VOL. 2 - ISSUE 41
NJ Teen Admits Defecating In Classmate’s Soda
BLITZ News Shorts Hollywood Profile/Movie Review Music: Music from Nashville Rangers/AirHogs/Vigilantes News A Woman’s HSO UFC 115 Preview COVER STORY: Nightlife Rules to Live By Hey DJ! Can’t Miss Venues BLITZ BABE: Sunrise Make Your Life More Adventurous Food Review: Cousin’s Barbecue Blitz Toys The Fan Top 10 with Sybil Crossword / Jokes / Horrorscopes Last Call: World Cup Fever
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His lawyer calls it a foolish prank, but a judge isn’t laughing. A 17-year-old high school student from Haddon Township admitted in family court last Thursday that he defecated in a classmate’s soda during an auto-shop class. Prosecutors dropped an aggravated assault charge in exchange for the boy’s guilty plea to a charge of tampering with a food product. Authorities said the victim sipped the soda, then spit it out as his classmates laughed on March 29. A judge ordered the boy to serve probation, serve 200 hours of community service, write a letter to the victim to apologize...and to write a 1,000-word report on why it’s unhealthy to ingest fecal matter.
EDITOR Jennifer Wayne
COVER Cover Design: Damien William Mayfield STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS Darryl Briggs, Gregg Case, Nathaniel Chadwick, Kent Gilley, Tim Gravens, Steven Hendrix, Matt Pearce, Jason Ryan, Ed Westerman
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK “I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.” – Groucho Marx, 1895-1977
YOU LOOK CUTE IN FEATHERS...AND A BEAK Purdue Farms, a major U.S. chicken processing company, attempted to be “politically correct” by having their slogan, “It takes a tough man to make a chicken tender,” translated into Spanish. Unfortunately, the translator got “tough” and “hard” mixed up, and used the wrong meaning of the word “tender.” This caused the translated version to primarily read, “A sexually excited man will make a chicken affectionate.”
When Pepsi Cola was first offered in China in the 1970s, the company’s marketing men opted to play it safe with their award-winning slogan, “Come alive with Pepsi.” Unfortunately, the translated version came out as “Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave.”
CREATIVE DIRECTOR / WEBSITE / GRAPHIC DESIGN Damien William Mayfield
STAFF WRITERS Tony Barone, Vivian Fullerlove, Robin George, Eric Kendall, Frank LaCosta, Pat Moran, Richard S. Pollak, Craig Smith, Joe Stumpo, and Jesse Whitman
BUT WHERE WOULD THEY LIVE?
PUBLISHER Kelly G. Reed
CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Keith Allison, Glenn Francis, Corby Frazier, Nicolas Genin, Steven Gray, Carl Hutzler, Lesto56, King Lele, Joe Lorenzini, Mezperson, Pod K, Philip Rosie, Roberto Santorini, David Shankbone, Matt Spicher, Joseph Siegler
Andrew J. Hewett
Man Calls 911 About Mom Taking His Beer
A 32-year-old Pasco County man who called 911 to complain about his mother is facing criminal charges. According to a sheriff’s office arrest report, Charles Dennison told a deputy that his mother took his beer and he wanted her arrested. Dennison was reportedly “very intoxicated” when the deputy arrived at the New Port Richey home. Dennison told the deputy that he would keep calling emergency responders if his mother wasn’t charged. He has been charged with making false 911 calls and was jailed on $150 bond.
Man Shoots Himself In Testicles Police said a man accidentally shot him-
self in the testicles at a Lynnwood department store. Police spokeswoman Shannon Sessions said the man was carrying his handgun in his waistband and it accidentally went off last Sunday. She said he was wounded in the testicles and also in his leg and foot. No one else was hurt.
MEANING, NO MATTER THE NUMBERS, KILLING WOULD CONTINUE? On Memorial Day, May 30, 2005, according to the Associated Press, President George W. Bush promised an audience at Arlington National Cemetery that America would honor its dead by striving for peace and democracy...no matter the cost.
BLITZREVIEWS By: Joe Stumpo - www.darthstumpo.com
with Will & Jaden Smith
by: Vivian Fullerlove “Entertainment’s Real Critic”
What do you do when your pre-teen son comes to you and says, “Dad, I want to be an actor”? Well, if you’re Will Smith, you remake one of the most beloved David vs. Goliath stories in movie history with your son in the title role. Will and wife, Jada, are two of the producers behind the new Karate Kid movie, which stars 11-year-old Jaden Smith. In the film, Jaden plays Dre Parker, a 12-year-old who could have been the most popular kid at his school in Detroit, but his mother’s latest career move has landed him in China. He immediately falls for his classmate Mei Ying, but their cultural differences make their friendship impossible. Even worse, Dre’s feelings make him a target for the class bully. With no friends in a strange land, he turns to the building maintenance man, Mr. Han, played by Jackie Chan, who is secretly a master of Kung Fu. From the screaming throngs of ten- and elevenyear-old girls in attendance at the red carpet screening of the film at Cinemark 17 in Dallas recently, Jaden is well on his way to leading man status! We talked with Jaden and Will while they were in town, and this is what they had to say about shooting in China and about working with martial arts master Jackie Chan.
Why was actually shooting in China so important to the film?
Photo Courtesy: Corby Frazier
WS: The actors and the crew and the people are actually experiencing what the essence of the script or the essence of what the characters are experiencing; so the cameraman is in the vibe already so there’s something that he or she doesn’t even realize that they’re feeling that’s capturing what you’re trying to capture by going and being and living for the period of time in that space.
