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The Basic Bluff Why Cooks Get Passed Over for Promotions Restaurant Confidential

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Letter from the Publisher Dear Readers,

ON THE COVER So you think you have

it bad as a server? Our resident cartoonist tells us a story of what it’s like to be a food delivery driver and the nightmares he has to deal with! p8

FEATURE Why cooks are often passed over for promotion to management. p6

Spring is here in Knoxville. The dogwood trees are blooming and people are leaving their houses to go outside. This means you are about to get busier at work and make more money! It is a fact that spring brings new energy to romance, so you will notice that this issue has three articles about romance in the workplace. The first one, written in the first issue of BOH•FOH Knoxville, is called Restaurant Romance. We printed it again for your reading pleasure because it goes well with Restaurant Confidential (by our friend and reader Tuaron Walker) and Life of a Bartender (by Memphis reader Keith Scott). We hope you enjoy the risque’ nature of their writing styles! Sex sells right? Our friend and reader known only as FWR, has contributed to this publication since its inception with our cartoon BOH vs FOH. This issue he provided us with our cover art and incorporated BOHFOH the Clown into the cartoon! I personally would like to thank FWR for his contributions over the past two years. This issue he also shares a story of his day job as a food delivery driver. And we thought we had it bad as servers! In this issue there is an ad that you need to pay close attention to. BOH•FOH News and Promotions is sponsoring The Scarecrow Foundation. This worthwhile charity was started recently in Knoxville with one single mission; to end hunger in America. We, in the food and beverage industry, should want to

SNACKS Tasty bites on the restaurant

Go to or

scene. p18

be a part of something when it relates to the nourishment of the bodies of our fellow men. The Scarecrow Foundation doesn’t want to recreate the wheel, and it’s all about “Entertainment With A Purpose”. Check out the ad on page 19. Visit the Scarecrow website to find out how you can get involved. So get your patios ready and spruce up your dining rooms, bars and kitchens. Get ready for the onslaught of more guests in your restaurant and more money in the tip jar. We hope you enjoy this issue and if you take a little pleasure reading this publication, let us know what you think about it! Cheers!

Webb Sanderson, Publisher

Table of Contents Restaurant Romances Simmer, Sizzle and Sicken • p4 The Basic Bluff• p5 Why Cooks Get Passed Over For Promotion • p6 A Delivery Boy’s Trials and Tribulations • p8 Restaurant Confidential • p10 Life of a Bartender • p11 Who the Hell Do You Think You Are? • p14 Snacks • p18

BOH•FOH Jokes • p22 3 Have you got a story to tell? • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • email your story to:

Restaurant Romances Simmer, Sizzle, and Sicken by Webb Sanderson PUBLISHER Webb Sanderson WRITERS Webb Sanderson Jackie Cancro Joel Addis Tuaron Walker Keith Scott Wesley Turner Franco FWR EDITOR Kiki LeFleur DESIGN & LAYOUT Kevin Mackie SALES & MARKETING INTERNS Aaron Sanderson Clark Buckner

You’re eyeing the cook behind the line. You watch his every move. You marvel at his skillful handling of a steel blade, the confident way he presses pink fingertips to the seared skin of a chicken thigh to test its temperature— and its resistance. Chicks dig cooks. Bartenders blush at red-headed servers. The hostess has private reservations for the headwaiter. It’s true in every restaurant: servers, bartenders, and cooks have the hots for each other and romance is on the menu. Why are restaurants notorious as hookup hotbeds? What makes a restaurant romance work and what makes it bite? We polled our restaurant staff friends in the area to find out. In general, “who’s doing who” has always been a hot topic in the workplace. Everyone has an office romance story to tell. The mojito-inspired make-out session in the supply room during the Christmas party. The boss and his secretary entangled in endless hours of dictation. It happens. But it seems to me that restaurant workers are getting steamy more than most. Have you read a celebrity chef biography lately? Maybe it’s the college-aged kids, away from home for the first time. Maybe it’s the dim lighting, making the atmosphere dreamy and romantic. Maybe it’s the camaraderie that comes from sweating through a gut-wrenching rush, night after night. Maybe it’s the helping hand when you’re in the weeds. Whatever it is, bet your hot-buttered biscuits, romance and restaurants go together like bread and butter. Well, like rum-soaked bread and bourbon-infused butter anyway. As anyone who works in a place with a bar knows, drinking is a likely factor in the restaurant

