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J-E-L-L-Uh-Oh: Gelatin, pudding cups spill in Iowa

Northern Iowa authorities say they’ve cleaned up a slippery mess after a tipped semi-trailer spilled Jell-O and pudding cups across a county road. The Floyd County sheriff’s office says 52 pallets of gelatin and pudding fell from the trailer when its top ripped open near Rudd early Tuesday. It took crews three hours to clean up the debris. The sheriff’s office says 39-year-old semi-trailer driver Eric Young of Charleston, S.C., wasn’t able to make a turn and went into the ditch where the rig rolled onto its side. Young and 32-year-old passenger Martin Brandon, of Bridgeport, Conn., suffered minor injuries. The Globe-Gazette in Mason City reports damage to the semi-trailer is estimated at $50,000.

BLITZ News Shorts 3 Hollywood Profile/Movie Review 4 Music: The Fantastic 80s 5 Stars News 6 Mavs News 7 Cowboys News 8 COVER STORY: Big 12 Championship Game SEC / ACC / C-USA Title Previews 9 Big 12 Title Preview 10-11 Big 12 Title Game History 10-11 BLITZ BABE: Brittni 12 Blitz Toys 13 4 Ways To Channel Your Genius 14 Interview with Jimmy Johnson 15 Blitz Food: Dee Lincoln’s Tasting Room 16 Crossword / Jokes / Horrorscopes 17 Last Call: The Present Face 18 PUBLISHER Kelly G. Reed EDITOR Jeff Putnam CREATIVE DIRECTOR / WEBSITE / GRAPHIC DESIGN Damien William Mayfield COVER Cover Photography: Manny Flores & Pat Green Cover Design: Damien William Mayfield STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS Darryl Briggs, Gregg Case, Nathaniel Chadwick, Steven Hendrix, Matt Pearce, Jason Ryan, Ed Westerman CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Don Bray, Eric Chan, Yu-Ping Chen, Manny Flores, David Goodspeed, Pat Green, Joe Lorenzini, Ben White, Pawel Zienowicz, Matt J. STAFF WRITERS Tony Barone, Geoff Case, Sam Chase, Vivian Fullerlove, Robin George, Frank LaCosta, Pat Moran, Richard S. Pollak and Jesse Whitman CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Joe Avezzano, Jay Betsill, David Goodspeed, Dennis Hambright, Andrew J. Hewett, Josh Lewin, Ryan Maffei, Jason Miller, Mark Miller CONTACT US MAIN NUMBER 214-529-7370 FAX NUMBER 972-960-8618 kreed@blitzweekly.com

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK Photo Courtesy: Pat Green

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VOL. 3 - ISSUE 14

December 1 - 7, 2010 3

“As long as you believe in what you’re doing and you stay on the path that you believe in, then you’re going to be fine. We’re going to stay focused no matter what.” – Bo Pelini

Firefighters on river rescue find floating dummy

Firefighters who were called to rescue someone from the Los Angeles River found themselves retrieving a real dummy. Fire Department spokesman Erik Scott says a 911 call sent firefighters to a section of the concrete channel in the San Fernando Valley on Wednesday morning. But rescuers didn’t find a flailing swimmer. They actually spotted a mannequin similar to those used as CPR training devices. Scott says a helicopter and a swift-water rescue team were dispatched. The chopper wasn’t needed but the firefighters waded into the water and retrieved the dummy so it wouldn’t prompt other calls. Scott says it’s unclear whether the mannequin got into the channel by accident or was part of a deliberate hoax.

Men hold up NY pizza-makers, flee with wrong dough

Police in New York City say thieves held up the owners of a pizzeria and then fled with a bag of full dough – the kind that crusts are made of. Police say Salvatore LaRosa was charged with robbery after surrendering to police. According to court papers, LaRosa and an accomplice followed the owners of Brothers Pizzeria on Staten Island. After donning masks, the papers say, they pointed guns and demanded the men turn over a bag they believed held the day’s proceeds. Instead, the bag was full of pizza dough. LaRosa was released on $1 million bail on Monday. His attorney, James Froccaro, declined to comment.

Andrew J. Hewett

www.chewednews.com

SHE’LL NEVER “WALK DOWN THE AISLE” FOR TWO REASONS

Rachelle Friedman and her fiancé Chris Chapman were to be married in June 2010 until a month earlier one of her bridesmaids shoved her into the shallow end of a swimming pool, leaving her paralyzed from the chest down. The wedding was called off because the couple’s combined incomes would stop Rachelle’s Medicaid checks, needed to pay for her constant care and rehabilitation.

HE LANDED BEFORE THE PLANE DID

Several days after Delvonte Tisdale, 13, failed to return to his new home in Charlotte, N.C., his badly crushed body was found on a street in Milton, Mass. By studying flight patterns of aircraft flying over the area, authorities determined young Tisdale had hidden in a commercial jet’s wheel well and fallen to his death when the landing gear was lowered.

PEOPLE ARE SHEEP

On Nov. 23, 2010, during Cambodia’s annual festival to celebrate the end of rainy season one of the thousands of partygoers streaming across a small bridge over the Bassac River made the mistake of saying, too loudly, “I think this bridge is falling”—causing the worst stampede in recent years, leaving at least 378 dead. According to the Associated Press, “most of the dead were suffocated, trampled or crushed to death.”


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4 December 1 - 7, 2010

HOLLYWOOD PROFILE with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

by Vivian Fullerlove “Entertainment’s Real Critic”

Dwayne Johnson is back on the big screen, and folks, he ain’t no tooth fairy in the new action, adventure movie Faster. This is the Dwayne Johnson that we all know and love. He’s spent the past few years doing fluffy, feel-good, family movies, but he is back with a vengeance, and he is kicking butt and taking names. In Faster, Johnson plays a man, newly released from prison, who has revenge on his mind.

It’s been a long time since we saw you kick some butt on the big screen.

I had waited for some time to get back into the action genre. I had left it for a couple of years. I wanted to work in the other genres. I wanted to do more drama, more family, more comedy as well. When this script came along about a year and a half or two years ago I read it and loved it. The story spoke to me. The character spoke to me. It was so well-written. I read it and immediately knew that I wanted to do it.

What was it about this story that was so compelling to you?

The first thing that spoke to me was just the character itself. I loved the idea that it was a story about two brothers who loved each other dearly, and one was ripped away from the other one. My character had to go away to prison for about ten years, and when he got out, the men responsible for killing his brother were going to suffer the consequences at his hands. Again, that’s a very distinctive, simple story-line, yet all the characters are layered with complexity and layered in truth and layered with complications. Every character has a great back-story and a great story of how they are all intertwined with each other in the story.

Do you think your character’s mission is a noble one?

Even in his darkest days, and he has a lot of them, he is described as being very righteous. I think that’s a powerful way to describe someone who is going out and seeking revenge and looking to kill a lot of bad men. Driver is not a skilled martial artist in any way, but he does have an animal instinct that can’t be denied. He has the ability to rip someone’s head off in a very powerful, simple way. And that about says it all! If you want to see Dwayne Johnson at his finest, you can check out Faster right now! The movie is in theatres nationwide. It is rated R for strong violence, some drug use and language.

by Ryan Maffei – “Perspectives on Film”

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS, PT. 1

As you probably know, the whole Harry Potter thing comes from a series of seven Roald Dahl-ish books about a boy who finds out he’s a wizard, goes to wizard school, and defeats an evil wizard (because, if the wizard thing wasn’t surprise enough, he also serves a sort of Jesus/Superman function for the entire global wizarding network. Tough, huh?) I happen to have read them all (via girlfriend coercion), and they’re okay – as intellectual fulfillment goes, somewhere between Judy Blume and Stephen King. But the sales rivaled popular works by Shakespeare and God, so Hollywood had to make them into myth. The degree to which sheer greed played a part in the process of bringing Potter to the screen is evident in how terrible these movies were up until the sixth one. Rowling’s books set their pace with moment after moment of cheap excitement, and she keeps her character’s never-too-complex relationships peppered with youthful drama. But the kids who play Harry and his generic coed friends Ron and Hermione seem to struggle constantly with the concept of acting – beyond contorting their faces into vague affectations of human emotion. Meanwhile, the scripts rarely attempt to deepen or improve upon Rowling’s vision, often worsening already weak dialogue and incoherently condensing its scope. None of this was helped by a having the

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director’s chair change hands so often. But after trying out arty Alfonso Cuaròn and pulpy Mike Newell, the series has settled on the less noted David Yates, and except for a dreary fifth film (The Order of the Phoenix), his work has far exceeded his predecessors’. The dark, vérité style he seems to favor dulls the CGI-saturated action scenes, but serves to bring out moments of humanity and emotion Rowling’s world always reads too artificially to yield. Much of the last movie, The Half-Blood Prince, was affecting and funny, and it’s great to see the leads playing Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) and Ron (Rupert Grint) loosen up and explore what it’s like to really inhabit a character. Previous films have found the main characters at wizarding school; in this one, they’re out on a high-stakes quest, which also helps to keep things interesting. A typical review would probably include a lot more plot information than this, but if you’re not already up-to-date, there’s far too much catching up involved for this space to accommodate. That’s the thing – if you reckon the latest Harry Potter film is worth ten dollars of your time, you’re probably some kind of fan already, something no amount of positive or negative criticism is going to affect. But no matter how many folks have gotten swept up in the Potter craze, most of us are in on the secret that you don’t need any magic to have a good time.


