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FESTIVAL OF THE ARTS

ISSUE 16.12

LABOR DAY WEEKEND • BACK TO SCHOOL

The eighth annual Lakeview East Festival of the Arts takes place Saturday, Sept. 8 and Sunday, Sept. 9 on Broadway, just north of Belmont. The Festival showcases more than 150 juried artists featuring world class original paintings, sculpture, photography, furniture, jewelry and more. In addition to the art on display, some of Chicago’s favorite musicians will perform throughout the weekend.

3700 N. Halsted St. #2-S Chicago, IL 60613

773.975.0264

boieditorial@aol.com • boiads@aol.com Publisher Mike Macharello Editor Rick Karlin Social Media Director Biggie Solis Layout & Design ________________________ Titanium Graphics

The Lakeview East Festival of the Arts hours are 10am to 6pm (Saturday) and 10am to 5pm (Sunday).

Advertising ____________________________

For more information call 773.348.8608

Oliver Aguilar Eamonn Sexton Steve Starr

Freddie Dave

freddie@boimagazine.com dave@boimagzine.com

Photographers _________________________

Cover: Dining Out For Life

Editorial Contributors ___________________ Harry Taint Anita Taylor

Gregg Shapiro Ace Magyar

VIEW BOI ONLINE AT www.boimagazine.com

BOI Magazine, Inc. © 2000−2012 All rights reserved

Gay student organizations glbt scholarship organizations labor day weekend events Miss continental boi’s best restaurants interview: judy tenuta in the know, on the go! ask ace bars and clubs directory

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BACK TO SCHOOL Gay Student Organizations Back in the day there weren’t any official support groups for gay kids in high school, and certainly no gaystraight students’ alliances. The closest we had was drama club. It would be unusual now to find a college campus without a GSA (gay student association or gay straight alliance). Many high schools, especially in urban or liberal communities, have similar groups. Many junior high and elementary schools are beginning to offer such programs as well. Much of the progress is due to the work of GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network) and organization of educators, parents, students and supporters who have worked to create the Safe Schools Alliance. GSA Network was founded by Carolyn Laub in 1998 to empower youth activists to start Gay-Straight Alliance clubs to fight homophobia and transphobia in schools. GSA Network began working with 40 GSA clubs in the San Francisco Bay Area during the 199899 school year. The organization quickly expanded and by 2001, GSA Network became a statewide organization. By 2005, GSA Network began operating programs nationally. The National Association of GSA Networks is a collaborative partnership of state and regional organizations that share best practices on supporting GSA clubs.

The National Association’s purpose is to support the growth of the GSA movement by connecting state and regional GSA networks to each other for information-sharing, networking, and peer exchange, including the annual National Gathering. Members of the National Association of GSA Networks can receive training and technical assistance from GSA Network. The Illinois Safe Schools Alliance works to create a world in which youth develop to their fullest potential, learning in safe and nurturing schools, living in communities that accept and honor differences, where everyone has the freedom to express their sexual orientation and gender identity. The Alliance is the result of the joining of forces between Creating Safe Schools for Illinois (CSSI-formerly GLSEN Chicago) and the Coalition for Education on Sexual Orientation (CESO). The two organizations have joined together to lead the GLBTQ safe schools movement in Illinois. Its model includes policy advocacy with school district administrators, training for school personnel, and technical assistance with young people on existing or emerging gay/straight alliances. While the list of schools in Chicago with GSA clubs doesn’t quite run the gamut from A to Z, it does include hundreds of middle and high schools, private, parochial and public, from the Air Force Academy High School in Chicago, to York Community High School in Elmhurst. For more information on these organizations, go to www.gsanetwork.org at www. illinoissafeschools.org. boi 


BACK TO SCHOOL GLBT Scholarship Organizations

Scholar & Alumni Leadership Conference, taking place once a year, There are a number of scholarships features all members of the Point available for GLBT students. Two of the organization gather together. Noted largest foundations in this area are The GLBT community members and straight Point Foundation and Pride Foundation. allies are also invited to participate on The Point Foundation’s scholarships panels or to deliver a keynote. are available to all students, Pride Foundation’s numerous scholarships Regional Leadership Forums (RLFs) are designated for those in the Pacific provide an additional opportunity to Northwest. However, the residency focus on leadership, mentoring and requirements are so broad that many community building on a smaller scale. qualify even if they haven’t lived in the The RLFs also focus on key components area for years. of the organization’s mission such as academic rigor, mentoring, leadership Point Foundation and community service. The Point Foundation empowers promising GLBTQ students to achieve Internships provide Point scholars their full academic and leadership with full-time career-related work potential, despite the obstacles often experience that connects their put before them, to make a significant academic preparation to their career impact on society. In addition to aspirations. The scope of the program providing the much-needed financial includes organizations in a variety of support for higher education, Point industries and not-for-profit sectors provides each one of its scholarship that are willing to offer paid internships recipients with the opportunity to that consist of meaningful, professional participate in the following programs. work assignments. Internships are fulltime, average ten weeks in duration and Mentoring Every year, Point Scholars provide Point scholars a competitive are matched with leaders across the wage based upon their level of professions who are committed to the experience and the requirements of the welfare of The Point Foundation and position. the greater GLBT community. These matches are intended to cultivate For more information go to www. strong professional relationships pointfoundation.org. between scholars and professionals located within the scholar’s academic Pride Foundation fields of interest. Pride Foundation awards scholarships to build leadership and promote Community Service Project (CSP) diversity in the gay, lesbian, bisexual, is community-based, partnershiptransgender, queer, and straight-ally orientated, intergenerational communities. Scholarships may be mentoring, leadership development, used for any post-secondary education and civic engagement that provide including nontraditional degrees, trade valuable learning experiences for Point or technical programs, community scholars. All Point scholars are required colleges, four-year public and private to complete a CSP every year of their universities, and accredited certificate funding term that will positively impact programs. Students are eligible to the GLBT community. receive more than one scholarship. 10 boi


