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November 30 – December 6, 2011 VOL. 4 – ISSUE 13

Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com


VOL. 4 – ISSUE 13 november 30 – December 6, 2011

SPORTS NEWS

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Bid Adieu to Mr. Suh

SPORTS NEWS On Deck 3 Must See TV 3 SEC Game of the Week 4 NCAA Conference Title Games 5 TCU Preview 6 UNT Preview 6 Stars News 7 Cowboys Head To The Desert 8 3-4 Becomes 7-4 8 Cover Story DFW Renaissance Man Cold Shoulder 9 The MANual 9 Renaissance Man Guide 10-11 Blitz babe of the week Mahria 12 Restaurant Review Lue’isiana Po’ Boys 13 BLITZ Entertainment Seven Things In Seven Days 13 Hollywood Profile 14 Movie Review 14 Confessions of a Thirty-Something 15 SkyMall is the Answer 15 2012 Mustang Boss 302 16 Gadgets 16 The Joystick 16 Blitz Funnys Jokes/Horrorscopes/Weird News 17 The CLOSER Weekend Relaxer 18 Christmas Meaning Lost 18 2-Minute Drill 18 Publisher Kelly G. Reed Editor C. Patterson Food, Entertainment and Lifestyle Editor Judy Chamberlain Photo Editor Darryl Briggs Cover Photo: Eric Leuthardt Cover Model: Chris Patterson STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS John Breen, Gregg Case, Steven Hendrix, Rick Leal, Kevin Jacobson, Joe Lorenzini, Chuck Majors STAFF WRITERS Hannah Allen, Tony Barone, Geoff Case, Vivian Fullerlove, Robin George, David Goodspeed, Jack E. Jett, Frank LaCosta, Mark Miller, Jesse Whitman

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Jeffrey Beall, Dominic Ceraldi, Allan Chatto, Yu-Ping Chen, Ken Colwell, John Fowler, Kaleb Fulgham, Kent Gilley, David Goodspeed, Gene Han, Brandi Korte, Avinash Kunnath, Hoch S. D. Leben, Eric Leuthardt, Nordea R. Marathon, David Ortez, Jason Pearce, Matt Pearce, Michael Pieracci, Luca Rossato, Nathan Rupert, Dave Smith, Dustin Wax, Tom Woodward, [asH]TRAY, Boston Bill, Crawford, Donkey Hotey, fs999, indianadinos, mp3waxx, San Paulo Storm, thecomeupshow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Lauren Aiken, Joe Avezzano, Johnny Blaze, Jay Betsill, Cote Bailey, Sonny Capps, Andrew J. Hewett, Keysha Hogan, Tommy Smith, Jonathan Sullivan, Joe Stumpo

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Did you see that episode of WWE Raw when Ndamukong Suh of the Detroit Lions sleeper slammed Green Bay’s Evan Dietrich Smith into the mat? No wait, that was actually just Suh furthering his quest for suspension from the NFL on Thanksgiving Day - which he achieved by the way. The holiday fall from grace was actually the splintered actions of a gifted defensive tackle that is struggling to remain a personable and desirable spokesman. His potential as a pitchman was evident after NIKE signed him even before he was drafted into the NFL. Since then, he has signed deals with Dick’s Sporting Goods, Subway and Omaha Steaks. Suh’s recent Chrysler commercial highlights his humble upbringing, and paints him as the endearing giant. But his actions on the field paint a very different picture. Last summer he grabbed Cleveland’s Jake Delhomme by the face mask and slammed him to the ground and earned himself a $7,500 fine. Then, he was slapped with a $15,000 fine during the season for a hit on Chicago’s Jay Cutler. And, earlier this year Suh was fined $20,000 for hammering a helmet-less Cincinnati quarterback Andy Dalton into the turf. Fines certainly don’t seem to be curbing his behavior. It makes me wonder if the Lions actually want to reign him in at all. Imagine your team has gathered to review games tapes in preparation to play the Lions. In tape after tape your quarterback is slowly becoming more apprehensive about these dangerous collisions. Suh, as an opponent, can be downright frightening. Fear and intimidation have always been apart of the game, but with studies on brain damage in professional players calling for higher safety stan-

By Keysha Hogan @TheKeysha

dards this creates a PR problem for everyone involved. At the press conference after the Thanksgiving game, Suh feigned ignorance. He looked into the eye of the camera and said he repeatedly pushed the Green Bay guard’s head into the turf because he was unbalanced. Apparently, his equilibrium also got the better of him when he curb stomped his way to a more leveled footing. In a final pious response to the reporters Suh said, “... I know what I did, and the man upstairs knows what I did.” For his own sake, the man upstairs better not be NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. The Commissioner has been steadily raising the fine amounts on Suh and is finally fed up enough to issue a suspension. At the first hint of suspension talk, Suh issued a statement saying he learned from his mistakes and wants to refocus on winning. But I’m guessing he also learned not to embarrass those that pay him hefty amounts for that gentle giant image. When Suh plays, there is a captivating swagger that follows the apologetically brute force he displays in the game. But without any substantive action from the Lions or the NFL these type of smack downs are going to happen and will continue to get worse. Companies aren’t going to continue to pay endorsement deals for problematic pitchmen who act out in front of grandmothers on Thanksgiving. The image of a cuddly titan that Suh and his PR reps crafted has been shattered, and he’ll either lose a couple of deals from the fallout or lose a few games this season. Either way we’ll be seeing less of Mr. Suh until his new shtick is more professional athlete and less reminiscent of those brutal Black Friday riots.

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NCAA: #13 Oklahoma vs. #3 Oklahoma State

NCAA: #12 Georgia vs. #1 LSU

Sat. December 3 – 3:00PM – Georgia Dome – CBS

The entire college football world will be watching this one to see if LSU loses. The Bulldogs are a young team and might have a few surprises, but LSU should win this one with their eyes closed. The Tigers defense is stifling. Will Mark Richt keep his job? Will the Mad Hatter bring his own grass? If for some reason LSU should lose, expect BCS pandemonium.

Dallas Polo Club

Sat. December 3 – 7:00PM – Boone Pickens Stadium – ABC

The Sooners started the season on top in the polls but a few surprise losses have them on the outside looking in. Oklahoma State has a really good offense but their defense leaves a lot to be desired. This game should be a shoot out. It’s Bedlam and who knows what will happen. A Cowboys win and they could be in the BCS title game. Photo Courtesy: Avinash Kunnath Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook


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November 30 – December 6, 2011 VOL. 4 – ISSUE 13

Tigers Aim For BCS Title Game

Conference Title Games Still Relevant For those of you who have been under Plymouth Rock for the past week, the entire sports world has been sitting on the sidelines and hoping for what seems to be the inevitable ratification of the tentative agreement that was reached over Thanksgiving weekend between the players and the owners. The season is set to begin on Christmas Day (take that Grinch). What the “Unlocking” on the NBA means to you in DFW: 1. Our world champion Mavs finally get those rings. 2. The Dallas Stars get their American Airlines Center roommates back. 3. Our TVs will be flooded with “I Love This Game” and most assuredly “Welcome Back” commercials again. 4. We don’t have to worry about Dirk signing a deal with the LTi Giessen 46ers in Germany. 5. Mavs fans can put down NBA 2K12 and get tickets to the real thing. 6. We can stop sending hate mail to David Stern and blow out the cloths of our Molotov cocktails. 7. Again our television screens will be graced with Gina Miller talking basketball on TXA 21. 8. We are the defending World Champs for the first time ever…feels good don’t it. But of course there is the chance that this is all some pipe dream Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

NBA Unlocked (fingers crossed)

By Frank LaCosta flacosta@blitzweekly.com

For the first time ever the Big 12 Conference champion will not be determined by a conference title game. The memories of an unranked Texas Longhorn team upsetting the Nebraska Cornhuskers are just that. Memories. That being said, the newly expanded PAC-12 and Big Ten conferences will be participating in their first ever conference title games however neither of these will have BCS title game implications. The SEC title is the ‘Crown Jewel’ of this weekend’s games. One misstep by the LSU Tigers and BCS chaos will erupt in a manner that has never been seen, as every one-loss team will lay claim that they deserve a shot at the National Title. These one-loss teams still will vie to be the opponent. Conference USA Houston Cougars look to remain perfect in their showdown. If Virginia Tech wins the ACC title game they will certainly make a push to face an unbeaten LSU Tiger team. However they might have to wait in line behind Oklahoma State if the Cowboys take care of business with the Sooners in the Bedlam Series. The conference title game weekend kicks off with the UCLA/Oregon game on Friday, followed by Houston/Southern Miss on Saturday morning. The LSU/Georgia game takes place that afternoon with night games of Wisconsin/ Michigan State and Virginia Tech/Clemson. Your weekend is set. Now enjoy the games!

