Page 1

A Mila Fans Can’t Be Wrong …about a woman who’s so right Scan to join the


Steven Doyle Gives You The Perfect Seafood Cheat Sheet NHL Ice Girls Heat Things Up The Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG Black Series… Hell Yeah & Step Up Your Style IQ


get blitzed

March 2013

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 2

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 2


March 2013

2013 pg 22.

Essential information about this issue and your month pg 5.

Danica Patrick, Brittney Griner,

Our Girl Next Door, Amber LaFrance, overhauls your closet so you look more Bradley Cooper and less Creature From The Black Lagoon.

are making the phrase “you play like a girl” pg 4.

pg 20.


a compliment

Mila Kunis makes Oz a much sexier place despite the flying monkeys



and Ronda Rousey

pg 8.

pg 15.

Steven Doyle goes diggin’ for mudbugs

The NHL’s hottest Ice Girls drop by to show us their game. What’s the penalty for high-sticking again?

pg 10.

Cargasm: Get behind the wheel of the ultra-exclusive Mercedes Benz SLS AMG Black Series…Just be sure to wipe the dashboard off when you’re done pg 18.


March 2013

On Deck

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 2

Sports Toughest Leading Ladies By Keysha Hogan - @TheKeysha


unday night we watched the most beautiful women in the world win big on Oscar Night. They were gracious and lovely while decked out in the most fashionable designer dresses. But what about the new leading ladies in the sports world? They are tough, take no @#$* and are poised to dominate in 2013 and beyond.

Danica Patrick The teenager in me has a few dumb jokes about a female race car driver and winning the pole position, but let’s keep things classy. During most of Speedweek, Patrick finally lived up to the hype. Her execution and eighth-place finish

Publisher Kelly G. Reed Editor-in-Chief Jus Chris Patterson Creative Director Michael H. Lee Photo Editor Darryl Briggs Cover Design Michael H. Lee Staff Photographers Gregg Case, Steven Hendrix, Rick Leal, Kevin Jacobson, Chuck Majors

get blitzed

Staff Writers Geoff Case, Steven Doyle, Peter Gerstenzang, David Goodspeed, Ethan Harmon, Frank LaCosta, Amber LaFrance, Mark Miller, Posie Pockets Contributing Photographers/ Artists Marco Angelo, Scott Audette, Kenny Christy,Daylon Deon, Steven Doyle, Kevin Jacobson, Jamie Lane, Damien Martin, Ken Pfiefer, Gus Phillipas, Brandon Showers Contributing Writers Gary Dowell, C.J. Gardner, Greg Holman, Melissa Howard, Jan Hubbard, Martin Iheke, Dwayne Williams

CONTACT US Phone: 214-529-7370 • FAX: 972-960-8618 Email:

BLITZ Weekly

P.O. Box 295293, Lewisville, TX 75029 • Copyright 2013 YK Publishing, LLC. No portion of BLITZ Weekly may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the express written permission of the Publisher. BLITZ Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. BLITZ Weekly may be distributed only by BLITZ Weekly’s authorized independent contractors or BLITZ Weekly’s authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of BLITZ Weekly, take more than one copy of each BLITZ Weekly issue. Articles printed in this publication may express opinions or views not necessarily the opinions of BLITZ Weekly. The BLITZ Weekly is not responsible for the content or claims of advertisements or editorial in this publication. Story reprints are available for $1 plus postage; call the office at 214-529-7370 to place an order or check our archives at www.

was nothing short of historical and admirable. For once her romantic life and GoDaddy ads took a backseat to her professional gains. In practice and testing, it was obvious that she had quickly became comfortable with restrictor-plate style racing. And when she locked down the pole for the Daytona 500 at 196.434 mph with a Stewart-Haas Racing package by Hendrick

score 3,000 points in the history of the game. Still not convinced? Well, last year she rallied her teammates and led them to a perfect 40-0 record and a national championship. Currently she is in the middle of orchestrating a repeat performance and taking Lady Bears straight to the top.

engines, everything fell into place. After the race Patrick told the press she “was brought up to be the fastest driver, not the fastest girl.” This could be the year she delivers and wins big.

Ronda Rousey What people seem to forget about MMA’s new star, Ronda Rousey, is that she’s been fighting her entire life. She began in Judo and became the first American woman to medal in the sport at the Beijing Olympics. But after returning home, she realized there weren’t many jobs for women who were experts at throwing people down. To survive she started bartending and waiting tables in L.A. After some time she stumbled into the world of MMA, then went on to win her first three fights, all in the first round. Last year the criticism of Rousey was deafening as other fighters accused her of being selfish and talking her way into a title fight when she had only logged 138 seconds of cage time as a pro. They claimed she cared more about herself than the sport, but now it seems that if she hadn’t showed up then the future of the women’s division would be more uncertain. Either way, it doesn’t matter if it boils down to Rousey’s hunt for cash and glory or the explosive growth she brought to her sport. She came, she fought, she won. End of story.

Brittney Griner Just a couple of hours down the road in Waco, Brittney Griner is rewriting the women’s basketball history books. She’s already moved passed legends like Tennessee’s Chamique Holdsclaw and USC’s Cheryl Miller on the alltime scoring list. So far, she’s the only female basketball player to block 700 shots and she moves with dominance across the court to dunk on paralyzed opponents. At 6 feet, 8 inches, she has combined her intelligence and quickness to transform the sport. And on top of everything else, Griner is only one of eight female players to

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 2

another ex-mav bound for the hall? By jan hubbard


t has now become obvious that Dirk Nowitzki will be the first member of the Mavericks’ organization to be enshrined in the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame and that’s not going to happen any time soon. Nowitzki is 34 but because of the nature of his game, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him play six or seven more years. When he gets near 40, he can simply camp out at the 3-point line and toss up uncontested shots. He can’t be considered for the Hall until five years after his retirement, so it’s going to be anywhere from eight to13 years before he’s enshrined. And he will be on the first ballot. There is one man with Mavericks connections, however, who does deserve to be in the Hall of Fame and it’s not Steve Nash. He’ll make the Hall, but his two MVP awards came with the Suns and that’s where he became a dominating player. The ex-Maverick who should be in the Hall is Dick Motta, the first coach in franchise history. Motta has been nominated several times, but he did not even make the list of finalists that was announced during the recent All-Star week. Motta’s problem is simple – he stayed too long. Had Motta retired when he was 55, he would have had a career coaching record of

