran t scen e

o f th ose guys. T h ey ’re like,

is fantastic, and th ere are a

“Who the fuck do you think

own way. For long-range

Huh. M o st o f us were w atching th e gam e.

lot o f great little bars. On

you are to w ear a badge,

target practice, you w ant a

But it was the worst! Even

the C hicago P.D. staff', there

you piece o f shit?!?” T h e re ’s

rifle, but on set we get to tote

the com m ercials w eren ’t

are a lot o f bo u rbo n and

nobody m adder about bad

M4s around, which is in cred ­

that great, which is usually

sco tch drinkers, so our ad­

cops th an good cops. •

ibly fun. And if w e’re talking

one o f my highlights. So I

ventures are m ostly about

handguns, I prefer a Kimber.

w atched back-to-back Woody

finding rare whiskeys and

H arrelson and Matthew Mc-

th en dancing our faces off'.

to pick th eir favorite child! T h ey ’re all special in their

D ick W olf, Mr. L a w & O rd er, is your boss on C h ic a g o P .D . Have you been w atching any o th e r

6

M A X I M

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

Conaughey, and it was great.

You film in C h ica g o , which has had a p re tty brutal

You’ve been fam o u s fo r a w hile now. Do you g e t hit on a lot when yo u ’re out?

F IN N E Y S T Y L IN G , ANGELA M O D E L S ; PROP

cop shows for inspiration?

F U L E R T O N /F O R D

North Carolina and got my

L A N C O M E ; M A N I C U R E , AN DREA

You know, I find it interesting

FOR

show su g arco a ts som e of th e p o lic e’s actions?

DEPARTMENT

Being such a m ajor a c tiv ­ ist, do you w o rry th a t your

ART

conversation with a m illion.

O R IB E ; M A K E U P , DEVRA

Tw itter to have that sam e

USING

15 people, and I could use

+ KRAMER

party conversation with

S IM M S /K R A M E R

ized I could have a dinner­

D E P A R T M E N T ; H A IR , EARL

equality in A m erica. I real­

B U R A T T I/A R T

rights in Uganda or sam e-sex

S T Y L IS T , M IC HELA

about, w hether it’s hum an

K IN E R Y /

lot o f things I’m passionate


ADVERTISEMENT

BEST OF THE WEEK M A X I M ’S PIC K O F THE BEST, T H E SEXIEST, TH E FU N N IEST. T H E WEIRDEST, A N D TH E B A D D E S T A S S E S O N T H E NET.

M A XIM MOTORS WE E X P E R I E N C E S O M E T R U LY A W E S O M E A C C E L E R A T IO N . T H E N GO AND CH AN G E OUR UNDERWEAR.

M A X IM U M EXPOSURE

Hot videos with cover girls, tips from Hotties, sports coverage & entertainm ent news.

O U R R ES ID E N T HOTTIE, A PR IL R O S E , E X P L O R E S TH E LATEST M O VIES. G A M E S , S P O R T S NEW S. A N D V IR A L VIDEO S.

M A XIM MASTER CHEF CH EFS SCOTT KROENER, D ALE TALDE, A N D O T H E R S T E A C H Y O U R E C IP E S TO IM P R E S S TH E P A N T S O F F Y O U R DATE.

A L L S H O W S A V A IL A B L E ON: X B O X 360*, B L A C K B E R R Y 10, A N D M A X lM .C O M

'M axim on Xbox 3 6 0 requires an Xbox LIVE G old m em bership (sold separately).


She’s hot! She’s hilarious! We hope she likes exclamation points! It’s H a rt o f Dixie and Episodes star Mircea Monroe! by STEPHANIE RADVAN p h o to g ra p h s by HARPER SMITH


R E M IX S U TTE R /C LO U TIE R LAN С ASTE R/^C E LESTINE AG E N C Y . C O M ; M A N I C U R E , T R A C E Y M A K E U P , LAUREN

S T Y L I N G , LAUREN

CA M PA N1 L E / j C E L E S T I N EAGEN

CY.COM; H A IR , RYAN

RICHM

A N /S T A R W O R K S

A R T IS T S ;

With s t a r r in g r o le s on tw o o f T V ’s h o t t e s t s h o w s and b o o b s th a t h ave their own Twitter account, g o rg e o u s an d hilariou s M ircea M onroe p r o v e s th a t all g o o d t h in g s c o m e in p a irs. For th a t r e a s o n w e ’ re d o u b ly h o n o red to h a v e th e b o m b s h e ll strip down fo r her third M axim s h o o t . L iste n

Splendid B ik in i b o t t o m Eberjey B o o ts Old Gringo N e c k la c e Jacquie Aiche ( p r e v io u s p a g e , le f t ) D e n im s h ir t Hinge B ik in i Mikoh ( p r e v io u s p a g e , r ig h t ) B ik in i to p Becca by - - - Rebecca V irtu e BikiVii b o ttS m ^ Tigerlily г * , Bo4o fs V The Frye Com pany

in a s s h e t a l k s tu rn ­ o n s , playin g c ra z y , a n d , y e s , g e ttin g into c a t f i g h t s with her b o d y p a r t s . You play s w e e th e a rt Tansy T ru itt on H a r t o f D i x i e and se x b om b M orn ing

m akes us feel really close,

O r te r r ify in g . You have m ore th a n 2 0 T V c re d its . Is th e re one th a t was

O n to im p o rta n t th in g s: th e T w itte r h an d le @ M irc e a s B o o b s .

R a n d o lp h on E p is o d e s . Is it hard to play c h a ra c ­

and th en I w ant to bang him.

e s p e c ia lly fun to play?

I had the idea to give my

I’m friends with the guys who

b o o b s th eir own voice b e ­

te rs w ho are so d ifferen t?

do Men at Work , and they

cause it’s a great way to

It’s so fun playing th ese two.

W e ll, not to cau se d ra m a , but do you have any

called m e up and said, “We

acknow ledge that th ey are

I have fam ily in the South, so

c e le b rity crushes?

th in k you’re p erfect for this

p art o f my work, but that

playing Tansy feels very n atu ­

Oh, m an , President Obam a

p art.” I tru st th em , so I ju st

I have control over them . I

ral. M orning is hilarious to

is crazy sexy. I’m not ju st

took it. Then on set I found

love getting in T w itter fights

play b ecau se, living in L.A., I

talking looks, but intelligence

out the ch a ra cter ju st left a

w ith th em and calling th em

m eet ridiculous people who

and wit. I’m draw ing a blank,

m ental institution and is nuts.

n am es. I enjoy our inten se re-

are ju s t like her. So neith er of

but I’m sure th ere are plenty

I was actually flattered, b e ­

la tio n sh ip -a n d I’m proud o f

th em is really a stretch.

o f o th er presidents I would

cause the crazier, the better.

th e following th e y ’ve gotten!

Do guys e v e r rec o g n ize

D id you do th em proud

you fro m H a r t o f D ix ie ?

w ith your M a x im shoot?

I know it sounds so girly, but co n n e ctin g or laughing a lot

w ant to do, even though they

T a n s y is alw a ys d ealin g

may not be hot.

w ith re la tio n s h ip d ra m a . Do you go fo r a c e rta in

W ould th a t group include

Definitely. I’m always pleas­

Yes, this is what they live

ty p e in real life?

A b ra h a m Lincoln?

antly surprised by how m any

for. Anytim e they can be on

I have a boyfriend now who is

The im age o f Lincoln fucking

dudes love th e show. It’s got

display and get attention is

super sm art and really funny.

is kind o f aw esom e.

a whole lot o f sexy.

a great day for th em . •

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

M A X I M


Pick up M a x im â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s l in ger ie sp ecia l on n ew ssta n d s now or download t h e digital editio n.

D o it !


О

ш X

Э ш < и X ш Z ?X о _1 >- < 2 Z

£<Г = <>

н <2 (Л (Л < S

i Р >со (Я Й

5 " I ч

г со £5 >- ш X н о о Z < ьсс > >- CL со >Z -2 X и >- 1Я н ь z X (я о шИ о о I- 2

нI^ < UJ Z

Z

(Я Iя Э н X X< (Я ш Z Ш Z -I о ш 0. Z и X ш СЯ £Г О D UJ X < Z

со (Я

ь

\< (Я X

< Z (Я > и о Z < шш Z _| н Ы (Я О ся X Э ш < о Z

Z

_

N

6 Z

CL UJ CL Э Z

ь < Ы N < N * (Я < < ся 2

Hometown Hotties finalist Grace, one o f the stars o f our new sstand-only lingerie special, explains why sexy undies ju s t m ight be the g reatest gift you41 ever g e t yourself. by A L E X A LYONS p h o to g ra p h s by ZOE MCCONNELL

W h a t advice would you give to guys who

W h a t’s your favorite style?

are nervous ab o u t buying lingerie fo r th e ir

the lingerie I wore for this

girlfriends?

and kind o f see-through.

Dark greens and black, like shoot, are really hot. And lacy

Just buy what you would like to look at, because th a t’s who you’re doing it for anyway!

Is th e fa n c y s tu ff ju s t fo r sp ecial o ccasions,

T h at’s all that m atters.

or w ould you pull it out during th e w eek?

Have you ever gotten

I don’t think lingerie should

lingerie as a gift?

be only for special occasions,

Yeah, and I like it...

becau se you gotta try to look

if it’s the person I want

good all the time.

to receive it from.

W h a t as set do you like to show off the most?

W ere you ever in a s itu a ­ tion w here a guy couldn’t

I guess I would have to say

g e t a com plicated piece of lingerie off?

my boobs.

Not really. I’m there to help! ш,

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

M A X I M

5

3


T h is is m o s t p e o p le 's re a ctio n th e fir s t tim e th e y see a P i n g - P o n g b all.


«с

B E E R PO NG You N e e d • T w o te a m s o f tw o p e o p le • A ta b le • 2 2 1 8 -o z. p la s tic c u p s • P in g - P o n g b a lls • Beer

SETUP AN D RULES

1. On each side o f the table, team s arrange 10 cups like bowling pins. Fill each a third o f the way with beer. Pour water into remaining two cups

О

and use to wash balls o f any frat-floor debris (which tastes like body spray and vomit).

f l ip

CUP

2 . The first players on each

gam e. Grab a napkin and

You N e e d

team chug their beers.

wipe the beer slobber oft”

• T w o te a m s o f an

W hen finished, they hang

your face. You earned it!

the em pty cup off the table

equal num ber

2 . Team s take turns trying to

• A ta b le

edge and attem pt to flip it

P R O T IP For a m o re b a l­

toss or b o u n ce balls into their

• P la s tic c u p s

so it lands upside-down.

a n c e d flip , u se t w o f in ­

3 . After a successful flip,

g e rs : in d e x a n d m id d le .

the next team m ate can start

B e n d m id d le fin g e r a b it,

chugging and flipping. If the

k e e p i n g t w o t h i r d s o f it

o p p o n en ts’ cups. Each team gets two attem pts per turn;

(o n e p e r p e rs o n ) • Beer

elbows and wrists must stay behind the edge o f the table.

SETUP AN D RULES

flip is unsuccessful, the cup

u n d e r th e c u p fo r m o re

3 . If a tossed ball lands in a

1. Team s stand on opposite

is reset and the flip retried

c o n tro l. T h e n u se th a t

cup, opponent must drink it.

sides o f the table, facing

until it’s properly achieved.

fin g e r to s h o w y o u r riv a ls

If a bounced ball is sunk, op­

each other with a half-full

4 . Game continues down

w h a t you th in k o f th e m .

ponent must guzzle two cups.

cup o f b e er in front o f

the line till all players on

Note: Defenders are allowed

th em (dopily staring down

one team have turned over

to swat away bounced shots

opposing player optional).

their cups, winning the

S K IL L LEVEL

VVV1VVVV

after they hit the table. 4 . If a team sinks both balls, they earn another turn. Otherwise, balls are passed to the other team , usually while joking about their testicles. 5 . After a cup is em ptied, it is removed from play. Cups are

a w e ***SO SSS T IM E , D O A N Y T H IN G

FOR A

g o o d

reracked w hen down to six, four, three, two, and one. 6 . W hen a team sinks all their shots, th ey ’re declared winner - a n d far too thirsty. Drink! P R O T I P A lw a y s w e t t h e b a ll in w a t e r b e f o r e y o u t o s s . It i m p r o v e s y o u r s h o t ; w e t b a l l s d o n ’ t f l o a t a r o u n d in t h e a i r l i k e d r y b a l l s . It a ls o lo w e rs y o u r c h a n c e o f c o n t r a c t i n g E. c o l i. S K IL L LEVEL

VVfVfVVVV

F L A M IN G A S S H O L E S

detonator

p la y e rs d u c t-ta p e

T w o m en c o m p e te to

G uys ta ke tu rn s s m a s h ­

4 0 -o u n c e b e e rs to th e ir

in g a fu ll b e e r c a n in to

h a n d s , a la t h e m o v i e

see w ho can keep a piece of burning, r o l l e d -

E dw ard S c is s o rh a n d s

u p n e w s p a p e r l o d g e d in

a n d le a v e th e m a tta c h e

th e ir b o tto m s th e lo n g e s t.

their foreheads while yelling, "D etonator!”

to see who can make it explode. A s i d e f r o m b e i n g s o a k e d in b e e r a n d s u s ta in in g p o s s ib le b ra in damage, t h e w i n n e r e n jo y s th e b o n u s o f n o t

getting laid that night. 5

6

M A X I M

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

DANCEOFTNE

EDWARD 4 0 HANDS

u n til t h e b o t t le s are fin is h e d . O r u n til th e y p a ss o u t or w e t th e b ed or have th e ir p h o to p o s te d o n lin e a n d n e v e r g e t a jo b e v e r a g a in .

T h e lo s e r h as t o c h u g a beer, w h ile th e v ic to r g e ts to be tre a te d fo r se con d -d e gree anal

burns.

H o t ta m a le !


pause or miss naming an item from it drinks.) N in e : Rhyme. (Choose a

word; first person to pause or miss a rhyme drinks.) i o : Social. (All drink.) J a c k : Rule. (Make a rule;

first one to break it drinks.) Q u e e n : Question. (Take

turns asking questions; first person to pause drinks.) K i n g : King’s Cup. (Pour your

beer into middle cup; per­

О K IN G ’S C U P

A c e : Waterfall. (Everyone

son who draws the last King

You N e e d

chugs; stop when the per­

drinks it and game is over.)

• T h re e o r m o re p e o p le

son to your right stops.)

• A d e c k o f cards

T w o : You. (Give a drink.)

P R O T IP R e m e m b e rth is

• O n e p la s tic c u p

T h r e e : Me. (Take a drink.)

w o rd : s p o ra n g e . It’s th e

• Beer

F o u r: Floor. (Last person to

o n ly w o rd th a t rh y m e s

touch the floor drinks.)

w ith o ra n g e , w h ic h s o m e

SETUP AN D RULES

F iv e : Guys. (Dudes drink.)

je r k a lw a y s p ic k s fo r th e

О

1. Spread an entire deck o f

S i x : Chicks. (Ladies drink.)

r h y m e ru le . If a s k e d t o d e ­

You N e e d

cards around an em pty cup

S e v e n : Thum bm aster. (Last

f i n e it, s a y i t ’s a t e r m f o r

• T h re e o r m o re p la y e rs

(the King’s Cup).

person to place their thumb

s u c k e rs g e ttin g s e rve d .

