Page 1

1$E B O X2 2 1 1 3




s.F. cA 94122 Happy New Year !

the U.S. on the waf7, who's the Biggest Brother of them a77? It's nirror Mirror, & Luddite l4agna Carta that certifies us the Betanax Decisiorlt Suprene Court for giving over our governnent. stranglehofd the techno-peasant Consumer ETectronic by the Anerican-Japanese fronted none\,-novers, l|ufti-national progran at of the Big Bench that copying a teTevision convinced a najority industry the Therefore, copving, it was sonething caTl,ed time-shifting. hone wasn't reaflv to any copying. that supplied such devices was not liabTe for contributing industry Make sense? of conned-suners with Of course it does if voutre part of the copy-nad generation - uI nentaTity The duped-pTacating access to Xerox, audio and video dubbing devices. nay not know nuch about art, but I know what I own," is no accidentv i.s re-slicing the baloney for a sinpTe reason. The deveTopment of internationaf ","S " on J if on the baiace of power - particuTarTy could have a devastating effect nega-art-hits Could ceTebrity status. with internationaT a star used massive wealth in conbination anv Republican feef safe if Prince was as weaTthy as Bob Hope? and set a in the nid-seventies recognized this possibiTity cartels InternationaL "Buying Out the Biz: (Part One was discussed in A&R ish 3l pTan into notion two-part Aftereffects


the Conefon Bonb.").

Continued on Page 3

FF,OMth6 Editor IF CHAKA KHAN THEN RON WOOD- We sure hit the naiT on the head when we predicted nore groups with verbs in their nane - Frankie Goes to Ho77ywod, Run D.M.C. and Letls prove the point. Active [sic] But the big surprise may junp on the bandwagon. Sone cone when estabLished artists runored changes - Joan Jetts and John Waits. Thanks for a great year! Wetre pTeased with growth in'84 but our recent readership survey showed a drop in women readers. We need nore wonen readers if we are to continue our fight against the bio-nedia conspiracy (see ish B, 'tPanty Liners and'ALL )ver' Body Sprays: PersonaT Hygiene or Existential Crisis"). Look for nore fem-X-poses and (in the works, "Tova Borgnine's Potion: Does Ernie Rea11y use it?"). profiTes Postscript on our recent essay ttThe Cartooning of America" - the Justice Dept. refuses 'My tCare to deny runors that niflions of Hasbro's LittTe Pony' and American Greetingst Bears' are being distributed in the Far East at cut-rate prices. The motive behind the "character dunpingn - to force Japanese cartoon carteTs to Tower Ticensed character quotas. Two thousand years of civiLization and wetre stiTf stuck somewhere between a baboon and a nachine. Baby Fae and Bifl Schroder said it in'84. Bve Bve Orwelj. - ed" Ti77 next'ish


lett .'l,le*tkrts



eXZ. . 9= w4n+ a *ornue

B"bV' nextJ@r, + r wdnttfrafq*her q v'6r,k'slcc *o ba Abo$whcn shald,.I bccorna or€qhont in onden{o.lliu to *irrrc-out nLlrt ?

htsi cooad tru pkase telf naulrea thc-Lsters of Aercy \NIl bein nr.1*ourn? Bov ToV

Stay afN€in


Don;+dninK An{ driuc-.

irtt..'c,+T , CA

q\toilo6lc'q* prtss *,'",". NoAercl 4o.r^&t s rNrercfoucucd {utr"< igsucsr;rtl Krepyou (tr.ristc.d) 5'tstcr: {an: updat"/. Tlra A+f,. R+"'f ca^'+ ahiwtr {our 6rgt oursfrdr "ln.e' ure-dol'* hasea me/;ical'profr ssiinal on s-tr# TerhapsDn f{uaflerin New%.k couldoduist, .roo. C-ooKrt.A'


phn *o [a'n tha ts^yA'q

enl of'[cccmbcc

reot\ speciclIt


Coold1ou 3"6grst siltclling

n lo d; ?

Scoti Hollond Swcrth w.orc.tPfr \Nf.f r.dh"'6]. Yo'. can Pnc-?:11 ;th 5q; on'+hez7+h rn cupedfihoiogelready {t fum't llonsler Ncw 'tear3 Ftt Jq- in Fnrscci on *he_ Ztst 5urv1 jaF!!


o o o

@ I cn^ ^ re.kwrrfcr, + wondcr.d if th. A+R Rcp"f ocaqpfs unsotdrted nqtcrial.

Kid Konq Aacot*br-J-ll

Ri"r, Johnsonrcall ldr" mo]lren

Sleee*s o€ Fi.e- - StrceTs rro-whefc..


CaqeJ \fomr}



-f+" liay,r)'For viewev: irto iui ; t;ali on I dearad e*i oa.

? €vro- d',sl'.,li ru t lr

J Is * tn - +tatAlan \lcga*ltes a so^s calfc"d t[lrr3 qq9 on ftie I Suneo;e'loU lnc-+hct h"does brt n6qr r {tink-

'rt na{b'Ro'r Was a jo}+-. FoX lgehnovsl CA

I+'> o jokc. cln{1h*.

lr1,Lotg o+ bo6f5 + uniCiao, {oenl.

- alphabet n[n^l.hc,+1 6hitty.




