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7 Things Every Man Should Know This Month

10th Annual Taste of the NFL is May 18

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Publisher Kelly G. Reed Editor-in-Chief C. Craig Patterson Creative Director Jette Stephens Cover Design Jette Stephens Photo Editor Darryl Briggs Staff Photographers Dominic Ceraldi, Bruce Chandler, Jarrod Fresquez, Jonah Gilmore, Steven Hendrix, Michael Kolch Rick Leal, Chuck Majors

Staff Writers Arthur Bellfield, Peter Gerstenzang, Ethan Harmon, Keysha Hogan, Frank LaCosta, Amber LaFrance, Will Martin, Mark Miller, Hannah Allen White Contributing Photographers/Artists: Gene Ambo, Saulo Cruz, Ilthy, Brian Mann, Jason McNeil, Showtime Media, Swanson Communications, Versus Contributing Writers: Jay Betsill, Gary Dowell, Andrew J. Hewett, Kendrick Johnson, Lance LeVan, Alan Sculley

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X-Men return to the screen on May 23 for Days of Future Past

5 The season premiere of American Ninja Warrior debuts May 27 on NBC

May 13 The Black Keys drop their new album Turn Blue

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4 The NFL Draft takes place May 8-10

2014

May 3-4 Suburbia Music Festival rolls into Plano

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May 4 is National Star Wars Day

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Floyd “Money” Mayweather Getting Ready For Marcos “El Chino” Maidana BY KENDRICK JOHNSON – @KENDRICKJOHNSO

Swanson Communications

Showtime Media

T

“I have only seen Maidana’s last fight against Broner. I’ve only watched the first six or seven rounds,” Mayweather said while doing standing sit-ups for the media. “I’ve also seen highlights of other fights, but not many. He’s a good fighter; I’m not taking him for granted. I don’t take anybody for granted.”

he mega-event dubbed “The One” set the record as the highest grossing pay-per-view event in television history with more than $150 million in revenue showed once again that Floyd “Money” Mayweather’s drawing power is unlike any other. Mayweather will be hard pressed to duplicate those numbers when he takes on World Boxing Association welterweight champion Marcos “El Chino” Maidana for “The Moment.” The 10-time world champion Mayweather (45-0, 26 KOs) held an open workout at a jam-packed Mayweather Boxing Club to formally discuss his 147-pound welterweight world title unification bout against dangerous, hard-hitting Maidana (34-3, 31 KOs) in the main event of “The Moment” on Saturday, May 3 at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas live on Showtime. “Maidana is a young, strong and tough competitor. He’s a guy that I can’t overlook,” a serious Mayweather said. “You can never take any fighter for granted because anything can happen.” Opening the pay-per-view event will be a super middleweight matchup between unbeaten J’Leon Love and former title challenger and Mexican Olympian Marco Antonio Periban of Mexico City, followed by a junior welterweight bout featuring exciting former three-division world champion Adrien “The Problem” Broner against the hard-hitting Californian Carlos Molina. The scintillating fight card, headlined by Mayweather vs. Maidana and Amir Khan vs. Luis Collazo, will be one of the best top-tobottom pay-per-view boxing events in many years.

A victory over Maidana by Mayweather would be his 26th over a fellow world champion while making him the unified welterweight world champion.

While jumping rope and putting on a nice athletic display of showmanship and pizzazz, the welterweight champ gives an impromptu analysis of where he is in training camp.

Tale of the Tape

“This was my eighth week out [in training camp], and we have had a tremendous training camp getting ready for Maidana,” Mayweather said. After being ringside to watch him dispose of his two opponents in 2013, former champions Robert “Ghost” Guerrero and Saul “Canelo” Alvarez, I had to ask the 2013 Ring Magazine Fighter of the Year: Is it realistic to think we can see an even better version of Mayweather against Maidana? “I’m a strong critic of myself. I’m really hard on myself,” Mayweather said. “Even with the Canelo fight and the fight before that fight, I wasn’t happy with my performance. I haven’t reached my peak yet. I know I can do better.”

Maidana will be the 46th opponent to try to solve the undefeated “May Vinci Code” known as “Money” Mayweather.

Mayweather may need to be at is best, if the version of Maidana which gave Broner the worst beating of his career in San Antonio arrives at the MGM Grand. Maidana dropped the previouslyunbeaten Broner in the second and eighth rounds and won by comfortable margins on all three judges scorecards, 115-110, 116-109, and 117-110 to take his WBA welterweight championship.

For all the boastful talk and perceived arrogance, which comes with the pound-for-pound king Mayweather, one doesn’t become the mega pay-per-view star by not applying your application to the sport at an all-time high level.

When pressed about the dangers the hardhitting Argentinian may present him, Mayweather was respectful towards than man who dismantled his protégé Broner.

“The first two events in our partnership with Floyd Mayweather were incredible and SHOWTIME PPV is proud to present the next chapter in Floyd’s remarkable career,” said Stephen Espinoza, executive vice president and general manager, SHOWTIME Sports.

Kendrick Johnson writes for a daily newspaper and is an independent sports television and print journalist who has covered championship boxing and UFC Fights, the NBA Finals and numerous interviews with some of the biggest names and personalities in sports. He can be reached at kendrick_e johnson@yahoo.com or on Twitter@kendrickjohnso

FLOYD MAYWEATHER Welterweight 37

MARCOS MAIDANA Welterweight AGE 30

Grand Rapids ORIGIN Margarita, Michigan Santa Fe, Argentina

5’8”

HEIGHT 5’7”

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Brian Mann

Q&A with CBS Sports golf analyst David Feherty BY JAY BETSILL – @THEFAMOUSJAY

TALKIN’ GOLF INJURIES WITH DR. BRIAN MANN BY JAY BETSILL – @THEFAMOUSJAY

S

ince golf is indeed a sport, injuries are a going to play part in the game. They have to be accounted for and properly treated not just to participate but to achieve maximum performance, whether it is for the weekend hacker or the Professional Golfers Association Tour.

“I’ve had so many people tell me that strength is not going to help you out on the putting green,” Dr. Mann said. “I counter with ‘isn’t it easier to make a two-foot putt than a 20-foot putt’ because you had a wedge in rather than a 7-iron because you hit it further off the tee in the first place?”

While many golfers experience lower back pain, legendary golfer Sam Snead said the most active thing in the golf swing is the feet. Dr. Brian M. Mann, a licensed chiropractor and Nike NG360 Golf Performance Specialist, starts from the ground up when working with golfers as he takes his table to the driving range and watches them hit balls prior to diagnosing the problem.

A common argument against golfers getting stronger is the loss of flexibility with the added bulk, but it is unlikely that most golfers would ever get that big in the first place. That also is where someone well-versed in both golf and fitness can be invaluable. PGA Tour player Camilo Villegas hits the gym as often as any pro athlete and his workout is tailored around mobility and flexibility yet yields the strength desired to acquire distance off the tee.