• G la s s

2 . Players take turns draw­

on the table edge drinks.)

ing a card and following the

E i g h t : Category. (Pick a

rules associated with them :

category; first person to

SKILL LEVEL

W hy we never have q u a rte rs f o r la u n d r y . . .

quarters

• S ta c k o f q u a rte rs • Beer

■ V V ffflfV I SETUP AN D RULES

1. Each player grabs a beer and a quarter and gathers around a table. The glass is placed in the middle. 2 . Players take turns trying to b o u n ce a qu arter into the glass. If the shooter succeed s, he chooses so m eo n e to drink and shoots again. If h e fails, th e play passes. 3 . If the shooter sinks three quarters in a row, he gets to create a rule (for instance, you can ’t say q u a rter , must drink with nondom inant hand, all drinking must be followed with a recitation o f a stanza from a Maya Angelou poem , and so on). Rulebreakers must drink for the

o BOAT RACE

2 . At the start the first

Congratulations-you all

duration o f the gam e.

You N e e d

players on each team chug

look like idiots!

4 . Continue until all the beer

• T w o te a m s o f an

their beers. Once finished

is gone, then play pinball.

they place the cups upside-

P R O T IP F la tte r, w a rm e r

• A ta b le

down over their heads (to

b e e r is e a s i e r t o c h u g . S o

P R O T I P H o ld t h e q u a r t e r ’ s

• Cups

thw art cheating), at which

p o u r y o u r b re w a t le a s t

e d g e s lig h tly b e tw e e n y o u r

• Beer

point the n ext player can

Ю m in u te s b e fo re th e

in d e x fin g e r a n d th u m b a n d

start drinking.

c o m p e titio n to g e t th a t

b o u n c e it f l a t - s i d e d o w n

SETUP AN D RULES

3 . Players continue chug­

fiz z le s s , lu k e w a rm q u a lity

(n o t on an e d g e ) fo r a m o re

1. Teams line up at the table

ging down the line until

a ll b e e r d r i n k e r s lo v e .

a c c u ra te ju m p .

with their cups in front

all players have finished

o f them . Everyone has the

and are holding empty

same am ount o f beer.

cups over their heads.

equal num ber

SKILL LEVEL

V V fftV V V Il

SKILL LEVEL

VVVVVfV A P R I L

2 0 1 4

M A X I M

5

7


O live r was s h o c k e d — th e g i r l s w e r e n ’t ru n ning aw ay f r o m h im !

О THREE MAN

be the next player who rolls

D o u b l e s : Give away that

You N e e d

a th ree or the sum o f it.

num ber o f drinks (two

• T h re e o r m o re

2 . Starting with the T hree

fours = eight drinks).

Man, players roll both dice

If a player’s in the loo

• P a iro fd ic e

and follow the rule a sso ­

during his tu rn, he must

• Beer

ciated with the num ber

take one drink for every

total (below).

five seconds h e ’s missing.

p la y e rs

SETUP AN D RULES

T o t a l o f s e v e n : Player to

1. All players roll a die. The

left o f roller drinks.

P R O T IP To a v o id th e

first to roll a th ree beco m es

T o t a l o f 11: Player to right

b a th ro o m p e n a lty , w e a r

T hree Man and rem ains

o f roller drinks.

a n a d u lt d ia p e r.

in that spot until he rolls

T o t a l o f n i n e : Social!

a th ree or the sum o f it.

A n y th re e o r s u m o f th re e :

The new T hree Man will

Three Man drinks.

S K IL L LEVEL

V o BUFFALO You N e e d • A n y n u m b e r of p la y e rs • Beer

S E T U P A N D RULES

1. Partygoers must drink from their nondom inant hand. If caught doing otherw ise, som eon e yells, “Buffalo!” and the offender must finish his drink. 2 . If a player calls “Buffalo” erroneously, “False Buffalo” is called, and the accuser drinks. 3 . Buffalo never ends. So there is no winner or loser; there is only fun and funner. (We think Nietzsche said that.)

O S T E IN H O IS T IN G

2 . If a hoister spills, drops,

fe e l lik e a b o w l o f lu m p y

or bends his arm , h e ’s o u t -

m a s h e d p o ta to e s , do

P R O T IP D ie -h a rd B u ffa lo -

You N e e d

and must drink.

s o m e f r o n t a rm ra is e s

e rs s a y i t ’s n o t a m e re ly

• T w o o r m o re p la y e rs

3 . The last remaining

w ith Ю -p o u n d d u m b ­

g a m e b u t a w a y o f lif e .

• S te in s

player is dubbed Best

b e l l s t o g e t in t i p - t o p

S o tra in y o u r k id s to be

• Beer

Heavy Beer Holder. Hello,

b e e r - h o i s t i n g s h a p e ( i. e .,

a m b id e x tro u s . S o m e day,

new tom bstone epithet!

rip p e d u p to p , d o u g h y

a fte r y e a rs o f th e ra p y ,

e v e r y w h e r e e ls e ).

t h e y w ill t h a n k y o u .

SETUP A N D RULES

5

8

1. Players hold their beer-

P R O T IP A fu ll s te in o f

filled steins with one arm,

b re w w e ig h s a b o u t fiv e

parallel to the floor.

p o u n d s . If y o u r d e l t o i d s

M A X I M

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

S K IL L LEVEL

VV

S K IL L LEVEL

V


He d i d m u c h b e t t e r in t h e h a irie s t arm s co ntest.

Remove dart before d rin k in g

О B E E R D A R TS You N e e d

2 О О (Л

ш X <л

£ с о >(Л ш Iсг Э о СО

о

(Л CL О

ь

О NEVER HAVE I EVER

never done, starting with

P R O T IP N e v e r p la y

• T w o o r m o re p la y e rs

the phrase “Never have

w ith fa m ily m e m b e rs

• C a n s o fb e e r

I ever...” Players in the

o r c o w o r k e rs , u n le s s

• D a rts

You N e e d

group who have done it

y o u ’ re c o m f o r t a b l e

• A n y n u m b e r o f p la y e rs

must drink.

le a rn in g t h a t y o u r

S E T U P A N D RULES

• Beer

2 . Play continues with

g re a t-a u n t Edna has,

1. Two players stand 10 to 2 0

• A shady past

new people admitting

in f a c t , t a k e n it u p

feet across from each other;

things (sex acts, usually)

t h e rear.

each place an unopened beer

S E T U P A N D RULES

th ey ’ve never done, and

1. A player begins by adm it­

o th er people (perverts,

ting som ething th e y ’ve

usually) drinking.

S K IL L LEVEL

2 . Player gets three attem pts

V

to throw darts at his op p o­ n e n t’s can. (The opponent

а.

о и. Z Э

сг ш О < ш -I

сг

ы ш X и Z

< сг ш -I X Ь UJ со

< N

can at their feet or on a table.

W h a t he s a id is h ig h ly a d m is s ib le in c o u r t .

should move if h e’d like to avoid a tetanus shot later on.) 3 . If the can is punctured, the opponent must shotgun his beer and be replaced. 4 . The first person who punctures three cans wins the g a m e -a n d life! P R O T IP P ic k th in , s te e ltip p e d d a r ts o v e r h e a v ie r

-J

Ш о: Э Ш * < 2 Q Z < < X

m o d e ls , w h ic h c a n t ip c a n s over. T ry Fat C a t B e e r D a r ts ($12, w a y fa ir.c o m ). S K IL L LEVEL

fVVVVWV A P R I L

2 0 1 4

M A X I M

5

9


T hose keys c o s t m ore than yo ur house.


KOOAK

*004ะบ

ะะต v

fU l/ t

W ILS O N Take a spin with the hardest-working man in bro business. b y P A T R IC K C A R O N E p h o to g ra p h s b y T U R E L IL L E G R A V E N


Funny or Die video in which he hawks his own line o f actu al douche b a g s -to realize...you really c a n ’t help but root for Christopher Joh n Wilson.

'Hot t h is тм е, coPPW I’m sitting shotgun in a m atte gray McLaren MP4-12C (top speed, 2 0 4 mph; 0 - 6 0 in 3.1 seconds) as C.J. Wilson zips south on California State Route 73. “T here are usually cops at the bottom o f this hill,” he says knowingly, explaining why w e’ve slowed down to ju st around the speed limit. After hanging out in “the w arehouse,” the garage in Costa Mesa where C.J. keeps three o f his six cars as well as his many m otorcycles, w e’re heading to Saddleback College in Mission Viejo, w here the lefty will be practicing som e long throws with Steve Soliz, the Angels’ bullpen coach . In the course o f our 30-m inute journey, I get a crash c o u r s e -n o pun in te n d e d -in the player that m anager Mike Scioscia likes to call “the m ost interesting m an in the world.” (Sorry, Dos Equis dude.) Raised in nearby Huntington Beach, Wilson was traded to Anaheim from the Texas Rangers three seasons ago. It was here that he grew up staring at his two favorite posters: a Ferrari F 4 0 on one

he guy’s gotta be a douche, right? He just married supermodel Lisalla Montenegro [see page 6 6 for envyinducing details); he recently bought a north-of-a-m illion-dollars McLaren Pi hypercar [to add to the Porsche Carrera GT?the Acura N S X , the eight motorcycles, and the o th er McLaren already in his garage); he’s endorsed by major brands like Head & Shoulders; and at only 3 3 he owns a racing team . Oh, one more thing: H e ’s a tw o -tim e A ll-S ta r starting pitcher for the Anaheim Angels with a killer arm and a $ 7 7 .5 million contract. Total prick, huh? Not so fast.

wall and Ken Griffey Jr. on the other. “I didn’t want norm al kid stuff,” he says. “My dad and I had frank conversations. I said, T want to buy a Ferrari,’ and h e’s like, ‘It’s about $ 1 0 0 ,0 0 0 . How are you ever going to do that?’ I said I’d play for the Lakers. He said, T ’m six feet tall and white. You’re going to be six feet tall and white. Let’s be realistic. You’re not going to be Magic Johnson.’ So then I said, ‘How about baseball?”’ C.J. Wilson was never the best kid in Little League. Back at the warehouse, his dad pays an im prom ptu visit, and h e ’s m ore than happy to share som e tales from the old days. (“You’ll probably have to remove the curses,” C.J. jo kes.) Much like his son, Je ff Wilson is soft-spoken yet

Within minutes o f m eeting the shaggy-

road, he can be found taking meetings

intense, and quick to reveal that his son

haired southpaw, it’s clear h e’s one o f the

with investors for his burgeoning chain o f

wasn’t always an All-Star. “I rem em ber

m ost obsessively driven success stories

Mazda and KTM m otorcycle dealerships.

he was trying out for a travel team , and

out there. He turns everything-from

(Wait, we didn’t m ention h e’s a successful

the coach said, ‘He’s not big enough. He

throwing a perfectly placed three-two

entrepreneur, too?) And, yeah, h e ’s really

doesn’t throw fast enough.’ I wonder

breaking ball to nailing the apex in Turn

ridiculously good-looking (which helps

what that coach is doing now, watching

8 at Laguna S e c a -in to scien ce, analyzing

explain those Head & Shoulders ads).

TV while C.J. makes $70 million. I always

every aspect o f a task until h e ’s mastered

6

2

But h e’s worked damn hard for what he

say, ‘Little minds for a little league.’”

it. Even wooing his wife becam e an aca­

has, and h e ’s m ade it all happen through

dem ic endeavor; he learned Portuguese

an alm ost spiritual dedication. And it

a love o f cars runs in the family; C.J.’s

just to let her know he was serious. He’s

requires only a b rie f conversation about

grandfather was a gearhead, and dad

proudly straight-edge and has never had

the charity he started for kids with life-

worked on a pit crew. “That was before

a drop o f alcohol. Instead o f partying

threatening illn esse s-o r the 38 seconds

Little League took over,” Papa Wilson

with the rest o f the team when on the

it takes to watch a totally self-aware

laughs. “He and his brother were around

M A X I M

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

As is often the case with such passions,


C .J . s t r a d d l e s h is M c L a r e n M P 4 -1 2 C and P o r s c h e C a r r e r a GT. N o t a c h e a p s e a t.


typical o f all bazillionaire pro athletes. A ttn . A n g e ls m a n a g e m e n t: Do not look a t t h i s p h o t o .

Som ething else that helps C.J. stay focused is his no-booze, no-drugs life­ style. He’s got

s t r a ig h t e d g e

tattooed on

his ribs and the Japanese characters for “poison-free” etched on his shoulder. Having dealt with family m em bers with addiction problem s growing up, he simply never saw the appeal o f that kind o f partying. “The other guys on the team , they hit the bars, they hit the clubs. I don’t do that. I try to save my energy.” It’s an approach he shares with team ­ mate Josh Hamilton, the once-in-a-generation talent who has famously struggled with substance-abuse problem s. W hen the Angels celebrate a big win, they both do so with ginger ale. As Hamilton tells us, “It’s always good to share som ething like that with a team m ate. C.J. has chosen to be straight-edge, and I give him props for that.” It’s also a way o f life he shares with a model nam ed Lisalla Montenegro. “We m et through my friend Jimmy. He told m e, ‘You should really talk to this girl. S h e ’s totally your type.’” What Brazil­ ian superm odel isn’t som e guy’s type? “S h e ’s straight-edge like I am . Jim m y knew I had a different set o f standards.” T h at’s not to say that courting Lisalla was easy. “W hen we started dating, I down­ loaded a language app called MindSnacks and learned som e Portuguese.” “He was being creative, different,” says Lisalla, “and really showing that he was serious about getting to know m e.” C.J. then states the obvious: “It was a good deci­ races a lo t - it was an inexpensive Friday

mind, as evidenced by the fact h e nam ed

n ig h t-b u t I wasn’t encouraging them

his Twitter account, one o f the first by

to be drivers.” Why? “I saw too many

a m ajor leaguer, @ str8edgeracer, not @

As we AAAive

accidents. Plus, there are very few people

str8edgepitcher. (A self-professed tech

cam pus, having successfully eluded

who make m oney doing it. It’s like being

geek, C.J. is currently obsessed with the

Johnny Law, we finally talk baseball. “If

a rock musician: T h ere’s the Rolling

trivia app QuizUp. Warning: Don’t take

we can pitch better than last season and

Stones, then th e re ’s a whole lot o f people

him on in dinosaur names!)

get Hamilton and [Albert] Pujols back

who play in bars for drinks and a m eal.”

n

т к е sADDteeAck

to w here they were,” he says, referring

close pal w ho’s known C.J. since he first

to the Angels superstars, who struggled

BACK IN т к е Л С Ш Ж С Л TAtces A CALL

coached him in track driving in’0 8 , im m e­

in 2013, “w e’re going to win a lot o f

from a business associate from his team ,

diately knew his new student was serious.

games.” We also talk about w hat’s next

C.J. Wilson Racing. Founded in 2010,

“He progressed m uch faster than most.

for С .J., after his life in the bigs is over.

th ey’ve already won a championship,

I think th at’s due to the way C.J. looks at

Will managing the always-growing racing

the 2012 Playboy Mazda MX-5 Cup, and

baseball. T h e re ’s a lot o f physics involved

team and ever-expanding dealership

just got back from the Rolex 24 in Day­

in both sports, which h e’s very interested

chain be enough? Nope. “Once I’m done

tona. (Racing works a lot like baseball,

in.” McQuarrie thinks running the team

with baseball, my first order o f business

with these smaller outfits like Triple-A

helps C.J.’s pitching. “If he has a bad game,

is to get into racecar-driver sh a p e -1 8 0

com pared to NASCAR’s Sprint Cup

without the racing team he wouldn’t have

pounds, down from 210. It’ll be easy; the

team s.) C.J. is involved in every aspect

anything to pull him self away.”

only reason I’m this big is baseball. You

m echanics to the drivers. Although h e ’s loved cars his whole life,

4

o

Tyler McQuarrie, a team driver and

o f the team , from the sponsors to the

6

sion, if you know what I m ean.”