Page 1

The second phase bas ro siphon off the revenues fron mega-hits by turning the conned-suner into the bootlegger. All it required was suppTying a hone-copying technoTogy and then legitinizing the process. The Betanax Case fulfiLled the Tatter function. The lajoritv reasoned that if Fred'Mr.'Rogers was wiTl-ing to have his neighborhood on tape' vhat difference did it natter what the Constitution said. By wiping out the real issue - the right of art-nakers to controf copying - the High Court funbied the ball and Big Brother scored a touchdown. FortunateTy, four Justices recognized the real cuTprits behind the Betamax case - the - notabLe for its nanipuTators of a vast advertise-and-suppTy syndrone. The dissent (i.e. strange bedfellows See A&R ish 22, "The MarshaTT-Rehnquist Connection - Mr. T. and CTint Eascwood Jan For Copyright") trashed the Majority for copping out on a "fair usen rational-ization. Tl'or not TV, the right to control copying is the question. By suppJying a personal copying systen and encouraging and Tegitimizing the copying of protected works, equipnent nakers start to controT the distribution of art-prod revenues. A ceiling is carefuTly lowered on a71 massiveTy popuTar art-prods. It's no accident it's so appealing and it's no accident you can do it at home. Itts just another strand in the continuing (Ed. Portions web we ca77 nThe New Privacy.o of this essay nay aPPear in a revised forn of the nThe New Privacyo pubTished by A&RCO - deaTer inquiries weTcone. )

@ rtrc.woFd

'ba, Sulaae.' pinttl

h*luur.rds on the- #ont

af ql.nh"lances;. O cotp rters lhat saf " ll.h Ne thng ;a theruJ

):0 @sogg',n3 shoes born u,i+h bvyhcrslu,'ls (nen ang!warr.€a "volra.e" the reve':sl * l$e'lrtnin3' anl bu#ons on er Fadr'osj


"be"pb":p bA" noiseoi a co/h,{h{}ro.{-fr.ll,lvting

ia Fneu€rsq @mqlclboc{4t h,;*r' -llr. s+nihg turfac<- ah tle hurong sidc-; @ sond$tc/r.cs rnade on crli3entsi@pen€tmq ,n mQqazrnes. .J



I witl be huge; @ canq tht lo&s hkL daf- glo O $ylan uroanS


vittl be.huge.; @ /liani Vica uhtlbe lug.; @)j.,ice

bot6 wil, be huge.

Brry - Fi Lllt,rmenr / *arysiJ Bathroom scde with avoict andarnema. Imasine the surprise and delieht of vour suestswhen rhevenc5unterWeightTalker,'"thi new ilectionic scalewith a triendlv synthesizedvoice.Neveragain u ill vou haveto stooD .-,rsquiht io read your weight. Nowl'ou'll heir it spoken,in a pleaiant male voi,ce.(Adju-stable volume for privatv.) ' WeiehtTalker remeinbersweiehtslor ur] to fiv-efamilr member! and tells you to the poun-d1or'/: kilogram) hou inuch lou've lost or gained.Oversizerubber On butt6n and memory kevsoperateat the pressofyour toe. Other controlsinclude kg/lb. switch, memory Or/Ofi "Have a nice dar'" or "Good Bve" ' phraseswitch. The sophisticatedelectronicsare housedin a strons sreel baseand rigged ABS outer shell.Weiehsup ro 287 lbs.il3OtZ: kg).Runs 7 AA batteries(not included).eurb Olf savespo\\er. Measures13x 14x 3", weighs8 lbs. Comesrvirh insrruirions and ()ne\ear warranty. Replaceyour old scalewith WeiehtTalker.and nou u'hen ruu stick to ybur diet, you'll hear the-goodnc\l'severv morning. . \\c.ight Talker #\JTZ.ISZ$tZS(5.50)-

5ctu.da1- .l:ooprrr. " Putt i'n on Jhc Ut,*s." Serrri-6l,ah':ts , Thc_ , Bu>>a"J Srotle" r, co-hoil

SCtu"d"l' 'l3o Plrt " Thâ&#x201A;Źto*p 6o^Twits." Thls\xs<f.,tlc *u'ins qo *o Mri ca.(ruc6f++ar':.

* +hllrl ,fille ?arti buKe Rue). Donca kepJace+

I'HEYBLUBBERBUTT, GET OFFAMY FACE!" Berrer watch where you step or you could land on the n e w e s t f a s c i s t v e r b a l c o m m a n dm o d u l e . T a l k i n g coffee machines are one thing but who needs Henny Youngmanin the bathroom -rrHEY FATSO, ROLL OVERTHREETIMES AND Y0UfLL BE IN liEtr JERSEY !II For that sexist 'rauthori-tariantr touch, the ttfriendly synthesized voicen is available in ttmalett


BAD NEWS- Requires 7 AAs. [The A&R Report refuses to endorse any appliance that requires an odd number of batteries]. [From Sharper Image, 680 Davis S.F. CA 94lll] Next ish - The Balans Chair - Pro-Soine or Earth Shoe For Your Ass?

January 1985  

Beta to the Max, letterz, Things that Should Be Abolished for 1985, TV Guide, Buy-Fi - talking bathroom scale

January 1985  

Beta to the Max, letterz, Things that Should Be Abolished for 1985, TV Guide, Buy-Fi - talking bathroom scale