By Sonny Capps hhhup88@gmail.com

Now that you have had your fill of pies, dressing, a bunch of meats that used to have parents, got the in-laws out of the house, and kids back to school, you can really start to get ready for some good college football. Conference title games and bowls provide upsets, routes and if nothing else something for background noise as you sleep off the extra pounds you put on during this time of year. Georgia finally got away from Georgia Tech to win 31-17 last week. Now the Bulldogs will return to Atlanta this week to face off against LSU for the SEC Title. Before the Bulldogs left the field you could hear the fans chanting LSU! LSU! LSU! I tell you what “be careful what you wish for” because in this case you’re going to get it. With QB Murray being able to make good use of his arm or turn RB Crowell loose on the

ground, both of these offensive weapons and more must be used to try to keep up with LSU on the scoreboard. The Bulldogs have been able to keep their opponents to an average of only 17 points per game, and if there is any shot at winning the title, they must hold LSU to this average. LSU, not much to say, as long as they play to form and don’t get caught flat footed, they will be sending the Bulldogs home with their little tail between their legs. #12 Georgia vs. #1 LSU SAT. DEC 3 – 3:00pm / CBS Georgia Dome


VOL. 4 – ISSUE 13 november 30 – December 6, 2011

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By Tommy Smith tsmith@blitzweekly.com

By Frank LaCosta flacosta@blitzweekly.com

By Mark Miller mmiller@blitzweekly.com

By Sonny Capps hhhup88@gmail.com

The undefeated and #8 ranked Houston Cougars (12-0) will roll into the Conference USA Championship Game to butt heads with #24 ranked Golden Eagles of Southern Mississippi (10-2) and earn a spot in a BCS bowl game. The Cougars look as unbeatable as their record suggests after they walloped Tulsa 48-16 to earn their spot in the title game. Quarterback Case Keenum who has passed for a brilliant 4,726 yards this season leads Houston. What is even more amazing is the fact he has thrown for 43 touchdowns against a mere three interceptions. Keenum completes over 73% of his passes and throws for almost 394 yards per game. The Coogs’ are averaging 52.7 points per game and outscore their opponents by almost 32 points a contest. Houston’s defensive charge is directed by linebackers Marcus McGraw who has been credited with 120 tackles, and Sammy Brown who has 12.5 sacks and 26 tackles for a loss. Southern Miss punched their ticket to the title game by making fun of Memphis 44-7 last week. Quarterback Austin Davis leads the Golden Eagle offensive attack with 26 TD passes of his own. The Golden Eagles average a tick below 37 points per game. The Eagles have used a bevy of running backs this season most recently Desmond Johnson, who rushed for 103 yards on 11 carries against the Tigers. The Golden Eagle defense will make things tough for Houston as they forced three turnovers and scored two touchdowns last week against Memphis.

USM vs. #8 Houston Sat. Dec. 3 – 11:00am / ABC Robertson Stadium

The seventh ACC conference title game pairs the Virginia Tech Hokies with the Clemson Tigers. This will be a rematch from the October 1 game earlier this season where Clemson was ranked 13th in the country and totally dominated the Hokies 23-3. This is the lone blemish for the Hokies and they look to avenge the loss with a conference title and a hopeful BCS title game appearance. The Clemson Tigers are coming off a

two game skid and a disappearing act by their offense. A victory for the Tigers assures them a BCS bowl game. Sophomore QB Logan Thomas, who has an accurate arm and can scramble for yardage when needed, leads the Hokies. David Wilson, who has rushed for over 100 yards in all but two games this season, handles running duties. He doesn’t catch many passes out of the backfield and is more of a ground and pound back. WR Danny Coale is clearly Thomas’ favorite receiver. He has reeled in 50 receptions to lead the team but only had three TDs to show for it. Clemson when running on all cylinders can put up yardage and big numbers quickly. It all starts with QB Tajh Boyd who has 28 TDs this season. He is prone to costly interceptions when pressured. Boyd isn’t much of a threat to run. Look for RB Andre Ellington to carry the rock. WR Sammy Watkins might be a freshman but he has a lot of potential to be a game breaker. Boyd certainly has him on speed dial. #5

Virgina Tech vs. #21 Clemson Sat. Dec 3 – 7:00pm / ESPN Bank of America Stadium

Thanks to Nebraska leaving the Big 12 Conference for the Big 10, its old league no longer has a conference championship football game while its new one does. Saturday’s inaugural Big 10 Conference Championship is at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis and matches Legends division winner Michigan State against Leaders division titlist Wisconsin. The teams met October 22 in East Lansing, Michigan, when the Spartans won 37-31 on a Hail Mary pass at the final gun. So Wisconsin is overjoyed to have the potential last laugh and Rose Bowl berth on a neutral field. The Badgers lost to Texas Christian University in this year’s Rose Bowl. The Spartans’ only losses were at Notre Dame and at Nebraska, the latter the week after beating Wisconsin. Quarterback Kirk Cousins threw for 2,735 yards and 21 touchdowns, nine to wide receiver B.J. Cunningham. Le’Von Ball rushed for 794 yards and 10 touchdowns. On defense, Isaiah Lewis returned two of four interceptions for touchdowns. Max Bullough led with 80 tackles and the Spartans limited opponents to 15.4 points per game. The Badgers’ only other loss was October 29 at Ohio State on a late pass play. Wisconsin’s massive offensive line helped running back Montee Ball to 1,645 yards and a Big 10 record 34 overall touchdowns. It also gave quarterback Russell Wilson enough time to complete 72 percent of his passes for 2,692 yards and 28 touchdowns. Defensively, the Badgers are led by linebackers Mike Taylor (128 tackles) and Chris Borland (124) and also feature the nation’s leading punt returner, Jared Abbrederis. They yielded just 15.2 points per game. #15

Wisconsin vs. #11 Michigan state Sat. Dec. 3 – 7:17pm / Fox Lucas Oil Stadium

Ducks Look To Win First Title Game

Badgers Look to Bite Spartans

Hokies Hope To Be In BCS Title Mix

Houston Looks to Earn BCS Birth

Who knows which UCLA team will show up Friday night, if you’re a Bruins fan you better hope it’s the one that can score, you also better hope coach Neuheisel is also in attendance. Without the rumors swirling about Neuheisel being fired, the Bruins have enough to worry about

when they face the high flying Ducks. UCLA has won big and lost big this year, but to have any hopes of escaping with the PAC 12 Title QB Kevin Prince must improve on the passing game and not completely rely upon RB Franklin. Offensively you must have more than one weapon to bag these Ducks, and defensively, well good luck against the Ducks. Eighth ranked Oregon has slipped twice this year, the season opener against LSU and to USC a few weeks back. The Ducks are one of the top rushing teams in the nation and QB Darron Thomas can hurt you in the air, but with RB LaMichael James eating up 1427 yards on the ground, throwing the ball doesn’t happen much. Oregon opened the year ranked 3rd in the polls, but after getting thrashed by LSU most people dismissed them and have forgotten what a high-powered offense they possess. Unless the Bruins pull out all stops and can find a way to slow down Oregon, this game could get ugly. Oregon will be focused on winning its third straight conference title and a trip to the Rose Bowl. Hard to see any reason the Ducks won’t be flying south after this game is over. UCLA vs. #8 Oregon Fri. Dec. 2 – 7:00pm / FOX Autzen Stadium

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November 30 – December 6, 2011 VOL. 4 – ISSUE 13

By Tony Barone tbarone@blitzweekly.com

By Sonny Capps hhhup88@gmail.com

TCU coach Gary Patterson could see it coming. The emotional high his players experienced with a win at conference rival Boise State left them running on fumes against Colorado State at Amon G. Carter Stadium. The Horned Frogs came alive in the second half behind touchdowns by Antoine Hicks, Ed Wesley, and Matthew Tucker and Tank Carder returned an interception 69 yards for a touch-

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down as TCU beat Colorado State 34-10, helping the Horned Frogs keep their hopes of going to a second-straight BCS bowl game alive. “We just went through the motions in that ballgame, the whole game,” Patterson said. “If you want to be champions and a top 15 program, you’ve got to do things the same every week. Not once in a while. Every week.” TCU was outgained in the first half, but still led 13-3 at the break. The Horned Frogs got rolling in the third quarter and were never really threatened while handing the Rams a sixth straight loss. The Horned Frogs extended their Mountain West conference record by winning a 23rd straight league game and 16th straight league game at home. The game marked the second-tolast game in the conference for TCU, as they are headed to the Big 12 next season. TCU quarterback Casey Pachall completed 13 of 20 passes for just 117 yards, but Waymon James had 108 yards rushing to lead a balanced rushing attack as Tucker ran for 94 yards and Wesley for 63. Hicks’ two-yard TD came on his only carry of the game. Colorado State’s Chris Nwoke followed up a 232-yard rushing performance last week by rushing for 60 yards on 21 carries. “That was a win, but it’s not a win I’m real excited about. Except for the seniors who have 45 wins.” said Patterson. He was referring to the victory being win number 45 for TCU’s senior class, setting a school record. The seniors will go for one more win in the regular season finale December 3 against UNLV. A victory against the Runnin Rebels will give TCU the outright Mountain West Conference title. UNLV vs. TCU Sat. Dec. 3 - 1:30pm / Versus Amon Carter Stadium