808-750. That’s not too far off Red Holzman’s 696-604 record, or Jack TRamsay’s 864-783. The problem with Motta’s resume is that because during the last six years of his career, he took jobs with young teams in Sacramento and Dallas (during a second tenure), his losses exceed his wins. His 1,017 losses (with 935 wins) are fourth-most in NBA history behind only Lenny Wilkens, Bill Fitch and Don Nelson (Although Nellie obviously also had Mavericks ties, he made the Hall of Fame primarily because of his career in Milwaukee). Wilkens and Nelson, however, had a winning percentage better than .500. Motta and Fitch did not, and neither is in the Hall of Fame. Motta’s record in particular produces a compelling debate. Unlike Fitch – who benefitted from coaching Larry Bird’s Celtics and Hakeem Olajuwon’s Rockets – Motta never coached a team that was favored to win a title. The issue is whether a coach with more losses than wins can be in the Hall of Fame. I have asked a number of people who have served on the voting committee and the results have been mixed. Some say no because of the record alone. Others say yes because Motta had a significant impact on how the game is played. Motta was innovative, but more as a coach

who perfected parts of the game that existed. No one was better at getting a 6-5 forward like Mark Aguirre, putting him in the low post and running an offense that repeatedly got Aguirre open shots against taller defenders. Motta’s set offense was one of the best in NBA history, and although some judged him to be conservative because his teams were deliberate and disciplined, Motta encouraged his players to shoot as many 3-pointers as they could. “I like the 3-pointer, especially when you don’t have much height,” Motta would say. “If you make it, it’s a psychological blow to the other team. If you miss it, the ball hits the rim so hard that it bounces out and gives you a better chance to rebound.” Motta also was one of those rare college coaches who was successful in the NBA. NBA teams had rarely hired college coaches in the late-1960s, but Motta was part of a wave in 1968 that included Ramsay and a couple of years later, Cotton Fitzsimmons. Probably no one had a more unlikely background than Motta, who had coached at Weber State University. You won’t find many teams that go to a place like Ogden, Utah, to find a head coach. Motta obviously was special. Motta coached eight years in Chicago and

March 2013


Photo Courtesy:

against tough competition, he built a team that won 50 or more games four consecutive years. The Bulls could never get far into the playoffs, however, because they could not beat Jerry West’s Lakers or Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s Milwaukee Bucks. After eight years in Chicago, Motta went to Washington for four years, then landed, for him, a dream job in Dallas, where he coached the Mavericks for seven years. Motta loved coaching young players and teaching the game. Those who watched Motta closely during his career know that he is deserving of the Hall, and I’m hoping that perhaps next year voters will take another look. Because if Motta were to get into the Hall, he wouldn’t be the first coach enshrined with a record worse than .500. There is precedent. There is a man who coached nine seasons of basketball and had winning teams only two times. His career record was 55-60. Now, no doubt this man made the most significant contribution in basketball history. But as a head coach, he did not have his moments. The other coach under .500 in the Hall of Fame? A man named Dr. James A. Naismith.


March 2013

star struck

Dallas battling for success By martin iheke –


njuries are starting to pile up for the Dallas Stars. Despite last Saturday night’s big win at home against the San Jose Sharks, 3-1, the Stars lost two defensemen in Aaron Rome and Philip Larsen. Apparently at some point early in the game, Rome took a shot to the foot from the puck and had to leave the game. Larsen left late in the game due to suffering a concussion. The Stars are currently without Trevor Dominic Ceraldi Nilstorp will need all the help he can get Daley, Kari Lehtonen and Ray Whitney so they cannot had two assists in the game, was a plus-1 and afford to lose anyone else. logged over twenty-three and a half minutes Meanwhile, their best player in Jamie Benn has of ice time. He was big on the power play as been stepping up. He had the “Gordie Howe” the Stars finished two for six on the extra-man hat trick in the win against the Sharks which is advantage. Goligoski talked about it after the a goal, an assist and a fight. Benn was happier game. “It is progress but there is obviously room about a much-needed win than getting the hat for improvement and I thought we were good trick. “No, not really,” Benn said. “The biggest thing out there tonight,” Goligoski said. “Production matters so it felt good to get a couple,” as he was our goalie played great tonight. It was his continued. In the last five games before last first NHL win and our team got two big points Saturday, the Stars had only scored two goals against a division rival,” as he continued. He in their previous nineteen opportunities on the is talking about backup goalie, Cristopher power play. That is pathetic and will not win Nilstorp, who was superb in the game. He you a lot of games hence why the Stars lost stopped 31 shots out of 32 in the win and that three of those five games. They spent most is something they need from him as long as of practice last Friday working on it by trying Lehtonen is out. “Of course it is a great feeling out different lineups to see if something would to get your first win,” Nilstorp said. “I think work. The Stars are hoping the success on the guys did an amazing job in front of me so the power play from Saturday’s win will I am very thankful for that,” as he continued. continue as the season wears on. It is interesting that he made the point about The Stars are currently tied for the seventh the guys in front of him doing a solid job of and eighth spots in the Western Conference defending because that was not the case in standings at nineteen points with the Phoenix the loss last Thursday night at home to the Coyotes and San Jose Sharks. If they can get Vancouver Canucks, 4-3. Nilstorp only faced on a roll again, they could find themselves 22 shots in the game but let four of them get much higher in the standings. The Stars return past him into the net. Most of those goals were home when they face the Edmonton Oilers. because of poor play in their own zone. That Then they play the St. Louis Blues in an early needs to improve and it starts with defenseman Sunday afternoon game before they enjoy Alex Goligoski. three days off before going to Los Angeles to He is the Stars highest paid defensemen and play the defending Stanley Cup Champion, he needs to start playing like one. He was Kings, for the first time this season. terrific in the win against the Sharks as he

ufc 158 Preview


By brian beard – Georges “Rush” St-Pierre (23-2-0) vs. Nick Diaz (27-8-1): Let me start off by saying that I think this should be Hendricks’ fight but hey, it isn’t. WAR DIAZ! Nick Diaz, love him or hate him, always comes to fight. He will not pussy foot around the cage and will engage! He has crazy, weird/good boxing and will box GSP ears on the feet. He also has a better submission game than GSP. The area that GSP completely dominates this fight is the wrestling. He has exceptional wrestling and ground control. He has really good stand up as well, but I look for Diaz to win the battle on the feet. GSP will look to take the dangerous Diaz down early and he will succeed. He will be able to control Diaz and thwart his submission attempts, but due to lack of action, the ref will stand them. My prediction: Diaz is going to TKO St. Pierre in the third. I have never, and will never pick against Diaz. Look for at least two middle fingers from Diaz as well and a ton of other taunting and shit talking.

Carlos “Natural Born Killer” Condit (28-6-0) vs. Johny “Bigg Rigg” Hendricks (14-1-0): Once again Hendricks gets screwed! He should have never fought Kampmann in his last fight. How many cats does he have to beat to get a title shot? This is no knock on Condit as he is a great fighter and poses a big thread to Hendricks, but come on. He should have fought Condit when he had the belt. Now that GSP has his belt back, outright, Hendricks should be fighting him. Hendricks must have pissed Dana White off at some point. That being said this should be a good fight. Condit is a really good striker and has a great submission game. Hendricks is possibly the best wrestler in the game right now and has absolute dynamite in his hands. He will knock a mofo smooth out! Condit is a smart fighter and will be prepared to avoid Hendricks’ big punches. This may end up on the ground if Hendricks gets frustrated. My prediction: I look for Hendricks and his Leonidas beard to win a unanimous decision. Will he get passed up for the title again? Nick “The Promise” Ring (13-1-0) vs. Chris Camozzi (18-5-0): These two cats have very similar skill sets. Good striking and good submissions. Nick Ring has a competitive Muay Thai background which could give him the edge standing. He is also a brown belt in BJJ and is very solid in the submission department. Camozzi is a scrappy fighter that is riding a three fight win streak that he is looking to extend. Neither fighter is afraid to stand and bang so this should be a good one. My prediction: Look for Ring to be the more technical fighter and edge out a decision in a good stand up battle.

