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CINDERELLA (An alternative fairy story) Long ago…I forget the date lived a family on a poor estate There was Cinderella…a bonny lass on whom hard times had come to pass She had two step-sisters (complete dogs) whose faces both resembled hogs Buttons too…a family friend his life beneath their roof did spend This sad quartet did not live well In fact…poor Cinders life was hell Her pushy sisters were very lazy and almost drove the poor lass crazy It was ‘tidy up’ and ‘sweep the floor’ ‘make the beds and answer the door’ She did all the cooking and washing and stuff poor Cinders really had it rough Whilst her idle sisters’ lazed in bed she fed the cats and baked the bread ~With help from Buttons she cleaned their mess The sisters’ never were impressed They merely sneered and without a flicker would throw at her their dirty knickers Washed and pressed they’d re-appear along with a complete change of gear Sometimes I wondered ‘flipping heck she can’t be playing with a complete deck’ Else she’d have told them ‘way to go’ but would she do it..oh dear no They’d reduced her to a quivering heap by not allowing her to sleep

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They thought up tasks (the awful hags) designed to line her eyes with bags and wreck her lovely skin so fair and give her spots and dull her hair None of it worked..but still they tried Oh how poor little Cinders cried Till one day at the corner shop She spied a notice for a local hop She dried her eyes and found a biro and then sped off to cash her giro But the ugly sisters (oh weren’t they wicked) they would not let her buy a ticket They stole her money and bought new dresses and got someone in to style their tresses and on the night they both appeared It was just as Buttons and Cinders feared They gave them both a list of jobs and threatened to punch in both their gobs if either ventured out that night It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right But an hour after they had gone above the stove a bright light shone It gave poor Cinders quite a turn it really made her stomach churn When a fairy shone out of the light with a dress and wand that twinkled bright Don’t worry Cinders…drop that mop I’ve come to send you to the hop With that she tapped her on the arm Poor Cinders thought she’d done her harm Until she looked and then she saw her ragged clothing on the floor and by her side a metal rack of designer frocks to grace her back She chose a dress of scarlet leather with boots to match…oh she was clever Upon her head she placed a wig then set off for the local gig She was so excited she scarcely heard the fairy’s last and final word ‘be sure to leave the dance by twelve else into my box of tricks I’ll delve and then your sisters’ will find out just what it is you’ve been about qnd that sporty car that you so like

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will turn into a rusty bike Goodbye my dear…and do enjoy perhaps you’ll find a nice young boy’ Inside the hall she turned all heads with her affro hair and leather threads The guest of honour..young Prince Charming asked her to dance and tucked his arm in He held her close and with a leer asked her where she’d bought her gear It was exactly then that midnight struckl and Cin was heard to mutter ****l and off she ran into the night They said she looked a proper sight and as she ran she lost a boot and twisted her wrist and sprained her foot She hoped that there would be no blisters to be explained to the ugly sisters Next day the sisters ranted on about the dance and what went on They said the Prince was simply smashing Sharp and sexy…dark and dashing They talked about the leather boot and thought it all a complete hoot ‘til on their door there came a knock that sent them into complete shock There stood the Prince with boot in hand In ermine cloak…he did look grand He said…’I’m searching for the foot that will comfortably fit this boot The ugly sisters’ tugged and shoved This was their last chance to be loved Alas their giant size elevens could never fit the dainty seven and as the Prince turned round to leave young Cinders tugged at his ermine sleeve ‘Hello Princey…dig that suit Thanks for bringing back my boot Really there’s no need to stare Its only me…without the hair’ With that she tried to push the boot onto her red and swollen foot Needs to say it wouldn’t go Oh how the sisters laughed..Ho Ho The Prince’s face filled with relief Till someone else tugged at his sleeve

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And a gentle voice said ‘I understand that whoever’s foot in all the land can fill this boot of scarlet leather the Prince will marry…whatsoever The Prince then kissed young Button’s hand and placed on it a golden band He said ‘there’s something I must say I’ve known for ages that I’m gay Despite my hectic social whirl I’ve never really fancied girls Show me a guy in skin tight jeans and I’ll show you what horny means Young Buttons here is as you see my very tasty cup of tea So sorry ladies if it was in your head that if your foot fit we would wed I merely wanted to find out where she bought her clothes and got her hair Well..they were gob smacked truth to tell I must say it shocked me as well I mean..as the writer I should have seen That the prince really should have been The Queen

Jean Barton (Copyright reserved)

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Cinderella by Jean Barton  

An Alternative Fairy Story

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