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UNT Prepares For Senior Day

Frogs Avoid Letdown

The Mean Green have had a week to recuperate, rest, and get ready to host Middle Tennessee State for Senior Day and the team’s final game of the year at Apogee Stadium. UNT took a loss against Western Kentucky two weeks ago and watched as their chances for a winning conference record and an outside shot at a bowl game went to the winds. After a new stadium and coach have been put in place for the team, one final win can bring UNT to .500 in conference, dismissing the 27 seniors with a feeling of accomplishment and provide a positive look forward of the years to come for the rest of the team and its incoming recruits. Middle Tennessee State (2-9) doesn’t have much to play for and should provide the win UNT will need to finish the year on a positive note. MTS did beat Memphis, not really sure what that says about MTS as Memphis wasn’t

much of a test for anyone this year either. Middle Tennessee can score if the chance is provided, so as DB Ryan Downing takes the field for his last game in a Mean Green jersey, he must lead the defense to one last stoppage of its foes. Coach McCarney and his staff have suffered through some growing pains in his first year, all of which can be expected, but no one, including McCarney, expected the overall improvements of the Mean Green to get to this level this fast. When asked about having the chance of winning out the last two games and being bowl eligible, McCarney stated “what are you smoking”. So with the way this UNT squad has played, the efforts put forth, and milestones reached, one should look at the overall season being a success. RB Dunbar should be back to 100% as he suits up for his last run as a UNT player, and as long as QB Thompson keeps this offensive unit focused for this matchup and moving forward, the Mean Green should be well wishing the seniors away with a win. MTS vs. UNT Sat . Dec. 3 - 3:00pm Apogee Stadium


VOL. 4 – ISSUE 13 november 30 – December 6, 2011

STARS Dallas Stars Injuries Mount

By Tony Barone tbarone@blitzweekly.com

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Upcoming Schedule: 12/1 Senators 7:30 p.m. 12/3 Islanders 7:30 p.m. 12/8 @Sharks 9:30 p.m. 12/10 @Kings 9:30 p.m. 12/13 @Rangers 6:00 p.m. 12/15 @Islanders 6:00 p.m. 12/16 @Devils 6:00 p.m.

The Dallas Stars ended an eventful week with a shutout loss to Phoenix, and lost starting goalie Kari Lehtonen to an injury. The week began on a positive note, with Vancouver businessman Tom Gaglardi being formally introduced as the new owner of the Stars at a Presser held at the AAC. “I want everybody to know that this is truly one of the best days of my life,” Gaglardi said. And he had a message for Stars fans, who have seen the team deal with financial woes the last couple years and miss the playoffs three straight seasons. “I know that the last couple of years have been especially hard for Stars fans,” he said. “To all of you, first let me say thank you for your patience and your support and please know that the uncertainty is now over.” The Stars responded to the new ownership

is happening with this team. Are we rock solid yet? No. But every time we do that, we move a step closer.” “It’s sticking with that full 60 that we talk about,” said Assistant Captain Steve Ott. “It’s sticking with our structure. It’s sticking with the program. Nine out of ten times it usually pays off. If we continue to stick with that mentality, were going to be in games. We may not win every game, but we’re going to be in every game and have a chance to win every game.” The come from behind win over the Kings marked the fourth time this season the Stars have been down late and found a way to tie it and then picked up the win in either overtime or the

by gaining points in each of the next three games at home, with a blow out of the Edmonton Oilers followed by a come from behind win over the L.A. Kings, before losing a shootout to the Toronto Maple Leafs played before the first sellout crowd of the season. Along the way the Stars found out that their emphasis on sticking with their game for 60 minutes can pay dividends. “I think this team knows what it needs to do and [the win over L.A.Wednesday night] was just a reinforcement of that,” said Stars coach Glen Gulutzan. “Every time you reinforce your beliefs they become stronger. I think that is what

shootout. Do the math and that’s eight big points over the first 21 games of the season. “It’s a 60 minute game and you have to have that attitude,” said Gulutzan. “Every night in this league, I’m finding, you need to find some way to get points. That means sticking with it.” After the 3-0 loss to Phoenix to end the week, the Stars placed Lehtonen on injured reserve with a groin injury, joining captain Brenden Morrow (upper body), defenseman Alex Goligoski (broken thumb) and right wing Adam Burish (broken hand) on IR. In addition, defenseman Trevor Daley and center Vernon Fiddler left the game and did not return to action. Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook


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November 30 – December 6, 2011 VOL. 4 – ISSUE 13

COWBOYS

Cowboys 7-4

Cowboys Head to the Desert

By Jay Betsill @thefamousjay The Dallas Cowboys’ 20-19 Thanksgiving Day victory over the Miami Dolphins was their fourth consecutive win and the fourth this season decided by a kick by rookie Dan Bailey in the final two minutes or in overtime. The Cowboys improved to 28-15-1 on Thanksgiving with Romo going 5-0 on the annual holiday game. “We’re just finding ways to win,” said Romo, who had a pair of touchdowns to counter two interceptions. The Dolphins (3-8) had four drives that ended within 10 yards of the end zone only to settle for field goals. Rob Ryan’s defensive unit shut them down every time. Former Cowboys quarterback Matt Moore was 19 of 32 for 288 yards and a touchdown for Miami. He was also sacked four times. Reggie Bush rushed 16 times for 61 yards and had 35 more on three receptions. Brandon Marshall had 103 yards on five catches, including the TD pass hauled in while Terence Newman had him in a bear-hug as they crossed the goal line.

“When you come into somebody else’s place, those (red zone drives) have got to be touchdowns,” Miami coach Tony Sparano said upon watching his team’s three game winning streak come to an end at Cowboys Stadium. “They’ve been touchdowns the last few weeks and that’s why you win.” Next up for the Cowboys is a trip to the desert to battle the Arizona Cardinals (4-7) at the University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale. The Cardinals are coming off a 23-20 victory over the St. Louis Rams that was highlighted by rookie Patrick Peterson’s record-tying fourth punt return for a touchdown this season. The other players with four punt returns for a TD are Devin Hester (2007), Rick Upchurch (1978) and Jack Christiansen (1951). Ironically, it was only three weeks ago that Peterson had a 99-yard return in overtime beat the Rams. Peterson already has more punt returns for touchdowns than anyone in Cardinals franchise history. “My hat goes off to the 10 guys in front of

me,” Peterson said. “Those guys definitely made it possible for me to continue running balls back. Hopefully more good things happen throughout the season.” With the Cardinals quarterback John Skelton throwing for a paltry 114 yards -- including a 41-yarder to superstar wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald -- the bulk of Arizona’s offense fell to running back Beanie Wells. Wells responded with a franchise record 228 yards on 27 carries and a touchdown. Granted, this feat was accomplished against the same Rams unit that allowed 253 yards to the Cowboys’ DeMarco Murray in Week 7. Arizona’s rookie linebacker Sam Acho had the best performance of his career notching two sacks and a fumble recovery helped offset the second consecutive erratic game from Skelton. Starting quarterback Kevin Kolb’s injured right foot was too sore for him to play against the Rams, and he was inactive for the fourth consecutive game. As of press time, Kolb’s availability

Upcoming Schedule: 9/11 @ NY Jets 24-27 loss 9/18 @ SF 27-24 win 9/26 Washington 18-16 win 10/2 Detroit 30-34 loss 10/9 Bye 10/16 @ New England 16-20 loss 10/23 St. Louis 34-7 win 10/30 @ Philadelphia 7-34 loss 11/6 Seattle 23-13 win 11/13 Buffalo 44-7 win 11/20 @ Washington 27-24 win 11/24 Miami 20-19 win 12/4 @ Arizona 3:15pm 12/11 NY Giants 7:20pm 12/17 @ Tampa Bay 7:20pm 12/24 Philadelphia 3:15pm 1/1 @ NY Giants Noon

against Dallas was not known. “The defense is really starting to get a grasp of what coach (Ray) Horton has planned for us,” said rookie linebacker Sam Acho. “It’s a constant process of getting better.”