“Oh, I love dealing with the team and my dealerships betw een gam es,” C.J. says. “They give me som ething else to pay

need big legs to pitch, but not to drive a c a r - it ruins your cen ter o f gravity...” McQuarrie already knows it’s going to

the professional-racing bug really bit him

attention to.” Working a jo b that requires

happen. “If he didn’t have his contract

in 2 0 0 8 , w hen he was on the Rangers’

traveling helps as well. “I m eet with

com m itm ent, h e ’d be out here racing

disabled list with an elbow injury. Driving

sponsors and m anufacturers all over the

with us now. Honestly, I look at him as a

was way m ore on the forefront o f his

place,” he says as if this sort o f behavior is

racecar driver who plays baseball.” щ

M A X I M

A P R I L

2 0 1 4


ELECTRONIC CIGARETTES No Odor, No Ash No Tobacco Smoke, Only Vapor On-the-Go Rechargeable Pack

visit

us at Diucigs.com

NOT FOR SAIE TO MINORS Ыи « С ? ** electron* cigarette* not been evaluated by # tt Food and Drug Adrmmifrafcon. nor ( dueoie or condition ©2014 IOEC. Inc. Ыи,м ond blu «C»a*S

locator CLASSIC TOBACCO


I Ml 1

r X £ ■

r

/F ollow UsALLA O iJ Т м Т Г Б А

&LtsALLA,AfJO o*J U stA G A A *

&LISALLAOFFICAAL *

L

f


LISALLA MONTENEGRO

J

Fastball? Check. Fast cars? Check. Think C.J. Wilson has it all? You don’t know the half of it. We’ re very happy to introduce you to his stunning o th e r half, Lisalla M ontenegro (or Mrs. W ilson, i f you prefer). The bodacious Brazilian—and soonto-be face of Lexus—was kind enough to share these pictures from th eir recent honeymoon in her home country. As fo r why she looks so comfortable, you can th an k the photographer... th a t damn C.J. Wilson!

Any tip s fo r our readers on how to date or m arry a superm odel? Superm odels have seen everything around the world, and th ere isn ’t m uch that ca n im press th em , so b e creative.

You’re in unbelievable shape. How do you do it? I love w orking out, and I get bored easily, so I’m always try in g new things. I’ve tried ev ery th in g from ju jitsu to Pilates, but eating h ealth y is the whole key. It’s easier w hen b o th o f us have a lot o f discipline in th at regard.

W ow, C .J . is quite a photographer!

W h at p a rt of your body are you m ost proud of?

He knows my body well, all my good

I’m very proud o f my Brazilian curves.

angles. Plus, Brazil is su ch a beautiful

My m odeling agency isn’t always

place, and it felt like we had the whole

th rilled , though!

b e a ch to ourselves. It was us and turtles.

Do you love cars as much as C .J.? We know C .J . charm ed you by le a rn ­ ing P o rtu g u ese, but did you hear any

I love driving, and I’m w orking

bad pickup lines in your single days?

one o f us m akes ra c e c a r noises at

Usually at the gym : “So w here are you

h om e, in th e car, and at the store.

on getting my racing licen se, but only

fro m ?” “How long have you b e e n work­

W h a t’s th e se xiest m ode of

ing out h e re ?” “I have a cool ex ercise to show you...” Oh, baby!

tran sp o rtatio n ?

• •I

%

T h e re ’s so m eth in g about riding m otor7

m

Do you have any in stan t turnoffs? Sm okers and heavy drinkers are a

■*4

really huge bum -out.

• _ «■»

cycles. I’m not sure if it’s the leather suits or the rum ble o f the engine, but th o se usually are good days! «,

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

M A X I M

6

7

N


LARRY SANDERS HOST


Garry Shandling The man behind T V ’s most influential com edies talks C aptain A m erica and digestive issues. By Dan Bova

How are you, Garry?

c o n s tru c t. You see it on C u r b

W h a t ty p e of player are you?

I’m good, buddy. Let me

Y o u r E n t h u s i a s m y E x t r a s . You paved th e w ay fo r th a t.

I’m a guy I have to ask not to com e back.

An Icon really should n ’t be w atching

Well, I don’t th in k we ought to get

A t tw o s e p a ra te tim e s you had an

television in the daytim e. Although

involved in w hat I deserve cred it for.

the real Icon is w hatever w om an is on

I app reciate it, but it’s going to bleed

o ffe r to ta k e over th e la te -n ig h t sp o t a fte r L e tte rm a n b u t tu rn e d it

the page befo re this interview.

over into my p erson al life, and I would

dow n . W h y d e p riv e us, G arry?

have to tell you how m any people

One o f Jay L en o’s great strengths is his

W h a t are you w atching?

haven’t called me back that should

stam ina, and I couldn’t see m yself doing

I suppose th is w on’t be tim ely by the

have to say, “Hey, th a n k s!”

this for 3 0 years. I’m not a m an o f long­

ju s t tu rn the TV off.

tim e this prints, but it is hilarious

term com m itm ent. And now what you have in Jim m y Fallon is a different kind

tw een th e State o f the Union address

D o you enjoy your s ta tu s as an e ld e r s ta te s m a n o f com edy?

and th e snow storm in Atlanta. You

You know, V ince Vaughn has, for m any

seen in years. I’m a big fan.

c a n ’t tell w hat th e y ’re showing. Is the

years, had the n ick n am e S h eriff for

person shivering b ecau se th e y ’re a

m e, and I honestly do enjoy th e resp ect.

Is boxing still a passion of yours?

Republican reactin g to the sp ee ch , or

But I’ve b e e n tryin g to get Vince to up

Yes, but I ju st eased up b e c a u s e -th is is

are they so m eo n e stu ck on th e side o f

the Sheriff. So m aybe h e’ll get the idea

not som ething you hear pro boxers s a y -

the freeway? And they haven’t really

after he reads this.

I had som e digestive issues recently,

w atching CNN b o u n cin g around b e ­

o f artist who is as phenom enal as w e’ve

[laughs] so I didn’t want to take a punch

tied it togeth er as a m etaphor for our country, but th ey show w heels spinning

Do you have a nicknam e fo r him?

in th e snow, and th en you have this

I have two nicknam es. But th ey ’re

sw eeping view o f Congress and you

bed room nam es that I c a n ’t repeat here.

Yo u’ve been know n to pop up o n s tag e. W h a t’s been on your mind?

You play S e n a to r S te rn in C a p t a in A m e r i c a : T h e W i n t e r S o ld ie r .

Well, recently I went on and thought, I

/ f ’s G a r r y S h a n d l i n g ’s S h o w out of my h ead . W h a t should I do?

Yes, I do a ca m e o in this movie. I think

lot o f my friends say, “Isn’t it tim e to get a

an Icon should keep it short. I didn’t

dog?” I always rem em ber George Carlin’s

I’ll give you life advice here: B ecom e one

even have the whole script becau se...

saying that when you buy a dog, you’re

with it and then eventually let go. W hen

Icons, we ju s t d on’t need it.

buying a little tragedy. The pain o f when

ju s t see th e w heels spinning again.

I c a n ’t g e t th e th e m e song to

w e’re done and I hang up, th a t’s w hen it

to the stom ach. But I’ll be back.

don’t know what people see in me, but a

they pass away is unbearable. But as I’m getting older, I th in k I’ll wait a few more

source o f your pain, and this interview is

S o you d id n ’t even know th a t th is is a com ic b o o k movie?

about you and your issues with me.

You’re kidding!

som ething to w orry about. I’d like to see

stops. You did the right thing: I’m the

years and th en get a dog so he's got a little con cern in his eyes going, “How’s this

T he L a r r y S a n d e r s S h o w w as one of T V ’s g re a te s t c o m e d ie s , b u t I

You have a le g e n d a ry H ollyw ood b a s k e tb a ll gam e a t your house. Ever

going to end up?” And, uh...I didn’t know

d o n ’t th in k you g e t eno ugh c re d it fo r th e w h o le “ c e le b ritie s playing h o rrib le ve rsio n s of th e m s e lv e s ”

as k p eo p le not to return because th e y suck or g e t cra zy com petitive? [longpause] Yes.

seem s like w e’re at the end, which is

I was going to say that! So there ya go. It w here I always say, “My God, th an k you, good night, I said som e things I m ean t.” ш,

Текст A P R I L

2 0 1 4

M A X I M

6

9


THIS WAY

H IS T O R Y ’ S M O S T D A R IN G E S C A P E S W r o n g f u ll y (o r r i g h t f u l l y ) im p ris o n e d A s h is t o r y s h o w s , t im e plus c r e a t i v i t y plus a good sp o on e q u a ls f r e e d o m . T a k e a lo o k b a c k a t t h e m o s t d e a t h - d e f y i n g , a u d a c io u s , an d in s a n e w a y s p r is o n e r s m a d e t h e i r o w n g e t - o u t - o f - j a i l - f r e e c a rd s . by A D A M L IN E H A N illu s tra tio n s b y K A G A N M ACLEOD

Текст


Frank Morris, Clarence A nglin, Jo h n Anglin PRISON

A lcatraz, California S itu ated on a tin y island in San Francisco Bay, A lcatraz was notoriously A m erica’s most inescapable prison, housing the likes of Al Capone, “ Machine G un” Kelly, and th e Birdm an of (w ait fo r it] A lcatraz. B efore Frank Morris and the Anglin brothers fled , 31 inm ates had attem p ted escape, all resulting in death or recapture. Using spoons to tunnel into th e cell vent (1], Morris and the Anglins executed the prison’s most brazen escape a tte m p t ever. On the night of June 11, a fte r six months of planning, th ey placed papier-m ache dum m ies in th e ir beds ( 3 ] , climbed to th e A lcatraz roof and over a security fence ( 3 ] , and then to o k to th e frigid bay w aters in a raft made from prison-issue raincoats ( 4 ] . . . only to vanish. A 17-year investigation concluded th a t the men had drowned; th e ir bodies, however, have never been found.


YEAR

1344

1934

ESCAPEES

ESCAPEE

R u d o lf V rb a , A lf r e d W e tz le r

Jo h n □ illin g e r

CONCENTRATION CAMP

PRISON

A u s c h w itz , Poland

Lake C o u n ty J a il

Determined to raise awareness

After a string o f bank ro b­

o f the atrocities o f Auschwitz,

beries, the infamous John

Jewish prisoners Rudolf Vrba

Dillinger found him self in

and Alfred Wetzler hatched

Lake County Jail awaiting trial

a plot to escape, hiding for

for the murder o f an Indiana

YEAR

his captors eventually threw

three days beneath a woodpile

cop. Authorities boasted that

1597

in the bloody towel. All the

located betw een the inner

the facility was inescapable,

ESCAPEE

while Gerard was orchestrat­

and outer fences encircling

but that didn’t stop the wily

J o h n G erard

ing his escape, com m uni­

the cam p and using gasoline-

Dillinger. As the story goes,

PRISON

cating with his confederates

soaked tobacco to throw

he carved a fake Colt .38 from

T ow er o f London

using invisible ink m ade from

guard dogs off their scent.

wood (replica above) and

Knowing that once news o f

used it to scare a guard into

While incarcerated in the

night he hacked through his

their escape broke, guards

releasing him from his cell.

Tower o f London for the

cell door and made his way

would sound the alarm , the

He then locked up the rest o f

high crim e o f being a Jesuit

to the outer mat, where a boat

pair waited in total silence. On

the guards and fled to Chicago,

priest in Elizabethan England,

was awaiting him. Despite

the fourth day they emerged

where he plunged right back

Joh n Gerard was repeatedly

hands mangled from torture,

and fled to Slovakia, where

into criminal life. Well, for a

tortured but never divulged

Gerard managed to climb

they wrote the Vrba-Wetzler

few m onths anyway: He was

the w hereabouts o f his fellow

down a rope and into the

Report, alerting the world to

gunned down by a team o f

clergymen. He endured the

boat, then rowed down ye

the tragedy o f the Holocaust.

G-men later that year.

torture so well, in fact, that

olde Tham es to freedom.

YEAR

Houdini. After lubing up with

гспг

skin ointm ent, the 5'4" Choi

ESCAPEE

slithered through a 6"xl8" food

Choi G a p-bo k

slot in his cell before slipping

PRISON

past three sleeping guards to

Daegu, S o u th K orea

freedom. An investigator who reviewed footage o f the inci­

Choi Gap-bok com bined his

dent told reporters that Choi

criminal cunning and

escaped “in less than a minute

advanced yoga skills to

after moving flexibly like an

escape jail, earning him self

octopus.” The human octopus

the nickname the Korean

was recaptured six days later.

diluted orange ju ice. One


944 7 6 A llie d PQWs S ta la g L u ft III, G erm any W hen th e Nazis constructed Stalag Luft III, the goal was to m ake escape virtu a lly impossible. Barracks w ere set on stilts to discourage tunneling through the floors, and microphones w ere used to d etect the sound of digging. B u t th a t didn’t stop 2D O A llied PQW s from taking a stab at it. The G reat Escape, as it’s come to be known, fam ously involved th e digging of th ree tunnels:

YEAR

terred. With spit and a stone,

1755

he fashioned an iron spike,

ESCAPEE

which he smuggled to a fel­

Casanova

low inmate in a Bible topped

PRISON

with a plate o f pasta. After

The Leads, Ita ly

tunneling through the ceiling, the pair cam e upon one last

W hen he was finally arrested

impregnable door. Luckily

“ Tom,” “ Dick,” and “ H arry.” Harry, the only one to reach com pletion, was tricked out w ith air pumps, rail systems,

for his wicked ways, legendary

Casanova could impregnate

Italian cocksm an Giacomo

anything, and after being mis­

and electric lights, all m ade from scavenged m aterials. Two hundred PD W s m ade a break for it— 7 Б escaped, 7 3 w ere recaptured, and 5Q executed. U ltim a te ly only

Casanova was sentenced to

taken for civilians they were

five years in the Leads, an

released back into the world,

“inescapable” prison atop the

w here Casanova spent the rest

Doge’s Palace in Venice. But

o f his life making sweet love to

Casanova was not easily de­

everyone and everything.

th ree m ade it back to A llied territo ry, two of whom w ere so enraged th a t th ey headed right back into service.


