Cops Find Naked Drunk Men In Woods BLITZ News Shorts 3 Blitz Movie Reviews 4 Music: Rubik 5 Rangers/AirHogs/Vigilantes News 6 A Woman’s HSO 7 Thanking Our Heroes 8 COVER STORY: Guide to Man Caves The TVs and Movies to Watch 9 Man Cave Must Haves 10-11 BLITZ BABE: Melissa 12 The ‘Marital Bullet’ 13 Food Review: Ristorante Nicola 14 Blitz Toys 15 The Fan Top 10 with Sybil 16 Crossword / Jokes / Horrorscopes 17 Last Call: Draft Dodger 18 PUBLISHER Kelly G. Reed EDITOR Jennifer Wayne CREATIVE DIRECTOR / WEBSITE / GRAPHIC DESIGN Damien William Mayfield COVER Cover Photography: Nathaniel Chadwick Special thanks to The Lodge STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS Darryl Briggs, Gregg Case, Nathaniel Chadwick, Kent Gilley, Tim Gravens, Steven Hendrix, Matt Pearce, Jason Ryan, Ed Westerman CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Gloria Brumagen, The Bum, Dan Dailey, HouAstros 1989, David Goodspeed, Joe Lorenzini, Chuck Majors, Carl Van Vechten STAFF WRITERS Tony Barone, Vivian Fullerlove, Robin George, Eric Kendall, Frank LaCosta, Pat Moran, Richard S. Pollak, Craig Smith, Joe Stumpo, and Jesse Whitman CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Edward Biley Andrion, The Bum, Geoff Case, Cassie R. Cullins, Dennis Hambright, Andrew J. Hewett, Jack L. Pier, Sybil Summers ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Kelly G. Reed CONTACT US MAIN NUMBER 214-529-7370 FAX NUMBER 972-960-8618 kreed@blitzweekly.com BLITZ Weekly P.O. Box 295293, Lewisville, TX 75029
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VOL. 2 - ISSUE 43
June 23 - 29, 2010 3
QUOTE OF THE WEEK If there hadn’t been women we’d still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends. – Orson Welles May 1915 – October 1985
Police in western New York said two Canadian men attended a church festival and wound up in the woods drunk, naked and covered in mud. State police said troopers found a 22-year-old man from Hamilton, Ontario, sitting along a road in the town of Lewiston, just outside Niagara Falls, around 5:45 a.m. last Sunday. Troopers said he was caked in mud. After questioning him, troopers found a 23-year-old man from Hamilton covered in mud and passed out in a ditch nearby. Police said both men were highly intoxicated. Troopers say the men had attended the St. John de LaSalle Carnival last Saturday and afterward decided to make it a “Woodstock event” by dancing naked in the woods. Both men were taken to a local hospital where they were treated and released. Neither man was charged.
Andrew J. Hewett
Gorilla Tries To Use Branch To Flee Exhibit The North Carolina Zoo in Asheboro temporarily closed its gorilla exhibit after one of the apes nearly made a break for it. Zoo spokesman Tom Gillespie said a branch from a tree fell into the exhibit last Sunday. One female gorilla tried to use the branch as a ladder to climb out of the exhibit, but she didn’t make it. The exhibit remained closed Tuesday as staff horticulturists checked nearby trees for loose limbs. Zoo officials think the branch came down after being weakened by a storm Saturday.
Ice Cream Vendor Accused Of Threat In Turf Battle
Police said an ice cream vendor threatened another vendor with a knife and told her to get off his turf. The man acknowledged talking with the woman last Sunday in a cul-de-sac but denied making threats. Police found a knife in his truck and arrested him for investigation of assault. The Daily Herald of Everett reported the 51-year-old man appeared in District Court Monday and was ordered held on $25,000 bail. The woman said she didn’t think she was violating the unwritten code among vendors about where they sell frozen treats.
www.chewednews.com
SHE MUST’VE LEFT A BAD TASTE IN HIS MOUTH?
One of Chicago’s master butchers in the 1870s was Adolph Luetgert, whose ambition was to make his sausage famous. His dream came true after he was arrested for killing his wife, causing a rumor to spread he had made her into sausage. Though her body was in truth burned, this misinformation continued to spread, reducing the sales and consumption of all Chicago processed sausage greatly for several years. (Luetgert died in prison, less than two years after his life sentence began.)
THIS MAN HAD NO HEART
The Sioux Chief “Rain in the Face” admitted after the Battle of Little Big Horn in 1877, despite rumors he had cut the heart from the chest of General George Custer and ate it: “No! Me no eat ‘em! Me stick knife in, lick the blood, and throw heart away!”
THE DALLAS MORNING NEWS, JUNE 16, 2010, QUOTE:
“A Plano man charged in his mother’s death was caught with methamphetamine weeks earlier but was arrested instead on an outstanding warrant for not wearing a seatbelt.” (Page 1A)