PRESENTED by get blitzed

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 2

The Gym 921 West Mayfield Road Arlington, TX 76015 (817) 652-1555

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 2

March 2013


for tickets


March 2013

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 2

dallas mavericks report

is dirk going to be a mav for life?

By C.J. Gardner -


irk Nowitzki put any doubts about his future with the Mavericks to rest earlier this week by saying he wants to sign a two or three-year contract after his current deal is up in 2014. Nowitzki’s announcement has him wearing only a Mavs jersey for his career. “It’s still fun, but I don’t know if I’ll play until 40,” Nowitzki told “But when I’m 36, [I’ll] definitely sign one more deal, maybe two or three years.” Dirk had his best game on Sunday against the Lakers, putting up 30 points and grabbing 13 rebounds and seems to be getting back to his best after his arthroscopic surgery before the season. He thinks that he can continue to play for a few more years, if he continues to feel how he does now, and that bodes well for the Mavericks. Even though things have not been going great for the Mavericks lately, they have payroll

flexibility. Though the Mavs have had no luck luring another superstar to pair with Dirk, Mark Cuban and Donnie Nelson have shown that they will do anything to get the best team around Dirk. So as long as Dirk is still in a Mavs uniform, you can bet the front office will do whatever it takes to help Dirk lead the Mavs to another title. One thing that Maverick fans won’t have to worry about is Dirk just wanting to get paid. Dirk has made over 200 million, so Dirk is not hurting for money. He will take a pay cut if it helps bring in another superstar or two to help the team as he showed when he left 16 million on the table with his last contract. His priority is winning. As far as his on the court performance goes, We love thehe Big Dirk knows is German not going to be averaging 20 points a game in his late 30s. He realizes that he will not be Batman or Robin, but a complementary piece for the Mavericks. He referred to Sam Perkins as an example of what he can offer, a four who can shoot and stretch the floor. He has never been a strong defender, but his game bodes well for playing into his late 30s. He is not a physically reliant player and he is a great shooter. If he can stay healthy, he will be able to contribute for as long as he wants to play. As a sports fan, it is refreshing to see the relationship between Mark Cuban and Dirk get blitzed

Nowitzki in this day and age of sports owners being overly concerned with the business side of sports. We here in the DFW have seen how quickly a franchise player can be off a team as a team looks to turn the page and cut the payroll with Michael Young. With Cuban and Nowitzki, there is a sense of loyalty between the two. They both know they owe each other a lot and even though some might say it will come back to bite Cuban later on, but he will keep Dirk around. Cuban has been quoted as saying, “I want him to come back for forever. I’ll keep on signing him until he’s 73 if he wants to keep on playing.” The greatest Maverick of all time deserves to play for only one team. The end for Dirk Nowitzki appears to be a few years away, but as of right now, it looks like Dirk will get to do what other Dallas sports legends such as Mike Modano, Emmitt Smith and Michael Young didn’t, spend their professional careers with one franchise.

Art: Marco Angelo

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 2

March 2013

By mark miller - After two seasons as World Series participants, the Texas Rangers entered the ensuing spring trainings brimming with confidence and with only a few unknowns. But after falling apart at the end of 2012 and losing their only playoff game, this year is quite different. They will be spending much time in Arizona trying to regain their old swagger while answering numerous questions that will help determine if they remain contenders or return to the pretenders they were before 2010. Here are just some of those questions and responses: 1. Can two former Chicago catchers make up for one in Boston? At this time last year, Geovany Soto was the starting catcher for the Chicago Cubs while A.J. Pierzynski was the same for the Chicago White Sox. This year, they will share duties for the Texas Rangers. Whether they can replace Mike Napoli, who moved to Boston after two years as the Rangers’ No. 1 backstop, will be one piece to the 2013 puzzle. If Pierzynski remains the steady player he always has been, this could turn out quite positive. A career .284 hitter, the left-handed hitter had a great 2012 with a career-high 27 home runs, a career-tying 77 runs batted in and a .278 average. He’s only made 55 errors in 1,559 major league games, a .995 percentage. And he’s a two-time All-Star who was part of the 2005 World Series champions. Though he batted just .198 in 2013, Soto had a combined 11 home runs and 30 RBI in 99 games. And he played a key factor in starting pitcher Yu Darvish’s strong 2012 finish. 2. Which Lance Berkman will show up? The Rangers knew they were taking a chance signing the Waco native this season. Injuries limited the 37-year-old switch-hitter to 32 games and just 81 at-bats in 2012. But he played in 145 games in 2011 with 31 homers, 94 RBI and .301 average. He also was instrumental in the St. Louis Cardinals beating the Rangers in the World Series with a .423 average in 26 at-bats. So which Berkman the Rangers get in 2013 largely depends on his health. The plan is for him to be the primary designated hitter and play some games at first base. 3. Is Mitch Moreland an every day player? He will be if he can fare better against lefthanded pitchers. Moreland batted .281 with 12 home runs and 41 runs batted in against righthanders in 2012 but just .239 with three homers and nine RBI against lefties. When outfielder David Murphy finally proved he could hit all pitchers last year, he became the regular left-fielder. The same opportunity lies ahead for Moreland.

questions abound for rangers during 2013 spring training


i siana e u L TM

“Music to Your Mouth!” C

P oB oys

Home Of The


“Hot Sub Sandwich”

Darryl Briggs

4. Who will occupy the bench? The Rangers really had no bench in 2012, a big reason why Manager Ron Washington didn’t call on anyone there in September. Such overuse of the starters was one of the major reasons for the team’s late collapse. Unless rookies Jurickson Profar and Mike Olt have stellar spring trainings, they will start the season at Class AAA Round Rock. That would leave four players to earn Washington’s trust. One is Brandon Snyder, who played 40 games with the Rangers in 2012, hitting .277 with three homers and nine RBI. Two others would be rookies Leury Garcia and Yangervis Solarte. Don’t be surprised, however, if veteran Jeff Baker makes the team. The 31-year-old appeared in 83 games last year split between the Cubs, Tigers and Braves. His strength is hitting left-handers at a .296 career clip.

