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bethel university p. 9 Advice from Ken & Lex

Campus Recycling pages 10-11

p. 4 Hispanic Heritage

p. 12 Chris O'Neal

p. 18 Football on the road

the clarion Why did the BC hours EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Greta Sowles MANAGING EDITOR Amanda Ahlm NEWS EDITOR Sarah Boadwine CULTURE EDITOR Cherie Suonvieri SPORTS EDITOR Jared Nelson STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Drea Chalmers STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Kristine Schmidt LAYOUT DESIGNER Mary Quint LAYOUT DESIGNER Chris DeWuske COPY EDITOR Isaac Barden COPY EDITOR Jillian Schmid

STAFF WRITER Michael Urch michael-j-urch@bethel. edu STAFF WRITER Stephen Chang stephen-chang@bethel. edu ONLINE EDITOR Patnacia Goodman ADVERTISING AND MARKETING MANAGER Renee Beacham ADMINISTRATIVE ADVISER Heather Richards ACADEMIC ADVISER Phyllis Alsdurf PRINTER Northstar Media, Inc. Cambridge, Minn. WEBSITE FACEBOOK Bethel University Clarion TWITTER @The BUClarion @ClarionBUsports EMAIL

change this year? Ellie Drews

for The Clarion

Whether it's studying for an exam or having a quick friendly chat, the Brushaber Commons have been the students' go-to place. It often makes the building naturally light up with the typical hustle and bustle. However, late at night BC is nothing compared to the brash daytime normal. After the sun goes down, the BC is a peaceful place for a handful of night owls to cram for tests, catch up on extra study time or cozy up in what students like to call the “comfy chairs” on the second floor. Students who are regulars may have noticed that starting this fall semester, the closing hours have changed from 2 a.m. to 1 a.m. This change in closing time has ended up not being as impactful as some might have expected. According to Assistant Dean

of Students Heather Richards, she has no doubt about the minor impact of this change. “I worried initially we might suddenly have a surge of students wanting to use it this fall after 1 a.m.,” Richards said. “But the late night managers have reported no problems and that students tend to start leaving after midnight typically.” Richards mentioned that over the past three years, the late night staff that manage the BC have been keeping track of how many students were in the BC after midnight and also after 1 a.m. They had discovered that most nights there was either a small group of students or no one at all. Consequently, the proposal of the change was more efficient and comprehensive than it was thought to be. The late night staff had communicated to the Student Commons of their concern that it wasn't a

n d o osti


good use of the school's resources to staff, heat and light the building for the use of two or three students. Needless to say, this ended up being one of Bethel’s necessary budget cuts. Maybe this extra hour will give students more time to sleep and pass that exam, rather than cramming five hours before it. Nevertheless, the BC closing hours will be changed back during finals week to 2 a.m.

Have a question that you want us to explore? Email us at or tweet it to @TheBUClarion with a hashtag: #Goodquestion

MISSION STATEMENT The Clarion is a student newspaper for the Bethel University community. The views expressed are not necessarily those of Bethel University. The Clarion provides a forum for the exchange of information and ideas. Through truthful reporting, it functions as a resource and voice for the body it represents. The Clarion is published biweekly. All material herein is copyrighted and may not be reproduced without the written consent of the editor and Bethel University.

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Photo Week of th e




Learning for the Love of God: Part 1 Greta Sowles


One of the biggest challenges of academia is finding a way to worship Christ through the stresses and struggles of being a student. I often find myself forgetting that learning is a gift from God. Donald Opitz and Derek Melleby have written a book that discusses this. Learning for the Love of God: A Student’s Guide to Academic Faithfulness is soon to be published by Brazos Press. In the first chapter, the authors suggest two common expectations of college students: beer and circus or grades and accolades. Before lashing out in objection to the first expectation, hear what Opitz and Melleby have to say: “Perhaps a bigger problem than alcohol on American campuses is a pervasive disengagement from learning. Many students skip classes, scorn assignments and tolerate poor grades. They have given up on education.”

If you come to college expecting to easily evade the lure of the circus, be warned. It may be a very expensive mistake. The second expectation finds me feeling guilty. The premise of grades and accolades is that a competitive force of expectations has shaped students. These expectations can come from teachers, parents and even a personal phobia of failure. “When an aspect of life (such as success and grades or, as discussed in the previous section, fun and frolic) is raised up and given undue devotion, it becomes an idol.” How can we make sure that learning is not an idol? Optiz and Melleby suggest pursuing academics with the correct motivation and a worthwhile purpose in mind. Romans 12:1-2 says, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to forfeit your bodies

as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Have you ever thought about this verse in reference to your mind? This kind of sacrifice does not involve competitive academia or the distraction of the circus. It involves a complete mind, body and soul pursuit of Christ. “Every student begins college wide-eyed, full of expectations. Some dream of the paradise of earthly delights, and others of the rewards of high achievement. Both of these dreams are ultimately disappointing, and it doesn’t take too much soul-searching for students to discover that they want something more.” The answer? Jesus Christ.

What's happening around the world? E ric E iter

for The Clarion


Bethel celebrates Hispanic Heritage month M ichael U rch Staff Writer

Sept. 15 marks the Independence Days of Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras and Nicaragua. Since 1989, it also is the beginning of Hispanic Heritage month. This 30-day celebration brings to light the Hispanic people that have become a very large part of the U.S. “The Hispanic population will more than double, from 53.3 million in 2012 to 128.8 million in 2060. Consequently, by the end of the period, nearly one in three U.S. residents would be Hispanic, up from about one in six today,” according to 2012 U.S. census bureau projections. Perhaps the business department is most aware of this demographic change, and the impact it may have on its students. “Hispanics have become a rapidly growing population in the U.S…. which part of the Hispanic market are you going to target?”


said professor Rudy Cardona to his marketing class. Hispanic Heritage month centers around a growing population which will continue to have a presence within the U.S. culture. In Hennepin County alone, there was a 32,000-person increase in the Hispanic population from 2000 to 2010. That is 8 times the 4,000-person increase in non-Hispanic population. “It is really important that people understand that there are major demographic shifts happening globally and in American culture,” said professor Ruben Rivera. The Hispanic culture that continues to grow across the U.S. is also active on Bethel’s campus. Voz Latin@ is a studentled group under the umbrella of United Cultures of Bethel (UCB) within Bethel Student Association (BSA), which is meant to be a support and resource for Latinas/Latinos at Bethel and those interested in Latino culture.

“Right now we are building relationships within the group. What we hope to do is create more awareness for students of color on campus,” said Michelle Tellez, student director of Voz Latin@. “We want to create the kind of community where if you are having a hard time or want to get to know your roots a little bit better, we can talk about that.” In addition, the group gets together for other activities. “We will go to some professor’s houses for Hispanic food and dinner and fellowship with a lot of other people,” said Tellez. Voz Latin@ had an event on Sept. 24, where a documentary about Hispanic life was viewed. The event concluded with a question and answer time. These discussion events are hosted every month by UCB, and they offer the opportunity to interact with diverse cultures on campus. “I want to encourage people to get out of their comfort zone and learn about other cultures.

Everything that UCB does is a campus-wide event and people don’t always know that,” said Tellez. “I think what Voz Latin@ is trying to do is to help people achieve relationships. In the achievement of those relationships: Black, Latino, White, Asian—you name it. People begin to see things differently,” Rivera said. “Hispanic Heritage month is not a politically correct thing. It is another opportunity that can be taken advantage of to truly understand another people who are increasingly important in our culture,” he added. There are some very clear shifts happening in the American population, and this can bring out several responses. “To me as a Christian, I have to keep asking myself, ‘what opportunity do we have here?’” said Rivera.