“I’ll ask the pro what he wants them to work on, watch them hit,” said Dr. Mann, whose office is located at Innergy Fitness in the Crescent in Uptown Dallas. “Then I’ll work on them for a little while, let them go back to hit and the results are pretty immediate.” With the Nike 360 Golf Performance program, Dr. Mann starts at the ankle because if the foundation of the swing is not working, it will affect the rest of the motion. For the golf swing, the ankle should be mobile, the knee should be stable and the hip should be mobile and if one of these is off, something else will have to make up for it. “Nine times out of 10 with surgery, you are trading pain for pain,” according to Dr. Mann. “What often times occurs is golfers will have surgery on their back and have pain in their knees. Then again, it is possible to tear an ACL due to limited mobility in the lower back. Obviously I won’t ignore the lower back, but with the Nike program, I start with the ankle to try and determine what is causing the pain.” Dr. Mann grew up just outside of Tulsa playing competitive golf and he received a full golf scholarship for his undergraduate studies. He was working at a golf course when he met a chiropractor and decided that was the direction he wanted to go and what he wanted to do for a living. In 2009, he moved to Dallas to obtain his Doctor of Chiropractic degree from Parker University. With a low score of 65 to his credit, Dr. Mann is very knowledgeable in the inner workings of the game of golf and the golf swing itself. Where many golf-specific physicians can treat common injuries, Dr. Mann provides preventative treatment while strengthening the body. SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

“For someone interested in a golf specific chiropractor, they should be looking for someone who actually has a background of playing competitive golf, and I don’t mean a four-am scramble with their buddies,” Dr. Mann said. “Say a 14-year-old kid comes in with some questions, if they did not grow up around the game, how can they possibly relate to what that kid is going through? It is very rare to find someone with that knowledge combined with the schooling in biomechanics and soft tissue to back it up.” While Dr. Mann spends most of his time in the Innergy Fitness office, it is the time spent at the exclusive Preston Trail Golf Club in North Dallas working with members on the driving range that helps him put his expertise on display and take players’ games to the next level. “One of my favorite quotes is ‘never tell a patient that you can fix anything and if you ever meet a doctor that does, get the hell out of there,’ so I tell my patients, I am not going to tell you that I can fix anything,” he said. “But one thing I will say is that I can help you hit a golf ball better. In fact, I’d be shocked if you did not notice the difference right away.” For further information on Dr. Brian Mann and his golf-specific chiropractic techniques: ‘Like’ the Innergy Fitness Facebook page, follow @InnergyFitness on Twitter and InnergyFitness.com. INNERGY FITNESS - 214-801-5104 200 Crescent Court, Suite 95 Dallas, TX 75201

David Feherty, the wellknown broadcaster seen on CBS Sports golf telecasts and the Golf Channel, has plenty of thoughts on the game of golf, Dallas-area phenom Jordan Spieth and the state of the HP Byron Nelson Championship. The Wednesday following Bubba Watson’s victory at the Masters, Feherty was the featured guest at the PwC SMU Athletic Forum’s AT&T Luncheon inside the massive Hilton Anatole hotel in Dallas. Prior to the luncheon, Feherty held court with local media members: Take us through Sunday at the Masters. Well you’re supposed to be impartial as a broadcaster, but I am not sure how anyone from this area could be impartial with Jordan (Spieth) and what he was doing. Anyone who knows him, he is such a great kid and without question, the best young player I have seen since Tiger Woods. I have seen a lot of great young players in the last 20 years, but he is special. He is the real thing, the whole package. The pressure of that event is unlike anything except the Ryder Cup and Jordan didn’t lose it, Bubba won the event. He played out of his skull, especially on the second nine.

Does Jordan Spieth have the same type of appeal as Tiger Woods to keep interest in the game at a high level? I don’t think I’ll ever see, actually I know I’ll never see another player like Tiger Woods. I don’t even think my children will see a player like Tiger Woods. The spell he had around the turn of the century was like watching a creature from another planet. The Byron Nelson had its run from 1995-2005 where it was one of the bigger sporting events in the world. Do you see it ever regaining that level of prominence? I think a change in the date would certainly help, there’s no question about that. The purse can be high, the players can be treated great and you can have all sorts of things in your favor, but if it isn’t a great golf course, you’re not going to get a great field. It’s as simple as that. They did a fantastic job on the TPC at the Four Seasons, but it simply couldn’t be converted into a Top 50-type course. With them building the new course, I would certainly have high hopes.


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Las Colinas with his ‘C’ game. Record crowds (estimated in the neighborhood of 100,000 on Saturday alone) filled the grounds of the course that was opened in 1983 as the 18-hole Las Colinas Sports Club morphed into the 36-hole TPC Four Seasons and Cottonwood Valley Golf Course complete with the Five Diamond Four Seasons Resort. The very next week, the PGA Tour traveled 30 minutes west to Colonial Country Club where ‘Tigermania’ went into a new stratosphere. Not only was Woods attempting to win his third tournament in a row, he was also reunited with Fuzzy Zoeller for the first time since the latter uttered insensitive remarks regarding Tiger’s menu for the Masters champions dinner. Once again, DFW was the place to be not only for golf, but all of pro sports.

THE TIGER WOODS EFFECT ON DFW’s PGA TOUR EVENTS

Zoeller was a non-factor, finishing 12 shots behind eventual winner David Frost. As expected, Woods was in the hunt until he found the water on No. 9 and made double bogey followed by another double on No. 17 that effectively ended his chances in Fort Worth. What the sold-out crowd was unaware of was that it for all intents and purposes ended Colonial’s chance of ever getting back the “Michael Jordan of Golf.”

No Woods. No Mickelson. No excitement.

BY JAY BETSILL – @THEFAMOUSJAY

A “

fter attempting to get ready for the Masters, and failing to make the necessary progress, I decided, in consultation with my doctors, to have this procedure done. I’d like to express my disappointment to the Augusta National membership, staff, volunteers and patrons that I will not be at the Masters. It’s a week that’s very special to me. It also looks like I’ll be forced to miss several upcoming tournaments to focus on my rehabilitation and getting healthy.” With those words, Tiger Woods was gone...again. The Professional Golfers Association Tour was without its most popular player and the sports world would be missing one of its biggest superstars for the foreseeable future. The television ratings for Saturday and Sunday of this year’s Masters were the worst since 1993. According to the Nielsen ratings, the average audience for the weekend coverage on CBS was 8.6 million viewers in 6.4 million homes and this is for one of the marquee events not only in golf, but in the world of sports in general. Not so coincidentally, it was the first time since 1994 that both Woods and Phil Mickelson were missing from a Masters weekend. While Woods was away with his injury, Mickelson could not take advantage of his rival’s absence as he missed the cut for the second time in 22 career appearances.

No Woods. No Mickelson. No excitement. In other words, the precise dilemma that many of the regular PGA Tour events deal with on an annual basis as they attempt to generate media interest, sell tickets, corporate tents and boxes and secure title sponsorships. Case in point: the two PGA Tour events based in Dallas-Fort Worth. The year was 1997 and North Texas was the epicenter of the golf world as 21-year-old Tiger Woods was heading to the GTE Byron Nelson Classic for his first tournament since taking a month off following his historic Masters victory. There was a media crush on the host site, the lavish Four Seasons Resort and Club in Las Colinas, to cover the event with its stacked field that included names like defending champion Phil Mickelson, four-time Nelson champion Tom Watson, Nick Faldo, Nick Price, Davis Love III and Ben Crenshaw. The only name that mattered was Tiger and he was there. Not only was he playing in the event, he won, taking home a firstplace check of $324,000 and in the process joined an illustrious list of champions that included Jack Nicklaus, Fred Couples, Mickelson, Price, Watson, Payne Stewart and Ernie Els. He also succeeded in alienating his peers by proclaiming how he had triumphed in

Tiger would annually return to the Nelson through 2005, opting to skip the Colonial for the lucrative appearance fees at the Deutsche Back-SAP Open TPC of Europe event. He would miss the Nelson to defend in Europe in 2003 and watch his string of 142 cuts made come to an end on the No. 18 green at Cottonwood Valley in 2005. Following the death of his father in May 2006, Tiger skipped the Nelson again. The tournament’s namesake passed away on Sept. 26, 2006 and, like most of the other top PGA Tour players, Woods has not returned to Las Colinas. The Colonial went as far as changing sponsors from MasterCard to Bank of America (Woods was under contract with American Express) to try and lure Tiger back to Cowtown, only to discover the harsh reality that it was unlikely he would ever return. The Nelson, also hurt by losing its prime date on the second weekend of May to The PLAYERS Championship, has had to survive without the world’s No.1 player and is planning a change of venue in to the new Trinity Forest Course when its contract with TPC ends in 2018. The purses for both events— aided by the Tiger Woods-driven TV deals— continue to offer a first prize in excess of $1.15 million. Will a new date for either tournament possibly bring Tiger back to North Texas? Or perhaps could the emergence of Dallas native Jordan Spieth as the game’s next big star be exactly what the Nelson and Colonial need to escape the shadow Tiger’s absence lurking over both events like a black cloud of disapproval. Much like Tiger’s latest extended break, only time will tell.

