POWER PACKED ISSUE
WITH THE #BEAUTIFULME CAMPAIGN
SHOW US A SELFIE WITH YOUR #BEAUTIFULME
Our Cover Models Laurence 59. I see my body as a soul vessel, and is obligated to protect and love it the best I can. Chef/ Aroma Touch Therapist/French Teacher www.worldhealingclay.com
Doris 51. It is a positive feeling to pose with other women of age, size, color and shape. Micro Current Specialist/Massage Therapist www.newface-body.com
Charlene 45. After a long battle with acne, I learned about nutrition, and discovered yoga, both of which contributed to a great deal of physical and emotional healing. I learned how to love my body. Artist/ Designer/Creative Mentor www.shapeshifterstudios.com
Helen 45. I feel beautiful from the inside out. LOVE is beauty; BEAUTY is love. Inspirational Speaker/ Author/Body, Mind, Soul www.TheHelenWoo.com
Mary 41. I not only struggled with an eating disorder for 24 years, but have also been researching the causes of body dissatisfaction and eating disorders for over two decades. Professor/BodyLove Coach www.AwakeningtheGoddessWithin.net
Umoh 37. I stand for women’s empowerment. Controlling and suppressing a woman’s power is often done by reducing her to a one dimensional beauty myth, telling her worth is decided by being a commodity to be bought and sold. Sacred Business Guide/Priestess/Writer www.Sacredbranding.com
Siri 36. When we love our body we give others permission to love theirs too. Area Manager with Arbonne International/Certified Reiki Master of Masters www.siribaruc.arbonne.com www.bigcityreiki.com
Marie 33. We’ve all got a body that we’ve been gifted with, each one unique, resilient and capable of amazing things. It’s been my experience that if you love it, it’ll love you right back. Photographer/Healer/ Mum’s Caregiver Instagram.com/snapshotsandsalutations
Sunshine 30. In order to feel good, the body requires all the goodness you can give it and in turn your body will give you goodness right back. Actress www.sunshinemanderbachjohnson.com
Linzie 24 The more you appreciate your body and love yourself the more likely you are to attract positive, encouraging, like-minded people that will help you grow in life. Nanny/Life Enthusiast 3
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Table of Contents
38 12 BellaMia August 2015
On the Cover
Our #BeautifulMe Campaign!
Body Healthy, happy, active bodies
Fashion Conscious fashion, Sarongs
Alluring Body loving recipes for your skin
Dish Salmon, peaches, and more...
Food for Thought Beauty from the inside out
Intl. Women The women of India
Me All about YOU
Editorial Photographic feast
118 New Paradigm Inner-guided goodness
132 No Briefcases Business done better
140 Music Mister Curry and the Hug Emporium
146 Source Change, Forgiveness, and Karma
150 Bellascope Your August-September Horoscope
152 SOS Body, Relationship, Communication
Love Love, sex and chemistry
Sacred Space Home, your body and space
155 All Bella Thank Youâ€™s and Celebration!
#BeautifulMe By Rebecka Eggers, Director, International section & Dr. Mary Pritchard, PhD, HHC, Director, Me section
Peruse any grocery store or bookstore and you’ll find
that makes you stand and gaze in your own mirror a
women’s magazines galore. You’ll learn how to lose weight,
little longer than you meant to) those messages are there,
put on muscle, or instructions for exactly how you should
gnawing at your sense of pride, slicing away at your gusto
look to be beautiful. At BellaMia, we believe that all women
for life. They have been planted in your mind, and like
are beautiful – just as they are. We embrace your courage
seeds they are activated in the spotlight of your important
and sense of style, love your curves and your freckles, and
moments. On your wedding day, you are wondering if
think your purple-streaked hair is awesome. We don’t want
you are princess enough to walk down that aisle with
you to “tame” your frizzy red tresses or lose 50 pounds, we
confidence. Before you even leave the hospital after giving
want you to love the skin you’re in.
birth, you are already thinking about the stretch marks
Here’s the deal: You are to beauty as God is to infinity: one and the same.
and your skinny jeans. As you watch your child walk across the stage at graduation, just a tiny bit of your attention is diverted, preoccupied by the wrinkles under your eyes and the age they represent.
Yet we know you don’t hold that truth deep in your bones, at least not always. How could you? You swim in a sea of messages that tell you what perfection is and then define it as something out of your reach and in fact, out of reach for us all. Even when you put on your little black dress (the one 14 BellaMia August 2015
By now, the very word “beauty” feels like the kind of relentless taskmaster that would have you spend your entire life chasing someone else’s ideal, and worse yet, missing out on so many more meaningful moments. We know. We have been there. That’s why we are here now.
We’ve discovered that you don’t have to choose between
just be you, no place you can go and ask experts for self-
expressing your beauty and living a full, robust life. There
love, body image, or relationships advice. We know your
is another way. The BellaMia way!
struggles. We see you. We are you. You are Beautiful.
BellaMia isn’t just a magazine. It’s your quarterly reminder
In addition to the fabulous advice you find in BellaMia
of just how truly fabulous you are. It’s also your thought
magazine, we’ll be supporting you in your self-love
revolution all wrapped up in the kind of scintillating
journey through inspirational videos, talks, webinars, and
design that makes you want to dive right in. For every time
interview series designed to help you learn to embrace
they tell you that you are not enough, we will be here to
the beautiful woman you are at your very core. Make
remind you that you are bountiful and beautiful. For every
sure to follow us on social media to keep tabs on all the
message that says you haven’t done enough, we will be
inspirational messages we are putting out there for you.
here to celebrate just how masterful you are.