BU gets a brand new face

n Bethel

undergoes rebrand in the midst of fiscal uncertainty

S tephen C hang Staff Writer

Over the past year, in the midst of a financial crisis, employee layoffs and decreased enrollment have become a concern to both students and faculty. At such a time, something has to be said about the fact that Bethel University has been quietly undergoing a rebranding process. It is one that has been hiding behind other seemingly larger issues. In the world of marketing, a rebrand is when a company takes on a new name, symbol or design in order to change consumer perception about either the company itself or the products or services the company attempts to sell. Bethel has undergone rebranding in the past. For years, Bethel was known as Bethel College, until in 2004, it gained fur-

ther accreditation and changed its name to Bethel University. The current 2013-2014 rebranding effort began in May of 2012, when Bethel began a candidacy search of marketing companies to both research and develop Bethel’s new image. In September of that year, Bethel formed steering committees, equivalent to consumer test groups in the corporate world, in order to receive feedback on the university. Bethel’s steering committees consisted of current students, as well as alumni and donors who were asked what they thought about Bethel, what they believe Bethel does well and what they believe Bethel does not do well. In October, the vendors that Bethel would use for its company were chosen. A company called Ologie was chosen to find the social and emotional feelings within the Bethel community. For the hard data col-

lection and analysis part of the rebrand, Simpson Scarborough was selected to find numbers and perceptions from the nonBethel community, and perspective students. After several months of work, both companies presented the first stage of their research to the university. Research found that Bethel was thought to be committed, intelligent and motivated on a rational level, and inviting, spirited and inspiring on an emotional level. From March to May of 2013, Bethel’s Creative and Web Services team met to develop a marketing strategy for the university. They also started the creative process of the graphical overhaul of Bethel’s marketing scheme and the contextual and social aspect. The team rewrote Bethel’s brochures to convey Bethels themes of “being inviting, spirited and inspiring.”

Michael Vedders, Bethel’s head of Web Services, noted that the new logo that Bethel will be using is almost complete and will help to “create synergy and bring the different academic branches of Bethel together.” Questions have been raised in regards to the cost of the rebranding project. While Vedders said that he was, “unable to comment officially,” a quick search finds that the average cost of a rebrand can run from between $200,000 to $400,000. In response to the cost of the rebrand, Vedders noted that the project was not “something that the university had just suddenly decided to do,” and that “Bethel divided the cost over three fiscal years in its budget.” Vedders also added that the rebrand was a necessary investment, noting that, “[it is] necessary for any institution to articulate who they are, so that those who resonate will join

your institution.” To Bethel’s marketing department, the rebrand is an essential part of establishing and cementing Bethel’s image to its past, present and future students. However, several students were asked and were unaware of the rebrand and why Bethel would do it now. To administration, the rebranding process is a necessary cost – an investment of sorts on which they are expecting a return in the form of new enrollment. To students however, questions of “Why?" and "Why now?” will continue to linger for some time. Time has yet to tell if such changes will positively impact Bethel’s brand image or financial situation. One thing is for certain– changes are coming as Bethel looks to reinvent its image while retaining its character.



Surviving the fiscal cliff: a follow-up

n Continued struggle to balance budget stresses importance of realistic projections Chris DeWuske

Layout Designer

On Sept. 24, faculty gathered in The Underground to hear administrative decisions on the budgetary shortfall. President Jay Barnes opened with a brief statement about the economic struggles for colleges and prayer for the university. Joe LaLuzerne followed, asserting that the seminary has grown in terms of enrollment and the number of students taking credits. The problem however, lies with the density of credits students are taking. LaLuzerne further stated that CAPS/GS had a strong summer with momentum building towards enrollment for spring 2014 with 327 applications and 1344 inquiries. This information does not come as a relief to some, as the university will need to make further cuts to meet its shortfall. Senior Vice-President of Finance and Administration Kathleen Nelson, took the stage to discuss budgetary challenges confronting the university. The fiscal 2013 audit is slated to be finished in early November for publishing publicly. She summarized that there will be a small loss from operations due to the offset of expense management from faculty curtailment. Data presented estimates a $2.1 million shortfall for CAS. Although it's too early to determine, CAPS/GS programs are not expected to see any significant variances. Seminary programs will result in a $1.3 million shortage, particularly from its transitions from quarter to semester classes. The seminary planned for flat net tuitions. 6 • THE CLARION •OCTOBER 3, 2013

“We thought we were looking at it conservatively,” Nelson assessed. “While the total headcount is favorable, the number of credit hours those students are taking has decreased substantially.” The result is a 20 percent net tuition variance. Other factors contributing to concerns include rising healthcare costs. A new healthcare plan starts in January, but administrators are watching the impact of the Affordable Healthcare Act. The resulting budget contingency is $1.8 million. "When I became provost nine months ago this certainly was not what I anticipated I'd be coming to talk with you about, but such is the reality of our community,” Deb Harless stated. Despite the targeted $7 million cuts administrators wish to make deeper cuts in areas segment teams felt were necessary to keep. Faculty will not be receiving an annual salary raise and will be seeing a reduction in retirement benefits for fiscal 2014. “We certainly need to bring back annual raises and we need to increase our retirement measures,” Harless continued. “But we need to find a more sustainable way to go forward with our budget, and thus we began the prioritization process with the goal of identifying and implementing reductions to our overall university budget.” The President’s Cabinet received the prioritization reviews from faculty on Sept. 6 and reviewed them on Sept. 30. Lower than anticipated revenue for the fall will soak up much of the $1.5 million buffer built into the reviews, resulting in further cuts.

“Thinking about our enrollment situation, we budgeted to be down significantly in CAS this year, and we were down more than we anticipated." -President Jay Barnes “I think it's important to note that while the cabinet worked hard with the recommendations from the segment teams, it's also the case the cabinet will move forward with some of its own recommendations.” Bethel intends to notify faculty of cuts on Oct. 15 to help facilitate the transition between jobs. An announcement will be issued regarding the number of positions eliminated and if they were tenured. “Out of respect for the individuals who will be impacted by those, we will not be publishing a list of who those people are,” said Harless. “We want people to be able to share that information as they see fit.” Most generous Voluntary Separation Incentive Payments (VSIP) severance packages in the spring were 50 percent of salary pay. Currently, tenured faculty will receive 49 percent, associate professors up to 41 percent, assistant professors up to 28 percent and instructors about 15 percent salary, based on years of service and rank. Full-time faculty will also receive benefits until severance pay ends. Consequently, performance reviews for staff changes and practices have been delayed until fall 2014. “Thinking about our enrollment situation, we budgeted to be down significantly in CAS this year,

and we were down more than we anticipated," Barnes said. CAS enrollment is down 100 students from last year, 30 more than predicted. Barnes stressed the importance of retention for everyone, not just admissions. Faculty attending the community gathering expressed concerns with consistent errors with the university’s predictive modeling. Bethel will invest in institutional research to combat monetary problems in the future. However, Barnes suggested current enrollment issues are a product of decreased household income. The gathering also covered the purchase of the property of Pine Tree Drive, made possible by the help of an investor and the market rate of the property. The purchase of 2 Pine Tree is supposed to help increase programs in business and economics, natural and health sciences and invest in study abroad and diversity opportunities. Although planned to be backed by investors committed to growth, many remain skeptical. In a time when deeper cuts are being made to already significant progress, students and faculty alike are wondering if this is the right time to acquire more real estate. With administration remaining optimistic for Bethel’s future, some faculty members remain apprehensive with their own fate on campus hanging in the balance.