December 1 - 7, 2010 5

4) “Major Tom” (Coming Home) Peter Schilling Major Tom is a song by singer Peter Schilling from his album Error in the System. With a character unofficially related to “Major Tom,” the theme of David Bowie’s 1969 album Space Oddity, the song is about the character being caught in an accident in space. 5) “Destination Unknown” Missing Persons The band was founded in 1980 in Los Angeles by guitarist Warren Cuccurullo, vocalist Dale Bozzio, and drummer Terry Bozzio. Dale’s quirky voice and heavy makeup made the

11) “The Promise” - When in Rome When I lived in Houston several years ago I was with the Kings of Leon at a record store (way before they were megastars) and they had just purchased the Napoleon Dynamite soundtrack. This was the first song the band put on in my car as I drove them to their show that evening. Maybe they should cover this track!

Cirque Dreams Illumination Bass Performance Hall – Fort Worth The Cirque Dreams brand of Neil Goldberg’s hit factory has scored a winner this time. Twentyseven talented acrobats, singer-dancers and musicians bring to life the scruffy ebullience of New York’s street scene.

The subdudes Poor David’s Pub – Dallas For more than twenty years on either side of a silence where the band fell apart and reorganized the sududes have been been making masterful use of every musical influence New Orleans has ever given us. Don’t miss this.

Sat – 12/4 13) “The Look of Love” - ABC Recorded by ABC in 1982, it was included on their debut album, The Lexicon of Love. The official video vaguely pays homage to Gene Kelly’s Ballet sequence from An American in Paris. 14) “Love and Rockets” Ball of Confusion A gothic rock band covering Motown. Awesome!

10) “I Got You” - Split Enz Written by fellow New Zealander Neil Finn (Crowded House), the video features Finn standing in a room with other band members in a framed picture on the wall behind him. Turned out to be the band’s only hit.

Thur – 12/2

Fri – 12/3

8) “Pop Musik” - M They would later become Level 42 and who could have predicted that genius in the making. Catchy and annoying at the same time. 9) “Brand New Lover” - Dead or Alive Why this song wasn’t as big as “You Spin Me” I have no idea. Was Pete Burns in fact dead or alive in the video? I have no idea. Should the Scissor Sisters cover this track? Absolutely.

XS, DJ Big J Rockin Rodeo – Denton This venue has the rep of being dangerous to people trying to stay on the straight and narrow. Big J spins a little of everything, the dancers go crazy and the well drinks might be the cheapest anywhere.

3) “Der Kommissar” - After the Fire The song first recorded by Falco in German in 1981 and covered a year later by After the Fire. The title translates to “the commissioner” or police captain and is basically about being chased by the police.

7) Stars on 45 – Title? Not sure what the exact title of this song is but I remember playing the sh*t out of this when I was seven, literally on a 45. I guess they are the pioneers of the modern day Mash-up?

Wed – 12/1

15) “Deeper Shade of Soul” Urban Dance Squad Originally released in 1989 this was like a drunk precursor to 311. Great song, and way ahead of it’s time.

The Beulaville Baptist Book Club Presents: A Bur-less-Q Nutcracker Stone Cottage Theatre – Arlington For those whose Thanksgiving has been a ballbuster, this might just be the antidote. No stripping but lots of innuendo. A must-see for Baptists who were aroused by the Pythons in drag.

Sun – 12/5

2) “Let’s Go all the Way” - Sly Fox The lyrics, while often thought to be about sex, contain no carnal content, are delivered deadpan, and seem to express disillusionment with various aspects of modern life.

6) “Rock Me Amadeus” - Falco With “Rock Me Amadeus,” Falco became the first German-speaking artist to be credited with a #1 single in all mainstream U.S. pop singles charts. Is he to thank for the next German-speaking chart topper, Nena?

12) “Spirit in the Sky” - Dr. and the Medics A cover of Norman Greenbaum’s “Spirit in the Sky.” The original song’s arrangement came together in the studio in San Francisco. Nice fun fact. Not better than the original, just a nice update to a classic.

White Rock Marathon Fair Park – Dallas Dallas’s most well-attended once-a-year sporting event is moving to a new course at Fair Park. Now more thousands will be able to ogle Dallas’s fittest specimens—a far remove from the blubbery crowd on display at the recent State Fair.

Mon – 12/6

1) “One Night in Bangkok” - Murray Head The 80s were all about hooks and this one ruled. Recorded for the musical Chess with the music written by members of ABBA and lyrics by Tim Rice.

band a favorite on MTV in the early 1980s. Her revealing outfits played a pivotal role in moving the culture of music videos.

The New Collection Kessler Theater – Dallas A cappella jazz by vocalists? Something like Lambert, Hendricks and Ross? No, just twentyeight people singing jazz arrangements without instrumental accompaniment. Check it out.

Tues – 12/7

What do I remember about the 80s? Insane fashion, fantastic movies, and going to the record store to buy some of the coolest records ever. Nowadays the anticipation of going to buy a record is trumped by the instant gratification of the Internet. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing at all, but there was a certain mystique to many of the songs from the decade of decadence, and it was a ritual of sorts to play those 45s records over and over again. With that being said, I present a list of fifteen songs that were enormous hits for exactly 15 minutes.

“Music Enthusiast”

Open Mic Night Dallas Comedy House – Dallas Even if a career isn’t in the making, people who think they’re funny are frequently funny for the wrong reasons. Maybe you’re one of them! Anyway, give all these funny people a break by showing up. If you know of a cool event or concert coming up, send some info our way at editor@blitzweekly.com

blitzweekly.com

by Jason Miller


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6 December 1 - 7, 2010

STARS News

by Tony Barone

“The Senior Sports Authority”

Stars Shake off Road Woes The Dallas Stars began Thanksgiving week with a road trip to Eastern Canada, and ended it with back-to-back wins over the St. Louis Blues. That gave the Stars 27 points through 22 games this season, good for a first-place tie in the Pacific Division and a tie for fourth best in the Western Conference. First stop on the Canadian road trip was Toronto where Nikolai Kulemin scored two goals and the Maple Leafs earned a 4-1 win over the Stars. Brad Richards scored the lone goal for Dallas who lost for the fourth straight time on the road. Richards, a pending unrestricted free agent, said this about rumors the Leafs may try to trade for him this season: “When the time comes, if that’s an option, Toronto is always a No. 1 hockey destination. It would

