B Louder December 2017

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don’t be just loud




8 Aman Jain Winner of Pune Fashion Fiesta.

BLOUDER ART 12 Azal 18 Arts Riya Sharma is a young artist. For her, art is life. Art is that fuel which keeps carriage of her life going. She paints to express, express her feelings, her thoughts and anything that words fail to explain. Art is not just her passion, Art is her life.




16 Positive Parenting

17 Dear Santa, We Don’t Need New Gifts but New Traditions!

Children are explorers who learn by doing and imitating. The family gives children a great opportunity to develop and practice new skills at their own pace by following unique interests.

Each time someone stands up against regressive traditions, customs or rituals, criticism and boycotts emerge like sightless earthworms wiggling their bodies in the mud, hoping 3 BLOUDER

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CONTENTS desperately that some of it will stick onto the University of Miami with a B.A. in Theater Arts recipient of their outrage. Well I am not sure if the and Advertising. frantic 22 Bucket List For 2018 New Year is just a month away; I know that sounds so crazy right? 2018 is on its way and has many more good things for you in store. Let’s give it a warm welcome and make a difference in it. Here are a few things to definitely do in 2018.

CLICK OUT LOUDER 24 Daniel Monteiro Photography The Collection—Daniel Monteiro Photography


31 31 Millennials vs Depression A decade ago word like Depression was canned inside other minor mental illness. Folks back then simply seek out for rehab centers to help themselves. Unfortunately, the picture we get to grasp of today’s Millennials is entirely tainted by lethal psychological sickness; similar to some viral trend. Every third person is suffering from mental breakdown.


32 Designing a Well-Lived Life 27 Alexander Popov Photography Where I live, the weather has grown colder, and 18 Raul Walder The Collection—Alexander Popov Photography the trees are becoming barren — what I Raul Walder was born in Caracas, Venezuela. His consider the perfect time for reflection and acting career began at a very young age in his contemplation. BHEALTHIER home country, working in several TV and film 30 How to Get Fitter During the Holidays? projects. Most recently, he graduated from the So as of today, I'm implementing a new holiday plan, to take me to the New Year. I'm calling it my Holiday Fitness Plan.


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34 DIY Christmas Decoration & Gift Ideas We decorate our homes every year in the almost same way, but this Christmas let's try something different and unique DIY ideas for decoration to make the Christmas celebration more celebrated. And a gift from me to all you, with Christmas DIY decoration ideas some beautiful gifts ideas too.


STYLE OUT LOUDER 46 Christmas Creations Family, friends, food, fun, freezing winters, mistletoe and wine, gifts and gathering, parties and celebrations unlimited, yes!! It’s that time of the year with ringing bells and Santa clause with celebrations never ending and our time to enjoy and get dressed for the merry occasion of Christmas. So here are some quick checks for your Christmas attire to slay your way this festive season. 54 Ace Your Accessories Men’s Guide to Perfect Looks. Style is not just about the clothes you wear, what enhances and edge up your whole personality is how you carry and bring together your complete attire and this comes up when we talk about accessories.

BLOUDER EXCLUSIVES 38 Adam Jakubowski Adam Jakubowski - born on December 2, 1989 in Warsaw. Polish photo model and influencer more known as a Lady Jakubowsky. He is in modeling industry since 2009. Since 2014, he is a successful makeup artist and stylist. In 2016, he opened his own photographic company MILK studio and started to work also as a photographer and photo editor.

49 Noah Ross He grew up as a military child and have lived in multiple states such as Alaska, Kentucky, north Carolina, Louisiana, and many more.

56 BLOUDER LITERARY 54 My Angel A poem by Rahul Choudhary Bhardwaj 55 Hope A poem by Kinjal Chavda Talati 56 Ruby Karp Ruby Karp has been performing at UCB since she was a fetus. Her first official UCB show was in 2003 in Jake Fogelnest's and Paul Scheer's Talk Show. She's done monologues at ASSSSCAT, a monoscene with Chris Gethard and was in an alien costume in a Broad City Live show. 58 The Spring’s Surprise A poem by Ambika Mazumder. 59 Graduation and a Broken Heart– Final Part A short story by Philip D. Patterson. 60 Story ( A Fable for People Coping with Mental Health Disorders) A story by Adwaita Dass. 62 Weekend Blues! Every weekend, the inner Hamlet in us loves to have a ‘To be or not to be’ soliloquy, in itself.

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We Hear You! Write To Us bloudermagazine@gmail.com


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@bloudermagazine on Instagram @bloudermagazine on Twitter Fb.com/bloudermagazine bloudermagazine.com

Thank You All For Connecting with Us. . .

First of all, thank you all for connecting with B Louder. Without you, there would be no magazine. So we’ve decided to take the time to let you know how much we appreciate you. I also personally want to thank all the wonderful writers who are writing for B Louder and trying to do their best to inspire people through their work. This is a magazine that traffics in the subjective. The people we’ve included here are doing wonderful job in their respective fields. They have shared their behind the success stories with us. And we want to share them with you. So we did our best to present them to you in the best way possible. In this month’s feature, you’ll find stories on artists, entrepreneurs, Christmas decorations, lifestyle, photography, health, home improvement, fitness, authors, models, fashion tips and trends, literary and much more. This issue is dedicated to celebrating the people we admire. We hope you enjoy reading December ’s issue of B Louder. We certainly enjoyed producing it. Please let us know if you have any suggestions. JASKARAN S. DHILLON EDITOR Instagram: @jaskaransdhillon jaskaransdhillon.com

Aman Jain

Raul Walder





id you always want to be in the modeling profession? When was the first time you realized you wanted to take it up as a career? Yes, I always wanted to be a part of glamour industry. I have always been a day dreamer and whatever thought I keep dreaming of, use to end at seeing myself walking down the Red carpet. It was almost a year back when I finally decided to take my first step towards modeling as a career.

What it takes to win Pune Fashion Fiesta. What are the challenges involved? Resilience and Confidence are the two things needed to win anything in your life; the same helped me to win the Winners Title at Pune Fashion Fiesta. Every other person who is competing against you will be better than you in something or other way. The only challenge involved, I feel is to overcome nervousness. Just feel confident in your skin and the path is all yours.


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How has winning the Pune Fashion Fiesta pageant affected your modeling career? Winning the Pune Fashion Fiesta has greatly helped me in my career. I got to work with many talented and renowned people of the industry like Mrs. Soniya Shetty Singh, Mr. Yog Kachre, Mr. Swapneel Ranjhane, Mr. Prathamesh Chhatre and Mr. Bhushan Deshmukh. They were constantly there for each one of us, helped us and transformed us into the better version of ourselves.

What workout do you do to get that amazing body? I am majorly involved with the weight training. I personally do not prefer any sort of equipment for cardio instead I believe in body weight exercises and circuit trainings which help in increasing my endurance.

Are you working fulltime as a model or do you also work next to it? Although working as full time model is an aspiration, I am also currently working as a Software Developer with Tata Consultancy Services.

What is your inspiration in life? I am quite a self-analytical person. So my focus has always been to better myself than I was before. To be the better version of myself is something which keeps me inspired and keeps me on the go always.

How do you prepare yourself before the shoot? I always prepare myself by gathering requirements for the shoot on two aspects – Emotional and Physical. Emotionally, I always try to understand the mood or genre of the

How would you define your personal style? My personal style is Comfort. Anything which makes you feel comfortable and confident is your own style. Be experimental with colors. Keep it Simple and elegant.

shoot and then accordingly how my physical appearance will support the kind of emotion I will be carrying in, for the shoot.


Were you into fashion before you started modeling? I believe, I was into fashion before modeling as I always use to keep experimenting with my looks, clothes and kept myself groomed. Are there any actors or models you look up to? There are many names in this list but I really adore Ranbir Kapoor, Rajkummar Rao and Rohit Khandelwal. Would you ever want to get into acting? Acting has been my passion since very young age. I have been a part of a theater group - Indian Peoples Theater Association (IPTA) for almost 3 years and I have recently completed my acting workshop under the guidance of Mr. Saurabh Sachdeva at The Actors Truth. So definitely getting into acting is one of the avenues I am looking at. What do you do to stay in shape? I never skip my workout. I always stick to my diet chart no matter where I am. Eat clean, healthy and organic food. I keep myself hydrated. If you could travel anywhere right now, where would you want to go and why? If I could, I would like to travel to Andaman Islands right now. Andaman is so beautiful in this particular season and I have always loved beaches and the state of calmness that comes along with the roar of the waves. What is your next target? My next target is to establish my name in fashion industry. Keep working and improving my physique and skills. Get associated and work with prominent brands/designers.


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iya Sharma is a young artist. For her, art is life. Art is that fuel which keeps carriage of her life going. She paints to express, express her feelings, her thoughts and anything that words fail to explain. Art is not just her passion, Art is her life.

