Academic Essay
blatantly racist,” and that “I shouldn’t blame the person that was racist towards me,” because they did it “unintentionally,” or that “society is to blame for their ignorance.” We’re not arguing about a particular policy towards counteracting racism. We’re not talking about the language surrounding the debate - on the merits of the word ‘opportunity’ instead of ‘inequality’, or ‘bad choices’ versus ‘environment’ when talking about the Indigenous cycle of poverty. Instead, somehow, we are disputing whether or not a big enough problem exists. Moreover, this is a tête-à-têtes operating within the paradigm of personal experience – in essence, we are just talking about just me. Questioning this would mean discounting my story’s validity and therefore my integrity, something that their entitlement certainly allows them to flippantly do. It’s as clear to me as black and white, and the irony is not lost upon me that for once in their lives, people can see the grey. Casual racism is made nastier by its subtlety. Each act is relatively innocuous on its own, but collectively it is a lifetime of feeling inferior and being unable to pinpoint a key instant as to why. It’s the categorical stripping of my childhood potential to dream of any and all possibilities. They can’t expect my self-esteem to have grown healthily when the girls at my private grammar school did not expect me to be anything less than timid and studious, bowing my head, subservient. I got teased whenever I tried to fit in: “are you wearing makeup?” I admit I cultivated an enormous chip on my shoulder – the drive to prove I was as good as them burnt bright. I topped English frequently throughout high school. My mother often - 48 -