romance equation. From salty saloons to juke joints, alcohol has stoked hearts and loosed lips from coast to coast throughout the ages. Why do you think they called it a speakeasy? [Well, okay, that was about politics and prohibition more than puckering up and kissing, but you see my point.] No matter what side of the bar you’re sitting on, wet your whistle and you might end up with more than a song. A restaurant relationship can be a recipe for success. Whether you’re front of house or behind the scenes, working in a restaurant is a stressful job. It takes a special breed of person to be a server, a cook, a bartender, and a manager. A screaming child, a dropped tray, burning the blue plate special—these nightly possibilities can fray nerves, ruin nights, and test relationships. The good news is that any couple that works through these tough times has a greater chance of surviving the curveballs that life outside of the restaurant can throw its way. But a restaurant relationship is not all good times. Before you jump in with both feet, take under advisement this nugget of well-done wisdom: Don’t shit where you eat. When a restaurant relationship goes sour, it really stinks. Imagine breaking up with the person who tossed your stuff onto the street in the rain, then having to work the same shift together the next day. Or worse, your server-girlfriend dumps your bartending butt for the hot new chef with a 10-inch knife and penchant for reducing tenderloin to tartare. There’s no five-second rule for picking a heart up off the floor. Sex is a sizzling subject in any workplace, from Hollywood to the hospitality industry. It keeps us turned on, tuned in, and turning tables.

PHOTOGRAPHY Webb Sanderson The content in these pages is produced for entertainment purposes only. This publication is meant to be distributed for free to restaurant industry personnel only— it is not intended for the general public. Questions and comments are welcome at © 2011 BOHFOH News and Promotions all rights reserved 4 Have you got a story to tell? • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • email your story to:

The Basic Bluff (Sometimes Called Feeding People Lines)

by Jackie Cancro Without totally insulting the intelligence of our patrons, we have all reached an instance in our server years (kind of like dog years) where it was necessary to bluff our table. Whether it’s to boost your sales for the evening or on a singular ticket, whether it’s to avoid a 10% bombshell from a disgruntled diner, or simply because you can’t remember where the restaurant’s signature dish got it’s name from; you’ve done it! By no means am I condoning this sort of bravado. But for the most part, our customers don’t want to hear the truth. The truth, which is often “I’m hung-over, so I forgot to ring in your lunch order,” “No, the soup is not literally ‘of the day’, we made it last week,” or “The tilapia is, yet again, the special this evening because we have to get rid of it. It’s going bad!” So,

in lieu of running off our consumers, sometimes we sugar coat the reality. As a server, part of our job is to up-sell our tables. “Would you like to add cheese to that?” “How about a salad to start?” “That tastes really good with jalapenos.” Not only is it good for business, but also it jacks up the cost of the bill and hopefully yields a bigger tip at the meal’s end. One of the best ways to be successful in the up-sell is to know your menu ... or at least sound like you do. For instance, when a customer asks, “Is the [insert menu item costing the most amount of money here] any good?” The truth, which is “Actually it tastes a lot like dried leather seasoned in kitty litter and topped with curdled milk,” doesn’t always go over well. Or, “Hey, what’s good?” Your honest answer is probably not legitimately, “Oh,

wow, everything is just SO good!” In serving, sometimes honesty is NOT the best policy. On occasion, it is 100% appropriate to highlight one of the top five most expensive menu items as the “Featured Dinner of the Evening” to get your sales up for the night. Every now and then an eye-popping, convincing head nod or hand to God is necessary to drive home the importance of purchasing not one, but BOTH enticing appetizers. Sometimes, you have to blame the kitchen for your own mis-ring to steer clear of a customer’s leery eyes later. And maybe karma will get you for it later, but occasionally offering the magical words “Chocolate Mountain” or “Raspberry Cheesecake” in front of a table with small children is alright

if it means you can close that table with a perfect ticket; apps, entrée, bar drinks and dessert (BOOM!). It’s nothing against the restaurant guests, or even the restaurant itself, but sometimes “service with a smile” includes a little extra fluff to keep everyone happy. Keep in mind, however, that the entire basis of the server-customer relationship is trust. They trust in us for prompt drink service and efficient and timely delivery of their meal, and we trust in them for a healthy 18-22% tip (fingers crossed). So, while it may be best

continued page 20

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Why Cooks Get Passed Over For Promotion by Joel Addis

Hard lessons learned about moving up in a corporate restaurant chain

lessens the ease with which you will ultimately be replaced should they promote you.