This film was a huge experience for Jaden no doubt, but also a sentimental one for you. What was it like for you to be a part of this process? WS: Anytime you can have the opportunity to make the quality of film that we’ve made, a classic film from my childhood and then you also have the opportunity to learn some Chinese history and experience a beautiful place like China it’s like a win, win, win all around.
You’ve been taking martial arts lessons for a long time, what was it like to work with a martial arts icon like Jackie Chan? JS: He is amazing. Every time he would come in, he would say good morning in a different language. He would teach the crew members things. He would teach me things. He was very straight forward and would get things done when he needed to get them done. He was the most amazing person ever. He taught me how to stretch correctly, how to be in the scene correctly; he was right there with me the whole time. The new Karate Kid movie opens in theatres nationwide on June 11. The film is rated PG for bullying, martial arts action and some mild language. For all of this week’s new releases, check out my show Reel Critics on Time Warner Cable Video on Demand under the North Texas programming tab!
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time I probably wouldn’t be too far off in my assumption that producer Jerry Bruckheimer is hoping Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time makes enough money at the box office to become another successful franchise like Pirates of the Caribbean and Transformers. The difference here is with Pirates of the Caribbean, if viewers did not know the films were based on a Disney theme park ride, they were at least familiar with Johnny Depp. By comparison, the success of the Transformers films has to do with the kids’ familiarity with the toys, if not the animated ‘80s cartoon. I don’t know how many people know that Prince of Persia is inspired by a video game. As for myself, I had no idea the film was based on the concept until I saw the end credits. Too bad Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time plays out exactly like a soulless video game. The difference here is instead of putting in a quarter to play a game that lasts a few minutes depending on how good of a player you are, the viewer is shelling out $8 or more on a game, in this case, a film, that lasts two hours. That would be just fine if the story had any real emotional substance. I did not care whether or not the swashbuckling hero, Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal) along with the damsel-in-distress, Tamina (Gemma Arterton), would be able to prove he is not the one who murdered his adopted father,
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King Sharaman. Nor did I care about what happens to the evil Nizam (Ben Kingsley), the one responsible for the King’s murder. The characters are nothing more than just soulless video game caricatures going through the required motions of playing good and bad characters. Dastan and Tamina exchange words like a quarreling boyfriend and girlfriend. “You really enjoy telling me what to do, don’t you,” Dastan says. “Only because you are so good at following orders,” Tamina says. “Such a noble prince leaping to assist the fallen beauty,” Tamina says. “Who said you are a beauty,” Dastan says. “There must be a reason why you can’t take your eyes off me,” Tamina says. I liked how Dastan had no words to say after that. The humorous exchanges of dialogue between the two leads is one of Prince of Persia’s more memorable moments. The rest of the film plays out exactly like a video game as the two jump rooftops evading swordsmen and outrunning racing ostriches. Every action sequence is like the player reaching a new level. Fans of the Prince of Persia video game will likely savor every minute of this big screen adaptation as it’s filled with plenty of action.
5 by: Jennifer Wayne
Photo Courtesy: Matt Spicher
Sun – Cause a Ruckus
Jennifer Lopez – Love?
4. Feel It
Three 6 Mafia – Laws of Power
Lady Gaga – The Fame Monster
6. Tik Tok
Ke$ha – Animal
7. Feelin’ Like A Superstar
Barbara Tucker – single
8. Give Me Something
Yoko Ono – single
Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce – The Fame Monster
Rihanna ft. Jeezy – Rated R
Frisco RoughRiders vs. San Antonio Missions Dr Pepper Ballpark - Frisco Now is your chance to get a ticket to see the ‘Riders, get a Rough Riders hat, and a hot dog, all for only $10. Pick up a coupon at a participating Kroger location and take it to the ‘Riders Ticket Office to redeem. First pitch is at 7:00 p.m.
Thur Jun 10
2. Fancy Free
Neighborhood Night Hotel ZaZa – Dallas From 5 p.m. until close, guests can enjoy beer, wine and well drink specials and a selection of appetizers from the Dragonfly menu for $5 each.
Fri Jun 11
Kelis – Flesh Tone
Texas Stars vs. Hershey Bears Cedar Park Center - Cedar Park Yes, you can still see hockey in Texas. See some of the talent that may be moving up to the Dallas Stars next season. Game time is 7:30 p.m.
Sat Jun 12
Great White The Glass Cactus – Grapevine These ‘80s rockers gave us good sing-alongs like “Rock Me” and “Once Bitten Twice Shy.” Now they are back together and back on tour celebrating 25 years of spandex and bleach.
Sun Jun 13
MUSIC: Club Mix 1. Acapella
Sunday Sunset Movie Night Central 214 – Dallas Round off the weekend under the stars on the newly updated Central 214 courtyard patio at Hotel Palomar. Enjoy Chef Blythe Beck’s new value-priced late night menu and great drink specials, every Sunday evening in June. • June 13 Best in Show • June 20 Airplane • June 27 Grease Seating at 8 p.m. Entry is free.
