You go out for drinks with friends and pay with your unemployment credit card. You can’t make it to most things on time; yet are diligent about checking into the places you are at on Facebook and Foursquare. You attend an intimate dinner at a fancy French restaurant with friends who happen to own the place; yet your bankcard was declined at lunch and you couldn’t even afford Baja Fresh. You sit front row at a fashion show; yet have no clue who the designer is. You fly on a private jet to Las Vegas with 10 of your coolest, I mean closest, friends for an all expense paid trip in Sin City where you party like a pack of hyenas in the Real World Suite of the Palms Hotel; yet you haven’t paid your rent – and it’s the 14th. You don’t have health insurance; yet you do know a doctor who prescribes you Xanax. You have VIP and backstage passes to Marilyn Manson where you mingle with the privileged peeps backstage; yet couldn’t name one of their songs. You drive a BMW to the grocery store and then use
You Can Say You’re From LA When … By Karen Knighton
your food stamps card to pay. You have a bartender, waiter or waitress friend that works somewhere you can get free or nearly free drinks; yet still under tip. You know it’s against the law to text while you drive; yet also think if you hold your phone down below the window no one will notice. You haven’t gotten a physical in years; yet regularly get your nails done, eyebrows shaped and nether regions waxed. Your car registration is past due; yet your medicinal marijuana patient card is current. You don’t have any meetings or pressing business engagements; yet insist on keeping your cell phone on that table with friends at lunch. You complain that you have no time for jury duty and ignore the summons; yet can make it to several court dates to fight a red light camera ticket. You can’t possibly afford to replace that crown or get regular cleanings; yet you make certain to see Dr. Glossman, Beverly Hills Cosmetic Dentist for a swift 1-hour teeth whitening. After all, smiles are still free!