News Alumni Show to celebrate Royal tradition

n Bethel alumni come together to celebrate Bethel's past, present and future through song and dance S arah B oadwine News Editor

The Royal legacy will be taken to a whole knew level as the characters of John and Val Johnson take on Benson Great Hall to portray a Bethel version of Les Misérables through song and dance. On Saturday Oct. 5, a group of alumni actors will perform the Alumni Show as a part of the Royal Celebration. The show will take place at 7 p.m. and all students, faculty and alumni are encouraged to attend. Alumni from the 1970s, 1980s, 1990s and 2000s will join together to perform the musical parody in order to elaborate on 50 years of Bethel history and culture through the story telling of a cast of 20 performers. According to Chris Nelson, manager of constituent programming, these performers have worked to bring together a rele-

vant story for all Bethel alumni and current students to feature the story of the university’s past, present and future. In Victor Hugo’s masterpiece Les Misérables the main character is Jean Valjean, but the Bethel version will follow two Scandinavian students, John and Val Johnson, through their love story of five decades as students, alumni, faculty and eventually parents of the next generation at Bethel. The show will feature seven principle cast members who are all professional and semi-professional actors. The scriptwriter for the show, Michael Pearce Donley, is known for writing “Triple Espresso,” a television show that has been seen by two million viewers. His wife, Joy Peterson Donley, will join him as the narrator. Nelson stated that this show will have the feel of Welcome Week’s “The Show,” meaning that it will be light hearted and

comical. "The show during Welcome Week is usually about a person coming to college for the first time, it shows some sort of story, and the alumni show will display a story through John and Val Johnson coming back to Bethel for their 50th year reunion.” Nelson said about the performance. According to Joy Donley, students and alumni should expect an epic half-hour parody to the musical Les Misérables. “At the end of the day when you’re going to Bethel, you don’t go to the movies or dance at a ball. It’s forbidden, it’s taboo and you might get expelled if you do. Every R.A. you ever knew is smelling your breath… when you’re going to Bethel.” Joy shared these lyrics that come from the song “At the End of the Day” which will be sung when the actors talk about Bethel in 1963. Joy also mentioned that the process of

writing and rehearsing the show, has been a very enjoyable one for those involved. Joy said that her favorite part of the show so far has been finally being able to hear the alumni singers portray the characters and chorus. “It was very satisfying to watch them laugh as we read through the script for the first time together. It was also very exciting to get alumni from the past five decades together in one room and have them sing the great melodies of Les Misérables together,” Joy said. Along with the show, the Royal Celebration will also honor Bethel’s 2013 Alumnus of the Year, Jay Substad, class of 1988. Substad serves on the Board of Directors of Agua Viva, which is committed to sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ with the people of Honduras.



Monsters University: a review

Evolving in a Monkey Town

n Disney/Pixar sequel's lovable characters

n "Approach this book as a skeptic"

save boring plot

Rachel Wilson

Anna Scholl

for The Clarion

In the past two years, Pixar has begun to see a decline in both the quality and the originality of their films. Cars 2, released in 2011, proved to be only a mediocre sequel created for the sole purpose of toy sales. Last year saw the release of Brave; a deliciously visual film that, unfortunately, was unable to match its lush environment with any compelling narrative or imagination. This summer, Pixar once again decided to return to familiar grounds in the form of Monsters University, to be released on DVD Oct. 29, in the hopes that revisiting a more inventive world would conjure matching inventive ideas. Some of their goals were achieved in the prequel to their earlier achievement Monsters Inc., while others were left lying in the dust, forgotten and vacant. Set in a fictional world of monsters living out ordinary lives in neighborhoods, cities and schools, the plot is centered on the character of Mike Wazowski and his dream to become the top “scarer” at Monsters University: a college for young, determined creatures to study the etiquette of being terrifying. While Mike is considered educationally nimble, his overall appearance receives little attention. In other words, the spherical cyclops possesses no distinguishing features considered to be scary. Opposite of Mike is James Sullivan (Sulley), a slacking, spotted sloth of a monster who packs more roar than the miniature one-eyed beast, but is unable to match the power of his brains to the might of his thundering growl. The two begin to consider each other rivals, and it isn’t long until their hard-headedness becomes an obstacle as they are forced to team up in order to compete in a campus game involving fraternity and sorority houses. Not unlike many animated movies, Monsters University specializes and focuses on its contemporary humor and its detailed animation. Adding the usage of a world and 8 • THE CLARION •OCTOBER 3, 2013

for The Clarion

characters already developed, the film is designed to recapture the audience that fell in love with its predecessor. It contains a warmhearted flow – seen in many of Pixar’s films - that eases the audience into a contentment that brings forth the joy and laughter from the jokes delivered from the wacky gang of beast-like goons. There’s little to be said about whether or not the movie includes an array of humor, but what makes it unique is the context of most of the comedy in that it’s centered on subject matter most understandable to college students or those already graduated from college. Off-beat references to final exams, semester projects, roommates, and everything else involved in the college experience makes for rare material from an animated family film. But it’s the scholastic setting that stimulates an unfamiliar route. Combined with the familiarity of the source material, Monsters University strives to be confident in its individuality but uses the audience’s knowledge of the world to ease them into the story. Picking up from what the original 2001 film had to offer, its 2013 prequel lacks substance in the form of plot. Overdone and stale, the premise of the film feels like the residue of a storyline copy machine spurting out stacks of scripts centered on the same idea: a band of misfits needing to discover the usage of teamwork in order to prove their value. While relevance and the importance of cooperation are preached, it’s a consistent replay of overused tropes seen in countless films prior. The audience knows what’s going to happen in the end as the outcome is the same in every story that has the same simple outline. Leaving little room for imaginative twists, the only thing left to do is to witness a bland scenario seen too often in cinema. Although absent of the inventive narrative of the original, Monsters University is able to bring to balance what it lacks in story substance with its unique setting, its lovable characters, and a plethora of laughs focused so that all age groups may enjoy its abundance of outlandish ideas.

“I’m an evolutionist because I believe that the best way to reclaim the gospel in times of change is not to cling more tightly to our convictions but to hold them with an open hand… I’m an evolutionist because my own story is one of unlikely survival. If it hadn’t been for evolution, I might have lost my faith… I evolved, not into a better creature than those around me but into a better, more adapted me—a me who wasn’t afraid of her own ideas and doubts and intuitions, a me whose faith could survive change” (pp.22-23). Evolution. A term used with undeniable caution in the Western Church—a term scoffed at, prayed away and ultimately shoved under the rug. Term blogger, Christian columnist and author, Rachel Held Evans digs up and discusses in her inspiring memoir, Evolving in Monkey Town. A southern belle with a surprising twist, Evans made her debut in the writing world in 2010 with her memoir, Evolving in Monkey Town. A success from the start, Evans added another book to her collection this last year titled, A Year of Biblical Womanhood. Evans writes from Dayton, Tenn. where she lives with her husband, Dan, who she proudly considers the best part of her life. Second best? Alabama football. There are no children at this time. A Christian couple in their thirties without children. On purpose. Gasp. Amidst her ever-busy life, Evans juggles the roles of a skeptic, writer, author, wife, daughter, follower of Jesus, football fanatic, accidental feminist, and yes, evolutionist, among many others acclaimed titles. Yet Evans doesn’t let her less than ordinary lifestyle stop them from stepping into Christian America with an agenda. Recently featured on The BBC, The Washington Post, NPR, Rachel Held Evans is blazing a trail for all to see, leading Christianity Today to rightfully title her as one of today’s “50 Women to Watch.” Evolving in Monkey Town was titled after the Scopes Monkey Trial of 1925. Taking place in Evan’s hometown of Dayton, Tenn., the Scopes Monkey Trial was a historic legal case in which a high school teacher, John Scopes, was

accused of teaching evolution in a public high school. By doing so, Scopes was said to have violated Tennessee’s Butler Act, an act ensuring creation and only creation was taught in the state’s public school system. Merriam Webster defines evolution as “a process of slow change and development.” While frequently confined to the boundaries of science, Evans takes an entirely fresh approach to the timeworn term—asserting that evolution is a term applicable to all of life—faith, especially. In Evolving in Monkey Town, Evans discusses the correlation between faith and doubt. She encourages readers to ask tough questions by recounting her own personal faith journey— ultimately creating a book that has sent modern day Christian America spinning. Author Karen Spears raves, “Can I tell you how much I admire Rachel Held Evans? She is smart, compassionate, funny, and relentlessly inquisitive. It is the questions she asks, not the answers she uncovers, that make Evolving in Monkey Town such a compelling read.” And I concur. The statement on the front of the book, “How a girl who knew all the answers learned to ask the questions,” captured me from the very start. It felt like me. It felt like my story. Acting as a guide of sorts, Evans took me on a journey through her journey, and the more I read, the more I found myself in it all. And you surely will too. Evans writes, "Doubt is a difficult animal to master because it requires that we learn the difference between doubting God and doubting what we believe about God. The former has the potential to destroy faith; the latter has the power to enrich and refine it. The former is a vice; the latter is a virtue" (p.219). Approach this book as a skeptic. Approach this book with lots of questions. Approach the book with a multitude of doubts. But most of all, approach the book with an open mind and an inquisitive heart, because if you let it, it will change your perspective on what it really means to be a person of faith. No, not a person of a beautified faith, but a person of a vulnerable faith—a real faith—a faith that will change your perspective on the wide scope of God’s powers in this world and in us.