We want every woman to be able to look in the mirror and
BellaMia is here to inspire and embolden you to redefine your experience of womanhood and to put the word beauty back where it belongs: In your hands! At BellaMia, we don’t simply believe every woman is beautiful, we know it deep in our bones. We want you to know it too, and to live it.
say, “You are beautiful. I love you.” To the woman they see staring back at them. To kickstart this campaign, we’ve created a video just for you, from our hearts to yours. You can watch it here. Please contact us through our website www.bellamiamag. com and let us know what you’d like to see in the #BeautifulMe campaign. What are your struggles? What do
That’s why BellaMia is pleased to announce the
you need help with? This is your campaign as much as it is
#BeautifulMe campaign. We realize that there are other
movements out there that want women to see their own
Much love, The Bella Babes
beauty. But there is no magazine with that purpose in mind. There is no place to go for information on how to
The mission is to change the lives of every person open to discovering their soul’s purpose and living a life they didn’t know was possible for them on an individual level. At BellaMia, we believe every woman is beautiful. EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Mia Saenz ART DIRECTOR Charlene Maguire EDITOR Amanda Rhymers ADVISORY CONSULTANT Laurence Yhuello INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DIRECTOR Rebecka Eggers ME DIRECTOR Dr. Mary Pritchard LIFESTYLE DIRECTOR Sharon Otness FASHION EDITOR Linnea Duvall BUSINESS DIRECTOR Gina Hussar BODY, MUSIC, NEW PARADIGM DIRECTOR Amanda Rhymers SOCIAL MEDIA Nicole Mazer BEAUTIFUL ME TEAM Mia Saenz, Dr. Mary Pritchard, Laurence Yhuello, Rebecka Eggers, Amanda Rhymers, Charlene Maguire This publication is published bi-monthly For advertising, please contact BellaMia Magazine at BellaMiaMagazine@gmail.com BellaMia is a publication of BellaMia Inc. BellaMiaMag.com
16 BellaMia August 2015
Love Revolution Online Retreat Where Love, Self-Care, Self-Discovery, and all of Love joins you. Hosted by Mia Saenz brought to you by BellaMia Magazine Join us for this Free Virtual Series in the comfort of your own home. www.loverevolutionseries.com
R E V O L UTION 17
18 BellaMia August 2015
Editor in Chief Letter
ear BellaMia Readers, At BellaMia we love what we do. We are all excited to share with you this bold, edgy and empowering issue themed Beautiful Me. Beautiful me is all about Body Love, Body Wellness and Body Image concerns. These all go together with acceptance, love and honoring how you feel about your body. Every woman should love who she is. Every woman should value, and appreciate herself. Nothing should ever stop her. This amazing issue has three editorial Body Projects and three interviews with models, as well as tons of intriguing articles. Body Love is exceptionally important across the globe. We came across an international Body Love program that we just had to bring to you. We hope you are as inspired by this video and article we wrote about one our sister Michal Grinvald in Israel. Body topics affect every woman. Did you know that 90% of men and women don’t like what they see within themselves or their body? When you feel uncomfortable within your skin, it really is a disservice to you. Here at BellaMia we encourage you to embrace who you are, and we hope that this transformational issue blesses and serves you well. Your beauty isn’t just skin deep and neither is BellaMia. Join us for a deep dive into your magnificence and into the timeless truth that every woman is beautiful. Thank you! Much Love and Gratitude,
Mia Saenz Editor in Chief
How To Keep Upbeat When Injury Has You Down Victoria Wynn oday marks the day I begin my slow and steady workout routine after a back injury several months ago. I was on a roll! I had lost 30 lbs., could run a 10k and was about to sign up for my first 5k run. So what does one do when injury throws a wrench in your thrilling momentum? I recall other injuries I’ve had including recovery from
wherever you are in the moment. Health during an injury can be tricky. I’ve made a few changes that I think have led to my 137 lb pre-injury weight only moving up to the 142 lbs. that I am today. (not bad for overdosing on Netflix and hours of hot baths) I don’t drink juice other than the occasional smoothie with my kids or rare glass of green juice
birthing my 5 children. Self esteem challenges began to
with breakfast. My drink of choice is sparkling water
creep in, I missed my routine of putting on my cute tennis
with lemon. The fizz of soda with zero calories and
outfits and slowly but surely internal lies would set in and
the detoxification benefits of lemon. I learned about
sadness took over. When you’re an active person, not
this option traveling Europe last year. At first I was just
much can be more devastating than being bed ridden. So today as I lace up my running shoes I wonder why this two and a half month exercise break was different than the rest. I only gained a few pounds back, I’m far from depressed and excited to start at the beginning and work my way back up on my “Couch To 5k” app. Truth Confession: Those past few months weren’t perfect.
stomaching it down to fit in with the locals but the next thing I knew I was buying Perrier by the case and lemons by the bag when I got back to the U.S. Continue to do exercises that don’t worsen your injury. I was able to do light yoga, short walks and leg lifts. Just a little each day will keep your blood flowing and endorphins coming.
I was injured by someone else so it wasn’t just a test of
Be mindful of what you’re eating. If you
keeping fit or staying positive, it was a spiritual journey
want a treat, just know that you won’t be working it off
of forgiveness too. I did have some rough moments where
like you used to so only choose your very favorite treats
anger crept in, but my most common negative thought
and don’t waste calories on the rest.
was a fear that my old fitness level may not completely
I’m known for having a huge spinach and raspberry salad
return. I’m still working on that part since only time will
with some bites of cheesecake on the side. Shhh….
tell, but here’s what I do know about peace, health and love:
Love is a vital part of this conversation. For myself, getting
Peace within doesn’t come from being perfect. Running
women’s bodies, its about living long, feeling strong and
the perfect 8 minute mile or having the perfect set of
keeping up with my kids. At the ripe ole age of 41, I now see
glutes or eating a perfectly balanced diet isn’t peace.
my efforts as a clear act of self love.