3/9 Birthday Celebration LUE’ISIANA PO BOYS owner Monte Lue Come and enjoy a night of celebrating his 52nd birthday 6:30 - 11:00 pm with Live Music, Great Food, Fun Times BYOB Event, Donations accepted for music entertainment 3/16 Gene’s Machine Jazz Band Enjoy Smooth Jazz Sounds 6:30 - 10:00 pm BYOB Event, $5 Cover Charge 3/23 J’agape Gospel Showcae (Open Mic Nite) Live Gospel music performed by local vocalist Christian comedian, and spoken word 6:30 - 10:30 pm / $5 Cover Charge 3/30th Good Friday Karaoke Night Come and perform your favorite songs Enjoy a fun and relaxing evening 7:00 - 9:00 pm/ BYOB Event, No Cover Charge

1104 South Elm Historic Downtown Square Carrollton – 75006 972-245-7900 • WWW.LUEISIANAPOBOYS.COM

5. Will the Gentry-Martin platoon work? The Rangers aren’t replacing Josh Hamilton with one player but two. Craig Gentry will play center field against left-handed pitchers and rookie Leonys Martin will play against righties. Their work-sharing arrangement should help the Rangers reinvigorate their running game and Gentry has proven he can hit lefties (.343 last year). But neither has been an every day player at this level. 6. How will the Rangers score runs? Napoli, Hamilton and Michael Young are gone permanently. Nelson Cruz might be out for an extended period depending on an investigation into his name appearing on a client list of a Florida clinic tied to performance enhancing drugs. Thus, the team will not strike as much fear into opposing pitchers. That means manufacturing runs through getting on base and returning to the aggressive, yet smart pressure offense Washington likes to use. 7. Synopsis All these questions involve the offense because that phase of the game had previously been so steady. Sure, there are plenty of pitching questions too, ones that will become clearer by the last exhibition game March 30 in San Antonio. But pay close attention to what happens at the plate between now and then. It will go a long way to determining how excited you should be in 2013.


March 2013

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 2


Annie Allison

Where are you from and how long have you been an Ice Girl? I am from Paradise, TX. This is my second season as an Ice Girl. Why did you decide to become an Ice Girl? I developed an interest in hockey while cheering for the Allen Americans, and decided to attend a prep class for the Ice Girls. Once I met the director and some of the girls, I knew it was a team that I wanted to be part of. Any perks about being an Ice Girl that you would like to share? We get to be at every Stars home game! Whether having a great view from the dance platform or being directly on the ice, it’s an awesome experience! Have you had any embarrassing moments on the ice? At my second game to clean the ice, one of the referees backed into me. I started to wobble, but, luckily, he turned around and helped me regain my balance. What do you do to relax when you’re away from the AAC? I love naps! I also watch WAY too much television. Dream vacation? A couple of weeks in Thailand or Italy. What’s your guilty pleasure? Definitely Double Stuf Oreos and McDonald’s. What’s your favorite part about being an Ice Girl? It’s hard to pick a one thing. Having the opportunity to learn to skate, work with skate coaches, perform for thousands of people, and make new friends on the squad are just a few of my favorites. Quickest way a guy can land in your doghouse? By telling me to “chill out” when I’m starting to get frustrated.



Photos courtesy: Dallas Stars-Crystal Clear Media, Tampa Bay Lightening-Scott Audette, LA Kings-Brandon Showers, Anaheim Mighty Ducks-Ken Pfiefer, New York Islanders-Gus Phillipas, Pittsburg Penguins get blitzed


VOL. 6 - ISSUE 2

March 2013





Photos courtesy: Washington Capitals-Kyle Christy. Edmonton Oilers, Nashville Predators-Jamie Lane


March 2013

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 2

“Gentlemen prefer blondes.” - Anita Loos

See more of Heather and others at Model: Heather Courtesy: Kevin get blitzed

Look, we got a QR-Code!


VOL. 6 - ISSUE 2

March 2013


The perfect guy would be one who could always make me smile, even if I don’t want to...


March 2013

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 2

I love the beach. It makes me feel so free. Something about the sun, sand, and water against your skin is just unbelievably sexy.

get blitzed

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 2

what steven’s craving

March 2013


By Steven Doyle -


his is the time of year when many are looking to freshen up their diets with seafood, be it by papal decree or for the mere fact that fish and other sea creatures are low in fat and high on flavor. In the past dozen months Dallas has seen an amazing emergence of seafood on the plates across the city, and a few truly wonderful restaurants have opened whose mainstay is fishes and loaves. This month we will share our favorite places for seafood and what is particularly delicious to order this time of year. Our favorite fishmonger in the Dallas area, and yes we have several, is Jon Alexis owner of TJ’s Seafood Market. Each day Alexis has fresh fish flown in from around the country. Alexis claims that more seafood passes through DFW Airport than any hub in the nation. Each day he receives in several shipments, but keeps his inventory short at both of his locations. This ensures that you will have the peak of freshness regardless when you walk into one of his shops. Alexis recently opened his second location on Oak Lawn where he expanded the TJ’s concept to include seating and a chef in the back of the house. Here you can order from a long list of fresh fish from his case, or select from the many daily specials he has listed on his big board. The lobster roll is one of the best Dallas has to offer. In addition to ordering fresh seafood at TJ’s, the staff can clue you in on how to repaper your own seafood at home. This includes rolling your own sushi.

Five Star Seafood In Dallas John Tesar has quite a reputation as being less than cordial, however the chef is actually entertaining and extreme on talent. You may recognize the name from the current season of

chin hair. This spot is currently BYOB and good for the whole family. While visiting 20 feet sop in next door to Goodfriend Beer Garden for one of the finest selections of brews in Dallas.

Top Chef where he antagonized the handful of twenty-something chefs on the Bravo TV series. Think what you will of that TV appearance but the man can cook. With all the new restaurants that have arrived on the scene in the past year, I would rate his restaurant Spoon as the very best Dallas has to offer. The restaurant prices are not necessarily for the faint of wallet, so when you check out the former mansion chef’s restaurant in Preston Center go for the 8-course chef’s tasting menu. This will allow you to experience Tesar’s cooking up close and personal. he will send out what he found the freshest that day, and the most amusing to his very well trained palate. Meanwhile, going east across the city you can experience extremely Steven Doyle good seafood at the latest fish find just off Garland Road at chef Marc Cassel’s restaurant, 20 feet. Nmed for how many feet of dogs Cassel owns, the long-time Dallas chef wanted to bring his take on affordable East Coast seafood to Dallas. This would include an amazing lobster roll, killer

Steven Doyle

fish and chips, clam chowder and many other standards that can’t be missed when enjoying a sea selection. You will know Cassel from his days at the original Green Room in Deep Ellum, Stephan Pyles, Dragonfly at ZaZa and many more top rated Dallas restaurants. Now you can interact with the top toque that looks a bit more like Col. Sanders these days with his very long and white

Blue Collar Seafood That You Will Love It is fantastic to get out of the house in your Sunday best and empty your wallet out to have that one great meal, but for the other days of the week you will want to go where the waiter eats. Look no further than Shuck and Jive with several locations across the city. Here you can sit in comfort while taking in your favorite sports and drawing up on the coldest beer in Dallas. Just in time for crawfish season, Shuck and Jive serves up a bounty of spicy crustaceans along with whole on the bone catfish. The gumbo at Shuck and Jive is also superb with its earthy roux and large chunks of fish and shrimp. In northwest Dallas there are two locations for very good seafood on the cheap at Seafood Shack. The original location is set in an abandoned Dairy Queen, and the second in the spiffy new digs on Northwest Highway near Lemmon Avenue. It might be best to brush up on your high school Spanish to order at the Shack, but if you can point you can eat. Fried fish and oysters reign supreme at Seafood Shack, but there are plenty of raw oysters (30 cents each on Tuesdays) and ceviche. The ceviche is actually pretty spectacular and served on a freshly fried tostada with slices of avocado. The bets spot in Dallas for crawfish? Nates in Addison. Order turbo style for an extra kick in the teeth.