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UFC 173 Preview BY LANCE LEVAN – @LANCELEVAN1

( C) Renan “The Baron” Barao (34-1-0, 1NC) vs. (#5) TJ “The Viper” Dillashaw (10-2-0) This is a bantamweight fight for the title. Everyone knows Barao and his record speaks volumes about this fighter. He has 33 straight fights without a loss. The last time he lost a fight was in 2005. He is a great striker and an accomplished Brazilian Jiu Jitsu black belt. Dillashaw has a wrestling background. He’s only been in the UFC for a few years, but has a decent record. I’m not really sure how this fight got matched up. I have seen both of these guys fight, and I honestly do not think that Dillashaw is in the same league as Barao. Of course Dillashaw is dangerous and with the right circumstances, he could pull off the win. But I think it is highly unlikely. Barao has three times as many fights as Dillashaw. It is difficult to overcome that much experience. My prediction: Barao via submission in the second round. (#5) Daniel “DC” Cormier (14-0-0) vs. (#6) Dan “Hendo” Henderson (30-11-0) This is not a title fight but it is going to be a fight to watch at light heavyweight. Cormier is undefeated and has defeated some huge names in MMA. And what can I say about Hendo. He’s “DAN HENDERSON.” He’s been fighting for a long time and also has fought a ton of top-level fighters. Both of these guys are former Olympic wrestlers. Both of these guys like to throw hands. On paper, they look pretty even…but just like all of the close fights…it is going to come down to “heart.” I think both of these fighters have a ton of heart...but I think Hendo has a slight advantage in this department. I hope this fight comes down to grappling and winds up on the mat, but I have a nasty feeling that this one is going to be the fight of the night and it’s going to be decided with their fists. My prediction: Hendo wins this fight via TKO in the third.

(#1) Robbie “Ruthless” Lawler (22-10-0, 1NC) vs. (#5) Jake “The Juggernaut” Ellenberger (29-7-0) This welterweight fight is going to be extremely entertaining. Lawler is coming off of a loss to Johny Hendricks for the championship title. He is going to have something to prove. Ellenberger hasn’t been in the octagon since July 2013 and it ended with a loss to Rory MacDonald. Both fighters are going to want to come out and make a huge statement. Both of them are going to want to prove to the UFC that they still belong on the roster. I don’t think that either of these fighters are in jeopardy of losing their contract…but why take the risk? They are going to come out swinging and I don’t think that either of them is going to hold back for one second of this fight. Since they both like to brawl…I expect this fight to be violent. However, in the end…there can be only one. My prediction: Ellenberger wins by unanimous decision.

Disagree with me? Let me know via twitter @BlitzWeekly and we’ll see who has better picks the night of the fights.

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Zilla Thrillers BY GARY DOWELL – WWW.MOVIEINK.NET

odzilla easily is the greatest cinematic creation ever. Consider the facts in evidence: He’s the size of a skyscraper, breathes atomic fire, has alternately stomped on and/or protected many of the world’s major cities, is the subject of a song by the Blue Öyster Cult, and has appeared in 29 feature films, with a new one hitting theaters this month. That last detail has us geeking out over here at Movie NIght. Like many of you, we came of age in the 80s, a time when many Godzilla flicks popped up like weeds in the hinterlands of UHF creature features. Big G’s return to the screen after a 10year hiatus has us giddy with anticipation; if, like us, you’re planning on re-watching some of the earlier movies, here’s a few of the classics, as well as a few of the duds:

The Good Gojira/Godzilla, King of the Monsters (1954/1956) Not only is Big G’s first feature film essential viewing for the series, it’s also one of the finest monster movies of the 1950s Atomic Era. This daikaiju classic introduced Godzilla as a force of nature, a walking, pitiless natural disaster, and an unsubtle allegory for Japan’s scarred post-war psyche. It holds up quite well after 60 years, thanks to its surprising gravitas. Footage of Raymond Burr as a reporter was

for life. This being only the third entry in the series (and the first filmed in color), Godzilla is still portrayed in a villainous light, with Kong as the hero expanded in proportion to stop his rampage. A ridiculous, lengthy battle ensues. The persistent rumor of an alternate “Godzilla wins” ending is, alas, merely an urban legend. Mothra vs. Godzilla (1964) One of the last great entries in Japan’s Showa-era series before it made an ill-fated shift into kid-oriented fare in the late 60s/ early 70s, this classic put the Not-So-Jolly Grey Giant against Mothra, a popular character in her own right (she even gets top billing!) in a confrontation that was the Toho Company’s first series crossover film. Still, the only aspect anyone seems to remember are the tiny singing twin fairy chicks. Destroy All Monsters (1968) A big-budget battle royale intended to cap the original series, this allout battle royale featured fan favorites Godzilla, Mothra, Rodan, and Ghidorah, and several others in an epic brawl – first against each other, then as mind-controlled slaves trashing the world’s major cities, then as heroes ganging up on the perennially evil Ghidorah. Throw in worldconquering alien spacewomen from the moon and “classic” doesn’t even begin to describe it. Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla (1974) Godzilla met his most dangerous opponent ever – and very nearly his demise— in this entry, in the form of an evil twin with a twist: a giant robot version of himself that was a walking arsenal. An early giant monster vs. giant robot flick that prefigures Pacific Rim by four decades, it’s loopy fun with sci-fi/espionage action. There’s even a Planet of the Apes-inspired plot twist.

The Bad

edited into the Americanized Versus version released in 1956. The Angelika will screen a restored print of the original beginning May 9; do yourself a favor and see it if you haven’t already. King Kong vs. Godzilla (1962) This was the Foreman vs. Ali of giant monster throwdowns, a dream come true for geeky adolescents and often the Godzilla flick that hooked many viewers SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

Son of Godzilla (1967) If there’s one thing we learned from Superman Returns it’s that nobody wants to see a mega-powerful hero tied down by snot-nosed kids. It is almost fascinating (and sad) to see Godzilla portrayed as the kaiju equivalent of a deadbeat dad, but ultimately this crapfest is a mind-numbing bore. Strictly for kids under 5 years of age with bad taste. Godzilla (1998) The worst Godzilla movie ever made barely counts as a Godzilla movie at all. Created by Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich (Stargate, The Day After Tomorrow, and 2012), it featured a smaller, weaker Godzilla doing battle with Matthew Broderick (seriously). Loud, stupid, and dull, it was so reviled that when Toho gave the creature a cameo in Godzilla: Final Wars (2004) it was given roughly 10 seconds of screen time before being vaporized by the one, true Big G.

Liner Notes Jenny Simon’s ‘Lost’ Album

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BY PETER GERSTENZANG – PZANG7@OPTONLINE.NET

have mixed feelings about writing the liner notes for the finally-issued debut by the late Jenny Simon. Sure, I produced it. But, back in 1972, her label said the disc was appalling. And that although Jenny and I belonged in a mental hospital, we should still be released before the album was. As for my writing? I’m not the world’s most literate man. Sure, I just finished reading a book about farming. But when you get to the middle, little plastic cows pop up and moo. Still, Strange Brown Rainbows’ reputation has only grown since Jenny’s fatal overdose. So I feel much better now. Bellevue likes to say it was those shock treatments. But it’s really the music. Jenny was in bad shape during the recording. Her boyfriend, J. D. Songman, was having an affair and she was using drugs. She’d put up a brave front, smile and say, “It’s cool man, I’ve found Jesus.” But minutes later cry out, “Oops, I just lost him again.” Still, Jenny, however desolate, wrote her best songs for these sessions. Several in the studio. Over the years, various session players have complained that Jenny’s charts were indecipherable. But some anecdotes are apocryphal. Bassist Karen Clay did not say about one, ‘Hey, these are the instructions for Yahtzee!’ Untrue. It was for Chutes and Ladders. Although often stoned, Jenny cut 10 great tracks for the record. My favorite is the bleak, Night Is Just Day With The Plug Pulled Out. With that bridge featuring five water glasses played in unison. The worst part was, I had to find five waiters to play them. Sadder, was the tune Flowers Without Names. Which would’ve been longer, if Jenny knew what they were actually called. Years ahead of House Music, she also did a dance track, Funky, But. Until Jenny found out her boyfriend was two-timing her. Which prompted her to rename it, Castration Complex. It seemed to be about J.D. But, if any guys had to walk past Jenny that week, they kept their hands over their crotches. When we turned the record in, the label called it “execrable” and “irremediable.” We were thrilled. Until we looked the words up. Jenny then fell apart completely. She started seeing J.D. again and her heroin use intensified. It didn’t help that one day, sitting with her boyfriend, she missed her arm with the needle and jabbed it into J.D.’s instead-killing him instantly. Within months, she followed suit. Strange Brown Rainbows was forgotten, until ‘Flowers’ was used in a feminine hygiene commercial. Which finally forced the album’s release. Of course, now I’m inundated with production offers. Which I’ll get to this summer, when I get two weeks off from Raymour and Flanigan. The final stamp of approval? Fox News, even knowing she’s dead, just accused Jenny Simon of being “anti-capitalist.” Wherever she is, I hope she hears this. And 40 years after recording a masterpiece? Jenny Simon has finally made it.


