wo weeks are down already. For some the fresher 15 are already creeping out; for me it’s already at the fresher 8. It’s been a hectic fortnight and a lot has happened, but don’t worry much more is coming up.
sa elections are kicking off tomorrow. For the veterans of Bond, you know the candidates; get around it and vote. For freshers, break the trend and read the policies and please make an informed vote.
o celebrate this week of politics the HSA (soon to be SDSA) is throwing Whitehouse. It should be a wild night of classy fun. Find white cocktail somewhere (or a polycotton white suit on ebay) and have a great night.
ASIC is back with Member’s Night: a night of frivolity, banter and excess. If you’re not a member shame on you. Just sign up, only your liver will hate you.
’d like to welcome Aasha and David onto my team. I’m excited for what they have to offer, and for the future developments.
f you wish to write for Scope. Send your idea to email@example.com. I look forward to hearing from many of you soon.
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Bondies, Welcome back for semester 141! The breaks seem to be getting shorter and the student body appears to be getting younger, but as always it’s great to have everyone back on the Gold Coast for another incredible semester. I hope you have all had a wonderful break and a brilliant start to this year. For our newer students, the Bond University Student Association (BUSA) is here to support your student experience in recreation, sport, education and administration. We host a variety of events and facilitate our student clubs and societies. At last count, we had over 90 student-led associations, clubs and societies For our postgraduate students, we have our annual postgraduate week-long celebration of student life coming up in two weeks’ time. The week is shaping up to be highly memorable with a golfing tournament, 80s party at Don’s, dinner at the Lake and the renowned Black & White party at the Hilton to end the week. Most events are open to both undergraduate and postgraduate students, so make sure you stay posted at www.facebook.com/ overgrads for details and ticket sales. Whether it’s your first semester or your last, I hope you enjoy everything that the January semester at Bond has to offer. You can email me anytime at firstname.lastname@example.org, and the BUSA committee would love to help with any queries – just send us an email with general enquiries at busa@ bond.edu.au, give us a call on 5595 4009 from 9am-4pm on weekdays, or drop into our office.
Mel x scope | 3
IF I WERE A FRESHER
SMALLER IS BETTER
PUBLICATIONS DIRECTOR JAMES JEFFREE COMMUNICATIONS DIRECTOR BRIDIE O’SULLIVAN CHIEF OF STAFF AASHA PURLING CHIEF EDITOR DAVID SIMMONS CHIEF PHOTOGRAPHER BEN THANGKAM
CONTRIBUTORS: ANTONY SCHOLEFIELD CINDY KOVAC GIDI PTASZNIK JACK BLACKBURN NICK MCLEAN MISS BOND PENELOPE MEEVES
The views expressed in Scope are not necassarily the views of BUSA or the editorial sub-committee. © Bond University Student Association 2014
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Knowledge and experience is imparted to only the most promising warriors from generation to generation. Whether it is buffalo hunting, spear throwing or fashioning a totally balling feather headdress, we learn most from the ones that came before us. Whilst I struggle to pull off the feather thing, I am no longer a rookie. Do not doubt me when I say that an ALS Client File can be written the night before. Now that my fresher 5 isn’t budging, I’m a fully-fledged Bondie. Whilst I am still adding to my headdress, I can probably afford to give away a few feathers to help you freshers survive your first semester unscathed. We’ve debunked 10 myths to save you the pain and heartache that inevitably comes with this new battle. Listen up, young blood – we have much to teach.
I’ll eat 3 meals a day at the Bra $1800 later and week 13 is looking bleak when you have to negotiate all-nighters and hunger pains. Save yourself now.
scending into a love story I’ll do what I want, when fit for a Gossip Girl finale, I want and no one will the friend zone may well know. eat you alive. It is commonly said that university is a time in your I’ll sit in the bottom sec- life that you find yourself. tion of the library to Thus far, university is the “study” time in my life where I find Heading to the library to get things about myself I didn’t some real work done? Good know happened. Rememluck, little ones. 4 hours lat- ber, there are eyes everyer and your title page still where. Secrets don’t exist looks like some 300 words here. of copied lecture notes. I’ll drink within my limits I’ll get a job! The overpowering force of Nah, you really won’t. goon and lemonade has got the better of me more times than I’d like to admit. It took a few too many I’ll be at all my lectures cheeky voms for me to figNow you’re really, really ly- ure out just how much of a ing to yourself. lightweight I really am. Loss of dignity aside, the bigger mistake was thinking that I’ll do a law degree “be- I’d get any work done the cause it’s good to have” next day. “I’m a law student” has a nice ring to it, but learning by Aasha Purling legal citations has no wider purpose in your life like, at all.