LABOR DAY WEEKEND EVENTS By Rick Karlin

Spin holds its Shower contest I’ve always found it odd that we observe so you can start a day devoted to recognizing working the weekend off people by taking a day off work. Not squeaky clean. that I’m complaining, I’ll take a threeCircuit hosts the day weekend whenever I can. As the Urbano Labor Day party with DJ Anton unofficial end of summer, Labor Day and DJ Gucci Rox, frozen drink specials ends up being an excuse for partying and those oh-so sexy Urbano dancers. for three days. Here’s a list of some of If you’re looking for a chubby, head over the events slated for this weekend so to the Renaissance Chicago North that you can pace yourself. Shore Hotel for Convergence 2012, an international gathering of gay big Friday, August 31 men and their admirers. It is the largest Cocktail welcomes guest DJ Timmy event of its kind in the world for the Loop, go-go boys Chub and Chaser community. It goes on and cocktails. all weekend long and I’m certain that Steamworks kicks there’s some sort of buffet involved. things off with DJ Harry Cross. Saturday, September 1 The Baton hosts the Mr. Continental Cocktail welcomes DJ Teri Bristol, 2012 preliminaries, which concludes on those naughty go-go boys and opens Saturday, also at The Baton. a special VIP Champagne room where Parlour goes to the dogs with bottles of Veuve Cliquot are going for “Femms for Fido”. Your $15 suggested only $60, not much more than you’d donation not only helps provide care pay for it at Binny’s. for abandoned pups, it also includes Steamworks heats things up with DJ champagne for the first hour and live Jim Belanger. music all night long by Tonya Steele and SoFo Tap has an acoustic set by Girlband. DJ Marc “Moose” Club Krave gets all Moder cranking the Hollywood and Vine tunes at the bar’s on your ass with monthly D.I.L.F, “Just Like the Movies: party. If you like Katie Gaga’s Birthday men over 35, (I used Bash Show” starring to refer to them as Katie Gaga, Megan “daddies”, now I am Newbury, Rhonda one). Swanberg, Sativa Haze, Jackhammer holds Serina DeVine, Tina Roberts, Lindsey “No More Labor” Devereaux, and Cee-Cee LaRouge. Day: A Farewell to Randy Lancaste”. Costume attire is encouraged and After nine fun-filled years tending bar at there’ll be $10 domestic buckets, $16 Jackhammer, ol’ Randy has decided that import buckets and $1 off all vodka he is getting too old to be on his feet for cocktails. more that 20 minutes at a time. Join the 12 boi


regulars for a farewell party. Hydrate is home to the “Neverland” costume party with DJ Jalil Z and host Debbie Fox. With a laser show, new lights, and bolder special effects, 3D fireworks glasses, a photo booth and everyone in costume if you aren’t having fun you aren’t trying. Metro has “Hard Labor” featuring DJs Anton & Gucci Roxx spinning hiphop, house, reggae along with sexy Flavaworks porn star dancers and XXX DVD give-aways. The Chicago Fringe Festival takes place at Dream Theatre, 556 West 18th St. with “Put It In the Scrapbook”, an original one-person show about the life of vaudeville’s most famous female impersonator Julian Eltinge,

Madonnarama. What are they bringing in the third world kids who sew the frocks for her clothing line? Miss Continental 2012 preliminaries at The Vic Theatre. Those in the know look forward to this even more than the finale (tomorrow night), ‘cause everyone gets to perform and some of those numbers are train wrecks darling.

