VOL. 2 - ISSUE 35
Prostitute Tries to Proposition Police Chief BLITZ News Shorts Hollywood Profile/Movie Review Music: The English Beat Basketballics Anonymous Boxing: Mayweather vs. Mosley Mavs and Rangers News COVER STORY: Cinco de Mayo Cinco Latinas Party Catalyst: Tequila Where to Get Blitzed! BLITZ BABE: Mary The Stupidity Factor Food Review: Anamia’s Tex-Mex Blitz Toys The Fan Top 10 with Sybil Crossword / Jokes / Horrorscopes Last Call: Got To Wonder…
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PUBLISHER Kelly G. Reed EDITOR Jennifer Wayne CREATIVE DIRECTOR / WEBSITE / GRAPHIC DESIGN Damien William Mayfield COVER: Cover Photography: Kent Gilley Cover Models: Michelle Morris and Mona Marie Villarreal Special Thanks: Los Vaqueros West Restaurant CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Thierry Caro, Yu-Ping Chen, Cristiano Del Riccio, Raffaele Fiorillo, Manny Flores, Jerome Patrick, Angelo De La Paz, Sergio Savarese, Alain Zirah PHOTOGRAPHERS Darryl Briggs, Gregg Case, Nathaniel Chadwick, Kent Gilley, Tim Gravens, Matt Pearce, Jason Ryan, Ed Westerman CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Bob Allen, Edward Biley Andrion, Tony Barone, Geoff Case, Vivian Fullerlove, Robin George, Rich Hancock, Dennis Hambright, Andrew J. Hewett, Eric Kendall, Peggy Kilpatrick, Frank LaCosta, Jason Miller, Pat Moran, Richard S. Pollak, Craig Smith, Joe Stumpo, Sybil Summers, Jennifer Wayne and Jesse Whitman ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Kelly G. Reed CONTACT US MAIN NUMBER 214-529-7370 FAX NUMBER 972-960-8618 firstname.lastname@example.org BLITZ Weekly P.O. Box 295293, Lewisville, TX 75029
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Photo Courtesy: Alain Zirah
QUOTE OF THE WEEK “So, I’m the Eighth Wonder of the World. It’s flattering and very, very funny.” -- Eva Longoria
Authorities in Ohio said a prostitute picked the wrong person to proposition: a police chief. Police said the woman approached an unmarked police car in a parking lot and told the man inside that she had what he needed. It turns out the driver was the police chief in the northwest Ohio town. Chief John McGuire said he told the woman he was going to a bank to get money and instead picked up another officer to hide in the back seat. When they returned, the pair made the arrest. The woman pleaded no contest last Thursday morning to soliciting prostitution and two drug-related charges and was sentenced to a total of 15 days in jail and $250 in fines. Court records show she had two prior convictions for prostitution.
Suspect Neck-Deep in Liquid Manure Pit
Police said that officers searching for a man wanted on methamphetamine charges found him hiding neck-deep in a liquid manure pit at a northeastern Indiana farm. Noble County sheriff’s deputies thought they’d lost the man until an officer spotted him in the tank beneath an outbuilding floor on the farm near Albion. Chief Deputy Doug Harp said the man, 52, had been neck-deep in the combination of hog and dog feces for at least an hour last Tuesday evening. He later became combative and had to be shocked twice with a stun gun. The suspect was treated at a hospital for hypothermia before he being taken to jail. A Steuben County magistrate last Wednesday ordered the suspect held without bail because he missed court hearings in February and March.
Homeless Woman Charged in ‘Curiosity’ Blaze
Police said in court papers that a homeless woman who wanted to see “how fast a mattress could burn” set a fire that destroyed a central Pennsylvania apartment building. Nobody was hurt in last Tuesday night’s fire in Altoona, but at least five people were left homeless in the fire allegedly started by the 35-year-old woman. The woman was staying with people she knew when police said she used a lighter to set the fire in the attic of one of two apartments in the building. Police said she acknowledged setting the fire out of curiosity. The woman remained in the Blair County Jail last Thursday and faces a preliminary hearing April 28 on arson and related charges.
Andrew J. Hewett
THE FIRST MOTHER’S DAY?
Emperor Nero was famous for his vanity and his cruelty, and living constantly in the fear of plots against him. He had hundreds of suspected enemies murdered, including his own mother, Agrippina.
A PRETTY “HEADY” THING TO DO
For nearly 60 years Austrian composer Franz Joseph Haydn (1732-1809) had his head stored in a cupboard in the Museum of the Vienna Academy of Music. He was buried, without it, after two of his friends bribed the gravediggers to let them keep it.
NO WASH-AND-WEAR FOR THIS GUY
Archduke Franz Ferdinand, nephew of Emperor Franz Josef and heir to the Austrian throne, was fussy about his appearance. In order to appear crease-free, he had his clothing sewn on his body, then the buttons added for decoration. When he was shot by an assassin in Sarajevo on June 28, 1914, he bled to death while his staff tried to cut him out of his clothing. (His death literally precipitated World War I.)
BLITZREVIEWS By: Joe Stumpo - www.darthstumpo.com
with Jennifer Lopez
by: Vivian Fullerlove “Entertainment’s Real Critic”
Jennifer Lopez has done it all…very well, might I add. Jenny from “tha block” started her career as an In Living Color “Fly Girl” and has never stopped moving on up! From hit records to hit movies, to one of the hottest moms in Hollywood, J. Lo came, saw and conquered the entertainment industry in many, many ways. After taking some time off to get married to Latin crooner Marc Anthony and have a couple of babies, she is back on the big screen doing what she does best in the new romantic comedy The Back-Up Plan. Lopez plays a woman who meets the man of her dreams and decides to have a baby, only not in that order! We sat down with her to discuss her new movie and how she feels about getting back to work. You’ve played a mom in many of your past movies, but it had to be a little different experience for you this time. Having just gone through my own experience of having babies for the first time, it definitely rang true for me. All the little jokes about what it is to be pregnant and being tired and hormonal and all the weird things that happen to you and how hungry you are and how tired you are; I knew exactly what it was. How was it going back to work after so much time off? I loved it. I love being back to work. It’s always been a big part of who I am and to have left it for a couple of years to have my own kids has been a big deal for me. So, to get back has been the best, a really happy time. I love having my kids on the set, and they’ve been a really big part of the movie for me behind the scenes. It’s been amazing.