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took full advantage of being able to play the new songs, see how they developed and then revisit them in the studio. “There are several songs on this that we scrapped completely, (sometimes) four versions of the songs before we finally hit it on the fifth version,” he said. “So we’d be working and tweaking and doing all of this, and then go ‘Nah, let’s just trash it and start over.’ So having the flexibility to do that, that’s really, really awesome.” With the REV album having been released in January, the group has gotten right to work touring behind the CD (which by the way, is the group’s first release under a new deal with Victory Records). But that doesn’t mean fans will be inundated with new tunes during the Reverend Horton Heat’s live set when the band returns to its home base for a May 3 appearance at the Suburbia Music Festival in Plano.

Reverend Horton Heat BY ALAN SCULLEY – ALANLASTWORD@GMAIL.COM

Fans of the Reverend Horton Heat haven’t exactly been flooded with new music from the band lately. After cranking out eight studio albums over the first 13 years of a recording career that began with the 1990 release Smoke ‘em If You Got ‘em, the group’s new CD, REV, marks only its second studio release from the Dallas-based group since 2004. But frontman Jim “The Reverend” Heath figures people haven’t been bothered by the reduced musical output. “When we were coming out with albums every two years, it really kind of pissed off our fans,” Heath said in a recent phone interview. “It was just too much, too much coming at them. And it always worked out that about every time we released a new album that was right at the exact same time they were finally starting to get and request the songs from the previous album. “After Revival it was like we better slow down on this,” he said. “And there were some other life issues that happened all in that time and it just kind of made sense to hold off on new albums for awhile.”

New album, new tour, same awesome sound from Reverend Horton Heat leader Jim Heath (far left) drummer Scott Churilla and bassist Jimbo Wallace. In a sense, though, it’s been even longer since fans have gotten a fresh batch of prototypical Reverend Horton Heat songs. The group’s previous album, 2009’s Laughin’ & Cryin’ with the Reverend Horton Heat, was a departure from the group’s signature high octane roots rock sound, as it spotlighted the group’s country influence.

“Going back to the Laughin’ and Cryin’, I really wanted to make a straight country album,” Heath said. “Every album that we’ve ever had has had a country song on it, and this one (REV) kind of does, too....But it (Laughin’ and Cryin’) was fun to do. It didn’t turn out to be a straight country album necessarily, but it leans very much country.” Heath, though, admits that Laughin’ and Cryin’ didn’t register with some of the group’s fans, and having scratched the country itch with “Laughin’ and Cryin’,’ it became apparent that a return to the familiar rocking sound would be the next move. “It (Laughin’ and Cryin’) almost just kind of didn’t do as much good, and it kind of seemed like we haven’t had an album that had some good fast rock tunes since Revival, Heath said, mentioning the group’s 2004 album. “So it just made sense that we would get to some more harder edged, fast tempo, rocking stuff.” And that’s just what the REV album delivers. As is usually the case with Reverend Horton Heat albums, rockabilly rooted songs figure prominently in the mix - as Smell Of Gasoline, Spooky Boots and Scenery Going By all fueled by the full-throttle swing generated by drummer Scott Churilla. A healthy dose of surf rock gets mixed with a cheesy horror motif on the largely instrumental tune, Zombie Dumb. On Never Gonna Stop It and Let Me Teach You How To Eat the

Gene Ambo

Reverend Horton Heat puts more of a punk accent on its otherwise early rock-influenced sound. The country influence, meanwhile, pops up on Hardscrabble Woman and Longest Gonest Man, although the latter tune in particular is as frisky as about any song on the CD. If the sound and style of REV feels familiar to fans, one thing that was different was the recording process itself. Many of the group’s 10 previous albums were recorded quickly sometimes over the span of just a few days. But singer/guitarist Heath and his bandmates, bassist Jimbo Wallace and drummer Churilla, took their time in making REV. What contributed to that change in methods was that after making Laughin’ and Cryin,’ the group put together its own recording studio/rehearsal space. This brought a new level of freedom to the recording process. “Some of it (REV) was recorded in a commercial studio, but most of this album was recorded at our rehearsal space,” said Heath, who produced REV. “The hard thing about having a producer in an expensive studio, is that you have five...10 days a month, you have limited time and that’s it. So we’ll go in there and do all of those songs, and then we’ll be out there playing them (live) and then a few months later listen back to what we did and go ‘Oh God, we want to re-record the whole thing.’ “And it’s too late,” he explained. “You’ve already blown $50,000 or something crazy on that commercial studio-slash-producer deal, and what’s really important, the most important thing at that point to us, is getting the chance to go back in and re-record it the way we are playing it since we’re playing it better.” With its own studio, the Reverend Horton Heat didn’t get locked into a single recording session with a tight deadline. And Heath said the trio

“We’ll be playing new songs off of the new album,” Heath said. “But gosh, it gets harder and harder the more albums you come out with, the harder it is to get the new stuff in. People pay their ticket price for the live show to hear a lot of our standard stuff. But we’re definitely going to try (to include new songs). We’ve got three or four of them that work really well live. So there’s going to be at least four, probably what we’ll have to do is we’ll have to alternate them on different nights.” What fans won’t hear during the live show is much in the way of ballads - no surprise for a group that is known to play one of the most energetic shows of any rock band. Still Heath said the group has calmed down a bit in a few ways over nearly 25 years of touring. “We still play a lot of fast, high energy songs,” he said. “Our slow songs don’t usually make the set. We’re usually going, pile driving from one fast song into another to keep the crowd energetic and going. “That’s kind of what we do. That being said, it has changed. In the early years, around the time when Jimbo first joined the band (around the time...in 1989), we would always do a bunch of crazy stuff. I mean, we were climbing up on scaffolding, on top of speaker boxes, jumping off into the crowd. We were walking on the bar and jumping off it, always jumping and falling and hurting ourselves. We don’t do that kind of zaniness anymore, but we still have our general zaniness.”

“When we were coming out with albums every two years, it really kind of pissed off our fans.” WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM


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Angel

Model: テ]gel Hermoso Flor Delicada with Gilda Villela / Jason McNeil Photography SMARTER, SHARPER MEN


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Guide 2 G ood Eats

WE COULD ARGUE

TEX-MEX

VS. MORE

The Margaritas are Good But the Food is Better BY HANNAH ALLEN WHITE – COMMENTS@BLITZWEEKLY.COM argaritas are important. Period. We’ve all had those days where happy hour is just not going to be happy without an ice cold glass of top shelf tequila, Grand Mariner and that rim of salt that’s just as noticeable as the rings on Saturn. There is no substitute for a killer margarita when that’s what you’ve got your heart set on and there are places to get a stout one made with all kinds of creative ingredients. That’s not what this piece is about, though. This piece is about the inherent need everyone goes absolutely overboard to satisfy when the Tex-Mex craving hits and hits hard. Like other, ahem, “needs” every human with a pulse has this need that is very real and not to be trifled with. You always can go the Corona route if need be but can you really sacrifice good Tex-Mex in the name of booze if you are, in fact starving for south of the border sustenance? I say no. Giant corporate versions of Mexican cuisine which are just the other side of Taco Bell will not satiate your needs. If you’ve lived in Texas for more than a week you’re probably well aware. We’ve found that smaller regional chains carry the charm of free-standing establishments but maintain a consistency that’s helpful to their customer base. You don’t have to look to hard too find several places that meet those criteria all over the Metroplex. At the top of that list is Cantina Laredo. We could argue Tex-Mex vs. more region-based Mexican cuisine but that would be a waste of space since it’s all of our favorite things about both culinary traditions in the same place. From start to finish this restaurant (with several area locations and one in London!) is perfect for any occasion where you might need to put food in your mouth. It’s inventive, fresh and sexy. Cantina Laredo has a pretty serious selection of margarita and margaritaesque beverages but it doesn’t enhance the meal. If you find yourself in the northern expanses of the Metroplex opt for Anamia’s, a family-owned and operated group of restaurants where you’re treated like one of the family. As corny as that sounds it’s really true. In a new take on tried and true Tex-Mex SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