Monday, September 3

Roscoe’s features live band karaoke with the another-year-older Amy Armstrong. Sunday, September 2 El Mariachi is offering 50% off house Cocktail offers “Peep Show” go-go boys margaritas all starting at six, and über-DJ Freddie Bain day and $6 Queen at Smart Bar welcomes the one Amate Silver and only Frankie Knuckles, and if that’s margaritas. not enough Hamburger for you, there’s Mary’s peels also Michael off another Serafini and edition of Garrett David. Charity Steamworks HamBingo. helps you rise The Call is offering up free picnic fare, with Sticky cheap drinks and show-tunes until 9 Buns Sunday p.m. How nice is that? and DJ Jim Belanger. Miss Continental 2012 at The Vic Hydrate hosts “Confessional Sundays” Theatre this is the show where the girls with Miss Omicah and Miss Shanita pull out all the stops. RuPaul’s Drag Race Jobs. looks like junior high dance @mosphere celebrates compared to this. Broadway Diva/DJ David Byrne’s birthday with drag divas Miss Sassy Trade, Elysse Giovanni and very Rick Karlin is the editor of BOI Magazine, a contributor to special guest Cee Cee ChicagoPride.com, a novelist LaRouge. Cheap drink and playwright, and about two specials, $5 Rock Islands. days older than dirt. Berlin holds a special Labor Day edition of boi 13


MISS CONTINENTAL A Boy With A Dream (and a Boa)

out in their production numbers. Many contestants have had back up dancers, props and, in two memorable numbers, a 12-foot boa constrictors and a pair of panthers. Choreographers, lighting and set designers are called upon to create breathtaking showcases for the contestants.

What began as a hobby over some 30 years ago for Jim Flint has come to be considered the ultimate female impersonation pageantry system throughout the world. In the 32 years it has been presented, the event and its supporting Miss Continental From the first Pageant system winner in 1980, has grown into a then relatively a multi-million unknown Chili dollar industry Pepper, many of to rival the likes the winners have of Las Vegas been Chicagoans, most spectacular or have moved to revues. This year’s Chicago shortly event, held at the thereafter to Vic Theater on Sunday and Monday, perform at The Baton. Among some Sept 2 and 3 will be no exception. of the other winners whose names readers might recognize are Kelly Through the years, the competitors Lauren, Mimi Marks, Monica Munro haven’t hesitated to pull out all the and Candis Cayne, who portrayed stops, wearing gowns designed by the transgendered mistress some of the top fashion designers Carmelita on ABC’s “Dirty Sexy in the industry, such as Bob Mackie, Money”. Prada and Burberry. Nevertheless, points go out for creativity for those As you may have surmised, this is working on a smaller budget using not your run-of-the-mill drag show. thrift store finds and hand-made It is not unusual for the title-holders garments. Once contestant took a to make well into six figures after basic black sheath evening gown being crowned. For the performers, and covered it with thousands of it is not money spent on vanity, it is safety pins to create a one of a kind an investment. While the performers shot-stopper. might be serious about winning, they are also here to have fun. The It’s not all about dresses though. In weekend has an air of celebration the early days, a performer could from the audience members work the stage with little more than cheering on their favorites to the attitude and now, while attitude guest stars and celebrity judges. It’s certainly counts, these girls go all all in fun and serious business. 14 boi


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BOI’S BEST RESTAURANTS AMERICAN___________

Ann Sather 929 W. Belmont 773.348.2378.

5207 N Clark 773.271.6627 & 3411 N Broadway 773.305.0024. These bustling hot spots, serving traditional Swedish pancake house fare, are best known for hearty fare and delish cinnamon rolls.

The Bagel 3107 N. Broadway 773.477.0300

The quintessential Jewish style deli is the perfect spot for a corned beef or pastrami sandwich, some chicken soup, lox and bagels or a full dinner that tastes as if someone’s Jewish momma made it.

Chicago Diner 3411 N. Halsted 773.935.6696

This world famous vegetarian restaurant offers vegan and organic offerings. Organic beers, wine, and spirits are also available.

Clark Street Dog 3040 N. Clark 773.281-6690. Open until four in the morning and serving up all the deliciousness you can imagine after you leave the bar.

Crew 4804 N. Broadway 773.784.2739. More than just a sports bar, the menu includes a variety of hamburgers, sandwiches, salads & comfort food.

Golden Nugget Family Restaurants

2406 W. Diversey 773.252.8903. 1765 W. Lawrence 773.769.6700. A great option for after bar dining as they are all open 24-7, and have free parking. The large menu is sure to please, especially the classic breakfast and hearty dinners. Everything is housemade, known for fluffy buttermilk pancakes,

Halsted’s Bar & Grill 3441 N. Halsted

773.348.9696 This Boystown eatery serves up a wide array of tasty appetizers, burgers, sandwiches, and popular comfort food items at very reasonable prices in a fun and inviting atmosphere. Beers on tap are aplenty and the weekend brunch draws an attractive crowd.

Hamburger Mary’s 5400 N. Clark

773.784.6969. “Eat, Drink and be... MARY” at this fun and popular Andersonville restaurant which features a wide array of burgers and sandwiches, along with an interesting selection of tasty appetizers. Wash it all down with one of Mary’s home-brewed ales.

