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there we have it nothing has happened but be good to them always. i laid there in bed for the longest long time. tried to sleep but half-eyed laughing fits shuffled me about in five minute intervals. i shuddered toward the side wall to my left. i tried holding your hand as an act of endearment (other reasons exist outside of my alternative education, i'm sure) and you scoffed, 'is this supposed to be something else?' so i pulled away fast too embarrassed of something the whole world is doing. oh, sadness can be so deceiving. (the 'i wonder what she thinks like when she has no clothes on' issue 12/09) PARTS: /// EVENTS AND RECOLLECTION 01. TWO JPGS – RALPH DELACRUZ (NTRNT) 02. I MAY NEVER EVER SEE TOMORROW AGAIN (HOPEFULLY) - BERT SUMPSIN (SEINFELD) 03. ERR1.GIF – MIKHAIL WASSMER (BERLIN/ZURICH) 04. YOU AND ME – DAN CORREIA (WINDSOR) 05. ALRIGHT SAVE FOR WEB GUYS (+COVER/INSIDECOVER)- ANDREA ARRUBLA 06. A FACE TO FACE EMBRACE RUNS THE HORRIFIC RISK OF A CLOTHED CROTCH GRAZE DIMITRI KARAKOSTAS (TO) 07. MINDBITCH – JONATHAN LEBLANC (TO) 08. “I CANT TELL THE DIFFERNCE ANYMORE” - KELLY SMITH (WINDSOR) 09. TWO POEMS OF VARYING TITLES – ALEX COLEURS (PHILLY/TO) 10. PERPETUAL VOIDS (+BACKCOVER) - CARLEIGH MALLAH (PITTSBURGH) HTTP://CULTURALBARF.BLOGSPOT.COM ARE YOU HAPPY? / \ YES NO / [ CHANGE ] \ | [ SOMETHING ] DO YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY? | \ / | KEEP DOING - - -YES NO WHATEVER IT IS / YOU'RE DOING - - - - - - - - - - the distinguished vapour of an elegant rich girl gone bad, frustration bellows over calendars set to the wrong month because you felt september's photo was ill-fitting. fuck our age, please. never forget this feeling: arm behind legs slightly intertwined accidental or whether or not it was just a space issue at the time. maybe tomorrow different name and phone number (jeremy? robert? wes?) TWO SIDE-BY-SIDE A-LINE ALONG THE BIKE LANE TRAPPED CAR-DOOR STREET-SIGN TO STIFF-IRONED FAKE-SMILE AT WORK 2PM X FOUR might just be what i need to fuck my fucking face off, but what does that even (Fucking) mean? a long time loved newspaper darling muffin baby shuts metal doors to feel anything


finally we have become nothing like we had thought, ha ha ha. boasting hate-sex to ex's, such a waste but still always pay the added five cents for plastic bags. a different scent permeates your most sacred place and hilarity ensues. your eyes dry out in a hot, heated room. at least you have a slow work day ahead to look forward to. i want somebody who Loves me to break my nose. slow motion in step weaving through tens, there is no appeal in the city in winter, night. heels sore for no-looks, stuck to sheets by at least 12. write something down and tear it up when a girl takes her clothes off - i Always leave the room. the most 'medina' raised trained fumbler gains a scowling sidewalk and wrists around all sentimental stories: one of your childhood or how your soccer team went so far in the playoffs in 2004 but one of your parents didn't come and it devalued everything in that moment. you stress on your cellphone, it starts to make sense. i am reminded of nothing as the announcer claims this is a story about being upset at something that doesn't exist and we all agree. faithlessness is an acquired trait you never thought in a million years that you would possess. every bent clotheshanger barely holding something reminds you that nothing can be as misleading as rational thought. i am just as guilty. you can write as many to-do lists as you feel is appropriate but still you never talk to the pretty girl who probably likes the same things but is also a bit older but you think it's such a negative thing and then all of a sudden you're back at home in bed writing down theoretical conversation to convert her to you (one of these days). there are several reputable sources to cite in the miserable story of unacquainted pairs in the same room, united by the same ideology but never knowing the other due to it. suddenly you laugh so often, you seem like a completely different person. the climber streaks down on a high-rise condo series of windows searching for vintage xanax prescription papers dated back to the worst of my youth years darkest black books of the same feeling 5-3-1 years before right now, the most terrible feeling ever. a pocketed Buzz. the same then, or maybe not the same but at least i had it all together a little bit better. i lost a few more phrases today and still cough while replying to something honest. i swallowed my own words and gasped at a long-distance relationship. my roommate's girlfriends weeps while they have sex, it scares me awake 3 nights a week. [a dream recalled december 12/2009. my bed, sheets barely mattress (usual) but there is a beautiful girl, so pretty somewhere (not better than me, this is my favourite trait about books and laughs so much, and i think it isn't that so sad.]