Peace comes from being one’s truth and being okay with 20 BellaMia August 2015
fit is less about comparing my body to that of other
Choose the behaviors and thoughts that are most loving to you. It looks different for everyone and thats okay! Each day that you’re mindful of your food choices, add a few more reps to your lunges or jog a little further, high five
Victoria Wynn Mother of 5, Founder of “The Lies I Tell Myself Project” Student of herself www.theliesitellmyself.com
yourself for the gift of loving the most important person in your life, yourself! Take care of you and others will surely feel it too.
Let Your Body Flip You to Positive Andrea Allen or most, everyday consists of a collection of little or big events that can easily flip us from moments of contentment into moments of stress, self-doubt, negativity and even mental darkness! In this state, your body immediately starts to react and attack, your mind gets foggy and your ability to feel joy vanishes in an instant. There is hope. You can use your body to quickly flip your mind back into the positive, allowing you very little time to wallow in the negative and more time to enjoy your life and live in alignment with your purpose.
Below are 5 Yoga Poses that are sure to help you flip.
down you actually reduce the production of the stress
Choose the one right for each moment.
hormone, cortisol, which can de-stress you in the short-
If you’re feeling a little anxious: Supta Baddha Konasa (Reclined Bound Angle Pose) If you notice you’re breath is short and you’re feeling a little anxious due to the negative thoughts or worries , then quickly move to the ground and lay on your back.
term and also help relieve minor depression. To do a handstand, find a wall. Place your hands a few inches away from a wall and then walk the feet closer to the wall, lifting the hips. Raise one leg straight up toward the ceiling, and push off the other bent leg to kick up and take the feet to the wall into Handstand. Keep both arms
Bring the bottoms of your feet together so your knees
straight and stretch the heels up the wall. Lift your head
are out and then place one hand on your belly and one
slightly to look at the wall. Hold for up to 1 minute.
hand on your heart. Bring your awareness to the rise and
If you can’t let go of a thought, emotion or negative feeling:
fall of your breath and allow it to become slow and even. Remember that like your breath ,this anxious feel will come and go and that there is always joy waiting there
Eka Pada Rajakapotasana (Pigeon Pose) This is a deep hip
within your heart.
opener and it is in our hips that vital feelings are stored.
If you’re feeling a self-doubt, stressed or depressed: Sirsasana (Headstand) or Adho Mukha Vrksasana (Handstand) The benefits of these inversion postures is long and includes increased circulation, balance, core strength, digestion, and much more. One of the best benefits is that it makes you feel alive and change your perspective in the moment and beyond. By going upside 22 BellaMia August 2015
If done correctly, carefully and with deep breathes and a constant awareness of letting go you can trigger a release of some of the thoughts and emotions that have you stuck and finally allow you to be free. From Downward-Facing Dog, place your right knee on the mat behind your right wrist in line with your right hip and your right heel in line with your left hip. Your left leg extends back behind you with your knee and the top
of your foot facing down. From there, lower your torso toward the mat. Hold for 10 breaths then repeat on the other side.
If you need a quick pick-me-up and to get you excited about life: Sun Salutations. Our bodies are immediately affected by the shift into negative thoughts and often react with a heavy, drained sluggish feeling. There’s nothing more effective than a couple of quick sun salutations to get the body moving and the blood pumping so it can send our brain a message of excitement and motivation. Google “sun salutation instructions” to learn this powerful sequence of yoga poses that will be a powerful tool to keep your body alive and your thoughts motivated to really live.
If you need to remind yourself that it’s going to be OK: Happy Baby Pose. There is nothing like being rocked back and forth and told everything is going to be ok. You don’t have to be a baby to experience this feeling. This pose opens you up and as you rock back and forth giving yourself a little low back massage you can smile like a baby and say over and over, “it’s all going to be ok” allowing you to move back into your inner child and remember to just be happy. Lie on your back, bend your knees into you body and then grab the outsides of your feet. Open your knees slightly wider than your torso, then bring them up toward your armpits. Position each ankle directly over the knee, so your shins are perpendicular to the floor. Flex through the heels and push your feet into your hands. Rock back and forth and SMILE! You have so much to share with the world! Experiment and create more poses and little things you can do to help flip faster into the positive. When those moments or thoughts come we don’t always have the environment to jump into a yoga pose. We might be driving or at the office or a soccer game and we need something quick and accessible to help us flip back to the positive. Here are 6 Quick and Easy Tips to Flip You to the Positive 23
Using your cell phone.
link for more ideas! Start RECORDING now!
Inspiration: What is it that inspires to you?
Social Support: Surround Yourself with Positive Friends,
Get 3 things that inspires you on your phone so you
Family and Networks!
see it when you need it!! For me, my kids inspire me to
Jump on your Facebook, your network groups, your email
keep my energy and vibration up, (Ex: Their picture is
or scroll down your contacts. First notice how many
set as my wallpaper). Or take 2 mins and listen to your
people are there and know you and support you! Next
favorite SONG. (Mine: “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” by
step – REACH OUT! Just shoot one friend a quick message,
Cyndi Lauper). Have on your phone a favorite QUOTE.
a tweet, a text or an email letting them know how your
(Mine: “It’s not who you were yesterday, but who you
feeling, what’s got you down, or even a simple, “Just
are today”). If it’s a goal, write it down in your NOTES!
wanted to say HI”. Join our InspireME-circle and feel
Whatever inspires YOU – see it, hear it, feel the flip into the
positive and let it do it’s magic!!