Most of us are taught that if you work hard and do a good job, good things will open up for you. Unfortunately, this is not so. A rigid supply-anddemand based formula is employed by the soul-sucking bean counters at corporate headquarters that dictates a cook’s range of pay. Each job class gets a certain amount within a particular geographic market. Proficiency in this job class may bring you a slight bump in pay, but only to a predetermined point. This

Manager at a GM’s recommendation. Both rarely spend much time in the kitchen, and you are usually too busy saving your kitchen manager’s ass by tidying up when they do. I can’t stress enough how important it is to get some good face time with the brass. Failure to interact with your superiors removes your ability to express interest in promotion and their ability to evaluate your quality as a potential manager.

YOU LACK INTERACTION YOU ARE TOO VALUABLE WITH UPPER MANAGEMENT: AT YOUR CURRENT Promotion to a salaried position STATION: usually comes from a District


Managers are expected to provide a pleasant, personable atmosphere while maintaining discipline. If you rarely leave the kitchen (as most cooks are ordered not to do), you are less likely to show your game face. There is a reason why politicians shake hands and kiss babies. Positive exposure. If you can’t be seen, you can’t be liked. You can’t receive endorsements from regulars, managers or others the DM respects if you’re always behind a swinging door (and several other FOH competitors).


And, I know, it’s not your fault! You work in extreme heat, and in close quarters with all manner of filth, blood, grease, and onions. I only mention onions because once sautéed it immediately makes you smell like a ripe armpit. It may sound petty and base, but when you consider how many more servers than cooks get promoted, the final decision may come down to just who smells better. It’s not that you’re unqualified. It may just be that a server has an easier time staying clean.


Although you are responsible for the safe guarding, preparing, and cooking of what constitutes about a third of the company’s expenses, the cash never touches your hand. Cooks have little or no opportunity to demonstrate proper cash handling. It is essential to establish that you know (or can at least be easily trained) the business side of a restaurant. How then, can you be trusted to understand budgets, P&L sheets, labor percentages, waste variances, etc., if you’ve never even revealed that you can count back change?


The culture of the line cook is the culture of the grunt. We pride ourselves in being antisocial, violent, hypersexual, vulgar miscreants. We’re grunt labor, cannon fodder, wage-slaves. We do the most for the least, and we rarely bitch. We’re not the only ones that share this view, but unfortunately, it is not accepted in the same positive light. For some, promoting a line cook is like hiring an outlaw biker to host a tea party. Even more unfortunate is the response by our fellow reprobates when we try to better ourselves. Too often cooks fail to change for fear of the look. It’s like that what-are-you-somekind-of-kiss-ass expression on the faces of your middle-school friends when you blurted out the correct answer in history class. Few cooks can muster the courage required to ask for promotion, let alone act like a manager. But, if you are truly serious about promotion, the transition from the bilge to the captain’s chair will require you to cut the bullshit, lose a few friends, and act like a professional.

The Author Of This Article Works In The Back Of The House. He Made $50.00! Tell Your Story!

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A Delivery Boy’s Trials and Tribulations by FWR

I deliver food. I have been for several years now. It pays decent and is helping me get through school. I can listen to my music and if the weather

is nice, then it’s an added bonus. Escaping the hectic restaurant for a while can be nice as well, especially if it’s a busy rush.