3-4 Becomes 7-4 It wasn’t very long ago that the Cowboys were devastated by the Eagles and people (fans and critics alike) were wondering if it was too late to get in on the Andrew Luck sweepstakes. The Giants were rolling and it looked bad for the season. Then a few things happened, Tony Romo got increasingly healthy as his ribs healed and the schedule got noticeably easier while the Giants schedule got incredibly harder. Now with the Giants on the horizon for two games the Cowboys could have a one or two game lead. The latest victory being a 20-19 last play thriller on Thanksgiving Day. We need to state that the Dolphins are not viewed as being a good team. Mainly because of their 0-7 start to the season. Three of those were by three points or less but still they were 0-7. Then they came into town on a three game winning streak and had not given up a single touchdown in those three games. The Cowboys didn’t look as dominant or as sharp as people (fans and critics) would like but they did this: Again got a solid performance from DeMarco Murray as he became the best runner in the NFL, statistically, in his first six starts as he has racked up 834 yards. No one ever has done that. 1. Again got a superb performance from

By Joe Avezzano www.hattricksdallas.com Dan Bailey as he kicked the game winning 28-yarder to go to 26-straight for the season becoming most accurate field goal kicker in the league. 2. A Tony Romo alert to you Romo haters. For the second week in a row he engineered the winning drive in the fourth quarter or overtime as he went 7-7 on the last drive. 3. The defense, while bending more then they would like, shored up their red zone defense and held Miami to field goals and got the ball back on three and out for the last drive. 4. Put Dez Bryant in the game to be a punt returner on the last kick and got a 22-yard return to set up good field position on the last drive. I know that the Cowboys have beaten only one team with a winning record, that being the San Francisco 49ers. I know that there is a tough stretch of games in December and I also know that to make the playoffs they total the wins at the end of 16 games and the teams with the most get to go to the playoffs. They don’t ask how many were pretty or how many were road wins, they just ask how many. Think Washington and Miami games were big? Yes, I know that a field goal in each game could

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have meant defeat for the Cowboys. And if they had lost those two games and been 5-6 right now how many people (fans and critics) would think they could win five-straight and go to the playoffs. None! So pack up the wins and let’s go to Arizona and see if we can get another win. There have been really good Cowboy teams that have gone to the desert and struggled. However, that was outside where the dry climate would affect the players and now they are indoors and I don’t think it’s as tough a trip. Arizona is not a good team. They have maybe the best wide receiver in Larry Fitzgerald and then not much. The Cowboys will be the ones to watch. Play to your capabilities and you win. Keep winning and it becomes a habit. You expect to win, not hope to win – huge difference. All games are big and the biggest is the next one. Joe Avezzano can be heard Tuesday nights at 7pm on 95.3FM and on all Cowboy postgame shows on 105.3 The Fan. He can be seen on Channel 21 on Wednesday nights at 7:30pm. Join him for great food, sports, music and his TV show on Wednesday nights.


VOL. 4 – ISSUE 13 november 30 – December 6, 2011

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in interruption slate $249.99

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If you haven’t noticed it’s getting a tad bit nippy outside, so we asked Savannah to pick out some of the jackets that she’d most like to see you in this winter. These element protectors represent the perfect harmony between style and function, because one should never have to choose between cold or “cool.” Of course in our opinion she looks better in them than you will.

Grenade Mens Matrix Jacket in slime $129.99

Spyder Titan Mens Ski Jacket in red $375.99

The MANual

By Lauren Aiken - www.LaurenAiken.com

To feel good on the inside, sometimes we need a little boost on the outside. Appearance isn’t everything, but let’s get real – it kind of is. The way you dress and carry yourself speaks volumes and can even impact your success in the workplace. Just because you’re a guy doesn’t mean your wardrobe should be limited to t-shirts and jeans, Dockers®, and those three special occasion button-downs. It’s time to toss the tattered boxer shorts you’ve been holding onto since freshman year and start matching your socks with your dress shoes. And if you haven’t picked up an iron in your lifetime, now would be a good time to start practicing. Here are some essentials to get you started on the path to becoming a perfect gentleman.

Watch Yourself You might be busy chasing other arm candy, but this sporty timepiece will ensure you’re never late for an important date. The Dylan chronograph from Fossil® ticks “vintage” and screams sophistication. Its classic stainless steel construction and a tachymeter topring give it unique personality at an affordable price.

Linked In Back in the day, men used ties or ribbons to hold their cuffs together. Today they have FELDO. Make a statement with the stainless steel A-1 cufflinks, inspired by designer FELDO watches. The links are made of stainless steel covered in red gold and black plating, and accented with a carbon fiber inlay.

Week-to-Weekend Warriors There comes a time in a man’s life when Chuck Taylor’s just don’t cut it. Invest in a versatile pair of black dress shoes to get you from the office to the big night out and back again. These lace-ups from Kenneth Cole are designed in genuine leather and feature topstitching around the toe and heel. Leather upper; rubber sole.

Read Up, Man Up True manliness is hard to define. Taking lessons from classic gentlemen such as Benjamin Franklin and Theodore Roosevelt, authors Brett and Kate McKay have created The Art of Manliness: Classic Skills and Manners for the Modern Man, a collection of advice every man needs to know to live life to its full potential.

Smell Like a Million Bucks Scent is a powerful thing. Some say it plays a significant role in determining a woman’s attraction to a man. Enter Paco Robanne 1 Million – a highimpact fragrance that is said to create a “multi-facetted signature of masculinity” with notes of grapefruit, blood mandarin, peppermint, rose absolute, leather and wood.

$125 www.Fossil.com

$86 www.Feldo-Luxury.com

$129.99 www.MensWearhouse.com

$12 www.Amazon.com

$75 for 3.4 oz. www.Sephora.com

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November 30 – December 6, 2011 VOL. 4 – ISSUE 13

With the advent of Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, the iPhone, and the ever-expanding universe of ‘apps’ our world continues to get smaller. Fear not, this simply means your ability to know more and to be more is at your fingertips. Just imagine, back in the days of Leonardo Da Vinci if you had a question that someone in your family or village did not know the answer to you likely stayed ignorant forever – not so anymore. We are lucky enough to live in a time where knowledge travels at 4g speed to help you (re)discover the world around you. So, I ask you to step out of your comfort zone, learn something new and perhaps develop into an even better you. Allow me to introduce you to a new set of disciplines, your BLITZciplines if you will: Languages: Remind your brain cells of their intended brilliance and put them to work learning your second, third, or maybe even fourth language. If you need motivation to begin your journey into linguistics just think about how she will look at you when you look deep into her eyes, gently caress her hand and say, “Per favore mi passi il sale” translation “please pass me the salt” in Italian. Worth it. Look to: Adult Foreign Language Education at the Language Institute (Dallas Campus) They have regular courses offered for beginning, intermediate, and advanced students. Emphasis is placed on conversation and comprehension skills. Arts: Develop the right side of your brain by enjoying all the creatively stimulating avenues Dallas has to offer. From museums, to opera, to galleries, all the way to the symphony, you can find countless ways to break

out of your shell and immerse yourself in culture – take advantage of it. It will do more than the cliché of ‘expanding your horizons’; it will grow your perspectives and outlook on life.

Look to: Dallas Museum of Art With a wide range of exhibits from Jean Paul Gaultier’s From the Sidewalk to the Catwalk to Medieval tomb sculptures from the Court of Burgundy, DMA even has all the CliffsNotes for broadening your perspectives to include these beautiful works of art from around the world. The Goss-Michael Foundation Providing a forum for contemporary art and with a focus on British Art by presenting exhibitions and programs, aiming to educate, engage and inspire young and adult audiences the Foundation will put you at the vanguard of the international up and coming art scene.

The Dallas Symphony Orchestra Experience a world-class orchestra without ever leaving the Metroplex. Get closely acquainted with the name Jaap van Zweden and stand in awe of his work because a truly refined gentleman and renaissance man can converse about more than just Radiohead.

The Dallas Opera As general director & CEO Keith Cerny will tell you, “Opera is for everyone.” Get acquainted with one of the most eloquent art forms as you experience some of history’s finest compositions. If you have never been, I dare you to go. Double-dog dare.

Discover Burlesque A sensual form of theater- burlesque, will open your world not only to a group of very talented performers but also an array of comical subject matter. Often laced with great music, political satire and light-hearted mockery (not to mention gorgeous women) burlesque is the perfect spice to round out your glimpse into the arts. Viva Dallas Burlesque, La Divina, and Ruby Revue are good places to start. You’ll thank me for this one! Politics: No man should be unaware of his political surroundings. Whether or not he actively participates in the processes of the democratic system is entirely up to him, but he should at the very least understand the policies, candidates and bureaucracies that surround him on a daily basis. Thankfully, this isn’t as difficult as

By C. Pat cpatterson@

Noun: 1] A person with many talents or broad intellectual interests. 2] A person whose expertise spans a significant number of different subject areas.

Photos Courtesy: David Ortez, indianadinos, John Fowler, Donkey Hotey, Dustin Wax, Brandi Korte, Allan Chatto

Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com


VOL. 4 – ISSUE 13 november 30 – December 6, 2011

it sounds, and it can possibly elevate the lives of all of us. Look to: City Hall’s Posted Public Meetings Wherever you are in DFW you can find your area’s city hall public meetings that will assist you in staying abreast of major changes that affect your community which also provides you with the option of voicing your opinion.