We asked her, “How can you make people happy with your art?” She replied, “By fulfilling their at most desires and painting the most precious moments of their life on a canvas. I still remember when I painted a portrait of a dog for my customer. His pet turned 10 years old that day and the wide smile on his face when I delivered that piece of beauty to him was just adorable and precious. So yes, that one smile is worth it.


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lifestyle Parenting Tips

Positive Parenting BY KHUSHBOO SHIMRAN AND RAVI KUMAR | INSTAGRAM @KHUSHBOOSHIMRAN Children are explorers who learn by doing and imitating. The family gives children a great opportunity to develop and practice new skills at their own pace by following unique interests. When the child is growing up the relationship, discipline, security and play etc., are important for their developmental task. Nowadays many families have only one or two children. Therefore their care is essential for the development. Below are some ideas for caring and nurturing their overall development (physical, cognition, language and social-emotional skills, etc). Comfort is the first thing that children need from parents. When you comfort your child, she learns to feel secure, loved and valued. Play with your child. The play is the "work of children," and you are an essential "partner." When you play with your child, he learns to explore and discover the world and his role in it. Teach your child. Teach is what parents do to help their children learn. When you teach your child, she learns how to relate to others, solve problems and communicate All children need attention and affection. This is especially true for older children with younger siblings. A firstborn child gets used to a certain amount of attention and affection. They can find it very difficult to understand why they have to share the limelight with a younger child. This can lead to them feeling rejected and isolated. Make time to pay them special attention. Although the effect of television on children can be overstated there could be a link between your child's aggression and what they watch on television. If they like to watch programs that include a level of violence then this can have a negative effect on their behavior. The child when lives in the joint family can understand 16 BLOUDER

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the relationship of an uncle, aunty, sister-in-law, etc. Joint family's children are smarter and learn to share things and able to solve problems. If there is nuclear or single family then parents must take their children for visits during occasions and party, etc so that they can learn rituals and customs. Parents provide all play materials and other resources to their children and lock in the home and go away for the work. Please don’t do like this. Never create fear among the children. As the fear created against stranger may generate fear for anybody. The family is important for children development. Children share everything with their family members and learn a lot which prepares for self-dependent and self-esteem. Working parents must talk to their child on phone and schedule time for their children. If grandparents, relatives are in the same city then must plan a meeting in a week. The family is most important for children's expression, support, and appreciation. So, every family member should involve in their activities. Never leave the child on servant as they imitate them and do as they do. Parent’s behavior with others may also create fear which affects child’s personality. Thus, parents must care for that. Discipline prepares children so that he can achieve his goals in life. Children first learn from the discipline of their parents. Nowadays, most children are hyperactive and they suffer less stamina. In that situation, give them a work such as painting, adding block so that they sit in one place. Some children do not take bath or do homework

and have rubbing responses. Tell them that there is some work that should be done on time. Prepare a list of their daily work. Teach the child to say please and thank you. It depends on you how to teach. To teach this, you may give something in his hands and ask 'please give it' and if you give me then tell ‘thank you’. Children will learn soon. Be sure to wash hands and napkin after washing it before and after eating. If your child is silent on meeting someone, then ask them to say hello to her aunt/ uncle. You shake one by hands for greeting or hello, and also speak to the child to do the same. If children meet someone and greet them by themselves, please praise him. If the child is refusing to go to school then try to know the reason for it. It may be that he is suffering from harass by a child or is afraid of a teacher. Whatever time it takes to solve the problem of children, you should include them in this activity. If you have always lived in a quiet, peaceful environment then the introduction of a new friend can have an impact on the way your child behaves. Most children get frustrated and can show aggression if they are busy playing and you s uddenly tell them it is time to go. Although it is not always possible try to give them warning that it is nearly time to stop playing. If you sense a child is getting bored or frustrated with what they are doing be ready to suggest trying something different. A child who is trying to do something they find very difficult may run out of patience and lose their temper. Try and work out if there are triggers that regularly cause aggressive behavior. It can be as simple as children regularly arguing and becoming aggressive over what television program to watch. If you react to any problems in the home by shouting or hitting out, your children will learn from you that this is acceptable behavior at stressful times. Harsh, punitive punishment is associated with aggressive behavior in children. Remember parents and other adults are role models for their children. If parents respond with aggression, their children are likely to do the same. The more you talk to a child the easier they will find it to establish their own vocabulary and be able to express their frustrations verbally. In quiet periods explain to your child how they can resolve their differences through discussion and negotiation rather than through hitting out. If you have taken your child somewhere and they have behaved well or if they have had a good day at home then praise them. This will make your child feel good and want to behave in a positive manner more often.





NEW TRADITIONS! BY Kinjal Chavda Talati

INSTAGRAM @kinjal_freesoul men are more important, their lives have more value? This, in a country where the practice of female infanticide is so widespread that the government had to step in, and make it a criminal offence to disclose the gender of fetuses because we are murdering our girls. According to the 2011 Census, Haryana’s sex ratio was so skewed that there were only 861 females to every 1000 males. What happened to the rest of the girls isn’t a mystery. But still we propagate a custom where his life is more important than hers. ‘Don’t mess with our ancient traditions,’ they say. OR she is not enthusiastic they assume, let them do.


ach time someone stands up against regressive traditions, customs or rituals, criticism and boycotts emerge like sightless earthworms wiggling their bodies in the mud, hoping desperately that some of it will stick onto the recipient of their outrage. Well I am not sure if the frantic earthworms would throw mud on my face, thinking that it would make me bow my head in submission. I cannot stoop to the level where such beings reside as I believe that different perspectives should be presented, clearly and logically. And here is mine. As a kid, I have observed many fasts in order to get a good husband (as they told me).I always thought the process would stop once I get married. Unaware and ignorant that it was just a start. Once you get married you have to fast for

your husband’s long life .Karva Chauth is one of those rituals where a married woman prays for her husband’s long life by fasting the entire day. On the surface, a simple ritual, perhaps even a romantic one as you stand on a terrace dressed in your finery under moonlight. But look beneath the gota-embroidered dupattas and turn over the chhani, and you can see a more complex issue. And there are many other rituals like this in which we deprive ourselves of food, sleep and water out of love, of course, but what we are actually saying is: ‘Your life is more important than mine, so let me fast for you.’ The subconscious message to our children is: ‘Your father is more important than I am.’ And we pass this down generation after generation. Is this really the tradition that we want to pass on to our children because this one states that

I would like to tell them that if we stuck to all our traditions just because they’re ancient then we should still be pushing widows into funeral pyres to commit sati and get our children married off at the age of eight. If saying that makes me a bad Indian, then so be it. It’s not that I don’t feel the excitement of a special day but I cannot propagate a mindset where a man’s life is more important than a woman’s. If that too makes me a bad woman, bad daughter-in-law or bad Indian then so be it. And yes one last thing, for all those claiming to be the flag-bearers of ancient traditions, it would be lovely if you adhered to your so-called traditional ways completely. Why do you let your children study in the language of the Brits? Why not go traditional there as well, use only our ancient languages and spare us your venom-filled and grammatically incorrect English?

Merry Christmas! 17 BLOUDER

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Raul Walder was born in Caracas, Venezuela. His acting career began at a very young age in his home country, working in several TV and film projects. Most recently, he graduated from the University of Miami with a B.A. in Theater Arts and Advertising. Throughout his life, he's been the image for international brands such as Ford, Sony, ESPN, BlackBerry, among others. He's also known for his work on stage shows like "Carmen, a new afro-cuban musical" and "Rescatando la Navidad", as well as his screen work in "Tukiti, creci de una!" and films like "Nereus" and "Sr. Presidente".


lifestyle Millennials

When did you first realize that you wanted to become an actor and a model and what influenced you? Well, I started working in the entertainment industry at a very young age back in my home country, Venezuela. So even though nobody in my family works for the industry, I’ve always been really drawn to this world - acting & modeling. I remember one of my mom’s best friends was a really important model back then and she was definitely a great guide and help for me and my parents - I was only about 7 years old when I started haha! What do you love the most about being a model? I wouldn’t really consider myself to be a ‘model’. I’m an actor, which is what I’ve studied for years and worked on most of my life. And yes, both professions have a lot of similarities, but they’re also completely different worlds. So what I love the most about acting is what I call ‘the pursuit of truth’. Once you have studied a character in depth and you are able to turn off all external inhibitions (those that are not part of the scene), then that character - YOU, become no more than a real and truthful human being under imaginary circumstances. Someone who is not ‘acting’ but is simply trying to achieve clear objective with 20 BLOUDER