Mon Jun 14
and be done with it. Instead, they are also giving their time--something that not a lot of people are willing to sacrifice. On May 14th, over seventy people joined together to give their gift of time and spirit in the making of “City of Dreams.” All proceeds from the song and music video “City of Dreams - Artists for Tennessee Flood Relief” benefit the American Red Cross. It was filmed at Ocean Way Studios in Nashville. Julian Chojnacki, Director, Cinematographer and Camera Operator, captured all the moments. Food was donated by Maggiano’s Restaurant. T-shirts for the shoot were designed and donated by Dwayne Biddy of Umbrella Productions. And the song was written by Victoria Banks. Post production of the video began that same night and wrapped just one week later. You might be wondering why I am wasting your time with all the small details. It’s because small gestures can make a huge difference. Also because maybe when you are getting ready to take your family out to dinner or buying a new shirt, you’ll think of some of these companies and show your support to them for what they have done. And maybe you can check out Victoria Banks’ work. She is a country artist from Canada. That’s right, she doesn’t even live in Tennessee, yet she felt moved to help out. The people affected by the recent historic flooding need your support, too. Take a minute to check out www.CityofDreamsNashville.com and see how it inspires you.
Corry Morrow Whiskey & Rye - Fort Worth This straight-shootin’ Texas country musician is playing his hits and newbies from his ninth solo release Vagrants And Kings.
Tue Jun 15
To me, it is strange to think that people’s lives are falling apart in other areas of the country and I can be completely oblivious to it. Someone 800 miles away could have just had their home destroyed and a family member killed, all while I am here sitting at Sonic on my lunch break, wishing there was more cherry in my limeade. And the sad part is I may never feel a ripple from whatever proverbial tidal wave hit their life. I could go on living just the same. I was shocked to find out that a city I had visited several times before for March Madness games had been devastated by natural disaster and I didn’t even know. Weeks have passed and I didn’t even know the extent of it. In May, Nashville and the state of Tennessee were ravaged by flooding that caused over $1 billion in damage and killed 30 people (that they know of). Places that I have stepped foot on have been ripped open by rushing waters. People I could have passed on the street, exchanged glances with or even talked to could have been one of those who drowned. All this and I didn’t know until weeks later. But now I do know about the disaster. And I now know an inspiring story born out of it. A group of over 40 Nashville artists and musicians joined together with production teams and film crews to record the flood relief song “City of Dreams.” It’s incredible. People who are a part of the devastation, who lost homes and memories themselves, aren’t allowing themselves to be victims. They are reaching out to others in their state who are hurting and are helping them rebuild. Many of these musicians, such as Pam Tillis, are very successful. They could just write a check
Josh Golden House of Blues – Dallas Golden is a 14-year-old prodigy, who has been at it since the ripe old age of 10. He writes all of his own songs and also plays piano. He is currently recording his first in-studio album and making everyone else’s teenagers look stupider than before. If you know of a cool event or concert coming up, send some info our way at email@example.com
by: Craig Smith “Sportsologist” - firstname.lastname@example.org
by: Travis L. Brown AirHogs Media
The first place Texas Rangers couldn’t pull off the sweep of the Tampa Bay Rays who have the best record in all of baseball. They still lead Oakland by a half game after Sunday. The good news is they went 21 against the Rays and outscored them 15-7 in the first two games. Tommy Hunter made his season debut with the Rangers Saturday and was exactly what the team needed from a pitcher. He got the start in place of Derek Holland who was put on the DL Tuesday. He pitched a complete game and only gave up one run. The highlight of the game had to be when Vladimir Guerrero had a home run over the right field wall that says, “Vote Vlad for All-Stars.” That’s what I call campaigning! The bad news is that on Sunday Rich Harden took the mound. I was there for this game that took over four hours to play and it was extremely hot. He can’t seem to pitch deep into a game and his pitch count
gets high way too fast. He gave up four runs and only lasted five innings. He has now started 12 games this season and hasn’t pitched six innings in 9 of them. He is averaging a lousy 19.93 pitches per inning. That is the third highest among American League starters who qualify. He is working the bullpen to death. Patience with him is running out for me and most Ranger fans. When Holland comes back, I think it may be time to part ways with Harden. He makes $6.5 million a year, which is more than double any pitcher on the team. For what the Rangers pay him, they get C.J. Wilson, Colby Lewis, Neftali Feliz, Derek Holland and Tommy Hunter all together with some change leftover. It’s an understatement to say he is not worth the money. This week they are home through Thursday against the Seattle Mariners before heading to Milwaukee for a three game weekend series with the Brewers.
by: Craig Smith “Sportsologist” - email@example.com
Photo Courtesy: Joe Lorenzini
Can Ironman Save the Vigilantes? The game Saturday night pitted two teams in dire need of a win at the American Airlines Center. The Bossier-Shreveport Battle Wings (2-6) had lost six straight games while the Dallas Vigilantes (1-6) had lost four straight. One of these two teams were going to break their losing streak. They are the bottom two teams in the Southwest Division. Newly appointed Vigilantes head coach James Fuller made his home debut. On Tuesday, Dallas got some great news when they signed former Dallas Desperado Will Pettis. He plays wide receiver/defensive back and was named “Ironman of the Year” twice while playing in the AFL. His paperwork wasn’t signed in time, so he wasn’t available for this game. Derek Lee got his second touchdown of the night early in the second quarter, but Dallas trailed 21-14. Quarterback Collin Drafts showed a lot of determination on a 9-yard td run, refusing to go down. Duke Pettijohn got a huge blocked kick with 18 seconds left in the half. On the next play, Drafts hit Kenny Henderson for a 24-yard touchdown but the extra point was missed. The Battle Wings scored a touchdown as time expired at the half to take the lead 3427.