ESCAPEES

Jo se p h J e n k in s Charles W a lk e r L u y n e s a n d Grasse P riso n s, France

PRISON

Ever since he was first incarcerated in the late ’9 0 s ,

F ra n k lin C o rre c tio n a l In s titu tio n , F lo rid a

prolific French criminal Pascal P ayet has taken part in three spectacular helicopter-borne escapes. In 20Q 1,

On Sep tem ber 27, convicted

while doing tim e fo r murder, P ayet and a fellow inm ate w ere plucked from prison in a helicopter his buddy had hijacked at gunpoint. A fte r two years on the lam, Payet

m urderer Josep h Jenkins

headed back to the same prison— aboard a helicopter— to pick up some pals he’d left behind, using a power saw

ing that his life sen ten ce had

walked out o f a Florida prison using forged docum ents stat­ been reduced. Eleven days

and a rope ladder to extract them from the prison yard (above). P ayet was subsequently captured, reincarcer­

later fellow inmate Charles

ated, and placed under heavy surveillance. Then, in 2 0 G 7 , a group of gunmen descended on the prison in yet

for Floridians, U.S. Marshals

another copter and snatched P ayet up again. Two months late r authorities found him in Spain and jailed him in a secret location, hopefully not n ext to a helicopter store.

Panam a City motel. Note to fu­

Walker did the same. Luckily found the duo shacked up in a gitives: If you’re going to flee, try crossing state lines, OK?


T H IS WAY OUT

H IS T O R Y ’S MOST D A R IN G ESC A P ES

YEAR

1983 ESCAPEES

3 8 IR A p a ra m ilita rie s PRISON

Maze P riso n , B e lfa s t During the “troubles” of Northern Ireland in the latter half o f the 2 0 th century, Maze Prison housed those co n ­ victed o f paramilitary activity, m ost o f them m em bers o f the Irish Republican Army. Heav­ ily fortified, the Maze was considered one o f the world’s m ost escap ep roof peniten­ tiaries. But in 1983 a group of IRA prisoners pulled off the biggest escap e in the U.K.’s history. After accumulating a small arsenal o f weapons, the inmates ju m p ed the guards and took them hostage. A hijacked food truck then fer­ ried the inm ates to the main gate. Thirty-eight prisoners successfully escaped, leaving seven guards w o u n d e d -o n e fatally-in their wake.

YEAR

free Jenkin and fellow inmates

1979

Stephen Lee and Alex Moum­

ESCAPEES

baris spent 18 m onths carving

Tim J e n k in , S tephen Lee, A le x M oum baris

steel door that stood betw een

PRISON

their cells and freedom . To

P re to r ia , S o u th A fric a

ensure the keys properly fit

10 wooden keys, one for each

the locks, the trio made count­ In apartheid South Africa in

less dry runs. And it paid off',

the ’70s, Pretoria Central Pri­

at least until they cam e to an

son was the official site o f

11th door. Using a chisel, they

capital punishm ent, and it’s

managed to break it open

where Tim Jenkin was serving

and, once outside, escaped

12 years for distributing anti­

South Africa and eventually

apartheid literature. To break

settled in England.

YEAR

Libby was infamous for its

18Б4

squalid conditions and high

ESCAPEES

m ortality rate. The escape

1 0 9 Union A r m y o ffic e rs

began when 109 inmates chiseled a passage into an

PRISON

abandoned, rat-infested se c­

L ib b y P riso n , V irg in ia

tion o f the prison’s basem ent, then tunneled through the

During the Am erican Civil

floor, resurfacing 17 days

War, 1 ,0 0 0 Union Army

later under a nearby tobacco

officers were incarcerated at

shed. They hit the streets o f

the Confederate-run Libby

Richm ond, and 59 ultimately

Prison in Richm ond, Virginia.

m ade it back to Union terri­

A converted warehouse on

tory, w here they presumably

the banks o f the Jam es River,

smoked victory cigars.


& J A ME S — KI NG

ALMOST E VE R Y T HI NG S S ABOUT " C A S T I N G COUCH" PORN l/" B OGUS , BUT THOSE “* I NNOCE NT COE DS WHO THI NK _ THEY' RE IN ON THE J OKE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT' S REALLY

EE

Ecu MI N G

NEXT.

0 4 :2 0 1 4 .


г L

THE S L E A Z IE S T C A S T IN G COUCH IN A M E R I C A

и J

he drive from A rizona S ta te U n iversity’s Tempe campus to the nondescript office in an industrial park behind the Scottsdale Municipal A irp o rt is relatively short, 3 0 minutes or so. But for an 18-year-old A S U freshman from a small town in Texas, it seemed to ta k e fo re v e r— and would prove to be the most fa te fu l trip of her life. It was a warm Septem ber night in 2010

He pretends to be a talent agent who can

they h adn ’t ju s t spent 3 0 m inutes to ­

when the young wom an, whom w e’ll call

help young m odels interested in porn

gether in a c a r - a n d invites her inside.

Stacey, walked out o f her dormitory in the

m ake thousands o f dollars a day by in ­

heart o f Tem pe, hopped into the passen­

troducing them to casting directors. The

he asks to see som e ID. Stacey happily

ger seat o f a car driven by a middle-aged

catch is they have to have sex with him

displays both her driver’s license and her

m an nam ed Eric W hittaker, and took

on film -fo r f r e e - s o he has som ethin g to

ASU student ID c a r d - a move that later

the short drive north. If the two talked,

show these alleged directors.

would prove to be a life-altering m istake.

Stacey doesn’t rem em ber the conversa­ tion, only that it was “uncom fortable.” S ta ce y ’s sen se o f d iscom fort was not

The two briefly m ake small talk before

In his introduction to each video, the u n seen W hittaker explains, “Backroom Casting Couch is a Web site about the

TH E V A LLE Y O F T H E SUN HAS BE-

m isplaced. The stocky, o th erw ise forget­

real-life interactions that o ccu r during

com e a m agnet for this type o f low-bud-

table W h ittaker h appened to be an a m a ­

adult m odeling interview s,” before

get am ateur porn. In addition to BRCC,

teu r porn ograph er, one who o p erates

describing in explicit detail what th ese

th e r e ’s Am ateur Allure, the Lightspeed

at least two Sco ttsd ale-b ased Web sites

m odels will be doing.

Media netw ork, Aziani.com , T aryn It Up

that m ake sp ort out o f preying upon,

But th en he lets viewers in on a little

E n tertain m en t, and countless others.

and in m any cases h um iliating, fem ale

secret: “I’m not a talent agent...and there

T here are gay sites, softcore sites, and

m em bers o f ASU’s young, o ften naive,

is no m odeling jo b .”

big-time production studios all based in

and overw helm ingly attractiv e student

In Stacey ’s clip the scene starts with

body. And Stacey, a th in , leggy blonde,

hom e-video-quality footage o f W hittaker

even founded h er Club Jen n a em pire in

was on her way to his single-desk office

sitting alone in an office talking into a

the Phoenix Valley. Why do they com e

to be his “m o d el” for the night.

cam era. He th en goes into the hallway,

to the d esert to set up shop? Well, one

walks outside, and finds Stacey waiting.

reason is girls like Stacey: cute young

He pretends to introduce h im s e lf-a s if

coed s struggling to m ake tuition at one

For one o f W h ittak er’s sites, Backroom Casting Couch, the gim m ick is simple:

the Valley. Porn legend Je n n a Jam eson


o f the biggest party schools in the cou n ­

as university adm inistrators, who are

try. T h at’s w here guys like W hittaker

desperately trying to rebrand ASU as the

C ourtney Sim pson) left ASU, she took

(who didn’t respond to multiple calls

“New Am erican University,” an institution

h er ch e erle a d er outfit w ith h e r -a n d

seeking com m ents) com e in.

th a t’s better known for its sustainability

wore it as she had se x in a film called

research and top-notch business school

Gina Lynn’s D ouble Dutch.

Several young wom en featured on W h ittaker’s sites have b een identified as ASU students, including som e, like Stacey,

than for keg parties and porn stars. In 2 0 0 2 the university selected Michael

W hen C ou rtn ey Cox (stage nam e:

Once again the university leaped into actio n , rep orted ly seek in g legal

so brazen as to display th eir student IDs.

Crow as its new president and tasked him

reco u rse against the prod uction co m ­

W h ittaker’s o th er Web site, Exploited

with leading the charge. Shortly after his

pany for trad em ark and in tellectu al

College Girls, is slightly less gimmicky.

appointm ent, Crow was hit with his first

p rop erty in frin gem en t co n cern in g the

T h e re ’s no pretense o f ignorance on the

o f m any porn scandals.

A zizona State ch eerlead in g uniform .

part o f the wom en featured on the site;

The previous Sep tem b er an am ateur

th e y ’re simply th ere for sex. But it plays

porn outfit called S h an e’s World decided

off the sam e general them e: giving the

to shoot a film at ASU in w hich fem ale

ap p earan ce o f exploiting young women.

porn stars w alked into frat houses and

the p o ster girl for the u n iv ersity’s m ost

It’s right th ere in the nam e.

p erform ed a variety o f sex acts with

re ce n t triple-X h ead ach e.

Exploited College Girls doesn’t exclu­ sively feature girls from ASU, or even from Arizona. Many com e from Florida,

So it’s n ot as if A rizona State has c o n ­ doned th is b e h a v io r -fa r from it. But th is brings us b ack to Stacey,

the residents. They dubbed it a “sexual scavenger h u nt.” Enter Brian Buck, a hard-partying fra­

S I T T I N G IN W H I T T A K E R ’ S O F F I C E ,

Texas, California, and other states, but

ternity broth er at one o f the university’s

Stacey knew she was in over her head,

th ey’re often flown into Scottsdale to

m ost unruly houses, Sigma Nu.

even though she was fully cognizant o f

shoot their scenes. In each case the pro­

In one o f the Shane’s World scenes, porn

W h ittak er’s “casting co u ch ” gim m ick.

ducer identifies the c o lle g e -o r in some

star Calli Cox knocks on the door o f the

Anyone who buys into the notion that

cases the high sch o o l-th a t the young

Sigma Nu house and explains what she

his “m o d e ls” have no idea th e y ’ve b een

woman attends and then briefly explains

and the Shan e’s World crew are up to. Cut

brought to his office for se x might as

why she decided to appear in a low-bud-

to Cox and Buck filming a shower scene

well ask h im for a tour o f his u n icorn

get porn flick. The typical answer: money.

together as his frat buddies chant “Buck,

ran ch , too. The m odels know W hittaker

Buck, Buck!” in the background.

isn’t a talen t agent befo re th ey ever take

But while m any o f the girls featured on ECG claim to com e from schools like

Fast-forward six m onths and Buck

a seat on his infam ous black leath er

UCLA or USC, th e m ajority identify th em ­

is elected executive vice president o f

couch. They know h e ’s not sending th eir

selves as ASU Sun Devils.

ASU’s Associated Students. Before long

“d em o ” to d irecto rs. And th ey know

the adm inistration catches wind o f the

th e y ’re gettin g paid, typically $ 2 ,0 0 0 ,

Arizona State as a “bottom less well of

video and acts swiftly. After a full-scale

to feign obliviousness to th e fact that

exploitable college girls” that includes

investigation, Buck is evicted from Sigma

th e y ’re about to have se x w ith a middle-

such Sun Devils as “Skyler,” “Mindy,”

Nu, ban ned from cam pus housing and

aged m an in an em p ty office on the edge

“Savannah,” and “Ashley.”

em ploym ent, and placed on p erm an en t

o f the d esert. In o th er words, it may be

probation. Today he runs an auto w hole­

“am ateu r,” but it’s still all an act.

On the ECG site the producer d escribes

Eric W hittaker isn’t the first pornographer to find a wealth o f “talent” at ASU; the university and the Phoenix Valley

sale business in Oregon. A few years later ASU had another

In Stacey ’s case, the hookup with W hittaker cam e by way o f a convicted

have a long history with dirty movies,

scandal involving a university ch eer­

sex offender nam ed Antonio Gonzalez.

which has led to speculation that Arizona

leader w ho’d left the Sun Devil squad

could becom e the next m ecca o f the adult

to pursue a career in porn, one that b e ­

charges related to child pornography,

industry. That has proved to be a thorn

gan with a scene with the Phoenix-based

and he is now looking at a rather lengthy

in the heel o f local politicians as well

production com pany Am ateur Allure.

prison sen ten ce after pleading guilty

Gonzalez was arrested in 2010 on

WHITTAKER P RE T E NDS TO BE A TALENT AGENT WHO CAN HELP YOUNG MODELS MAKE THOUS ANDS OF DOLLARS A DAY B Y I NTRODUCI NG THEM TO CASTI NG DI RECTORS. THE CATCH IS THEY HAVE TO HAVE S E X WITH HIM.

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

M A X I M

7 9


SHORTLY AFTER SHE SI GNED THE CONTRACT, S T ACE Y S f t Y S , WHITTAKER AND GONZALEZ EXPLAI NED TO HER THE PART SHE FAILED TO NOTI CE BEFORE SI GNI NG. BUT, THEY SAI D, THERE WAS A WAY OUT. О

in November to sexual exploitation o f a

tact an attorney, Stacey gave in, and the

Stacey says. “Som eone tells th em they

minor. But before getting pinched, he

n ext thing she knew she was sitting there

are pretty and should m odel, they b e ­

ran a less-than-reputable agency called

in this crum m y office with Whittaker.

lieve them , and ta-da, th ese scam artists

Gonzo Modeling, w hich gained a degree

After Stacey flashed her ASU ID, the

have th em in the palm s o f th eir hands.”

o f notoriety for groom ing girls for many

pair engaged in a bit m ore small talk, and

W hen alerted to the fact that th ere are

o f the Valley’s shady am ateur porn

th en , like m any young w om en before her

dozens o f w om en identifying them selves

operations, including W h ittak er’s.

and many since, Stacey was naked on

as ASU students on a raunchy amateur-

the cou ch with W hittaker standing over

porn Web site, university spokesw om an

about G onzalez’s reputation and was

her exp laining that he needed to see her

Sharon Keeler seem s to be in denial.

happy to sign a co n tra ct with him on the

perform sexually before he could show

recom m endation o f an oth er photogra­

her “dem o ta p e ” to casting directors.

New to Arizona, Stacey didn’t know

pher sh e ’d con tacted w hen she started looking for m odeling work. At first the business relationship b e ­ tw een Stacey and “G onzo” was every­ thing sh e ’d hoped for as an aspiring

“They c a n ’t ju st hire a pretty face,” he

at ASU,” Keeler says. “We are unaware o f the situation you d escribe and are

explains w hen she pretends to resist,

interested to know what inform ation

knowing full well w h at’s in store.

you have gathered and from whom that

Sim ultaneously, Stacey, who wanted out, was planning h er escape.

model. “We did beautiful and very taste­

“I was terrified,” she recalls.

ful photographs before anything about

Reluctantly playing the role o f a clu e­

porn was ever m en tion ed ,” she says.