Steven Doyle


March 2013

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 2

The Wild Turkey

By Greg Holman-


itting just a block east of I-35E, on the south side of Walnut Hill Lane, is an unassuming little log cabin. Since November 1978, the Wild Turkey has been a popular lunch and dinner destination, watering hole, sports bar, happy hour meeting place, and loyal hang-out for many Dallasites. In fact almost 80 percent of the Turkey’s diverse clientele are regulars, drawn back time and again by the great food, good value, strong drinks, and fun times. The Wild Turkey long has been known for its outstanding and extremely reasonably-priced steaks, seafood, fajitas, home-style specialties, burgers, and drinks, not to mention the relaxed, laid-back mountain cabin-like atmosphere, complete with polished wooden panels and exposed natural log beams, all right here in the



- AU


TOUR AT 11AM EVERY SATURDAY THE BIER FROM HERE FRESHEST GERMAN BIER IN TOWN • (972) 542-0705 495 McKinney Parkway • McKinney • Texas get blitzed

middle of Big-D. Sports memorabilia dot the walls including some Mann’s Chinese Theatrelike hand and footprints of Dallas Cowboy legends (you can see just how big these guys really are!), and Mavericks memorabilia, with their numerous TVs always showing your favorite sports team. The owners are happily celebrating the venue’s 35th anniversary this year, and always has had a passion for his restaurant and for the food served there. This clearly is evident in the Turkey’s hand-cut, choice rib eye and T-bone steaks, freshly shucked oysters on the halfshell, big peel-and-eat Gulf shrimp, Dungeness crab legs, street tacos (beef, chicken, fish, and shrimp), and all-you-can-eat weekend specials (shrimp, fajitas, or catfish). The simplicity of the menu is understated, and works quite well when quality ingredients and attention to detail are priorities. Everything here is made from scratch including all salad dressings, the

cocktail sauce, and some great chips and salsa. The lovely and attentive denim-shorts-clad servers, devoted to the satisfaction of their customers, are definitely easy on the eyes and serve up ice-cold pints of draft beer, longnecks, mixed drinks, and the signature 24-ounce Cuervo Grande Ritas, frozen or on the rocks. Wild Turkey lunch specials start at $5, and its more-than-ample happy hour runs seven days a week from 2-7:30 p.m. with $2.95 wells, $2.25 domestic pints (including Shiner), $3.35 U-call-its, and $4.25 house wine. You can enjoy 2 for $20 steak dinners, and daily specials including Thursday’s Ladies Night. Sundays feature a “2 for 1” dinner special, and for a little lighter fare, check out the awesome sandwiches, salads, and world-class gumbo. If you’d like a bit of action while you’re there, Wild Turkey features several pool tables, a Golden Tee golf game, Big Buck Hunter shooting game, 17 TVs, juke box, and Wi-Fi. A large covered patio with more than a dozen tables and a misting system is available for your al fresco dining pleasure. In September 2011, ownership opened a second Wild Turkey in Lewisville, which serves the same fine and extensive menu as the Dallas location. The Lewisville location hosts live bands from May to September and both locations have great catering options, including party trays, hot and cold dishes, a full entree selection, and fresh-made cobblers and pecan pies, for dine-in groups and meetings, or to take home. So, grab the guys (or gals), and get together over at the Wild Turkey for some great food, good fun, and a few drinks, but look out for the wild turkey lurking in the rafters. Make sure and tell them that Blitz sent you. Gobble Gobble! Contact Info: Dallas Location 2470 Walnut Hill Ln. Dallas Phone: (214) 351-5383 Lewisville Location 755 Hwy. 121 Lewisville Phone: (214) 488-5359

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 2

March 2013



March 2013

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 2


suit yourself

0-60 Test

By Dwayne Williams -

SLS AMG Black Series 3.5 seconds

Camaro SS 5.0 seconds

YOUR NEED FOR SPEED So you feel the need to get somewhere at about 196 miles per hour? Well if you have a wallet that Donald Trump would blush at then the Mercedes Benz SLS AMG Black Series might just be the yin to your 622 horsepower yang. The slimmer supercar sex machine is 154 pounds lighter than its base model counterpart and if Jessica Simpson has taught us anything it’s that everything is hotter when it loses the extra weight. Don’t let the gorgeous exterior fool you, the 6.2 liter V8 makes this beauty a man eater.

Dart Bus The Titanic sank faster

AMG ceramic two-piece brake rotors to help you stop and save wayward puppies on 635.

Roman Chariot Forget about it Black Series-exclusive Solar Beam paint to assist hot girls seeing your supercar across large parking lots.

Bang & Olufsen 11-Speaker Sound System is there to always have the party one button push away.

Style: reloaded

Damien Martin

I am a t-shirt and jeans type of guy and rarely head towards anything with buttons or creases. What is the easiest way to start becoming a better-dressed guy without losing myself in the process? Keep the jeans and layer the t-shirt. By simply adding a layer on top you can dress up virtually any jean and t-shirt combination. But before you start layering, make sure you have the right jeans and t-shirt. I’m a firm believer in ‘you get what you pay for,’ so invest in a great fitting pair of jeans and a super comfortable t-shirt. Don’t be afraid to be extremely thorough when you’re shopping. Go with a modern styled pair of jeans that fit you and your personality extremely well. Finish the look off with a shoe that fits the occasion. Regardless of your budget, invest the majority of it in your jeans and shoes. You will be glad you did. I am often invited to work-related parties and get-togethers, but I am never quite sure exactly what “business casual” is. What’s a good go-to look that can’t lose? Start with a great pair of slacks that fit your body type. Be sure to have them tailored to the right length with no more than a full break. Pair your slacks with a nice button down that compliment the slacks. If it’s a casual pair of cotton khakis, go with a classic oxford with a button down collar. For more of a crisp look, try a lightweight wool dress pant with a point collar shirt. Kick both these biz casual looks up a notch with an appropriate sports coat or blazer.

get blitzed

What is a great pair of dress shoes that will be stylish but still comfortable on my feet and my wallet? Before choosing that perfect dress shoe, determine whether you are a “lace up guy” or a “loafer guy.” If you like laces, then go for a classic like a saddle oxford or a wingtip style. But if you feel more confident in a loafer, slide into an updated penny loafer or modern tassel loafer. For comfort and durability, a leather upper with a minimalistic rubber bottom will do you well. You can find all the styles for less than a pair of Air Jordan’s without sacrificing quality. Recently I have been going on a lot of job interviews. What is a good shirt and tie combination for job seeking and which ones should I avoid? A winning interview shirt and tie combo should consist of a bright, solid-colored dress shirt. Light blue and white are a sure bet, but light gray, lavender, and patterned dress shirts are appropriate if you are interviewing for more fashionable positions. A complimentary tie in a solid or diagonal pattern will most likely get you a second interview. Above all, fit and quality will separate you from the rest. Look like you “tried to do it” instead of you “had to do it.” -Dwayne Williams Personal Stylist