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his/her behavior. That fascinates me! Were you into fashion before you started modeling? Yes, I’ve always been very interested in every aspect of the entertainment industry, including fashion. I don’t let it take over my life (nothing should!) but I definitely follow it. There are many positive ways in which fashion can influence you, especially if you’re an actor. So I take what serves me and discard the rest. What’s the most memorable project that you have worked on? I recently finished working on a feature film called “Nereus”, which is directed by Georges Padey and produced by WOL Entertainment and Devilworks. The movie is currently being shopped around and it will be hitting festivals very soon. I’m very proud of the work that’s been done with that project and looking forward to hopefully seeing it on the big screen! Are there any actors or models that you look up to? Many! I personally love actors who, still being truth to themselves, transform in almost unimaginable ways. I really admire the work of Tom Hardy and Jake Gyllenhaal for instance. They approach each character differently, but

never fail to make them interesting, human and vulnerable. How would you define the word “Handsome”? There’s nothing more handsome than someone that loves himself/herself. In a confident and non-arrogant way, of course! Being happy with who you are and confident that you are all you need to be… that’s handsome. How do you prepare for a shoot? Usually, I try to go for a run early in the morning before the shoot. Then, I take a cold shower, which helps me tune in, and I have a light breakfast - ideally, an acai bowl!! What do you love to do the most when you have time off? I love doing stuff outdoors. I have a strong connection with nature and I feel it helps me reconnect with myself. So I love going to the beach or going hiking, and then meditating there. What do you do to stay in shape? Well, I try to eat healthy - even though I have my cheat meals here and there. I also go to the gym frequently. I go running, hiking, do yoga,

and something that’s become a crucial part of my life - meditating. Have you reached your dream assignment yet? If not, what would that dream assignment be? I’ve tried to set a ‘dream assignment’ for myself that is not really obtainable in a short period of time. That way, I’ll always feel the need to keep working harder and harder to obtain it. However, I’ve definitely achieved many of my short-term and mid-teem goals that will help me get to my ultimate one, which is having a long and successful career as an actor. If you could travel anywhere right now, where would you want to go? Croatia! My mother’s side of the family is from there. They have showed me pictures and I’ve completely fallen in love with the country. So that’s definitely my next destination. After that… Iceland! What gets you out of bed in the morning? Well, in all honesty, I leave the curtain partially open so the sunlight helps me wake up haha. I also try to workout in the mornings - that way, I’m energized for the rest of the day. Having that routine set, helps me get out of bed easier. If you weren’t acting what would you see yourself doing? Sailing the world! Or working at wildlife conservation! What is love for you? Are you dating someone? Love is having someone there for you that makes you better, supports your dreams and makes you fight harder for you who you want to be. This is obviously reciprocal! What are the five fun facts most people don’t know about you yet? 1* I have Venezuelan, Spanish, Croatian and Polish blood in me haha! 2* I have a beautiful dog named ‘Luna' - she’s the love of my life ;) 3* I have a profound love and connection with the oceans and plan to create a non-profit organization in pro of the sea-life in the future. 4* I was named after my grandfather, whose name was ‘Raoul’. And apparently, my name means “wolf”, which I completely identify with. 5* My birthday is on Halloween!! What are your specific plans for the future? I’m really focused on my career right now. I want to keep growing as an actor and keep working on projects that allow me to do that. Fortunately, I’m right where I need to be for that haha!


lifestyle All About You



By Harshini Chandrika | Instagram @harshini_chandrika

ew Year is just a month away; I know that sounds so crazy right? 2018 is on its way and has many more good things for you in store. Let’s give it a warm welcome and make a difference in it. Here are a few things to definitely do in 2018.

Travel alone

For all those of you who don't get time to go out whether it might be because of your job or because of your college, traveling alone should be definitely on your bucket list. There is so much more to explore in the world, there is so much more to see in your life. I suggest rather than sitting on your computers 24/7, get some tickets to your favorite place and let your body relax. Traveling alone will calm you and help to know yourself better.

Visit an animal shelter

Visiting an animal shelter and adopting an animal is a great cause. Maybe it won't change your life in a great extent but it will definitely change the life of the animal you will adopt. It is such a great feeling that you can make someone's life better and give them a home.

Sky diving/ Scuba diving

These two things can absolutely change your life. Jumping off of a plane and seeing the 22 BLOUDER

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world from the top or diving into the depths ocean and exploring the animal world below are two completely separate feelings. I know for some of you it's really scary, but why to fear when you only have one life and one chance?

barely have time for ourselves. But amidst all this, pause, breathe and meditate. It will give you stability in your mental health, which is a must these days. Meditation gives you peace and harmony, so why not just do it?

Give more, take less. Listen more, speak less

Love yourself

These two simple lines are the recipe towards a happy and successful life. You might think it's a very easy thing to do but trust me, it's not. To be able to provide others more than you receive back is a quality that everyone doesn’t possess. Implement these in your life and you are sure to have a great life ahead.

Live in the present, not in future or past

The mistake that we all commit in our lives is that we don't let go of our past or we think about the future. These two things restrict you from living your present happily. We need to learn that we can only be happy if we live the moment which is going on now. Past is gone and future is yet to come, so why waste your time for it?


I know that we all have a busy schedule and we

The most important thing in your life right now should be to love and cherish yourself as a person. The key for being happy is to be able to accept yourself for who you are. It’s a quality that doesn't develop in a day or two but can take months. But at the end it will leave you with nothing but happiness.

Engage in charity

You have the ability to make someone's life better. You can engage in some kind of charity to the less fortunate. The charity you make doesn't have to be huge one. You can give the homeless food or clothes. Seeing them smile and give you blessings is honestly a feeling worth everything in your life. Those are some of the many things you can do in 2018. I wish you all a very happy and prosperous New Year. I pray that all the happiness and success come your way.

Daniel Monteiro Photography

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Alexander Popov Photography


How to Get Fitter During the Holidays By Leo Babauta

Because of a number of family gatherings in the past week, I'm feeling heavy. I've overeaten and my exercise has been minimal. That's just a part of the holidays sometimes — things get so busy you can't help but let your healthy habits fall off. So as of today, I'm implementing a new holiday plan, to take me to the New Year. I'm calling it my Holiday Fitness Plan. Here's the plan: Be as consistent as possible, when I'm not traveling and have no visitors. We're going to be traveling a bit, and right now we have visitors. So during those times, and whenever we have a family gathering, I'm not going to worry about being consistent, but just try to not overdo things. During all other times, I'm going to try to be as consistent as possible, with both exercise and eating. No sweets or starchy foods, more veggies & fibrous foods. For eating, the biggest difficulties for me are starchy foods (French fries, breads, pizzas) and sweets. So I'm just going to cut those out, unless I'm traveling or have a family gathering. Even during those times, I'm going to try to limit the carb-rich foods to a reasonable amount. Instead of sweets or starchy foods, I'm going to focus on eating as many veggies as I can, as well as other fiber-rich foods like nuts, seeds, beans. Fruits are fine too. Eat moderate amounts. I don't really like tracking my calories or anything, but I know my habits tend toward overeating. So the key, other than food choices, is to eat a moderate amount. Meaning eat to less than full (because when I eat to full, it's usually a little too much). This requires mindfulness of how fast I'm eating (I tend to eat too much) and portion sizes. When I'm eating alone, this is much easier, but when I eat with the family, mindfulness is more of a challenge. I think I can do it if I remind myself before each meal. Weights to keep the muscle, running to keep fit, yoga to keep sane. I plan to lift weights twice a week (just to retain muscle), doing squats, deadlifts, bench press and chinups. Then run three times a week to stay fit (my wife and I are doing a half marathon training plan), throwing in some sprint intervals in the shorter runs. The Saturday run will usually be a longer run. Then an almost-daily short yoga session, which I need for flexibility but also believe is a great meditation session. So a pretty simple plan: no starchy or sweet foods, eat lots of veggies and fiber-rich foods, lift weights 2x a week, run 3x a week, with a short yoga session most days. And it's flexible: if I'm traveling, am at a family gathering, or 30 BLOUDER

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have visitors, I don't have to stress out. The key is to stick to this plan. Here's how to get better at sticking to plans like this:

Have reminders. How will I remember to work out? How will I remember to stay mindful at meal times?

Write it down. Put it somewhere you'll see it regularly. Picking some simple rules, like the ones above, help make things clear-cut, with no decision making or negotiating every day.

Get better at keeping promises to yourself. Does this matter to you? Does it matter more than urges to eat sweets? Does it matter more than the discomfort of exercise? If it matters, make a promise to yourself and keep it. If it doesn't matter, don't make the promise, do something else.

Each day, wake up and have a plan. What are you going to do to work out? What are you going to eat? Pick a few meals and just make those on most days. I like scrambled tofu with veggies for breakfast, tempeh stir-fry with veggies for lunch and dinner, and big hearty salads. Sometimes a bean and veggie soup.

The holidays are always busy, always filled with overeating and too many unhealthy meals. But they don't have to be the time when you just drop everything. I'm going to do my best to stick to these simple rules, and keep my promises to myself. I'll let you know how things go, by the New Year!


