48 INSPIRING CARE FOR OUR FAMILIES & FRIENDS
I
t has been five years since I lost my wonderful mother very suddenly to cancer. Prior to this my father had been diagnosed with mild Alzheimer’s/ dementia. My parents had been school sweethearts and lifelong companions and the loss of Mom accelerated Dad’s disease. The day of her funeral, my dad begged me to allow him to stay in their home until God called on him, so I arranged for home health to assist with his care as I was working fulltime and lived about an hour away. One month after we laid Mom to rest, I received the dreaded call from home health informing me that the time had come to make a decision regarding his care as he kept falling and couldn’t remember to push his life line button. I dreaded this day and knew it would take a toll on me to remove him from his home, knowing he would never return. I called the clinic to make an appointment, but since he was quite sick at the time, they got him in the same day. His doctor informed me that he would need to be hospitalized until all of his vitals were stable, so I had to admit him to Brookings Health System. The short drive from the clinic to the hospital was overwhelming and something I will never forget as he kept begging me to take him home. Once we arrived at the hospital, he became very upset with me and was saying things that were very hurtful and not normal. I knew that Dad’s hurtful words were more of the disease talking than him, but it still hurt very deeply and I could feel myself losing control. Mom had worked at the hospital for twenty seven years so some of the nurses knew me and of our situation. Shortly after we were in the emergency department room, the nurses pulled me aside to talk. They were so compassionate and understanding. They reassured me that what I was doing was the right thing and that I needed to get the strength to follow through for Dad’s own well being. At that time they asked me to take a break and walk away for awhile and they would get him settled down. Later on that day I came back to see Dad in his room upstairs and he seemed very content. A few days later we had to make the adjustment to the nursing home, which wasn’t an easy transition, but with time he seemed to adapt quite well for the remaining four years of his life. Without the help and support during this confusing time, I don’t know what I would have done. Doctors’ and nurses’ interactions with families during difficult times can make a significant difference. I will always be grateful for the help and guidance that all the health care workers from home health, the clinic, hospice and the hospital provided me during these trying times. —Vickie Alschlager, Human Resources Specialist