And you are a really terrific comedic actress to me. Is comedy something that just comes naturally for you or do you have to work at “being funny” when you take on a film like this one? I like pushing and finding what else we can make funny in the scene. When you do things like stuffing your mouth and doing all that kind of stuff, you don’t want to do the same things you’ve always seen done before. You want to try and bring something new and fresh to it and real. What always makes comedy funny is that there’s some reality to it. That’s what makes people laugh. The Back Up Plan is playing now in theatres nationwide. The film is rated PG13 for some sexual content and language. For all of this week’s new releases and more of your favorite celebs, check out my show Reel Critics on Time Warner Cable Video on Demand under the North Texas Programming Tab! You can also check us out online at www.reelcriticstv.com!
KICK-ASS I don’t mind mindless, cartoonish violence. The trouble with Kick-Ass, in which a nerdy high school kid named Dave (Aaron Johnson) gets inspired to become a superhero crimfighter named “Kick-Ass” as a result of the comic books he avidly reads, is that fantasy and reality don’t mix. Kick-Ass’ sudden popularity gives a widowed father and former police officer code-named “Big Daddy” (Nicholas Gage) along with his 11-year-old daughter, codenamed “Hit Girl” (Chloe Grace Moritz), a reason to become superheroes themselves as a means to settle a vendetta they have against a local mobster (Mark Strong). The film boasts less than a handful of humorous scenes with mock references to Batman and Superman as Dave’s friends, who have no idea he actually is “Kick-Ass,” asking themselves if Kick-Ass and another overnight superhero sensation named “Red Mist” (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) were in a fight, who would win. It’s like listening to die-hard Star Wars geeks ask each other if Darth Vader went up against Darth Maul, who would be victorious, or to be more precise, Batman versus Superman. Unfortunately, every memorable sequence like that is quickly ruined by unsettlingly violent shots, for example of Dave’s
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superhero getting knifed by a bully. What starts out as fun with the sound of triumphant pulse-pounding music as a means to get viewers excited, ends with Dave almost dying in the hospital after being hit by a car. It’s like getting punched in the stomach. The film is no longer fun. Add to that several shots of Hit Girl delivering her own brand of vigilante justice to the bad guys, all of who eventually lie dead on the floor. There is something wrong when we see high school kids, in particular, an 11-yearold girl, acting out the same kind of blood thirsty violence that adult characters in movies do, like as though seeing someone crushed to death inside a trash compactor will have no effect on someone that young. I suppose I should be thankful that characters like Kick-Ass and Hit Girl killed off only the ones who had it coming to them. Their desire to become superheroes came from the comic books, if not from Big Daddy. At least they weren’t playing Doom and watching Natural Born Killers (1994) like the two young killers did as inspiration to murder fellow classmates at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado back in 1999 for no good reason.
5 by: Jason Miller “Music Enthusiast”
2. Doors of Your Heart
Ever had a Spinal Tap moment? Only on a day with a “Y” in it. It’s horribly accurate. Not finding your way from the dressing room to the stage and road crews putting arrows all the different way making you run through the boiler room. There are lots of “Hello, Cleveland” moments on the road. Probably a few more when it’s fueled by alcohol.
from Special Beat Service
4. Mirror in the Bathroom
from The Very Best of the Beat
5. Tears of a Clown
from I Just Can’t Stop It
from Special Beat Service
7. Twist & Crawl
from I Just can’t Stop It
8. Can’t Get Used to Losing You
from What is Beat?
9. Best Friend
from I Just Can’t Stop It
10. Too Nice to Talk To
from I Just Can’t Stop It
31-Cent Scoop Night Baskin Robbins Nationwide All flavors of ice cream are just 31 cents a scoop! Proceeds benefit the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation (NFFF) who support families and co-workers of fallen firefighters. 5 p.m. until 10 p.m.
Coheed and Cambria with Circa Survive & Torche Palladium Ballroom, Dallas Circa Survive is an experimental rock band featuring former Saosin vocalist Anthony Green. Green cites Paul Simon, dredg and Björk, as influences on the band’s sound. 7:30 p.m.
Texas Frightmare Weekend Grand Sheraton Hotel, Dallas The horror convention features special guest John Carpenter, director of the original Halloween, Escape from New York, The Thing and Big Trouble in Little China. The event runs through Sunday. www.texasfrightmareweekend.com
Stockyards Championship Rodeo Cowtown Coliseum, Fort Worth If you aren’t into the rodeo, maybe the frozen Jack and Cokes sold from the corner store are enough to entice you to take a stroll through the Stockyards. 8 p.m.
Nashville Pussy Skillman Street Pub 9220 Skillman Street, Dallas If the name isn’t enough…this hard rock band’s lyrics mostly revolve around sex, drugs, drinking and fighting. Stop by after church.
Do you have a favorite memory of touring past or present? We did this show opening for David Bowie and Saxa, our old saxophone player, was a bit mad because they hadn’t got his favorite beer in the refrigerator. Bowie came and said hello to us while he was in his stage clothes, wearing black pants and a black vest with a white shirt on. He comes in our trailer and says, “Really great to be doing some shows with you, I’m very pleased. I just wanted to check to see if everything is ok. Do you have everything you need?” Saxa, sitting in the back of the bus says (in a Jamaican accent) “Hay sonny boy come with me,” putting his arm around Bowie dragging him to the fridge. Saxa opens it up and says “You see any Red Stripe in there?” Bowie replies, “No, I don’t.” To which Saxa says, “Ah Sonny Boy, that’s what we need!” Bowie responds, “Right away,” and dashes out of the caravan. About 10 minutes later, another guy shows up with a case of Red Stripe. Saxa comments, “Nice man there, who is him anyway coming in the caravan like that?” and I said, “Well, that’s David Bowie!” Saxa replies, “Me thought he was a waiter!” It got into the papers in England, and they made a huge fuss about it. “David Bowie pays the price for looking like a New York waiter on stage.”