“T here is no ‘am ateur porn industry’

attests to the reality o f an am ateur porn industry in the area that is recruiting ASU students.” And it’s true: The university d o esn ’t

less w an nabe porn star, Stacey asks if

have a porn industry; it ju s t happens to

sh e ’ll be getting paid for the scene. Told

be surrounded by one. ASU’s own weekly

Stacey, Gonzalez th en m et her at the ASU

“not today,” she gives in, as scripted, and

student m agazine ran an article in 2010

student union and brought his pal Whit­

she and W hittaker get down to business.

with the headline “Does ASU Have a

But the trap was set. According to

taker along with him. Stacey says the

While the drive to the industrial park

Porn Problem ?” It certainly d oesn ’t help

two presented her with a con tract that

had been uncom fortable, Stacey describes

that the Exploited College Girls Web site

provided her with steady work as long as

the ride back to her dorm as “a blur.”

features m ore th an a few fem ale ASU

she m odeled exclusively for Gonzo.

W hen W hittaker dropped her oft', he

students or that the porn site Sun Devil

In her 18-year-old m ind, Stacey had

handed her $ 2 , 0 0 0 “for her troubles.”

Angels celebrated a nonexistent co n ­

made it: a m odeling co n tract that would

Stacey says she th en went back to her

nection to the university until a lawsuit

help pay the bills while she attended ASU

dorm and cried. “I got sick after every­

forced it to shut down last year.

on a $ 3 0 , 0 0 0 scholarship. She signed

thing was done. I threw up for a good

Mike South is a 20-year veteran of the

without blinking an eye.

15 m inutes,” she says. She told no one

am ateur porn genre and runs two am a­

about her night on W h ittak er’s couch.

teur Web sites, as well as a porn gossip

But according to Stacey, th ere was some fine print she had neglected to

blog th a t’s broken some o f the biggest

read, specifically the part about having

news in the adult industry. “My interview

to have sex with a dumpy, middle-aged

T H E T R U T H 15 T H A T , D E S P I T E A S U ’ S

process is like this: I’m looking for reasons

low-budget-porn producer on film.

pornographic past, the university isn ’t a

not to shoot you,” he tells Maxim. “If it’s a

breeding ground for w annabe sex stars.

nice girl from a nice family, I’ll ask, ‘Why

W hittaker and Gonzalez explained the

It is, however, the largest university in

the hell do you want to do som ething like

clause sh e ’d failed to notice. But, they

th e country, and pornographers have

this?’ I don’t want a girl to do it for the

said, th ere was a way out.

noticed that it’s an easy hunting ground.

wrong reason. I don’t want to put m yself

“T here are a ton o f beautiful w om en at

in a position where she’ll be com ing back

Shortly after signing, Stacey says,

“[They told me] I had to pay a $ 3 ,5 0 0 fee if I didn’t do it. I w asn’t sm art enough

ASU, m ost o f th em from small com m u n i­

to know it was a sca m ,” she says.

ties around the country who d on’t know

Without the $ 3 ,5 0 0 , or the sense to con­

the dangers o f assholes like W hittaker,”

to me telling me to take it down.” Ethan Singer, who owns an adult video store near the ASU cam pus, says the


porn industry in Phoenix is different

None o f th ese sites bo th ered to check

and ASU’s deans and presidents were

to see if the story was actually true, and

very quick to talk to me to m ake sure

“A lot o f the girls I know who did porn

it w asn’t: Stacey never lost her scholar­

I was OK,” Stacey says. “I had the ASU

in the V a lley -it’s not like L.A., it’s not like

ship; nor had ASU even heard about her

Legal D epartm ent and Counseling and

th ey ’re happy about it,” he says. “Most

video until it was reported in the media.

Consultation on my side throughout the

o f the girls who are serious about it are

T ru e or not, an ASU girl doing porn

than it is in other c it i e s - it ’s sleazier.

process, and they alm ost im m ediately

gonna go to L. A. or Miami, but th e re ’s all

was n oth ing new, and th erefo re not a

started sending legal notices o f my intent

these am ateur Web sites in Phoenix.”

story. An ASU girl losing a sch olarsh ip

to sue for m isusing inform ation.”

In Singer’s opinion, several contribut­ ing factors have m ade Arizona attractive

for doing porn was.

As for what sh e’d say to o th er young

A few other Backroom Casting Couch al­

Sun Devils tem pted by the easy money

to am ateur porn producers, P h o en ix ’s

ums also appeared on TheDirty.com, and

that guys like W hittaker are offering:

proxim ity to ASU being one o f them .

in several cases they too were pictured on

“D on’t ever do it. It may sound easy, but

“If I w anted to ,” he says, “I could put

W hittaker’s couch holding their ASU IDs.

it was awful, and I’m still paying for it

up a Craigslist ad right now, and within

“I didn’t know it was viral online until

today. T here is always an oth er option.”

3 0 m inutes I would have an endless

O ctober 10,” Stacey says o f the story. “I

num ber o f girls looking to do it.”

rem em b er th e day very, very well. I had

crim in al d efense atto rn ey in P h oen ix,

never even seen porn until hundreds o f

if S ta ce y ’s story about W h ittak er th re a t­

people sent m e links o f myself.

ening to sue her in ord er to fulfill th eir

F O L L O W IN G H E R S C E N E , S TA C E Y

“I still hardly talk to anyone about it.

A ccording to R ichard G axiola, a

co n tract is tru e, th en he has broken

retu rn ed to her dorm figuring the

I was very shy and em barrassed by the

worst was over. In reality, though, the

whole th ing,” she says. “I’m not the kind

co n seq u en ces o f getting into bed with

o f w om an to find m yself the laughing­

person for purposes o f prostitution may

W hittaker, figuratively and literally,

stock o f the porn world.”

even be stronger if h er facts are tru e ,”

were ju s t getting started.

But it w asn’t ju st the porn world. Short­

several A rizona laws. “P rocu rem en t by false pretenses o f a

Gaxiola says. “[If] a person knowingly,

She says W hittaker assured h er that

ly after she filmed the video, her friends,

by false representations or other fraudu­

her video would ap p ear only beh in d a

her family, the university, and the blogo-

lent m eans, procures any other person

pay wall on the B ackroom Casting Couch

sphere found out about Stacey’s trip to the

to have illicit carn al relation, they are

site. W hat actually happened was that

casting couch. The negative attention and

guilty o f a Class 6 felony.”

W hittaker blasted S ta ce y ’s video onto

endless harassm ent ultimately led to her

the In tern et via free porn sites like Porn-

leaving school, but not before a nervous

the co u n ty ’s top prosecutor, M aricopa

Hub and YouPo rn .co m , w here anyone

breakdow n and a suicide attempt.

County attorney Bill M on tgom ery-h as

with a laptop could view it.

“I cam e about two secon d s from ju m p ­

For W hittaker the only thing better

One local elected official in P h o e n ix -

vowed to fight the porn industry at every

ing off the Mill Avenue Bridge before

tu rn , accusing pornographers o f engag­

than getting an 18-year-old ASU girl to

som eon e stopped me and ca rried m e to

ing in prostitution.

have sex with him on film is getting an

the b e a ch park and m ade sure I called

18-year-old ASU girl to have sex with him

som eon e to pick m e up,” Stacey says.

on film and having the whole world know

For the record, she has nothing but

Still, Gaxiola cites several “con stitu ­ tional hurdles” that m ake it difficult to prosecute pornographers under state

about it. Shortly after Stacey filmed her

good things to say about the way the

pandering or prostitution laws because

scene, a post appeared on gossip site

university responded to her situation.

th ere is no “cu sto m er”- t h e people being

TheDirty.com , which has broken som e

“ASU was really great. The Arizona

paid are actors who are not techn ically

big-time stories (including that o f sham ed

Board o f Regents refused to com m ent,

being paid for sex. Rather, th e y ’re know­

form er congressm an Anthony Weiner),

ingly being paid to appear in movies that

about an 18-year-old who lost her $ 3 0 ,0 0 0

ju st happen to have sex in them .

scholarship to ASU because she appeared in a porn film. But not only did she ap­ pear in the film; she also flashed her ASU student ID. The story h ad to be legit.

A lawyer could argue that W hittaker

Г

и

W ithin hours the m edia, including

B Y

less news services, were reporting that a student had lost her scholarship b e ­

to have sex with him , but given the la n ­ guage o f the law, it would be a stretch. In o th er words, with the sta te’s lack

P 0 F: N

London’s Daily Mail, Gawker, and count­

is tech n ically a custom er paying wom en

o f regulation o f the porn in d u stry -an d

THE

with no shortage o f attractive, young, naive w o m en -sh ad y porn producers

N U M В E F: S

cause she did porn. And they all featured

like W hittaker will continue to flock to

a picture o f Stacey holding her ASU ID.

the Valley o f the Sun. v

£13 BILLION ANNUAL AMOUNT G E N E R A T E D BY T H E U .S . PORN IN D U S T R Y

L

14.7 BILLION N U M B E R OF PORNHUB V I S I T O R S IN E Q 13

J

3 .1 4 MILLION N U M B E R OF T IM E S “ S T A C E Y 'S " V ID E O H A S BEEN V IE W E D ON Y O U P O R N

о v ER 507. FEM ALE PORN PERFORMERS W H O F IL M ONLY ONE S C E N E B E F O R E Q U IT T IN G .

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

M A X I M


3

A

L

.

L

S

ТО

/ «н »\

ЙЛшалг

THE

w a l l

тн D i

ТН

T h e N F L , N B A , N H L , and M L B not e n o u g h to q u e n c h your t h i r s t fo r s p o r t s ? T h e n t a k e a tr ip aro u n d t h e g l o b e and m a r v e l at m a n k i n d ’s m o s t p e c u l i a r p a s t i m e s . P a s s t h e d e c a p i t a t e d g o a t — w e ’ re open! by BEN K A SSO Y

Glorified Recess Game

Текст

Protect Your Nuts


If Disney on Ice isn’t in town the next time you’re in Afghanistan, take the kids to

Ж М

X

V

B U Z K A SH I C A TCH A G AM E H E R E : A fghanistan

a gam e o f bu zkash i , or goat dragging. You’ll see horsem en struggling to control a decapitated goat carcass. (Or as the travel brochu re probably says, “Fun for the whole family!”) The rules are sim ple yet strictly enforced by military officers: Ride into the end zone holding the dead goat, d on’t use w eapons to m urder your opponent, and don’t fall off and die. OK, kids, who wants som e cotton candy?

“ See, Dad? I to ld y o u I’d g o p r o ! ” s a id t h e g o a t .

Ж

CAR SO C C E R C A TCH A GAM E H E R E : E ngland

Made famous by BBC’s Top Gear; car so c c e r-a h e m , “car football,” as they insist on calling it - is like a David Beckham cam eo in Tokyo Drift . Two teams o f five drivers slide out, burn rubber, and inevita­ bly collide trying to push a giant ball into a net. Also played at demolition derbies across the U.S., it’s like regular soccer, only on four wheels and, er, watchable.

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

M A X I M

8

3


BE A C H A M P IO N Two six-player team s equipped with small sticks and snorkels grapple on the bottom o f

U N D ERW A TER HOCKEY C A T C H A G A M E H E R E : A ustralia

a pool for a weighted puck in this odd hybrid,

T H E S E A R E D E F IN IT E L Y T H E O D D E S T C O M P E T IT IO N S O U T THERE. GO GET SO M E GLORY!

which started in England but is now popular worldwide. Expect lots o f gasping for air and slow-motion tangling o f limbs. Ice hockey players may scoff”, until they black out from overexertion. You haven’t lived till you’ve been cross-checked by a man in a Speedo.

T w o m i n u t e s in th e p e n a lty b ox f o r p e e in g .

F L O R A -B A M A M U LLE T TOSS S o u t h e r n e r s ra is e m o n e y fo r c h a rity by c o m p e tin g t o to s s a d e a d f is h — c a lle d a m u lle t— a cro s s th e A la b a m a s t a t e lin e in to F l o r i d a . I t ’s ( o b v i o u s l y ) f o l ­

—ч Щ Л ~

ГК

lo w e d b y a b ik in i c o n te s t. G o e s d o w n in : A p r i l C lic k :

flo raba m a .co m

C H E E S E R O L L IN G D ru n ke n B rits c h a s e a c o v ­ e te d w heel o f c h e e se dow n a h ill s o s t e e p i t ’s a l m o s t a c liff. T h e y t u m b l e d o w n a n d (lite ra lly ) b re a k th e ir c ro w n s fo r a c h a n c e a t th e grand p riz e : th e c h e e s e its e lf! G o e s d o w n in : M a y C lic k :

ch e e se-rolling.co.uk

Finally, a sport for mall cops! Popularizing this dorktastic gam e is the second m ost notable

fir SEG W A Y P O L O

accom plishm ent o f Apple cofounder Steve

C A TC H A G A M E H E R E : San Francisco

at a m ax speed o f 12.5 mph. Also, “right o f

G R E A S E D -P O L E C L IM B

way” rules prohibit cutting off”other players.

In d o n e s ia n s c e le b ra te th e ir

If you’re lucky, som eone will score. If you’re

c o u n t r y ’s i n d e p e n d e n c e by c lim b in g g ia n t g re a s e d

N ope, n o th in g n e rd y g o in g on here!

Wozniak. It’s played like regular polo, only

really lucky, som e hedge-fund ow ner will take an epic fall from his $ 6 ,0 0 0 nerdm obile.

p o le s t o p p e d w ith h o u s e ­ h o ld a p p lia n c e s . ( A p p a r ­ e n t l y S e a r s is c l o s e d o n n a tio n a l h o lid a y s .) G o e s d o w n in : A u g u s t C lic k :

ind o n esia .tra vel

N O R T H A M E R IC A N W IF E C A R R Y IN G C H A M P IO N S H IP W h ip p e d d u d e s haul th e ir w iv e s th ro u g h a T o u g h M u d d e r-e s q u e course. B ig g e s t c h a lle n g e s : s a n d ­ p its , w a te r o b s ta c le s , a n d in c e s s a n t n a g g in g . G o e s d o w n in : O c t o b e r C lic k :

8

4

M A X I M

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

wife-carrying.org


S o rry , Top G u n: Y o u ’ve ju s t been o u t s e x ie d .

Bossaball makes other beach gam es seem as fun as Excel. T h at’s because team s o f four to five bounce around on tram polines surrounded by inflatables, then bum p, set,

ШР

B O S S A B A LL

spike, or bicycle-kick the ball over a net. Even the re f is m ore like a cruise ship’s poolside gam es director. He makes calls, sure, but also mans a m icrophone, drums, and a DJ set as a sexy soundtrack bum ps in the background. Just imagine Pitbull in zebra

C A T C H A G A M E H E R E : Spain

stripes making simultaneous out-of-bounds and frozen-margarita calls.

T h a n k God t h e y h ave fre e h e a lth care.