Henderson started the second half off with a nice kick return. On the night, he had 8 returns for 241 yards. Matt Fields also had a big game with 3 touchdown receptions. Lee got his third touchdown of the game to put Dallas up 55-48 after three quarters. Drafts had a huge night with 8 touchdown passes and one rushing. Pettijohn picked up a fumble and ran it in for a 69-55 lead for Dallas. Kicker Mark Lewis missed a chip shot to put the game away for Dallas with two minutes left. It came back to haunt Dallas as Bossier-Shreveport scored with 3.6 seconds left to make it 68-69. They then scored on a two point conversion with no time left to break the heart of the Vigilantes and their fans. This Friday Dallas takes on Tulsa at home.
Success can only follow adding a legendary coach to a team’s staff. No, this time we are not talking about AirHogs’ head coach Pete Incaviglia. The Grand Prairie AirHogs added college baseball coaching legend Lance Brown to the staff this week to work with the ‘Hogs pitching staff. Brown made his mark on the collegiate world at Texas Christian University, finishing his 17-year tenure at the helm of the Horned Frogs team tallying the most wins of any coach in TCU history with a record of 517-471. He is one of only two men to earn Southwest Conference Player of the Year for his pitching performance as a player at TCU, then became the Southwest Conference Coach of the Year in 1994 when he led the Frogs to a conference title. Brown continued his career at Texas Tech, serving as the pitching coach in Lubbock. After joining the staff in 2005, he lowered the team’s ERA by a full run in less than a season’s work. Why will Brown be effective at this level of ball? He said nothing is different in coaching pitching between high school and
this level, that it’s all about adjusting the pitchers approach. And his players should be responsive to his coaching styles. Brown said the reason he coaches is to see his players achieve the goals they set for themselves and that he feels the most successful when they reach those goals. Come see the AirHogs’ coaching addition in action when Grand Prairie returns home Friday, June 11th, at QuikTrip Park as they don their purple jerseys for “Purple in the Park”. The greatness that is “Handlebar Mustache Monday” debuts on Monday, June 14th. It’s a Blitz Worthy event!
Photo Courtesy: Joseph Siegler
Harden Living on Borrowed Time? AirHogs Introduce New Pitching Coach
A Real Team Player
Photo Courtesy: Keith Allison
I am sure you have heard by now that Ken Griffey Jr. unexpectedly decided to retire from the Mariners baseball club last Wednesday after 22 seasons. He’s 40, which is “old” in sports years. He was a dominate player in the ‘90s and is fifth on the all-time list with 630 home runs, but as of late, you might not be able to tell. He’s been spending more and more time on the bench. There were no farewell fireworks or speeches, just a statement he released through the Seattle Mariners – the franchise he helped save in the ‘90s – that he was done playing. Not the kind of “out” you would expect from someone with 13 AllStar appearances. I think what he did is honorable. He realizes that his time in the spotlight is over and he bowed out gracefully. None of that “I am retiring...maybe...maybe not” crap like we’ve seen from other old timers in other sports. Wouldn’t you rather quit while you are ahead rather than “peter” out and have people remember you with a bad taste in their mouth?
by: Jennifer Wayne “Foxie and Fired Up”
Griffey said he was looking out for his team. “Nobody in the Mariners front office has asked me to retire, I told the Mariners when I met with them prior to the 2009 season and was invited back that I will never allow myself to become a distraction,” Griffey said. “I feel that without enough occasional starts to be sharper coming off the bench, my continued presence as a player would be an unfair distraction to my teammates and their success as a team is what the ultimate goal should be.” You have to admire that. Some athletes play themselves into the ground and drag the rest of the team down in the process. And it’s clear that there are no hard feelings about the sudden retirement--only a sense of sentiment. “To play with him is a treasure I will keep deep in my heart,” fellow Mariner Ichiro Suzuki said through an interpreter. “I have played 19 years in professional baseball and I can say he was one of my best teammates and my best friend.”
Football Dreams Do Come True Every little boy has dreams and someone they want to be like when they grow up. Nineyear-old Ruben St. Hilair lives in a homeless shelter in New York with his mother City. His favorite football player is Chad Ochocinco, formerly known as Chad Johnson. Last year he wrote #85 a letter telling him he was his favorite player. Ruben got a nice surprise when Chad sent him an autographed jersey. The kid then sent him the following letter: Mr. Johnson, you really make me happy. One of my goals in my future life is to be just like you when I grow up. I wonder
who was your role model when you were little. I have three role model(s) in my life that’s my mom, Mr. President Barack Obama and my favorite football player Mr. Chad Johnson. To me, you are the best football player in the NFL. May God bless you and your family. Happy holidays. That letter paid off for young Ruben. He was invited to attend a fundraiser in Hollywood. Many big names attended this event, including Ben Affleck and a musical performance by Five for Fighting, but it was Ruben who was the star that night. He had a dream of
one day being able to attend a football camp. Rich Eisen from the NFL Network called him to the stage. Eisen interviewed him on stage and he seemed a little shy at first. When asked who his favorite team was, he replied, “The Cincinnati Bengals because Chad Johnson is my favorite player.” Little did he know that Chad was back stage listening as he spoke. He was there to surprise him with a football scholarship to attend a football camp run by Deion Sanders. He was then asked to read the full letter he had written. It was pretty touching and even got a few laughs. As confident as Chad
by: Craig Smith “Sportsologist” - firstname.lastname@example.org
is in everything he does, you could tell he was touched by this. Eisen then asked him what he what would think if he told him he was going to a football camp. He reponded, “I would be amazed.” Then from behind the curtain came his favorite player to give him the scholarship to attend football camp. His eyes lit up as he looked at his hero. He couldn’t stop staring at the scholarship. To top it off, it was his birthday. His hero led the star-studded crowd in singing him “Happy Birthday.” After the show he said this was the “best birthday I ever had.” It may be hard to top that one.