Horizon Café 3805 N. Broadway 773.883.1565.

This long-time popular Lakeview family restaurant serves up big portions of creative homestyle dishes as well as healthy fare (broth-based soups and whole wheat tortilla wraps) and at affordable prices. Breakfast served all day long. Delivery available.

IHOP 3760 N. Halsted 773.296.0048. More than a

pancake house, this 24-hour Boystown institution serves up affordably priced appetizers, sandwiches, and entrees that are sure to satisfy varying after-bar wants and needs.

Jury’s 4337 N. Lincoln 773.935.2255. Watch all the

poplular sports at this friendly neighborhood sports bar. Known for their killer burgers. They offer a late night menu along with daily specials and even brunch on Sundays.

Kit Kat Lounge 3700 N. Halsted 773.525.1111.

Providing the best of diva entertainment along with a full dinner menu, they offer ½-price cocktails and Buy 1 Get 1 Free Entree on Wednesdays.. On Monday nights get 50% off your entire bill.

Nookies Tree 3334 N. Halsted 773.248.9888 and Nookies Edgewater1100 W. Bryn Mawr 773.5164188. A regular haunt for the locals of Boystown (also Edgewater) and popular with hangover recoverees, the diner serves made-to-order omelets, pancakes, waffles and other brunch fare all day. And it’s open 24 hours on weekends.

Melrose 3233 N Broadway 773.327.2060. This

Lakeview institution has been catering to the after-bar crowds for decades, serving breakfast anytime along with typical diner fare. Open 24 hours

Philly’s Best 907 W. Belmont 773.525.7900.

Authentic Philly cheese steak sandwich. Their meat is brought directly from Philadelphia. Also, medium crust pizza, oven baked grinders & fresh salads.

Pie Hole Pizza 3477 N. Broadway 773.525.8888. Their “hole” is open Sunday-Thursday from 11ammidnight and Friday & Saturday until 3am. Grab it and go or have it delivered.. your pizza, that is!! Rainbow Pizza 3450 N. Halsted . Serving up pizza

by the slice. Open late nights Wed.-Sat. and cater to the hoards on Halsted looking for a quick bite to eat.

Stella’s Diner 3042 N. Broadway 773.472.9040.

Friendly staff serve up delicious diner fare, such as; fresh salads, a large selection of wraps, sandwiches, hearty entrees, pastas, and homemade desert

The Edge 2720 N. Clark St 773.929-7024. A bar and grill serving breakfast, steaks, seafood, ribs, with a full bar until 2am. Free parking lot and open 24hrs.

Wilde Bar & Restaurant 3130 N. Broadway

773.244.0404. This cozy upscale Irish pub offers a laid back and warm atmosphere and a wide ranging menu that is sure to please. Expect updated versions of pub favorites such as chicken pot pie, meatloaf, fish & chips, burgers and salads. boi 17


BOI’S BEST RESTAURANTS ASIAN__________________

MEDITERRANEAN____

Ba Le 5014 N. Broadway 773.561.4424. The

Andies 1467 W. Montrose 773.348.0654. 5253 N

original and still the best bahn mi sandwich in town. In addition to the traditional style, there are a number of vegetarian options. The bright clean dining area is inviting and the staff is eager to explain all your options.

Dragon Lady Lounge 3188 N. Elston

773.267.1970 Serving Korean-Latin fusion dishes from delicious fresh Bi Bim Bop and Kim Chi Veggie burgers, to delicious tofu tacos and beef Kim Chi burgers. ITALIAN_________________

Anna Maria Pasteria 4400 N. Clark

773.506.2662. Owned by sisters who hail from the Basilicata region of southern Italy, this neighborhood gem creates homemade modern and traditional Italian dishes that are authentic, delicious & inexpensive.

Angelina Ristorante 3561 N. Broadway

773.935.5933. Hosting the coolest and hippest Sunday brunch crowd in Lakeview, the menu includes Eggs Benedict, fritattas, Croque Monsieur and mufaletta sandwiches, almond-crusted stuffed French toast, and the free flow of Champagne mimosas. Brunch here is loud, raucous and FUN! Great for dinner, as well.

Club Lucky 1824 W. Wabansia Ave. 773.227.2300. Popular Bucktown/Wicker Pk. restaurant & unique cocktail lounge. Generous portions of traditional Italian specialties and daily specials. Outdoor patio.

Clark 773.784.8616. Specializing in Mediterranean and vegetarian cuisine, specialties of the house include steak kabobs, gyros, and poultry dishes such as Greek Chicken and Lebanese Style Chicken Kefta Kabob. And as befits the cuisine, desserts include a very tasty baklava. The Sunday buffet brunch is extravagant and reasonably priced.

Gyro-Mena 905 W. Belmont 773.935.2600.