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I won’t be the one that gets fat I call the highest level of BS humanly possible. Don’t let that sparse arrangement of salad greens fool you into thinking you’re not going down too.
I need the Public Speaking textbook I know you had good intentions, but never has there been such a gross injustice as the overpricing of a useless tool of torture. Save your $100 for a nice toga or something. I’ll find true love Hollywood will really screw you over on this one. Instead of Bra dates and sneaky sleepovers tran-
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by Cindy Kovac
-week: the holy grail of the Bond social calendar. Jan semester, in particular, is never short of a scandal or a good time. As a returning student of the May intake, I was excited to experience it for my first time, and can I just say - the reality certainly lived up to the hype. The week came and went a little too quickly, so here’s a little snapshot to jog your memory (just in case it’s a little dusty).
Nothing says inebriation like youths scantily clad in calico. Add some Fruity Lexia and it’s a recipe for disaster. If you haven’t caught on yet, 141’s Opening Ceremony ie, the ‘Toga Party’ delivered a good time for all - from what I can remember, which isn’t much.
With that amount of cheap, tight neon, you’d be forgiven for mistaking tight and bright for a Supré shopfront or a teenybopper blue light disco. Is there a shortage of lycra or are we just leaving our dignity at the door now?
The newly introduced ‘Sunday Sesh’ ended up being bigger than Gaz’s parsnip, with everyone getting absolutely “mortal”. I’d say this one’s here to stay.
ll in all, these past two weeks have broken my bank account, weakened my liver and bore witness to my lifetime’s share of vom sessions but a part of me wishes we could just live it on repeat. The January semester has lived up to its reputation and kicked off with a bang, but I think it’s time to slow down before things get dangerous. Very, very dangerous. 6 | scope
TIGHT N BRIGHT
Always a good time, Illegally Bond didn’t disappoint either; with $80 and 20 wet pussy shots down, the dance floor became as slippery as our moral compass. With eyes increasingly dazed, we had more people on the floor rather than on the dance floor. A quick shout-out to our very own LSA’s social director for an awesome job on this one, who was also rumored to have woken up surrounded by some anonymous vomit.
IF I WERE A FRESHER AGAIN BY JACK BLACKBURN 17. Wear a toga to Tight and Bright 18. ‘Matrix’ a study abroad student 19. Receive noise complaints from having a ‘friend’ over after Dons 20. Embrace nudie runs 21. Avoid the Fresher 15 (…its inevitable) 22. Throw a party in your room 23. Snapchat your walk of shame 24. Join a club/society Welcome Bondies to Semester 141. To the new students - welcome to Bond. To the returning students I hope that you were inappropriately drunk at your family Christmas and didn’t mistake your cousin for your girlfriend (cough… Gidi Ptasznik… cough). There will be lots of information passed onto you in O Week, but none more integral to your degree than this. 1. Swim in the lake
25. Attend Bond’s Children Holiday Camp 26. Read Scope 27. Meet your lecturers in the first week. 28. Wear/make him wear condoms 29. Sneak into the Spa after lock up
2. Hook Up
30. Pull back to back all-nighters to finish your assignment
3. Get to LVT
31. Do the naked man (Edward Sinclair)
4. Become friends with Cameron the security guard
32. Hook up with an old Bondie, and whisper ‘I love you’ immediately after
5. Test your friendship with Cameron the security guard
33. Study Abroad
6. Don’t miss an event 7. Live in the Blocks 8. Turn your corridor into a cult 9. Head to Currumbin Rock Pools
34. Go Skydiving in Byron 35. Make a wizard stick on Australia Day
* Props to Andy Dennis’s121 scope article for the inspiration
10. Vomit before LVT starts 11. Go to Uni Games 12. Have a beer in the fountain 13. Perfect the Mangina 14. Spend a semester on Goon 15. Determine why Harrison Carr is nicknamed ‘Monster Truck’ 16. Never buy new textbooks
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Tom and Harry’s Other Brother The average male penis size when erect is 5-6 inches, yet every day I hear people bragging about how well-endowed their one-eyed trouser snake is. With so many people claiming a ‘third leg’, it makes sense that a percentage of the population has a less than average sized ‘johnson’, and this is where I find solace with the genetics that was passed down from generations of Ptasznik’s. Put in perspective, is bigger really better? Through my experience, the benefits of a small pecker far outweigh the perks of a giant anaconda. Computers, telephones, iPads you name it, technology is getting smaller and more compact. In 2013, we demand efficient, slim lined designs that do not take up excessive space. Genitalia is no different. I laugh when I hear Macklemore boast claiming that he walks into the club like “What up? I got a big cock!”… is he still living in the stone age? Don’t get me wrong, people still love the old Nokia brick phones, but please, wouldn’t you rather a slick, slim iPhone 4 with a 3.5 inch (diagonal) screen? Specifically for the guys: Have you ever just been minding your own business walking around campus and suddenly you are housing a no-reason-boner (NRB)? Even more embarrassing at Dons chatting up a lady and you cannot control the pants party? I don’t have to stress about it, plain and simple. I could take a Viagra and walk around in bike shorts for a few hours before I even received a sideways glance. When I’m older, I have no doubt that I will be pretty successful as a plastic surgeon, sculpting and manipulating the human body to perfection. People often tease and belittle middle age men who drive around in Ferrari’s, claiming that their habit’s reflect their need to compensate for their tallywacker. Well I can use this excuse to my advantage… hello sports cars. Worst comes to worst and I am not successful, I will find hours of pleasure pretending I have giant hands and giggling at their hilarity I guess if you’re trying to find a moral to this article, it’s to accept and embrace who you are. Truth is inclusive, not exclusive, and we will find liberation in revealing our true selves to the world. In the end, people will accept you for who you are. My friend Harrison has a massive wang and people have well and truly accepted that. With love Gidi Ptasznik 8 | scope
An apolitical Bond University student-based organisation seeking solutions to issues facing Australia through socially progressive ideas.
