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Sex and Your Future


WAR AGAINST SEX TRAPS It assuredly is evident by now that sex was designed neither as something evil, filthy, and degrading – nor, on the other hand, to be used in premarital, extramarital…or other manner of perversion. Sex did not aimlessly evolve without purpose; it was designed by the creator, and is to be held in sacred and holy honour. It was created for man’s GOOD, not his destruction.

Page | 2 Purpose Reminder Publications PURPOSE REMINDER MINISTRY

…Touching Lives…Changing Destinies

Sex and Your Future

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Sex and Your Future

TABLE OF CONTENTS  The Purpose of War Against Sex Traps


 You Are Peculiar

 God designed Sex

 The Missing Dimension in Sex

 The Purpose and Channels of Sex Traps

 Why Youths Fall into Sex Traps

 Dangers of Sex Traps

 Overcoming Sex Traps

 Passing to others the Values of Sexual purity

 Until My Wedding Night Pledge

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Sex and Your Future

The Purpose of Youth against Sex Traps

Dear friend,

I thank God for your life and the privilege to be part of your destiny fulfillment among over thirty million young people in Nigeria. Let me give my reasons. Life is in phases, and youthful age is a crucial period in the life of individual. There are three stages everyone must go through in life. The first thirty years is the morning period which is the learning stage. From thirty to fifty years is the afternoon, representing the earning stage, and the third is from fifty downward called the evening period, this is known as yearning stage of everyone. But what is done at the learning stage determines how the yearning stage will be, whether pleasant or painful. That is why Solomon advised in Eccl 12:1 (Living Bible),

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Sex and Your Future  Do not let the excitement of being young cause you to forget about your Creator. Honour Him in your youth before the evil years come – when you will no longer enjoy living.

The evil years are moments when you will not be left with anything needed to be productive including your strength, except with past experiences, memories of both your learning and earning stage of life. I like to remind you some truths you must understand about yourself. First, you are the future of your family, church, society, nation, and the entire world at large. Without you there is no future. Second, you are the stability of these things because of your God-given strength. Third, you are the beauty of the earth because of your untapped fresh potentials. Your youthfulness adds colour to everything about life. Fourth, you are the success of tomorrow because you are a potential Successor. Fifth, you are the salt of the earth, joy of tomorrow. Lastly, you are the seed of today, the harvest of tomorrow. So you are the future of everything you represents - family, church, society, you are the hope and survival of their tomorrow. Who You Are…  You are the Future:

Hope of Tomorrow

 You are the Strength: Stability of Tomorrow  You are the Potential: Beauty of Tomorrow  You are the Successor: Success of Tomorrow  You are the Salt:

Joy of Tomorrow

 You are the Seed:

Harvest of Tomorrow

But there is a challenge in our society today affecting the lives of young people, reducing drastically the dignity and honour of youthful age. The introduction of new morality concept and permissive type of life style everywhere has given the devil a manipulative power over the youths. As a result of this, larger Page | 6 Purpose Reminder Publications

Sex and Your Future percentage of the youths in the church, campuses, schools, and society at large are living below the standard of God for their lives. Many are lost in transit of illicit relationships, abortion, masturbation, drug abuse, peer pressure, and different types of sex traps. Many are going through silent pains they cannot discuss with anybody due to the consequence of sex traps. Some have lost their sense of Christian values as they are dancing to the “anything goes” values of our present society. Some who are active in the church hides under pretence while they engage in unthinkable acts outside the walls of the church. Youthful age of so many has been despised through ignorance and negligence.  Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity. { 1Timothy 4:12} You are expected to model these things above in your life – a godly example in word, conduct (private and public), love, spirit, faith and purity. The glory of your future is beyond description and you cannot afford to sacrifice it on the altar of sex traps. The world is waiting for your manifestation, the outburst of precious talents and gifts deposited inside you are incomparable. You are unique without any duplicate. You are an embodiment of the solutions the world has been longing for, and I know you will surely fulfill your God-given destiny on earth. I am glad to identify with you in this world of survival of the fittest. We have been made fit by the redemption of our lives through Christ Jesus and through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. I know we shall prevail over the challenges of youthful age. We shall come out refined and shining. Ignorance is the number one greatest enemy of mankind {Hosea 4:6}; therefore, this training has been packaged to show you how to resist sex traps. You will also be empowered to help others around you who might be the victims of sex traps. My desire is to equip and present you immune to the endemic of immoralities of this age both in thought and actions, also to see you living a purposeful life to the fullness in God. I am humbled and honoured to join you in this endeavour. I trust God to use you for His glory in your family, church, society, and the nation. Page | 7 Purpose Reminder Publications