Augments the Athenian Gyros by satisfying the American desire to pick our own toppings! True Athenian Gyros is a choice of all natural non-ground meat (pork or chicken) stacked and cooked on a rotisserie. MEXICAN/LATIN__________

Cesar’s 2924 N. Broadway 773.296.9097 and at

3166 N Clark 773.248.2835 This family-owned operation offers an enticing menu full of delicious Mexican recipes, popular house specialties, irresistible desserts, and their signature “Killer Margaritas.”

El Mariachi 3906 N. Broadway 773.549-2932

and at 3420 N. Broadway 773.549-7020. Quickly becoming one of the very best Mexican restaurants in the city, the focus is on using fresh, high-quality ingredients for its “south of the border” cuisine. Full bar featuring over 100 brands of tequila.

El Nuevo Mexicano 2914 N. Clark 773.528.2131.

Panino’s Pizzeria 3702 N. Broadway

Cozy dining room along with authentic Mexican cuisine makes this a great place for delicious dining. Open for lunch & dinner, great patio for summer outdoor dining. Delivery available too!

Piehole Pizza 3477 N. Broadway 773.525.8888. From their hole to yours. Traditional pizza served in untraditional ways. Delivering until late at night.

Las Mananitas 3523 N. Halsted St. 773.528.2109. Traditional & regional Mexican dishes along with freshly squeezed limes for margaritas. Nice place to eat, drink and window watch people on Halsted St. Has a full bar & plenty of hardy dishes to satisfy any appetite. Serving the community for over 28 years.

Mia Francesca 3311 N. Clark St. 773.281.3310.

Fiesta Mexicana 2423 N. Lincoln Ave 773.348.4144

773.472.6200. Panino’s has established itself as a Boystown favorite with its varied menu selections, including gyros and burgers, pasta entrees, and of course pizza. Delivery available.

Celebrating over 20 years in Lakeview. A zesty, earthy cuisine of Rome and the surrounding areas of Tuscany, Umbria and Lazio. Encourages the lively art of dining with a contemporary, casually sophisticated trattoria ambiance, simple, rustic cooking, friendly service and fair prices. Beautiful private outdoor patio and weekend brunch.

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(2nd Location) 4806 N. Broadway 773.769.4244. Traditional favorites along with great ambiance. Nice place to bring your family, friends or bring a date to. The Lincoln location has daily specials & live music. Is your target market is in our distribution area?? ADVERTISE YOUR RESTAURANT IN BOI MAGAZINE Call 773.975.0264 or email us at boiADS@aol.com


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Tenacity & Tenudity An Interview with Judy Tenuta By Gregg Shapiro Judy Tenuta is opening at The Laugh Factory starting Thursday, Sept. 6. Her opening night show is a benefit for Pride Films and Plays. We asked her for her opinions on some of the pressing matters of the day. Gregg Shapiro: Chicago is a place known for its strong women, including you, Suze Orman and Michelle Obama. Do you think there is something in the soil or the water that produces such people? Judy Tenuta: Oh! I definitely think so. Chicago is the city of the big shoulders and even bigger butts. You have to be able to fend for yourself. I’m also from Oak Park, which is the home of Frank Lloyd Wright and Ernest Hemingway, so I like to sit in uncomfortable chairs and shoot moose. GS: What does it mean to you to perform in Chicago, your home turf? JT: It means I’m going to gain five more pounds because everyone is going to be feeding me pizza. GS: Who would you say is the target audience for your new book “Full Frontal Tenudity”? JT: I would hope women and bottoms. I think women, bottoms and men should read it. Also, illiterate people because there are so many great photos. People who don’t know how to read, which is 20% of the country. You know I’m right. GS: What was the inspiration for writing it? JT: There are two things. First, my brother told me I eat like a stoner, even though I’m not one. By the way, anyone who has medical marijuana, good for you. And anyone who can go on stage and be lucid after getting high, good for them. [Laughs] I can’t do that. I’ll start talking about how nice the lights look. My brother said to write all my stoner snack recipes for the love slaves. Then I keep saying to my agent out here in LA, that nobody says what they mean. I had to give people translations of certain things. When you talk to somebody on the phone and they say “I’m under 40,” that means hurray for Photoshop. Or, “I love your work,” that means “I just saw your sex tape.” GS: I especially like the one you included in the book that says, “I can dance in these 8 inch 22 boi