NHL: Chicago vs Philadelphia Wednesday, June 9 – 7:00 PM – Wachovia Center – NBC When the Blackhawks go to Philly on Wednesday they will have 2 mountains to conquer; their 49-year Stanley Cup drought and the chance to end a 10-game losing streak at Wachovia Center, which goes all the way back to ’96. Right now the puck is in Philly’s ice.
NBA: Los Angeles vs Boston Thursday, June 10 – 8:00 PM – TD Garden – ABC The Celtics left the Staples Center floating on cloud nine after driving the nail into the coffin of game 2. We saw Rajon Rondo come out with his guns blazing marking his 2nd triple-double of the offseason. However, despite the loss of homecourt advantage in Game 2, history is still on the Lakers’ side.
NBA: Texas vs Milwaukee Friday, June 11– 7:10 PM – Miller Park – TXA 21 Déjà vu! Texas gets into first place, barely, and who is coming up in the West? The Angels! Well how does this involve the Brewers? Well, not to pick on the Brewski’s but with their record it should be a nice way for the Rangers to pad their stats and maybe get a few games out front.
World Cup: England vs USA Saturday, June 12 – 1:30 PM – Royal Bafokeng – ABC Since this only happens once every four years, we figured you might as well watch the first ten minutes of this game. It’s us against the British just like old times. The U.S. is lead by coach Bob Bradley. Don’t be suprised if old man Landon Donovan scores the winning goal.
by: Brian Beard “Ultimate Fighter”
by: Jennifer Wayne “The Foxie Football Fan”
Chuck Liddell “The Ice Man”(21-7-0) vs. Rich Franklin “Ace” (27-5-0):
Since Tito Ortiz was forced to pull out of this fight due to injury, Rich “Scary Jim Carey” Franklin has agreed to fill in. Neither one of these guys have fought in a while and both are coming off loses. Maybe it’s just me but if you have watched The Ultimate Fighter this year it sure seems as if Liddell is a little punch drunk. He just doesn’t seem like he is all there. A couple of years ago I would have picked Liddell without a doubt but I think Scary Jim takes this one. He is still mentally sharp. This will be the last feature fight for the loser of this fight’s career. I pick Ace by TKO in the 2nd round.
Mirko Cro Cop (26-7-2) vs. Pat Barry (5-1-0):
Cro Cop has been less than stellar since coming from Pride to the UFC. I’m not sure if it’s the cage or what but he hasn’t been the same. Barry on the other hand has been extremely exciting and has made quite a name for himself. Cro Cop will have the advantage with the reach and more technical striking but Barry has less battle wounds and 5 years of youth. Barry will catch Cro Cop late in the first and will pull off the KO victory.
Paulo Thiago (13-1-0) vs. Martin Kampmann (16-3-0):
This one could have fight of the night potential. Thiago is a powerful striker with excellent submission skills. Kampmann is well rounded and is very salty on the ground. Both guys are tough as hell and will slug it out. I don’t think there will be too many dull moments in this fight but I do see it going to a decision. Kampmann will pull off the decision in an exciting fight just because he looks tougher.
Presented By: The Gym • 921 West Mayfield #112 • Arlington, Texas 817-652-1555 • www.thegym.org
9 by: Jennifer Wayne
Photos Courtesy: Pod K, David Shankbone & Merzperson
“Foxie and Fired Up”
After a night out with your friends downing beers and shots, scouting all the local talent and avoiding UFC style beatdowns, the inevitable happens: Hunger. Whether you need a place to chat about the night’s activities or something to soak up the alcohol, you need a spot to chill. You can’t go home to an empty fridge so I’ve come up with a list of some of my favorite venues to dine. These are Blitz Worthy. Trust me.
Several Metroplex Locations Most of these are open 24 hours on the weekends. The “hipster” hangout is an experience in itself. Take in all of the cool art. You’ll have to get your own coffee. Get the “El Gordo” you can’t go wrong. They also have damn good muffalettas.
J’s Breakfast & Burgers
Addison – 14925 Midway Rd. If you can avoid the Addison police and make it to this oasis you’ll be in good shape. The smoking section is towards the front so take note. This spot is great for people watching. I totally recommend the 3/4lb burger. It’s a monster. Try the fluffy biscuits with gravy for something different. If you ask nicely, they’ll even make chili cheese hashbrowns. Put that in your tip jar!
Dallas – 4154 N. Central Exp. Dallas – 4334 Lemmon Ave. The self-pronounced “Pop Art Mecca” is open all night with great coffee, laid back attitude and an Austin feel to it. This venue is vegetarian friendly, too. I like the Chicken San Miguel.
Dallas - 5500 Greenville Ave Arlington – 4000 Bagpiper Way Most folks don’t think of hitting a wing place after midnight, but that’s what sets the true party animals from the rest. Catch up on all the sports you’ve missed on their TVs. They offer 16 different sauces to choose from and get some waffle fries.