A DV IC E LEX & KEN I continually get asked about my marital status, because of a ring I wear on my left hand. I don't even have a boyfriend. What should I do? LEX SAYS:


Dear Feline Frenzy,

Dear (future) Cat Person,

Co-habitive relationships are like spinning plates. It is important to make expectations clear in order to prevent misunderstandings. No one likes broken dishes. Open lines of communication are of the utmost importance, so that both parties can express their feelings. Bringing a third-party, in this case a cat, into the act is all the more precarious. Rules should have been established and feelings about pets made clear. While you did express to your roommate that you did not want a cat, you failed to tell her that she did not want a cat. You did not establish dominance in the relationship by communicating her feelings to her. This does not bode well for your relationship with the cat. You can expect that the cat will walk all over you, push your hands with its head as you try to accomplish things, and vomit on your belongings. You are destined to become nothing more than a throw pillow for the new cat to sleep on. As for fixing this situation, I used to have a friend who, whenever we were driving somewhere and ran over something on the road would say, “What’s that? Kitten in a cup?”

When it comes to pets, that first cat is, of course, a “gateway” cat, a fact that has been confirmed by multiple studies. Seemingly innocent at first, the unchecked cat owner, in spite of their reassurances, will frequently collect cats in a manner that quickly outpaces their environment. While dog owners tend to collect canines until they reach about 40-50 pounds of dog (1 yellow lab or 2 daschunds + 1 pomeranian), and bird owners tend to stop acquiring them when they reach a standard “flock” size, cat owners will acquire cats in a manner that follows a basic Fibonacci sequence (1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, etc), a progression that is obviously untenable in a standard Bethel University apartment. The bad news for you, is that this effect can occasionally be caught by proximity. A good hard look into your future is in order. Are you ready to face the specter of seeing yourself loading 100# bags of cat food from Costco into your car? If not, perhaps you need to face this problem head on. Also…What are you doing to make your roommate so nervous?

I continually get asked about my marital status, because of a ring I wear on my left hand. I don't even have a boyfriend. What should I do? LEX SAYS: Dear Mistaken Matrimony, This is a common problem that is easily solved. It can be really difficult to get used to wearing jewelry on a different finger, so I would recommend getting married. This will give you a tax advantage. Plus, if you marry someone from another country you can have an intercultural experience (maybe even get a ztag out of it). It would make it much easier to work in that country, or conversely for your spouse to work here. You could even think of this as an opportunity to serve your neighbor. Marry someone who needs a green card. Their lives are simplified in countless ways and people stop bugging you about your marital status. Two birds - one rock, and apparently the rock is already on the correct finger.

The views expressed in the following piece are not to be taken literally. Please interpret them with a grain of salt or perhaps a whole handful.

I have been getting creepy notes in my P.O. from a random guy. He even knows what kind of shampoo I use. What should I do? LEX SAYS: Dear Carelessly Left Open PO Box, Switch Shampoos.

KEN SAYS: Dear (future) Ms. Random, I recently watched Miley Cyrus’ “Wrecking Ball” video. This will be fun I thought tomyself, see what the fuss is about as I looked over the top of my breakfast of Corn Chex with sliced banana coins. Earlier in my life I was a construction worker, so the video brought back some memories, though I recall more hardhats and odd smelling sandwiches and much less dancing. There was one time Eldon ran into a hornet’s nest while working on a ladder. By the time he scrambled to the ground he had his shirt pulled over his head and was trying to slap a hornet in the center of his back with both hands and kick another one out of his boot. Close to dancing as he ever got. Another time George did a little jig after winning a free lunch at a restaurant. He was a former hippie, so he had the moves. A little free form for my taste, but hey. Miley should be given credit for working with tools though, trying to be a role model. George and Eldon would have liked that, we had a lot of discussion about tools. Eldon had a sledgehammer we named “Moe” that we joked about. We used it for the big demolition jobs. Go get Moe, Eldon would say. We need to take out this wall. Looks like a job for Moe. We all thought Moe had retired, but looks like he found a second career in Hollywood. Met Miley. Apparently they hit it off. Which is to say that life is funny. One day you’re knocking down walls in a dusty old house, next thing you know you’re in a video with 127 million hits. Never know where a relationship will take you, but the shampoo thing is a little creepy. Steer clear.

Want Lex and Ken to answer your questions answered? E-mail them to




How Can Students Help?

Keeping Things from Going to Waste M ichael U rch Staff Writer

huge on [waste] taxes.” Some of the recycling can be sold Bethel University has been slowly by Bethel. According to Facilities Manincreasing its sustainability over the agement records, in a four-week periyears, and a new recycling achieve- od at the beginning of this year, Bethel ment is possible. As of last spring, was paid to recycle 11,680 pounds Bethel now accepts all recyclable of corrugated board, cardboard and items numbered 1-7 on the bottom of white paper. All of this is sellable by the cup or bottle. the ton. According to Stephen Porter, man“We are able to break even with the ager of building services, waste has corrugated board process and regular been decreasing and recycling has waste,” said Porter. been increasing over the past few Sodexo works with Facilities Manyears, and this further expands Beth- agement to increase sustainability. el’s ability to recycle. This includes the Royal Garden, contri“When we started doing this, we bution to the corrugated board recywere only doing a few things,” he said. cling, “trayless days” which save water “Over the years as [students] realize and food waste, recycling grease, limthe importance of recycling, it seems iting light and electricity usage and to be growing.” a recycling program that sends food In addition to its environmental waste to farmers. Sodexo is busy imbenefits, recycling has financial ben- proving sustainability on the campus. efits for Bethel. There are large taxes “Be stewards of what you have. for waste collection set as an incentive That’s important,” said Bob Schuchafor recycling, and recycling can help to rdt, Sodexo General Manager, who minimize those taxes. encouraged students to help recycling “The more that [students] recycle, efforts. the less that we are going to be payBethel also has a green council, ing on waste,” said Porter. “We get hit which oversees and educates the

10 • THE CLARION • OCOTBER 3, 2013

Bethel community about sustainability, according to Bob Kistler, committee member. Students could spend a few moments before throwing anything away or recycling anything to ensure that it is being placed in the right container. “There is a lot of recycling that goes out with the trash, and a lot of trash that goes out with the recycling”, said committee chair Jacob Johnson. Most recycling stations are now marked with signs detailing the types of things that can be recycled, and according to Johnson, signs will soon be placed on all recycling areas. With the help of these signs, it should only take a few moments to determine whether or not something can be recycled. “Our main goal is trying to educate the community and help people understand that everybody has a little role to play in helping keep Bethel sustainable…it’s everybody’s responsibility,” Johnson said. Recycling is important for Bethel’s campus, and Bethel is looking to continue to increase its recycling.