Sex and Your Future I hereby encourage you to value this material and make the best use of it. Your maximized life is my vision. May God Bless You as You Grow in His Purpose. Benjamin Suulola The PRM Team

MODULE #1 YOU ARE PECULIAR {Understand and Appreciate Your Uniqueness} But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, and His special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. {1Peter 2:9} Highlights of Module one Understanding your uniqueness The workmanship of God The thinking God The arrow The glorious future Appreciating your uniqueness Discovering your purpose Page | 8 Purpose Reminder Publications

Sex and Your Future Maximizing your purpose YOUTH EXPLOSION The statistics revealed that between 1991 and 2006, the youth population in Nigeria has grown from 22.5 million to over 30 million. Young people currently comprise over 25% of the Nigerian population. 31.4% of the total population is children below the age of 18 comprise more than half of the population. In totality, there are more young people in Nigeria than ever before. Understanding your uniqueness is crucial to your fulfillment in life. You are uniquely created among the millions. God did not make a mistake in creating you to be who you are. You are created in the image of God {Gen 1:26-27}, and this make you unique among other creations on the earth. Even among other human beings like you, there is no second you. God made you in a special way, with a touch of uniqueness in your beauty, intellect, talents, and abilities. You are peculiar to God among others. He has specially chosen you as a treasure to Him. He wants you to be a carrier of His glory and splendor. He made you to be different among others. God want your life to be above reproach, and desires that your life bring praises to Him at all times. WONDERFULLY AND FEARFULLY MADE The workmanship of God in creating you is marvelous. Your destiny was carefully planned by God before He made you. He designed you to be a male or female with the intention of bringing out the best in you. God had something special in mind for making you who you are. This is why you are a creature of wonders, amazement, and dignity {Psalms 139:13-16}. GOD THINKS ABOUT YOU CONSTANTLY You are so precious to God that He thinks about you often. David once said, “How precious it is, Lord, to realize that you are thinking about me constantly! I Page | 9 Purpose Reminder Publications

Sex and Your Future don’t even count how many times a day your thoughts turn towards me. And when I waken in the morning, you are still thinking of me.”Psalms 139:17-18 YOU ARE GOD’S ARROW “Like the arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; they shall not be ashamed; but shall speak with their enemies at the gate.” You are a defense to your parents, the church, and the nation object of pride and glory.


YOUR FUTURE IS GLORIOUS “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope {Jeremiah 29:11 Living Bible}. God has the best plan for your future. YOU MUST APPRECIATE YOUR UNIQUENESS You can only maximize your uniqueness if you appreciate it. I thank God for making me the way I am. And you should also appreciate Him for making you to be unique. One of the unpleasant situations and causes of immoralities in our time boils down to our dissatisfaction to accept who God made us. We want to behave, talk, walk, dress like others. Many youths have ruined their lives just like Dinah, the only daughter of Jacob in Genesis 34:1-31. She decided to see the daughters of their city – the so called big girls in town. The problem is that, Dinah was not satisfied being herself. She wanted to feel belong among big girls. This single decision cost Dinah her virginity, dignity and her destiny. We never heard anything about Dinah afterwards. She lost her destiny on the platter of choice to be like others. I once visited a university sometime. My discovery was the way almost every student dressed. The female students were not permitted to put on trousers, but to my amazements, almost all of them were on tight and short skirts. While most of the male students were on trousers which they must first sit down before it can be removed. My concern that day was not actually what they wore, but the fact Page | 10 Purpose Reminder Publications