covering bare and tiny yes, tattoos evidentally), talks far away. you are not

i have sat down and spoken at length with all my insecurities over the course of three days. i wonder how hard it will be to fix myself? a jaunt or tryst, to be postponed probably but i can still hope that you love being loved and you have realized that is a shameful discourse. all 'a' yall, running your waiting time out and going out expecting a global surprise AM. you selfishly steal all the sheets / i love a nighttime scuffle: do you get what i'm saying right now?

the secret of me being here is i am only half here.


the coughing stock of the party police in the crowd, invisible (saw Lesser of each other) recorded all scenes, mapped state threads with 2xCharm fate Full two week bOrder visit tomorrow those famous lovers stuck in perpetual cop-car no-Motion / out-side youR house those willing, (anxiously) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - we developed: to the top of, Distant, none. a little older, however, not drunk at the local alternate club relevant culture youth hot spot but with shirt off in addition to illegal parts of a house party bar who is to say i'm better for it my more Hated features were rolled upwards in me, some share, but usually during an hour or so. feeling sorry for me a block of ice melts in the back seat of your car trembling each short hair or plaid shirt laughing man no-jokes, beer puddle pools west queen west. at least i'm not which standard man like that. a kitten curls itself Upwards on your feet under your desk reminds you- perhaps to call your mom, or invites a friend over. did i really break my glasses in bed, drunk early november? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - this life is hectic but I want to always rub your back your shoulders during the day light as not to leave why us? errors will be made, to repeat more; still you love the false people your odor in my sheets, hardly there skin-soft and lost preparing to leave constantly; left my lips to chap rendering them to uselessness secretly, i'd love you to worry perhaps about our culture (apart from installations) for photographed parties the large numerical camera heat-bitch the graffiti earlier hung somewhere only the crisis of medium or the life-married stumblings of a man in the bar 'you young people, you have the remainder of your life to fail everything.' - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


towards the top lighten up you don't smile enough blow even the last chance event blow-out sale a correction develops in my beard a garbageman hit by a Toyota 1983 my presence on the internet decreases and jpgs turn to dots a little too much conflict of programming (or haha) awaking before 8 or not going tomorrow, to be able to return it by the wet rumbling day of a bicep. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - New-Orleans, darker and darkest that red-wine, uncorked knowledge not actuated by batteries AA but more extreme than the vaguest flirt of curiosity the effect of a snowball of all the most feelings broken beer bottles tomorrow morning of the too busy to be killed for girl-with-glasses, friend-ex-small-new-friend-make-u-false-excuses smiling a disaffected air high when kisses intelligent and bedtime i can't even think about it - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - this tea dries out my mouth skin, scabbiest four seasons very clean even when rustiest my skin, much better complexed six months a year trying hard to maintain a nice place assuring you, no removing craft from the constantly glazed man textbook word bending glorious in all parents beds august and forgiven sweepstakes winner when a pretty girl walking down the street knees turned down going going (i must be) going now, contributing buddy momentarily paused or frozen or stalling to catch a breath - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - by the time you read this i will be 22 (and probably) wearing boots at my desk, looking adulter-er, confiDent-er, the resolute bender to end all benders, ending and two less Holding-on-still fell-through-and-excusing myself to leave the table or room - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - what just disappeared into you? was it a breeze or a memory? did you jolt something frightening waking you every hour, hour fearing your sleep again you have become so still eyed, hard, soresongs you didn't write at sixteen intact, hiding cigarette packs under the living room couch with a chewing-gum smile running swift through 24/h news channel meaning i'm bound to do it someday explained friendly enough 'hyper mistook an exclusive trembling meant only for you.' - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


so, i; the given up still because you would say twenty-two holding soon hardly which luggage on my back, except a trail of no-loves and joke-to promise-forevers no-love-letters on stationary businesses printed paper menus re-used listing two during once with the store when I dropped myself drunk matches and us, them two stole per package of gum, you liked it so much! (I?) one kisses seems fantastic! but - - please fall deadened beside the others the life is a joke and i'm above him,

another re-run

the late-nite bicycle-assemble the financial zone when it's hot outside closed eyes with half and an affected smile 'I think, therefore i hardly exist' never to know the combat is not an imagination hate me with your friend to dine the birthday of need something interestingtwo thin boys in an alley catch your attention why is sexual attraction a mystery with me but what I can say now? Berlin-leap with a pretty, pretty heart, dividing the even-child-cities perhaps we bump in another somewhere share soon. you feel sorry for embracesrather those that speak bar labelled forthe fifteen dollars of spent time with friends; I HAVE NEED FOR THEM reasonable reasonable reasonable to lay down it's sun sector of compartments introduced and the binary deadened tomb



Cultural Barf Dossier #2