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 2

Closure? No thanks! By posie pockets - How important is closure in relationships? One of the most infamous words that accompanies a break-up is closure. But is it really what it’s cracked up to be? In the past I’ve convinced myself I need one more kiss, one more touch, one more smile, one more dinner, one more bullshit ridden experience to get the closure I feel I’m deserved. Really all I wanted was “one more time” without feeling guilty. From a high school beau to a glorified live-in boyfriend, I’ve yearned for the closure time and again. Yearned to understand what piece of the relationship puzzle just didn’t fit. And that’s completely expected as it’s human nature. But when it comes down to it, a break-up means case closed and there’s no reason to roll around in the filth and disappointment of why it just didn’t work. Bust out that dancing dress, kick

funny business was going down. Well, any naked funny business anyway. I was a semivirtuous biddy who dawned a chastity belt and braces. Too much metal to enjoy a sex, oral or otherwise. So, we wrapped ourselves up in our puppy love for the first year. Then, it all went to hell in a hand basket when the little slime “cheated” on me during New Year’s Eve. I specifically remember we dry-humped a little that night. In fact, he had enjoyed it too much and there was evidence in his drawers. So forgive me for being pissed when he cheated on me with jizz in his jeans induced by his beloved teen girlfriend. I still remember the rumors bouncing off the halls in our high school about the teen heartthrob cheating on me with my loose, slightly frumpy friend. The premise of the cheat was he tickled her knockers and locked his lips on hers. I felt like a royal piece of shit and was mortified. I instantly broke it off. And of course, we got back together because I didn’t have the closure I needed. The following year of closure resulted in screaming matches, insecurities maximized, self-esteem whittled down to crumbs and alienation from a lot of people I loved. I am talking bat shit crazy stuff. I wanted to bust out a lie detector test to prove my boyfriend’s innocence. If I learned anything from Jerry Springer, if your relationship comes to the point where a polygraph test must be employed, you’ve got bigger issues. But I was a frail, ponytailed teen that was so deep in I couldn’t find my way out. Now, ten years later, I realize I wasn’t thirsting for true closure. I was simply yearning for the relationship to stay wide open. And you know what the funny thing is? He denied that he cheated on me Suddenly my corn flakes weren’t so good until he was blue in the face. Even though I had phone bills, witnesses up your heels and keep it moving. As the great and all the other dramatic evidence stacked saying goes, no use crying over spilled milk. In against him. Bottom line is he cheated on me this case, no use in crying over someone who’s and that was rude and shitty. Relationship should as good as gone. have been over. Case should have been closed. One peen I’ve never written about, partially I can only hope moving forward I don’t bust because it seems like light-years ago and his my back trying to get the closure I think I need. face never crosses my mind, is my ex-flame from No more shoulda, woulda, coulda’s. Best thing high school. He was the first boy who actually I learned is to get out as unscathed as possible thought I was pretty. He actually “liked” me and be the one who got away. Closure and for me. I wasn’t just the funny, chub-chub girl clarity will come as he/she disappears from your to him. I was the newly slender, high school daily thoughts. freshman and he was the upperclassman jock. He courted me for a few weeks and underneath the Midway lights of our tiny-town carnival, a first-time love was struck. This was back in my “True Love Waits” ring-wearing days; so don’t be thinking any

March 2013

Daylon Deon


Tells a new kind of war story

By arthur Bellfield - From the creative mind behind one of the most sought-after online gaming and entertainment communities around,, comes a book series like no other, “Day 8 New Human War!” Daylon Deon, author of this new short story series, has been a Microsoft MVP for the last eight years and behind some of the hottest media events in DFW. The Blitz recently spoke to him about the secret origins of his series, what inspired it, and much more! BW: What made you decide to write this short story series, and what real-world events do you think have inspired or shaped the story telling aspects of “Day 8 New Human War,” like say the over medicated society that’s been created in America? That’s a great question! I think initially what made me write the series was my love for fiction, movies, comics and all things that are strange. I didn’t look to any real world events although looking back at it, I can see how a few readers could make parallels to a few things going on today. BW: Without giving away to much of the plot, what is “Day 8 New Human War” about, and how would you break down each of the three parts to the story? “Day 8 New Human War” is about survival and family at its core. How would you react if the world was overrun with creatures you didn’t know were there and then you throw these zombie-like infections in it. It makes for some horror and thrills! The Derven family is tasked with bringing humanity back to a world that has lost every sense of it. Part 1 sets the mood for the primary conflict between the government and the infections they caused along with the single, most catastrophic event that mankind has ever seen – the Sun ruptures! It doesn’t get any more dangerous than that. Part 2 and Part 3 gets more into what makes the Derven family so special and who is ultimately the bad guy in all of this. The finale in Part 3 has an amazing sequence that I think will surprise a lot of the readers.

Daylon Deon

BW: “Day 9 New Human War” touches upon the government creating a “cure” for a problem that ends up being worse and dooms humanity. What made you want to cover that theme? Well the government is always screwing something up aren’t they? I wanted an entity that people could identify with. Everyone has their own story of how the government screwed them whether that be on a local level, state or federal one.. the government and its decision affect us all. They always say the decisions are in our best interest but as you read “Day 8” you’ll ask yourself if they really are. BW: The lead character is named Abraham Dervan and within your press release you make a point to state that people should remember his name, how would you describe this character in terms of where would you place him within the iconic equation of heroes? And, does this imply that you have a follow up to “Day 8 New Human War” in the works? Abraham is pretty much everyone’s hero. He’s on a path to be right up there with Captain America, Iron Man, Batman. He’s a leader by nature. So when he gets his abilities and powers, it’s very natural for him to step out and lead his brother and sister as well as everyone else around him. He doesn’t question what must be done he just does it. And he doesn’t take his abilities for granted. He’s the hero that you’d love to take out for drinks because you know he’d get you home safe and at the same time the hero who would kick anyone’s ass if they deserved it. I can’t say about any follow up but I know Abraham has many more stories to tell if the readers respond to him.