Sex and Your Future that you can hardly pick few among them who refused to dress like others. Almost everybody follows the dress code whether fat or lean, fitting or not. The point is that you must appreciate your uniqueness. If you must stand out among others, you must be different. Exceptional people always have a unique identity among others. They are secured and satisfied to remain the original they were created to be. Let me say here, except you are ready to be different amongst others in this generation – it may be hard for you to remain unpolluted with the immorality that has become order of the day. YOU ARE CREATED FOR A PURPOSE There is a special reason why you exist. God designed you to perform specific tasks, to be in a specific place, marry a specific person, and accomplish a specific purpose. You are created in God’s purpose, with God’s purpose and for God’s purpose. Your life does not belong to you. It was a gift from God to accomplish His purpose on earth. The understanding of this will make you to see life as an entrustment that must be later accounted for. Something beyond your control will begin to drive you from within. You will begin to have better perspective about life which is beyond pleasure and enjoyment. It will make you never to be satisfied with mediocrity and meaningless living. It will spur you into quest and curiosity to bring out the best God deposited into you. This will make you to be passionate to discover that purpose and to make something meaningful out of your life to the glory of God. Life is interesting when you discover your purpose. DISCOVER YOUR PURPOSE Discovery of your purpose is the first step towards fulfilling your destiny. Until you discover your purpose, you cannot understand your life. Your purpose is your identity, and your identity can only be found in your creator. Someone once said, “The only way to discover you is to work closely with God, commune with Him, immerse yourself in His word, the Bible, enough so that you begin to see things as God sees them. Then, regularly spend some time each day reflecting on the things you did and the things you learned during the day. View them not from the standpoint of your own selfish interests, but see them from God’s view point. Gradually a pattern will emerge letting you discover yourself.” Page | 11 Purpose Reminder Publications

Sex and Your Future One thing is certain. You will continue to discover the original you as long as you live. But this can only be possible through your close walk with God. The key is: the more you know God, the more you know yourself – who you are and what you are capable of doing. And the more you obey God in your walk with Him, the more productive, effective, fruitful, and successful and fulfilling your life will be. MAXIMIZE YOUR PURPOSE You exist to represent God on earth and bring glory to Him through your life. It has been said that average human beings use only 10% of their potential in a life time. That sound ridiculous, isn’t it? This means there are unique potentials and untapped treasures lying dormant within you. You must maximize your purpose to the fullness. You are a shining star!

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Sex and Your Future

MODULE #2 GOD DESIGNED SEX {Understand and appreciate the origin of sex} “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth...And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness...So God created man in His own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth...And God saw everything that He had made, and, behold, it was VERY GOOD.” {Gen. 1:1, 26, 27-28, 31} Highlights of Module #2 Sex – God’s Idea Sex is very good Three P’s of Sex How sex became shameful

SEX - GOD’S IDEA Sex is the concept of God. He designed sex from the beginning. It was His idea to accomplish the purpose of creation. There is nothing bad in everything God made including sex. It serves as a powerful and emotional bonding experience initiated to uphold marriage. It was designed for righteous uses. Page | 13 Purpose Reminder Publications

Sex and Your Future

SEX IS VERY GOOD Contrary to the notion most people about it. Sex is not meant for destruction of man but for his benefits. Sex is not shameful, it is honourable. God himself pronounced sex as “VERY GOOD {verse 31}. Then, he gave the first man and his wife instruction regarding his intended purposes and uses of sex – Gen 2:24-25. THREE P’S OF SEX? There are three right purposes of sex.  It was designed for Procreation – “And God blessed {Adam and Eve}; and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth’” {Gen 1:28}.  It was designed for Pleasure – “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; be exhilarated always with her love” {Proverbs 5:18, 19}.  It was designed for Protection – “But because of immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and also the wife to the husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control”{1Corinthians 7:2-5}. “God designed sex for use only between a husband and wife who has been joined in holy bind them together in a loving relationship unshared with any other. The very privacy of this relationship make it sacred, makes husband and wife dear to each other in a special way never shared with another in adultery. This entire loving, sacred, precious, relationship is greatly impaired or destroyed when shared with any other. That is why fornication and adultery are so harmful to their participants and therefore CAPITAL SINS”