Millennials vs Depression BY MOUSUMI PAUL | INSTAGRAM @LAZY_LAAS

Depression, fake or real? A decade ago word like Depression was canned inside other minor mental illness. Folks back then simply seek out for rehab centers to help themselves. Unfortunately, the picture we get to grasp of today’s Millennials is entirely tainted by lethal psychological sickness; similar to some viral trend. Every third person is suffering from mental breakdown. Now the question is WHY? Suddenly why such curiosity for a mental illness is driving most nation line up in front of a psychologist’s chamber? Well in the holy sphere of netizens, things go viral even faster than Usain Bolts world record. Moreover, celebrities coming out of shells with their own struggle dealing with mental illness threw all lucidity behind the bars. Public looks up for similarity, to connect with celebs. Hence, let’s start comparing my own nothingness with someone’s real fight with inner darkness. Yes, a majority of people are having a difficult time. Yes, they tussle every day to simply stay alive. Yes, they plaster smile on their face. Yes, Depression is real and hard to identify at initial stage. Awkwardly, a huge slot of senseless being is busy playing online quiz to discover if they are mentally sick or just normal. Because being normal won’t put you under the spot light. The word Normal somehow offends our peer groups more than some queer slang

would have. After all who wants to be normal? Certainly Anxiety and Depression are the new forms of Cancer that’s rupturing the entire domain of young adults. It ream questions likeHow? Why? Why only me? What’s my fault? Yeah individuals start to question their own existence. Everything feels burden, talking feels like pain in the ass! So forget about debating. Somehow we thank our new found love for internet and nonversation. Because let’s admit it who would wish to walk into a crowd and grab some eyeballs. Depression teaches one to embrace their silence and loneliness. Cheers to Social media for adding up more spice and sugar in our life by unnecessary picturesque pop ups of happy, attractive, glisten world right at our face. True we do measure our value on the yard stick of social acceptance by the number of likes on Facebook; on basis of how many followers we can amass after an Instagram post; don’t forget to toss in textpectation(thanks to WhatsApp!) in the shopping cart for self-acceptance. The cause of our shattered reality and the fear of rejection is that one juggersnot we wish to suppress right back into the pit hole where it crawled out from. It’s so insensitive, so inhumane when you hear, “Hey! But the door is closed from inside. We can’t help them! They have to help themselves”. Anxiety is very much similar to Band-Aid, but then ripping it off is what scares the bejesus out

of our skin. We fear the change, we fear to get healed, we fear to get taken advantage of. Plus breaching adulthood is getting to overwhelming for our generation. We are the “Y!” stuck between generation X and Z. where the battle of glory is fought between real and reel. On one hand real issues, real suffering gets put down simply to gain charity out of choked publicity. On other hand it gets exhausting for some to fight their inner demon every day. It gets hard for them to explain, why we still cling to the memory of loss and make a home of ghost! It’s understandable when we hit the rock bottom we lose sight of hope. Darkness prevails everywhere around. Disregarding of all gloomy thoughts we should never fail to recall that rock bottoms are the foundation, on which we can be remade. Make a self-note; where there is some lesson there is no loss. It’s okay to feel the grief of being left alone; it’s okay to embrace your sadness. But never skip the steps of healing yourself from within. Move on! But at your own pace, don’t let the world hover their opinion above your self-healing period. Dear Millennials, your brain don’t have any pain receptors. So take a chill pill! Gulp some reality down your throat. Don’t drive yourself MAD trying to fix everything. In a tug-war between brain and heart let your conscious pick you up. Accept the reality of time, admit that you are screwed! But never give up on yourself. 31 BLOUDER

december 2017



LIFE By Leo Babauta

Where I live, the weather has grown colder, and the trees are becoming barren — what I consider the perfect time for reflection and contemplation. It’s the perfect time of the year to reflect on what a well-lived life might be for you. And then start designing that life, mapping out some actions you might take to create it. What does a well-lived life mean to you? Is it necessary to shoot for some grand life purpose in order to live life well? Is living a well-lived life about maximizing pleasures and luxuries? Or can we live well and find contentment no matter what we’re doing? I’m a fan of going whole-heartedly after a life mission myself, but I don’t think everyone needs one. You can find contentment working in your garden, reading a good novel, being with your kids, having a meal with friends. You can find contentment doing the work you already do.

For me, a well-lived life might mean that we work towards: Creating mindfulness in your life, and learning to be more present Finding compassion for yourself, and learning to love yourself more Creating deeper connections to other people Connecting your daily actions to meaning

I’m a fan of exploring the world, but you don’t need to travel or rack up incredible life experiences in order to live well. You can explore the world right where you are, going deeper instead of wider, learning and connecting to others and finding meaning in whatever you do.


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Creating wellness But as we work towards these, we can find beauty and joy right now, in who we are, in what we’re doing. There isn’t a magical destination in the future where things are better.

It’s always pretty much as good as it is right now — if we don’t like this moment, it’s because we’re selectively seeing the parts we don’t like. Instead, we can learn to appreciate everything (even the parts we don’t like) and find the wonder in each moment. I encourage you to spend some time this week thinking about what a well-lived life means for you — perhaps go for a walk, even in the cold, and contemplate what that might look like. The cold, I’ve found, is something we shrink from … but I now see it as a gift, reminding us we’re alive, helping us to eliminate frivolities and figure out what’s essential. When it’s cold, you are brought back to the present, and you have to focus. At least, that’s what I’ve been finding.







hristmas is not just a festival; it is a cheer to joy. Christmas Eve is the only eve when all over the world shines. Each and every person enjoys the brightness that Christmas brings in darkness. We decorate our homes every year in the almost same way, but this Christmas let's try something different and unique DIY ideas for decoration to make the Christmas celebration more celebrated. And a gift from me to all you, with Christmas DIY decoration ideas some beautiful gifts ideas too. 34 BLOUDER

december 2017

Wreath: As our main door, be the

entrance gate we will start from there. Just make a beautiful simple Wreath either related to Christmas or just a simple Wreath not belonging to any other thing. Simply, hanging a Wreath is a simple and nice idea. You can use color small pieces of ribbons, papers, or any crafty thing.

Fake Fireplace: If you don't have any

fire place then let's make (fake fireplace). You don't need to do anything large just black and white paint, paint brushes and socks. Steps are: Decide where you want to make this fireplace.

(Advice: use area where you use to sit.) Paint a 23" X 25" area on the wall with black paint and let it try. Make simple and beautiful border (like real fire places have to give an elegant look) with white paint. Also, draw some burning woods with the white paint and doesn’t shade. Attach some old beautiful socks in corner (not more than three).

Paper Christmas Trees: Buying

big Christmas trees is expensive as well as an old idea, this Christmas let’s make some paper Christmas trees of different sizes and place them on drawers, tables, near TV or PC or wherever you like to. This looks cute and adorable and doesn't not large space instead, fill the some vacant areas.

Banners: Banners are one of the prettiest

things we can do in Christmas. Use cardboards



or whatever you like for "Merry Christmas� or "bright night" or joy" or anything else. Hang around stairs, doors or Windows. It really looks attracting and fills positivity in the environment.

DIY candles: Now it's time to make

candles by yourself instead of buying them. Raw wax, colorful crayons, candle thread and a beautiful glass for candle is all you need. You can give colorful layers to your candle as well as colorful shapes. You can find more ideas on YouTube just by typing "DIY candle tutorial". DIY candles are really easy and exciting.

Shell trees: If you live near seas or oceans

or somewhere else where you can find beautiful shells than you can really do something different on this Christmas. Steps are really simple, make few cones of different sizes (at most 5 for a place) using hard paper or something else with hard features which can adopt cone shape and paste shells randomly or in pattern. It will give an amazing look.

Light up stairs and Windows: Decoration with lights is

being used from long time and it is still beautiful and delighting. On Christmas eve, lightning can bright-up our doors and stairs but one thing to keep in mind is that don't use colorful lights use at most 2-3 light colors.


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Christmas is one of the occasion on which we meet our family or friends to celebrate. It is a time we prefer to gift them something which can be affordable for us and memorable for them. Just like these: 1.Photo box (full of memorable and some special pictures). 2. Letter (for thanking them and expressing your love). 3. Surprise gift (something they like too much or they always wanted to buy but circumstances didn't let them do, gift them that thing). 4. Your time and love (take out some time for your loved ones from your busy schedule. Talk to them daily and keep expressing your love which is priceless). 5. Handmade Items (no matter whether it is food, decor item or something else, just add your love in that thing). 6. Explosion Box (the most creative idea that I like personally. You can check the process/tutorial for this on YouTube). 7. DIY Hand warmer (they are really easy to make and I like this idea because Christmas comes in winters so it is good to gift). 8. Makeover Their Old items (If you live in same house then you must know which things of them really means a lot to them but they never want to through those thing(s) because of their value. Here, we can make makeover those items; it will be really surprising for them.