Greenville Avenue Pizza Co. Dallas – 1923 Greenville Avenue Pizza goes with anything. After a night on Greenville Avenue there is only one destination worth going to and that is GAPC. This casual dining venue has a great staff and the “Kick Ass” pizza they serve by the slice is massive and cooked to order in their ovens. If you want to dine “lite” then try the Pizza Poppers.
TJ’s Pizza Wings & Things
Denton – 420 Carroll Boulevard College kids cannot get enough of this place and it is close enough to walk to from campus. They’re open until 2 a.m. Thursday thru Saturday. They have the usual sized pizzas with traditional toppings or you can experiment with their specialty pizzas. Their wings are pressure cooked and fall off the bone. If you have the nuclear flavored ones you’ll be blowing up stuff all night.
New Big Wong
Dallas – 2121 Greenville Ave. Authentic Chinese food in the middle of the night? Jackpot! They’re always open until 3 a.m. The fast service and ‘80s style décor is a unique combination. The mom and pop joint serves Cantonese style dishes. Rice and noodle dishes served hot and fresh is greatness. Affordably priced, so you can’t go wrong.
By: Frank LaCosta
Ft. Worth – 110 E. Exchange St. Ft. Worth – 817 Matisse I am partial to the Stockyards location because it’s convenient to walk to after boozing it up. It’s fun watching people stumble up the steps to the upper deck. The Dirty Love Burger is a must have since it is wrapped in bacon, smothered in “Love” sauce with a fried quail egg to top it off. Get the Chili Parmesan Chips to soak up the alcohol. Be warned, cash only.
Dallas – 2639 Elm Street After a show at Trees, La Grange or a night of binge drinking, this Blitz Weekly hangout is a great spot for your late night needs. The Bear upstairs is a great conversationalist or you can sit by the window and watch the nightlife. Man up and get the “100 pounder.” The laid back employees add to the vibe.
10 by: Jennifer Wayne “Foxie and Fired Up”
Photo Courtesy: Glenn Francis
13 by: Jesse Whitman “A Woman’s Perpective”
If I hear one more woman caterwauling about how they know what men want, I think I’ll lose my mind and start kicking puppies. And I love puppies! Every time I click on a talk show or stroll through the book store, there’s another feminine perspective being slung at us like a baboon with a handful of ‘zoo poo’, extolling their expertise about what men want. I don’t care if you graduated magna cum laude from the Rosie O’Donnell School of Masculinity, if you don’t “have a pair,” then you don’t know what a man really wants, because you’re not a man! I know a lot about women. I’ve ticked enough of them off to know what they don’t want, so I should be able to figure out what they do want. But I’d never be so bold as to try and explain what women want, because I’m a man. Besides, if I could figure out what women really wanted, I’d write that book and be a “go-zillionaire.” Men aren’t complicated. If you want to know what a man wants, ask him. He might get a little light-headed because you’re actually asking him what he wants, but when the mental fog clears, he’ll be glad to tell you. But when he tells you, believe him…take it for what it is, no matter how contrary it might seem to what you think he wants. And don’t toss out that common response, “No, really, what do you want, because surely you don‘t want that.” If you do, he’ll just say, “Okay, you’re right,” and never waste his time telling you the truth again. Ladies, if you really want to make your man happy, sit him down and ask him, “What do you really want?” Here’s a few hints about what you might hear:
A Partner: Sure, real by: Dennis Hambright www.dennishambright.com men want to be the “head honcho,” the “top dog,” the “king of the castle,” but unless they’re some kind of control freak, what they really want with a woman is a partner. They want to share the things that make them happy. Ask a man what he enjoys doing, and be interested in doing those things with him. You’ll be surprised how willing he’ll be to share the things that you enjoy doing, too. Guy-Time: No matter how crazy a man is about you, and enjoys spending time with you, he needs his guytime too. He needs to hang out with other men and just be a guy, and scratch and cuss and talk about guy-stuff. And yes, he’ll look at other women and make comments with his buddies and act juvenile and do things you probably wouldn’t approve of. Ladies, let him have his guy-time and he’ll appreciate you even more. Ego Support: You picked him. If you chose “Average Joe,” then don’t beat him down because he isn’t more. You can’t fix him because guys like themselves just the way they are. Support him. Tell him he’s great and appreciate him just for who he is. Who knows, he might even decide he wants to be-all-he-can-be because he’s got such a great woman behind him, and go out and conquer and pillage just for you. The Standard Goodies: Great sex and looking hot--oldies but goodies on every man’s list. But ladies, you’ll be surprised how great the physical part can be, and how hot you’ll look to a man if first you’ll ask, really listen, and then be interested in sharing the other things he really enjoys in life. Bottom line, that’s what a man really wants.
