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1$E P.O. Box 22LL3







cA 94L22

Happy Thanlrsgiving! !

I,OOsE IJTPS SYNC SETPS! UIIJIJI VANUJLI TAKES THE BIG FAIJII gloat diletanti and anti-pop BL,AI{E IT ON THE WflAT??? As smug rock critics entertainment of web a collusive of Mi1li VaniIli, downfall over the the crucifixion Thatts right, congloms are having the last 1augh. licensing music industry Duo is another example of the escalating of the Dreadlocked a German-American story, to tell the true shakedown. While Rob & Fab try - irnplying that the Vanilli boys disinformation eagerly disseminates cartel by an was comrnitted deception In reality, the true a fraud. committed greed. & was Rob What conspiracy fueled by U.S. and European international next album. Fabrs mistake? They wanted to sing on their The lack of slnnpathy for Rob and because the Fab is doubly tragic several sought at duo had opportunities to rrconfessrr the rrsinsrt of their predicarnent. public But the Arista-Ariola silenced any relations effort such confessions with a Grammyeffort. bashing public relations sent a clear The industry to syncsters message not only posers but to any and fashion you rock the boat If artist you risk being de-platininumized, and exposed as a rrfake.rl de-popularized demands digitally industry music licensing Nevermind that the international performers. Conned-sumers music performed by MTV-perfect visual reprocessed such as VaniTTa fce and stars to believe the charade that instant continue write the music, sing the songs, dance at 90 mph, and Pebbles can actually I'Ii77i recording. compact disc sound exactly like the oversampled stiIl packages licensing of full-functioning VaniTTi was simply one of a series created to dominate the U.S. and European CommonMarket. supports Eh.e VaniTTi still eager to dump Rob and Fab, the industry Although (a perfection in which expenses of the outdated llonkees formula) aTgorithm, If the are paid scale (without packaging credit). are low because performers the hired rrstarsrr make any demands theyrre out the door and a new group filts (including song publishing agent commands everything spot. The merchandising - a voice and the conned-sumer gets fuII featured satisfaction and licensing) - a face - a dancing body - and a catchy song. seem quaint and By the end of this decade, however, the furor over l,[i77i will products passe audio animatronics, music entertainment will incorporate function will and digital delivery systems and the syncsterrs virtual reality nelr packaged witness the birth of bloodless no longer be in demand. We will Perhaps 3-D exploitation of dead rnusical legends. stars and the functional recall with sadness - the tragic naivete of these two syncster then, wefll fungibility. to speak out against a world of overpowering legends who tried @ A&R 1990


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HeFindsHairin HisFood

Last week, r was Dâ&#x201A;Źar AtR: eating dim sum in a ."rt"ttlii and purted out a two inch ;i;il

ro say,- 5ii"T hair-. Needress eat dim sum anymore. Y"=t"::lY: I was eating yogurt and granola

and r puu6a-oit a ron{ ;;;il

up. threw almost I hair. ;5i Needtess to say, r don't =;; yogurt or grranota anymore. to " .u '" iv r , n a fra i d fact,

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me? Larry ""ii]ljl PA.

Dear rJarry! with wrong

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food. The prevalence of hair in and food is because restaurant food processing .emproyees_ ?r9 their high opposed to.covering for the sake coiffures fashion However' _ a of health. midwestern firm. has produce{ a HairWhere? hairmeter, Ylign you give follicle a will Good on food products. reading luck and happy eating!

She Wonders About Music r am wonderinq if Dear ArR: ge*ing rila"i is music everlnrhere. rf seernJrir.""iilEi r pray a new recording ori"iv stereo, it is much roua"r'?n"i when r pray an older r""".iiig at the same setting. *n"n*iTi out in pubric it se;rns rir" in" or,: iiil rouder music is erevator and at my healtn "rJ'ul


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Therers Nervoua Nellie: ::|f nothing wrong with you' Music rouder and rouder is^ getting


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nusic is a nervous' .p.:::"""tded irritabre populace ::::"1y eas i l y being of ::!?bt" tt:::; .tn?= ffi#""1T"u;="1?";'" '::5: cacophony and the enrarging

ffi:t iT.1E? H ?""J"":il:i: p"nii" "roia-and devices gatherings' Best wishes

He Hates Obvious Comments Have you noticed Dear AtRs has an obvious everybody that l,ike if Itm comment tnLsebays? plzza home some carrying say- rSmeIIs 1ike sorneLoay will plzza.trraining, its or if -sornebody sdy, rrlooks f itl6 will you got- caught in the rain. rl rnaies me nuts. I hate it reiffy say obvious it when- people Whatrs wrong with me? things!

soo Radford, Missoura; N.r.

D?::f Boos Therers nothing $rrong you' But remember - in an :i:n "f tragedy and confusion' :1:, seek t'he obvious as a !::P1" from the dav to day ::::9" the best often conplexity' olovious question T?:!"":-"^l:tt yours an obvious is 1i1: and take Be patient :lsYer: time with your fellow man'








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November 1990