How the Grinch Stole Christmas 2008 Edition
Every Who down in Who-ville liked Christmas a lot, but the Grinch, who lived just North of Who-ville, did not! His previous schemes had done no good at all. Christmas came with no trumpet or bangle or ball, Or freezle or frumpet or diddle-de-deest! What was worse, they had won - he had carved their roast beast! He needed to do more than take all their toys To silence all Who-ville’s young girls and young boys. So he puzzled and puzzled. Oh, how his mind ran! And finally, that mean old Grinch hatched a plan!
“Subprime mortgages!” said the Grinch with a shout. “Once they’ve bought into those, then they’ll never get out! Unaccountable ratings and credit-default swaps Make it easy to do and steer clear of the cops!” So he turned to his dog and said “Hey, Max! Hey there! You’d better get typing! Not a moment to spare!” So with Max at his desk working morning to night, Worthless paper piled up to a staggering height And the Whos down in Who-ville, they bought it in tons! They ascended Mount Crumpet in tens, threes, and ones And they used the Grinch credit to build new Who homes, Who McMansions with pools and brand new velodromes.
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Then the Grinch just sat back with a big Grinchy smile. Two Christmases passed. Three. Four. Five. All the while, He was patiently waiting. Then, suddenly, SPLAT! Who-ville’s financial sector implodes - just like that! The Whos down in Who-ville, the tall and the small, Haven’t any idea what hit them at all. But they can’t afford freezles, no, not in the least, and certainly not a new diddle-de-deest. On the morning of Christmas the Grinch cocks his ear, Wondering what wails of despair he might hear.
To his horror, he hears their Who-voices in song! Something is horribly, horribly wrong. As he listens, their words become terribly clear. He plugs up his ears, but still he can hear The whole town of Who-ville, all bursting in song, Proves to the Grinch that his plans have gone wrong. At the end, all the Whos sing out just for the Grinch in a tone of pure kindness that makes his heart flinch. “Mr. Grinch, you’re a very slow learner,” they call. “Merry Christmas to you, and to Max, and to all!”
(c) 2008 Highland Estates Productions
How the Grinch Stole Christmas 2008