heels, I’m a drag queen.” JT: No kidding! I don’t know any woman who can do that. I have a torn meniscus, so I have to warn all my Chicagoans that I’m going to be wearing my dykelet shoes. GS: Do you work any of the elements of the book into your standup? JT: Yes, I’m going to do a couple little readings from it, of course. GS: Comedian Roseanne Barr was recently the subject of a roast on Comedy Central. Have you ever taken part in a celebrity roast? JT: Oh, yes I did one of the best ones. Along with Bob Saget and a whole bunch of other people. We roasted Tom Arnold and James Cameron. GS: As an accordionist… JT: I’m not really an accordionist. I use it to punish people GS: But do you think accordions will ever get the respect that they deserve? JT: I don’t think it deserves respect. I think it is what it is; an annoying instrument that French people use when they’re drunk. GS: You recently played the bitchy beard Zinnea in “Going Down in La La Land”. JT: I loved it. It was so much fun. GS: Would you like to make more movies? JT: Oh my God, that’s all I’d love to do. I’d like to get all of Meryl Streep’s castoffs. I was supposed to be in “Out of Africa”. (Spoken with an accent) “I have a farm in A-fri-caaaaaa.” GS: Very good. It goes without saying that you are beloved by the GLBT community. JT: Oh, and I love them! GS: As an ordained minister, what can you tell me about performing same sex weddings? JT: I’m so excited about it. I believe that everyone should have the equal opportunity to be miserable. I want my gays and lesbians and transgenders and everybody to have that right. I perform the marriages and I give them a certificate of Judyism. I find it ironic that a place like Iowa allows gay marriage and not California. How weird is that?


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in the Know, on the Go Okay folks, we had so much info for you that we had to split it in two. For a list of Labor Day Weekend parties, take a look at our round-up on page 12. Once you’ve recovered from that, you’ll be ready for these upcoming events.

Genderfuck-It

Don’t miss this week’s Hydrag Revue (on Wednesday at Hydrate) hostess of the mostess by Tajma Hall, leads the cast of characters including Dida Ritz, Sorraya Dash, Mercedes Andrews, Kelly Lauren, Erica Andrews and special guests each week… All-American Genderf*ck Cabaret Mary’s Attic Plays with established gender stereotypes tomboy, slut, man-hating lesbian, player, bro, sensitive guy, gay best friend, none-of-the-above and stirs vigorously. This is the final week of performances… Michelle Visage! Saturday, Sept. 8, Spin. Need we say more? Yes, we must. “The RuPaul’s Drag Race” judge brings her reading eye to the girls of Spin’s “Dragzilla” drag contest. $5 in advance; $10 at the door; $25 VIP package includes hosted bar 10-11 and a meet and greet after the show… I didn’t know JoJo Baby could even read, much less write a book! Saturday, Sept. 8, Eyeporium Gallery celebrates the collaboration between the performance artists JoJo Baby and Sal -E and the photographer Bernard Colbert. With a launch for their new book, “Getting Into Face”. It is the result of a 5-year photo project documenting JoJo Baby and Sal-E as they prepared for their Monday night performances at the “Boom Boom Room” on a weekly basis. Oh, it’s a picture book. That explains it…”Bye Bye Benny: Queers, Beers & Tears” as Big Chicks says farewell to local personality Benny Stardust before he ventures out west. It’s your last chance to get some stink on ya. Expect queers, beers and lots of tears.

Comic Relief

Chicago will certainly retain its crown as the king of comedy with all that’s going on this month. Judy Tenuta opens Thursday, Sept. 6, at the Laugh Factory. Opening night is a benefit for Pride Films and Plays …Hal Sparks, the man I’d most want to turn, is at Mayne Stage beginning Thursday, Sept. 6, Mayne Stage I’ve been enamored ever since he hosted “Talk Soup” on E!, and was swept away by his portrayal of Michael Novotny on the Showtime series Queer As Folk…Tune in to Logo on Monday, Sept. 10 for “NewNowNext Vote with Wanda Sykes”. She’ll make two live-to-tape specials to premiere following the Republican and Democratic national conventions and election day eve.

Feeling Good While Doing Good

Of course you’re going to “Out in the Park” at Great America on Saturday, Sept. 8, The park will be open from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. for this private party and it’s a benefit for Test Positive Aware Network. Advance tickets are $35 and includes admission and free parking…Meshell Ndegeocello performs at “Garden of Eve” on Friday, Sept. 14 at the River East Art Center. Great food, a silent auction, and dancing, hosted by Ted Allen, host of Food Network’s “Chopped”. It’s a benefit to support women’s health and wellness services at Howard Brown Health Center… Who needs an excuse to cruise the bars with a handsome bunch of guys? Whether you need an excuse or not, you’ve got one with the “All-Stud Halsted Bar Crawl” on Saturday, Sept. 15. The event is a benefit for UCAN Chicago Foundation to in help to raise funds for its GLBTQ Host Home Program which helps to move homeless youth beyond life on the streets. In Cook County alone, there are nearly 2,000 youth on the streets, of which 20-40% self-identify as GLBTQ…. Chicago House’s “One Night Stand” on Saturday, Sept. 15 at Park West will be multi-sensory dance party wrapped around a live concert. Disco icon Linda Clifford will be performing live in a custom designed, immersive nightclub environment… Sofo is turning its “Dog day Afternoons” into A “Dog Days of Summer: Pets for Equality” party on Saturday, Sept. 8. Bring your dog to support marriage equality. The event includes a pet photographer and raffle prizes from local animal-friendly businesses. I’d bring my beloved pooch, but she’s a bigger bitch than I am.