Cinco de Mayo Pre-Party Conditioning Frankie’s, Uptown Dallas or Lewisville Happy Hour from 11 a.m. until 7 p.m., featuring $1 off all drinks and $3 “Special-tinis.”
What is the oddest movie you have ever heard your music in? Kingpin, they used ‘Save It For Later.’ I remember the woman from the record company phoning me and saying we have a request for a license for Kingpin with Woody Harrelson. Well, I like Woody, so I said OK. Normally, you have them write down what’s in the scene, because you don’t want it to be a murdering of four children and they think your song is proper. I asked for what part of the film and she said, “It’s an Amish barnraising scene.” To which I replied, “That’s incredible, that is what the song was written about!” She said, “Really?” and I’m like, “No.”
3. Save It for Later
Has there ever been an English Beat tribute record? No, there hasn’t, but what a good idea. Michael Stipe said that he always loved the song “Drowning” and asked me at one point if he could cover it and I said yes. If there were a tribute record, I think him singing that song would be terrific. What’s the most unusual place you have heard your music? Elevators always strike me as odd. Especially if it’s one of those instrumental elevator music versions that you’ve never heard before. You have no idea how many nights I went to sleep crying with my acoustic guitar writing this thing; I didn’t do it for this. Then privately you’re like, it must be really famous that they’d make such a crap version. I’ve heard “Save It For Later” on a NASCAR roundup. I thought, that’s like a big star-spangled banner welcome mat; I feel part of this great nation right now.
from What is Beat?
MUSIC: The English Beat 1. Ackee 1-2-3
eminal British 2 Tone Ska revival band The English Beat had a string of hit singles in the early ‘80s, including classics such as “Mirror In The Bathroom” and “Save It For Later.” Singer/ songwriter/ guitarist and generally very nice guy Dave Wakeling is keeping the spirit alive and well. He currently tours as The English Beat performing in front of capacity crowds while keeping the dance floor moving and the connection with his audience stronger than ever. I was lucky enough to chat with the legendary “Skadfather” before a recent show.
NetParty Mantus Ultralounge, Dallas This party is geared towards business professionals in their 20’s and 30’s who want to do some business networking. Ok…so that’s what they are calling it these days. 6 p.m. until 10 p.m.
6 by: Jennifer Wayne
by: Edward Biley Andrion
“Foxie & Raised in the South”
Basketballics Anonymous What does one do when he needs a basketball fix? I am 31-years-old and have been playing for years. These last couple of weeks I have played in Hoop-It-Up, which, by the way, should be commonly referred to as “ThugIt-Up,” played in a tri-weekly recreation center game, and watched more NBA playoff basketball than I care to admit, which, of course, followed copious amounts of March Madness coverage. Needless to say, my fix is satisfied… or is it? Obviously, this has made me take a longer look at my basketball life. Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings, I wake up at 5 a.m. to travel 30 minutes to another city to play in a game I have played in off-and-on for nearly 10 years. It started when I was a college junior and a high school friend named Marlo was looking to head to the gym. I told him I would join him. We were both members of a youth group named “Youth for Christ.” The mornings become a fight club of sorts for the two of us. We called it YFCFC. While there, we encountered the game, which has now become something of legend. Imagine a game with no fights, no thugs (or if they were they were of the West Plano variety), no lazy play and enjoyment for all skill levels. The players come and go, but the game and “the count” (a lottery-style version for participation) go on. Ten years later, many of the guys who once joined Marlo and me for YFCFC, are married and seldom find time to play. After my youngest daughter started sleeping through the night, it was time for me to start
playing again. No matter how many aches and pains I have come to feel from Achilles injuries to back pain, my fix keeps calling. “Take up other sports,” advises my registered nurse mother, yet I press on. As it turns out, I am not the only one. Another former YFCFC member, James Edward, has played through broken fingers, bulging discs, deteriorating cartilage and slower reflexes. “When you’re young you think you’re unstoppable. Unfortunately, age catches up with you,” says Edward. The games and the offers come all the time. Last week, my sister, her friend, and the friend’s boyfriend went out to an uptown bar for karaoke. (Filipinos, which I count as one of my ethnicities, love to play basketball, study martial arts and sing.) Given the opportunity to fulfill a favorite Filipino pastime, I joined them. The singing was good. At the table, the boyfriend mentions he plays in a lawyers’ game on Wednesdays. We start chatting up players and teams and by the end of the night, I found another fiend. As it turns out many of us are basketball junkies. It does not matter what it is, whether you watch an ESPN Classic game that played out 25 years ago and you already know the ending or you watch every minute of the NBA playoffs. The fix never goes away. Email me and I will tell you where to meet me Friday in the a.m. Edward is an entrepreneur who also works as a sports and entertainment consultant with Biley Andrion Consulting Group.
Having a dad from Kentucky means two things: a) I knew who Jamal Mashburn was before he became a Dallas Maverick; and b) I know way too much about horse racing. So this is the week that I get a phone call from my Grandma (just simply “Ma”) from Louisville telling me which horse’s name has been drawn out of a hat for me at their house. This is how we “gambled” on the Derby when we were little because…well…betting is illegal when you are 6-years-old. Twenty years later, though, we still do it this way. And I am still as anxious as ever to see if I win Ma’s $20 bill. In honor of my Kentucky roots, I want to share with you the history of a part of the Derby tradition known as the Mint Julep. I have provided a timeline for you along with a recipe. 1803: The first appearance of a mint julep in print. London author John Davis published a work that described it as “a dram of spirituous liquor that has mint steeped in it, taken by Virginians of a morning.” Sometime in the mid 1820’s: Senator Henry Clay of Kentucky introduced the drink to Washington, D.C., at the Round Robin Bar in the famous Willard Hotel. 1938: The mint julep starts its tradition at the Kentucky Derby. Each year, about 120,000 juleps are served at Churchill Downs dur-
The Mint Julep What you’ll need: • 3 ounces of Buffalo Trace Bourbon • 4-6 sprigs mint leaves • granulated sugar to taste Instructions: Put mint, sugar, and a small amount of crushed ice into the bottom of a tall glass. Add Bourbon, top off with more shaved ice and stir well. I like to add ginger ale instead of sugar, but try the authentic way first! ing the Kentucky Oaks and the Kentucky Derby. Around 1991: The Early Times Mint Julep Cocktail is designated the “official mint julep of the Kentucky Derby.” 2006: Churchill Downs served custom-made mint juleps for $1,000 each. The mint juleps were served in gold-plated cups with silver straws. The drink was made with mint imported from Ireland, ice from the Bavarian Alps and sugar from Australia. The proceeds benefitted retired race horses. 2008: Churchill Downs unveiled the world’s largest mint julep glass. The 6-foot tall glass was constructed from FDA food-grade acrylic, heated and molded into the shape of an official 2008 Derby glass. It had a capacity of 206 gallons.