“It was a gritty win and that’s what we need on the road,” said Stars forward Jamie Benn. “Hardworking wins are what you need.” In a throwback to the old NHL schedules, the Dallas Stars and the St. Louis Blues played a home-and-home series starting on Friday night in Dallas. Mike Ribeiro scored the go-ahead goal with 3:29 left to give the Dallas Stars a come-from-behind 3-2 victory over the St. Louis Blues on Friday night. Jamie Benn tied it with his first career short-handed goal earlier in the third, and Benn’s pass set up Ribeiro’s winner. The series moved to St. Louis on Saturday night where Stars goalie Kari Lehtonen recovered from a soft goal late in the second period and the Stars scored on two of

be great being a Canatheir first five shots dian playing in Toron- Upcoming Schedule: to overcome a thirdto, but we’re not even 12/2 vs Capitals period deficit for the 7:30pm close to that bridge second straight night 12/4 vs Wild 7:00pm yet.” in a 2-1 victory Satur Dallas Stars GM 12/6 @ Blue Jackets 6:00pm day. The Stars swept Joe Nieuwendyk was 12/8 @ Blackhawks the home-and-home 7:30pm asked about his team’s series and handed the recent struggles on the road, “When you get Blues their first regulation loss at home. on the road you’ve really got to get your The win improved the Stars road record to nose dirty because it’s hard,” Nieuwendyk 5-5. said in an interview with ESPNDallas.com. The Stars are becoming a mentally “We haven’t done that on a consistent ba- tough team to compete against. Coming sis.” from behind to beat the Blues on consecu Wednesday night the Stars took a step tive nights and getting to a .500 winning in the right direction, grinding out a 2-1 percentage on the road are good indicators victory in Ottawa to snap a four-game road that the Stars are heading in the right direclosing streak. Brenden Morrow scored the tion. That toughness will be put to the test go-ahead goal at 1:13 of the third period, next week at home when Alex Ovechkin and Andrew Raycroft made 18 saves for the and the Washington Capitals visit the AAC. Stars. Ovechkin made NHL history in 2008 when “I think that was a great road game, al- he signed a 13-year $124 million contract, most a perfect road game,” Raycroft said. the first guaranteed nine-figure contract for “I was able to get in front of a couple and a NHL player. Ovechkin is leading the team not give anything bad up and get a win.” in points (31) and assists (21) this season. The Stars, who had allowed 16 goals in For Stars fans looking to see one game in their previous four road games, gave Ot- person this season, this is the game. tawa very few chances Wednesday night.


December 1 - 7, 2010 7 blitzweekly.com

Crossword Solution

MAVS News

by Geoff Case “NBA Analyst”

Defensive Chemistry is Key The Mavericks are having a great start to Lebron and Wade soon found out they the regular season which isn’t anything weren’t allowed a free pass to the paint. new. The team has achieved 50-win sea- In seasons past, the Mavs’ lack of interior sons for the last ten years, so having suc- defense would have been a real problem cess in the regular season isn’t breaking any but soon after the slasher duo discovered new ground. The reason Mavs fans should Tyson Chandler wasn’t going to allow it be watching this year is to see exactly how they were relegated to shooting jump shots. they are having success, which is what is “He’s been amazing, just his positive endrastically different from years past. There ergy,” Dirk Nowitzki said. “He’s always was something very telling about watch- the first one off the bench when he’s not on ing Erick Dampier not get any real suit- the court. He’s vocal in the locker room and ors when he became a free-agent this off- he’s been amazing to have around.” season. Granted, some of that was because The difference in the Mavericks is beDampier was wanting way more than teams coming clearer as the wins keep piling up. were willing to hand over to him. Still, the “He’s key for us every night. He’s become Mavericks’ starting center for the last de- the heart and soul of our defense,” said cade – in which they Coach Rick Carlisle. won 50+ games a In addition to the topyear sat on the waiver notch defense that wire untouched until Chandler provides the Miami Heat were he is also becoming absolutely forced by an offensive force. injury to sign him for A great example was the minimum. The the Miami game. point here is how bare Chandler completely the cupboard in Dallas controlled the paint has been at the Center with 14 points, 17 position for nearly rebounds, including the entire existence seven on the offensive of the franchise. The end, and three blocks. Mavericks made it to The Mavericks are the NBA Finals startslowly becoming a deing DeSagana Diop at fensive-minded squad the five spot, another that capitalizes on player who cannot turnovers because of seem to find real playtheir ability to run the ing time on any other fast break incredibly team in the league. well. That style of bas In the last two seaketball is battle-tested sons the Mavericks in the playoffs and have added two censhould help the team ters in Tyson Chancontain the penetratdler and Brendan ing guards who will Haywood who in my be coming at them in opinion are already by force during the postdefault the best two season. centers in Mavericks “I know our guys history. The differ- Upcoming Schedule: are getting energized ence can be seen on 12/1 vs Timberwolves 7:30pm from winning and I the court night in and 12/3 @ Jazz don’t sense any com9:30pm night out. Teams that placency,” said Coach 9:00pm used to cruise into 12/4 @ Kings Carlisle. “I feel like 7:30pm the paint unmolested 12/7 vs Warriors we are in the moment are confronted with and playing in the an above-average/great shot-blocker. The present and that is what it is all about.” Mavericks have two of them, meaning that The Mavericks may have been used to there should never be any time (assuming winning in the regular season, but often had no foul trouble) where both of them are off major holes that could be exposed in the the court. This has a trickle-down effect for playoffs due to their defensive deficiencies. the entire defense and allows the rest of the The way this team is starting to play is a squad to play closer on their man and jump style that could take the Mavs much deeper passing lanes because the big man has got into the postseason and should be a lot of their back. fun to watch. Stay tuned. The biggest evidence of this was when Miami came to town last weekend and

NBA: Heat vs. Cavaliers

Thur. December 2 – 7:00PM – Quicken Loans Arena – TNT King James returns to Cleveland as all eyes watch this match-up. Both teams are currently third in their respective divisions. The Heat haven’t been as productive as everyone had expected and the Cavaliers haven’t fallen apart. How will the Cleveland fan base react? This is Must SeeTV!

College Football: (2) Auburn vs. (18)S. Carolina

Sat. December 4 – 3:00PM – Georgia Dome – CBS These two teams met up earlier in the season and South Carolina was leading 27-21 heading into the fourth quarter before Auburn scored two unanswered touchdowns. The Ol’ Ball Coach has been here several times before and will have a few tricks up his sleeve. Will Cam Newton persevere? All the pressure will be on the Tigers.

College Football: (10) Oklahoma vs. (13)Nebraska

Sat. December 4 – 7:00PM – Cowboys Stadium – ABC This could be the last Big 12 Title game ever. Two former Big Eight teams go at it one last time to determine the conference winner. Just like the old days. No national title implications here. Just old school smash-mouth football and bragging rights.

NFL: Jets vs. Patriots

Mon. December 6 – 7:30PM – Gillette Stadium – ESPN Finally a MNF game worth watching. The winner here will remain on top of the AFC East division. The Jets won the first meeting back in September and the Patriots are looking for some payback. It’ll be an epic battle between the Jets defense and the Patriots offense.

MAVS


blitzweekly.com

8 December 1 - 7, 2010

HOW ’BOUT THEM COWBOYS?

by Joe Avezzano

A GUT-WRENCHING LOSS

by Jay Betsill

“The Coach”

The 30-27 win by the New Orleans Saints was one of the most exciting games in the 43-game history of Thanksgiving Day football. Both teams showed resolve, came from behind and in the end the Saints went to 8-3 and the Cowboys to 3-8. When the score was 17-0 most everyone felt that the two previous wins were history and this team was going down the tubes like they did in Green Bay. You know you had those thoughts. But the Cowboys kicked a last second field goal at the end of the half and then on the second play of the second half Miles Austin went 60 yards to make it 17-10. Kitna played well again, Witten was very effective, the running game was time consuming if nothing else and the defense again bent but didn’t break. With the Cowboys up 27-23 and three minutes left Kitna hits Roy Williams for 47 yards. Game over! Not so fast. Instead of coming down with the ball Williams is stripped of the ball. With a long way to go still, Drew Brees then hooks up with Robert Meachem as he beats Terence Newman for 55 yards. On the next play they score. The Cowboys are finished! Not so fast. In a short period of time they get in position to barely miss a 59-yard field goal attempt. Game over. Damn, that was exciting! I know Williams has to hold onto the ball. I know Newman can’t get beat in that situation. And I also know that “Sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes the bear eats you!” They made a few more big plays than the Cowboys. Pack up, go home and eat your turkey. Garrett is doing some very positive things with this team. The remaining schedule is truly a challenge. After Indianapolis they still have to play the hot Eagles twice. The evaluation process will be done on this team under tough circumstances which may very well be the best way to evaluate a team. Decisions will be made on players and coaches in the remaining weeks. I think we may have the answer on the coach unfolding before our very eyes.