Sounds like a great job as far as food service goes, right? Well, for every positive thing I touched on, there are at least 10 more negative things. Think about the following the next time you order delivery, and tip the driver, even if it’s late, because we essentially risk our effing lives so you don’t have to! Driving is dangerous. That is a known fact, and people either don’t know how to drive or pretend that they’re Dale Earnhardt running you off the road. Driving around town all day greatly increases the chance of being in a car accident. Deliver at night? Better hope that dark apartment hallway really has a door at the end and not a crack head with a knife. I have had a few friends robbed delivering food. I was once sucker-punched through my open window in the face by some redneck wanna-be thug. It was pouring rain and I slid off the

road, almost hitting him. I got stuck in a ditch and this guy knocks on my window. I guess they had pulled over. With my seat belt still on, I rolled down my window and asked if he was okay and BAM! I saw stars like a cartoon character, but fortunately stayed conscious. By the time I shook it off they were long gone. I would’ve been down for a fair one had he asked me to get out of the car. Then there are the days where it might be flash-flooding, snowing, or just nasty out. Of course, we understand you don’t want to get out in that weather for lunch and the snack machine’s not enough. Almost EVERYBODY orders during bad weather. So give us a break if we’re sliding around snow, avoiding hydroplaning, swerving from head-on collisions, or being robbed or messed up. It’s a dangerous world, so give us a break if we’re a bit late delivering your lunch or dinner!

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Restaurant Confidential By Tuaron Walker

The server and guest relationship has always been one of the main reasons for success in the service industry. Whether you’re a bartender or server, consistently great guest interaction is what keeps the business going. I’ve been serving for 5 years now and I’ve had my share of memorable guests and regulars. What happens when that server/ guest relationship crosses the line? There have been many times that I find some of my guests attractive and I tend to end up flirting whether they’re with someone or not. It’s just natural. I guess we are in a position where it’s almost unnoticeable to some. One time I had a guest sitting alone that did pick up on my flirting. The guest looked awesome so I didn’t cover it up. Every time I went by, we’d catch eyes and smile. Now as a server/bartender, the last thing we want is to hook up with our guests, but the flirting part comes with the territory. I had never hooked up with a guest before, but this night was different. The guest stayed and had a beer with me until we headed to my place. The

next day the guest left and I have never seen that person again. I found out later that this person was married with 2 children! I felt terrible after that. The server/bartender relationship (or vice versa) is a bit different than that of the server/ guest. All of us, for the most part, go through the same challenges in dealing with guests that we find attractive, which makes working in the restaurant different than working in an office building or retail. The restaurant or bar is the place where people come to get peace of mind and enjoy themselves. We are there to carry out that experience for all customers. Working long hours, you tend to develop close relationships with your co-workers. Everyday you’re together and every night you end up drinking somewhere with one another. Even on days off we hang out with each other. Hooking up with co-workers is nothing new. I can say I’ve done my fare share of making out with them but is it wrong? Is it wrong if they’re in a relationship? It happens and you

can say “what happens in the restaurant stays in the restaurant.” I know that the restaurant is an exciting place to work and for some - their life is surrounded by the place. We are not bad people and I think that we do enjoy life more than anyone else. Who do you know that will spend half their bill money to go out and drink with everyone else? We do. Who would also allow people to stay at their house passed out on any given day? We would. And that’s where a lot of the stories come from. Whether it’s hooking up with a co-worker, or hanging out with a guest, there will always be a thin line between business and pleasure. I think of the quote “don’t s**t where you eat.” I know two co-workers that are happily married and met each other in the restaurant. It makes me wonder, “Is it true that you can find love in the workplace or can it hold us back from something special?”

“Celebrating 28 Years In The Knoxville Area” “Knoxville’s Only Full Line Chocolatier” 8078 KINGSTON PIKE 865-690-5454

1060 WORLD’S FAIR PARK DR. 865-522-2049

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Life of a Bartender by Keith Scott

You wake up to the horrific sound of your alarm clock. You hit the snooze, knocking over a beer from the night before. Your head is spinning and it hurts like you’ve been hit with something. You raise up to get your bearings. Why am I naked? And who is this lying in my bed? You soon realize that it is not your bed. “Who is the girl?” you ask yourself. You can figure that out later. You have to take a huge piss first. As you make a dash for the bathroom, you stumble sideways hitting the wall with your head. As you get back up, you put your hand in a used condom (hopefully from yourself!). Realizing that you are still drunk, you crawl the rest of the five feet to the bathroom. With one hand on your junk and one on the wall for support, you look around at the bathroom. This girl is filthier than you! The only time it had probably been cleaned was when she moved in. At this point you don’t even care. All you know is that you want to wash the stench of the night off. You hop in the shower. The hot water feels good. You wash with some soap that makes you smell like the perfume counter at the mall. Now that you somewhat have your bearings, you make it back to the bedroom and start to get dressed. This is not the first time you have found yourself in this situation you even have a routine. First, get dressed, check for wallet, keys, and money (because they aren’t always with the wallet). You have to check to see how much you have left of the money you made from the night before. “Damn!! I spent a hundred dollars!” You roll over onto the bed to find out who is laying there. In the sweetest voice possible you say, “Hey babe, I have to get to work”. Ah, “babe”, the international way to talk to a girl without knowing her name! As her head turns, you can hear a drum roll in your own head. It’s Ashley from work, the one that you have been trying to get with for a month. SCORE!! Even better, she looks at you with a smile and a “Hi”. You must have done well, but no time for that; you have to get to work. After talking