The boxing world did not get Mayweather vs. Pacquiao after all, so we have to settle for the next best thing, (40-0-0, 25 KOs) Floyd Mayweather, Jr., will go into this weekend’s WBA Super World Welterweight mega-showdown as the sports betting odds favorite to defeat (46-5-0, 39 KOs) Shane Mosley. Sugar Shane and his trainer surely have a plan to beat Mayweather. The question is, what makes this plan any different from the 40 other plans that were laid out and failed? If Floyd wants to control the tempo of his match against Mosley, he needs to be able to double up his jab and keep Mosley at bay, and find three and four punch combinations to keep Shane off balance. If Mosley is allowed inside, it is entirely likely this fight will become a toss up. Look for the first few rounds to be a mental battle, with both fighters trying to find their stride and establish a winning rhythm that will carry them the rest of the fight. Mayweather will try to make
“The Senior Sports Authority”
Mosley look bad by counter-punching him and sneaking out of the way when Shane loads up for his power shots. However, Floyd can’t cover up and pot shot all night, or he will end up on the losing side of the scoring. As long as Mosley shore’s up his defense while applying pressure, he will have some success by outworking Floyd. Mayweather is more about quality than quantity, meaning he prefers to throw smart, efficient punches that land with great accuracy rather than unleashing 100 punches in a round with a lower connect percentage. It’s hard to speculate if this strategy will work because Mosley has more power than most of the opponents Mayweather has faced in the last few years. A scrappy fight could favor Mosley. However this fight goes down, these are two men in their 30’s, bringing up the rear in the old guard of the sport, both on their way out of the spotlight, love them or hate them. This writer predicts a split-decision win for Mayweather, 7 rounds to 5.
The Meaning of “Thanks”
Photo Courtesy: Manny Flores
by: Tony Barone
Last week during the NFL draft, many men became instant millionaires as their names were called. Many had plans of what they wanted to do with their money. Some will buy cars or buy their parents a house, but I doubt anyone will do what Ndamukong Suh is doing. The defensive tackle from the Nebraska Cornhuskers was awarded about as many trophies as a defensive player can win last year as a senior. He appreciates what Nebraska has done for him and the opportunities it has afforded him. As a projected top-five player he knew he would soon be signing a big contract, so before he was ever drafted he decided to give back. On April 20th, before almost 80,000 fans attending the spring Nebraska football game at Memorial Stadium, Suh made a stunning announcement. The fans sensed something big was about to happen as both teams left their sidelines to gather around Suh at midfield. A video was played of Suh announcing he was donating $2 million dollars to the athletic department and $600,000 to the Nebraska School of Engineering. The money for the School of Engineering will be used to establish a scholarship fund. He pledged this money before
by: Craig Smith “Sportsologist” - email@example.com
ever signing a contract, which was five days before the draft. He wanted to do something unique that would leave his name behind at the school he graduated from only four months earlier. This was the biggest donation ever by a Nebraska football player. It is one of the biggest ever for an active pro athlete to his alma mater. Suh was considered to be one of the best, if not the best player, in this year’s draft. Mel Kiper, Jr., says, “…may be the most dominating defensive tackle I’ve seen in 32 years.” Texas fans remember Suh, who was a terror during last season’s Big 12 Championship where he had 4.5 sacks and 12 tackles, seven of them for losses. He became the first defensive player ever to win AP Player of Year. He finished fourth in the Heisman voting. He won quite a few awards, including the Outland Trophy, the Lombardi Award and the Bronko Nagurski Trophy. Of all he has accomplished, his biggest accomplishment may be off the field. He has defined the meaning of “Thanks.” A gifted athlete has truly shown his gratitude to a school that helped pave his way.
NBA: Utah vs Denver Wed, April 28 – 9:30 PM – Pepsi Center – TNT Utah leads the series against Denver 3-1...but they’re traveling into the Lion’s Den. We all know from the Mavs situation that teams down 3-1 have a slim chance to come back. If Carmelo Anthony can explode with another game, like his 42 points in game one, they might have a chance.
NBA: Milwaukee vs Atlanta Wed, April 28 – 7 PM – Philips Arena – TNT The series is tied up at 2 each and the last 2 games went to Milwaukee…with the Bucks delivering a serious shock to Atlanta. Carlos Delfino is on fire and the Hawks will have to get his number to have a chance to pull out a victory in Milwaukee. The Hawks are also missing star center, Andrew Bogut, which makes matters worse.
MLB: Chicago vs Texas Wed, April 28 – 7:05 PM – Rangers Ballpark – FS SW The Rangers’ Rich Harden will take the mound. Hopefully, he can get enough playing time to earn his first win and maybe even put an end to the bad hype that came with his signing. That may be hard to do facing the Sox’ red hot Paul Konerko, who is currently leading the AL in homers.
MLB: Texas vs Seattle Fri, April 30 – 9:10 PM – Safeco Field – TXA 21 After enjoying seven games at home, the Rangers are on the road again landing in the Mariners’ Safeco Field. The Rangers won their first series against the Mariners 2-1. The Mariners are shorthanded right now and only have one notable threat, Franklin Gutierrez, hitting a solid .375 right now. However, the Rangers should easily sweep this series since they have more offensive weapons.