Deadline Dash

If you haven’t experienced the wonder that is Ms. Richfield 1981, don’t miss your opportunity to catch her new show at Hydrate on Sept. 28 and 29. I can guaratee you your life will never be the same. And don’t wait to the last minute, her shows sell out fast... Cocktail celebrates the release of Madonna’s single “Turn Up the Radio” with a huge bash on Sept. 9 featuring a whole loota meg-mizes of the song by some of the tops in the biz... The 28th annual White Party will present a fashion show for the first time this year. So, in addition to hot men and a great party, you’ll see the works of dozens of the hottest designers from The Miami International University of Art and Design at the invite only event at this year’s White Party fundraiser at SOHO Studios. boi 25


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Ask Ace

Relationship & sex

Micro Penis

Is there any way to make your penis bigger? I’ve got about 3 inches soft, and only about 5 inches hard. I look at the guys in the magazines and I just feel so inadequate. I hesitate to go home with anyone.

bit more erect and firm, but that is due to having a temporary surge of blood flowing to your penis, due to either chemicals or stimulation.

MP

I get many letters and e-mails asking me the exact same question. You are not the only man who feels inadequate about the size of his penis. I’m sure you’ve heard the sayings such as, “It’s not the size of the ship, but the motion of the ocean.” I doubt they give you little comfort. I’m sorry to report that there are no methods to permanently increase the size of one’s penis. Most of the growth of a human’s penis happens between infancy and the age of five, and then again between about one year after the onset of puberty. After that, you have what nature, and genetics, gave you. Here’s the good news, your penis is considered within the normal range. A micro-penis is one that is less than three inches long when fully erect. Studies show that average size of an erect human penis is approximately 5.1–5.9 inches in length. These statistics are reliable as researchers actually measuring erect penises (I wonder if there are any job openings?). Studies that have relied on self-measurement reporting significant higher averages, but I’d go with the research verified average. If you’d like to see what your penis would look like a little bigger, you can use a penis pump that can temporarily add as much as 10% to the length and girth of your shaft. Any creams, lotions or salves that claim to increase penis size are making false claims. Just as when using Viagra, you may feel a

Many men underestimate the size of their own penis relative to that of others, and most, in fact, have average-sized penises, such as you. The men you see in magazines are there primarily because they have over-sized penises. It is part of the fantasy. When you meet many of these porn stars you discover that they are usually quite short, which makes their penises look bigger in comparison. I have seen porn star Jeff Stryker up close and believe me when I tell you, without the right lighting and make-up, most men in the bars on Halsted wouldn’t give him a second look. If all else fails, take heart in the fact that, when compared to other primates, including large primates such as the gorilla, the human penis is largest, both in absolute terms and in relative size to the rest of the body. boi 29


CHICAGO BARS & CLUBS Boystown / Lakeview

3160 3160 N.Clark G&L, LM,DS Berlin 954 W. Belmont G&L, D, 4 Bobby Love’s 3729 N. Halsted G&L Buck’s Saloon 3439 N. Halsted G Cell Block 3702 N. Halsted G, LF Charlie’s 3726 N. Broadway G, D, W Circuit 2.02 3641 N. Halsted G&L, D, 4 Cocktail 3359 N. Halsted G, GB Elixir Lounge 3452 N. Halsted G, 4 F. O’Mahony’s 3701 N. Broadway G&L, R Hydrate 3458 N. Halsted G, D, DS, 4 Kit Kat 3700 N. Halsted G&L, DS, R Little Jim’s 3501 N. Halsted G, V, 4 Lucky Horseshoe 3169 N. Halsted G, GB Manhandler 1948 N. Halsted G, W, 4 Minibar 3341 N. Halsted G, R North End 3733 N. Halsted G Roscoe’s 3356 N. Halsted G, D, V, DS Scarlet 3320 N. Halsted G Sidetrack 3349 N. Halsted G, V Smart Bar / Metro 3730 N. Clark MS, D, 4 Spin 800 W. Belmont G&L, V, 4 The Closet 3325 N. Broadway G&L, V, 4

773.327.5969 773.348.4975 773.525.1200 773.525.1125 773.665.8064 773.871.8887 773.325.2233 773.477.1420 773.477.1420 773.549.0226 773.975.9244 773.525.1111 773.871.6116 773.404.3169 773.871.3339 773.871.6227 773.477.7999 773.281.3355 773.348.1053 773.477.9189 773.549.4140 773.327.7711 773.477.8533