Join us for our Members Launch. Tuesday, Week 2 Undergraduate Lounge @ 5:30PM.
V For Vendetta and Pizza.
Watch this space.
ind us on Facebook Badge
C MYK / .ai
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Misogyny: a m BY PENELOPE MEEVES
The term ‘misogynist’ conjures the likes of Tony Abbott, Peter Slipper and a smorgasbord of political commentators. Yet, is the prevalence of this sexist slur evidence of a misunderstanding among feminist theorists and contemporary society? If there’s one thing we can be sure of, it’s that our ability to spell the word is in an inverse proportion to our willingness to use it in the public domain. Misogyny or the dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women has been used as political ammunition many a time in the past year.
This was evident during the lynch mob reaction to Alan Jones’ statement that Julia Gillard’s father had “died of shame.” His ‘chauvinism’ prompted a boycott by organisations such as Change.org who amassed a petition with 103, 000 supporters. Sponsors including Harvey Norman were pressured into pulling advertising from Jones’ radio station. Unsurprisingly, the organiser was revealed to be a Green’s supporter, exposing feminist rhetoric as having a deeper political agenda.
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Curiously, the term ‘racist’ is considered defamatory, whilst misogynist is not. Regardless, Tony Abbott was branded a sexist, homophobe, racist and liar by social media well and truly before he was sworn into office. Social media hubs provide the architecture for such fundamentalism, thanks to the communications revolution. This prefabricated contempt reveals an ignorance of the democratic process, as reflected in the Australian media.
Though admittedly, the extent of sexism regarding the size of Gillard’s bottom and her wardrobe choices was highly visceral and more often than not, obscene. Furthermore, Abbott did himself no favours through his retrograde attitude towards abortion as “the easy way out”. Yet Abbott’s chronic foot-inmouth syndrome hardly warrants his label as a misogynist.
The Macquarie Dictionary’s decision to broaden the definition of misogyny gives leeway to this type of labeling. Furthermore, by meddling with semantics, feminists are armed with the capacity to build on the misconception that
modern myth men are a patriarchal force, disinterested in constructive mutual relations with women. The feminist influence has seemingly spawned paranoia. Recently, Piers Akerman gave ABC children’s show ‘Peppa Pig’ a whack claiming, “Even the cartoon character Peppa Pig pushes a weird feminist line that would be closer to the hearts of Labor’s Handbag Hit Squad than the preschool audience it is aimed at.” Akerman, the good Samaritan, must have brooded for hours over this one. Finally, someone managed to join the dots, as noted by Sydney Morning Herald columnist, Annabel Crabb who pinpointed “Peppa’s ungirlish love of puddle-jumping [and] her casual insubordination to her father (“Oh dear. Daddy Pig is too fat to squeeze into the cubby house!”)” Unfortunately, Akerman’s mud-flinging doesn’t carry much punch in the pig pen.
Sexism is a serious problem but should not be trivialised through feminist jargon. When we look at the nitty-gritty, it has been over forty years since Prime Minister Gough Whitlam committed to legislating for gender equality in Australia. Yet, women still work less (MORE?), earn
less and retire with less. According to Anne Summers, author of the Misogyny factor, a 25 year old female post-graduate entering the workforce will earn $13 million less than her male counterpart. Abortion is still illegal in some states and the RU486 abortion pill is not readily available in all states. Domestic violence is still on the rise and cases remain largely unresolved. Yet women are becoming increasingly independent, with access to the pill and a service and information economy, which requires her skills.