Dallas County Republican/Democratic Parties Visit the websites, attend the events, and ask the right questions of both parties to get to know elected officials and their stances on what matters most to you. Being able to hold intelligent political conversation regarding the affairs of your world not only makes you a sharp and respected individual, but a conscious and aware renaissance man. Finance: Whether it’s fiscal responsibility or actually being able to read stock quotes (which is oddly enough looked upon like a foreign language) you should have a firm grasp on the monetary systems. Focus on the Federal Reserve and why it exists and work from there – just kidding – not really. There are many tools at your disposal to conquer or at least decipher the world of economics. Look to: Reputable Investment Management Firms Stay vigilant in the pursuit of solidifying your financial future. Find an investment management

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firm that best fits your needs and meets your standards; after all, they are incubators of your nest egg. But do your homework and become well-versed and familiar with any and all things that have to do with your money. Exercise your right to learn. Fun: A renaissance man should have a broader view of fun than just beer pong. This world is full of ways to get your blood pumping, be able to cut loose, or just relax. Every experience you have should enrich your life in one way or another and if it doesn’t it may be an indication that it’s just not worth doing. This last list will certainly liven up your conversational skills by simply allowing you to actually experience the content.

Look to: Exposure Indoor Rock Climbing The next best thing to hanging off a precipice in the “Garden of the Gods,” Exposure, allows you to climb out of your shell, literally and figuratively. Take a class and reap the rewards of conquering that wall as you cross another item off your bucket list. Sail Dallas There is no analogy to describe the wind, the water, and the warmth of the sun that comes with the ability to sail, and Sail Dallas will introduce you to this experience. So unleash your inner explorer and take a sailing instruction class. Learning how to sail will allow you access to life activity that can impact your very soul.

DFW Drive Your Dream Remember that blood pumping that I mentioned earlier? This was the inspiration for the reference. DFW Drive Your Dream can increase your appreciation and knowledge of the finer things in life to be realized in the automobile realm. Take their 2000-HP four-hour tour and drive a Porsche Boxter Spyder, Audi R8, Lamborghini Gallardo, and Ferrari F430 for an experience that will be the toast of all water cooler powwows. Hank Haney Golf After scaling walls, sailing, and driving some of the most amazing machines ever produced, the next logical step is in the direction of the golf course. Mastering the art of golf is a life long love affair and Hank Haney is a great place to start the relationship. Learning from Haney’s certified instructors will make your meetings on the green go much smoother – and a great lagniappe is that everyone seeks advice from a winner. Experience all these things in the ways that best fit you as an individual. Experience them at your own pace and with an open mind, but most of all – experience them. Go forth DFW Renaissance men - learn, feel, listen, and conquer!

tterson @blitzweekly.com

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November 30 – December 6, 2011 VOL. 4 – ISSUE 13

Blitz babe of the week

Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com


VOL. 4 – ISSUE 13 november 30 – December 6, 2011

Restaurant review

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Lue’isiana Po’ Boys Laissez les bons temps rouler

Warm hospitality, lots of seafood and absolutely incredible crawfish etouffee - there’s a lot to love at Pat and Monte Lue’s Carrolton restaurant, Lue’isiana Po’ Boys. The Lues, who moved to Texas from Nebraska because they always wanted to live here, have a real winner on their hands. For one thing, they’ve got the bread right. It’s French bread with a crispy, flaky and thin crust and a light, airy, fluffy center that they import from New Orleans. It is unmistakably the real deal, as anyone who has enjoyed the pleasures of the French Quarter’s most historic restaurants will immediately recognize. For me, this is one of the things that sets Lue’isiana Po’ Boys apart from other Cajun style eateries I’ve visited in Dallas. It’s a small detail, but a very important one. The bread is from Gambino’s Bakery. Devotees of po’ boy sandwiches will know exactly what that means. The po’ boy sandwich is said to have been invented by a pair of brothers, Benny and Clovis Martin – the latter a former streetcar conductor - who owned a restaurant in New Orleans. During a fourmonth streetcar strike in 1929, the brothers fed unemployed streetcar workers sandwiches made of inexpensive bits of meat on French

By Judy Chamberlain jchamberlain@blitzweekly.com

bread through the back window of their restaurant. The restaurant’s employees called the strikers “poor boys,” and soon the sandwich itself took on that name – New Orleans dialect and all, y’all. Gambino’s has been baking its New Orleans French bread since 1949. A po’ boy sandwich without it might just as soon be a Chicago beef sandwich. Not that there’s anything wrong with a Chicago beef sandwich. But I digress. Today, in New Orleans, there are Vietnamese po’ boys - Bánh mì – neighborhood restaurant po’ boys and humble versions of the popular sandwich that are sold in corner groceries and sandwich shops. Several high-end restaurants in the French Quarter have their own versions of gourmet po’ boys these days, too. Today’s po’ boys contain more than bits of meat and gravy (referred to as “debris”). They are often made with fried shrimp or oysters, catfish or fried chicken. Cornmeal batter is the standard for breading the fish or chicken, and a properly “dressed” po’ boy sandwich is going to be stuffed with shredded lettuce, tomatoes, pickles and remoulade sauce. When owners Pat and Monte Lue opened their Carrollton res-

taurant a little over a year ago – hence the spelling: Lue-i-siana Po’ Boys, get it? – they did it with love in their hearts and to fulfill Monte’s longtime dream of owning a restaurant. Pat created the recipes, and Monte does the cooking. The good people of Carrolton are delighted to have them there, and have made Lue’isiana Po’ Boys their home away from home. Folks gather ‘round to bask in the glow of the owners’ warm hospitality. I’m sure the crawfish etouffe is part of the draw here. I am not ex-

aggerating when I say that it is the best etouffee I have ever had – and I lived in New Orleans for several years. This stuff is amazing; takeout customers order it for parties by the gallon – literally.

Lue’isiana Po’ Boys 1104 S Elm Carrollton, TX 75006 (972) 245-7900 www.lueisianapoboys.com Mon. – Thurs. 11 a.m. – 7 p.m. Fri. & Sat. 11 a.m. – 9 p.m. Photos Courtesy: Hoch S. D. Leben, fs999, thecomeupshow, Michael Pieracci, Nordea R. Marathon, Nathan Rupert, Jason Pearce, mp3waxx

WED. 11/30

The Nutcracker Margot & Bill Winspear Opera House - Dallas Ah, The Nutcracker, fodder for so many boyhood jokes. Now that you’re all grownup you can go see men in tights and not giggle…ok maybe just a little. 7pm.

thurs. 12/1

Cheesemonger’s Birthday Surprise Scardello - Dallas Enjoy most just any old cheese and wine, but the select choices of cheese aficionado Rich Rogers. This is exactly the time of place you take her to escape the doghouse. You’re welcome. 7pm.

fri. 12/2

Big Sean Granada Theater Dallas Kanye West’s protégé, Big Sean, has been making quite a man for himself in the music world. But he’s finally making it to the big time! Viva la Granada! Show starts at 8pm.

sat. 12/3

West End Pub Ugly Sweater ContesT West End Pub – Dallas It’s that time of year again, raid Grandma Ruth’s closet! Hurry up and grab her tacky, elf and candy cane sequenced sweater (yeah the one with the Christmas lights) and come collect your prize at 9:30pm.

sun. 12/4

White Rock Marathon & Relay 4950 Keller Springs Rd. – Addison Bask in the perfect blend of urban, residential, and lakefront running. We hear there will even be a special beer check-in to recruit Hashers. Lace up your New Balances at 8am.

mon. 12/5

MNF @ Hooters Hooters – Addison Come on out and watch the game with your pals at Hooters and enjoy all you can eat wings and $3 tall boy beers. Legend has it that the scenery ain’t so bad either. Kickoff’s at 7:30pm.

tues. 12/6

Kanye West & Jay-z AAC - Dallas The Watch the Throne descends upon Dallas bringing two of the biggest acts in Hip-Hop history with it. The ever-eccentric Mr. West and Beyonce’s baby daddy hit the stage at 7:30pm. $80

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November 30 – December 6, 2011 VOL. 4 – ISSUE 13

HollywoodProfile

By Vivian Fullerlove vfullerlove@blitzweekly.com Before Frasier Crane and Dr. Linda Freeman (Jane Lynch’s hysterical character on Two and a Half Men) there were the originators, Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, arguably two of the most brilliant minds of the 19th and 20th centuries. David Cronenberg’s new docudrama A Dangerous Method takes a look at the intense relationship between the two psychologists and their relationship with Sabina Spielrein (played by Kiera Knightley), the first female psychoanalyst. The film covers a few key years early in their partnership and the time they spent reshaping the way people think about the way people think. Viggo Mortensen plays Freud, and he sat down to discuss the film and the psychology of playing Freud.

scious of [the] public perception of himself [and] of the science. He wanted to keep things tidy. He was a very formal, tidy person in some sense old fashion really. He kept on dressing in the same way for decades and his German he wrote in the way German was written in the 18th and 19th century and never really changed it. He looks quite serious you know, but what you realize in reading about him and what his contemporaries said about him and even reading his letters that he exchanged with Sabina is that there was a very dry humor to him, a lot of times a dead pan humor, which has been really fun to play. In conversation, he was witty and personable and rather easy going, but there was always a high standard.

