Amsterdam, The Netherlands
June 3,4,5 2016
THE WINDMILL WIPE Yellow journalism from inside the tournament toilet.
Happy Wiping Greetings dear reader, hopefully at this moment there is a toilet under or nearby. It is an honor to share this intimate moment with you. The Windmill Wipe is here to help you on and off the bowl. Sure, you’ve got a smart phone, but we’ve got breaking news from every corner of this tournament, delivered to you while you do your thing. Eat that twitter!
Herbie Ready To Kick Things Off (Amsterdam) - Windmill doctors have medically cleared Herbie for full participation in opening ceremonies where he is expected to kick things oﬀ in front of a capacity crowd. Windmill 2016 spokesperson Marieke Buijs assured TMZ last night that Herbie was ready to go and fully recovered from a dislocated trunk injury sustained during a crash at the Gran Prix in Monaco earlier this year. She neither confirmed nor denied rumors that Herbie may retire from race car driving following this latest setback.
50% Can’t Believe They’re Here
Breakfast Sounds Fri 8h00 Iggy
(Thursday Morning, Day 0) - According to new study published by the Society of Frisbee Tournaments And Sports Stuﬀ (SoFTaSS), 2 out of every 4 Windmill 2016 participants “Can’t believe they are here.” In addition to this popular feeling amongst players, research also indicated a tendency for players to be “looking for my team” (40%) and feeling “already a bit drunk.” (25%) Being unable to accept reality is a natural reaction to overwhelming new environments, according to SoFTaSS lead researcher Dr. Jeﬀ Lebowski, “It’s fairly common, because Windmill.”
Body Technique Fri 9h15 & 10h @Spaloon
Cache of Frisbees Confiscated
Goaltimate Clinic Thurs 18h00 @Field 16 Opening Ceremony Thurs 22h00 @Iggy Bonfire Sounds Thurs 22:30 @Iggy Square
KARAOKE Every Night 20h00 @Karaoke Container Pull Contest Fri & Sat 20h00 @Field 17 Beer Race Fri 21h00 @Iggy Square Mingle Mingle! Fri 22h00 @Iggy Square
Vol 1. #Windmill2016
(Amsterdam Police HQ) -Police and tournament directors are still investigating the origin of a cache of over 1600 discs that was discovered in a wooden crate outside the front gate yesterday. What is known as of this morning is that the discs are made of plastic, manufactured in the USA within the last 6 months, and contain graphics related to what is thought to be gang related activity. Authorities have not yet divulged what gangs are involved or whether or not the discs are safe to play with. The investigation is ongoing, pending the outcome of some “science-lab-tech stuﬀ ”.
Poorly edited by Bicyclemark