Anamia’s forgoes the average garish bright colors and iffy lighting associated with small chains. Warm tones and modern lines manage to make favorite dishes – some named after family members and loyal customers – comforting as opposed to just delicious. Comforting comes from more than just the décor, though, and El Paisa holds a special place where that’s concerned. The place serves this hearty pork and hominy soup called Pozole on weekends and a bad-ass Mexican version of a sandwich called a Torta (bolillio bread with beans right on there with everything else) in brunch and lunch/dinner varieties. Of course there’s the usual suspects: tacos, enchiladas, nachos etc., and they’re all exceptional. And then there is Gloria’s. Billed as a Latin establishment it does have a big chunk of its menu dedicated to Tex-Mex deliciousness. You can order crazy things like papusas and quail but the Chimichanga with chicken and chili sauce is better than you might believe. The two-story location in the Bishop Arts district is our favorite with soft lighting and dark colors which make it feel chic and exclusive and consequently a fantastic place for a date. Sure there are lot of tequila based drink options but if you’re looking for a buzz the mojitos seem to be more complimentary to the atmosphere. Over on Elm Street just on the outskirts of the now thriving music and nightlife scene a few doors away sits Pepe’s & Mito’s. This place is an amazing break from the competitive main stretch of Deep Ellum where originality can either propel a business to greatness or miss the mark entirely. At Pepe’s & Mito’s there’s an amazing balance of both. The Mexican slant on a traditional shrimp cocktail is so clever it’s a wonder every Tex-Mex place on this list doesn’t have a copy cat version and the vegetable fajitas (made with sauteed mushrooms, chayote squash, potatoes, carrots, and green bell peppers) are worth even the most devout carnivore’s attention. While the undoubted favorite are the chipotle enchiladas served with a surprising chipotle wine sauce everything on the menu hits a proverbial home run. While it’s always worth trying the house margarita at any establishment it’s good not to get completely boxed in by the alcohol options. Sometimes a Mexican Coke or fountain Coca-Cola with a lemon will do the trick just as deftly when you’re trying to squelch the ole’ Tex-Mex craving. If you’ve absolutely gotta have the tequila, though and you find yourself in a place with a full bar get a little frisky and ask for a Salted Chihuahua – the margarita’s sexy sister made with tequila, triple sec and grapefruit juice in place of sweet and sour. It’ll do the trick if the house sweet n’ sour is lacking. Just remember it’s OK to go just for the food.

REGIONBASED MEXICAN CUISINE

B U T T H AT WOULD BE A WASTE OF SPACE


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The Food of My People Best Place to Try Something New BY HANNAH ALLEN WHITE – COMMENTS@BLITZWEEKLY.COM

T

here’s lots of talk about ethnic food and its place in our melting pot of a country. The homogenization of so many places presents muddled versions of the real deal sometimes so much so that it’s unrecognizable to authentic transplants or visitors. Of all of these bastardizations I feel I might be lucky. As my genealogy is almost exclusively limited to the British Isles it seems the fare found in gastro pubs here in the States doesn’t stray too far, as a general rule, from those charming little roadside institutions found in the homeland. My dad tells a story about how he was parked outside a bank drive-through situated next to a Long John Silvers on a rainy day in Oak Cliff when memories of England started washing over him, almost out of nowhere. He hadn’t been back to the U.K. in over a decade but the smells of rain and concrete with fish frying nearby struck a subconscious nerve that he couldn’t shake for days. He talked about eating fish and chips in misty weather while sitting on the backs of park benches in his stylish 70s wool suit to avoid the ever-accumulating puddles on the seats, or about the walls along the village roads of Northern England he would walk past always having the startling realization that they’d been built before Christopher Columbus had even discovered the country of his birth. On days like these the homes of the locals who have weathered the winters in houses which are sometimes hundreds of years old hold tea and photographs and shepherds pie with the family crest traced into the mashed potatoes on top. Winter in North Texas really is just a version of year-round weather in that part of the

world: chilly, windy and soaking wet. Here we have a limited time to take advantage of the weather. Even though we like to complain about plummeting temperatures and freezing precipitation the time should be seized. On a day like that there is absolutely nothing as heartening as a black and tan in a dim room full of dark wood. Luckily for me there are a few particular places in Dallas that make me feel right at home in that regard. While each has its own charms the fish and chips are accompanied by as many slugs of malt vinegar as need be and Yorkshire Puddings are a given or, at least, available on request. I couldn’t ask for more. The Londoner on Lower Greenville has my favorite fish and chips – wrapped in newsprint before they slap it on the plate – with an added luxury in the form of tarter sauce. Idle Rich in Uptown has the most amazing steamed mussels in beer broth and chips an inch thick. The Staggering Irishman in far north Dallas has bangers and mash, a dish comprised of sausages (called bangers over there) smothered in red onion gravy and a giant pile of mashed potatoes. And Trinity Hall at Mockingbird Station has an English breakfast on the weekend that keeps me full for a week. If I find myself there for dinner rather than weekend brunch the real star of the menu is the Irish Stew. Being from the States and being southern there are lots of familiar elements to the hearty comfort food you’ll find in a pub: hearty offerings that manage to put you at ease. The only thing a purist will ask as you swagger on up to the bar is not to ask for a “car bomb,” the traditional Irish whiskey shot dropped into a pint of stout but a “peacemaker.”

I

Ilthy

BY HANNAH ALLEN WHITE – COMMENTS@BLITZWEEKLY.COM

n a vast metropolis such as Dallas-Fort Worth, it still is sometimes possible to get stuck in a food rut. You might find yourself sticking to the same tried and true neighborhood haunts because you like what you like. Don’t we all? But sometimes the urge to go on an adventure takes over and the funds to take an exotic vacation just aren’t available. In that case, a new restaurant with some good company is a valid option since such an excursion can cure even the most restless soul. With such a broad definition in mind we’ve chosen to highlight a few of our favorite places to do just that by trying something totally new. Ranging from sugary donuts to surprising vegan these places are worth planning a trip around.

Hypnotic Donuts

It seems presumptuous to try and improve upon perfection but this little shop that could is doing just that. With wild creations like The Evil Elvis (yeast raised donut with peanut butter, bananas and bacon) to Vampire Weekend (yeast raised long john filled with chocolate cayenne mousse and topped with horchata icing) to a strawberry iced donut with a ration of sprinkles, a regular shop would use these for three donuts. Oak Cliff Coffee Roasters self-serve is on hand for a bold wake-up to match that spectacular sugar rush.

LA Burger

East meets West but it’s so much more. To be super specific it’s the Metroplex nod to the Los Angeles Mexican-Korean food truck scene. Sounds weird but it’s super legit. Bulgogi burgers topped with kimchi, classic ballpark favorites turned into the Seoul Dog and Asian Tacos. With locations in Irving and Carrollton it should be on the top of anyone’s must-try list.

Mellow Mushroom

Sure there are beer gardens everywhere but this place has a beer club. Right off the bat there’s your new thing but then you start looking at the menu and realize you’re not going to be able to resist pizzas with names like The Magical Mystery Tour and Kosmic Karma.