for a minute, she says that she has to open, too. Twenty minutes later you are both out the door. Where the hell is your car? Ashley said she drove because she was the least drunk of the two of you. Getting in her trashed Altima, you move bags from some midnight fast food joint and set your feet on fifty water bottles in the front floor board. Making it to work after a roller coaster car ride, you are starting to feel the sickness. You quickly break into the steps of opening, pulling bottles, cutting fruit, and drinking a gallon of water while hearing about how crazy you were last night at the bar. Your boys are asking, “You hit that last night?” After another gallon of water and five trips to the bathroom to piss, throw up, and wash your face, the restaurant opens. Upon greeting people, they are terrified by the zombie standing next to them. You know it will happen. You will forget a few things and maybe it will all be ok.

You continue to flirt with the new girl throughout the shift anyway. Six hours later, you are at the same bar having a beer with the new girl talking about the crappy tables you had

tonight. After a few shots of Rumple, you find yourself kissing the new girl. When she says to you, “Let’s get out of here”, the only thing on your mind is, “What the hell is this girl’s name?”

The shift goes as expected. You forget to ring in a salad or two and forgot the temp on a burger. Medium well sounds good (they won’t know the difference). After a few tables, you get back in the groove. After the lunch shift, you tell Ashley you are going home after this double and not drinking tonight. She agrees and says she’s not working tonight and is going home and getting some sleep. You tell her to call you later and go back inside for round two. The dinner shift goes even better, and you catch the new girl staring at you with a smile. She brushes your arm, and starts talking about last night. You ask yourself, “Was she at the bar?” She was, then, she must know about you and Ashley. Sure enough, she asks you if Ashley and you are a couple. You tell her that you two are not together, that you two were just drunk. That doesn’t seem to bother her. What about Ashley? You tried so long to hook up with her! You convince yourself that it is just innocent flirting and nothing will come out of it.

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Who The Hell Do You Think You Are? by Wesley Turner Franco

The comment 3: “You got anything good here?” No comment required for that.

You are better than me: O.k. I have no problem with that whatsoever. Jerk.

Food temperature: You order a well done something it will take a minimum of 15 minutes. Unless you are at a fast food. Your failure to understand that is dumb.

Pen stealers: Really?

Table etiquette: When I am talking specifically to a table (as my table behind me) for the love of all that is holy, do not tap me on the shoulder, “hurrumph, ma’am”, or “ms.” me. I know you are there. I’m not stupid. I am in the middle of dealing with your table twin of hell, give me a second please.

Dear Patrons of restaurants around the planet: You are the bread and butter of our existence. We appreciate and love you tremendously. I appreciate and love you tremendously. Without you ... well, we aren’t we. However, on that note: I must vent my spleen or my head will pop off and I will be the one we all talk about that shows up with an AK 47 going postal on everyone. It’s always the quiet one. I ain’t the quiet one, but I am full on susceptible to going postal. All it takes is a looonng weekend ... I truly do enjoy my job. I like people. Well, most of them. I have my bad days however, and I always do my best work when I am pissed off. So, in that vein, I have several good ideas (i.e. spleen venting ranting craziness), that I feel compelled to share with those willing to take the time to read and absorb. Grab yourself by the shorthairs because off we go:

This list is not sequential by importance ...