Having more adventure in your life can produce ecstatic feelings you never thought possible, but the road less traveled is not always the easiest means of getting there. If you take the plunge—please proceed at your own risk—and leave behind your conventional life, get ready to be hanging off a cliff or something similar, like a scene in an action/adventure flick. 1. Cash in your 401K. And either a) buy 6. Live in a cabin in the woods and write a novel. Hey, adventure doesn’t a Winnebago and travel cross-country, always come easy. Solitude may be b) quit your job and live in Prague or difficult and lonely, but you’ll come another exotic local for at least a year, back with more appreciation for people c) cycle across the country or d) sail and their company. And maybe even a around the world, or at least halfway. great book! 2. Build a tree house. Con7. Learn the ukulele/violin/guitar and ventional houses are so play on the street for money. This boring. Why not live may involve some initial humiliation, in a two-story tree but character-building is no walk in house with swingthe park. You can’t sing the blues ing rope bridges like until you’ve lived it. After all, being an Ewok village or content is about as boring as you can Swiss Family Robget, but struggles will make you stroninson? Just because ger, give you humility, and give you it’s built in a tree doesn’t and your friends something to laugh mean you have to live like a about. dirty hippie. You can still opt to have 8. Join the Circus. If you don’t have ac, indoor plumbing, and insulation. any talents, you can always be a ticket 3. Invite someone dangerous to tea. By seller. You probably won’t make your dangerous I mean random, mysterious, fortune, but you’ll meet some very ininteresting, like the man sulking in the teresting people. And besides, if you’re corner, sporting a skullet and chaintoo chicken to invite her to tea, you can smoking or the bearded lady that lives finally find out how the bearded lady in the neighborhood. You never know pays her mortgage. what kind of crazy stories 9. Adopt a hedgehog. Not only are they they have. Maybe they cute--although not too cuddly--but know someone who is they are a fail-safe at selling a Winnebago getting a girl to come or builds deluxe tree up to your place. houses. How could anyone 4. Make the worst decisay “no” to seeing sion possible. You’re goan adorable hedgeing to do it anyway, so why not just hog? dive in and embrace your bad decisions? Heck, you might even learn 10. Move to Italy and learn how to make shoes. This is not something along the way. While it may as far-fetched as it sounds, although seem painful at the time, a bad decision your friends and family will get a good could be just the thing to give you that laugh if you mention it to them. Anykick in the pants, a wake up call to your body can learn a craft, especially if you true destiny. apprentice with an expert; and making 5. Sell all of your belongings. Then build shoes is not only rare and unique, but a boat made of logs and travel down also very practical. the Mississippi, Huck Finn-style.
by: Jayson Larson
“Man on the Inside”
Cousin’s Barbecue 5125 Bryant Irvin Road • Fort Worth - 76132 817-346-3999 • www.cousinsbbq.com
Smoke Pit BBQ. However, for my money, it is hard to beat the family-owned jewel that is Cousin’s Barbecue Cityview on Bryant Irvin Rd. in southwest Fort Worth. While it is located in a busy spot south of I-20 and directly between Hulen Mall and Mira Vista Country Club, it still manages to have that laid-back, small-town feel when you walk inside. As you make your way through the line, check out the “Wall of Fame,” photos of people who have enjoyed Cousin’s over the years. One picture always sticks out to me: Former Dallas Mavericks guard Steve Nash and currant Dallas Mavericks forward Dirk Nowitzki. I can always get a little Mavs chat going about what might have been had Dallas kept Nash rather than signing Erick Dampier. A side note about the history of Cousin’s includes them being selected by Euro Disney in 1990 to open a Texas
Bar-B-Q concept in their extremely popular theme park in Europe. Cousin’s staff were flown across the Atlantic to teach the folks at Disney on the ways of authentic Texas barbecue. After making your way up to the buffet-style line, it is time to grab a tray and order. The problem I often run into at Cousin’s is that I have my intent to get one thing and then it all looks so good that I end up throwing a last second curve-ball and ordering something completely different. My personal favorites in the rotation include the always reliable chopped beef sandwich, half chicken, turkey and
ribs. Next up is the choice of side dishes. Here, I recommend their fresh French fries, which they prepare after you order them and bring them out to you. There is always a place to sit, even during their crowded times. I prefer to grab one of the big tables in either corner as they provide a perfect view of their flat-screen TVs that are usually tuned to sports. I must mention how friendly everyone is upon walking inside. The service at Cousin’s really sets them apart from all other BBQ restaurants. There are six locations in Tarrant County, including the original on McCart Ave and two locations in Terminals B and D at DFW International Airport.
Photo Courtesy: Matt Pearce
Fort Worth has its share of great barbecue restaurants. Angelo’s and Railhead are often the first names that are mentioned when it comes to the best BBQ in Fort Worth. Angelo’s does have the big bear when you walk inside. Railhead has the sign reading: “Life is Too Short to Live in Dallas.” They both have great food and they both claim to have the coldest beer in town. And don’t forget about Off the Bone BBQ, Smokey’s Ribs and The
Soccer may not be that big in the U.S., but overseas, if you are a player, you are a super star. And what does every super star athlete need? A hot wife or girlfriend (a.k.a., WAG) to cheer them on from the stands. Of course, we all know mega WAG Victoria Beckham, but here are some of our Blitz Picks for hottest WAGs of the World Cup, past and current.
Daniela Cicarelli: She was engaged to Brazillian footballer Ronaldo for three whole months in 2005!
Belen Rodriguez: This Argentinian hottie dated Italian footballer Marco Borriello.
Elisabetta Canalis: Before dating George Clooney she scored a hat trick by going out with ballers, Christian Vieri, Didier Drogba and Reginaldo.