Our real concern should be in the third world where, according to the charity ‘Plan International’, one in three girls do not receive an education and one in seven are married before the age of 15. The struggle of Malala Yousafzai serves as a litmus test for this ailing civil rights agenda. At only 14, the Pakistani girl was shot in the head by the Taliban for advocating in favour of education for women. On her 16th birthday, she addressed the UN, asserting that she would not relinquish her fight. Malala, I believe, stands at the helm of a more relevant modern feminist movement. scope | 11
Mark Schulz (Advisor/Post-Graduate
Media/Marketing: Chris Talia | Jennifer Horton
Events: Emily Tate | Rob Sheppard | Lizzi
Bondstock2 12 | scope
Admin: e Rep) | Ben Thangkam (Convener) | Francis Filler (Treasurer)
ie Halikos | Steph Smith
Sponsorship/Promotions: Bridie Oâ€™Sullivan | Charlie Ross | Jules Buntine
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Miss Bond Welcome to Semester 141 – it looks to be an action filled semester for all involved. Hello my dearest little people! Now little people I thought I’d start the semester off by introducing you to your leading body. When I say leading body I don’t mean the skirts billowing in the wind under the arch – rookie freshers – try and at least be a little chaste. I mean look how long my boss had to chase a naughty secretary before he finally got a hand up that skirt in lovely ol’ Vanity, or was she wearing shorts that night? Yeah, Publications is dangerous territory. It appears the Social Directors are settling down, who would have thought! After a host of late night dance floor kisses and even a fledging inter-BUSA romance, it appears our current Director is a settled man, and what a flower she is. So innocent and pure. Or was. But no fear it seems a fellow current BUSA member is making his Danish predecessor smile – has hell frozen over? With most of our wonderful student association representatives being in long-term relationships prior to their election, it’s only taken a semester for them to fall apart. With the rumor mill in overdrive, only time will tell whether there is anything behind the whispers, but one thing is for sure – it’ll cause a stir whatever happens. Place your bets ladies and gentlemen, just like everything Bond, there’s money involved in this one we hear.
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And the infamous sports pods – our fave Simo has now made it into two different pods on the committee. And the Peruvian came back for a little tango too. Let’s not even talk about the VP, the rumour mill has enough to say! This may very well be the semester of regret; my dearest editor (I’m sure he will destroy this) fell into the arms of an ex. I didn’t see anyone popping a bottle to celebrate though, some people just never learn. But what better way to start a semester than shirtless? Why don’t we ask our resident rugby boys! Full of creatine packed confidence, a little ego and a burning desire to impress, the only person on campus with more confidence is the cheerleader who refuses to wear clothes. He knows who he is. What is with all the Norwegians on campus? I’m certainly not complaining about the presence of these deliciously proportioned humans and word on the street is they have gotten involved in all aspects on campus life. That’s it from me, you be nice to each other.
How long will it be until Lorde gets forcefully adopted as an Australian?
You know you’re an early ‘00s kid if you got really massively excited for Fall Out Boy’s Save Rock and Roll.
If you thought STP frontman Scott Wieland had already maxed out his “Dickhead” statistic, you were wrong.
Sister-act Haim are one of the best new bands around - particularly for playing ‘Shag, Marry, Avoid’.
It must be time for another AC/DC album. I mean, it doesn’t take six years to write something like ‘Hard as a Rock’.
The Scoop Someone take James Blunt’s career out of the oven, it’s done.
Stray Thoughts for the New Year by Antony Scholefield
It’s 2014, which means Green Day’s American Idiot came out 10 years ago. Do you feel old yet?
Will Foster The People’s new album reference school massacres again?
It’s sad that Keith Richards now needs to wear that bandana all the time, because it’s the only thing holding his face together.
The award for most depressing chorus of 2013 goes to Queens of the Stone Age. “I know you’ll never believe” / “I play this as though I’m alright” / “If life is but a dream” / “Wake me up”.
‘Johnny B Goode’ is officially the most-covered song ever. Could ‘Get Lucky’ usurp it?
Only three things are infinite: the universe, human stupidity, and the ego of Strokes frontman Julian Casablancas
Will EDM finally crumble and die? Over the last few years, many under-the-radar bands have been resurrecting a Motley-Crüeglam-rock thing. Is the genre preparing a comeback?
‘Royals’ will probably top the Hottest 100...
Will Kanye’s follow up to Yeezus elevate him to some freakish post-God status?
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week two Photographer: Ben Thangkam
Events: Toga | Tight’n’Bright | Illegally Bond | LVT
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scope © BUSA 2014
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