Act of Kindness: What have you done for someone else
Gratitude: What are you thankful for RIGHT NOW?
Text yourself 5 things you are truly grateful for right now!
Nothing makes us feel better then when we get away from
Or if want, go to your notes and Keep a Gratitude journal
ourselves and make someone else HAPPY! So here it is….
on your phone so it goes with you wherever you go and
Pick up the phone and CALL someone who might need
you can always refer back to it when you can’t think of
a little lift me up or might like to hear your voice. Send a
anything! Want to share your gratitude, text your list to a
quick text of encouragement, a Happy Birthday message to
a Facebook Friend, like someone’s page or send an e-card!
Meditate/Pray: Scientific research proves that
Backbends. Backbends are the most obvious poses for
meditation/spiritual connection can create positive
energizing—even gentle backbends can be stimulating.
changes and perspectives.
Since it’s cooler, darker weather, I’ve been playing a
Set your Cell phone timer for 3-5 minute. You can do this anywhere but if it’s possible, find a quiet place like bathroom stall, corner, close your office door, car. Close your eyes, bring your awareness to your breathe and start to count the length of your breath, 1234-4321, see if
lot with the “backbend” in forward-bending poses. For example, Parsvottanasana (Intense Side Stretch Pose) with my hands in prayer behind my back is both energizing and soothing. It’s exactly what I need during the holiday season.
you can lengthen your breath. In this place you can pray,
Sun Salutations. As the days get shorter approaching the
meditate or just enjoy this state of stillness! If you prefer
Winter Equinox, it’s tempting to curl up with a bolster
add meditational music or try one of the many meditation
and call it a day. There are certainly times when that’s just
apps, like Headspace or The Mindfulness App.
what the doctor ordered. However, when I’m just feeling
Self-Talk/Positive Affirmations: What words are you using in your Head? Talk and Use Positive Words about YOU and about What you WANT! Use any type of RECORDER App and Record 5 Positive Affirmations. Need a tip: Try statements that start in the first person: I … “feel confident and capable of doing
sluggish and stagnant, there’s nothing more effective than a couple of quick Sun Salutes to help me feel like myself again. Inversions. Headstand and Handstand in particular are energizing for me. And if I only have a couple of minutes, this is my practice.
the task in front of me” … “I am so grateful for kids that
Put simply, you feel better when you walk out of class than
share and treat each other with respect”, “I am in control
when you walked in. The question is, why? Better yet, how
of what I eat and how I treat my body.” Click on the above
does yoga work? As you’ve probably heard, one reason
24 BellaMia August 2015
asana leaves you feeling so good is that it activates your
Happy Baby Pose. Even the name of this pose brings a
parasympathetic nervous system, thanks to two elements
smile to my face. Who doesn’t love a happy baby? (I’m
that almost all asana practices have in common—the
especially fond of happy babies that take their regularly
lengthening and strengthening of musculature and calm,
scheduled naps!) It also feels good to feel freedom in my
even breathing. The parasympathetic is the part of your
hips and roll around a bit, giving myself a little low little
nervous system that slows you down—it’s responsible for
telling your muscles to relax, improving your digestion and assimilation, boosting immunity, and helping you sleep better. It also normalizes your blood pressure and lowers your heart rate. The parasympathetic nervous system counteracts many stress-related symptoms and the negative by-products of our modern, fast-paced, highoutput lives. But the truth is that much of the yoga being practiced these days doesn’t do as much for the parasympathetic nervous system as you might think. To build your
Lie on your back, bend your knees into you body and then grab the outsides of your feet. Open your knees slightly wider than your torso, then bring them up toward your armpits. Position each ankle directly over the knee, so your shins are perpendicular to the floor. Flex through the heels and push your feet into your hands. Rock back and forth and SMILE! Andrea Allen www.inspireme2b.com
parasympathetic nervous system, you need to do poses that encourage deep relaxation, such as forward bends and hip openers; do fewer standing poses; and do more sitting, supine, and prone postures as well as inversions. You also need to hold poses longer, as you would in restorative yoga, and dedicate longer periods of time to developing slow and complete breathing. Vigorous vinyasa, backbends, handstands, and arm balances are powerful and beneficial, but they don’t stimulate your parasympathetic nervous system as much as the practices listed previously
Conscious fashion! What a concept Linnea Duvall n today’s modern world the phrase conscious
no use or support to you. Conscious fashion is knowing
fashion may conjure up the specter of sweat shops
and celebrating your best attributes; what shape you are,
and cheap labor creating inexpensive fashions,
what body parts to accentuate and which to minimize,
(and that will be an article for another time). But
what colors to wear, how to draw attention to your best
this commentary is to bring into clear focus
attributes, and minimize those that are not your best,
a method of choosing your fashion that has
and use your clothing and colors to do so. When you
actually been around for many many years. The great
look great, when you have chosen fashion and colors that
beauties throughout the centuries, or those considered
absolutely compliment your shape, your skin tone, your
uber stylish and attractive women, knew this method,
hair, and your personality, you have put the self-conscious
and utilized it to the fullest extent their whole lives. This
questioning…do I look OK, do I look fat, does this outfit
method, I call it conscious fashion, is the difference
work, how’s my hair, do they see that blemish, blah blah
between being self-conscious, and being conscious of your
blah, out of the way! You know you look great, because
self. And yes, that brings us back to one of the Delphic
everything about what you have chosen to put on works for
maxims, one of the Seven Great Truths, inscribed on the
you and presents such a harmonious image, no one thing
Temple of Apollo at Delphi; Know Thyself.