“Man On the Inside”

Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Roy Williams sprinted toward the end zone and Dallas was about to pull off one of their greatest Thanksgiving comebacks. Out of nowhere, New Orleans Saints cornerback Malcom Jenkins appeared and ripped the ball from Williams’ grasp with a vengeful force. Saints quarterback Drew Brees then quickly drove 89 yards for the touchdown that put New Orleans back ahead 30-27 with 1:55 left in the dramatic affair. The Cowboys’ David Buehler attempted a 59-yard field goal that would’ve tied the game. His kick had plenty of leg, but sailed wide to the left with 25 seconds left in what turned out to be a gut-wrenching loss for Dallas. “I lost the ballgame,” Roy Williams said. “I let my teammates down. I need to fall down. We run the clock down and win the game… That’s the nail in the coffin.” With the defending Super Bowl champions in their rear-view mirror, the Cowboys travel up to Lucas Oil Stadium to battle the Indianapolis Colts. The Colts (6-5) are coming off a 36-14 drumming at the hands of the San Diego Chargers, their most lopsided home loss since four-time MVP Peyton Manning has been the team’s starting quarterback. Manning finished 31 of 48 for 285 yards with two TDs. The Chargers picked off Manning four times, returning two for touchdowns. “San Diego did a good job,” Peyton Manning said. “Offensively, we didn’t do a real good job. I didn’t do a real good job.” As for the Cowboys, what better way to bounce back from the Saints loss than to get a road win over the Super Bowl XLI champion Colts? The Colts are still in playoff mode and that could end up being the major difference in the contest. Yet Indianapolis has so many injuries that even a first-ballot Hall of Fame quarterback like Peyton Manning may not be able to save their season. An ace in the hole for the Cowboys could be running back Tashard Choice, who should see an increased role with Marion Barber’s strained calf and the Colts’ woeful run defense. If the Cowboys can control the clock and keep Manning on the sidelines, they have a chance to hand the Colts their third consecutive loss.


by Frank LaCosta

December 1 - 7, 2010 9

“Football Fanatic”

Auburn Tigers “Mr. Everything” QB Cam Newton leads the team. The Heisman candidate has passed for 2,254 yards and 24 touchdowns. He has also rushed for 1,336 yards and 18 touchdowns with an average of 5.9 yards per carry. If Cam doesn’t have the ball in his hands chances are that freshman RB Michael Dyer will. Dyer will probably get 10-12 touches, though he isn’t a threat to catch the ball out of the backfield. The shifty runner has five touchdowns this season and will be good for 75 yards or so. WR Darvin Adams has stepped up his game and is more of a possession receiver than a deep threat. WR Terrell Zachery has lots of speed as evidenced by his 70, 78 and 80 yard receptions. Auburn likes to hand the ball off to him as well. Auburn doesn’t possess a dominating defense but it is serviceable. If the Gamecocks can shut down Newton then the Tigers will be in a heap of trouble.

South Carolina Gamecocks On any given Saturday any team in the SEC can beat another. Head Coach Steve Spurrier will have to use all of his gimmick plays to pull it off, though. The Gamecocks are led by junior QB Stephen Garcia. He has passed for 2,646 yards and 18 touchdowns. He isn’t the runner that Newton is but can scramble and is known for well-timed quarterback sneaks into the end zone. The bulk of the rushing duties belong to RB Marcus Lattimore. He’s rushed for 1,114 yards and 17 touchdowns. He can also catch the ball out of the backfield. Garcia’s favorite target is WR Alshon Jeffery. He has breakaway speed and soft hands. Jeffery has 75 receptions for the year and 1,351 yards with eight touchdowns. The Gamecock defense is nothing to brag about and will have a tough time keeping the Tigers in check.

The 6th ACC Championship Game is Saturday and doesn’t really have much on the line other than a BCS Bowl berth at stake. It’s a rematch of the very first one when Florida State upset Virginia Tech. The two teams haven’t squared off this season until now. This is only the second Florida State appearance in the championship game while Virginia Tech is making their fourth. This is Jimbo Fisher’s first time as head coach of the Seminoles and Frank Beamer has coached in all of the Hokies’ appearances. Florida State Seminoles Now that former Head Coach Bobby Bowden has moved on it is time for Jimbo Fisher to make a name for himself. He has led the team to a respectable record this season while defeating the Gators and Hurricanes for statewide bragging rights. The field general is Colleyville’s very own Christian Ponder. The senior quarterback has put up decent numbers this year with 2,038 yards passing and 20 touchdowns. He doesn’t run well and is definitely a pocket passer. The ground game is handled by the two-headed monster of RB Chris Thompson and Ty Jones. Together they have rushed for over 1,000 yards with seven touchdowns. Look for Ponder to pass to Willie Haulstead and main target Bert Reed. The defense is ranked #11 nationally and should provide some security.

Virginia Tech Hokies After starting the season 0-2 with embarrassing losses to Boise State (season opener) and James Madison (at home) the Hokies have righted the ship with 10 straight wins. However, only one win was against a ranked team, that being Miami. Dual threat QB Tyrod Taylor can pass or run when asked. For the season he has 2,258 yards passing with 20 touchdowns and 613 yards rushing with four touchdowns. Think of him as a poor man’s Cam Newton. The rushing game is handled by Darren Evans who has 748 yards on the year and 10 touchdowns. WR Jarrett Boykin is Taylor’s main target. The speedster has caught 45 passes for 728 yards and five touchdowns. The Hokies defense is ranked 13th overall. As with all Frank Beamer teams, the special teams’ play could make the difference.

The Conference USA game to be played this Saturday matches the West Division SMU Mustangs against the Central Florida Knights. This is the first time for SMU to play in the title game while this marks Central Florida’s third appearance since the game’s inception back in 2005. Neither team is ranked at this time but that could change by the time the next set of polls comes out. This is their first meeting this season. SMU Mustangs Head Coach June Jones has to be extremely proud of this year’s team. That being said, he has to keep the team focused as they continue to reach new highs. On offense, the Mustangs are led by QB Kyle Padron. The sophomore from Southlake has had a great season passing for 3,306 yards and 28 touchdowns. He won’t scare the Knights with his running ability but he knows the offense well. RB Zach Line has a workmanlike attitude and has been rewarded as the featured back. This season he has rushed for over 1,200 yards and put up 10 touchdowns. Padron has a pair of quality wide-outs. Aldrick Robinson leads the team in receiving yards with 1,182 and 12 touchdowns. Meanwhile, Cole Beasley has quietly put up 976 yards and six touchdowns. Jones, known for his wide-open, “Run and Shoot” style, has put together a well-balanced offense. Their weak link is the defense, where they give up points and yards. A high-scoring affair might work in the Mustangs favor.

Central Florida Knights The Knights are coached by George O’Leary and he’s been with the team in their two previous title game appearances. He has experience and will be the guiding hand in the match-up. Under center is Jeffrey Godfrey and the freshman QB has performed well. He’s only had six interceptions all season and has passed for 12 touchdowns and 1,875 yards. He also has a set of wheels, rushing for 529 yards and nine touchdowns. Ronnie Weaver is the featured back and has 855 yards with 11 touchdowns this year. The receiving corps will not overwhelm the Mustangs. Jamar Newsome leads the team in receiving with 567 yards and three touchdowns. Brian Watters is his counterpart with almost identical numbers (560 yards/2 touchdowns). Their defense has kept them in games and is ranked 18th in the country. If the Mustangs cannot defend Godfrey then it will be a long day for them.

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The 19th SEC championship game will take place this Saturday when the Auburn Tigers take on the South Carolina Gamecocks. The Tigers are led by Heisman leading candidate Cam Newton and their potent offense. Auburn heading into this game is ranked #1 in the BCS polls, recently overtaking the Oregon Ducks. They are undefeated and must win to remain on track with their goal of winning a national championship. The two teams met back in September at Jordan-Hare Stadium. South Carolina led through the first three quarters until Auburn took a 28-27 lead minutes into the fourth quarter. Auburn sealed the victory with another touchdown for a 35-27 win. The Gamecocks have already ruined the dreams of the Crimson Tide when they upset Alabama earlier this season. Throw all of this out the window because it’ll mean nothing come game time.