Photo Courtesy: Yu-Ping Chen
Mayweather Looks to Stay Perfect
by: Geoff Case “NBA Analyst”
Blow up the Mavs? Not yet. The Mavericks world is crashing down all around them, but there is some hope on the horizon. The next few seasons, we should see a new face take the reins of the franchise. The summer of 2010 free agent bonanza might bring a true top-tier player to play along Nowitzki, something he’s never had in his career. If that happens, you can expect the Mavs to reload and try and piece together another championship roster in the next few years. The Mavericks are no strangers to spending money, but they are way over the salary cap. How can they manage this? The way the organization has laid out Erick Dampier’s contract it makes the Mavericks players in the summer of 2010 by way of a sign and trade. Damp’s contract is very marketable because there is no buyout required to waive him creating instant cap relief for the team acquiring him. For the team losing the superstar player, it becomes a more attractive offer because they would actually get something in return by saving millions of dollars to either rebuild their roster or go after their own free agent. The Mavericks might have to ship some players the other way but would get in return a true superstar that could be paired next to Nowitzki. I must give props to Mike Fisher and DallasBasketball.com
for discovering this little tidbit in the fine print. The Mavericks already have another star blooming on the roster in Rodrique Beaubois so if they can develop his game or get an established drive and dish superstar this summer, then the Mavericks are right back on track. It’s very important to go after someone in free agency with the skill set that would complement Nowitzki’s game. The Mavericks must get someone that can penetrate and create opportunities for open looks if the easy baskets aren’t there. As Dirk enters the twilight of his career, he can become a very dangerous spot-up shooter and the best way to get open looks is by getting someone that can pressure the defense to collapse inside. The Mavericks don’t necessarily need to get a tier one free agent but they are going to have multiple options to retool this roster. My purpose is not to critique Dirk’s game, but to enlighten you how rare his ability is and how difficult it is for the Mavericks to build a functioning team around him. It’s not easy to allow a big man to shoot outside jumpers. It’s even harder to try and build a team around something based on that concept but Dirk is so great offensively it’s feasible to believe you could.
RANGERS:News Road Trip from Hell
No team wants to see an itinerary with a trip to Yankee Stadium followed up by one to Fenway Park. It proved to be a difficult trip as they went 1-5 in the two cities. They broke a six-game losing-streak with a 3-0 win Thursday over Boston behind another strong pitching performance from C.J. Wilson. He earned his first victory as a starter and didn’t give up any runs. The road trip also proved to be a costly one for Chris Davis. He has had another bad start to the season at the plate. In 48 at bats, he struck out 17 times, only drew 5 walks and batted a woeful .188. He is an excellent defensive first baseman, but the Rangers can’t afford him being a liability at the plate. He was demoted back to Oklahoma City after the Boston series and former first round pick Justin Smoak was called up to make his Major League debut. Smoak was hitting .300 in Oklahoma City and drew 16 walks in 15 games. In his first three games with the Rangers, he didn’t get a hit but did draw four walks. On Monday though his first hit was a double. The 23-year-old switch-hitter is known as a patient hitter. The Rangers split the series with the Tigers. Vladimir Guerrero has hit safely in 51 out of 58 career games in Arlington. Ian Kinsler who has been out all season with a high ankle sprain is set to start a medical rehabilitation assignment this week with the Frisco Roughriders. He could join the team in Seattle if all goes well and hopefully make his season debut. Jarrod Saltalamacchia is still in Oklahoma City on his rehab assignment and after five games is still experiencing tightness in his back and shoulder.
by: Craig Smith “Sportsologist” - firstname.lastname@example.org
Photo Courtesy: Jerome Patrick
co de In honor of Cin out ed ck pi e Mayo, w inco â€œC te ri vo fa our hese T â€? Latina Hotties. top e th at ladies are eir th in e m ga of their ok lo industries and good doing it!
Photos by: Zoe Saldana/Cristiano Del Riccio, Eva Mendes/Thierry Caro, Dulce Maria/Sergio Savarese, Ingrid Rivera/Angelo De La Paz, Christina Aguilera/Raffaele Fiorillo
by: Bob Allen “Spirits and Such”
You probably don’t care that this devil nectar must be made of 51% Agave to be called “Tequila”. You probably don’t care that “Silver” is aged less than two months, if at all, or that “Oro” or “Gold” is a blend of Silver and either Reposado or Anejo, or that “Reposado” is aged 2 months to a year in Oak barrels, or that “Anejo” is aged one year to three years in Oak. You don’t even care about the Tequila Bar Suggestions: new category, “Extra Anejo,” that Cyclone Anaya’s on Oak Lawn near Cedar Springs must be aged over three years. You probably don’t care that “Tequila” Trece on Travis near Knox must be distilled in the state of Jalisco, Mexico. What you care RJ Mexican Cuisine in the West End about is what it tastes like, what is new and why does it cost so Agave Azul in Historic Carrollton (a true gem of much. a find) Tequila has come a long way in 30 years from a time when Blue Mesa on Northwest Hwy or other locations most bars had Cuervo Gold (no one really knew what it was made Great Website: tequila.net from) and Sauza was a distant second. Fast forward to 2010 with Save the Date! selections of up to 200 Tequilas National Tequila Day in the in some establishments. The United States: July 24th Mexican government has stepped up controls on the country’s largest cash cow. The classification of all Tequilas is now regulated and all distilleries must adhere to the guidelines of the Tequila Regulatory Council of Mexico. A fungus destroyed a large portion of the Agave crop in early 2000 which made the price skyrocket. Some distillers began producing a product called “Tequila Liqueur,” made from less than 51% agave. Many establishments now use this in their “House” or well Margaritas and believe me, there is a difference. You can still get a quality Tequila in a “House” Margarita, Bob Allen is a 30 year veteran so don’t be afraid to ask, you might be surprised (RJ of the Bar Industry with the Mexican Cuisine uses 1800 Silver). 22 years at the West End Pub. Extra Anejo Tequilas are the finest and should be Find more information on him enjoyed in a snifter or similar offering. Gone is the and his Pub at bite and harshness of silver and gold varieties. “Gran www.westendpubdallas.net. Patron Burdeos”, 110 Proof, finishes its aging process in Bordeaux barrels from France and is bottled in unleaded crystal, (i.e. Louis XIII) and ends up with flavors of vanilla, raisins and the finest dried fruits. The cost? Up to $500 for .750 Ltr. There are hundreds of Extra Anejos now on the market starting at $35. The most ever paid for a bottle of distilled spirits was $225,000 for a bottle of Passion Azteca Anejo Tequila. Try sampling Reposados and Anejos in a snifter to find the ones to your liking. Prices vary from $20 to around $200 and price does not always mean greatness. Some suggestions are El Viejo Luis, Don Lunnas, Sausa Commemrotivo and the new Cuervo Extra Anejos. Just an idea, in Germany and other European countries, they drink Anejos with a lick of cinnamon and finish with a bite of fresh orange.