Ж

ft

X

v

*

ROYAL S H R O V E TID E F O O T B A LL

TE A M S N O W B A LL FIG H TIN G

C A TC H A GAM E H E R E : England

CATCH A GAME H ER E: Japan

An English tow n’s annual football game m eets soccer riot

More than 2 0 , 0 0 0 spectators trudge to the annual Showa-

makes the NFL look as hardcore as The View. It sounds familiar:

Shinzan International Yukigassen Tournam ent, w here team s

two team s, two end zones, one ball. Difference is, each team

from around the (snow) globe dodge, dip, dive, and duck

has hundreds o f drunken players, the end zones are separated

around a volleyball-size court lined with barricades. Think

by an entire town, and the ball is a human head (well, used to

o f it as dodgeball m eets capture the flag, as team s eliminate

be, until they changed the rules). The main r u l e - “Murder and

opponents with direct hits, then try to grab a flag from the

manslaughter are barred ”-s till stands. Thank goodness!

other team ’s side. W hat’s Japanese for “Bundle up, bitch!”?

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

M A X I M

8

5


D E TR O IT

M IAM I

C r i m e l o w l i g h t s : L a s t y e a r D e t r o i t ’s p o l i c e c e l e b r a t e d re a c h in g 3 6 h o u rs w ith o u t a h o m ic id e . W a y t o g o, g u y s !

C r i m e l o w l i g h t s : A m a n w a s v i c i o u s l y a s s a u l t e d b y h is la d y fo r n o t re p ly in g w h e n a s k e d if th e tu r k e y g o t b a s te d . « O n e c o u p le p is to l- w h ip p e d a g u y w h o b o tc h e d t h e ir c o ffe e order.

• M M A f i g h t e r C h a r l e s R o w a n ( w h o ’d j u s t f a k e d h is o w n d e a th o ve r a d ru g d e b t) w a s b u s te d fo r ro b b in g a gun s to re w ith a h a m m e r. • H ig h la n d P a rk m a y o r D e a n d re W in d o m w a s s h o t w h ile p a r ty in g a t th e c lu b w h ile fo r m e r m a y o r K w a m e K i l p a t r i c k w a s p a r t y i n g in j a il o n c o r r u p t i o n c h a r g e s . • P e o p l e a r e s o p o o r t h e y ’ re u s i n g c o p p e r s t o l e n f r o m s c r a p y a r d s a s c u r r e n c y . « А g r i e v i n g m a n l o o t e d h is f a t h e r ’s r e ­ m a i n s f o r a p l a n n e d r e s u r r e c t i o n . L o v e n e v e r d ie s !

• A m a n w a s th re a te n e d w ith a k n ife fo r a s k in g a d in n e r g u e s t t o s t o p p i c k i n g a t t h e h a m b e f o r e it w a s p la t e d . • A r e l i g i o u s R o m e o t r e a t e d h is g i r l f r i e n d t o a f o r c e d e x o r c i s m . •An a r m e d r o b b e r w h o c o u l d n ’t g e t a s i t t e r b r o u g h t h e r b a b i e s a lo n g . • A d o g o w n e r w a s s t a b b e d a f t e r h is p o o c h a t e h is g i r l f r i e n d ’s p o t . ® O n e d u d e k ille d h is lo v e r b e c a u s e h e d i d n ’t lik e h e r a s t r o l o g i c a l s ig n . (In f a i r n e s s , s h e was a T a u r u s . )

T H E K O O K IEQ T C R IM E C IT IE S IN A M E R IC A

NEW O R L E A N S

O K L A H O M A CITY

C r i m e l o w l i g h t s : A m a n w a s s o h u n g r y he f i r e d a g u n a t h is

C r i m e l o w l i g h t s : “ D e a t h b y a t o m i c w e d g i e ” is n o w a rea l w a y t o d ie , t h a n k s t o a n O K C m a n w h o k i l l e d h is s t e p d a d b y y a n k i n g h is u n d i e s o v e r h is h e a d a n d s u f f o c a t i n g h im .

w i f e w h e n s h e d i d n ’t k n o w w h a t w a s f o r d in n e r . * A w o m a n w o k e u p h e r la z y b e a u b y p o u r i n g b o i l i n g w a t e r o n h im . H e s m a r t l y d i d n ’t h i t t h e s n o o z e b u t t o n . • W h e n a f i s h e r i e s a g e n t t o l d a m a n t o s t o p f i s h i n g f o r o y s t e r s in p o l l u t e d w a te rs , th e m a n re s p o n d e d w ith a h a tc h e t a tta c k . • A c e r­ ta in g r a n n y d e s e rv e s a “ W o r ld ’s W o r s t ” m u g f o r n a ilin g h er g ra n d s o n w ith a k n ife s h e th re w a t h e r e x -b o y frie n d . • O n e g u y i m p r i s o n e d h is p a l f o r s m o k i n g c r a c k w i t h o u t h im . T h e r e ’s a r e a s o n N O L A is p r o n o u n c e d “ n o la w .”

• U p o n b e i n g a r r e s t e d , a m a l e a n d a f e m a l e p e r p h id l o a d e d g u n s up th e ir re s p e c tiv e r e c tu m a n d la d y p a rts . T h e gal g o t f i n g e r e d d u r i n g a s e a r c h , b u t t h e d u d e m a d e i t 16 h o u r s in h is c e l l , u n t i l g u a r d s h e a r d h im b r a g g i n g a b o u t h i s p o o p e r s h o o t e r . •A w o m a n t o l d c o p s t h a t s h e ’d s e d u c e d h e r c a t ( w h i l e t h r e a t e n i n g t o k n i f e a n e i g h b o r ) . •A P e e p i n g T o m g o t c o z y in t h e s e p t i c t a n k o f a p u b l i c r e s t r o o m . S h i t h e a d .

Текст 8

6

M A X I M

A P R I L

2 0 1 4


SAN F R A N C ISC O

CAMDEN, N .J.

C r i m e l o w l i g h t s : A 2 6 - y e a r - o l d b i t a n d p u m m e l e d h is p a r e n t s w h e n t h e y w o u l d n ’t a l l o w h im t o s e e t h e f a m i l y

C r i m e l o w l i g h t s : R e s i d e n t s d e s c r i b e life in C a m d e n a s “ lik e A r m a g e d d o n , ” a n d t h e y d o n ’t m e a n t h e s h i t t y m o v i e

c a t. • S o m e b o d y p o is o n e d b o ttle s o f S ta r b u c k s o ra n g e ju ic e . Hey, s ta y a w a y fro m o u r m a c c h ia to s , y o u m o n s te r ! • A m a n t r i e d t o t h r o w h is w i f e o v e r a b r i d g e , b u t k a r m a

w h e r e B e n A f f l e c k p u t s a n i m a l c r a c k e r s o n L i v T y l e r ’s b e lly . • T h e c i t y l o s t h a l f i t s p o l i c e f o r c e in 2011 t o f u n d i n g c u t s , a n d as a r e s u lt— s u rp ris e !— b u rg la rie s e x p lo d e d by 6 5

i n t e r v e n e d a n d h e f e ll in h i m s e l f . » A r o b b e r h e ld u p a s c h o o l’ s b in g o fu n d -ra is e r. * A m a n a s s a u lte d s e v e ra l s u b ­

p e rc e n t. • W h e n th e p e r c a p ita m u rd e r ra te g re w t o Ю tim e s t h a t o f N.Y.C., C a m d e n c l a i m e d t h e t i t l e o f M o s t D a n g e r o u s

w a y rid e rs w ith v io le n t n a k e d a c ro b a tic s . • A n o th e r tra in c o m m u t e r s m o k e d c r a c k a n d t h e n m a d e lo v e t o a s e a t . In S a n F ra n , a l w a y s t a k e t h e t r o l l e y .

P l a c e in A m e r i c a . • A t h i r d o f t h e s h o t s f i r e d d o n ’t e v e n g e t r e p o r t e d , b e c a u s e l o c a l s c a n ’t b e b o t h e r e d . W e t a k e it b a c k : T h i s m i g h t a c t u a l l y b e w o r s e t h a n a B e n A f f l e c k m o v ie .

We e x a m i n e d t h o u s a n d s o f p o l i c e b l o t t e r s t o fin d t h e b a t - s h i t t i e s t c o m m u n i t y o f c r i m i n a l s in t h e c o u n tr y . D e g e n e r a t e s , rent y o u r U - H a u ls now . Or j u s t s t e a l o n e !

BALTIMORE

CHICAGO

C rim e lo w lig h ts : A n im p ris o n e d g a n g le a d e r m a n a g e d to r u n a d r u g - s m u g g l i n g r in g w i t h h e lp f r o m 13 f e m a l e p r i s o n g u a r d s , f o u r o f w h o m w e r e c a r r y i n g h is b a b i e s . • S p e a k i n g

C r im e lo w lig h t s : E x - m a y o r C h e s te r S tr a n c z e k h e lp e d p ip e p o llu te d w a te r in to c o n s t it u e n t s ’ fa u c e ts . M m m , c h e m ic a ls ! • A h u s k y c u s to m e r b lu d g e o n e d a s to re o w n e r w ith a b a t

o f g r e a t m o m s , a lo c a l m a n w a s h u m i l i a t e d w h e n h is p o l i c e s t a n d o f f w a s i n t e r r u p t e d b y h is o v e r b e a r i n g m a , w h o s w i p e d h is w e a p o n s — t w o s w o r d s ! — a n d t h e n b e g a n

fo r n o t c a rry in g X X X L ta n k to p s . • O n e th ir s ty p e rp c ra s h e d in to t w o a p a r t m e n t s d e m a n d in g b e e r, th e n s ta b b e d a w in e l o v e r w i t h a c o r k s c r e w . • A p a i r o f l o v e b i r d s d id s o m e s t a b ­

a s ta n d o ff o f h e r o w n. • O n e p o e tic p e rv w a n te d to w rite lo v e n o t e s t o a l a d y h e ’d b e e n p e e p i n g o n , a n d s i n c e he

b in g o f t h e i r o w n ( n u d g e , n u d g e ) o n t o p o f t w o c o r p s e s . • A n d f o r th e fin a le , a n a k e d s tr e e t d a n c e r s h a tte re d a

d i d n ’t h a v e a n y P o s t - i t s h a n d y , he u s e d t h e b a c k o f h is o w n c o u r t s u m m o n s . R o m a n c e i s n ’t d e a d — i t ’s in p r is o n !

w in d s h ie ld w ith h is a s s , th e n d o v e in to a m u d p u d d le f o r a d r i n k . H a s t o b e b e t t e r t h a n w h a t ’s in C h i c a g o ’ s t a p s .

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

M A X I M


CARNAL KNOWLEDGE

Hottie

2013 Hometown H ottiesfinalist is h e re to a n s w e ra ll yourquestions. Is it w e ir d f o r m e n t o p o s t s e lf ie s ?

k is s in g a g u y w ith b ra c e s ,

A r e b e e p e r s s t il l a r o u n d ?

th e s o c k s -a n d -s a n d a ls

b u t I d o n ’t w a n t t o k i s s a

— Dam on B utler

c o m b o . I t ’s s o ta c k y .

— Frankie Alvarez

g u y w ith ja c k e d - u p te e th !

I d o u b t it. B u t if b e e p e r s

I d o n ’t t h i n k s o . J u s t d o n ’t p o s t s e lfie s fro m th e g y m . P u t th e p h o n e d o w n an d w o r k o u t.

g o in g to b e b y h ip s te rs

W h e r e s h o u ld y o u n e v e r t a k e a g ir l o n a f ir s t d a t e ?

tr y in g to lo o k o rig in a l.

— Ryan Dolan

d o m a k e a c o m e b a c k , i t ’s

H ow can I m ake m y m om s t o p p o s t in g d u m b s t u f f on Faceb ook?

A s tr ip c lu b . I t h o u g h t

I’ m in m y 2 0 s . Is it r id ic u ­ lo u s f o m e t o g e t b r a c e s ?

S c a re h e r by te llin g h e r

W h a t ’ s o n e t h in g g ir ls w is h g u y s w o u ld n ’ t w e a r ?

t h a t t h e N S A is w a t c h i n g ,

— W arren S co tt

c o u p le o f m y g irlfrie n d s

— Jesse Hughes

a n d th e y m ay revo ke her

W h e n I w a s l i v i n g in

a n d it w a s re a lly a w k w a r d

N o t a t a ll. I w o u l d n ’t m in d

s o c ia l n e tw o r k p riv ile g e s !

S e a t t l e , it w a s d e f i n i t e l y

fo r th e m .

— Brent Klein

Текст 8

it w e n t w i t h o u t s a y in g , b u t it h a s h a p p e n e d t o a


< се < (Л

п ф 7 < 5. о 2

* * * * * L* \v • 3JUM .' ' IЛI

- •'> iifcib *™ > i5 -

Vi

GOTO M A X I M .C O M FOR M ORE IM A G E S A N D V ID E O


Hot Sauce

Office Assistant

RESUME

She Drives Us C razy The road to falling in love w ith o u r o f f ic e c h a u ffe u r was a very s h o rt one indeed.

V NAME J u lia B IR T H D A Y J u l y 17 HOMETOW N P o r te la , B ra z il H ID D E N FACT “ I’ m a t r i p l e t ! ” G O -T O D R IN K “ I lik e w i n e a n d cham pagne. I d o n ’t lik e b e e r . ’

1 1 A .M . S tric t a b o u t th e n o -d ro o lin g o n - s e a t s r u le .

©

3 P .M . M o s t im p re s ­ s iv e p a r a lle l p a r ­ k i n g in h i s t o r y . 5 P .M . H o p e fu lly y o u r iib e r-d riv e r F red is n ’t w e a rin g th e sa m e o u tfit.

e

S h o u l d t h e M a x im I s ta ff be w o rrie d a b o u t p u ttin g o u r liv e s in y o u r h a n d s ?

C a n y o u d r i v e in h e e ls ?

H a , n o , y o u d o n ’t h a v e t o

I g e t w h e r e I’ m g o i n g .

^

I le a v e t h e m t o t h e s id e and g o b a re fo o t. T h e n I’ ll p u t m y h e e l s o n w h e n

d riv e a n y w h e re .

h a p p e n e d t o m e o n c e in a g e a n d d r iv in g m y d a d ’s

P e o p le d riv e m u c h s lo w e r

“ I’ m s o s o r r y ! ” a n d he

h e r e . In M a n h a t t a n t h e r e

w a s l i k e , “ I t ’s O K . ”

GLOVES

S o y o u a r e n ’t i n t i m i d a t e d a b o u t d r i v i n g in N e w Y o r k ?

AND

B ra z il, w h e n I w a s u n d e r ­

NYC

J e e p to th e b e a c h . I s a id ,

a r e p o l i c e a r o u n d , b u t in B ra z il n o b o d y re a lly c a re s w h a t y o u d o . I t ’s c ra z y .

D o n ’t t h i n k t h a t w o u l d ’ ve w o rk e d f o r us. W h a t’s th e

СГ Ш H H cr z

s e x ie s t ty p e o f car? W h a t do you th in k a b o u t b a c k s e a t d riv e rs tr y in g to g iv e y o u d i r e c t i o n s ?

s e x y c a r. I lik e f e e lin g m y

I d o n ’t lik e t h e m v e r y

h a i r f l o w in t h e w i n d .