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10 December 1 - 7, 2010

Offense

The Sooners have one of the most potent offenses in college football, led by quarterback Landry Jones. The offense cranks out 480 yards per game which is good for 12th best in the country. Most of that comes from Landry’s arm, passing for 328 yards per game which is 4th best in college football. His favorite target is Ryan Broyles who averages about 10 receptions per game for 115 yards. That ranks 1st and 3rd respectively in the nation. DeMarco Murray has rushed for over 1,000 yards this season, and his 87.8 yards per game ranks in the top 40 in college football. Murray hurt his leg in the Texas Tech game and his status is questionable for Saturday’s game. In the Sooners’ past three games, they have picked up 562 yards, 462 yards and 588 yards. If there is a down side, it is that their running game has not been consistent, picking up 5.6 yards per carry against Texas Tech, but less than 3 against Baylor and Oklahoma State. Nevertheless, the Sooners have turned their yards into points each of the last three weeks, scoring 45, 53 and 47 points.

Defense

Oklahoma’s defense has been spotty allowing 22 points per game. That ranks 36th in the country. The defense is giving up 370 yards per game with about 60% of those yards coming through the air. The secondary does have a respectable 16 interceptions this year. The Sooners defense ranks in the middle of the pack in most team stats in the Big 12 Conference. Since losing 33-19 at Texas A&M, the defense has allowed 326 yards and seven points to Texas Tech, and 361 and 24 to Baylor, but just 10 points the first three quarters. And in the Bedlam game against Oklahoma State, Oklahoma allowed 40 points, but 14 came on returns.

by Tony Barone – “Sen

Just like old times, Oklahoma and Nebraska will decide the Big 12 football conference title. The Sooners and Huskers square off in the final Big 12 Championship game at 7 p.m. (CT) on Saturday, Dec. 4 at Cowboys Stadium in Arlington. The 15th and final meeting between division winners has provided the most appropriate matchup, North champion Nebraska vs. South champion Oklahoma. Appropriate because the Sooners and Cornhuskers are two of the three most successful programs in the conference. Texas ends this segment of Big 12 history with 90 conference triumphs, Oklahoma is second at 86, and Nebraska third at 81. Nobody will have played in more

Keys to Victory

Landry needs to solve the Huskers stingy pass defense and DeMarco Murray’s leg injury needs to be a non-event.

by Mark Miller – “Dal

1996 – Trans World Dome Texas 37, Nebraska 27 The unranked Longhorns upset the No. 3 Cornhuskers with the daring fourth-down play called by Coach John Mackovic. This game also set the stage for a future rivalry between the two teams.

1998 – Trans World Dome Texas A&M 36, Kansas State 33 - 2 OT The Aggies tied the game in the fourth quarter and won it in double-overtime when quarterback Branndon Stewart and running back Sirr Parker connected on a 32-yard touchdown.

2000 – Arrowhead Stadium Oklahoma 27, Kansas State 24 Top-rated Oklahoma broke a 17-all tie with 10 points in the final period. Josh Heupel’s 17-yard pass play to Quincy Morgan with 14:24 left and Tim Duncan’s 46-yard field goal with 1:25 remaining was enough to hold off a late touchdown by the No. 8 Wildcats.

2002 Reliant Stadium Oklahoma 29, Colorado 7 The Sooners became the fi win the championship tw rushing for 188 yards and t fense kept the Buffaloes of Colorado’s only touchdown

1997 – Alamodome Nebraska 54, Texas A&M 15 The Cornhuskers dominated the game from the opening drive. Ahman Green scored three touchdowns while rushing for 174 yards on 34 carries. K Kris Brown added four field goals.

1999 – Alamodome Nebraska 22, Texas 6 Defense proved the key as the teams combined for just three touchdowns, two by Nebraska quarterback Eric Crouch. His 4-yard keeper early in the third quarter put the game away.

2001 – Texas Stadium Colorado 39, Texas 37 The Buffaloes used three pass interceptions, including Medford Moorer’s 64-yard return for a TD, to build a 29-10 lead by the half. Texas scored 27 of the next 37 points to make it close.

2003 – Arrowhead Stadiu Kansas State 35, Oklahom Kansas State knocked off c by totaling 519 yards, 235 Sproles. Quarterback Eli R down passes. Oklahoma, w ing at 48.7 points per game a first-quarter touchdown.


December 1 - 7, 2010 11

nior Sports Authority”

title games than Oklahoma, in its eighth, and Nebraska, in its sixth. It’s also a bit ironic. These great programs enjoyed a tremendous rivalry in their Big Eight years, but it didn’t carry into the Big 12. The scheduling matrix ended the series on an annual basis, which has always hardened the Cornhuskers’ feelings toward the Big 12 in the league’s formation stages. But here they are, meeting in the final game of the 12-team league. Oklahoma will be Nebraska’s last Big 12 opponent. The Cornhuskers wouldn’t want it any other way. For Saturday’s game, the teams seem evenly matched with sharp contrasts: Nebraska excels on defense, especially against the pass; Oklahoma on offense, especially the passing game.

Defense

This is a typical stingy Cornhuskers defense, allowing less than 300 yards per game, good for 5th in college football. The passing defense is second best in the country at 145 yards per game. Nebraska’s defense has allowed just 16.8 points per game which is 8th best in the country. Eric Hagg leads the team with 5 interceptions for the Huskers, which ties him for 11th in the country. Junior LB Lavonte David has 128 tackles for the season, moving him to a tie for sixth on the NU single-season chart. David is 21 tackles from the Nebraska single-season record of 149 tackles by Barrett Ruud in 2003. David also has a team high nine pass breakups this season.

Keys to Victory

Nebraska’s ability to keep Landry Jones and the Sooners high powered offense in check. QB Taylor Martinez will most certainly be pushed into service. His ability to play healthy will add much needed offensive power for the Huskers. The Huskers have also been plagued by penalties in the last few games, they will need to cut down on those as well as turnovers.

llasite from the North”

7 first team championship to wice with Quentin Griffin two touchdowns. Their deffense off the scoreboard as n came on a punt return.

um ma 7 consensus No. 1 Oklahoma 5 by running back Darren Roberson had four touchwhich led the nation in score, scored its only points on

2004 – Arrowhead Stadium Oklahoma 42, Colorado 3 Oklahoma upheld its undefeated record by scoring often and holding Colorado to 46 yards. Quarterback Jason White threw three first-half touchdowns and freshman running back Adrian Peterson had three rushing touchdowns and 171 yards on 28 carries.

2006 – Arrowhead Stadium Oklahoma 21, Nebraska 7 Oklahoma scored on the game’s second play after Marcus Walker’s strip and run off a Nebraska fumble put the ball on the Cornhusker 2. Seven minutes later, quarterback Paul Thompson and receiver Malcolm Kelly connected on a 66-yard pass play.

2008 – Arrowhead Stadium Oklahoma 62, Missouri 21 The Sooners made it six titles overall, three in a row with its fifth straight 60-point game. Chris Brown and Mossis Madu each ran for three touchdowns and Sam Bradford threw for two.

2005 – Reliant Stadium Texas 70, Colorado 3 QB Vince Young completed 14 of 17 passes for 193 yards and three touchdowns and also ran for a score. Freshman running back Jamaal Charles scored three touchdowns, two on the ground.

2007 – The Alamodome Oklahoma 38, Missouri 17 The Sooners outscored #1 Missouri 24-3 in the second half after a 14-all tie. Three rushing TDs, two passing helped the Sooners become the first team with consecutive championships titles.

2009 – Cowboys Stadium Texas – Texas 13, Nebraska 12 A 46-yard Hunter Lawrence field goal as time expired ended the championships’ closest game. It appeared he wouldn’t get the chance when quarterback Colt McCoy threw the ball away with no time remaining. After review the referees put one second back allowing for Lawrence’s heroics.

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Offense

The big question for the Huskers offense is who plays quarterback in Saturday’s game? With quarterback Taylor Martinez out because of injury last Friday, Nebraska turned to sophomores Cody Green and Rex Burkhead—a running back who has mastered the Wildcat offense. Offensive coordinator Shawn Watson said Martinez would start Saturday, if healthy. He has thrown for over 1,400 yards and has rushed for almost 1,000. That’s a lot of yards for someone else to make up if he’s not available. Roy Helu Jr. has been solid at running back all year, rushing for almost 100 yards per game. The Huskers passing game barely manages 150 yards per game.