stands out…YOU just look terrific…ALL of you! THAT is
When you know yourself, you know and embrace your
positive attributes and you know and minimize your less
Some women know instinctively how to do this for
positive attributes. We all have both positive and not so
themselves. It is a natural, creative endeavor for them.
positive attributes and most of us, rather than knowing
They relish it and are successful at presenting themselves
and celebrating our positive attributes, are VERY aware
in their best possible light. But if you do not know how
of and familiar with our less positive attributes. That is
to do this for yourself, if you do not know which way to
often because they are the ones we see every time we
turn in your closet, or you simply cannot have a clear and
look in a mirror, or the ones we think about every time
appreciative eye for your positive attributes, but only have
someone looks at us, or compliments us. How many
a jaundiced eye trained to always see your faults, then I
women do you know, and ‘fess up if you do this, how
encourage you to get guidance and support in presenting
many women do you know that when complimented, say,
yourself in the best possible manner! Hire a personal
“Really??”, as if looking good that day was just luck! Or
stylist to guide you into your best look. She can teach you
they say, “Are you sure, because I think…” fill in the blank
how to practice conscious fashion, a practice that has
with some negative comment about themselves, their
you always looking great. And a stylist can ultimately save
shape, their size, their hair, their clothes, any of which
you time and money because you learn to buy only those
you have just complimented them on and they can’t
colors and styles that will be an asset to you…as you can
disbelieve or reduce fast enough! That is not conscious
read here, from a terrific personal stylist in Seattle, (who
fashion. That is a self-conscious, negative view that is of
styles/consults on a national basis, and who previously had
26 BellaMia August 2015
a career in philanthropy), “I’ve been styling friends, family
“I never did it for myself,” she told WWD in 2009, at a
members and random people on the street my entire
ceremony marking her 100th birthday. “I did it for the
life. Style direction is something that comes naturally to
youngsters that came to see me, to teach them how to
me. When I discovered that not everyone knows the most
dress, to give them confidence in their own beauty – how
flattering way to pair pieces for their body, I decided to
to show themselves off through colors, styles, everything.”
shift career paths to help in a different way.” “My previous work fuels my belief that fashion is for everyone, regardless of wealth (or weight.) Sure, I appreciate the finer things just like anyone else, but I balance “investment pieces” with affordable items to
“Designers [today] unfortunately think about making their mark on their design,” she continued. “I didn’t think of my designs like that. I thought about the young girls, the young women that I dressed, even my models, to show off their beauty to the maximum.”
ensure my external style accurately represents who I am,
Another expert who helps women show off their beauty
what I value and how I express myself. And that’s what I
and attractiveness to the maximum is Emmy Award
give my clients: a renewed sense of self that reflects who
winning stylist Brenda Cooper. Her imperative is to find
they are in a way that makes them shine.” Mellicia Marx,
your best colors first. And I agree with her wholeheartedly.
Personal Stylist, Poplin Style Direction
I had my colors done back in the late 70’s, and I have stayed
Read clearly…a renewed sense of Self, that reflects who they are in a way that makes them shine! Makes THEM shine…not the designers, not the stylist, you, the woman that is wearing the fashion to best enhance every single positive attribute you have and minimize any that may cause that self-consciousness we are looking to avoid! This practice has been utilized for centuries. It is the secret of all attractive women, whatever their wealth, weight, height, shape, or whether they have the know-how, or they need to be guided.
within the palette that works for me ever since. Brenda says, “Color is your most important fashion element. The right colors make you look powerful, younger, slimmer, more vibrant, and even happier. It’s kinesthetic. It enables you to step into your magnificence, release your charisma. Music is to the ear what color is to the eye. Wearing the wrong colors, (for your skin tone), creates discord.” style@ brendacooper.com So whether you do it yourself or hire a guide, take on conscious fashion as a practice. Create a wardrobe that is pared down and empowering. Choose only clothing and
Madame Carven, the French Couturier, speaks of it. Born
colors that truly make you shine, make you look and feel
August 31, 1909, she presented her first collection in 1945.
glorious, and then watch the results! You’ll love it.
She said, “I decided to make haute couture outfits in my size because I was too short, (she was 5’ 1”), to wear the creations of the top couturiers, who only ever showed their
Linnea Duvall, MFT LMDuvall@yahoo.com
designs on towering girls,”
Sarong Linnea Duvall arong. Just the word makes you happy…makes you take in
sensual piece of cotton, silk, or other luxe fabric, brightly
a deep breath and release it
colored and/or richly printed or decorated to luxuriate in
with a satisfied ahhhhh, just thinking of the warmth and the sand and the sun and the waves that sarongs always conjure. Oh, and the relaxed elegant ease one has when wearing a sarong, and the relaxed, yet can be elegant, environment one often wears one in. Sarong, aka Pareo, as defined by Merriam Webster dictionary: “a long strip of cloth that is wrapped loosely around the body.”
28 BellaMia August 2015
Woefully inadequate and lack luster. Here, rather: “a long
as a wrap around the body, as a beautiful cover up on or near the water, or, tied and belted creatively to be worn as a beautiful dress or skirt, out for the evening.” A sarong can take you from pool/beach straight through to dinner… and dancing, if you want. Take a look on You Tube for many fantastic ways to take your sarong and tie it into a dress, a skirt, a shirt…the possibilities are myriad, and each is beautiful, feminine, ultra-comfortable, and elegant. Enjoy!!