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exclusives L. K. Elliott

Adam Jakubowski - born on December 2, 1989 in Warsaw. Polish photo model and influencer more known as a Lady Jakubowsky. He is in modeling industry since 2009. Since 2014, he is a successful makeup artist and stylist. In 2016, he opened his own photographic company - MILK studio and started to work also as a photographer and photo editor. How did the modelling bug bite you? Honestly? I don’t remember… it was so many years ago :) It was always my dream to be a model, I started from completely amateur photoshoots taken by my sister... it was so funny, but it showed me that I really love it, and finally I tried to work with professional photographers and it gave me possibility to start with my career. What was the biggest change in your life after entering into modelling industry? My life hasn’t changed too much. Of course, I became more popular, I started traveling a lot, I had more work - besides of modeling I still was working in big supermarket. I became also more self-confident. But it wasn’t a revolution :) What is your greatest weakness? What are you doing to improve it? I don’t have any - I’m a superhero :D I’m kidding of course… but it’s difficult to say. Maybe cigarettes? I couldn’t do anything with this, even though I know I should.


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Do you consider yourself to be creative? If so, give some examples. Oh yes, I think I’m very creative… I’m working now not only as a model, but also as a makeup artist, stylist, photographer, photo-editor, and owner of Photo Company I couldn’t do it without creativity :) I need to find thousands ideas for makeups (sometimes it’s more like body painting), for photoshoots with my clients, for stylizations. How would you describe your personal style? It was changing through the time… but now I think it’s casual style, with some extraordinary accents - like very long cardigans, corsets, or strong makeup :) A few years ago my outfits was really exceptional every day… now it’s impossible, that’s why I changed into more casual style, but I still love to look like Lady Gaga sometimes (parties, fashion weeks, etc.) Where do you pull your inspiration from? From my own brain… most of them :) of course I’m following a lot of other models or photographers on Instagram, and many of their photos are inspiring me, but I try to use it only as an inspiration, and create something mine from it :) Do you have any hidden talents? Graphic Design / Digital Art... I love it, and I’m quite good in it :) I don’t know if my hidden talent may be photography or makeup - it’s not so hidden :P


What do you think about when you’re in shower? “Omg, I forgot the towel again :O ” haha… but if you’re asking about moment when I’m alone and I can free my mind, I mostly thinks about me as a superhero :D I try to imagine what could I do if I’d be professor Charles Xavier from X-Men Movie. Are you seeing someone right now? What are the qualities you want in your partner? I’m almost 6 years in relationship :) The qualities - sensitivity, protective, supportive, trustworthiness… and of course we have to be best friends - this is the most important - Love can expire through the years, friendship will never die :) Who are you when you are with your friends – a Model or just a normal guy? How do you spend time with your buddies? I’m 100% normal guy :) The best way to spend time with my friend is to go to the pub, or meet in someone’s house and drink vodka… a lot of vodka :D and dance, sing, laugh… I love it! :) Honestly I don’t like clubs - it’s impossible to talk there due to loud music :( What is the dream that you cherish but cannot fulfill? To have professor Xavier’s force :D All my other dreams I can fulfill - sometimes I just need to fight for it, I need to work a lot, but everything is possible if you really want something :) Name five things you can’t live without? Friends / Family (for me it’s almost like a one thing), Photography, Good Food, Traveling, Money



What’s your strongest memory of your childhood? What’s your scariest experience? I don’t have one… I had an absolutely amazing childhood, my parents are best people I have ever known, but the thing that I will never forget are our travels (maybe that’s why I still love traveling as much).. And I really can’t remember any really scary experiences from my childhood... it was more like a fairytale than horror movie :P Describe a real-life situation that inspired you? Difficult question again… I don’t remember any :( I know or knew a lot of amazing people who really inspired me, especially from my beginning in modelling world, but not any situation… every photoshoot it’s an inspirational experience :) What is the bad habit that no one knows about you? Haha… and now everyone will know? :P I drink too much and I’m extremely pedantic. I won’t say anything more :P What is your dream project? Cooperation with someone really big in the world of photography - like Dutch photographer Ervin Olaf.



exclusive Adam Jakubowski

Nine Tips

From Adam Jakubowski

to Dress up

Like a Pro for Parties

1. 2. 3.

Find your own style.

Be creative.

Don’t be afraid - you must

look and feel good in your clothes, don’t care “what people will say.”

4. 5. 6.

Never combine checkered

trousers with striped top. Never combine pink with


The only color you can use

to create a single color outfit is black.

7. 8. 9.

Imagine that both - men

and women clothes are unisex. Don’t use oversize tops if


Have fun - fashion is

your cool buddy. 44 BLOUDER

december 2017


style out LOUDER

Fashion Tips



amily, friends, food, fun, freezing winters, mistletoe and wine, gifts and gathering, parties and celebrations unlimited, yes!! It’s that time of the year with ringing bells and Santa clause with celebrations never ending and our time to enjoy and get dressed for the merry occasion of Christmas. So here are some quick checks for your Christmas attire to slay your way this festive season.

COLOR CODES Stick to the conventional colors of this winter merry and add hints of glitz and glamour to give your outfit a stand out look. It’s all about red, green, white, furry things and sequences.

and walk in like a boss.

ACCESSORIES ACCENTUATE Pair you casual looks with sweet scarfs and fun gloves and not too much accessories just a simple neck band a sweet chain and tops will work perfectly. Its abut comfort and more is less here. For your office parties and formal meet ups, pair your outfit with some statement piece of jewelry like a necklace or a hand band or just a simple beautiful watch. Team it up with a simple clutch matching with your attire.

Team up your best pumps or ankle straps or high heeled boots complimenting your party vibes.

BE PERFECT Still confused or need last minute suggestions then here are some points that will be your savior and help you out to choose that perfect dress:-

STAY COZY AND COMFORTABLE It’s not all about glam and bling stay comfy and work your way in cute boots and sleepers matched with your favorite hoodies, cute sweaters, scarfs and playful caps.

Work your festive with sequin dress or skirt paired with block colors and blazers.


Little red dress with sheer detailing or some off shoulder feathers can your savior any Minute.

A silhouette dress or well-fitting thick skirts paired with silk blouses and beautiful cardigan are the perfect combination for a top notch official event with colleagues and workmates.

CELEBRATIONS CHARMS Wear your favorite chic cocktail dress in red for the obvious amazing perfection or pick up some teal greens with edgy detailing to be the talk of the party


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For the fun and fanfare parties with friends and family be carefree and snuggle up some sweet bling for to shine in the parties. Be it earrings, neckpieces or hand jewelry.

WALK YOUR WAY Team up some platform boots with length that suits your comfort level in all shades of red and black for that casual look. Detailed furs or sequin designs add up to your desired look. For that slaying formal look match some stilettos or kitten heals in the festive color codes

Knee length silk dress and velvet suits bring out the lady love in you. All glitters and fun be your attire for the eve parties Stay sweet and sassy teaming laces and leathers and mix and match some ace blouse with leather short skirts and stockings.

style out LOUDER Fashion Tips



tyle is not just about the clothes you wear, what enhances and edge up your whole personality is how you carry and bring together your complete attire and this comes up when we talk about accessories. Accessories are the little details that can create or devastate your look. So here are some men’s essentials in accessories for their wardrobes you may never go wrong with these little things that matter.

EYEWEA R A decent pair of sunglasses is enough to spice up and shape your entire look. Be it the always in trend aviators, trending wayfarers, club 47 BLOUDER

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style out LOUDER Fashion Tips

masters or the geeky nerd spectacles a good pair of sunglasses is a must have for you.

SCA RF Not much taken into notice but a scarf is often ignored of its usage as in creating a contrast to boring casual outfit be it summers or winters. Strike your look with a good scarf any day in with some deep colors.

WRIST WATCH One among the favorite accessories of boys and men is a wrist watch. It is something a man should never be forgetting to team up with their outfit. A classy silver metallic band watch for formals or the rough and tough bands with sleek and sturdy dials is in all time.

BELT A belt is the thing no man should leave their home without. A wardrobe savior for all casual and formal styles a leather belt both brown and black are a must have to go with your outfits each time. Keeping it simple and classy in buckle options is very necessary rather than being too experimenting with your choices with them.


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As important is money for a person so is the wallet it is kept in, a man that keeps his money well safe and meticulous shows the quality of virtue in him. A leather wallet contoured or with detailed detailing in classy black, brown, baize and matte shades is perfect for you to carry and work with.

FORMA LS Cufflinks, tie, broche, and pocket squares are the important accessories without which a formal look can never be complete. Never forget to save these in your closet for the right formal occasion to suit it up with your chivalry.

HA NDKERCHIEF A handkerchief is something that often defines a man’s character moreover then just its usability. An accessory at rescue keep in mind always to carry one because you never know when you need to impress with your chivalry or flaunt your etiquettes .