A Guide to On-Campus Recycling

Location: Library, across from main desk Location: Floor next to recycling bins · · · ·

Pens, highlighters, markers, mechanical pencils Empty whiteout tape cartridges Inkjet cartridges Old cell phones

Location: Paper Recycling Units (blue tops or otherwise marked) ·

· · · · · · · · ·

Books (not hardcover) Paper cartons, card stock Computer printouts All envelopes Post-it notes File folders Key punch cards Notebooks (with metal spiral) Magazines/glossy paper Other papers

Location: Dorm Recycling Dumpster


Any recyclables 1-7


Cardboard boxes

Location: Can/Bottle Recycling Units (green top or otherwise marked) · · · · ·

Glass/plastic bottles and cans Yogurt cups (no lid) Styrofoam cups Caribou lids Nalgene bottles

Location: Trash Cans · · · ·

Straws Plastic wrap Any plastic lid or container without a recycling number Any container with significant amounts of food

Location: First floor HC by the elevator · ·

CDs/DVDs Batteries

OCTBER 3, 2013 • THE CLARION • 11


Bethel catches "Jungle Fever"

n BSA plans on a homecoming week for the books

L uke W alters

for The Clarion

A month has passed since the start of the school year, and naturally, with classes beginning to bog students down, the student body is in need for something big to help it unwind. Homecoming week has often been described by students as the craziest, most entertaining Bethel event of the year. Because it is such a large event, Homecoming is only possible through the blood, sweat and tears of dedicated student committees. Throughout the years, these committees have built up and improved Homecoming week to the spectacle it is now. Homecoming 2013 consists of the cheer kick-off/tug-ofwar, dodgeball tournament, powderpuff football/guys dance contest, medallion hunt and banner contest. The week ends with the banquet, a 5K run and the Homecoming football game. BSA’s preparation for the week of events involves a large amount of planning and number crunching. Their primary goals are to make the week enjoyable, give it variety and keep it under budget. Here is a glimpse into the numbers that BSA works with in the planning of the Homecoming banquet, as well as some other Homecoming facts.

12 • THE CLARION • OCTOBER 3, 2013

Banquet theme: Royal Jungle. Newest Homecoming event: 5K run. Guys Dance event replaced the “cram the car” event due to student safety when cramming a bunch of students in an old car. Bethel receives the most noise complaints in a night the night of the powder puff/guys dance team.

Homecoming Statistics • 150 tables at the banquet, 10 to a table • 1500 people attend the banquet • 1 of 2 photo ops by BSA in a year • 65 BSA committee members working on Homecoming • 30% toward food and catering • 10% toward renting facilities • 20% toward decorations

• 40% of banquet budget goes toward tables and chairs • Homecoming banquet is 1 of the 3 banquets held during the school year • 1 of 5 dances in the school year • 1 freshman girl will always come in a prom dress • 1 freshman guy will always come in a tux Information from Brianna Hershey

Culture Serving up salads and smiles with Chris O’Neal n Sodexo employee Chris O’Neal discusses what makes Bethel a great workplace

C herie S uonvieri Culture Editor

As students slide their trays along the salad bar during weeknight dinner in the DC, they are greeted with a warm smile from a man who towers above a majority of them—Chris O'Neal. In prior years, O'Neal was found cooking omelets during breakfast, but he made the move to building salads this semester. Regardless of the station he is at, O'Neal said he enjoys his job. Known by most students for his positive attitude and joyful spirit, O'Neal said that he makes an intentional effort to create “a pleasant dining experience” for all who enter. When asked what it is he enjoys about his job, O'Neal replied without hesitation— the students. “I only get ten to fifteen seconds with them at a time…” he said. “It’s my way of touching them.” One student said she ordered an omelet nearly every morning last year, and O'Neal quickly learned her order. “[He] would ask, ‘The usual?’ and it would make me feel so special,” sophomore Ashley Aamot said. “The quality work that he did was really a testament to his character… His omelets were phenomenal and his attitude was even better.” Sophomore Nate Parks noted how O'Neal has an everpresent bounce in his step. “He just seems like he’s always genuinely interested in you, and he’s always so ju-

bilant,” he said. “He’s always ready and happy to serve you.” O'Neal explained that his positive attitude comes primarily from his mother. Growing up, he was the youngest of eight children; he had seven older sisters. “So I had eight mommas, and a lot of knowhow,” he said with a smile. Having grown up in Georgia, O'Neal’s original reason for coming to the Midwest was to play basketball for University of Wisconsin-River Falls. A turn of events landed him in the Twin Cities where he is a father of two children, Jaxon Christopher and Christopher Joseph. When he’s not at work, O'Neal says he turns into an instant dad, though the hours he spends in the DC sometimes conflict with the time he could spend with his children. “I try to get home, say prayers with them, if I can, and have 15 minutes of play time, if mom will allow it,” Chris said with a chuckle. In addition to being a father, O'Neal also describes himself as a sports fanatic, a Steelers fan and a Vikings supporter. O'Neal began working for Sodexo at Bethel three and a half years ago. Working with food runs in the family, he said. Two of his sisters own a catering service and his mother was once a part-time cafeteria worker. Having been around food growing up, working with food seemed natural. According to O'Neal, the leadership in his workplace makes his job even

It's a great place to work. I don't dread coming to work here at all... and I can honestly say that I couldn't say that about any other place. -Chris O'Neal easier. “I have a great staff that I work with,” O'Neal said, specifically mentioning Bob Schuchardt, head manager, and Justin Kaderlik, head chef. O'Neal said another positive aspect of his work experience has been the Bethel and Sodexo family dynamic. “My lady’s mom passed away [three weeks ago], and there’s been an outpouring of support from the staff here and even some of the students,” he said, explaining that they had received gifts of flowers. “It’s a great place to work. I don’t dread coming to work here at all… and I can PHOTOS FOR THE CLARION BY KRISTINE SCHMIDT honestly say that I couldn’t say that about any other place.” Sodexo's gentle giant, Chris O'Neal, smiles as he serves salads to students in the dining center.

OCTOBER 3, 2013 • THE CLARION • 13


"Have you heard from Johannesburg?"

n Alumnus Seth Naicker leads social issues dialogue with students, faculty Sean Miner

for The Clarion

Odds are, you’ve participated in your share of handshakes, fist-bumps, high-fives, hugs and a long list of other intrapersonal gestures. Likely, however, you’ve never been “love-splashed.” Anyone who attended “Have You Heard From Johannesburg?,” a dialogue featuring South African native and Bethel alumnus, Rev. Seth Naicker, experienced a significant amount of love-splashing. It’s a simple gesture, as if the splasher were flicking water from his or her hands and fingers onto the splashee. The gesture is typically better received than splashing with real water. The event with Naicker, which took place after chapel on Monday, Sept. 23, wasn’t all just metaphorical hand gestures. The name of the dialogue is shared with an award-winning film chronicling seven stories from post-Apartheid South Africa, matching well the tone and

14 • THE CLARION • OCTOBER 3, 2013

content of the Bethel event. Naicker engaged with students and faculty, discussing ongoing issues with race relations, both in South Africa and the rest of the world. Relying on his own strong voice rather than a microphone, Naicker challenged the few dozen dialoguers to dive into conversation about racial differences and social inequality. He urged everyone in the room to leave behind feelings of discomfort in order to have meaningful dialogues that would facilitate social change. Naicker’s life, filled with mission work and leadership in the church, serves as an inspiration for doing just that. “Christ can go with me anywhere. I’m not afraid to be in any space,” he told the crowd passionately. He urged the gathering of students and faculty to consider and promote the church as a hospital where the world can find healing, rather than a courtroom to judge followers and non-followers alike.

Naicker encouraged his audience to not only seek to understand “the other,” regardless of whatever difference could designate them as such, but also to love them. Though he hails from a nation that continues to struggle with social inequality, even nearly ten years after the end of Apartheid, Naicker was still insistent that “God calls [him] to love them.” Most attendees of the dialogue walked through the doors already harboring a passion for reconciliation in Christ, and they certainly left with that passion bolstered and challenged. Naicker also spoke in several of Professor Curtiss DeYoung’s classes, including Introduction to Reconciliation Studies and Martin Luther King, Malcolm X and Our Multicultural World. “He’s very engaging,” noted DeYoung, whose history with Naicker goes back to his trips to South Africa in the early 2000s. It was at DeYoung’s suggestion that Naicker attended Bethel in his late twenties, double-majoring in reconciliation studies and biblical and theo-

logical studies before going on to earn a master of arts in organizational communication. Naicker suggested that people, students particularly, “should be running to Bethel,” and then running away from it, into the world to spread God’s love. He also indicated that he “hopes that Bethel will stay true to its core value of reconciliation.” Since finishing school, Naicker has worked with numerous social change organizations, and currently partners with IndiAfrique, which promotes social development in South Africa and beyond. The organization boldly combats social issues, in part by offering training and development in leadership. Naicker’s visit was just one stop on a lengthy visit to the United States, during which he will be speaking at several other venues in New York, California and more. Accompanying Naicker is his wife Merrishia, his six-year-old daughter Mahalia Khanya and his two sons, Sedakiah Joaquin and Taidaeo Keddeh.


