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ROOKIE

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Knowledge and experience is imparted to only the most promising warriors from generation to generation. Whether it is buffalo hunting, spear throwing or fashioning a totally balling feather headdress, we learn most from the ones that came before us. Whilst I struggle to pull off the feather thing, I am no longer a rookie. Do not doubt me when I say that an ALS Client File can be written the night before. Now that my fresher 5 isn’t budging, I’m a fully-fledged Bondie. Whilst I am still adding to my headdress, I can probably afford to give away a few feathers to help you freshers survive your first semester unscathed. We’ve debunked 10 myths to save you the pain and heartache that inevitably comes with this new battle. Listen up, young blood – we have much to teach.

I’ll eat 3 meals a day at the Bra $1800 later and week 13 is looking bleak when you have to negotiate all-nighters and hunger pains. Save yourself now.

scending into a love story I’ll do what I want, when fit for a Gossip Girl finale, I want and no one will the friend zone may well know. eat you alive. It is commonly said that university is a time in your I’ll sit in the bottom sec- life that you find yourself. tion of the library to Thus far, university is the “study” time in my life where I find Heading to the library to get things about myself I didn’t some real work done? Good know happened. Rememluck, little ones. 4 hours lat- ber, there are eyes everyer and your title page still where. Secrets don’t exist looks like some 300 words here. of copied lecture notes. I’ll drink within my limits I’ll get a job! The overpowering force of Nah, you really won’t. goon and lemonade has got the better of me more times than I’d like to admit. It took a few too many I’ll be at all my lectures cheeky voms for me to figNow you’re really, really ly- ure out just how much of a ing to yourself. lightweight I really am. Loss of dignity aside, the bigger mistake was thinking that I’ll do a law degree “be- I’d get any work done the cause it’s good to have” next day. “I’m a law student” has a nice ring to it, but learning by Aasha Purling legal citations has no wider purpose in your life like, at all.

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I won’t be the one that gets fat I call the highest level of BS humanly possible. Don’t let that sparse arrangement of salad greens fool you into thinking you’re not going down too.

I need the Public Speaking textbook I know you had good intentions, but never has there been such a gross injustice as the overpricing of a useless tool of torture. Save your $100 for a nice toga or something. I’ll find true love Hollywood will really screw you over on this one. Instead of Bra dates and sneaky sleepovers tran-

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Scope Magazine Issue 9  

Semester 141 - Week 2

Scope Magazine Issue 9  

Semester 141 - Week 2

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