Chicago Northside CONTINUED

Crew 4804 N. Broadway G&L, V, R 773.784.2739 Davenport’s 1383 N. Milwaukee G&L, LM 773.278.1830 Debonair Social Club 1575 N. MilwaukeeAve. MS, D 773.227.7990 Fat Cat 4849 N. Broadway MS, R 773.506.3100 Green Dolphin 2200 N. Ashland G&L, D, LM, 4 773.395.0066 Green Mill 4802 N. Broadway MS, LM, 4 773.878.5552 In Fine Spirits 5420 N Clark MS, R 773.334.9463 Jackhammer 6406 N. Clark G, D, V, GB, LM, 4 773.743.5772 Joi de Vine 1744 W. Balmoral L, R 773.989.6846 Kinetic Playground 1113 W. LawrenceMS, D, LM, 4 773.769.5483 Marty’s 1511 W. Balmoral G&L 773.561.6425 Mary’s Attic 5400 N Clark G&L, D, V, R 773.784.6969 Parlour On Clark 6341 N. Clark 773.564.9274 Mary’s RecRoom 5402 N Clark G&L, D, V, R 773.784.6969 Scot’s 1829 W. Montrose G&L 773.528.3253 Scot’s 1829 W. Montrose G&L 773.528.3253 Sidecar Bar 6920 N. Glenwood 773.764.2826 T’s 5025 N. Clark G&L, R 773.784.6000 The Call 1547 W Bryn Mawr G&L, D, DS, V, LM 773.334.2525 The Glenwood 6962 N Glenwood G 773.764.7363 Touché 6412 N. Clark G, V, LF, 4 773.465.7400 Uptown Lounge 1136 W. Lawrence 773.878.1136

Chicago Downtown-Near north Chicago Southside

Baton Show Lounge 436 N. Clark DS 312.644.5269 Club 720 720 N. Wells MS, D, 4 312.787.8720 Crimson Lounge 333 N. Dearborn MS, D, R 312.923.2473 Downtown Bar & Lounge 440 N State G 312.464.1400 Dragon Lady Lounge 3188 N. Elston 773.267.1970 Excalibur/Vision 632 N. Dearborn MS, D, 4 312.266.1944 Funky Buddha 728 W. Grand Ave. MS, D 312.666.1695 House of Blues 329 N. Dearborn MS, LM, 4 312.923.2000 Krush/Prop House 1657 N. Elston G&L, D, 4 773.486.2390 Nikki 1543 N. Kingsbury St. MS, D, 4 312.857.5009 Second Story Bar 157 E. Ohio G, V 312.923.9536 Sound Bar 226 W. Ontario MS, D, 4 312.787-4480 Spy Bar 646 N. Franklin MS, D, 4 312.587.8779 Underground 56 W. Illinois MS, D, 4 312.644.7600 Vibe 1543 N. Kingsbury MS, D, 4 312.266.1900

Club Escape 1530 E. 75th G&L, D Escapades 6301 S. Harlem G&L, D, V, 4 Inn Exile 5758 W. 65th G&L, D, V Jeffrey Pub 7041 S. Jeffrey G&L, D, V, 4

Chicago Northside

Banana Video 4923 N. Clark G, BK Bijou Theater 1349 N. Wells G, GB, BK Man’s Country 5017 N. Clark G, GB, BH Steamworks 3246 N. Halsted G, BH, FC The Ram 35111/2 N. Halsted G, BK, D

The Anvil 1137 W. Granville G, V @mosphere 5355 N. Clark G&L, V, GB Big Chicks 5024 N. Sheridan G&L, D, R

773.973.0006 773.784.1100 773.728.5511

G------------------------------------------------------------------Gay Male L---------------------------------------------------------------------Lesbian G&L-------------------------------------------------Gay Male & Lesbian D-------------------------------------------------------------------Dancing V-----------------------------------------------------------------------Video GB-------------------------------------------------------------Go Go Boys DS--------------------------------------------------------------Drag Show R--------------------------------------------------------Restaurant, Food

30 boi

Chicago Suburbs

773.667.6454 773.229.0886 773.582.3510 773.363.8555

Hideaway 7301 W. Roosevelt Forest Park G, D, V, DS, GB Club Krave 13126 S. Western Blue Island G&L, D, V, DS, GB, 4 Hunters 1932 E. Higgins Elk Grove Village G, D, V, GB, 4 Mission 209 E. Chicago Downtown Elgin G&L, D, V Encompass 24215 Rush St. Lake Station, IN G&L, D, R, DS Velvet Rope 728 Lake St Oak Park G&L, D, V, R

Adult Entertainment

708.771.4459 708.597.8379 847.439.8840 847.488.0320 219.962.4640 708.358.8840

773.561.8322 312.943.5397 773.878.2069 773.929.6080 773.525.9528

4-------------------------------------------------------------Open til 4am MS--------------------------------------------------------Mostly Straight LF---------------------------------------------------------Leather / Fetish W-------------------------------------------------------------------Western LM--------------------------------------------------Live Music / Cabaret BH--------------------------------------------------------------Bath House BK----------------------------------Adult Book, Booth & Video Store FC-------------------------------------------------------------Fitness Club



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