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Sex and Your Future HOW SEX BECAME SHAMEFUL The concept that sex is shameful and evil emanated from Satan. It has always been his intention to despise God’s revelation and discredit His teaching to hurt man-kind. Henceforth, sex outside the instruction and prescriptions laid down by God has become shameful until this day. Every use of sex outside its purposes in marriage is a shameful act. Read Genesis 3:1-11. Nevertheless, as long as sex is used in the confined of Creator intended purposes, it is not shameful.

MODULE #3 THE MISSING DIMENSIONS IN SEX {Understand the effects of Ignorance and Foolishness affecting Youths} Page | 15 Purpose Reminder Publications

Sex and Your Future My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge...Because you have forgotten the law of your God; I also will forget your children {Hosea 4:6}. Six thousand years of human misery, unhappiness and evils ought to provide sufficient PROOF for those willing to see, that humanity, starting with our first parents, rejected the most vital dimension – Herbert .W. Armstrong INSTRUCTION MANUAL FROM THE MANUFACTURER When you purchase mechanical and electrical appliances, the manufacturers must package an instruction manual with their product. What is the purpose of instruction manual? It analyses all the functions of the product, helps you understand how the manufacturers intends the use of all the functions, and gives you guidelines on how to enjoy and make optimum use of the product. It will also serve as safety precautions for you and elongate the life span of the product. These means without operation manual, you will be ignorant of manufacturer intention for the product. Second, you will only resolve to try and error application which may be dangerous for you and health of the product. Third, without adequate knowledge of a product, you can never maximize its functions. You can also think of other effects of not having the instruction manual with a new product. Now, what about when you have the instruction manual but decide to still use the product without consulting it? Sure! You will have the same experience with the person without the instruction manual. In this case, two of you will have the same experience, while in the real sense, you are having different problems. These two problems are the missing dimension in sex which we shall discuss later in this module. The two problems are Ignorance and Foolishness. IN THE BEGINNING WERE MYSTERIES The greatest need of man is what he does not know. Since the beginning of creation until now, there are mysteries man cannot understand about the works of God. The Scientist, Historians, Philosophers have been thinking, researching on the mystery of origins – how the earth came to be, when it came, and how old it is. All their efforts over time have produced nothing but confusions everywhere. They Page | 16 Purpose Reminder Publications

Sex and Your Future themselves are confused as they only came up with theories, guesses, and hypothesis without any proof. No matter how educated, human nature can never understand the mysteries of the works of God. It can only produce more disaster, war, perverseness, and confusion we are experiencing today. Read Romans 1:19-32. IN THE BEGINNING WAS REVELATION God did not create man in darkness. You understand the first thing God made before proceeding to make any other thing on earth including man was light {Gen 1:3}. He hates darkness because Himself is light {1John 1:5} and He knows man can not survive without light. Then, God created man in light both in the spiritual and physical. Man was created with the knowledge of his creator. He understands, enjoys, and appreciates God without the awareness of himself. He was opened to God and operates in the confine of the basic instruction given to him. Man was given the foundation of all knowledge. THE ORIGIN OF ERROR Error came into the world when man rejected knowledge and allowed the lust of the eyes, flesh, and pride of life to determine his obedience to the Creator. They used human reasoning outside the given instruction to choose between right and wrong. They ignored the instruction of their Creator completely and thereby fell into a serious error that will cause life time confusion. INSTRUCTION MANUAL FOR SEX God is ever merciful. He still further gave instructions to man in a written form. The best instruction manual that has been written for sex use today is not with the media, neither Hollywood nor Nollywood movies. It is not in any book written except the Bible. The manual covers every aspect of human life including the “know how of sex.� It is only in it the best foundation of all knowledge is given, unfortunately it is the less used Book today. As I said earlier, failure to use instruction manual will result to the same experience for two people with their two different problems. The two missing dimension in sex today is ignorance and disobedience which is the major disaster of sex traps among youths today. Lets discuss the two briefly. Page | 17 Purpose Reminder Publications