December 1 - 7, 2010 13 blitzweekly.com

ViewSonic Show’n Go 3DV5 3D HD Camcorder

Philips Norelco Sensco Touch 3D Shaver

Sure, the odds are against you already having a 3D HDTV setup at home. But why not start recording everything in 3D right now, just in case? The ViewSonic Show’n Go 3DV5 3D HD Camcorder makes this futuristic dream possible thanks to its diminutive size, twin sensors, 720p video recording, 3D still image capture, SD storage, HDMI output, and autostereoscopic 2.4” screen. Because you haven’t seen your kid eating his/her own boogers until you’ve seen it in 3D. (Price - $180)

Finally decide to get rid of your five o’clock shadow once and for all? Ensure it stays gone with the Philips Norelco Sensco Touch 3D Shaver. This flagship shaver features three dynamic cutting elements mounted on a GyroFlex 3D platform, allowing it to conform to the curves and angles of your face, while the AquaTec seal lets you shave wet or dry. Other features include an automatic travel lock and carrying case, a zinc liquid metal frame, and a touch control display that lets you know when it’s time to charge up. (Price - $280)

2011 Porsche Cayman R

Photos Courtesy: David Goodspeed

We might be heading into the dead of winter, but that doesn’t mean it’s too early to start looking for a racy rearwheel driver to cruise around in next summer. The 2011 Porsche Cayman R certainly fits the bill, with a 3.4L, midmounted six-cylinder engine producing 330 hp, a standard manual six-speed to get you to 60 mph in just five seconds – replaceable with a seven-speed Porsche Doppelkupplungsgetriebe (couldn’t make that up) and Sport Chrono package that does the job in 4.7 seconds – a top speed of 175 mph, lightweight 19-inch wheels, a lowered body, black-framed headlights, black exterior mirrors and “PORSCHE” lettering on the side, anti-roll bars, alcantara and leather upholstery, unique strap door handles, and a center console that matches the exterior paint. In other words, it’s everything your bad-weather beater isn’t. (Price -$66,000 and up)

Lexus has a new hybrid vehicle being readied for market and let me begin by saying I wish them more luck with this CT200h hybrid sportwagon than they saw with the HS250h hybrid sedan that debuted last year. Lexus’ last sporty wagon was on the inaugural IS300 platform and was dubbed SportCross. I was assured the CT200h is not intended to be the next SportCross but the two do share bloodlines and driving dynamics. We spent some time with Lexus and the new CT200h in New Orleans recently and I was left with the impression that the CT should see more success than the HS has. For starters, the CT borrows the hybrid powertrain from the current Toyota Prius. This was not the case with the HS, and critics were less than kind in responding to that fact. The CT200h also features four driverselectable operating modes ranging from full Electric Vehicle (EV) mode to Sport, the choice of many of the automotive journalists invited to southern Louisiana. Drive routes took us from downtown Crescent City to a twisty patch of asphalt splitting a swamp. Along the way we were able to get familiar with the driving models and the associated powertrain and steering tuning engineers have assigned to each. Sport mode adds a bit of resistance in the electric power steering feedback while also

allowing the most electrical boost from the Synergy Hybrid System employed in this newest Lexus offering. As with all Lexus models, the CT200h features the latest technology, safety and creature comfort available from the automaker and we found ourselves not wanting for more following time in both driver and passenger seats. And while zipping around the swamps and city streets we kept fuel economy numbers in the 42-45 mpg range. Lexus plans delivery around February of 2011, a time when several automakers will be enjoying sales figures from electric and plug-in hybrid models. When asked if the CT will accommodate the plug-in technology that will arrive with the next Prius, Lexus representatives on hand in New Orleans responded simply by saying anything is possible. What they did respond clearly on was that they plan to sell 1,000 units per month and pricing will be somewhere in the 32-grand range. CT will be the fifth hybrid in the Lexus lineup when it goes on sale and they hope it plays a key role in bringing new buyers to the brand. And despite it being billed as a hybrid “CrossTourer” the new CT200h plays the role of a next-generation SportCross quite well.

by David Goodspeed

“A Heavy Foot and High Opinion”


once as many thoughts or actions as we can, we miss the major point, and with all that information being processed at once, we lose our most important ideas. Ever have one of those days when you feel like you’re doing a million things but don’t get that much accomplished? Simplify and you’ll find you’ll get a lot more done. Everyone has the potential of accessing their inherent genius. The question is not whether we’re born this way—although some people naturally have talent in certain areas—but whether we choose to tap into our special abilities. Of course we all want to be geniuses, but we only use two percent of our brains. How do we get to the other 98 percent? Simply by altering the way we process information. Here are four easy ways:

TCU Awaits

Bowl F at e Andy Dalton threw three touchdown passes before leaving with a minor elbow injury and No. 4 TCU capped its second straight undefeated regular season with another Mountain West championship, beating lowly New Mexico 66-17 on Saturday. TCU (12-0, 8-0 Mountain West) has been jockeying with Boise State for a possible BCS appearance and got a major boost from Nevada, which knocked off the previously unbeaten Broncos on Friday night to give the Frogs an easier path to Pasadena. “We’ll be happy to be in whichever game we go to,” Dalton said. “It will be fun to watch this weekend to see what happens with those games. You never know, but if we play in the Rose Bowl, that’s going to be a lot of fun.” If form holds next week across the college football landscape, it could be a purple Rose Bowl. Of course, Patterson and his players are holding out hope that top-ranked Oregon could lose next week to Oregon State or No. 2 Auburn could be upset by South Carolina in the SEC title game, which would give TCU a shot at the National Championship game January 10, 2011.

Stop Multi-Tasking - Americans are obsessed with multi-tasking. The more things we juggle, the better we look to ourselves, our bosses, and society at large. In most careers it is seen as an asset. The problem with taking on too many things is that we get more quantity—more things done—but less quality, which accounts for the fact that our brilliant ideas can get lost in the shuffle. What’s happening in our buzzing little brains is that in our frazzled efforts to grab at

Be a Slacker - At least, be a slacker in between bouts of productivity. Taking a break and wasting time surfing the net, exercis-

Rest - Sometimes we need more than shuffling about or wasting time. An overworked brain needs complete rest, whether that is sufficient sleep, a midday nap or a stroll in the park. Lack of sleep affects our judgment and worry and time pressures can hinder our ability to see the big picture. When our brain has had time to re-boot, we have a better chance of arriving at a solution simply by seeing things with a whole new perspective.

Russian Roulette Airlines

I

by Dennis Hambright

www.dennishambright.com

by Tony Barone

“The Senior Sports Authority”

Focus - When you’ve dropped your habit of multi-tasking and are narrowing your focus on one problem or idea, it’s time to put aside your opinions and assumptions and only consider the facts, at least for the time being. When you clearly define what you know to be true it’s much easier for a solution to materialize, especially when your emotions don’t muddle things.

ing or doing anything in a leisurely way will help recharge your brain and produce a higher level of concentration. In a University of Melbourne study, Dr. Brent Coker found that workers who surf the net are more productive than those who don’t. Meandering here and there gives time for the brain to gather past experiences, which can help you make better decisions about the future.