March 2013

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 2

march movies madness

By gary dowell - 1. Jack the Giant-Slayer: A re-telling of the classic fairy tale starring Nicholas Hoult (Warm Bodies) in the titular role, this has been a longtime passion project for director Bryan Singer (producer-director for the X-Men franchise). The trailers promise action and CGI effects galore, and the presence of screenwriter Christopher McQuarrie (Singer’s career-making The Usual Suspects) may make it something more than another Snow White and the Huntsman. Release Date: March 1 2. The Last Exorcism Part 2: It’s the lastest one yet! This obligatory sequel to the 2010 sleeper hit ditches the pseudo-documentary aesthetic and boasts Eli Roth (Cabin Fever, the Hostel films) as its executive producer. Still, PG13 horror flicks tend to be a mixed bag at best. Release Date: March 1

worrying about the music on my ipod By peter gerstenzang -


f you’re anything like me, let me first say that I’m terribly sorry. But it also means you spend lots of time listening to your iPod. And, if like me, you take a hard look at your wildlydiverse play-list, it sometimes looks like it was programmed by nine different people all with Multiple Personality Disorder. One minute, you’re listening to “Hallelujah” with Leonard Cohen sounding like a moose dying in Canada. Next, you’re yelling along with Dr. Dre, who’s raving about “living in correctional facilities.” Then the people on your bus all decide to get off at the next stop, some through the window. My point? For some of us, there comes a moment when eclectic taste stops seeming cool and betrays too many characters, all inside you. You think, ‘I’m not a music lover. I’m... Sybil!’ This epiphany struck me while listening last week. Eminem bleated about his terrible mom, which segued into Jackson Browne crooning about the Apocalypse, and I freaked. ‘It will not be long,’ I figured, ‘before I’m on antipsychotic meds and living in a group home.’ It was the kind of horrible epiphany you don’t want to have like realizing, ‘I can’t listen to Beyonce anymore since I found out she sang for Muammar Gaddafi.’ It’s possible this craziness existed years ago. I remember, as a kid, buying The Sex Pistols and Shaun Cassidy albums on the same day thinking they both totally rocked. My second thought? This indicated insanity, not wide-ranging tastes. Soon, I’d call myself God, gather a cult and be splashing pig’s blood on somebody’s kitchen walls. The following week? I bought “Heart of Glass” by Blondie, and Exile’s “I Wanna Kiss You All Over,” a song about sex so moronic, it made “Afternoon Delight” sound like it had get blitzed

been written by Masters and Johnson. I got the records home and found myself nauseous though in all fairness, that Exile song made many people feel that way. That’s why it was sold with Dramamine. Still, seeing these very-different discs next to each other didn’t upset me that much. Okay, so I liked The Clash and Leif Garrett. There weren’t laws against this at least not until Newt Gingrich came into power. But it was disturbing. Years went by, I got my iPod and my paranoia became so intense, I could’ve joined the Branch Davidians. I’d be on a train, listening. First came the soothing voice of Davy Jones, singing “Girl.” Next, “Dead Homiez” by Ice Cube, followed by The New York Dolls, The Spinners and Morrissey. I hyperventilated so hard, a woman gave me a paper bag to breathe into. I was so desperate, she even dumped her lunch out of it first. Somehow, I made it home. But for days this catshit-crazy taste of mine made me sit in a dark room, quietly, for days listening to nothing but The Byrds. A few weeks later, I had a good epiphany. As Public Enemy segued into Nick Drake, it hit me: I wasn’t quite ready for Thorazine yet. Because the unifying principle here was....soul, and honesty. From Shaun singing, “Hey Deanie” to a rapper talking about shooting you with his Nine, it all was the work of somebody who meant it. And that allowed me to finally relax. So, if you’re sitting next to me someday and one second I’m all, “187 to an undercover cop,” and the next, singing, “Waterloo sunset’s fine,” don’t move away. I may be crazy, but not dangerous. And these days that’s one very important distinction to make.

3. Oz the Great and Powerful 3D: Sam Raimi helms this prequel to L. Frank Baum’s original novels, starring James Franco as a smalltime circus magician of questionable character who winds up in the magical land of Oz, where he finds himself entangled with three witches (Michelle Williams, Mila Kunis, and Rachel Weisz). So far it looks sumptuous, exciting, and original – the exact opposite of the similar Alice in Wonderland 3D. Release Date: March 8 4. Dead Man Down: It’s Colin Farrell versus Terence Howard in this crime drama about a crime lord’s henchman who turns on his boss after being seduced by the daughter (the original Girl With a Dragon Tattoo’s Noomi Rapace) of a slain rival. Directed by Dragon Tattoo director Niels Arden Oplev, the premise sounds cliched but the pieces are in place for some good B-grade pulp. Release 4. Date: March 8 8.

5. The Call: Halle Berry stars as a 911 operator in a race against time and a killer from her own past to save a kidnapped teen (Abigail Breslin). Directed by Brad Anderson, who made serious waves with the haunting The Machinist, plans to dump this thriller in limited release were changed when test-screening scores came back higher than anticipated. Release Date: March 15 6. Olympus Has Fallen: It’s tough being the president of the United States these days, but it could be worse: action director Antoine Fuqua’s new thriller has the Prez (Aaron Eckhardt) taken hostage by a North Korean (Rick Yune) out to ignite a war. Enter 300’s Gerard Butler as a Secret Service agent to the rescue. One of two competing prez-in-peril movies this year (the other is White House Down by Roland Emmerich), it promises to be even bloodier than last year’s elections. Release Date: March 22 7. The Croods: An animated road trip movie about the first road trip ever when a family of cave dwellers is forced to relocate. From Chris Sanders, director of How to Train Your Dragon, the premise hooked our curiosity, and the cast – Nicolas Cage, Ryan Reynolds, Catherine Keener, Emma Stone, and Cloris Leachman – reeled us in. Release Date: March 22 8. G.I. Joe: Retaliation: Considering how suck-tastic the first movie was, there’s nowhere for this franchise to go but up. However, swapping out Channing Tatum for Dwayne Johnson and Bruce Willis, pushing back the release date by nine months to re-shoot and convert to 3-D, and some cheesy trailer footage suggests the real retaliation may be at the box office. Release Date: March 29



HARD 8 By Mark Beneventi

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 2

1. What’s the deal with the “No jerseys” dress code? Do you not want sports fans mixing with your alcoholics and coke heads? 2. Congratulations to the Rolling Stones on their Pearl anniversary. It has now been 30 years since they made any worthwhile music. 3. If God didn’t want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat? 4. Ever notice that if you re-arrange the letters in RETRO and VINTAGE you can spell WHITE TRASH – as in “That’s a nice leopard print sofa!”

Pisces February 19 – March 20 You’ll be the first one out of your company’s March Madness bracket. Your punishment will be to go to the grocery store and purchase 50 Shades of Grey and a cucumber. Aries March 21 – April 19 Later this week you’ll upload a new Facebook profile photo in which you’ll receive over 20 likes within an hour. Upon further review of the photo you’ll notice two guys in the background flipping you off. Taurus April 20 – May 20 You’ll soon discover a new apartment complex complete with awesome amenities! Food, snacks, entertainment, activities and transportation services if needed. In other words, welcome to the old folks home.