Words of wisdom from a


away part 2



nBethel Philosophy professor opens up about his sabbatical, philosophy of

teaching and unashamed eccentricity Rachel Wilson

for The Clarion

“Some of the riskiest behaviors are the funnest ones. Among the riskiest, I count genuine learning.” Spotted in CWC lectures, a multitude of philosophy classes, the AC and various other hot spots amidst the cozy Bethel campus Professor of Philosophy Dan Yim boasts a blonde streak in his hair, trendy clothes and a sense of humor that leaves many stumped. He has remained a bit of an enigma here at Bethel University. Calling Southern California home, Yim began teaching at Bethel in 2006 after a career of professorship at both Pepperdine University and Biola University. Moving from the Los Angeles area which boasts roughly 42,000 people per square mile, Yim thinks of Minneapolis as a great “tiny city,” where he takes pleasure in honk-

ing his horn at individuals who wait more than a second to go at a green stop light. Yim now happily resides in South Minneapolis with his wife. Leaving his mark on students both inside and outside of the classroom, Yim is known at Bethel for making an intentional effort to challenge students on why they believe what they believe. In return, he finds himself continually interrogating his own balance of faith and reason. “I love education,” Yim remarks. “To really engage ideas is risky. You may end up changing your mind.” And that’s the nature of his discipline. Philosophy prides itself of continually investigating things so often taken for granted. His teaching of philosophy is to train students to become disciples of the primary source—to have a genuine, unpoliced encounter with the raw material itself. Instead of guiding students’ thought processes during these

encounters, Yim chooses simply to function as another source for them. “Authority is overrated…” he said. “Students aren’t stupid. They can tell when professors are trying to police their views.” Bringing a bit of balance along with a load of eccentricity, it’s no wonder Yim has been coined a favorite here at BU. Professors around the globe are granted sabbaticals throughout their time teaching, and Bethel professors are no different. The purpose of a sabbatical is for a professor to focus his or her academic energy towards intellectual endeavors that lead to them becoming better equipped teachers, researchers and participants in their field of study. During the Spring 2013 semester, Yim was granted a sabbatical to study the vice and virtue of humanity. He spent roughly four months reading countless documents, articles, and books on philosophy and

social science. With his findings, he constructed four academic works analyzing human morality. For his largest project, Yim wrote a publication centered on the reinterpretation of “evil” in the 10th century philosophy and theology of Feuerbach. “Suppose we give up our belief in a transcendent divine creator. In that context, how do we reinterpret the concepts of good and evil in ways that make sense of our moral language from a purely naturalistic, humanistic point of view,” he explained. Additionally, Yim composed three conference papers. While quite different in nature, all three papers focus on a central theme—the morality of humans, the first of which was presented at the Templeton Foundation Conference on Educating for Intellectual Virtue this past summer. Yet to come, Yim is scheduled to present conference papers at both the International Law, Mo-

rality and Culture conference as well as the Faith, Film and Philosophy conference. When not studying the morality of humanity, Yim spends his time gardening or shopping online at Zappos, a company he praises for its convenience and lack of human interaction. Yim makes regular appearances at local farmers markets, in addition to various music hot-spots around the Twin Cities Metro. He also shamelessly finds himself geeking out over Breaking Bad, The Big Bang Theory and “anything with vampires.” Although Yim is pensive, eccentric, refreshing and a bit mysterious, so much is for certain—if students are looking for a warm, fuzzy professor to coddle them and their beliefs, Yim is the wrong guy. However, if they’re looking for someone to challenge their ideas and stand alongside as they wrestle with some of life’s big questions, they’ve got gold.

OCTOBER 3, 2013 • THE CLARION • 15

Sports Women’s golf team swings for prominence nYoung

team seeks to build program with talent and dedication

J ared N elson Sports Editor

The Bethel women’s golf team is quietly making their bid for the best team you’ve never heard of. A roster loaded with young talent got off to a great start this fall with record setting performances; but the team remains largely unrecognized throughout Bethel’s campus. “They come into the dining center with their team hats, shirts and skirts after a practice or a meet and people always ask if they're on the tennis team,” coach Trent Anderson said. “When they respond with news about golf, the response is usually ‘I didn't even know we had a women’s golf team.’” The Royal golfers began camp a week before classes began and wasted no time in making headlines, defeating Augsburg and Northwestern in their first meet. Bethel was led by a pair of freshmen, as has been the case for much of this season. Abby Perrenoud shot a tournament-best 81 and fellow rookie Leah Swanson finished third with an 83. Anderson couldn’t be happier with the contributions of his newcomers, especially considering that just a few years ago, he had to recruit two students from the golf class just to complete a roster. “Of course the acquisition of four freshmen came with some anticipation,” Anderson said. “But we’ve come such a

long way in this program that was built from scratch, where we have freshmen playing crucial roles for us.” The Royals highlight of the season came on Sept. 7, when the ladies combined to shoot a 327 on the Saturday of the Cobber Open. It was the lowest 18-hole score in team history. This time it was Swanson leading the way with a 79, while four of her teammates provided plenty of help with a score of 85 or better. “Golf at Bethel doesn’t have much of a tradition, but a round like that is something to build off of,” Anderson said. “Its exciting to see what we're capable of with a core of committed golfers.” PHOTO FOR THE CLARION BY KRISTINE SCHMIDT Anderson often refers to the ladies on his team as Coach Trent Anderson and the women's golf team hopes to place in the top five at The MIAC Champion“committed” and “capable” ships at Bunker Hills Golf Club, which is the last tournament of the fall season. because of their dedication to the team and drive to reach a name for [Bethel] women's rent squad is something that golf.” their potential. The excite- golf so we can have a solid is emphasized by the vetThe MIAC Championships ment concerning the future program in the future, even eran players and resonates at Bunker Hills Golf Club in doesn’t just reside with the after we graduate.” throughout the entire pro- Coon Rapids is the only tourcoach, as the players are There’s no doubt that gram. nament remaining in the fall quick to echo Anderson’s Bethel is a program on the “Our unity is something season for Anderson’s team. sentiment. They aren’t just upswing, but Anderson notes we’ve seen tremendous The team feels that if they can concerned with posting low that the rising prominence of growth in and has us excited remain poised mentally, they scores, but they’ve included in women’s golf is a trend oc- about the future,” Anderson have what it takes to place their focus building a program curring in many conference said. “We talk about how somewhere in the top five. that is a consistent contender schools. we're a family and we grow They’ll spend their winter and respected throughout the “The rest of the MIAC is spiritually together and chal- putting on turf and driving MIAC. steadily improving right along lenge one another in that re- into nets in the Robertson “We all want to improve with us, so it’s always a chal- gard.” Center, until spring break as we continue our careers,” lenge,” he said. “We can’t get “The older players are such comes when they’ll travel Perrenoud said. “I think that complacent with where we’re great influences and mentors west to play in a tournament after gaining experience from at right now.” for us freshmen,” Perrenoud hosted by California Lutheran this year, we will be able to be Coaches and players alike said. “They’re willing to hang University. If Anderson’s team really competitive as a team are focused on one thing in out with us outside of the continues to improve, rising and individuals in the coming order to see their potential golf course and we appreciate through the MIAC ranks, they years. We all really want to be pan out into success: unity. that. The girls on this team will not be unrecognizable for a part of the team that makes The togetherness of the cur- are the best part about Bethel long.