consider myself a man of solutions. When I hear a pack of crybabies moaning about how they’ve been mistreated, before I pass harsh judgment, I try to sit back and look for a way to soothe their unfortunate plight. Then I’ll decide if they need to be spanked and sent running home to Mommy. Case in point: the new airport screening rules. Hmmm…let’s see. The whiners don’t want to be inconvenienced. They don’t want to wait in any long lines. They don’t want to be frisked, because it invades their personal space. And they don’t want to be X-rayed, because someone might see images of their naked bodies. Okay, these sound like reasonable complaints, but let’s look a little deeper. Slow-moving Lines: So, for the opportunity to climb on an airliner, and jet to your destination in just a few short hours, you’re complaining because you have to stand in line for half an hour. Let’s see, what’s a good alternative? How about an overnight road grind on a long-haul bus, getting butt rash from scratchy wool seats and sharing a single bathroom with five dozen other passengers, many of whom consider spicy bean burritos one of the primary food groups? Sure, you won’t have to wait in line, but is

that really a better alternative? Nope, on this one, I think you need to be spanked and sent home crying to Mommy. Don’t Want To Be Frisked: Yeah, I know, it might seem a little humiliating and degrading, but really, is it that much of an issue? Some security officer runs his hands over a couple of thousand passengers a day. Do you really think he took that job just to cop a quick feel and get his jollies? Or is he just doing a thankless job, for not that much pay, and trying to safely shuttle as many cattle through the chute as he possibly can. I’ve flown in and out of a lot of foreign countries where soldiers stand around with automatic rifles, looking like they’re itching to shoot somebody. And if they decide to frisk you, it’s “Step behind the curtain and strip to your underwear, please.” And if you’re lucky, they don’t think you’re a serious risk and snap on the rubber surgical glove, and get really up close and personal. So I have to say, on this one, spank, spank…go cry to Mommy! Being X-rayed: The whiners make it sound like they’re being asked to spread out on a furry rug and strike a Playboy pose, with

everybody standing around whistling at how sexy they look. I’ve seen some of these images, and honestly, I didn’t see anything you’d catch a thirteen-year-old boy hiding under his mattress with his National Geographic collection of topless natives. They all looked like bald, alien cartoon characters to me. So come on…really? Spank, spank… back to Mommy! What’s the solution? Here’s an idea. How about we start a new airline and call it Russian Roulette Airlines. No lines. No security. Everybody gets on without having to be checked for anything. Fly at your own risk with no inconveniences whatsoever. I bet they’ll even publish discount coupons in all the major terrorist magazines. I promise, you won’t have to worry about me getting in your way. I’ll be over in the slow line, letting people who know what they’re doing do what needs to be done to try and make sure I get where I’m going safely, even if that means I have to be inconvenienced just a little bit.

Photos Courtesy: Eric Chan, Pawel Zienowicz

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14 December 1 - 7, 2010


December 1 - 7, 2010 15 105.3 The Fan

Interview with

Jimmy

Johnson

Thanks so much, Jimmy, for joining us here on Now Jimmy, we’re going to play a little game The Fan. You are pushing the first ever here. You get to be somebody in the Tennes“Jimmy Bowl,” and I want to start with that. see organization. You want to be Bud Adams or Well, it’s a flag football thing where contestants can go to Jeff Fisher? CrownRoyal.com and they can see some videos that I put together, and they can get some inspiration to do a short essay or video and say why they should win the contest. And then if they win—now listen to this—an adult and four friends will get an all-expense paid trip to Dallas and be in a game coached by me in Cowboys Stadium, shortly after the big game there. So it could be quite an adventure for somebody.

Jimmy,

you’re rolling into

interesting time. Around Wade, all-Jason Garrett take, quick…

Dallas here it’s

at a very been all-

all the time.

Your

Jason has done a great job here initially. Of course, like Jerry says, there’s work to be done. The Cowboys got soft physically and mentally. And any time you say, we’re gonna make ’em be on time, we’re gonna make ’em hustle in practice, it makes you stop and think, well, what have they been doing before that? They’re getting paid millions of dollars so why weren’t they on time? So Jason is putting his foot down. I know Jason well. He played for me. His dad was a scout for me. His brothers coached for me and in fact Jason came to my home a couple of years ago and we spent a couple of days just talking about what he needed to do to prepare himself to be a head coach. So everybody knows that he’s prepared himself for this opportunity.

We’re looking at it with Jeff Fisher right now. It seems that it’s not just knowing your football. It’s knowing how to manage some really weird egos, now, too.

I sent a message to Jason right after he got the job. Not only congratulations, but to make sure that he made the most of this opportunity, and got the best out of his people. You know, sometimes as a coach you get carried away with Xs and Os and forget what really wins games, and that’s players. The Cowboys have always been a talented team in the last year or two, but they’ve been sloppy. Cut out the turnovers and the penalties and you’re going to be successful.

Photos Courtesy: Ben White, Matt Pearce, Don Bray

So far so good on that count from Jason Garrett. But this is not to bury Wade because I really like Wade—but to me one of the things that rankled Cowboys’ fans was the way it just didn’t seem like they gave a crap this year that the star was on their helmet. And that’s top to bottom, from player one to player 53.

The last few weeks Wade lost the team because they weren’t giving effort, and any time that happens you have to have a change. Without question Wade is a quality football coach. But his personality didn’t fit with what needed to be done with the Cowboys. The Cowboys are such a visible organization, you have to have a strong personality as a head coach [who’s able to] say no occasionally. Able to say, “We’ve got to do it this way.” Because those players get infected, with everyone telling them how great they are all the time, they get to thinking they’re pretty good. [You need] a head coach that will bring them back down to earth occasionally.

Well, you want to be the guy that’s got all the money, Bud Adams.

So

you’re

Bud Adams. What

that quagmire?

do you do with

Well, you’ve got Vince Young, who can win games. And he’s under contract for a lot of money. And you’ve got a head coach that’s been there for 17 years or so and you like him. So the two of them have got to resolve their issues. Vince Young is, by all reports, not the hardest worker so far as rehabbing injuries and preparing for ballgames. He’s got to grow up and do what he needs to do to be a top NFL quarterback. And Jeff Fisher has got to understand, you know, that you can’t treat every single player the same. You know, players are treated differently. And make sure that you don’t eliminate a player who can help you win games.

You

want to be the guy with the restaurant

and the boat, right? So now you’re Ziggy Wilf. Did you wait too long to pull the plug on Brad Childress? Or are you hopeful now that things will clean up?

Well, Brad Childress lost that team. If you watched the Fox broadcast this last week, they were arguing on the sidelines, players arguing with players, players arguing with coaches, players not listening to coaches. A lot of that is Brad Childress’s fault. You’ve got to command respect, you’ve got to earn the respect, and he didn’t have it from some of those players. Personally I thought he made a mistake by sending the plane down to Mississippi and begging Bret Favre to come back. Favre knew he was done and he’s playing like he’s done. So somebody should have stepped in and said, “I don’t care about a streak. I don’t care about the Hall of Fame. I don’t care about your legend. We’ve got to put the guy out there who’s going to win football games for us.” Now Leslie Frazier’s gotta understand, this is his opportunity. He can’t worry about other stuff. He’s gotta win games if he’s gonna continue to be the head coach.

One last one for you, Jimmy, before I let you go. You’ve been Bud Adams. You did a great Ziggy Wilf. Now you’re Jerry Jones. You’re the owner Jerry Jones, and I ask you, what do you do with GM Jerry Jones right now?

Everyone thinks that Jerry meddles… He really didn’t when I was there. It was in my contract that I had complete control of football operations and all personnel, coaches and players. After I left he made sure that that wasn’t in the head coach’s contract. But he didn’t meddle. He wants the structure and that structure’s not gonna change. It’s Jerry, his family—Stephen in particular. And Tom Ciskowski, the personnel director and the head coach—they all work as a group in the decision-making. Now, if you have a strong personality as a head coach, like when Parcells was there… Even though Parcells didn’t have it in his contract, they’re gonna listen to the strong personality…Because of the uniqueness of the Cowboys, you’ve got to make sure that you’ve got a strong personality, someone that can say no, and someone who can win over people and say, “here’s the way I want it done.” So Jerry’s not going to change his structure, and I don’t blame him. But they do need a strong personality as the head coach.