Following Your Bliss Kami Lerner aven’t you always heard, “If you
have never been happier and if I can tell you all ONE thing,
do what you love, you‘ll never work
it would be to Follow Your Bliss. Do what makes your heart
a day in your life”? I never really
sing. Find what it is that ignites your spirit and makes
knew the extent of that feeling until recently. Throughout my life, I’ve done a thousand different things, worked many different jobs
you happy and pursue that. Not only will you be happier in your life because you’ll be doing what you LOVE to do, but it will also allow you to live a life intended for your
and had a handful of different careers; all simply, for the
own greatness. There is NOTHING sexier than watching
sake of making money. It wasn’t until the past few years,
someone do their ‘craft’ well. Do your craft well. Be proud
where I kind of ‘fell’ into my greatest passion; My Jewelry
of who you are and what you bring to the table and don’t let
line, that I was able to live that saying.
anybody squash your dreams.
I’ve always needed to create in order to truly be happy…
I have seen many people do what they feel they are
and with my art, I was able to feel that freedom, but
‘supposed’ to do because they believe it will bring them
it wasn’t allowing me to pay my bills. The old adage,
financial stability and that’s very admirable, however, I
‘struggling artist’ was absolutely true. After I spent some
question whether they are truly fulfilling their desires. For
time designing jewelry with a friend of mine, I decided
me personally, I need to create and dream and be inspired
to ‘follow MY bliss’ and do what I love…MY Jewelry. Not
as well as inspire others. That to me, is worth the fear that
only did it become a HUGE success in the first year, but,
some months might not be as profitable as others. Some
it allowed me to do what I love doing and make money at
months are slower and a little scarier, but I still just keep
it as well. I DO understand the quote now about ‘doing
reminding myself that I am at MY best when I am doing
what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life’…
what I love and am able to share my creations with those
but, for ME, I never worked harder in my entire life than
around me. There is no greater feeling to make something
during that first year, and I LOVED every second of it! It
with your bare hands and have other people absolutely
wasn’t a chore or a struggle, I didn’t mind working seven
LOVE it! It’s not an ego thing, it’s a heart and soul thing. I
days a week or at all hours of the day…because it filled my
put my blood, sweat and tears into every piece of jewelry
soul. I never dragged myself out of bed in the morning, but
that I make and I treasure the smiles and the compliments
rather, I would literally jump out of bed and was so excited
of each and every client that loves my work and comes
to start my day. I had a newfound confidence that was
back for more.
untouchable. I found that my creations were being worn by some of the most sought after celebrities in Hollywood, as well as many people I’ve come to call my friends. I could think outside the box and create things that I’ve always wanted to wear, but could never find. I saw my dreams come to fruition and my hard work become my reality. I 30 BellaMia August 2015
I am forever grateful that my passion allowed me to experience pure joy and if you CAN…I would suggest you DO the same. Take note of when your heart rises up with joy and excitement in response to a path of action, a new idea, or an opportunity. Don’t miss the moment and let it
slip away. Trust what you are feeling. I’ve heard more times than I’d like, that “it’s time to get a real job Kami.” But, for ME…THIS is my life. This is my chance to be authentically who I am without any apologies…and who knows, my passion today might lead to a completely different passion in the future and that’s okay too.
“Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.” ~Joseph Campbell Kami Lerner www.kamiart.com
Fashion’s Transitional Months Frustrating and Fascinating Tina Ketchie Stearns ugust and September can be crazy when it comes to fashion. You wonder if you will freeze in the morning and end up sweating by the afternoon, or the other way around depending on the day. To help you feel beautiful no matter what the weather is, here are some of the Fall 2015 fashion trends and how to adjust what you picked out in the morning when the day doesn’t end as it began. Carwash pleats - Showing off your legs in a skirt with carwash pleats allows you to bare skin for warmer temps, or layer against sheer tights or hose when things get a bit chilly. Fur sleeves – This Fall fashion trend is all about warmth and comfort. From shoes to bags and collars, fur has extended its influence all the way to the sleeves. But if the day turns warmer, just toss this fashion statement on the back of the chair so you can still enjoy its beauty without melting under all that comfy cozy warmth.
materials included. When the night gets chilly, put on that fur sleeved jacket and you’re set! High-waist pants - With the waists rising higher and higher, the cinched pant silhouettes promise to elongate your legs and highlight your midriff in the most beautiful way possible, tucked in billowy blouses and cropped jackets adding to their effortless versatile appeal this season. Pant Suits - The androgynous tailoring of pant suits have some going slouchy. Tiny polka-dots, whispers of scarlet red and cinched waists represent some of the ways in which the suits grew infinitely more feminine this season. Easy enough to put the jacket on or take it off as the hot/ cold weather continues to confound you. New Plaid - There’s something about plaid and autumn coming together that no one seems to be able to fight, instead what everyone appears to be doing is adding more fuel to the fire by reinventing the old, and reimaging the perennial pattern in countless new ways. Your plaid piece can be dictated by the weather, so select a plaid scarf,
Neo Victorian - Ruffles, high-collars, and precious fabrics
blouse, earrings, belt, skirt or boots to go big and warm or
point toward a serious step back in time to the 19th
small and light.
century. Beautiful even today, the Victorian influences make for a fun way of reinventing your wardrobe come fall. The light, breezy, lacy peek-a-boo pieces you enjoyed this summer are a great first step toward this look, especially on warmer days.