Cinco de Mayo, Spanish for “the fifth of May,” celebrates the defeat of the French at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862. But whether you are Latina, Latino or a “Gringo,” this day means it’s time to party! Here are some of the places our Blitz staff is…ummm…getting Blitzed! When: Saturday, May 1. The festival is from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. “Big Parade” starts at 11 a.m. Where: Historic downtown Oak Cliff. The festival is on the 600 block of W. Jefferson Blvd. The Big Parade begins on Cumberland Street at E. Jefferson Blvd. and ends at 800 W. Jefferson Blvd. at Vernon Street. The D’s: The Big Parade is the largest Cinco de Mayo parade in North Texas with over 20,000 people in attendance. The event includes marching bands, folkloric dance groups, school groups and much more. The festival will feature Latin Jazz, Tejano and Spanish Rock. When: Saturday, May 1. 11 a.m. until 11 p.m. Where: Market Street in the West End, Dallas. The D’s: This party will actually be the only Dallas stop on the Chickenfoot “Virtual Tour.” Yes, it’s a virtual concert. Chickenfoot features rock legends: Sammy Hagar, Michael Anthony, Joe Satriani and Chad Smith. The “Virtual Tour” features a high def screening of Chickenfoot’s 2009 Phoenix concert on a 20 foot screen. The Bud Light Main Stage also includes local bands: Romallice, Anthony & Sara Garcia Duo, Romo Band, Israel and Sweet Sound Band, Troubaderos and Sometime After. The Fiesta Stage features Dallas dance groups performing dances from all regions of Mexico, Central and South America. An evening street dance with salsa lessons and mariachi bands make it a true Mexican fiesta. The Fiesta Stage line-up includes: Anita M. Martinez Ballet Folklorico, Bryan Adams HS Mariachi Band, Bryan Adams HS Ballet Folklorico, Ballet Folklorico Huehuecoyotl, Ballet Folklorico de Dallas, Ollimpaxqui Ballet, Sandunga Dance Co. and Mariachi 90 When: Wednesday, May 5. 6 p.m. until “the tequila is gone.” Where: Knox Street Pub, 4447 McKinney Ave, Dallas. The D’s: This is the 2nd annual Cinco de Mayo block party in Uptown hosted by Knox Street Pub. It features live music, tacos and margaritas made with Herradura Tequila Blanco. When: Wednesday, May 5. 8 a.m. – 2 a.m. Where: Duke’s Original Roadhouse (Addison and Bedford Locations) The D’s: They start off the morning at 8 a.m. with Breakfast Burritos, Bloody Marys & Mexican Beers. Participate in Tortilla Wars, Donkey Basketball or try riding “El Toro” the Mechanical Bull. You can also sit back and enjoy Live Music, Mariachis, and a special appearance by The Sanchez Sisters. Can you say…Arriba! When: Friday, May 7. 10 p.m. until 2 a.m. Where: Skye Bar, 1217 Main St, Dallas. The D’s: Red, white or green attire is strongly recommended. Different drink specials throughout the night, including $4 shots all night long and $3 domestics. DJ Onyx is the special guest.
THE STUPIDITY FACTOR 1. P
eople are stupid. Not just a random few, but packs and herds and flocks and swarms of them. They’re everywhere. They’re like roaches skittering across a nasty counter top in a ghetto apartment. But with stupid people, when you flick on the light, they don’t scatter and hide. They bunch up and wave their little arms and antennae and screech, “Look at us! We’re stupid, and we’re proud of it!” Celebrities hold ‘Stupid-A-Thons’ and say, “They’re so cute and mistreated, so let’s help them because we’re stupid too, but we’re rich, so surely we know what’s best.” Politicians crank out money from the magic-money-printing-press and lobby for the ‘stupid vote’ because…well, it’s not their money anyway, so why not give it away in truck loads? There’s a big difference in being ignorant and being stupid. If you don’t know enough about something to understand it, then you’re just ignorant; and that’s tolerable…a little bit. But if you know better, and you still ignore facts and logic and commons sense, and do it anyway, then you’re just plain old stupid. Like Forest Gump’s mama said, “Stupid is as stupid does.” Brother, stupid is doing it big time these days. Stupidity is spreading like one of those monkey viruses in the movies. Pet a monkey, sneeze on an airplane, and abracadabra, half the world is infected. But stupidity isn’t something made up in the movies. It’s real; it’s dangerous; and it’s spreading faster than any ‘monkey-bug’ because lots of stupid people have a driver’s licenses and kids, so they’re mobile and they’re reproducing. Rampant stupidity seems accepted these days for two big reasons. It works, and we tolerate it. Here’s a couple of ‘Stupidity Factor’ winners:
13 by: Dennis Hambright www.dennishambright.com
The Lawsuit Lottery:
Spill hot coffee on your lap, and BAM, you win a million bucks. Stick your hand in a grinder, and if there’s no sign that says, “Hey Stupid, Don’t Stick Your Hand In The Grinder,” then BAM, you win a million bucks. Smoke like a runaway locomotive, and even if the warning label says, “Smoking is Dangerous to Your Health,” if you get sick, then sue, BAM, you win a million bucks. I think judges should have the power to look at some of these morons and say, “BAM…you’re stupid…get out of my courtroom!”
2.The Bart Simpson Syndrome: “I didn’t do it, man!” was cute for a cartoon character, or
a four-year-old holding the hair clippers and a bald cat. But grown-ups should be ashamed to utter those words. If you bought a car or a house you can’t afford, and they repossess it, you should lose it. If you invest in some hairbrained turtle ranch, hoping to make a 10,000% return, and it craters, then you should lose your money. Hey, Stupid, you did it! Take responsibility. Why should Uncle Sam bail you out?