16 • THE CLARION • OCTOBER 3, 2013


Running for a reason

nBethel marathon team raises

over $12,000 for World Vision Jared Nelson Sports Editor

On Sunday, Oct. 6, 30 Bethel students will race along the hills of the Mississippi River valley in Minneapolis and St. Paul, sporting bright orange shirts that read, “I run because I care.” These students are running in the Twin Cities Marathon as representatives of Team World Vision, raising money and awareness for communities around the world without access to clean water. “Water is a basic need and a critical aspect of life that we often take for granted,” Michael Jolivette, a sophomore race participant said. “Our primary goal in running the marathon is spreading awareness of how bad the situation is in Africa and around the world.” Jolivette, along with the other runners from Bethel, have committed to run the 26.2 miles as a part of Team World Vision. Although he has some experience in competitive running, Jolivette never thought of running the marathon until a friend approached him last winter. “It was February when my friend Ben Cline asked me if I would be interested in running with him,” Jolivette said. “I never even considered it until he approached me, but as I thought about it, I knew that it

would be much more impactful if I could go through the training and experiences with another person.” The decision to run the marathon wasn’t a difficult one for Jolivette, who has participated in multiple 5K and 10K races along with stints on the track and crosscountry teams in high school. Cline, however, had no experience as a runner and found his motivation in a sort of “bucket list” he drafted in the summer before his freshman year of college. “Some of the goals on that list were pretty far-fetched and some were really easy,” Cline said. “Running in a marathon was near the middle in terms of difficulty.” While Cline knew that a marathon was something he wanted to do at some point in his life, he didn’t know when he would go about pursuing that goal until a chapel service encouraged students to get involved with World Vision. Cline perused World Vision’s website in search of ways to get involved and found himself registered for the Twin Cities Marathon within the week. He admits that he wasn’t completely confident right away. “I called up Michael and to his credit, right away he said he'd do it,” Cline said. “That was really cool and made me feel better about doing it.”


Michael Jolivette and Ben Cline are two of Bethel's Team World Vision members that are running in the Twin Cities Marathon on Sunday, Oct. 6.

Once the registration was complete, Jolivette and Cline had eight months to prepare in two areas: fundraising and training. They didn’t waste time in either department, as they began mailing letters to friends and family asking for donations and cutting down on desserts in exchange for extra portions of fruits and vegetables. “My biggest concern heading into the training was my body–my joints and feet specifically–and whether or not they would hold up through all of the stress,” Cline said. The boys feel very fortunate to have made it as far as they have without any major setbacks. “God has blessed us throughout the training, as neither of us have gotten injured,” Jolivette added. “We've been running on all sorts of terrains and you never know what to expect from conditions like that.”

Their training began with runs as short as a few miles and gradually increased up to runs of 22 miles. Physically, the men say they are in the best shape of their lives and feel as though the long hours they’ve put into training have adequately prepared them for the marathon. Jolivette and Cline each had a goal of raising about $50 per mile, which amounts to a total of $1,300 for Team World Vision from each runner. So far, the Bethel team as a whole has raised over $12,000, and they are hoping to increase their total even more as the race draws nearer with a final push of fundraising. With the marathon less than a week away, the anticipatory period is nearly over and Jolivette and Cline have begun to think about race day. Excitement rules their emotions, as Cline admits that the

nerves have more to do with logistics than the actual running of the race. “There’s 12,000 people running the marathon and an estimated 300,000 watching it,” Cline said. “We'll be up at 3:30 or four in the morning to get on a bus to get to the starting point. There’s a lot that goes into that process and I'm hoping that everything goes smoothly.” Both men are extremely pleased with the training and fundraising up to this point, and they, along with the rest of Bethel’s Team World Vision, are ready for the experience of a lifetime. If you would like to contribute to Bethel's Team World Vision, go to and click on “donate to an athlete or team” under the Fundraise tab, and search for BU.

OCTOBER 3, 2013 • THE CLARION • 17


Take a trip with Bethel football nTeam

bonds off the field to produce chemistry on the field

Tyler Schmidt

"It gives us a chance to bond and grow closer together outside of a mere football connection, which in turn reflects in increased chemistry on the field."

for The Clarion

The Bethel football team is no stranger to being on the road. When asked about how long road trips affect the team, head coach Steve Johnson simply replied, “We love ‘em.” It’s easy to see why Johnson and the rest of team love the road. The Royals have been extremely successful on overnight trips, including their most recent trip to Buena Vista, which resulted in a 47-14 victory. Over the last three regular seasons, the Royals have had paramount success, going 4-0 on drives of three hours or longer. Bethel has been dominant, winning by a combined margin of 113 points in those regular season road games. “We love the road,” Johnson said. “We’ve learned how to be successful through playoff games.” Making the NCAA Division III tournament numerous times has helped the Royals perform well on their longer road trips. According to Johnson, the team has learned to embrace road trips because they are used to traveling in the post-season. “Because we are often a lower seed in the playoffs, we’re forced to travel long distances to play teams,” he said.

-Josh Treimer, senior


The football team enjoys time at King's Pointe Waterpark and Resort in Storm Lake, Iowa before their game against Buena Vista. Bethel defeated the Buena Vista Beavers 47-14 in their first away game.

The Royals have made the post-season two of the last three years and have traveled a total of 2,011 miles for playoff games alone. In those games the Royals are 4-2, an impressive mark considering less than eight percent of Division III football teams even make the post-season. “I get super jacked every time we go on a road trip,” senior cornerback Josh Treimer said. “It gives us a chance to bond and grow closer together outside of a mere football connection, which in turn reflects in increased chemistry

18 • THE CLARION • OCTOBER 3, 2013

on the field.” Both Treimer and Johnson agree that overnight road trips are an advantage for them because of the union it creates on the field. “The only disadvantage is that guys miss class, but teachers are usually understanding about that,” Johnson noted. Treimer mentioned that overnight road trips, although sometimes daunting and long, can be some of the best experiences a football team has. The most recent trip the Royals took to Buena Vista University consisted of a one-night

stay at King’s Pointe Waterpark and Resort in Storm Lake, Iowa. Treimer and the rest of the team wasted no time upon arrival and jumped right in the pool for fun and games at the water park. Much planning and funding goes into coordinating these trips. Johnson said that hotels are booked six months ahead of time to ensure the team has a place to stay for the best rate. Prior to hitting the road, the coaching staff picks up enough Subway sandwiches to feed 150 guys, and then at the halfway point the bus pulls

into a rest stop for their meal. “We just sit outside and eat on the pavement,”Coach Johnson said. “It’s moments like those where we create lasting memories.” Team road trips also have lots of down time. “We give our guys lots of freedom on road trips,” Johnson said. This means that the players are in charge of their own actions, bed time and waking up in the morning. According to Johnson, a mutual respect must be established among players and coaches; it’s the only way a team can function. “The players police themselves; if a younger guy is acting out in a way that he shouldn’t, it’s expected that another teammate will call you out,” Johnson said. The Royals will look to continue their success on the road as they travel to Moorhead, Minn. to face the Concordia University Cobbers on Oct. 12.