SHOES A major component of any outfit is to finish the look with a perfect pair of footwear, somber formal black shoes to casual sporty to loafers. Wear the right comfort fit as per the occasion and location.




style out LOUDER Noah Ross



here did you grow up? Tell us about your family. I grew up as a military child and have lived in multiple states such as Alaska, Kentucky, north Carolina, Louisiana, and many more. How would you define yourself as a person? I would say that I keep to myself a lot but I’m a very hard worker when I set my heart on it. Tell us about your career as a model. How were you discovered? I was discovered less than a year ago while I was at work and since then modeling for me has taken off. 50 BLOUDER

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In your own eyes, what was the moment that your career really took off? I could really tell that modeling was for me after I did my first runway show and had a lot of good feedback. What’s one of the most interesting shoots that you’ve done? My most interesting shoot has to be a horror shoot that I did. Did you ever have a crazy experience during your modeling career? Not yet and I’m hoping to have some throughout this journey. What was the biggest change in your life

after entering into modelling industry? A lot of hate from the people I used to call my friends. Have you reached your dream assignment yet? If not, what would that dream assignment be? I have not yet reached my dream, my dream is to be known internationally as a male runway and fitness/fashion model. What is one of your favorite photographs from your career so far? Who shot it? My favorite images from a shoot were done by Sarah Elizabeth Nichols. Describe your life using film titles. Noah in wonderland.


style out LOUDER Noah Ross

What is your favorite thing to do when not working? I like to go to the gym, the gym is very therapeutic for me. What’s a typical week like for you? Work, school, working on my future career, and spending time with my family. Tell us something that's true, that almost nobody agrees with you on. Anybody can be a model. What turns you on or off most about dating? The commitment and distractions that comes with dating. Give us 5 facts about you, people may not know. I played football for about 8 years, my favorite color is blue, I am 17 years old, I am musically inclined and I will do anything for success. What are your travel essentials? My hair products, facial cleansers, my hats, multiple pairs of shoes and multiple pairs of sunglasses. What motivates you to get out of bed in the morning? Get my day started because I don't want to sleep it away. What’s next for you? I will be moving to Nashville, Tennessee. Do you have any advice for those who want to start modeling? Don’t stop even when it gets hard and people doubt you but don’t give up!



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his is a poetic conversation between me and a kid when he asked about the existence of angels in universe

Kid: Hey bro! I’ve heard angels exist in dale, Is it true or just a fairy tale? Tell me what is an angel? Who is an angel? Is she a beautiful glamorous girl or just a hallucination? His question was as cute as his face. I opted not to respond him but he got annoyed. Me: Don’t get furious, I know you are curious. Why you want to know about angels, It seems you are creating some angles. Let me tell you a story first, You will come to know the rest. She is a girl, of course, And her heart is filled with love for yours. Then I started describing angel to that kid. Me: The sun is descending in the west, The birds are going back to their nests. The evening star is glowing with shine, And I must seek the star of mine.

A God or a Demon? Me: She got in contact with a man, Who flirts with her so she wanted to ran. But flirting was his natural art, Hold on, the story is about to start.

She was stunning of all, Even the heavens seem to fall. Different from all other angels, She was sitting in peace and eating mangles.

That angel, in every aspect, was different from all, She always wanted to have her world small. Just she and her lover was all what she wants, But didn’t know how to fulfill her grants. Kid: What about the boy Me: The boy, unaware of the future, befriended her, She just accepted the future coming to her. Chatting the entire day was their daily routine, Doesn’t this story seem hard to believe? Kid: So that’s how the story lifted. Certainly not. I suspect. Me: The boy who first seemed nonsense to her, Has now got fully connected to her. Through the invisible bond they share, And see; now they both are available here. Kid: Oh! So this is a love story. Me: The boy and angel is becoming fan, Enjoying their friendship as much as they can. On monthly basis, they started meeting now, But one can say they still are good friends somehow. Kid: What! I started expecting a love story. Don’t change the storyline now. Me: Though it doesn’t seem to be a love story, But friendship is the first step for brewing love to glory. She started loving his inner beauty, And took caring for him as her only duty.

Her praise requires millennium to explain, She looks even more ravishing in rain. She was loved by everyone, And then accidently, she met someone. Kid: O ho! A twist in story. Who did she meet,

Who knew, without making any special efforts, They both were luckily going to next level. Angel was now getting confused about what’s going on, Kid: But she never confessed and tried to move

Once there lived an angel, So bright, so beautiful, her eyes hazel. Her gait was more than just fine, And she was looking all divine.


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on. But she failed. Am I right? Of course I am. Me: The boy who still consider her a good friend, Is now thinking to reconsider his trend. The angel in her own words seemed confusing, But avoided cupid’s arrows by refusing. Kid: Did the story proceed further? Me: She wanted to express her feelings and opinion, But was scared of losing a companion. Unable to hold the cobweb of her emotions, She found that telling him is the best solution. Kid: How did she confess? Me: She confessed but actually did not, Used a messenger to make this topic hot. The reckless boy was first showing hesitance, But ultimately failed to deny her importance. After getting green signal from a single, That boy was preparing to mingle. 11th of December was the date, From that day, she is his and he is her mate. Kid: Story is getting interesting. Me: They fight often, still love each other, Can’t even think of living without each other. Their love is getting stronger with each passing day, And now they both are waiting for their wedding day. Kid: When did they marry? Me: Their love never needed a carriage, Because it requires two persons for marriage. Since they are one soul in two components, Therefore waiting for God to deliver His judgments. Kid: The story was really amazing, made Goosebumps. But I’m missing one part of it. I can’t seem to place why you dictated the entire story in past tense. Tell me their present. Me: That angel is no more an angel, but my wife now, This story has got a brilliant end, wow. We two are living happily since then, Now you give this story, 10 out of 10.

HOPE BY Kinjal Chavda Talati INSTAGRAM @kinjal_freesoul When things don't go the way you want to, When life doesn't run on the track that you want it to! When you can see only darkness all around you, It is this one thing that you hung on to! What is this one thing that pushes you on even in bad times, When life has to go on Pondering and thinking I almost reached at the end of my rope, When I realized this one thing is Nothing else but HOPE ! It helps you sustain in those times when on your face nothing shows but frown; It helps you sustain in all those times when you are really feeling down! It helps you sail through the river of life whether the tide is high or low, It helps you live life to the fullest, When all you have is sadness in a row ! So dear friends hang on to this HOPE It helps you on, acting as a rope! It is something which will make you realize, That god almighty will surely help you rise.


literary Ruby Karp



december 2017


literary Ruby Karp


uby Karp has been performing at UCB since she was a fetus. Her first official UCB show was in 2003 in Jake Fogelnest's and Paul Scheer's Talk Show. She's done monologues at ASSSSCAT, a monoscene with Chris Gethard and was in an alien costume in a Broad City Live show. She was the host of the monthly Hello Giggles Presents storytelling & stand up show. She's appeared in Human Giant and talked about feminism with Amy Poehler in Smart Girls at the Party. Ruby has won a Moth slam, she's done a TEDx talk, spoken at the UN and hosted StuVoice. Ruby has written for Hello Giggles, Mashable, Refinery29 and the Mindhut. She is the author of Earth Hates Me, which will be published October 2017. And, she currently hosts the monthly stand up show, We Hope You Have Fun at UCB East. She's a senior at LaGuardia School of Performing Arts and would really like to pass Calculus. What Earth Hates Me is all about? What it’s like being a teenage girl in today’s society, and the different aspects of life you are hit with and forced to deal with for the first time. When did you first realize that you want to write this book? Sophomore year of high school when a woman from Random House told me a teenage girl should write a book about what it’s like being a teenage girl. Where do you get your ideas? I don’t really know. Most of the time when I’m writing, I’m pulling from personal experience. So I guess my “idea source” is just living. How much time it took you to write Earth Hates Me? SO MUCH TIME. I spent every free second I had during junior year of high school writing that book! How did publishing your first book change your life? I’ve definitely learned a lot about myself and managing my own stress. I’ve learned I’m capable of more than I thought I was. What did you do with your first payment? Put it in my bank account! What does literary success look like to you? People being honestly affected by the writing and having your writing mean something to someone. What’s the best way to market your books? Still figuring this one out myself.