I lo v e c o n v e r t ib le s . T h a t I n f i n i t i I d r o v e is a r e a l l y

L±J

m

m u c h . You w in d u p g e ttin g fr o n t , s o p le a s e le t m e

W h a t ’ s y o u r p o l i c y on h o o k i n g u p in a v e h ic le ?

d riv e . P e o p le c a n s in g

T h i n g s c a n h a p p e n in a

fo r m e in s te a d !

c a r. L e t ’s le a v e it a t t h a t .

c o n f u s e d . I ’ m t h e o n e in

i CL < CL О О ь 0 1 CL

Текст 9

О

M A X I M

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

R U G G I E R O . BEX

L u c k i l y n o t t o d a y ! It

M A K E U P , KRISTEN

c a n d riv e th e re , y o u c a n

AND

E v e r g e t p u lle d o v e r?

HAIR

S a o P a u lo , B r a z il. If y o u

BOTTOMS.

w o r r y . I g o t m y l i c e n s e in


H ot Sauce

Eat Your Way to Sex Can an a p h ro d is ia c cooking class teach u s t h e recipe fo r a fo r k in ’ good tim e? b y S T E P H A N I E

RADVAN

“ W h a ttim e d o e s

p r o v id in g f o o d w ill g e t

th e o rg y s ta r t? ” m y

u s lo v e . T a k e t h e p o t a t o .

b o y frie n d a s k e d

A c o u p le h u n d re d y e a rs

as I le ft fo r an a p h ro d is ia c

a g o , p o t a to e s w e re v ita l

c o o k i n g c l a s s in N . Y . C . A

to s u rv iv in g h a rs h w in te rs ,

s h o r t s u b w a y t r i p la te r,

so w h o e v e r had th e m o s t

t h a t jo k e t r a n s f o r m s in to

p o ta to e s had th e m o s t

an o m in o u s w a rn in g as

d a t e s . ” F a i r e n o u g h . I’ d b e

P m g r e e t e d b y t h e m a n in

ly in g if I s a id t h e r e w e r e n ’t

c h a r g e a t h is f r o n t d o o r .

s o m e b o o z y c o lle g e n ig h ts

“ W e lc o m e to S e x on

w h e n I m ig h t h a ve p u t o u t

th e T a b le ,” s a y s C h e f Fed w ith a h e a v y S w is s a c c e n t

f o r a b a s k e t o f frie s . F o o d s c i e n c e is a l s o

a s h e u s h e r s m e in t o h is

a f a c t o r in c a t e g o r i z i n g

a p a r t m e n t . “ W e ’ ll s o o n b e

a p h ro d is ia c s . W a te rm e lo n ,

m a k in g n o is e s a t th e d in ­

fo r e x a m p le , c o n ta in s an

n e r ta b le th a t w e ty p ic a lly

a m in o a c id c a lle d c itr u l-

re s e rv e f o r t h e p riv a c y o f

lin e t h a t c a n r e la x b lo o d

o u r o w n b e d r o o m s .” Y ik e s .

v e s s e ls a n d im p ro v e b lo o d

W ho know s w h a tth e s e

f l o w , m u c h in t h e w a y t h e

w ith t r u f f le fo a m a n d s e rv e d

E u r o p e a n s a re in to ?

a c t i v e i n g r e d i e n t in V i a g r a

a lo n g s id e to m a to e s , p o ta ­

a W h e n H a r r y M e t S a lly ...

d o e s . C e le ry h a s a n d ro -

to e s , a n d z u c c h in i. A n d fo r

m o m e n t , I d id g iv e m y s e lf

th e o th e r e ig h t a tte n d e e s

s t e r o n e , a h o r m o n e t h a t ’s

d e s s e rt, w h ite c h o c o la te

a p a to n th e b a c k fo rn o t

a re s ta rin g a t m e a s B a rry

n a t u r a l l y p r o d u c e d in

m o u s s e w ith c ila n tr o a n d

a c c id e n ta lly d u m p in g an

M a n ilo w c ro o n s fro m th e

m a le s t h a t s tim u la te s

ra s p b e rrie s . F o rs o m e o n e

e n tire c o n ta in e r o f s a lt o v e r

s te re o . I b e g in to w o n d e r

a r o u s a l in w o m e n .

w h o p rim a rily s u b s is ts on

th e v e g e ta b le s w h e n Fed

T hai ta k e o u t, th e s e a p h ro -

a s k e d m e if t h e r e a s o n o y s ­

Pm th e la s t t o a rriv e , a n d

e n d w i t h m e in a n i c e b a t h

th e q u e e n o f a p h ro d is ia c s

d is ia c -la d e n d is h e s w o u ld

te rs a re m y fa v o rite a p h r o ­

m is s in g a k id n e y .

fo r m e n ,” Fed says. “ T h e y

have to be p re tty p o te n t fo r

d i s i a c is b e c a u s e o f “ t h a t

a r e h i g h in p r o t e i n a n d l o w

m e to have th e e n e rg y to do

little d ro p o f s e a w a te r th a t

h a p p e n . In s te a d C h e f Fed

in f a t a n d a g r e a t s o u r c e

a n y th in g b e s id e s p a s s o u t

ru n s on y o u rc h in .”

s t a r t s w ith s o m e o rig in

o f z in c , w h ic h is c r u c ia l to

a fte r p re p a rin g th is ty p e o f

s to r ie s a b o u tth e re la tio n ­

th e p ro d u c tio n o f te s to s ­

d in n e ra t hom e.

s h ip b e tw e e n s e x a n d fo o d .

t e r o n e . ” I t ’s n o t l o s t o n m e

A p h ro d is ia c m y th s d a te

t h a t a ll t h e s e f o o d s a r e a ls o

FOOD EQUALS SEX

c l o t h e s o f f in a m a s s i v e

w a y b a c k to th e c o n s u m p ­

to u te d a s h e a lth y s n a c k s ,

A fte r tw o h o u rs o f c h o p ­

o rg y , e v e r y o n e lo o k e d

t i o n o f s p a r r o w b r a i n s in

s o it s e e m s f a ir t o s a y t h a t

p in g , m ix in g , a n d s e v e ra l

h a p p y . I’d b e t t h a t a t l e a s t

a n c ie n t G re e c e . A p h ro d ite ,

a d i e t r i c h in a p h r o d i s i a c s

m o re h e lp in g s o f a p h r o ­

h a lf th e c o u p le s w o u ld be

a f t e r a ll, w a s t h e g o d d e s s

m a y in c r e a s e y o u r life lo n g

d is ia c in te l fr o m Fed

g e ttin g d o w n to n ig h t.

o f lo v e a n d s e x u a lity , a n d

a b i l i t y t o g e t la id s im p ly

( m a n g o s m a k e w o m e n ’s

h e rto te m w a s a s p a rro w ,

b y k e e p in g y o u o u t o f a

o rg a s m s s tro n g e r; T ib e ta n

w a y s to p , s o m e th in g Fed

so e a tin g little b ir d s ’ b ra in s

W a lm a rt m o b ility s c o o te r.

m o n k s w e re o n ce fo rb id ­

s a id c o m e s b a c k t o m e:

E n o u g h ta lk — tim e to

d e n fro m e n te rin g th e m o n ­

“ P r o v i d i n g f o o d w ill g e t us

/ CHRIS

“ C h ic k p e a s a re a c tu a lly

E v e n t h o u g h I d i d n ’t h a v e

th e lib id o . R o m a n tic !

e a t . T o n i g h t ’s m e n u s e e m s

a s t e r y if t h e y ’d e a te n g a r lic

lo v e .” I p o p p e d in to t h e d e li

to c o n ta in a lm o s t h a lf th e

b e c a u s e o f its r e p u ta tio n

a n d b o u g h t m y b o y frie n d

SEXYSPUDS

1 0 7 a p h r o d i s ia c s o n h is lis t:

fo r s tir r in g u p p a s s io n s ),

a S n ic k e r s bar, w h ic h I c a n

PHOTOGRAPH

i f t h i s n i g h t is g o i n g t o

G et th in g s co o kin g w i t h a c la s s a t C h e fF e d N Y .com .

Fed p r e s e n ts an e q u a lly

g in g e r - in fu s e d k a le s a la d

w e d i g in . T h e f o o d is d e l i ­

n o w c o n fid e n tly re p o rt

p ra c tic a l b u t m o re a c c e s ­

w ith a g a r lic -o r a n g e c o n fit;

c io u s , b u t th e o n ly th in g

a ls o w o r k s a s an a p h ro d i-

s ib le a r g u m e n t. “ S u b c o n ­

s m o k y c h ic k e n s tu ffe d w ith

th a t g e ts s tu ffe d h e re

s ia c ( w h e n p a ire d w ith a

s c io u s ly , w e k n o w t h a t

b a con a nd to a s t, to p p e d

t o n i g h t is t h e c h i c k e n .

g r e a t p u s h - u p b ra ). •

HEADS

H a p p ily , t h a t d o e s n ’t

w a s t h o u g h t t o h e lp b o o s t

I lo o k e d a ro u n d t h e t a b le a n d , w h ile p e o p le w e r e n ’t t e a r i n g o n e a n o t h e r ’s

L a te r, a s I e x it m y s u b ­

Текст G O T O

M A X I M . C O M

FOR

M O R E

AP R I L

2014

MAXI M

9 1


p .4 : B o d y b u i l d e r ,

Hongqi Z hang/ A la m y ; B ib le , P ix lm a k e r/ iS to c k ; B ib le s p in e , Lee A v is o n /A la m y p .6 : S u r e T h i k , c o u r t e s y o f

S u r e T h i k / s u r e t h i k . c o m p .7 : M a x i m . c o m g irl, A d a m d o d d / iS to c k ; h a n d c u ffs , R T Im a g e s / A l a m y ; c h a in , A l e x S t a r / i S t o c k p .8 : T r u c k , i S t o c k ; c h a ir, i S t o c k ; p e r s o n f a lli n g , i S t o c k p.12: A d a m S c o t t , J a c k G r u -

Ьег/ U S A T o d a y S p o r t s ; C r is tia n o R o n a ld o , A F P / G e t t y I m a g e s ; N o v a k D j o k o v i c , C h in a F o to P r e s s /G e tty Im a g e s; K o ji U e h a r a , R i c k O s e n t o s k i /

U S A T oday S p o r t s ; L e B r o n J a m e s , S te v e M itc h e ll/U S A

T oday S p o r t s ; S e r e n a W i l ­ lia m s , N a t h a n D e n e t t e / T h e C a n a d ia n P r e s s /A s s o c ia te d P re ss; b o d y b u ild e r, H o n g q i Z h a n g /A la m y ; B ib le , P ix lm a k e r / i S t o c k ; B i b l e s p in e , L e e A v i s o n / A l a m y p .1 3 : C o n d o m , J o a n i m b k k / i S t o c k p .1 4 : H a s s e lh o f f , A F A r c h i v e / A l a m y ; J a c k s o n , P h o to s 12/A la m y ; P r e tty R e c k le s s a lb u m , R a z o r & T i e p.17: B e y o n c e , K e v in M a z u r / G e t t y I m a g e s p .1 8 : C o i n s , C a r o l y n F r a n k /

S h u tte r s to c k ; c u c k o o c lo c k ,

Z u m a P re s s In c ./A la m y p .8 4 :

H a m m o n d , I n d ia n a ; T o w e r o f

W a t e r h o c k e y , H e in z K l u e t -

a g e s ; Found P orn, c o u rte s y o f

c o u r t e s y o f F o rd ; p . 3 4 : P e a rl

London, M a ry L a n e /i2 3 R F

m e ie r /G e tty Im a g e s ; S e g w a y

M ic h a e l T r u i t t ; m o n k e y , J a c k i

H arbor; T o u c h s to n e P ic tu r e s /

p .7 3 : B r i d g e o f S i g h s , D e n n i s

p o lo , C h r i s J a c k s o n / G e t t y

S o ik is /H o tS p o t/L a n d o v ; A n ­

E v e re tt C o lle c tio n p .5 5 :

D e g n a n / C o r b i s p .7 4 : P e n ,

Im a g e s; m u lle t to s s , c o u r te s y

c h o rm a n г D V D , c o u r t e s y o f

C o n s tru c tio n pap er, P ure-

Im a g e S o u rc e /A la m y

o f F lo ra -B a m a ; c h e e s e ro ll­

P a r a m o u n t ; b u ll, J o n N a z c a /

S t o c k / A la m y p .5 6 : S m a s h e d

p .7 5 : B e l f a s t M a z e , E M P P L

in g , A n d y C l a r k / R e u t e r s ;

R e u t e r s p . 2 l : Im p r a c t ic a l

b e e r c a n , J iri H e ra /A la m y ;

PA W ire /A s s o c ia te d P ress;

g r e a s e d - p o l e c lim b , E d W r a y /

J o k e r s 1, J a m i e M c C a r t h y /

4 0 - o u n c e r , R o b in G r e e n e ;

L ib b y P ris o n , N Y C /A la m y

S tr in g e r /G e tty Im a g e s;

G e t t y I m a g e s ; Im p r a c t ic a l

m a t c h e s , L u c a t o / i S t o c k p .5 7 :

p .7 6 : C o u c h , B ill S y k e s / G e t t y

w ife -c a rry in g , A F P /S trin g e r /

J o k e r s 2, B o b b y B a n k / G e t t y

P l a y in g c a r d , T o m o g r a f /

Im a g e s ; b ra, M o rto n O ls e n /

G e t t y I m a g e s p .8 5 : B o s s a -

I m a g e s p .2 5 : R u b i o h e a d

iS to c k ; q u a rte r, B la c k re d /

G e tty Im a g e s; p a n tie s , N ic h o ­

b a ll, F r e e k d e J o n g / B o s s a -

sh o t, J o r d a n J o h n s o n /G e tty ;

iS to c k p .5 8 : B e e r s ta in , Z e e /

la s E v e l e i g h / G e t t y I m a g e s ;

b a ll S p o r t s S L ; S h r o v e t i d e

R u b io , D a v id S h e r m a n /

A l a m y ; d ic e , i S t o c k p . 5 9 :

c a m e ra , E g a l/iS to c k ; to n g u e ,

f o o t b a l l , M ic h a e l R e g a n /

G e t t y p .2 6 : M a r k D iv in e , R ic h

P a p e r h o le s , J i t a l i a i 7 / i S t o c k

K a r a m m ir i/iS to c k p .8 3 : B u z-

G e tty Im a g e s ; s n o w b a ll fig h t,

V e r n e t t i p .2 8 : 2 0 1 5 M u s t a n g ,

p .6 8 : G a rr y S h a n d lin g , Н В О /

k a s h i, M a jid S a e e d i / S t r i n g e r /

c o u rte s y o f S h o w a -S h in z a n

c o u r t e s y o f F o r d (2); G o n e

E v e r e t t C o l l e c t i o n p .7 2 : G u n ,

G e tty Im a g e s; c a r soccer,

Y u k ig a s s e n F e d e ra tio n

M A X IM (IS S N 1 0 9 2 -9 7 8 9 ) V o lu m e 18 , N u m b e r 3 is p u b lish e d Ю tim e s a n n u a lly by A lp h a M edia P u b lish in g , Inc., 415 M ad ison A venue, 3 rd Floor, N ew York, N Y 10017,Tel. 212-302-2626. • P e rio d ica ls p o s ta g e paid a t N ew York, NY, a nd a t a d d itio n a l m ailing o ffice s. P O S T M A S T E R : S e n d c h a n g e o f a d d re ss to : M axim , P.O. B o x 4 2 0 2 3 4 , Palm C o a s t, F L 3 2 1 4 2 -0 2 3 4 . O n e -y e a r s u b s c rip tio n ra te s: fo r U.S., $ 2 4 .9 7 ; fo r C a n a d a , $ 3 4 .9 7 ; fo r all o th e r c o u n trie s , $ 5 4 .9 7 in p re p a id U.S. fu n d s. C an a d ia n G S T R e g istra tio n # 1 4 0 4 6 7 8 4 6 , P u b lic a tio n s A g re e m e n t n u m b e r 4 0 0 3 1 5 9 0 . R eturn U n d e live ra b le C an a d ia n A d d re s s e s to P.O. B o x 5 0 3 , R P O W e s t B e a ve r C reek, R ich m o n d Hill, O N L 4 B 4 R 6 . W e s o m e tim e s m ake o u r s u b s c rib e r list a vailab le to c o m p a n ie s th a t sell g o o d s a nd se rvice s by m ail th a t w e believe w o u ld in te re s t o u r readers. If yo u w o u ld ra th e r n o t receive such m a ilin g s, p le a se se n d us a n o te w ith yo u r c u rre n t m ailin g label o r a d d re ss to : M axim C u s to m e r S e rvice , P.O. B o x 4 2 0 2 3 5 , Palm C o a s t, F L 3 21 4 2 -0 2 3 5 .