The Anvil Pub

This new approach to traditional pub favorites comes with the radical idea of a greaseless

kitchen and a few vegan options that are tremendously enjoyable. To really try something new show up on Sundays for the extensive and creative bloody mary bar or come at night and ask your server to recommend a good whiskey, scotch or bourbon from the almost limitless inventory. If you’re a teetotaler or not in a drinking mood please, oh please, try the Hammer Time: the famously-indulgent mac and cheese mixed with VA VA Va Vegan Chili or the Texas Sage Pizza. Even if you opt for an oldie but a goody like the Reuben Sandwich you’ll still be trying something new since all the cooking practices are green!

Kalachandji’s

Named after the supreme moon-faced Indian personality worshiped by thousands of Hare Krishnas, Kalachandji has an impressive temple built in his honor right here in a Big D neighborhood. But if you’re not shopping for a new religion you’re in luck since there is a buffetstyle restaurant with an incredible atrium dining room built right off of the very colorful sanctuary. You always can expect amazing Indian food: an amazing soup called Dal, jasmine rice, exotic versions of lasagna and enchiladas, homemade breads, tamarind tea and a rosy rice pudding called kheer. As is the Hare Krishna tradition all the offerings are vegetarian. The bonus to the peaceful vibes is the store next to the buffet where you can buy all kinds of gorgeous Hindu knick knacks, charms, incense and clothing.

It’s important to expand our horizons as people. It’s convenient to do it through food. In this day and time there are so many tools to help us do that, i.e. social media and food apps on smart phones there really is no excuse not to. So, treat yourself to something new especially on a lazy day off and see where the experience takes you. It might spark a new interest or reveal cool things in the area depending on where you are. In any case, get out there and taste! WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM


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BY HANNAH ALLEN WHITE – COMMENTS@BLITZWEEKLY.COM

t seems like this category pops up on any food list. That’s because you’re reading it now while presumably sober so, we’re providing you with a short list, advising you to commit these establishments to memory and telling you exactly what it is you need to order to get your shit together and get on with your day. We don’t know about you but tacos always seem to hit the spot. With their growing popularity and ever-inventive incarnations, artisan tacos almost are surpassing the traditional egg-and-cheese-with-red-salsa variety. Good 2 Go Taco near White Rock Lake is ahead of the curve on this one since it features a taco called The Hangover Helper. A hand-made flour tortilla filled with smashed taters, house-made chorizo and cheddar cheese served with a side of peppery salsa verde. Filling on so many levels. Good 2 Go also shares space with an espresso bar so, by the time you’re halfway through with a double shot of the blackest brew you can handle, your taco is delivered and things are on the up and up. While a take on tradition can be a welcome alternative there usually is a good reason a tradition is, well, a tradition. You’ve probably heard of Menudo, the spicy red broth with beef stomach, cilantro, onions and jalapeños. While it might sound a little unsettling to the gringos, take heart, it’s the most soulful fix that manages to warm you up from the inside out. In a place like Dallas you don’t have to look too hard on a Sunday to find a hearty bowl of this Mexican classic but we think the best in the city comes from Margarita’s Restaurant on Fitzhugh. The staff will hand you a big stack of warm house-made

SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

corn tortillas which are the perfect compliment. Shred those bad boys up and stir them right in. By the time you’re done you’ll feel like a new man. Now, some people appreciate the timehonored southern breakfast with good reason. Biscuits and gravy, for instance, definitely fortify you for the long day ahead. Ironically, though, our favorites come from Kuby’s German Sausage House in Snyder Plaza. The biscuits are big enough that giants might have actually made them, the gravy has this hearty peppery thing happening and if you add some eggs over easy you’ll feel noticeably different before you’re halfway through the meal. Lots of German-style sausages and cold cuts are also up for grabs if that’s more your thing but you can’t go wrong with a hot breakfast from this place. Lastly, we’re going to highly recommend heading to Smoke. If the amazing smell doesn’t perk you up from the parking lot then the Pork & Beans undoubtedly will. These are not the canned variety that always manage to make an unwelcome appearance at family BBQs but spare ribs and beans topped with pulled pork and andouille sausage. The smoky sweet richness is offset by tangy acidic bleu cheese slaw on the side. The portion is generous enough that you’ll have some to take home and eat in bed after you crawl back under the covers. So, the next time you wake up regretting any and every decision made the night before try to get some water in your system, pop a prescription pain killer if you’re lucky enough to have one, and head to one of these places to reclaim your day.


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NEIGHBORHOOD STAPLES BY HANNAH ALLEN WHITE – COMMENTS@BLITZWEEKLY.COM For those of you who may not know there exist food items referred to as pantry staples. These are items like flour, eggs, oils, salt, vinegar and chicken broth. Things needed to staple more complex recipes together which always should be on hand in a pantry. Basically, the brass tacks of food. Well, there are staples in our DFW food community as well. Places that always are there, always stapling us together – one chicken fried steak or spaghetti dinner at a time. Here is a list of our most tried and true restaurant staples.

ANGRY DOG

CAFÉ BRAZIL

In a neighborhood filled with ups, downs and borderline collapse Angry Dog has proudly stood in Deep Ellum for more than 20 years. Initially a bar only, the powers that be decided to start selling food and began picking up awards from every local publication with a “best of” food list beginning with Best Wings by the Dallas Observer in 1992 and most recently this publication bestowed the Best Wings title on them again in 2013. The signature “Angry Dog,” covered in chili, grilled onions and cheese will never fail to hit the spot.

This is another one of those special places that has served to begin or end an evening for more than 20 years. With several Metroplex locations – many of which are 24-hour – breakfast, lunch, and dinner are served round the clock. Boasting the best grilled cheese in town (no, seriously), incredible chicken breakfast tacos and French toast you’ll swear angels dredged and threw on the griddle, it doesn’t get much better. Pair any menu item with the invaluable self-serve coffee bar to get through just about anything life has handed you.

CAMPISI’S NORMA’S CAFÉ The Italian restaurant of Dallas since 1946 and one of the first establishments to be granted a liquor license in the state, there still are persistent myths of the JFK assassination plot being hatched in a corner booth. The food, also, is pretty great. This is super accessible Americano Italian fare – nothing super crazy or overly daring. An “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” philosophy dominates with meatballs that have to be made by an actual army of Italian grandmas in the kitchen. Also: the pizza is boss.

From humble beginnings in 1956 this Oak Cliff institution is southern cooking done right. A distinct diner feel and Mile High Cream Pies made from scratch daily are awesome reasons to pop in. The suggestion to eat dessert first is just, well, a joyous one which will be made by a friendly member of the staff at every visit. Smothered pork chops, open-faced roast beef sandwiches and southern fried catfish are a nice place to start while describing the level of “comfort” in the comfort food Norma’s peddles. They even have blue plate specials, just like in the good ol’ days!

KELLER’S DRIVE-IN There aren’t many places to get a burger and a beer in the comfort of your own car these days. Keller’s Drive-in has been doing it as long as anyone can remember. These guys keep it real with a small menu sans gimmicks. They’re the originators of the now iconic and often copied poppy seed bun. These burgers aren’t giant and aren’t covered in fanciness, they’re just classically awesome. The generosity comes in a helping of the honest-to-God best fries you’ll ever taste. Order an ice cold brew to wash down the most American thing you’ll do for a good while as classic hot rods and Harley’s materialize on the weekends.

