family I was fine. It made my eating worse, not that I eat the wrong foods, it was just my habits. I have always been very physically active, and in year 8 I joined a Rugby team to channel my anger. It helped a lot, but the bullies were still there. Things changed in year 9, when a group of girls beat me very badly. I had my nose fractured and severe bruising to my stomach, all I remember them saying was “kick harder, she’s fat, she can’t feel it” - it was one of the lowest points in my life.
That’s when I had realised I had to do something. No one is going to stand up for me but me. I pretended I’d fell in gymnastics to my mum, and to the school I said I’d fallen off the climbing frame. Soon after the attack, we broke up for the summer holidays and I changed, I forced myself to stand up for myself, watching inspiring documentaries and films, and reading other people’s stories. I started taking care of myself. I got my hair done, I changed my image to show off my features, and
60 - www.bgpmagazine.co.uk
Photography by Chiara Aprea
I started feeling better about myself. I didn’t want to be that girl who self-harms and suffers in silence. I went to a make-up counter and asked the store for help. I realised that what my baggy boys top and tracksuits were hiding me. I felt uncomfortable and I wanted to change. My mum
was thrilled and took me shopping, and soon I was wearing tight tops and jeans. I looked good, my chest was big and my waist small, and when boys started to look, that gave me the biggest confidence boost! Going back to school was a nightmare but with a new uniform, hair do
and confidence, I went in head high and when they tried to knock me down a firm two fingers went up in their face. I fought back, and to my complete surprise things changed, they respected me for standing up to them. My bullies became my friends, and as long as I was around I made