Текст 9

2

M A X I M

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

GO

TO

M A X I M . C O M

F O R

M O R E

/

T h e J o h n D illin g e r M u s e u m ,

O liv ia W i l d e , N B C / G e t t y I m ­

in 6 0 S e c o n d s , P h o t o s 1 2 / A l a m y ; N e e d fo r S p e e d ,

PHOTOGRAPH

F la g l l l u s t r a t i o n s / A l a m y p .1 9 :

C.J. W I L S O N

C o l o n e l / i S t o c k ; S w i s s f la g ,


ADVERTISEMENT

Rethink Deodorant

MAXIM

BUYER

PURE & SUMO LOUNGE - BEAN BAG CHAIRS Chill out and listen to music on one of Sumo Lounges epc beanbags' All products come with tree shipping and prices from just $149!’ Call Toll Free: 866.340.7866 SumoLounge.com

24

Hour Protection (Even After Strenuous Activity) H y p o a lle r g e n ic , g e n t le ,

&

n o n - s t a in in g

Three BOLD fragrances (or unscented)

IGF-1 PLUS DEER ANTLER VELVET The Original' Direct from the manufacturer Deemed too effective by professional sports Proven rapid recovery, muscle building, increased stamina and much more No other product comes close’ Use coupon code "max" when you order at www.nutronicslabs.com or call 1-800-683-3144 to order.

ALUMINUMCHLOtOHYMATI ALUMINUMBftCONKJM PAAA8CKS PHTMALATIS0* OYU

NO

INSANITY®

•« ft • • •

I

г

Push past your limits with 10 INSANITY DVDs that burn up to 1.000 calories per workout This is how you get a year s worth of results in just 60 days! Maxim readers get 5 FREE GIFTS when ordering through www.INSAN ITYM axim8.com For more info, call 1-800-858-3143

FOR STRENGTH & ENOURANCE Gnp Pro Trainer effectively increases fmgerhand-forearm strength Has a natural feel, is easy to use anytime/anywhere Eliminates the uneven workout of spnng exercisers & is more dynamic than grip bails 3 levels of difficulty 30ib. 40lb. or 501b of resistance. $7 95 or try all 3 for $19.95 866.574.GR IP GripProTrainer.com

THE T-SHIRTS OF REAL AMERICAN HEROES Join the dub and get a new T-shirt every month representing a different group of specialized units from the U.S. Military, local and federal law enforcement, and tire departments HeroTshirtClub.com

ц теоси Г

NITROCUT

Available at:

ultimate

FITNESS V

GUIDE

Shoppe

S & y trs After furdUM

r f.- V K w n in

]? a fc i/ s

d ru g sto re ■ -И Й. hw ifrl

..endother finereMersf

TRY NITROCUT SUPPLEMENT! ROCKABILIA.COM №th over 80.000 items to choose from. Rockahha com offers the largest selection of music merchandise you will find on the Web - period To request a tree 120-page catalog, visit our website or call 952.556.1121 Rockabilia.com

Start seeing results and stop wasting your time Use Now $15 OFF Coupon Code 'MAXIM" and 6 Months Supply will be only $184 99 Exclusively Sold on our website Free Shipping Bonus Download Free Fitness E Book. 888-666-7715 TRYNITROCUT.COM

Get a $2 off coupon at

www.rockdeodorant.com/mx 800-829-ROCK(7625) www.facebook.com/RockDeo


ADVERTISEMENT

MAXIM

BUYER

LEGAL HELP FOR DIVORCED DADS The leadmg authority on fathers nghts Attorney Jeflery M Levmg presents a definitive resource tor ALL divorced, separated and single dads' Visit. OadsRights.com 312-807-3990

ATHENA PHEROMONE10X™ ATTRACTS WOMEN Add Athena s unscented 1 0X 10 your fragrance and get more affection from women Scientifically proven. Created by co-discoverer of human pheromones 4 to 6 month supply $99 50 610-827-2200 (Dept MX) Athenalnstitute.com

BACK HAIR SOLVED ELEVATORS® SHOES Will make you look up to 3" taller Since 1939 Hidden height mcreaser Shoes look "normal". Over 100 styles Free color catalog Mention MAXI 3 for introductory discount From 534 95 up 800-343-3810 elevatorshoes.com

Hot gids hate back hair Shave your back hair with the award winning Rawrba’ Back Hair Shaver It s do-it-yourself, last. easy, painless and inexpensive Never wax again New models available Solve your problem today. 10% Off Code: HTH0TTIE2014 Ra20fba.com

COLSENKEANE In a sea of cookie cutter accessories. CdsenKeane leathersmiths handcraft head-turning bag&fcases you'll consider heirlooms Hand-stitched beefy aged hide meets artisanship GUARANTEED FOR LIFE. American made leather goods for the vintageminded in the digital age 704.750.9887 ColsenKeane.com

DIVE BAR T-SHIRTS Join the dub and receive a new Т-shut every month trom the best bars you've never heard of’ DrveBarShirtClub.com

WRECKING BALLS, BLACK ANTLER, AND RAW HGH MONEY CLAMP World's Only Money Clip That Really Works'* See the new Munich w/bottie opener and other styles at: moneydamp.com 877-216-3072 Use code Maximt0 tor 10% discount

Wrecking Balls ($19 95) is the leading natural product in boosting testosterone Black Antler (S39 99) gives you real Deer Antler Velvet (banned in pro sports) Raw HGH ($39 99) provides muscle development support 888.698.6603 (9am-5pm) YigorLabs.com

Customlnk O w ftfn T ehftrts O n ftM

COCKSOX® UNDERWEAR POWERBLOCK

CREATE AMAZING SHIRTS!

Space saving диск change dumbbells kettlebells and new barbetts 877.316.9852 powerblock.com

Make custom shirts tor your event or team with our tun & easy Design Lab Choose from name­ brand apparel and 40,000+ images or upload your own art. Always FREE Shipping & FREE design help 7 days a week 855-871-0314 custommk.com/maxim

Cocksox men's underwear and swimwear are the ultimate in male comfort These awesome undies support your anatomy for an enhanced profile and a sweet ride. Cocksox has something for every occasion, from boardroom to bedroom' Briefs, boxers thongs, sling shots, swimwear Buy online now with money-back guarantee www.cocksox.com


ADVERTISEMENT

MAXIM MARKET

To advertise, please contact Media People Inc. at 203.2787607 or maximamediapeople.com

ATHENA PHEROMVNESm

О

k f VlTBA

GET MORE AFFECTION from WOMEN

ria lk

Published Studies Prove Biologist's Formulas Wortt Developed by Dr. W in n itm l CuUer. к м И м ш г п т o f hum an p h cro m o n e s in 1986. U n scen tcd fra*jranrr additives. 10X lo r men: $99.SO. 10:13 lo r women: $98.50 lor 4-6 month supply.

LEVITRA"

Genuine Brand Medication Lowest Prices from USA Pharmacies USPS and FedEx next day shipping available FDA-approved Viagra, Cialis, Levitra and more Over 550,000 Customers served since 1998 HABIAMOSESPANOl

VlAMEDK

•CALL TOLL FREE-

иш a + «— ,

v Jack (CA) “ 10X WORKS. I am in the film business and FREE LIS SHIPPING so I am around a tot of attractive women A lot of them Scan OR with are touchy-feely, but even those who weren't nor­ Smart Phone * mally, became touchy-feely. Becky, for example, shocked me. She came up behind me and put her arms around me and said into my ear: “ What is it about уои?Г Since I started with the 10X, some women just get really more aggressive. Thank you."

8008917455

Sift • ИСУИ • PISCIKT

Not in stores. Call: 610-827-2200

V is it V i a m e d i c . c o m / M X M fo r s p e c ia l o ffe rs

Athena Institute. 1211 BraeMd Rd, Chester Spgs. PA 19425

MX

CIG RECHARGEABLE KIT F e a tu r e s : • (1 ) Rechargeable battery • (1 ) USB charger • (1 ) 18mg Nicotine Cartridge • Available in Menthol, Natural, and Sweet

• Each (18mg) cartridge is equivalent to 2 packs of cigarettes

0NLY$9 " ‘ 1-888-244-2790

m tfttto d code f CSA4

www.CigarsIntl.com /ECSA4 You m u s t e n te r c o m p le te web address fo r sp e cia l o ffe r Ar Одагг tm m aoonat we onty w f счг p ro d u cfi to e d U ti woo m eet V » to ? » agm rw qufafnani to purchaam tobacco productв IT you arm not Ы toe leper aga to p u t& ta m tobacco products p b a m d o n o t

^

f n t f f OU» 1

Choose M enthol, N a tu ra l, or S w eet Раутш

Cede ECSA4 Ite m # EPCA02

Harm

GeyIftmfDp_______________________________

Daytme Phone | Emarf

q Check

с Vfcj

0 fttc o w

с A n ti

) _______________ . ____

SiMfcre __________________________ EM Ore

• F enm y^en» Resdenei eed $% le * - я и ш ш » Ы апу r iM i on orders outtade Ы PA » toe

CIGARS INTERNATIONAL 1111 Spd mafi D five.

^ ir

r w

- r WM aidr,T_nrnj Ci -л -^4 ^-» - — r jn О П fX H m

PA 1101$

w

e t

--— J., a— »«l* p rw

y

p H

tw

M

*

1^т\4(аУ1A* OOfb .>■л •* ' %

*€)9S

value

Add 3 REFILL CARTRIDGES

rmspcnobdiy c/P»puTWeeev

^

С м

с MC

• l4* #*epng rd hmdtog • One percustomerptoaee —

f

г

M # WWW

__________________________________

* * * « » _________________________________________________________________

И

lO ( S w n k n N r r h . t i g r a M r N it p w r h a w

|S w e i* f f v s r n c f * . N . if u M l S m o o th . 4 n d

Menthol Htooiol t . n h to

7

c a fh H lg r

p a th s

о ! с

»w e q u a l r-ttrw


Maxim Classics

/_

_

_ _ ^ _

February 2010

V

/

/ E ito M acphar^ on d m end | d* to R m ta ro b t. B ria n , fO p p o vt* ; O to H * Chorts.1

h c U k « (Previous pnga) И » , c a m . OKNY and V icto ria'» Sacral |

Amanda Bynes A YEARS

у

f

i

I t ’s h a rd t o b e lie v e t h e w i g - w e a r i n g , b o n g - s m a s h i n g h o t m e s s t h a t is A m a n d a B y n e s w a s o n c e d u b b e d A m e r i c a ’s s w e e t h e a r t . B u t b a c k in F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 0 , t h a t ’s e x a c t l y w h a t we n a m e d t h e f o r m e r t w e e n q u e e n , f r e s h o f f h e r role a s a c h u r c h - o b s e s s e d m e a n girl in t h e d a r k l y h i l a r i o u s E a s y A . N o w t h a t s h e ’s o u t o f r e h a b a n d s e e m s t o be g e t t i n g h e r s e l f b a c k on t r a c k , w e ’re p u llin g f o r he r t o g e t it t o g e t h e r a n d g e t in f r o n t o f o u r c a m e r a s a g a in . In o t h e r w o r d s . . . w e ’ re still c r u s h i n g on yo u , A m a n d a !

OF MAXI M

i ¥

Г

Текст 9

6

M A X I M

A P R I L

2 0 1 4

G O T O M A X I M . C O M

F O R

M O R E


DANIEL STEIGER Luxury Timepieces For Over 20 Years

3D0

4

> / 30 DAY MONEY BACK GUARANTEE

.

; s e * 'S s T

i g o T Âť '

5 YEAR UNLIMITED U O V f M f NT WARRANTY

EXTREMELY L IM IT E D O F F E R

THIS IS WHAT YOU CALL A REAL $99 DEAL! LIST PRICE: S749 NOW ONLY S99 + S&P

(YOU

save

$650)

Functionality and precision are foremost m our minds when designing any new watch The secret to a true classic is to incorporate an appealing design into the design process Ou- D rivem aster watch combines the best premium grade materials with incredible functionality in an am a/ing design A precision q u a rt/ movement features date, stopwatch and 24 hour subdials while an inner be /e l provides a useful timing function for divers Fully adjustable bracelet with double security buckle Available in original steel or gold fused versions It is now available at tne astonishingly low price of $99 - a saving of $650 on the retail price of $749 So how can we make an offer like this? The answer is beautifully simple We have no middleman

pay. No retail overheads to pay and not the usual mark-up to make, which on luxury items (including watches) can be enormous. We just make beautiful watches beautifully simple to buy. to

Complex Precision Chronograph 316L premium grade stainless steel Gold Plated 3 handed movement 24 hour, date and chronograph Magnificent presentation case included

CALL TOLL FREE 24/7 ON

Water-Resistant To 5 ATMS (169ft) Date Window Face: 3.2cm/ 1.65in Butterfly Clasp Depth: 0 43in Mineral Glass

1 877 550 9876

Also Available In Steel

Quote Code MAX143DRI or go to www.timepiecesusa.com/mj 143 Timepieces International Inc. 3580 NW 56th Street. Fort Lauderdale. Florida. 33309


V E N T E D W I TH S W E A T - A C T I V A T E D COOLING The v e n te d design of the Airgill Chill Zero fishing shirt provides maxim um airflow around your back and torso. The O m n i- F r e e z e Z E R O rings react with your sweat to lo w e r the t e m p e r a t u r e of the fabric for u ltim a te cooling. C o lu m b ia .c o m /P F G

Columbia Trying stuff since 1938


Maxim 04.2014