While it’s more than just flour, eggs and vinegar these are the places we just can’t replace. There always will be an up-and-comer, a fancy spot for a big occasion or a night when a chain restaurant will just have to suffice but places that have sat on the same street for longer than two decades really mean something in the 21st century. They mean that people always will come back to what they love and to where they build their individual and collective memories. WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM


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Eat Where the (Famous) People Eat! BY HANNAH ALLEN WHITE – COMMENTS@BLITZWEEKLY.COM

F

rom the time John Neely Bryan built that little log cabin on the prairie that became Dallas there have undoubtedly been whiney critics comparing that little homestead to the ones that came first. The free spirited ones in Austin or the more dignified ones in Houston, for example. Maybe these critics were, at that time, migratory birds or even well-traveled javalena hogs but it seems those pesky voices of comparison have been around since Day 1. As a Dallas native I certainly can’t be the only one who will loudly say I don’t much appreciate this. If I wanted to live in Austin I’d live in Austin. If I wanted to live in Houston I’d move to Houston and so on and so forth. It seems a lot of the time even Dallas residents lucky enough to score

institutions or even trending greatness there is so much here to choose from and to love. The fabulous thing is there are credible sources from far and wide as well as those in our own backyard who feel this way about the particular culinary situation we’ve got going on here. When Café 43 opened last year under the classically poised eye of former First Lady Laura Bush – a bonus to the much anticipated George W. Bush Presidential Center at SMU – with a take on Texan classics using locally-sourced produce, animal protein and dairy, it piqued my curiosity. It wasn’t just about what was going on behind the doors of that giant homage to our former commanderin-chief but about who else was digging in their spurs or stilettos into the Dallas restaurant scene.

the former leader of the free world watching Bonanza reruns in his PJs while enjoying his favorite banana pecan ice cream with Laura snuggled up next to him as you’re indulging in this dish yourself. In the same vein you could pop over to Society Bakery and try to pick which succulent cupcake Ellen DeGeneres savors while watching Finding Nemo. The Converse clad comedian and vest enthusiast proclaimed the establishment to be in the Top 10 Cupcakes in the U.S. of A. by way of a secret shopper several years ago. And let me just tell you, she’s by no means exaggerating. According to the Lower Greenville location there wasn’t just one particular cupcake chosen but a whole slew of its bestsellers including red velvet, chocolate and salted caramel. While all this sugar-coated gibberish definitely makes me salivate I’ve been told there are some people who aren’t much for sweets. I don’t understand them but I can’t ignore that they exist and might want to be included in this conversation about where they might bump into a famous person in their hometown. The logical areas are places like the W Hotel where Lamar Odom and that Kardashian he was married to lived for a minute or the Mansion on Turtle Creek where David Bowie once got into some trouble with an overzealous groupie. The ritzy places, you know. But let’s be real, these are not places the average person chooses to chill.

writing gigs can’t actually believe we choose to be here. The critics, man, they just never stop. There are all kinds of great things our corner of the world has to offer and among my favorites would undoubtedly be the food. From the holesin-the-walls of our shiny exterior or hidden gems in the rougher neighborhoods to celebrated SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

After doing a little digging I discovered that a.) Café 43 is pretty great for a classy lunch that doesn’t break the bank and b.) It doesn’t require that hefty admission fee into W.’s library. Atmospherically speaking, you can sense Mrs. Bush’s signature all over the dining room that sits on the grounds of her alma mater. Speaking in terms of the food offerings it’s easy to imagine

The still intact underbelly of the legendary nightlife scene in Deep Ellum doesn’t typically promise much more than a regional celebrity at best. Back in the day you’d see Vinnie Paul or Dimebag Darrell walking down Elm Street on a Saturday night but bona fide rock star is another story. Unless, of course, you go to Buzzbrews on Commerce Street where Jane’s Addiction and general guitar mercenary Dave Navarro stopped by while visiting Elm Street Tattoo co-owner Oliver Peck. While no one seems to remember what he ordered at least we understand the menu is fit for rock royalty – my money is on the Hare Krishna Crepes, though. Order them with bacon for a good laugh. Further down the totem pole of legit celebrity status are the Food Network stars. In fairness, though, the gravely-voiced Rachael Ray has

crossed over into the world of “household name.” Consequently, I’ve never met a man who wasn’t chomping at the bit to cuddle up with the curvy brunet and a giant pile of her homemade food. There are several likeable things about this TV star who has never claimed “chef” status, the lack of culinary training being one of them. Girlfriend just likes to cook. She grew up in restaurants working in both front and back of house in upstate New York and later The Big Apple itself. In case you didn’t know there is a certain category of amazing reserved for pausing your day to scarf down a slice of pizza while standing (not sitting) at a pizzeria counter in Manhattan. This pizza is better than anywhere else in the world but, not according to Rachael Ray. “The best pizza you’ll ever eat,” she says is at Olivella’s right here in Big D. The Neapolitan style pizzeria has a fairly extensive menu which includes lots of truffle oil and a red sauce that packs a delightful kick. Following Ms. Ray is the mostly annoying Guy Fieri and his Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives program. Admittedly, this is not a show to watch when you’re hungry or stoned and especially not both. You’ve been warned. The premise is selfexplanatory and it’s a great resource when taking any trip to a major city. It’s definitely no surprise that his nationwide quest for the best mom and pop shops have led him to our neck of the woods. The Uptown eatery Maple and Motor made the cut with a kitchen demo on how those hearty burgers take shape. The neighborhood favorite Il Cane Roso in Deep Ellum also was featured in one episode. Both are worth a try. While we might not be able to throw a rock at the nearest In-N-Out Burger and hit an A-list celeb like you can in Hollywood, there is clout behind some of our favorite places. It may not be Austin or Houston but, damn it, it’s home. Home is about hanging your hat, rolling up your sleeves and sitting down to a fantastic meal. In this town there is no shortage of places to do just that!


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The Green Spot, near White Rock Lake: Once the jumping-off point for the now successful (and relocated) Good 2 Go Taco this literal corner of the only gas station specializing in healthy convenience called the Green Spot is reminiscent of country gas stations where you can order hot meals and sit down to enjoy them with your people. We’re talking grass-fed organic made-toorder burgers and BLTs, huevos rancheros, sweet potato fries and the like. They’ve also got a specialty coffee counter and Kombucha on tap. Seriously so good.

Chichen Itza, Lower Greenville:

BY HANNAH ALLEN WHITE – COMMENTS@BLITZWEEKLY.COM

G

reasy spoon, mom n’ pop shop, joint, diner or hole-in-the-wall no one can get enough of these secret little places you feel like no one else knows about. Maybe it’s because it makes you feel nostalgic, maybe it’s because it makes you feel like you know something no one else knows but one thing is for sure and that is if there wasn’t something incredibly special about the actual food itself you wouldn’t be making it a point to pop in each time you’re in that neighborhood. We’ve put together a list of our favorite less-than-well-known favorites.

While we wouldn’t want to advise anyone to put their safety at risk for a taco let’s just say that if you were ever willing to do so this would be the place to grab your balls and saunter on in. Possibly a front for something far more interesting than we’d venture to claim here this tiny taqueria has even been known to trade a patron willing to do repairs on their establishment in tacos and beer. The il pastor is to die for, just ask them to go easy on the cilantro which the staff seems to think should be applied liberally. Grab a few cervezas to go and get the hell out of dodge, you’ll understand why people keep going back two bites in.

Henk’s Deli, NW Highway & 75 Central: There’s something to be said for a place that smells like chocolate frosting every time you walk in: DAYAMN! Henk’s is a Europeanstyle deli hidden behind the giant Half Priced Books on Northwest Highway. You can sit down and order food and then shop in the store section filled with shelves of hard-to-find items from across

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the pond. All the way in the back is the meat counter filled with unbeatable sausages and salamis next to a bakery case filled with breads, pastries and cakes which, presumably is what they’re doing with that chocolate frosting. While they have an eclectic menu of both familiar and traditional favorites our favorite is the Reuben sandwich with a spicy dill pickle on the side.

Chef Chu, Carrollton: As far as Chinese take-out type places go everyone has their own expectations. Sometimes they’re met, sometimes they’re grossly violated and sometimes they’re surpassed. Chef Chu’s menu is made up of typical Americanized Chinese food and lacks sketchy ingredients and mystery meat. The first thing we’ll recommend is the Lo Mein. Not only is it pretty bangin’ upon arrival but it’s absolutely amazing the next day – which is not only the true test of any variety of Lo Mein but the second amazing thing about this spot. There is always enough for the next day. The portion sizes are generous and an entree includes fried rice, egg drop soup and an egg roll. It’s pretty much yum-tastic and well worth the price.