How did you prepare for this role? I did what I always do in one sense. I read everything I could possibly find that Freud had written, that others had written about Freud, what Jung had written, what they had written to each other in their letters, what Sabina had written, what her ideas were, how much credit she was given or not by Jung and Freud.

What was the relationship between Freud and his younger contemporary Carl Jung? Jung represented something new and wonderful. There was a different kind of energy. While Jung was differential, he was his own man, and I think Freud liked this for many reasons, new blood, new ideas, someone to talk with on an equal level, to learn from.

What were some of the most interesting things you learned about him? Freud was very con-

But the fascination wore off. You see the basis of their quick and

easy early friendship, but you also see the basis of what later is their discord. Some of which was due in part to Sabina Spielrein, who was the first female psychoanalyst. Right? (It’s always a woman, even with geniuses!) Certainly Sabina, in a way she brings them close together, but at the same time she breaks up their relationship a bit, not directly herself, but the effect of her relationship to Jung in particular. What would you say, in summary, is at the core of the film? What is it about? It’s about not so much how bright they were and what pioneers they were. It’s about the mistakes they made and how imperfect they were. That’s where the passion is. That’s where the emotion in the story is and the humor. A Dangerous Method is no light movie fare, but it is a remarkable glimpse into the life and brilliance of two very complicated men. The film is open in limited theatrical release; so, check your local listings for showings at a theatre near you. The film is rated R for sexual content and brief language.

You can check out A Dangerous Method at theaters all round the Metroplex. It is rated R for sexual content and brief language.

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Carjacked

By Jonathan Sullivan jonathanpsullivan.wordpress.com

with Viggo Mortensen

With a somewhat lackluster 2011 and a not too promising (except for a certain Dark Knight film) 2012, I have become burned out on Hollywood and big budget studio fare. So instead of reviewing another wide release this week, I’m bringing to you something from the world of straight to DVD. My choice? Carjacked, an action/thriller starring Maria Bello and Stephen Dorff and although you probably already assume it’s bad since it didn’t premiere in theaters, I’m here to tell you that it isn’t. Well not completely. Bello stars as Lorraine, a divorcee who’s facing losing custody of her son Chad (Connor Hill) after an accidental case of negligence. While stopping for gas one night she is carjacked (shocker!) by Roy (Dorff), a bank robber on the run from the cops. What follows is a tense ride, as Lorraine tries to get herself and her son out of a dangerous situation with a very unstable and unwanted passenger. Carjacked has some of the staples of straight to DVD movies, including an absolutely wretched opening credits scene, but it’s saved by the performances of both Bello and Dorff. They give their characters enough dimension and depth to keep them interesting and their chemistry with one another leads to all sorts of effective scenes, from the tense to the comedic. Dorff is especially great as Roy, making him both an insane thief/killer as well as a likeable guy with his own moral code. Lorraine’s son Chad, however, is a different story and almost makes scenes unwatchable with his constant complaining and stupidity. He serves a purpose and is a source of motivation, but whenever he opens his mouth it’s cringe-worthy. Still, Carjacked is a watchable movie, filled with some cool action scenes and truly tense moments. It’s definitely not something that would have flown in theaters, but as a Straight to DVD movie it stands as one of the better ones thanks especially to the work of Maria Bello and Stephen Dorff who elevate the material on their talent alone. Some of it is less than stellar, especially the obnoxious child and the fact some scenes are left in just to pad the running time, but as a whole it’s a good Redbox rental on a Sunday night. For a $1.20 you get to see something different and avoid crowds; that’s a win-win, right there. *Goof – I don’t want to give it all away but towards the end of the movie, there’s a scene with Lorraine and Roy in which Lorraine fires a shotgun. Look for the shotgun shells. That’s all I’m saying…


VOL. 4 – ISSUE 13 november 30 – December 6, 2011

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Confessions of a Thirty-something Grown-A*s Man Upon great introspection and self reflection, I have finally decided to come out of the closet and tell the world that it is indeed true: I have got the fever. The Bieber fever that is. Street cred be damned, I just cannot hide it any longer. For those of you out there who know me personally, chances are you have seen it coming for quite sometime now. To the masses that don’t, odds are you may already be a Belieber yourself or are simply still in denial. So now that we’ve got that out of the way, it’s time to all hold hands, sing “Kumbayah” (or “Baby”), and examine just what it is that has tens if not hundreds of millions of people all over the globe absolutely obsessed over this guy. First off let’s face it, if you grew up in the 80’s and early 90’s like I did then you were certainly no stranger to cheesy yet extremely catchy pop music. Hitting the roller skating rink on Friday evenings and cruising backwards to New Kids on the Block, Boyz II Men, and New Edition was your staple. Then we all began to grow up, got over the puberty hump, and went off to college where suddenly you weren’t cool unless you listened to 20 minute jams from some

By Johnny Blaze comments@blitzweekly.com band called Widespread Panic. MTV became complete garbage through the creation of TRL, or Total Request Live in layman’s terms, and the new generation of teeny bop music consisted of NSYNC, Britney Spears, and the Backstreet Boys. Thanks a lot, Carson. But then, as is the case with all fads, the majority of those groups and artists witnessed a sharp decline in their popularity. Now, in order to be a hip teen you had to like “indie” bands and the boy band era quickly became a thing of the past. That is until along came a kid named Justin. I’ll never forget seeing him on Saturday Night Live for the first time. It was like an awful acid flashback. Not necessarily to those blissful middle school and junior high days but to the college ones described earlier when hearing the sound of Nick Lachey or Christina Aguilera’s voice that would beat me into submission like a figure four leg lock applied by the Nature Boy. Who is this twirp I asked myself. How is he on SNL? Are people actually into this stuff again? After doing some investigating and going through some life changes, it all gradually started to make a little bit of sense

and the conclusion was reached-this kid has got a little something. The tide turned on that fateful evening when yours truly was introduced to JB’s film/documentary, Never Say Never. It was then that I realized that he not only had extraordinary talent, but had a great back story to accompany his meteoric rise to fame and success. It also became clear that the Biebs has a huge heart and a genuine adoration for all of his fans. The mind boggling part of the whole thing becomes apparent when you take a quick look at any of your favorite internet sites. The aforementioned song “Baby” has over 600 million views on YouTube. He’s just cracked the 14 million followers mark on Twitter and has 37 million fans on Facebook. Throw in the almost riot-like scenes wherever he goes and you’ll see it’s for good reason: the music is simply infectious and puts you in a great mood. If this all makes me “gay” (in the BaD radio sort of way) then so be it. Either way one thing is certain-I’m smilin’. Are you?

I am here. Under the little girls. I love you Bieber!

Photos Courtesy: Radio 1 Interactive, [asH]TRAY

SkyMall, the answer to all life’s problems How does one end up with something like a “Thunder Shirt?” I guess I should take a step back and explain what I am talking about. A thunder shirt, incidentally, is an item I recently purchased from SkyMall, and it is in essence a cleverly marketed device which when used properly will relieve your pet dog from a plethora of anxiety disorders. Not only does it provide relieve of your dog from a gamut of anxiety disorders, it will turn your dog into an unstoppable “Bat-Dog.” It is a wonder suit capable of stopping bullets, anxiety, hair loss, politics, organized religion, and obesity. It is the canine equivalent of ber-Spanks! (Spanks! For those of you not familiar with Miami night life, Spanks are the modern day girdle that can turn the most pudding like figure into something desirable. Or that is how it is marketed at least. Now, I realize that SkyMall is a niche marketing ploy that takes advantage of the frailty of humans in flight. At thirty thousand feet, breathing mile-thin air and recirculated flatus…confronted with pulmonary edema, dehydration, and the crushing inevitability of existence with only a wafer thin hull of protective material separating you from certain death… we are vulnerable. Coupled with that six hour red-eye flight and we will find ourselves more susceptible to cheesy advertising than a shopo-holic in an “as seen on TV” store.

By Jesse Whitman jwhitman00@gmail.com Well, now that I’m on firm ground I have long since sobered up from the in-flight delirium. I have to admit, when the Thunder Shirt arrived it was like a flashbulb memory of something soul crushingly embarrassing done under the influence. I’m sure you know the experience…the vague recollection, the fuzzy details, you were sure it was a good idea at the time, but now you are chewing your nails thinking, “what on Earth was I thinking?” Well…you weren’t on Earth, but far above it…with a SkyMall magazine in your hand! Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of an overpriced piece of crap. I am fairly sure I purchased the Thunder Shirt in order to negate some of my dogs more annoying habits. Namely, barking at any and everything that can happen in a dog’s day. It should come as no surprise then, purchasing something from SkyMall, that the Thunder Shirt was little more than a shocking disappointment. What I was really trying to combat was my dog’s Napoleon symptoms. You know what I am talking about…how little dogs will talk shit with the biggest canines they come across. Although, usually, they just sniff each other and if your dog is as weird as mine… they lick each others’ wieners and go about their day. What I found was that the Thunder Shirt gave my pooch the confidence he needed to

disobey all logic and reason and do such things as leap out of my bike basket while under full speed. A pint sized pooch with an overdeveloped sense of self, unhindered by the anxiety of actually being the size of a squirrel, is a dangerous combination. Like Tony Montana a la “Say ‘ello to my little friend!” It is a bad combination. It was at this moment it was at this moment that I realized I had paid far too much for a product that promised far much more than was realistically possible. It really was nothing more than a length of tee shirt material tarted up with some Velcro and priced on par with a month’s worth of work from an Indonesian child working a 16-hour work day. With all the annoying legalese in this country to prevent people from doing stupid things you think someone would have sued SkyMall by now, or at least put a surgeons general warning on the front. Me, I have to find some tape and ship this thing back.