Another fashion trend of note - everyone at Go Free Pants was thrilled to read that, according to a recent article in the New York Times, thong sales are down and granny pants are making a comfortable comeback! Take this poll to see where you fall in the underwear category. Ladies
The Slip Dress – Perfect for the warmer days, this trend
who go commando now represent 12% of us, almost tied
gives a nod to the ’90s made to look and feel incredibly
with the 19% who wear thongs. Comfort is winning, and
modern. The slip dress marks its return on the fashion
my prediction is that going commando will rise to the top
radar come fall, spaghetti straps, lace trims and silky
as soon as women allow themselves that secret privilege to
32 BellaMia August 2015
be comfortable and feel sexy. With this season of transition, take some time to transition your mind to appreciating all of the changes, not only in fashion and the weather, but in your mind, body and spirit so you can fully embrace the beautiful person who is YOU! I love Megan Trainer’s song, “All About That Bass” because she does just that. Read this and live by it!
If you got beauty beauty just raise ‘em up ‘Cause every inch of you is perfect From the bottom to the top Yeah, my momma she told me don’t worry about your size She says, boys they like a little more booty to hold at night You know I won’t be no stick-figure, silicone Barbie doll, So, if that’s what’s you’re into Then go ahead and move along
Yeah it’s pretty clear, I ain’t no size two
No, I’m just playing I know you think you’re fat,
But I can shake it, shake it like I’m supposed to do
But I’m here to tell you that,
‘Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase
Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top
All the right junk in all the right places I see the magazines working that Photoshop
Tina Ketchie Stearns owner of Go Free® Pants
We know that sh*t ain’t real
Come on now, make it stop
Anti-aging Facial Scrub for Flawless Skin Sharon Otness 4 T. Ground Oatmeal 2-3 T. Manuka or Raw Honey 2 drops therapeutic grade frankincense oil 2 drops therapeutic grade lavender essential oils 2 drops therapeutic grade geranium essential oils Create a thick paste with the oatmeal and honey, adding more honey as needed. Add essential oils (these oils were all selected for their skin renewing properties. Place warm wash cloth on clean face to open pores. Rub scrub mixture into your skin, using circular motions and be gentle please! Allow to sit for 2-5 minutes. Then gently scrub again, exfoliating away dead skin cells. Wash scrub off with warm water. Your skin will look and feel amazing.
34 BellaMia August 2015
All Natural Deodorant Charlene Maguire everal years ago I started a relationship with all natural bath and body products. Anything with long chemical names, words that were really heard to pronouce, or that contained parabens (hormone disruptors),
¼ cup arrowroot flour 5-10 drops essential oil (I used jasmine) Directions: In a medium bowl, mix the baking soda and arrowroot flour until well combined. Baking soda can be quite
were thrown out. I went on a search for not only some
irritating on some skin, so if you think you may be
great natural companies and their products, but also
sensitive to it, use less baking soda and more arrowroot
recipies to make my own.
flour – or you can substitute arrowroot flour for baking
The one all-natural product that just never seemed to work
no matter what brand or kind I bought was deodorant.
Add the coconut oil (room temperature works best) and
I went through quite a few kinds until the decision was
mix until you reach a smooth consistency – there shouldn’t
made to just make my own! I found a lot of information on
be any leftover powder. If you feel that your mixture is too
the internet, including people like myself who just couldn’t
dry, add a bit more coconut oil and mix some more.
find a natural deodorant that WORKED. This very simple recipe did the trick. Even on the hottest Los Angeles days, when sweat is non-stop, this stuff
Add your essential oil, or a mixture if you like. This is optional, but why not add a fun intoxicating scent!
worked. 4 simple ingredients!
The only other thing to keep in mind is that if you live in a
in the refrigerator, or you get to mix it up each morning, as
½ cup organic coconut oil
really hot climate, the mixture will either need to be stored the coconut oil will go liquid. Either way, it still works.
¼ cup baking soda
Holistic Revitalizing Lemon Scrub Mask Renee Lynn 1 Organic Lemon, Freeze Hydrogen Peroxide, a Couple Drops Directions: Put it in the freezer to get frozen solid hard. Remove lemon and zest it in a grater, put it in a Tupperware and return to freezer. One medium size lemon yields 3 treatments. A couple tablespoons of the zest to a couple drops of hydrogen peroxide. What it will do: The hydrogen peroxide will release the enzymes from the proteins in the lemon. Use it as a scrub a couple minutes. Then leave it on as a mask 10 minutes. What that does is revitalized the tissue to lighten and brighten and increase the circulation and refine the pores. 36 BellaMia August 2015
Would you like to feel
Nourished ? Download your free BodyLovin Goddess Guide to essential oils
Grilled Salmon Over Quinoa with Grilled Veggies Sharon Otness This is more of a meal plan than a recipe. Once you
are heating up the grill (no matter what kind you
Next, grill your fish. I chose salmon because I love
use), why not put it to good use? This is a perfect
it and it is full of healthy omega-3 and it is a mood
time to grill some veggies to have for this meal
booster. I keep it simple because salmon has so
and later in the week. No need to turn on the oven
much flavor on itâ€™s own. A light brushing of olive oil
when itâ€™s hot! Just prep a variety of veggies (I used
, lemon pepper and a bit of fresh thyme does it for
zucchini slices, red and yellow bell peppers cut
in half, red onion slices and asparagus to use as a
When the salmon is off the grill, place a portion of
garnish), brush with olive oil and put on the grill,
the quinoa and veggie mixture on a plate, top with
either use sewers of some kind of grilling basket or
salmon and place asparagus spears on top.
tray. Once they are done, let cool a bit and cut into
A beautiful, easy summertime meal. If you have
bite sized pieces. I tossed them with some tri-color
extra veggies or quinoa left over, they make a
quinoa. No dressing needed, but I did add some
fresh basil for extra flavor. Any herb of your choice
38 BellaMia August 2015
Grilled Peaches with Coconut Cream Sharon Otness 2 peaches cut in half, pit removed 1 can full fat coconut milk, chilled in the refrigerator 1T. raw honey (or to taste) Â˝ tsp. vanilla Blackberries and fresh mint for garnish Place peach halves on the grill, just long enough to warm thru and carmelize the tops so they are nice and brown. Remove and set aside. To make coconut cream: remove top from chilled can of coconut milk. The thick part will be on the top. Remove this from the liquid and place in a chilled bowl. Add a bit of honey and vanilla. Whisk to form a whipped cream consistency. Place a spoonful on each warm peach half, garnish with mint and berries and serve.