Hippie Cowboy, Midlothian: I know it’s a drive but everyone has a cousin or someone that lives south of the county line. When you go to visit them in the sticks get them out of their quaint little mid-century and drive them to Hippie Cowboy. A friendly and creative take on the Americana vibe of small town Texas, this eatery has creatively named dishes that sound like old-school diner short hand. The bonus is the place doesn’t have the corner cutting propensity of small-town diners past when it comes to ingredients. Everything is made in-house especially the slow-simmered Truck Stop Chili which comes topped with cheddar and jack cheese with diced onions. There also are Grab n’ Go dinner options (think prepared foods from Central Market) which can be reserved the day before since the place lists its whole month’s worth of options on the website.

Home Of The

“Hot Sub Sandwich”

HOURS

MON-THUR: 11AM-7PM FRI-SAT: 11AM-9PM Closed On Sunday

1104 South Elm Historic Downtown Square Carrollton – 75006 972-245-7900

WWW.LUEISIANAPOBOYS.COM WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM


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VOL. 7 - ISSUE 4

MAY 2014

Hilarious Advice From This Guy Pull out a coupon on your date and you might as well just drop her off in another guy’s lap. If you see a man drinking whipped cream-flavored Smirnoff take a moment of silence for the loss of his testicles.

Andrew J. Hewett www.chewednews.com

There’s no such think as ugly at 4 a.m. If Tinder, OK Cupid, and Snapchat after dark haven’t worked maybe you’re just gonna be stuck masturbating. I’ve never met a Dan that I didn’t want to punch in the face. If you’re growing a lumberjack beard and you work as a barista…do me a favor and change your name to Dan.

DIDN’T CARE FOR MOTHER’S DAY? A Utah “mother,” Megan Huntsman, 39, of Pleasant Grove, gave birth to seven children between 1996 and 2006. And, on April 13, 2014, she was arrested ...after all seven tiny bodies were found stuffed in cardboard boxes inside the garage where she once lived. One of the seven did appear to have been stillborn.

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COMPASSION CAUSED CONFINEMENT One day last March, Richard Wright handed out $50 and $100 bills to visitors of Halifax, Nova Scotia, saying if they didn’t need it, to share with others. That is until police took him in for a “wellness check,” which got him sent to a mental-health facility. Later, though his daughter Chelsea told reporters her father was a generous man with no mental-health issues, and friends swore he was a caring fellow filled with compassion, at press time he was still hospitalized. MORE CALLUSED LOVE Microsoft founder Bill Gates was preparing to give a speech in Vancouver, British Columbia, recently, while circumcision dislikers prepared a protest. Only because the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation gave more than $160 million for circumcision programs to developing countries based on medical evidence the procedure lowered chances of transmitting HIV, reducing AIDS cases. The CFAP (Canadian Foreskin Awareness Project) claims the procedure reduces that organ’s “tenderness,” reducing the pleasure of sexual interaction.

Taurus: April 20 - May 20 The only person who will wish you a “Happy Birthday” is the cop who pulled you over for speeding.

Leo: July 23 - August 22 The highlight of your month will be learning how to drain your dog’s anal glands.

Scorpio: October 23 - November 21 Things will go from bad to worse when you see your cat take a shit in your toaster.

Aquarius: January 20 - February 18 Your girlfriend will mention that your cock reminds her of an Ewok from Star Wars. Short, stubby and fuzzy…

Gemini: May 21 - June 21 Thirty minutes after finishing what you thought was an awesome date with a great girl you’ll receive a text that reads: Yeah, uh, never come near me again.

Virgo: August 23 - September 22 Due to boredom and a faulty hair dryer you will end up with singed pubes and burnt balls.

Sagittarius: November 22 December 21 You will come home to find all your porn rags have been censored with a black sharpie.

Pisces: February 19 - March 20 You’ll soon discover that it’s a bad idea to keep your dog in the car while taking it through the car wash. Enjoy as Fido freaks out and pisses on everything. Including you.

Capricorn: December 22 - January 19 While having sex with the woman of your dreams she’ll fall asleep on top of you halfway through.

Aries: March 21 - April 19 Your Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend will name your penis Tyrion Lannister.

Cancer: June 22 - July 22 The only female on the planet who actually shows any sexual interest in you is your 70-year-old neighbor.

Libra: September 23 - October 22 You will soon learn that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from a broken vending machine than help the person stuck underneath it get free.

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Where to get your next fix…

caffeine that is

Brand Development and Creative Marketing 469-877-1533 info@culture-hype.com

BY AMBER LAFRANCE – ALAFRANCE@BLITZWEEKLY.COM

I

’m going to be honest, I don’t exist before I have my coffee. Literally, sometimes I go through the day (until 5 p.m.) so caught up in working that I forget to eat anything…but I do make sure to make myself French Press at 8 a.m.! Needless to say, I love coffee. I get extra shots in my Chai; grind my Guatemala beans from Whole Foods fresh every morning and when I’m in between meetings I go out to get another caffeine fix. What are my favorite spots to satisfy my caffeine tooth, you ask? Check out the list below.

Avoca Coffee Southside - Fort Worth Sip on: Espresso or the Yama Tower Munch on: Dude Sweet Chocolate Boasting coffees from countries around the world, like Colombia, Guatemala, Costa Rica and Ethiopia, Avoca takes coffee seriously. This place goes as far as roasting the beans right next to the coffee shop. A quieter option, this shop has a garage-like vibe and usually is filled of students studying and cramming for finals. Childhood friends Jimmy Story and Garold LaRue are the masterminds behind this operation. For those who don’t venture over to Fort Worth often, Mudsmith apparently serves their coffee right here in Dallas.

Crooked Tree CoffeeHouse Oak Lawn/Uptown – Dallas Sip on: Spicy Chai with a shot of espresso or any of the handmade brewed coffees Munch on: Zenzero Banana Bread Going to Crooked Tree is like going to your best friend’s house in college. With mismatched furniture and a living room vibe, it’s one of my favorite spots to grab coffee. I may be biased, as I met the love of my life on the comfy blue couch here, but hey – it has tasty coffee from a local Oak Cliff roaster, a chill atmosphere and a super SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

nice staff. The people here also make a point to support the local art and music community by hosting a rotating array of artists and live musicians. “We put a lot of thought behind how we brew our coffee and we try to be really intentional about our process and our different methods,” said bar-back Dagny Sanson.

Mokah Coffee Bar Deep Ellum – Dallas Sip on: Cappuccino or Macchiato Munch on: Chocolate Croissant from Empire Baking Company “Mokah is more than a coffee shop that’s in Deep Ellum; it’s a coffee shop that’s for Deep Ellum,” said manager Amy Nickell. “We are here to provide a creative and comfortable place for the community. We partner with a local craft coffee roaster, Tweed Coffee, to provide excellent coffee to our Deep Ellum neighbors.” The friendly staff at Mokah Coffee Bar is passionate about two things: good coffee and people sharing what they love through music, art and conversation. There are lounge shows featuring live music in their eclectic living room area, along with various nightly events. Smack dab in the middle of the cultural epicenter that is life in Deep Ellum, Mokah is a great place to hang. Make sure to check out the art gallery, that features emerging artists from across the globe.

Mudsmith Lowest Greenville - Dallas Sip on: Iced Toddy or The Cortado Munch on: Hypnotic Donuts every Monday or a classic croissant If you’re looking to camp out for a few cups of coffee, post up on your laptop and people watch – Mudsmith is the place to be. The brainchild of Brooke Humphries, the business savvy chick behind Barcadia, Acme F&B and It’ll Do Club, this hip industrial coffee joint nestles itself along Lower Greenville right across from Trader Joe’s. With a killer playlist in motion and a staff that looks like they came straight from the streets of Williamsburg in Brooklyn, N.Y., this hip joint is getting a lot of local buzz because of its delicious coffee, craft beer, wine and addicting pastries.

Oddfellows Oak Cliff – Dallas Sip on: Cuvée Coffee Black & Blue or Kalita Wave Munch on: Oddfellows Ding Dong This poppin’ Oak Cliff establishment not only is a coffeehouse but a full-service restaurant (which is a whole other story). The brews and espresso are extremely consistent and always compelling. The friendly staff is seriously dedicated to a good cup of brew and the spot hosts public coffee tastings and a fancy espresso machine called the La Marzocco Strada.


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