What kind of research did you do, and how long did you spend researching before began writing your book? I actually didn’t do much research. The book is very much not based on statistics. In the first chapter, I say that I can only write from my own experiences. I never wanted anyone to feel like I was trying to act like I knew what they were going through, because I don’t. I wanted the book to be more personal than statistical. Do you read your book reviews? How do you deal with bad or good ones? I’m a person who can’t not read everything everyone is saying about me. It always makes me feel bad, and I always regret it but I can’t not! I deal with it by reassuring myself that not everyone will love everything I do, and that is

ok. What one thing would you give up to become a better writer? Nothing because a good writer needs life experiences, and I wouldn’t want to miss out on anything. What is your favorite childhood book? The Molly Moon series. Do you have any suggestions to new or unpublished writers? If so, what are they? Keep trying, keep submitting. What are your future plans? I’m about to start writing for Refinery29, continuing my comedy show, and I would like to get into college. 57 BLOUDER

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The Spring‘s Surprise BY Ambika Mazumder INSTAGRAM @miss_oenomel Her eye veils lifts gradually, Surprised by sunshine It felt completely disparate After age long winter She was confused, As well delighted Her barren skin now glows Her passion ignited But the sun and breeze Felt strange to her Now, winter being her friend. Those storms, once hostile Now being her abode. Why the sun kisses her forehead? Now adores her with love? When once isolated her at past. Being small child of earth, Obliterated those pains with smile And got lost by spring’s surprise But the spring cannot obliterate Those scars on her soul Cause winter was still ruling those. Fell in love with spring again She pleases him singing melodious tunes But she held on winter in her too As deep in her heart it was a boon A boon which made her tough, Formed out of thorns Still compassionate, as today she was.

Graduation and a Broken Heart– Final Part


ames laid in his bed. Suddenly he remembered some funny moments he had with Tommy and Mia… There were a lot of them, because they all knew each other since the second or third grade. There were happy moments, and there were unhappy moments… Happy moment when they all were in the zoo in a school trip… They were in fourth grade. Mia ignored all the “don’t feed the animals” signs and threw them lots of peanuts, cotton candy, and even some soda. The teacher saw a floating cotton candy slowly fading in the lake were many fish were, though she couldn’t see the one to be blamed for it. Mia was afraid to be in detention, so Tommy and James took the blame. Mia could stay at home watching her favorite show while the two other friends played some trading card game in detention for a week or so. They also loved to play scary games… They loved Five Nights at Freddy’s! Although Mia wouldn’t jump at the killing animatronics, James and Tommy would shit their pants while playing. Although scared, they laughed at each other getting scared when losing. But when Mia went to the bathroom after she lost the game, Tommy and James were waiting in the door outside. When she got outside, they both yelled at her. She locked herself in the bathroom with the scared while both the immature boys laughed. They also used to go to a local restaurant frequently… They would have the same always. Mia had the salad sandwich, Tommy would have ribs and James would get fish and fries. The waiter didn’t even asked; he would just see

a story by Phillip D. Patterson the three coming and would ask the cook to make those three dishes. They were always delicious. Unfortunately, the restaurant closed when they entered high school. They were even planning to have dinner there after graduation, but those plans would never be possible. Especially now that James was becoming more distant from Mia and Tommy than ever… After some weeks, Mia and Tommy were pretty sure they loved each other. James was also sure he loved Tommy more than Mia… He was needy of someone, because he was all alone. Mia and Tommy tried to talk to him, but he decided that being around would be very painful. But in one moment, he was happy again, because Ned, a hot nerdy boy asked him to go out. He could stop to think about Mia and Tommy, because he had a boyfriend now. They were so happy together… As they knew each other, they would get closer and closer. Eventually, they had sex. James thought it was the best sex he ever had – even being the only time he had sex in his whole life. But again, things went wrong. Ned wasn’t just as interested anymore after a month. And James was pretty sure he was falling for a girl. James then ended the relationship and they never talked to each other again. As Mia and Tommy were too distant, he would cry every night in his room. Life didn’t have sense without his friends! But if they were distant, that was because of James’ choices, there was no turn around! He went to one of those places were you could rent a gun to shot in some targets to get distracted. He would pretend the targets were

his problems, and wouldn’t miss the bullet in no one of them. He would regularly go there to relax. What a great therapy is to shoot targets. But in one day, Mia and Tommy followed him. After James finished shooting, Mia hugged him. And so did Tommy. They all cried. Mia and Tommy apologized, James apologized, but in a matter of seconds they would forget every problem they had. They were friends again. Actually, Mia and Tommy were more than just friends, but James didn’t cared anymore. All that mattered was they were together again, as friends! In two weeks, they all graduated. James was still kind of sad as he saw Ned kissing the girl he loved. And Tommy and Mia kissing – he got over it, but he was sad he had no one to share that moment with… Then he realized it was bullshit. He had his friends with him… Yeah, he also had a broken heart, but it wouldn’t take too long for it to heal.



STORY (A FABLE FOR PEOPLE COPING WITH MENTAL HEALTH DISORDERS) This story should begin with blood. It should begin with tears and choked sobs. Begin with marks of mutilation made on the body with sharp objects, which doctors tell you to keep away from depressed people. This story should begin with death. * The blood soaks through the mattress and pools on the floor, drip dripping in silence that settles as the sobs seep into sleep. She has taken all the medication available to her. Three kinds, to be had thrice a day. For thirty days. She has swallowed them all. She has swallowed the half bottle of alcohol kept stashed in the cupboard for emergencies. She has cut open her wrists as wide as strength and sharpness had permitted. The blood soaks through the mattress and pools on the floor drip dripping in silence. She has fallen asleep. She sleeps for many hours hoping never to be awakened again. The door is forced open. She is carried down flights of stairs into a vehicle and rushed to the hospital. They pump her stomach and repair her wrists. They are not happy. This is illegal. The police are informed. When she wakes, several uniformed figures peer into her face. She didn’t 60 BLOUDER

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BY ADWAITA DAS | INSTAGRAM: @ADWAITA.DAS want to wake. She didn’t want to wake again. They ask her questions they would not understand the answers to. They ask her questions, which have no connection to all this. They harass her parents who have flown down in emergency. They harass the man who has brought her to the hospital. They file a case against her. She hadn’t wanted to wake up. She wanted to sleep. She only wanted to sleep. * Stop crying. Stop crying. Stop crying. Stop crying. Stop crying. Stop crying. Stop crying. Stop crying. Just stop crying. She couldn’t stop crying. Weak people cry. Are you weak? Be strong. Cheer up. Make yourself stop crying. Be positive. Stop crying. Be strong. She couldn’t stop crying. She would hide in the bathroom and cry. She would escape to the terrace and cry. She would smother her sobs in the pillow and cry as sound snoring rose from beside her. She couldn’t stop crying. Do breathing exercises. Do yoga. Do meditation. Be strong. Will power can cure cancer.

Stop being depressed. What are you depressed about? Weak people cry. Be strong. Stop crying like someone has died. What great tragedy has struck you? Why are you behaving like this? Stop crying. Stop crying. She couldn’t stop crying. The darkness wouldn’t let her breathe. The darkness was damp and the walls felt like fungus and the floors were wet to touch. A low snarling and growling came from darkness. The darkness smelt of rejection and hatred. The darkness pressed salty against the open wounds all over her body. She was ashamed of being weak. Ashamed of the crying she couldn’t stop. She was ashamed of asking for treatment. She was ashamed of having to take medication. Weak people do all this. Weak selfish people trying to seek attention. She left home to live in a city far away. She was tired of being a burden to her parents. She was tired of being ashamed and hateful of herself. She was tired of making people put up with the crying and sobbing and long fits of convulsions tearing her body apart. Tired of


making people who love her tolerate the darkness she was sinking in. In the other city, she gathered distance from her family but found no respite from herself. The medicines she has begun to accept in hope that the crying would stop and the darkness would melt, made her mind foggy, made her body sluggish. The only moments of light were when she would write or dance. The medicines made both difficult. She could not sleep and stayed in a continuous haze of drowsiness. She still could not stop crying. * Please do not think this is a dull person being written about. This was the brightest kid in the block. She was beautiful. A topper in academics. She could sing dance paint. Her smile could light up a people. The bounce in her step could match mountain springs. If you saw her in her happiness, you would not believe it was the same fairy child who turned into this monster of darkness. She hated this monster which had grown bigger and uglier over many years. She was afraid she couldn’t hide this monster in the bathroom or the attic anymore. She was afraid this monster wouldn’t let her live. It wanted her to die, wanted her to want to die, to not want to live. She was afraid. So afraid. She couldn’t settle into friendships or relationships, afraid of scaring people away when the monster would come out. She went into long periods of hiding from friends and family to keep them from finding out how horrible the monster could be. How horrendous the monster would become. She was so afraid and ashamed of the monster. She wanted to put it to sleep, for always. She wanted it to go away and never come back to trouble the people she loved. She wanted it destroyed and deleted from existence. Except this wasn’t a separate person. It was her. She was the monster. She was the one who cried for no reason, howling like the death beaters of desert towns. She was the one who couldn’t breathe in a heartbeat, from anxiety or fear, gasping and clutching at her chest, rubbing it desperately to make air move in the lungs. She was the one who had drilling headaches, which spread through her skull, moving down her neck, making her shoulders and arms throb in spasms. She was the one who would shake and tremble and convulse in epilepsy like fits, fracturing her bones from being flung around bodily from within, hitting walls and furniture, unless held tightly or pinned down. She was the one who couldn’t stop crying. Couldn’t stop the darkness from taking over. She was the one who couldn’t remove the negative thoughts running in a movie loop inside her head. She was the monster. Who had to die? Who didn’t want to live? Who wanted to take the burden off her dear people? Let them live in peace without having to cope with this shameful creature of weakness and fear. She couldn’t undepress herself. She didn’t want to wake up again, wanting only to die. She wanted only to die. And the monster would die. * There are many years in these words and sentences. These are, perhaps, a couple of decades and then a couple more. This is perhaps since the beginning of birth. This is perhaps all of life lived. The middle has so much before it began or after the end. Then there is always what Freud thinks of children’s dreams. There is al-