Giorgia Palmas: Prior to her topless shoot for Max magazine, she was linked to Davide Bombardini
Katie Price: She is the ex-girlfriend of Manchester striker Dwight Yorke
Photos Courtesy: Roberto Santorini, Lesto56, Nicolas Genin, King Lele, Philip Rosie, Steven Gray and Carl Hutzler
Leilani Dowding: This hot British topless model dated the following football players: Anwar Uddin, Mark Williams and Jérémie Aliadière.
Yesica Toscanini: Rumored to be involved with Argentine footballer Juan Roman Riquelme.
By: Sybil Summers
Top 10 Hottest Chick Athletes 10. Anna Rawson - You gotta love a golfer who models in her spare time...and plays in a skirt. 9. Julia Mancuso - It’s just too bad she keeps that bikini body covered with a snowsuit. 8. Ana Ivanovic - This Serbian tennis princess is reportedly best friends with Rafael Nadal. 7. Natalie Gulbis - In a word: Stacked! 6. Ashley Force - I’d like to see more of her. Hef, are you listening? 5. Gina Carano - Muscles, dimples and the occasional black eye make this MMA fighter too damn cute. 4. Danica Patrick - I’ll admit, I’m partial to Danica because I’ve been told I resemble her, but if you saw her 2010 Maxim Hot 100 photo shoot, you’d agree she’s worthy of a top four spot. 3. Maria Kirilenko - Move over Kournikova, Sharapova and Ivanovic, Kirilenko just took over as the hottest hot in tennis. 2. Tanith Belbin - Not only does she have beauty pageant looks, but as an ice dancer, she’s bendy too!
1. Malia Jones - She surfs which means two important things. A) She lives in a bikini. B) She’s always wet.
Q: Why don’t blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts? A: Cause their balls show. Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell? A: Another lawyer. Q: What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A: A salad shooter.
The Devil’s Match The Devil walks into a crowded bar. Within seconds, the bar emptied with people running out screaming all over the place, all except for one old man leaned over the bar. The Devil wanders across to the old man and says, “Do you know who I am?” The old man took another sip of his beer and answered, “Yep.” The Devil stared at the old man and asked, “Well, aren’t you afraid of me?” The old man looks the Devil up and down for a minute and shrugs, “I married your sister 40 years ago, why the hell should I be scared of you?”
ACROSS: 1. Russian villa 6. Collection of maps 11. Beer 14. Once more 15. New Zealand native 16. Delivery vehicle 17. Shylock 19. Paintings 20. Pig out 21. Pointed arch 23. Gasoline 27. Relating to a directionless magnitude 28. The study of the motion of gases 32. Sauce 33. Convex molding 34. Estimated time of arrival 37. Assistant 38. Smelt badly 39. Fourth sign of the zodiac 40. Born 41. Unprecedented 42. A Eurasian perennial herb 43. Intimacy 45. Bar 48. Omits
49. Perpendicular to the keel 50. Upchuck 53. Average for a hole 54. Impassive 60. S 61. Metric unit of capacity 62. Oneness 63. Behold 64. Make amends 65. Donnybrook DOWN: 1. Water barrier 2. Back then 3. Tin 4. Hasten 5. Any person 6. Ends a prayer 7. Zingy taste 8. Prospector’s find 9. Metric unit of area 10. Sandstorm 11. Use to one’s advantage 12. Stage between egg and pupa 13. “Come in!” 18. Easter flower 22. Petrol 23. Heathen 24. Strange
25. Exchange 26. Wander 27. An expensive fabric 29. French for “Our” 30. Stop (nautical) 31. Part of a year 34. Gray sea eagle 35. Piece of armor for a thigh 36. Chasm 38. Placard 39. Tins 41. Chemical recipe 42. A radioactive isotope of hydrogen 43. Orange pekoe or Earl Grey 44. Radiate 45. Cassettes 46. Humiliate 47. Poem 50. Disallow 51. Portent 52. “Encore!” 55. Louse-to-be 56. A single thing 57. Zero 58. Dined 59. Caustic
by: Pat Moran “Man on his Throne” - email@example.com
Well, four years have come and gone. World Cup fever has returned stateside once again, much to my dismay. It’s not that I hate soccer. I mean, a sport that is beloved by billions of people across the globe has to have some sort of appeal. Little league soccer has become one of the most popular spots played by kids in the U.S. It’s not really about the game itself, nor is it about some sort of weird hatred of new sports. No, it’s the damn fans. ‘Soccer Fan’ is an altogether different beast. Imagine the worst offenders in American sport – The chest painters, the vaguely costumed characters, the extreme diehards. Now increase their enthusiasm by a billion and change their attitude to one of snarky, exclusive elitism. This is why soccer in the States is something I just can’t get behind. Tell any soccer fan that you don’t like their sport and they freak out on you like you just punched their child. They look at it the way people see Grey Poupon, Polo and Charles Dickens... Something only consumed by the over-educated and the deserving.
Screw them. How many sports do we have in our country? From Baseball to MMA, is there really room for another giant sport and their giant egos? I don’t. I don’t really want to have to debate why Ken Griffey Jr’s retirement is more important to sports than a preliminary match between two countries one would have a hard time pointing out on the map. But they don’t see it that way. It’s all or nothing with them. I’ll watch a game or two... oh wait.. sorry... MATCH. I will watch a match or two, but don’t expect me to feel anything more than the smallest bit of excitement. It’s not the game, it’s those that will be watching it with me. Watching a World Cup match with a soccer fan is like going to an Ed Hardy store with a guy from the Jersey Shore. Too much douche for me to handle.
Nightlife in Dallas