3.Waa-Waa-I-Can’t-Get-A-Job: There’s a big difference in not being able to get a job,
and not being willing to do what it takes to get a job. You know, like getting educated and qualified and be presentable…and willing to actually work. If you drop out of high school, get Deputy Dawg tattooed on the side of your neck, sport a lime green Mohawk, and say you like to party and have some ‘fundamental aversions’ to coming in before 10:30 a.m., you might be correct in your assumption that, “Nobody will hire me because they don’t like me.” Waa-Waa! You’re right, Stupid, they don’t like you! Now, go put on your green smock and enjoy your career selling Slurpees, until you’re ready to grow up!
The Exercise Guide for the Lazy
by: Jesse Whitman “A Woman’s Perspective”
Are you the kind of person who feels allergic to exercise? Do you only run when someone is chasing you? It seems in the past 20 years that paying for a gym membership monthly has become as common as paying rent or a phone bill. For a lot of people, it is part of the weekly or even daily regimen. However, many of us have not been able to stay on that bus. Some of us avoid gyms because of social anxiety, but really it’s because we hate working out. For those of us who don’t really get that high from putting in an hour of cardio and hitting the free weights, the gym sucks. On the other hand, it’s important to respect that fact that exercise is vital for good health, especially if you are suffering from fatigue and weight gain. This little 8-point guide notes a few exercises that can be done at anytime during your daily routine without you even noticing. Sidewalk Calf Muscle Stretch: When you’re waiting for the walk signal, take a few minutes with each foot on the curb and press your heal down for a nice calf stretch. This will open up the muscles and prevent shin splints from too much walking.
The Butt-Toner: Whenever you’re waiting in line, squeeze your butt for five seconds ten times in sets of three. This will tone your bottom and give you something to do.
Chase Your Dog: Pooches love to play chase, and before you can say “Spot,” you’ll be working up a sweat with all those quick sprints.
Walk to Work: If you can, try walking to work. It’s less stressful than a commute, plus you’ll save on gas and have another hour or so per day of exercise.
Stretch & Squat: Sitting at a desk all day long in front of a computer keeps your body idle. Get off your chair and do some basic leg stretches and some squats. It gets your heart pumping. If you don’t want to get up just lean back in your chair and reach for your opposite shoulder blade and pull your elbow toward the back of your head.
Water Cooler Yoga: So you work at an office and you get coffee and chat with your fellow workers about the game last night. Try doing it standing on one leg. Balance is critical and you are strengthening muscles while you are at it.
Sex: You would be surprised how many calories you can burn in one session. Once a day is a great alternative to a once a week aerobics class, plus it’s more fun. If you aren’t getting a natural high off that then there is something seriously wrong with you.
Self Control: A little extra tip at the end of the evening when it’s too late and you are too tired to even think about exercise. Try that ultimate motion of not reaching for food after 8 o’clock. Have a glass of water instead.
by: Peggy Killpatrick
“Girl with Taste”
1900 Long Prairie Rd. Flower Mound - 76022 972.874.7892 - www.anamias.com
Growing up in Arizona, I pretty much lived off amazing Mexican food, so when I moved to Texas, I knew I needed to find a new favorite restaurant that would fulfill my constant Mexican food cravings. You’d think that would be easy, considering Texas is home to hundreds of Tex-Mex restaurants, but it was a lot harder than I thought considering how picky I am about Mexican food. The first time I found Anamia’s, I felt at home. I had found that perfect restaurant to fulfill my needs. Anamia’s (named for the owner’s wife Ana and their daughter Mia) started its humble beginnings in Coppell in 1996, where its doors are still open. In 1999, the restaurant expanded to Flower Mound, which is my personal favorite location. Situated in such a suburban city, Anamia’s offers an escape from that, with it’s wrought iron chandelier, vibrant paintings, and modern, yet warm atmosphere; it’s a perfect place to have a casual family dinner or a night out on the town with your friends. In 2001, Anamia’s opened their beautiful Southlake location and created an exquisite atmosphere that anybody can enjoy. Of course, their food is the main reason why this Tex-Mex restaurant is so successful. On the website, Jay Ortiz, the owner, explains how they are a family-owned and operated restaurant and when you eat at Anamia’s, you can definitely feel the familyfriendly atmosphere. It’s very laid back, yet you can dress up and not feel out of place. The restaurant has a very relaxed vibe to it, and the prices of food and drinks are reasonable. Most of the items on the menu are
named after Ortiz family members, family friends and employees. Anything you order on the menu, you are guaranteed to love and will want to come back for more. My personal favorite? Chicken Chimichanga covered in creamy queso. And their Queso Con Cherizo is a must order--thick and creamy melted jack cheese mixed with a little bit of spicy Mexican sausage. You can also order guacamole, which they make right in front of you! Menu items are around $7 to $10, unless you order the Fajitas, which are around $16. I do have one concern. Depending on how mild or hot you like your salsa…it doesn’t matter at Anamia’s because they only have two kinds…hot and very hot. If you’re like me and you like mild salsa (pretty much tomato juice), then don’t get your hopes up because their “mild” salsa is not mild at all. The restaurant offers a full bar. Margaritas can be pretty hit or miss depending on the Mexican restaurant, but the Anamia’s Signature Margarita is a definite hit! They don’t just splash a little bit of tequila in the drink like other restaurants and they don’t rip you off, either. You can get a big margarita on the rocks or frozen for just about $9. Anamia’s Tex-Mex has been praised by many people, newspapers and customers for their friendly customer service, laid-back atmosphere and delicious and one-of-a-kind Mexican food and drinks. Having three locations to choose from, you have no excuses to not try it out, and maybe let it become your new favorite restaurant in town.