Complaining about the music being played: Really. Note your surroundings. Assess your age. Menu substitutions: Don’t get radical on a busy Friday night. Contemplate your choices based upon how long you want to wait for your food. If you are ordering a dozen wings and want 3 buffalo hot, 3 buffalo mild, 3 lemon peppers, 1 barbeque and 2 teriyaki, you deserve to die a horrible death. Do you not realize that the kitchen would literally punch me in the face if I asked them to do that? Temperature of interior: Unless there is a serious loss or rise of body temperature, deal with it. Messy leavers: Does your house look like this? The comment: “I’m in the industry.” Ugh. Who are you people? I fully expect to get screwed by that statement. I do not assume comradeship. The comment 2: “I would have tipped you more if you had not added gratuity.” My ass you would have. Water: You order it. You drink it. Don’t ask for a lemon unless you plan on using it.

Dumb: Do not think by taking all your credit card slips after your card has been swiped is getting you out of anything. It just means we don’t get a tip. Asshole. Cell phone and the ‘wait’ finger: I loathe you. I want to take your index finger and break it into several different pieces. Children in general: Do you let them behave like that always? Do people look at you and smile as you mind your children? Parties: If you walk into a restaurant with 10 or more and expect instant satisfaction with no prior notification on a weekend. Hmm. No. Parking: Why is it my fault as a server that your failure to pay to park resulted in a ticket? Don’t blame me that you can’t friggin see the pay to park signs every 10 feet. If there were anymore of these signs we would sink into the ocean. And no, we do not validate. Chasers: For the love of God, do not chase me across the restaurant. Have you no couth? Snappers: Die. Overly PDA: Please no. Honestly, what do you expect me to do with you?

Sprawlers: You have your seat and have managed to accommodate space for three other people. Not cool. Soft talkers: I have a lot of back ground noise going on around me. If you are going to whisper into your collar, well, good luck to you. If I screw up your order it’s because I couldn’t hear you and/or read your lips as you avoid eye contact. Whatever. If you are that shy, you might want to contact a therapist. I’m your server. I’m not going to hurt you. The Menu: Read it! We are not hiding anything from you. This is not a test. All your options are listed. Does it say we have pizza? No. Well then don’t order that. Odds are you are going to be sitting there for awhile. Hostess: Don’t tell the hostess what you want to eat. They don’t care. Their job is to seat your ass. After that, they are done. Seating: We put you there for a reason. Stay there. Complaints: I understand if your food is undercooked, overcooked, not good. I get that. However, don’t complain about your food after you have eaten all of it. You know who you are. Stop it. I know I sound like the server from hell. I’m not. I am excellent at my job. I know what you are going to say before you actually say it. Maybe I just need a vacation. My point is thus: I want to make your dining experience a fun and memorable one. Don’t spoil it by opening your mouth. Your server does (hopefully) know what they’re doing. Eat. Pray. Love. Or as Shannon likes to say, “Eat. Pay. Leave.” We got this.

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$300.00 Bar Tab at Stake with Yazooperstar Contest!!

BOH•FOH Knoxville and Yazoo Brewery have teamed up to bring you The Yazooperstar Contest! Any restaurant or bar employee

who submits either a thirty second video or a 500 word essay on why Yazoo Brew makes them better at their job will win a $300.00 bar tab at Barley’s Tap Room! We’re looking for the craziest, wildest videos and the most well written humorous essays! We’ll post the winning video on BOHFOHNEWS.COM and we’ll print the winning essay in the Fall issue of BOH•FOH Knoxville ! The winner also gets a one of a kind Yazooperstar Yellow Jersey for bragging rights! Entry deadline is July 4th 2011. For all the details see page ? in this issue!

Tasty Bites Of The Knoxville Restaurant Scene

Dancing and Dining Didn’t Work but Public House Opens

Buzby’s Tango Grill put forth great effort to make it work but the restaurant slash ballroom closed it’s doors. Is it that the location is cursed or was the concept too new for Knoxville? Long has Knoxville been known as a birthplace for new concepts, but this one didn’t hit the mark. The food was reported to be good and positive comments were the majority. Previously, only Margharita’s has been able to sustain any length of time. That’s OK though, because we gained a new pub with the Public House.

Scott West Returns Home! Speakeasy Welcome

Scott West returned home on Monday, March 7 to Preservation Pub from being supervised for 4 1⁄2 years. The event was highlighted by a rare, four bands on one night! Izzy and the Kesstronics, The Kingston Springs, Miniboone, and Spirit Family Reunion all played this Un-official celebration! A huge throng of friends, family, customers, and fans came to celebrate on Market Square. Bernadette has done a fabulous job with the Speakeasy upstairs of Preservation Pub, making it an exciting return for sure! BOH•FOH Knoxville says, Welcome Home Scott!

