I have been in the last few months, so silent and yet so enveloped by what you want. And it has been beautiful, what you want. But you have got to understand that I have been confused, that I’ve been closed to your loving and giving. And I've not wanted this, my body and heart has been closed to this
So what I am saying is that by not feeling as though I can express myself and be accepted, I have built up a way of denying myself the true expression of my feelings; and as a result become choked up and silent, withdrawn and cold. And I can't live my life like this
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