ways what Krishna spoke of in the battle field of Kurukshetra. And the many years in between. She threw herself into song, dance and lovemaking. Not wanting to hate herself. Not wanting to leave a single cell space for bad thoughts. Wanting to want to live. Tiring herself out to sleep. Even then, spending dawns crying hidden with her face to the wall. Then having squandered all energy over months and years, she locked herself in. She read. She wrote. She prayed to the light to take her. She cried as she read. She cried as she wrote. She still wanted to die and stop having to try so hard to keep the bad thoughts away. She turned day to night, night to day. From downstairs came music and clattering sounds of male gossip. Upstairs they made jumpy love and played bumpy games. She prayed to the dawn to take her. To take her please. These were all more months and years. When she came out in her brightness amongst people, no one could tell she wanted to die. It grew sunnier where she stepped, people flushed from happiness in her passing presence. No one could tell she cried to herself every day, every night, all the time, she cried to herself, wanting to die, wanting to not have to try so hard to stop crying, not have to fight so hard to keep the monster away. * She draws each stroke with ease and effort. With the strokes she tries to make the screaming in her head be released. In each line, each color, each shadow, she puts the chaos, the anger, the hatred. With each next curve or step, she tries to bring the shaking in control. The pictures she takes, the movements she makes, the work she creates, she tries to keep bad thoughts away. She fills up her time with many things to make, so each thing is an expression of the acid that burns her inside. But not to corrode, not to hate. But to take it out of her, take it out and turn it to a thing of beauty to appreciate. Beauty was worth fighting for, maybe not Life, perhaps not Truth, even if not Love, Beauty was worth fighting for. Beauty of All as is, was Life Truth Love. The monster would dissolve, dissipate in strokes of paint, in tunes of poem, in sways of dance, in stories of screens and picture book pages, cell by cell, thought by thought, flaming breath by breath, the monster would dissolve, dissipate and drain away. She still cried every night to wakeful sleep. But she found a thing to wake up to, wake up for, the next day. Each day she found a reason to live another day. * He fell in love with her at first sight. Or so he felt later. He loved her more every day. So much so that everyone he knew, knew he loved her and presented his case to her with eagerness. Everyone except him. They began as vague acquaintances, became friendly, and began to work together. She never let him see the monster. She found reasons to not love him back. She didn’t want him to run away scared. She liked him enough to never want him to leave her life. He made work more fun. They would find new things to make, new adventures to be played. She saw a demon in him sometimes and she felt a little less afraid. Perhaps he wouldn’t hate her monster since he as well had a demon kept tamed. Perhaps together they would know how to be children again. Neither of them had brother or sister or playmate. She only wanted them to sleep like babies all night and to play


happily all day. When they did finally get together, their energies were endless. When they were both bright and happy it would be a carnival that never goes off. When even one switched to dark, the other would sink into gloom as well, together making it a sea tempest. The waves rose so high and black, the clouds gathered so thick and black, the rain poured so heavy and black, their ship was pummeled to pieces. The pitiless hate they flung at each other, the anger with which she hit him, throwing and breaking furniture, the spite with which he resisted, the weight of silence between them, the exhausting arguments that lasted months and weeks – each day she wanted to give up and run away before he did. Only, that, he didn’t run away. His demon wrestled with her monster but they stuck together in arm lock. No one knew why. She didn’t know why. He said it was for love. Love was worth hating for, he said. Even each other. Love was worth fighting for, he said. Change is constant. Yet, change is so difficult to accept. Hence, change takes place constantly. It takes place slowly without we noticing. He began to see how hard she fought her monster. She began to realize how hard he wrestled his demon. In all the hating, hitting, and harshness, change had begun to take place in them. Love has its own life, as does beauty. And truth was, they were twin souls so desperately floundering in lost waters of bitterness. She gave him reason to smile. He gave her faith to sleep. They slowly forgot all that was bad. They slowly remembered only the good things. And each goodness was worth a million nastiness’s. The arguments dissolved. And laughter rose from the warmth of love and understanding. It filled the bottomless hate and anger with grace. She told his demon she loved it. He told her monster he loved it. Change had begun perhaps since the beginning of birth or had been there in all of life lived, perhaps in the middle there was change working its own constant way, perhaps towards this end there was awareness gained to make it visible to their bright eyes. She still cried many times some days, some nights she still wanted to die. But in the light of love there was no monster, there was no demon. Only themselves. * This story could end with joy. This story would end with song and dance. See them now. She moves her body, her limbs, her neck, her face, to make water, make wave, make rain on earth, make tree bloom, make wings rise in flight as she tells the story of birth to death to life. He washes the world in ripples of light. He clothes moving pictures with meaning and thought. He illuminates sounds becoming spectacles. The curtains of memory and miracle rise on the stage of sequined soliloquies woven in dreams. See them. See the universe they create. Of hope. Of laughter and peace. Plunge a pipe into the ocean of goodness, the supply still remains endless. Add even a drop of goodness to this ocean and it becomes vaster yet. This story should end with love. This story should end with life. Endings are simply beginnings. We begin with love. With life we begin.


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“Me- Yo Te amo (I love you) Weekend- Yo tambien Te amo (I love you too) Me- Eso es una Pena (that’s too bad) Weekend- Eso es todo? (That’s it?)”

Every weekend, the inner Hamlet in us loves to have a ‘To be or not to be’ soliloquy, in itself. In a knock-out round between ‘Weekday vs. Weekend’ without a doubt weekdays going to win first few rounds; but guess what! In a fight of ‘survival of the fittest’ weekend always going to punch down weekday (K.O.). Has it ever occurred to you why we keep bolting down places to go and things to be done, once in life? The enchanting glory of countless undeniably repulsive things drone by our netizen fellas all over the internet adds up to the craving of self-containment. And no it’s not just a millennial thing. Let’s trace back the steps of time. Remember how much you hated waking up to Monday mornings and dragging yourself for schools? Can you recall how much you loathed those surprise tests thrown at you? Yes you do remember those ungrateful days. Back then we invented bunking classes, escorted by friends. We named it our little escape. Those


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same faces have turned into strangers now. More often like some target to beat down, in their own game. Yeah we grew up! So did our inner child. Earlier, it was a cry for satisfying childish snooping, and now it solely boiled down to young-age procrastination!

The solitary blooper we are dealing while tackling our Weekend Blues is this probation followed by the Selfie-Obsessed world. The constant self-scrutiny we are deemed on is exhausting! We can’t enjoy food until it’s been clicked and shown to the meek spectators. Similarly, we can’t enjoy our three days holiday until and unless we put up visual proof of it. Yes, you will be judged on what you going to put up. Yes, you still going to be judged if you kept it blank. Welcome, to your tape! Since, our ability to remain self-content gets relentlessly pecked on by monstrous worldly admiration, getting stuck between Give-up and Try-again is natural. We live in admiration of our past, meanwhile our present yearn for attention. Awe-inspiring! Instagram post, fancy weekend parties, after parties, due bucket list, memes and gags of lonesome nights. Charitable quotes,

constant food for unnecessary thoughts. These are the knack of our current time. The run and chase, that’s what we live for? A part of our benevolent soul wants to stretch out legs on Sunday morning, sipping on coffee, relaxing and admiring nature out of our balcony. But the fierce malevolent self-conscious is more intrigued by late night hangouts, to be more précised it’s all about capturing moment for telecasting on social media. Because Know-it-all parades don’t create repel, they influence more attraction. And who won’t love to be the gratified center of attention! Duh! So beloved, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, stop opening your arms like graveyard; to everyone. Yeah we are in awe with the very idea of ‘living on the edge, Carpe diem, YOLO!’ However, who won’t appreciate a nice sort break from chaotic hustle-bustle of day-to-day burden. Yes! We all need some time out from our daily struggle to live up on netizen expectation. In this weird world we look up at ourselves keenly, and put us up against the pointless worldly inspection. The philosophical aspect of wildness can only be tamed by chaos sounds good to ears; but how about sparing some wild sprouts to celebrate the fools!




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