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November 30 – December 6, 2011 VOL. 4 – ISSUE 13

2012 Mustang Boss 302: Serious Power Surge

By David Goodspeed dgoodspeed@blitzweekly.com The Boss is back – and it is badASS! The 2012 Mustang Boss 302 is the most fun I have had in a pony car since, well, ever. I even like this new Ford more than my cherished ’69 Camaro with the solid lifter crate motor. Ford has brought its heritage forward four score as they re-release the Boss 302 on the newest Mustang platform. Originally released in 1969, the Boss 302 was the first of three Boss factory performance models and was intended to help Ford compete in SCCA racing. Fast forward to 2012 and the new Boss lives up to every bit of its legacy – and then some. True, I never drove an original but after spending a week behind the wheel of the 2012. I really don’t care to experience the classic version (except perhaps to have it in a collection). As much as I appreciated Ford’s improvements for the newest Mustang platform, the Boss 302 is even that much better. The 5.0 in the GT with a six-speed manual gearbox was my pick of the litter of new factory fun

Engine Type 5.0-liter, four-valve Ti-VCT V8 Displacement: 302 cu. in. Redline: 7,500 rpm Horsepower: 444 @ 7,400 rpm Torque: 380lb.-ft. @ 4,500 rpm Transmission: Six-speed manual Fuel Economy: 17 mpg city / 26 mpg highway

cars so with the power and handling improvements made in the Boss it puts the Mustang over the top. The 2012 Boss 302 is still a daily driver but can be taken straight to a track and hold its own quite well, thank you very much. And once owners participate in a Ford track program they receive a coveted red set of “TracKeys” that unlock even more of a beast hidden within, enhancing response and handling characteristics. If all this were not enough, Ford is building an even more exclusive Laguna Seca version of the new Boss 302 to honor the racing heritage of this great car. The power plant of the new Boss is a 5.0-liter V-8 but power has been boosted to 444 ponies and 380 lb. ft. of torque. All Boss 302 models come with a slick close-ratio six-speed manual transmission connected to a limited-slip rear differential with 3.73 rear axle ratio. A race-inspired clutch with upgraded friction materials mated to a short-throw shifter will

have just about any driver falling in love with a manual gearbox. And then there is the sweet, sweet music the engine produces. I don’t think I turned the car stereo on once while I was driving the Boss. Instead I preferred to roll the windows down and let the car entertain my senses. “With an exhaust system, we have to consider three constraints: legal noise restrictions; backpressure, which can rob power; and ground clearance,” explains Shawn Carney, Mustang NVH engineer. “Since the 2011 Mustang GT exhaust is already so free-flowing – it came in way under our backpressure targets – we already had excellent performance; we were able to tune the exhaust system for a unique sound. Combined with the rush of the intake, the exhaust system really envelops the driver in V-8 sound.” Unique to the Boss Mustang is the ability for owners to tune their own shock damping based on their driv-

ing needs. One is most comfortable while five would be your choice at the track. The Boss gets other suspension and handling enhancements over the GT Mustang with higher-rate coil springs, stiffer bushings, beefier rear stabilizer bar and the Boss 302 sits 11mm lower in the front and 1mm lower at the rear. And of course there are Boss 302-specific lightweight 19-inch alloy racing wheels with staggered widths front to rear and they sport Pirelli PZero performance rubber. Braking is world-class thanks to Brembo fourpiston calipers on the large 14-inch vented rotors up front and beefier GT gear at the rear and Ford engineers even give the ABS system unique performance tuning. Inside the neo-classically designed Mustang is a set of Boss 302 Recaro sport buckets that are very supportive while not giving up much on the com-

fort. Ingress and egress is a bit tighter but that is how things should be given the Boss heritage. Boss 302 cars get unique front fascia and grille styling with the addition of an aggressive lower splitter and a trunklid spoiler. Finishing the look is the unique Boss 302 body striping on the contrast paint schemes. What always amazes me are the questions I get with people asking about fuel economy on performance vehicles I test. Really? OK, to satisfy those requests the 2012 Boss 302 is rated for 17 mpg city and 26 mpg highway. Happy? (And yes, as a matter of fact, my results DID vary.) Pricing rolls in at around 42 grand for a 2012 Boss 302 so you are paying for the performance but if you are an old gearhead like me the experience will be worth every single penny.

The Difference Between a Man and a Boy is the Price of his Toys! these are for sure to make your want list! Bean Bag Sled We’re pretty sure that someone, somewhere has slid down a snow-covered hill atop a bean bag before, but they probably didn’t have as good a time as you could aboard the Bean Bag Sled. To reduce the shock to your lower back, it features an inflatable air bladder inside, which is surrounded by tons of the 2mm polystyrene spheres you’d expect, and also boasts top and sides made from double-stitched PVC-coated polyester, a bottom mesh of double-coated PVC, and a strap. Quick, where’s the non-caloric, silicon-based kitchen lubricant? $300

Tascam IM2 Stereo Microphone Looking to do some recording with your iOS device? You need the Tascam iM2 Stereo Microphone. Made specifically for the iPad, iPhone, and iPod Touch, this pocket-sized powerhouse features two high-quality, adjustable condenser microphones, an internal microphone pre-amp and analog-to-digital converter for pristine sound, a stereo limiter to quiet sudden loud sounds — like gunshots — and a USB port for keeping things charged up while you’re recording. Great for interviews, concerts, and attracting inquisitive “What the hell is sticking out of his iPhone?” stares. $80

Officially BLITZ Approved – 8.5 out of 10 Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

Console: Xbox 360 Rating: M Developers: Bungie, Certain Affinity, 343 Industries

By Cote Bailey www.almostnerdy.com

Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary Review Hopefully on Black Friday you burst through the doors of Walmart, ran straight to the electronics aisle, and picked up HALO: Combat Evolved Anniversary. This game is the ultimate homage to the first ten years of the iconic game. But it doesn’t stop there; this is a full-fledged celebration of Master Chief. Boasting a vivid re-mastering with a collection of classic maps from

the first and second games added in the multi-player campaigns. From the beginning, HALO reasserts it’s dominance. Returning to The Pillar of Autumn was goose bumpinducing. Overhauled graphics using Saber3D are incredible, while still keeping complete reverence for the original. As a masterpiece for the FPS genre, developers were faced with a tall task of making a re-creation of a game loved by so many. They succeeded. The game was left to its original glory with the exception of a few tweaks (co-op mode & Kinect voice

support) weaponry, gameplay, and level maps remain virtually untouched. This is a great way to get re-acquainted or perhaps even sit down for the first time with a title that literally changed the landscape of video games and Anniversary is a fitting homecoming for the hero. I can’t quite describe the feeling of holding the controller in your hand and seeing the circular space station (Halo) and fighting those missions all over again, but I would place it right between the feelings of eating warm apple pie and high-fiving Mario.


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Blitz Funnys

Q: What has one hundred balls and screws old ladies? A: A bingo game.

CLUMSY-FINGERED DRUGGY November 16, 2011, Reuters news service told of “needy” Aaron Sartin, of Kearney, Nebraska. In his haste to buy drugs, the 23-year-old began sending text messages to his supplier... he thought. In reality, he was texting a number belonging to a Nebraska state trooper, meaning he was soon arrested for driving under the influence of drugs, possession of marijuana and paraphernalia, with other charges pending.

The Long Crawl A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stands up to leave a bar and falls flat on his face. “Maybe all I need is some fresh air,” he thinks as he crawls outside. Once outside, he tries to stand up again, but falls face first in the mud. “Screw it,” he thinks. “I’ll just crawl home, then.” The next morning, his wife finds him in the hallway, asleep. “You went out drinking last night, didn’t you?” she asks. “How’d you know?” he replies, angered by the implications. “You left your wheelchair at the bar again.”

Sagittarius November 22 – December 21 You’ll be amazed at all of the free time you have after being fired from your job. Capricorn December 22 – January 19 The saying that life is a journey will come to fruition on Sunday afternoon when your car runs out of gas in the middle of nowhere. Aquarius January 20 – February 18 The voice of reason will be muted as you continue to play Call of Duty while your child is being born.