When you hear the words “Fiskars” and “mower” used together, you might imagine a treacherous fraterinty gag in which a pledge is forced to trim the grass using nothing but a pair of two-bladed cut-ups, but as it turns out, the company makes real mowers, and damn fine ones at that. The Fiskars Momentum Reel Mower uses the company’s InertiaDrive technology to store energy until added power is needed while also reducing friction and blade wear, and also offers the greatest cutting range of any reel mower thanks to a forward-mounted cutting reel and long wheel base. And since it’s people-powered, it’s also among the greenest mowers you can buy. Price - $250 Despite the company’s reputation for nostalgic, grandparent-friendly designs, the Crosley Revolution isn’t a wooden turntable with looks from the middle of last century. Far from it, in fact: the Revolution is a novel new turntable that leaves most of the record exposed thanks to a compact, sleek design. Able to be powered by batteries, the Revolution is highly portable, and features a rubberized finish, two speeds, a USB port for analog-to-digital conversion, dual headphone jacks, built-in stereo speakers, and a carrying case. Price - $150 Sony might not have an iPod killer, but they do have something Apple doesn’t: a water resistant MP3 player. The Sony W250 Waterproof Walkman is a pill-shaped player available in a 2GB capacity, and offering built-in 13.5mm EX in-ear headphones, MP3, WMA, and AAC playback, up to 11 hours of battery life, an included charging/docking stand, and water resistance to keep your music going at the gym, in the rain, or even in the shower, if you’re the type that likes to wear headphones as you wash. Price - $60
by: Rich Hancock email@example.com
By: Sybil Summers
10. Gennifer Flowers - 24 years older and still hotter than Monica Lewinsky! 9. Ashley Dupre - She spits Eliot and he Spitzer. 8. Oksana Something Russian - Mel Gibson left his wife of 29 years for this pianist. She was reportedly good with organs too. 7. Rebecca Loos - David Beckham’s fling lives up to her name! 6. Sienna Miller - In a weird role reversal, Sienna went from Jude Law’s cheatee to Balthazar Getty’s co-cheater. 5. Jamie Jungers - Tiger’s fourth mistress is such an expert, she’s been slated to host a celeb cheating reality show. 4. Angelina Jolie- She and Brad Pitt still deny they ever acted on urges while he was married to Jennifer Aniston, but how do you explain Billy Bob Thornton breaking off his engagement to Laura Dern to elope with Jolie? Just a whim? 3. Diana Bianchi - Christie Brinkley is old enough to be her mother. Can ya blame Peter Cook for giving in to temptation? 2. Vanessa Lopez - Shaq’s former lover would have ranked higher but hiring Gloria Allred knocked her down a rung. 1. Loredana Jolie Her spread for Tiger Woods got her more attention than her spread for Playboy. Zing!
FUNNIES Q: How is a blonde like peanut-butter? A: They spread for the bread. Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad? A: Senator.
Q: Why is it called PMS? A: Because “Mad Cow Disease” was already taken. Q: What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. At the Bar Three women were sitting in a bar (a brunette, red head, and a blonde); they were all pregnant. The brunette says, “I know what I’m going to have.” The other two asked how she knew. She replied, “Well, I was on top when I conceived, so I will have a boy.” The red head said, “If that is true then I will have a girl because I was on the bottom when I conceived.” The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, “PUPPIES, PUPPIES!”
ACROSS: 1. Detecting by radio waves 6. In addition 10. Information 14. Express a thought 15. Fluff from a dryer 16. Weightlifters pump this 17. Stupefy 18. Assistant 19. Make melodious sounds 20. Extreme fatigue 22. Sheet of glass 23. Regret 24. Carpentry tool 26. A US spacecraft (1960’s) 30. Aromatic solvent 32. False god 33. Rip 35. 9 9 9 9 39. Tummy 41. Blvd. 42. Performance platform 43. Endow 44. Fortuneteller 46. Majestic 47. Sail supports 49. Not the youngest 51. It’s ruled by an empress
54. Summer refresher 55. Horse color 56. Effervescent 63. Seaweed 64. Margarine 65. Brilliance 66. Chair 67. Require 68. Poison 69. Slave 70. Expunge 71. Holdup DOWN: 1. Gown 2. Culminating point 3. Plate 4. Dwarf buffalo 5. Bring back 6. Dish 7. Fifty-three in Roman numerals 8. Cancel 9. Stink 10. Demoralized 11. Operatic solos 12. 1000 kilograms 13. Cherub
21. Legal action 25. Female chickens 26. Taunt 27. Biblical garden 28. Cast 29. Shed light on 30. Overhangs 31. Tall woody plant 34. Where the sun rises 36. Back of the neck 37. Auspices 38. Religious offshoot 40. 365 days 45. Start over 48. 1/60th of a minute 50. Duration 51. Delete 52. Double agents 53. Heathen 54. Dwelling 57. Sheltered, nautically 58. Anagram of “Leer” 59. Found in skin lotion 60. Cab 61. Goddess of discord (Greek mythology) 62. Depression
“You have got to wonder...”
“Man on his Throne” - firstname.lastname@example.org
This is not just a problem of Ben’s, but rather, a problem that encompasses every athlete, celebrity or person in power...We don’t know truly what happened and we probably never will. But it’s never been a question of fault. The fault will always land squarely on the shoulders of those who with power who abuse it, and deservedly so. It’s simple. Stay out of trouble, don’t do anything stupid and grow the hell up. It’s a recipe for success that everybody needs to try.
Photos Courtesy: Yu-Ping Chen
Has Ben Roethlisberger been oblivious to all the scandals that have been playing out over every single piece of media this last year? I mean, every man, woman, child and beast knows about all about the exploits and fall from grace of Tiger Woods, Jesse James and countless other famous people. But somehow it seems that Big Ben missed all of it....somehow. He must have right? How else does one of the most famous football players in the world get himself into this crap? This guy represents everything that is wrong with the sport-celebrity world. Now, I’m not here to debate whether or not he is guilty or innocent. That’s up to people who are paid a lot more than I am to analyze and figure out what the hell went on. No, the problem is that these people need to know better. It doesn’t take a genius to know that if you take a millionaire Superbowl champ and dump him into a college bar, bad things are going to happen. This is an era of cellphone cameras, gossip websites and zero tolerance from the court of public opinion. Athletes are not deities. They do not walk on water. They do not get to do whatever they want, regardless of what they think or believe. You do not get to sleep with a woman if she does not want to, plain and simple.
by: Pat Moran
Published on Apr 27, 2010