Newly remodeled upstairs at the Preservation Pub. 18 Have you got a story to tell? • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • email your story to:


The Basic Bluff

continued from page 5 ... for the establishment or our pockets to embellish and say how exquisite “fresh” fish is or that it’s totally safe to eat the ground beef – that’s not what our customers are paying us for. As a server, I consider it my job to ensure that my customers get the best experience they ever had at my restaurant. Some people don’t want to spend a lot of money and they’re honest about that, so maybe my job with that table is to show them our least expensive menu items. No, this isn’t paying my bills and it’s certainly not making the restaurant a lot of money, but a small tab usually equals a quick meal, so what does it hurt to help these people honestly? They’re going to know there are menu items that cost less then $15 the second they

open the menu, so just show them the way and turn the table over. Some people are enjoying their 1,000th visit to your place of business and know exactly what they want, how they want it, and how long it should take them to get it. So, the key to this table is making sure they have condiments and full drinks. Sure, offer them appetizers and dessert because maybe they’ll splurge this time, but don’t for a second think you can tell them something is when it isn’t, or isn’t when it is because they’re regulars and they KNOW. Finally, you have the first timers; the ones that are excited by the promises and wonders that lay behind the menu cover. These people are your children, you have to walk them through their first experience, show them the way. You get to recommend your favorite

dishes (one of the best parts about being a server is that these people will order whatever you tell them to) and suggest they try a signature dessert because, after all, it IS their first time. You can’t mislead these people either, because like children they’re easily wounded. You can’t run the risk of sending them away with a bad taste in their mouth – figuratively and literally. Our job is to keep them coming back. It’s everyone else in between that you can use your discretion with. Generally, I settle for the truth, “That steak is butterflied and stuffed with hot stuffing so it usually keeps cooking even after it’s off the grill. You should get it one temperature below what you prefer.” Or, “Well, I don’t like red peppers so I can’t say for sure if it’s good, but I usually substitute jalapenos and it tastes great.” It

might not be exactly what they want to hear, but ultimately they’ll be glad you were truthful. Although their decision to char a tender piece of red meat beyond recognition and smother it with A1 may lead us to believe otherwise, our customers are actually pretty smart. Ultimately, they prefer and appreciate the truth. They recognize that our steering them away from the questionable quesadillas is in BOTH of our best interest. Also, realize that you’re probably not as good at bluffing as you think and maybe that 12% tip isn’t a reflection on “What a jerk that guy was,” but what a good judge of character. If you really get backed into a corner, plead the server’s fifth, “Well, I don’t know for sure, but a lot of my customers order it!” Works every time.

20 Have you got a story to tell? • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • email your story to:

21 Have you got a story to tell? • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • email your story to:


At every restaurant or bar there is someone who knows how to tell a joke. We enjoy putting this page together and our readers constantly tell us they love the jokes. Each issue, BOH • FOH prints the jokes we have accumulated on our travels in the restaurant world. If you think you have a better joke than these, let us know by email, and attach your picture with it!

Jessie, Bartender Automatic Slims, Memphis TN

Frances, Bartender Texas Roadhouse, Gatlinburg. TN

A redhead and a blonde are sitting at a bar and the redhead says to the blonde, I slept with a Brazilian man last night. The blonde says, “Oh my God, you slut! How many is a brazilian?” 22 Have you got a story to tell? • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • email your story to:

Three women are out celebrating their wedding anniversaries. They are all at dinner talking about what they got for gifts. Sally says, “My husband got me this 3 carat diamond ring.” Mary says, “That’s beautiful!” and Krissy chimes in, “That’s nice.” Mary then says, “My husband got me this 10 carat Diamond Tennis bracelet!” Sally says, “That is absolutely gorgeous!” and Krissy says, “That’s Nice.” Sally and Mary both turn to Krissy and ask, “What did your husband get you?” Krissy replies, “My husband got me lessons in etiquette.” Sally asks, “Why on earth would he get you etiquette lessons?” and Krissy says, “I used to say F#*k You all the time and now I just say THAT’S NICE!!!”

23 Have you got a story to tell? • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • email your story to:



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