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by Josh Lewin


by Richard S. Pollak “The Traveling Gourmet”

THE SUITE TASTE AT COWBOYS STADIUM

While the rest of you Average Joes were sitting up in the super nosebleed sections of the new Cowboys Stadium – reading the latest issue of the Blitz Weekly, waiting for the Cowboys game to start – I was sipping Caymus Vineyard’s cabernet sauvignon at $75 for a six-ounce pour on the Silver Suite Level at Dee Lincoln’s Tasting Bar & Bubble Room. Dee Lincoln, the dynamic owner of this pouring room, revolutionary in concept, was as bubbly as one of the dozen or so premium champagnes she serves. She greeted every “A-lister” at the door with her vivacious, if not agonizing, Cajun drawl, made famous in all of those Del Frisco’s Double Eagle radio spots she did. Her own story is even more incredible than the Tasting Room itself – from restaurant hostess to overseer of one of the largest fine-dining restaurant empires in the United States. She sold her holdings in Del Frisco’s flagship North Dallas restaurant for over 23 million dollars. Today we are mesmerized by her five computerized wine-pouring machines costing over $110,000 and distributing a choice of 48 premium pours of two, four and six-ounce shots. During the regular football season, for each of a total of about 40 events, Dee’s tasting room is going to be serving champagne and inspired cocktails and pouring over $5,000 in fine wines. The impressive wine list is generating sales which are exceeding 50 glasses of Silver Oak at $45 a glass and 30 glasses of Caymus at $75 a glass, two of my all-time favorite wines. Her Cajun roots inspired the Snappy Mary, a spiced martini with Cajun seasoning coating the glass rim and a garnish of two jumbo Cajun shrimp – one of the most impressive cocktails in all of Dallas. For only $5, The Tasting Room provides you with a prepaid card system

Dee Lincoln’s Tasting Room & Bubble Bar Cowboys Stadium Silver Suite Level 900 E. Randol Mills Road Arlington – 76011 www.deelincolnstastingroom.com like the one at Starbuck’s, where a predetermined amount is on deposit. Unlike the system at Starbuck’s, many of those cards are carrying as much as $500. An inspired Cowboy fan and his friends used his pre-loaded drink card and spent their entire $500 on three bottles of Darioush at $54 a glass before opening kickoff. When inserting the card into the computerized wine pourer, there was some confusion on my part as to just how much I was actually running up on my free card while paying to drink, but on the Silver Suite Level, no one really worries about the details of such small debts. The 1,100-square foot contemporary lounge is bright and bubbly with a seasoned staff and no signs of the old Del Frisco’s dark woods and red leather. The all-white design reminded me of Emmitt Smith’s last birthday party at the old Cowboy Stadium Club at Texas Stadium before it closed down. The biggest drawback at Dee’s place? There really isn’t anything to eat, so you have to go to back to your suite and order one of Jerry Jones’s $100 autographed Papa John’s Pepperoni Pizzas or the $36 Grande Nachos. The inspiration for the tasting room came to the former steakhouse executive on a trip back to New Orleans. Encountering a wine-tasting room in the French Quarter on her way to dinner, she immediately pictured something like it in a venue like the Silver Suite Level at Cowboys Stadium. Now a second Tasting Room is scheduled to open in the Uptown area near the Ritz-Carlton. Unfortunately, the immediate “suite success” of Dee Lincoln’s Tasting Room and Bubble Bar at Cowboys Stadium couldn’t be translated onto the playing field as our Cowboys lost.

Photos Courtesy: Yu-Ping Chen

blitzweekly.com

16 December 1 - 7, 2010


HORRORSCOPES Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)

Starting Friday, you write dialogues in your journal as an exercise for coping with those who have wronged you. Together they will create a successful Aaron Spelling production.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)

Have you ever wondered why you keep a crappy part-time job, even though you get bouts of real employment? Same here…

FUNNIES

Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)

Friday you will go shopping for new shoes and a jacket. Saturday you watch E!’s marathon of fashion and grow a vagina because you’re a f*cking woman. Welcome to a 30% pay cut, honey.

Q: How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you? A: She stops washing your clothes in the toilet. Q: What do you buy a friend graduating from Law School? A: A lobotomy. Q: What’s the definition of confusion? A: Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market. Q: What should you do if you’re attacked by a gang of clowns? A: Go for the juggler. Dead Penis Society One day in a nursing home, old Mr. Smith goes up to a candy-striper and says, “My penis died.” Deciding to humor him, the girl says “Oh, poor baby. I’m sorry to hear that.” Two days later the girl is making her rounds and sees Mr. Smith wandering the halls with his frank and beans hanging out. “Mr. Smith!” she cries. “I thought you said your penis had died!” “It did. Today’s the viewing.”

blitzweekly.com

JOKES

December 1 - 7, 2010 17

Pisces (Feb. 19 – Mar. 20)

In an attempt to go to jail (for the health care), you start a purse factory in your basement. You hire underage immigrants because only Thai children can get the stitching just right. ACROSS: 1. Cain’s brother 5. Any doctrine 8. Tab 12. Maori club 13. November birthstone 15. Dogfish 16. Shantytown 17. Coral island 18. Ends a prayer 19. The act of getting rid of something 22. Diving bird 23. Month of ___ober 24. Exam 26. Pugilists 29. Lace place 31. Taxi 32. Songs for two 34. Challenges 36. Tablet 38. Encounters 40. Bog 41. Homeric epic 43. Views as 45. A painkiller (abbrev.) 46. Pressure 48. A small wave

50. Biblical garden 51. Away from the wind 52. A man who serves as a sailor 54. Ramshackle 61. “Oh, my!” 63. Poison 64. Sea-based armed forces 65. Tardy 66. What a bee might do 67. Murres 68. They man a ship 69. 180° from NNW 70. Tattled DOWN: 1. Basilica area 2. Sphere 3. Decorative case 4. An awkward stupid person 5. Bit 6. Blemish 7. Anagram of “Lima” 8. Sheep sound 9. Of no importance 10. In ___ of (replacing) 11. Long and lean 13. A display of bad temper

14. Polish monetary unit 20. Chilled 21. Require 25. Shut a door forcefully 26. Vouches 27. Wipe out 28. Beginnings of plants 29. Aromatic compound 30. Brusque 31. Consumer Price Index 33. Golf ball support 35. Ocean 37. Piecrust ingredient 39. Grinning 42. Act 44. Moved fast 47. Vexations 49. Goober pea 52. After-bath powder 53. Winged 55. Parcels of land 56. Line of rotation 57. A coniferous tree 58. Tropical root 59. Wickedness 60. Pair 62. Stitch

Aries (Mar. 21 – Apr. 19)

You realize that your lack of sexual prowess is not caused by that inner tube of fat around your stomach. No, it’s because you spend all day in your apartment playing video games.

Taurus (Apr. 20 – May 20)

Lately you’ve been finding yourself wishing you had a drug problem to explain why you sleep until 3:30, have violent mood swings and refuse to speak to friends and family.

Gemini (May 21 – Jun. 21)

You realize your bouts of uncontrollable crying are because you have no future, no job, no hopes, and a shaky support system. Also, you’re getting older and uglier and nobody thinks of you romantically.

Cancer (Jun. 22 – Jul. 22)

You’ve been making cries for help for months. Unfortunately, it’s pretty well established that you’re beyond help. You read it here first!

Leo (Jul. 23 – Aug. 22)

Your erotic dreams are plagued by recurring images of a naked Carrot Top lifeguarding at your family pool. And you’re sad, because he was polite on dates, and wore pants throughout your courtship.

Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22)

Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Now get back to work!

Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)

You have no steady source of income so there’s no means to feed the puppy you’ve adopted because you can barely feed yourself. Yeah, right. You’re not a f*ck-up!

Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)

You’ll attend a party on Friday at which you will meet a nice young woman. After consuming numerous intoxicating beverages, you’ll hook up. Damn family reunions.


blitzweekly.com

18 December 1 - 7, 2010 by Pat Moran

“Man on his Throne”

THE PRESENT FACE Now that Black Friday has come and gone, it’s time to prepare for the overwhelming onslaught that is the holiday season. Regardless of your background, December is the time for giving and receiving presents. Notice that I left out the word “good” when describing the presents. That is because a good present is rare. Think about it. How many amazing presents have you received since you were a kid? I’m guessing you don’t need both of your hands to count how many. Even more, how many amazing presents have you given? I’d say the number decreases a crapload. That probably will never change. You will always get a striped sweater, a book you’ve already read, a Dilbert desk calendar and an endless amount of crap that you don’t want or need. That’s where Present Face comes into play. Present Face will save your relation-

ships. Present Face is the face you make when you unwrap the present and find a bunch of socks. Instead of saying, “You are a terrible person to buy me socks for Christmas,” you look up from your unwrapped sack of blandness, you pull out Present Face, smile and say, “Well, I’ll be... This... This is the best present ever. Thank you... THANK YOU! It’s a Christmas Miracle.” Yes, it is a bold-faced lie, but it’s a must. Grandparents don’t need to be told how terrible they are. They are old. Let them buy the socks and be happy about it. You still have time to perfect the Present Face. With a few weeks left until you go into battle, it’s time to start practicing your moves. Practice unwrapping VHS copies of Rob Schneider movies and being jawdroppingly stoked. It’s a hard, long road but you can do it. It’ll earn you points and save your bridges from being burnt. Trust me, it’s worth it.


Blitz Weekly  

Big 12 Championship

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