Sex and Your Future

LACK OF RIGHT KNOWLEDGE When I was growing as a boy, we used to have family devotion between 99:30pm every night. To ensure discipline and optimum benefits we agreed to establish a rule that anyone who slept off during the devotion must be left alone in the sitting room. Not only that, the light will be off and the exit door will be blocked with chairs. Then, whenever I slept off and woke up midnight everywhere was already dark and I would begin to search for the door. I would be confused, staggering, and stumbling trying to locate the exit. Most times after futile efforts to found my way out or get to where the light switch is located, I would remain there till the following morning. But it was always a painful experience indeed. This is the real symbol of ignorance. When you are trapped in darkness and there is no light to show the way – confusion will become inevitable. Lack of knowledge is ignorance and ignorance simply means darkness. And the opposite of darkness is light which also means knowledge. The problem of many youths today is not devil but ignorance. A lot of youths have been sold into a journey of no return through ignorance. They lack the right knowledge about sex. Nobody was there to make them recognize sex traps so they became victims. Most sources they trusted to educate them on the issue of sex are wrong agents that are also full of darkness as regards the proper use of sex. Some of these sources are deliberately misleading the youths to promote their own business, organizations and to make money. The Scripture says in Proverbs 1:17 that, when a bird sees a trap being set, it stays away. But many youths were never taught to recognize these traps so that they can stay away. What a pity! There were no parents to impart knowledge through the instruction manual into them. They grew up to the corrosive teachings of their society – the media, ungodly sex educationist, peer group and different vices that poisoned their minds. Lack of proper knowledge about sex is the major factor affecting youths today. Those who engage in these teachings have wrong values and standards. They teach from human reasoning. They encourage the use of condoms and Page | 18 Purpose Reminder Publications

Sex and Your Future contraceptives, and they drag the destinies of these youths into early graves and life time of sorrow and emotional torment. The youths today needs right knowledge impartation in order to escape sex traps. There is no better place to teach this than at homes.

WILLFUL DISOBEDIENCE Yes, they knew about Him all right, but they wouldn’t admit it or worship Him or even thank Him for all His daily care. And after a while they began to think up silly ideas of what God was like and what He wanted them to do. The result was that their foolish minds became dark and confused. Claiming themselves to be wise without God; they became utter fools instead. Romans 1:21-22. There is a saying here in Nigeria that, the dog that will get lost will not pay attention to the whistle of the hunter. This is also the situation of many youths today. They are open to the right knowledge about sex, but they are not ready to apply it, therefore, they begin to suffer the consequence of foolishness. There is a difference between ignorance and foolishness but the two suffer the same consequence. Ignorance is to lack knowledge but foolishness is to disdain knowledge. That is why foolishness is the opposite of wisdom which simply means correct application of knowledge. Another missing dimension in sex today is obedience to right knowledge. There is foolishness everywhere because of youths who have knowledge but chose not to apply it. They have the instruction manual but they will never operate according to the instructions. This is the major challenge of our time – which is Foolishness – rejection of knowledge. The two missing dimensions in sex calls for serious consideration, and any youth who wants to enjoy a pleasant future without pains and regrets must have these two factors. Without proper knowledge about sex and correct application of it, youths will keep falling into the sex traps.

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Sex and Your Future

MODULE #4 CHANNELS OF SEX TRAPS {Understand different baits of Sex Traps} When you go to the stream to catch fish, you must understand the power of bait. As you put the hook inside the water, you will also put something the fishes like to eat at the mouth of the hook. Then, once the fishes smell the bait, they will run to eat not knowing the hook is tied to the bait. The same way sex traps comes with baits to draw the victims and later ensnare them. Let us now consider frequent baits of sex traps affecting youths today. IMPURE THOUGHTS

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Sex and Your Future

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Sex and Your Future  

Avoiding a Life time Trap