Pisces February 19 – March 20 The stars dislike you and will call you an Aggie from now on. Aries March 21 – April 19 The white elephant gift that you’re trying to avoid will be all yours. What are you going to do with 500 pounds of cream cheese? Taurus April 20 – May 20 Your family will be reunited and happy at last while attending your funeral.

HIS GUESTS WERE ALL STIFF World news services reported in November 2011, Anatoly Moskvin, a 45-year-old historian, was considered the ultimate expert on cemeteries in Nizhny Novgorod, Russia. He was also blamed for digging up 29 bodies and taking them back to his apartment, where he dressed them in women’s clothing and displayed them in lifelike positions. Oh, he also shared that apartment with his parents. (Though necrophilia - having sex with a body - was not observed in this case, it was assumed.) MORE ON NECROPHILIA In 1989, while studying cases of necrophilia, researchers Jonathan Rosman and Philip Resnick found 68% craved sex with a totally nonrejecting partner, while 21% pretended the reunion to be with a past love. For the rest, a corpse was a turn-on/helped to overcome loneliness/built self-esteem …or they just disliked talking with anybody during sex. (The “shut-up, woman” syndrome.)

Gemini May 21 – June 21 There is a strong possibility that you will achieve fame this week when the TV show Cheaters catches you at McDonald’s.

Virgo August 23 – September 22 All of the glory that you will be receiving this weekend will come from the receiving end of a glory hole at the adult video store.

Cancer June 22 – July 22 You will feel robbed when you open your Chinese fortune cookie only to find that it bears no fortune.

Libra September 23 – October 22 You picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue at work!

Leo July 23 – August 22 You feel strange that all of Santa’s elves keep telling you that your hair smells nice.

ACROSS: 1. Blaze 6. Corrosive 10. Bristle 14. Light purple 15. Sailing ship 16. Journey 17. San Antonio fort 18. Small amount 19. Flows 20. Despotic 22. Skin disease 23. Bran source 24. Not clergy 26. Prawn 30. What a bee might do 32. Bonkers 33. Corn liquor 37. “Oh my!” 38. Remove errors from 39. “Iliad” city 40. Circumference 42. French for “Queen”

43. Submarine detector 44. Detects 45. Slogan 47. ___-tac-toe 48. Bird of peace 49. Irrefutable 56. Weightlifters pump this 57. A noble gas 58. Attempted 59. After-bath powder 60. Carryall 61. Requested 62. Found in some lotions 63. At one time (archaic) 64. Apprehensive DOWN: 1. Level 2. Easter flower 3. Winglike 4. Mother 5. Frugality

Scorpio October 23 – November 21 Your blind date will ruin your weekend when she fails to show up at Chuck E. Cheese for lunch.

6. Acknowledge 7. Fashionable 8. Greek letter 9. Domicile 10. Unbend 11. Spew 12. Of very poor quality 13. Church alcove 21. Short sleep 25. Autonomic Nervous System 26. Smack 27. Puncture 28. Lion sound 29. Continual and persistent demands 30. Not drunk 31. See the sights 33. Anagram of “Meat” 34. Colored part of an eye 35. Not a single one 36. Visual organs

38. Speak out against 41. French for “Word” 42. Performance 44. Transgression 45. Virtuous 46. Convex molding 47. Basic belief 48. Devil tree 50. Close 51. Sleep in a convenient place 52. Backside 53. Bicycle 54. Lascivious look 55. Countercurrent

Solution on Page 18

Q: What’s the cheapest meat? A: Deer balls, they’re under a buck.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian? A: She kept having affairs with men!

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November 30 – December 6, 2011 VOL. 4 – ISSUE 13

The CLOSER

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Christmas Meaning Lost in Hustle and Bustle

Mahr’s Christmas Bock Brewed by: Mahrs Brau ABV: 6.00% Rejoice! Finally, A holiday beer to get you in the mood. It pours a perfectly clear deep gold color with a rapidly dissipating white head. A great aroma with hints of honey and spice with a sweet and malty taste. The taste is bready and lightly fruity flavors going on throughout. The mouthfeel is medium bodied and a little bit on the sweeter side. A great beer that pairs well with heavy food. Sancho Panza Cask Aged Wrapper: Connecticut Shade Binder: Connecticut Broadleaf Filler: DR/HOND/NIC Strength: Medium This cigar is a “reborn” Cuban classic. It’s an extraordinarily mellow and complex smoke. The blended filler certainly impresses as you take your first draw. This highly rated smoke is affordable, so have one everyday. Flaming Lamborghini Ingredients: 1 oz Kahlua Coffee Liqueur 1 oz Sambuca 1 oz Blue Curacao Liqueur 1 oz Bailey’s Irish Cream Mixing Instructions: Pour the Sambuca and Kahlua into a cocktail glass. Pour the Bailey’s and Blue Curacao into two seperate shot glasses either side of the cocktail glass. Set light the concoction in the cocktail glass and start to drink through a straw (this drink should be drunk in one). As the bottom of the glass is reached put out the fire by pouring the Baileys and Blue Curacao into the cocktail glass and keep drinking till it’s all gone.

By Joe Stumpo www.darthstumpo.com As this column goes to press, it is now 25 shopping days until Christmas and I have one question. Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that society forgot what Christmas really means? The public’s belief when it comes to the holiday season every year is buying the right gifts for their son, daughter, mom, dad, relatives, and even their dog. Most though don’t do it in a holiday mood. Almost everyone I’ve seen at the malls beginning the day after Thanksgiving is having a bad hair day. Perhaps there were too many cars in the parking lot because they had to walk a great many miles to get to the store. Or it is simply just too many people packed in the malls to move around freely. Pity the underpaid employees with smiles on their faces who are forced to be courteous to such irate vultures only to have their required acts of kindness thrown back in their faces. A guy I know who has the unfortunate pleasure of working in retail said to me last year, “If these people would go to church, they wouldn’t be so mad all the time.” “Christmas has become too commercial,” said a woman I know at work who planned on buying only gift certificates for people this year. “It’s all about money.” It isn’t just about money. Has anyone ever had a perfect stranger wish them a Merry Christmas or Happy New Year? The last time I remember any of that happening was three decades ago. It was one of those rare December days in Chicago where the temperature was in the mid 60s and the sun was out. My mom, my sister and I were riding our bikes in the forest reserve trails; something Dallas doesn’t have. As we passed people by, everyone was wishing each other Merry Christmas whether they were on their bikes or taking a walk. Other than hearing it from co-workers, relatives, parents, and siblings, I have not heard that kind of holiday

greeting come out of anyone’s mouths since. My main concern or focus today is not so much on gift giving. If I want anything, I go buy it myself. Now that we have established why I never have any money, I can say the best thing to get for people are gift certificates. Christmas, however, is more than that. It is spending that

one time of the year with family and friends whom you never see except when you talk on the phone. It also means for those of us who go to church only once or twice a year, which is Christmas and Easter, like I do and those who go every week, celebrate the birth of Christ. It is about family and religion. Not everyone today thinks that way. To them, this holiday is all about money. To quote Lucy from A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965), “We all know that Christmas is a big commercial racket. It’s run by a big eastern syndicate, you know.” Then again, I think the spirit of Christmas died decades ago when NBC bought the rights to show It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) once a year. I miss those days in December where that film was shown every day up until New Year’s. I don’t know the exact reason why the classic film was made exclusive only to NBC but I am sure it had something to do with money. BLITZ salutes the movers, the shakers, the fearless, and the incredible that DFW has to offer. You may not have heard of them yet - but you will.

Name: Brandi Austin Team: BlackFinn Stats: Sales & Marketing guru responsible for everything from V.I.P parties to the Apollo moon missions. Her creativity and greatness is second to none.

Ok here goes: You with bare knuckles, Kim Kardashian with nunchucks… who wins? Me, I’m super athletic. My second toe is longer than my big toe, you know what that means don’t you? [Google it]

Best thing about your job at BlackFinn? The loyalty. They really support women, my word matters here. I run my own programs and it’s all about fun here.

Your style icon: Jennifer Lopez

Last time you threw a punch? [Giggling] Oh my gosh, I don’t hit people.

Favorite sip: I’m not drinking now, but when I do I am a beer girl so, Budweiser or Michelob Ultra.

Oh, well that makes this next one difficult. No, go ahead. Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

Home remedy for hangovers: Emergen-C or just have another drink

Phrase that you use way too much: “Treat them like gold”

Most important thing in your closet: A gray scarf from New York and my stilettos What’s more embarrassing: fart in public or fall in public? [Laughing hysterically] Fart! I fall all the time. 11th Commandment: Everyone should a great sense of urgency.

Know any movers & shakers in the Metroplex? Send us an email and nominate them to be drilled and get the recognition they deserve. editor@blitzweekly.com


VOL. 4 – ISSUE 13 november 30 – December 6, 2011

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