our state's collective football woes

J ared N elson Sports Editor

Students are back in school, local orchards are overflowing with apples and questions and concerns abound on the gridiron. It is undoubtedly autumn in Minnesota. It’s still early for both teams, but skeptics and critics have been loud and clear for the Vikings and Gophers football teams in this young season. Let’s catch up a bit. A quarter of the way through the Vikings season and they’re sitting at 1-3, last in the NFC North. Their bye week is next week, so naturally, it’s a good time to assess things and see what we’ve got. Coming into the season, all of the talk was on All-Pro running back Adrian Peterson. Peterson had a year for the ages last season, finishing with 2,097 yards, just eight yards shy of Eric Dickerson’s

all-time single season rushing record. Peterson’s aspirations for a 2,500 yard season have been highly publicized, and although he’s not on pace for that mark, he’s been a reliable and productive option in the backfield thus far, with five touchdowns and just under five yards per carry. The position that has dominated discussions among Viking fans has been the quarterback. Head coach Leslie Frazier insisted that the offseason acquisition of former Kansas City Chief Matt Cassel did not create a quarterback controversy, but a rib injury in week three gave Cassel the start in week four and he led Minnesota to their first victory of the 2013 season. In his three starts, Christian Ponder has a 65.9 quarterback rating with just two touchdowns compared to five interceptions. In his only start, Cassel posted a quarterback rating of 123.4 with

two touchdowns and no turnovers. Before Cassel’s start, Coach Frazier said that Ponder would be the starter when he returns from injury but as the adage states, numbers never lie. Frazier has a decision to make after all. Across the river at TCF Bank stadium, the Gophers are making the majority of their headlines on the sidelines. The health issues of Coach Jerry Kill have overshadowed a 4-1 start by the Gophers. Kill suffers from epilepsy and had a seizure during halftime of their game against Western Illinois, his third documented episode since taking the job in 2011. While the general consensus is that Kill is capable of running a successful college football program, some people are calling for his resignation or action by the athletic department. On the field, the Gophers have been led by a pair of

young quarterbacks with a lot to prove: Philip Nelson and Mitch Leidner. Leidner and Nelson each give the Gophers reliability through the air to go along with a threat on the ground, but there remains one problem. The opponents in the Gophers’ first five games have been as tasteless as weakly brewed tea. Their lone BCS competitor came in the form of the Iowa Hawkeyes, who handled the Gophers in the Twin Cities, defeating them by a final score of 23-7. Minnesota will seek their first Big Ten win next week in Ann Arbor, as they take on the 19th ranked Michigan Wolverines. Certainly the Vikings and Gophers are not eliminated from relevancy, but both teams are far from being legitimate title contenders. Question marks have been the theme on Minnesota gridirons thus far. For many football

"As a lifelong fan of the Gophers and Vikings I have always longed for a championship to celebrate, but these teams never deliver." -Aden Casey, sophomore fans, frustrations are rising as they search for a winning team to follow. Aden Casey is a sophomore at Bethel and he has had enough. “As a lifelong fan of the Gophers and Vikings I have always longed for a championship to celebrate, but these teams never deliver,” Casey said. “In my search for a champion from my home state, I have discovered the Lynx of the WNBA. With all their recent winning, it has become clear to me; this is their state. Viva Los Lynx!”

OCTOBER 3, 2013 • THE CLARION • 19

The Clarionion - Bethel's own slice of "The Onion"

Bethel couples unaware of dangerous cuddling nStudents at risk when cuddling in BC chairs, study reports Olive Slawths

Of The Clarionion

Senior nursing students at Bethel have been spending the past four years researching different furniture on campus and the health of the students who sit in it. In a surprising turn of events, the research has concluded that when two bodies share one of the single-person leather chairs in the Brushaber Commons, they are significantly more prone to illness. What

makes these chairs so famously comfortable is exactly what makes them determinantal to the health of the couples that often inhabit them. The crisp leather that tempts students to slide into an almost entirely horizontal sleeping position, also happens to radiate any body heat right back to the student. The chair’s ingenious combination of memory foam and plush cotton stuffing envelopes each sitter in a cloud-like, stressrelieving hug. But that very cush-

ioning also holds on to the body heat of sitters past. 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit is the average human body temperature. Having your own body heat radiate back at you, plus a few extra degrees from the body heat of others, poses no health threat whatsoever. Adding that extra 98.6 degrees into the mix is when things get dicey. With two bodies in one chair, the temperature increases so slowly that you hardly notice it. Without even realizing it, these two people have

successfully poached themselves to a perfect 197.2 degrees. Not to mentioned they’re heating up the protein structures of the Sternocleidoimastoid. And we all know how dangerous that can be. While the fabric, two-person “chastity” couches have been discounted completely by students as a lounging possibility, they might be worth reconsidering. Our journalists tracked down the original maker of these fabric couches and asked him to com-

ment on this story. “These couches were constructed with the health of the student in mind, not the comfort,” said Carlson Thomas, CEO of DormBasics Furniture and Bethel alum (class of ‘79). “They may not realize it now but they’ll thank us later when they’re recovering from heat stroke.” Never fear, the BC chairs will continue to be around for years to come, but we can only hope that now less couples will be risking their lives just to share one.

Navigating the Monson Dining Center

nA guide for new students on how to survive the decisions you face when entering the DC C hao D own

Of The Clarionion

On my first day eating lunch in Monson, there were no limits to my excitement. Every type of food I could possibly want was waiting for me past the registers. You can imagine my disappointment when I discovered the pitiful size of the trays. But since then, I’ve been experimenting and have finally discovered the secret to getting as much food as possible. First, go to the pizza line and grab four slices of pizza. The kind is entirely up to you, although I would recommend it have as many toppings as possible. Next, go to the pasta station. Order your favorite kind of pasta and patiently wait for it to be made. Then after they hand you the pasta, dump it on top of two of the pieces of pizza, then cover it with the remaining pieces. This is the best combination possible because

both pizza and pasta are Italian food, so they must work well together, creating this magnificent pizza pasta sandwich. Your next stop is the actual sandwich station. Order a sandwich like you usually would, but right before they finish assembling it, give them the spectacular masterpiece of a sandwich you yourself just made. Have them use that sandwich as one of the components in this bigger sandwich to make Sandwichception: the ultimate sandwich. Armed with the first component of your spectacular meal, move on to the Chinese food so you can multiculturally pig out. Get your usual Chinese food, but if you’re getting stir-fry, make sure you get rice instead of noodles. This will be very important in the next step. You should also grab at least three pairs of chopsticks. Next head to the Taqueria. Here, order a burrito with all of

20 • THE CLARION • OCTOBER 03, 2013

the fillings your heart desires. When they hand it back to you, smile and thank them. Now scurry out of sight to shove your Chinese food inside of a burrito. The only reason to do this without others watching is that it expedites the process. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck explaining to everyone what you have against your stomach. Those peons could never understand the glorious revolution taking place. On your way out, grab an extra burrito shell. That’ll come in handy later. Now onto the time-honored classic of a burger and fries. Get your burger and saddle it with all of the condiments your heart desires, but set aside the french fries. Those shouldn’t come into contact with another food for two more steps. The next step is to make two waffles. After making them, have them each resting on a different plate. Lather the first waffle in

syrup and apply whipped cream and strawberries to the second. Put your burger on top of the syrup waffle, then place the second waffle on top of it. Take two pairs of chopsticks and use each one to spear through the layers of the waffleburger, effectively connecting each section for later ease of eating. It is now safe to move the waffleburger onto your tray. Then, take a trip to the salad bar. You have to make up for all of the fatty food you just grabbed and that means eating healthy. The perfect spot for your mandatory greens is on top of your French Fries; they both create a larger dish out of the shredded remains of something that used to be in the ground. Now that you have the healthy food, we have to do what we can to make it still edible. The school has thoughtfully provided an entire array of toppings for this purpose. Start by topping it with hard-boiled eggs,

then add cheese, croutons and as much salad dressing as you can. The truly experienced Monsongoer will then proceed to wrap this culinary masterpiece in the burrito shell obtained from the Taqueria. You’ve done well to make it this far. This is your final step. Take your collection of culinary masterpieces over to the soft-serve machine and cover everything in chocolate ice cream. When I say cover, I mean cover. I shouldn’t be able to see any of your food or the tray underneath the layer of ice cream. Now bring your tray to a table and ready the third pair of chopsticks you grabbed. Expertly use them to rummage through the ice cream in order to find and eat your meal. I hope my guide works well for you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m late for my eighth coronary bypass surgery.

Bethel Clarion - 10/03/13  
Bethel Clarion - 10/03/13  

Learn more about about on-campus recycling, Hispanic heritage month, Sodexo worker Chris O'Neal, football road trips and more!