March 2013

5. Never drinking again! Last weekend I thought I hooked up with a slim little hard-body, only to wake up cuddling a parking meter. The good news is that I only spent $1.65 on her! 6. I just learned John Mellencamp’s boys are named Hud and Speck. Guess they’ll be changing their names faster than he did. Actually, Speck Cougar ain’t half bad. 7. In a recent poll, most Dallas girls defined their net worth as: “How much money my boyfriend has in his wallet.” 8. If this is really an “on demand” world, then I have some requests…

Gemini May 21 – June 21 You’ll get a little too carried away at this year’s St. Patrick’s Day parade and will be the first person arrested for public intoxication. Cancer June 22 – July 22 This month the company that you were fired from three years ago will merge with the company that you are currently employed with. Their first order of business will be to fire you again. Leo July 23 – August 22 You’ll finally get your chance to confront the bully who abused you in high school. It’ll be at your high school reunion and the result will not be in your favor.


atop a pile of car tires. She’d been accused of sorcery over the death of Ware’s 6-year-old son. TIRES’ WARRANTIES VOIDED World news services reported February 19, 2013, Papua, New Guinea, police had charged Janet Ware and Andrew Watea with murder, after Kepari Leniata, a 20-year-old mother, was stripped, tortured with a hot iron rod, doused with gasoline, then set fire sitting

FLYERS’ FREQUENT FORBIDDENS Some air travelers still don’t understand the restrictions applied to carry-on luggage since the 9/11 attack, according to the TSA Blog ( In one week alone, a list of confiscations included: 33 handguns, eight stun guns and a serrated wire garrote. Most outstanding: a live 40mm grenade, a live blasting cap, “seal bombs” and six pounds of black powder (with detonation cords and a timing fuse).

Virgo August 23 – September 22 Your dog will accidentally eat a box of paintballs that are made of a fish byproduct. Your house will smell of fish and have yellow dog turds everywhere as a result.

Sagittarius November 22 – December 21 You’ll soon earn the nickname “Sandman” by your co-workers. Not because you’re a badass villain but because your personality is so boring it puts everyone to sleep.

Libra September 23 – October 22 You’ll take “manscaping” to a new level when you shave your pubes to look like a handlebar mustache.

Capricorn December 22 – January 19 Your extremely overweight roommate has decided to become a nudist. To prepare for this new lifestyle he’ll do naked lunges in the living room for twenty minutes.

Scorpio October 23 – November 21 At your neighbor’s estate sale you’ll find many of the items that you’ve won on Ebay but never received.

Aquarius January 20 – February 18 Things will turn really weird when you discover that your “Uncle Jimmy” from your childhood wasn’t really your uncle. He was the man your mom was having an affair with.

Down With The Madness? POKES TOURNEY WATCH PARTY 3/21 & 3/22

All The Games On 26 Big Screens Happy Hour Prices ALL DAY Giveaways • Robust Energy Drink Girls • Shot Specials It’s A Party - All Fans Welcome COME HAVE A POKE & A SMILE SPORTS – DRINKS – FUN

14831 Midway Rd. Suite 101 Addison 75001 972-385-POKE (7653) • www.POKESPLACE.COM


March 2013

VOL. 6 - ISSUE 2

on Victory Park Lane. • Nicole Kwon (West Village) - Check out the custom-tailored button ups in the back of the store! • Original Octane (Knox Street) - They have a nice selection of denim here and offer custom tailoring and hemming while you wait, along with many other great pieces for men. •W  arehaus (West Village) - Check out their new line of custom ties carved out of wood, along with many other unique and trendy menswear finds. If you’re a baller on a budget, H&M at NorthPark is a less-expensive option. You can find everything from David Beckham’s line of boxers and briefs to sleek suiting options, clothing, footwear and accessories. Lastly, your new best friend is your tailor. Even the best clothes need altering. Your pants may need to be cuffed, hemmed or taken in at the waist. Wearing your pants too low can actually accentuate your beer belly, not hide it. Always, always buy clothes your actual size and have your tailor alter as needed.

By amber lafrance -

How to tackle men’s fashion this spring


ave you ever seen the movie Crazy Stupid Love? If not, you should probably check it out. In the movie, Ryan Gosling’s character “Miyagi’s” Steve Carell’s by teaching him how to get his groove back as he forces him to tag along and watch him swoon countless women every night. His character is effortlessly stylish and irresistible to women. Now wouldn’t you like to have that effect with the ladies too? With New York Fashion Week behind us and warm weather creeping around the corner, I thought I’d help you fellas out there with some fashion do’s and don’ts to swear by. First of all…if you want that cute girl in the bar to take a second look, there are a few things you should ditch in your wardrobe. “Are you the billionaire owner of Apple Computers?” - Gosling “No.” - Carell “Oh, ok. In that case, you’ve got no right to wear New Balance sneakers, ever.”

What you should get rid of: • Anything made by those tools at Affliction Clothing • Rhinestones (this includes bling-ed out back pockets). You’re not Miley Cyrus. • Light-colored jeans with whiskering •S  aggy or oversized clothing (this includes jeans, pants, shirts…anything!) • Dad jeans (if Jerry Seinfeld would wear them or if they give you a “Mom butt”) •Flat brim hats (unless you’re a rapper • Bowling or Hawaiian print shirts with short sleeves • Oversized suit jackets circa 1982 • Slacks with front pleating • T-shirts with offense or crude language or jokes

CultureHype Public Relations and Marketing 469.877.1533 get blitzed

You want to look polished and put together (even if you spent forty-five minutes creating your perfectly disheveled coif). Tips to live by: • Layer! • Always, always match your belt to your shoes • Keep your wallet thin and minimal • If you wear an undershirt, make sure no one can see it. • If you’re wearing fitted pants, go with briefs. What you should add to your wardrobe: • At least two pairs of clean, dark one-rinse jeans that fit you like a glove (you can pair these with everything from t-shirts to suit jackets and blazers). • A great leather jacket - Black goes with everything. If you can afford it, buy a brown option too. Moto style jackets are definitely in. • A wide range of long sleeved button up shirts - Plaid, patterned and solid. • At least two fitted suit jackets - Make sure you have navy blue and black options. • A classic, simple pair of sneakers (I’m a sucker for a man in Converse.) • A classy, sleek watch- You may have to splurge on this one and go stainless steel. • A universal pair of brown dress shoes - Try a light camel brown, but dark brown can be easier to pull off. Pair them with gray, khaki or navy. A lighter brown you can even pair with black pieces. • Military and armyinspired trends are big

right now. Buy a great army green jacket and wear it like you would a leather one. Local shops to check out for great wardrobe staples: • Centre (Mockingbird Station) - Hip, ultracool street wear, kicks and accessories. • Forty Five Ten (McKinney Ave.) - The New York Times called it “Dallas’ slickest boutique” offering “a chic mix of Euro and American style”. • The House of MacGregor (Settle’s Garage on Davis Street) - Local designer Cassandra MacGregor’s custom-made hats are the best in town. You can also pick them up at V.O.D.

Logo Design Advertising Graphic & Web Design Marketing Public Relations

Your Prescription Is Ready! 469.964.5980

Tailors that I trust: •A  rt Custom Tailor (E. Mockingbird in Lower Greenville) • Cho’s Tailor (West Village) •D  aniel Taylor Clothier (Ask for Fred Garcia, he’s been making Dallas dudes look sharp for 30 years.) Still clueless? Want to know whether or not you can wear sneakers with your suit? Feel free to ask me for style tips at @AmberLaFrance on Twitter.


VOL. 6 - ISSUE 2

March 2013


Big Mike’s

House of Glass

Stop By Today and See The Best Functional Glass Art In Texas!

Come In On Your Birthday For 1 Free Spin On The Birthday Wheel


101 E. Southwest Parkway, Lewisville, TX 75067

Big Mike’s House of Glass


A Milla Fans Can't Be Wrong.