Food for Thought
A Kitchen That Sings Patricia Rust
40 BellaMia August 2015
ranes swooping through the skies
and while you can while away your hours at Pilates, yoga,
right next to what I thought were
walking among wild flowers, having chocolate facials and
hawks greeted me on a warm spring
massages, and/or cook, I was honored to meet a visiting
day in Baja, one of those mysterious places
chef from Northern California named Gloria Dominguez,
that no one really knows too much about.
who, I swear could pull garden weeds and make them taste
Is Baja part of California or is it Mexico? Do they speak Spanish there or do they speak English? Some call it Baja California and some call it Baja Mexico. I have seen Baja from boats via cruise ships excursions and I have approached it by car and each time its magic sweeps over me and I swear to spend more time there and give myself over to its mystery.
like manna from heaven. There were about 12 of us who had enrolled in class where Rancho La Puerta’s magnificent terra cotta and brick state of the art kitchen reveals a mirrored ceiling that allows the teaching chef make sure no one misses a trick! And did she ever have a few up her sleeve! Have you ever heard of taking a tortilla and filling it with dark chocolate for
Its whales give birth there. Its Native Americans made
dessert and then covering it with fresh mulberries or any
their home there. Grandfather Raven, who lived here,
kind of fresh fruit? OMG! You will be in heaven! But I was
once told me that I was a duck, which was important,
here for vegetables as they are the building blocks of sound
he explained because I needed to lead my flock in heart
nutrition, cancer prevention, healthy hearts, and so much
and mind. For me, it represents a world renowned spa
called Rancho La Puerta (rancholapuerta.com) that has had me coming back for many years not just for massages and facials but for innovative technologies, cutting edge exercise for the world to embrace, and innovations, not the least of which I discovered last week, which was a toilet that flushed using a mere pint of water! Plus, I did an
In Mexico, they love the health benefits of cactus! The Nopal cactus is especially healthy and is readily available elsewhere and comes in many forms. If you have ever purchased it and found it to be slimy, the solution is to simply soak it in some rock salt and the problem is solved!
exercise case using parachute material that was developed
Then you can put it into soup, do just as you would into
by the Navy Seals because they had to work in a small
any vegetable soup, or slice it into a fabulous salad. We
space! It was not only fun but an absolutely great workout.
made one called: Nopalitos Salad in which you cut about
And for this, you need healthy delicious nutrition for which
seven tender Nopales cactus strips, add some sea salt, and
Rancho La Puerta is famous as they grow it all right there!
then let it sit for a few minutes, then rinse to remove any
I came to Rancho La Puerta primarily to attend cooking school as I want to cook with the ingredients that they grow organically that taste so amazingly fresh, delicious, and manage to serve in such original ways to have inspired me to want to finally realize that I have run out of excuses not to learn to cook! I have been saying for years that I
slimy juice. Then combine the cactus with ½ cup cherry tomatoes, a small red union, ½ fava beans or edamame, a chopped Serrano chile, 1 t. oregano, 2 t. white vinegar, and 4 t. olive oil. Put the salad on a serving platter and garnish with fresh flowers! It’s delicious and so original and like nothing else you have ever tasted.
know how to assemble food and I do. Now I needed to
Here’s the recipe that I had found more fun pounding in a
know how to season it, sauté it, and make it really zing
pestle that getting pounded upon in a massage! And, it is
with excitement the way they do and from only a few
so easy/breezy that you can make it in your beauty sleep!
hours from Los Angeles. Anyone can cook and can make
Stone-ground salsa is a staple and goes great with and
nutritious food for themselves and those they love and
on everything, of course, and begins with the finest ripe
tomatoes you can find. Two are all you need and you put
Their resident cooking school has the world most beautiful name: La Cochina que Canta – The Kitchen That Sings -- on top of which that I was lucky as it was cooking week
them in a big pan with three or less Serrano or Habanero Chiles, one clove garlic, and some sea salt. You peel the tomatoes but keep the peel in the mixture, and put it all 41
into the pestle and pound away until you have a chunky
believe that “The Ranch” as it is affectionately called, would
consistency. Serve. You can make it as spicy or as mild as
share their recipes but they did.
you like depending on how many or as much of the chiles that you use! And then, for a treat, there are the gluten free almond cookies that Rancho La Puerta is famous for. I couldn’t
Bon Appetit! Patricia Rust www.patriciarust.com
Gluten Free Coconut Almond Cookies Ingredients: 5 cups ground almonds or almond meal 1 ¼ cups shredded coconut, unsweetened 1 ¼ cups sugar 7 egg whites, beaten to soft peaks 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 1 tablespoon orange zest Directions: 1 Pre heat oven to 300° degrees. 2 Use parchment paper. 3 Mix the almond meal, sugar and shredded coconut and orange zest in a large bowl. 4 Beat the egg whites with the salt and vanilla to soft peaks. 5 Fold the whites into the dry ingredients. Depending upon the consistency of the ground almonds, you may need to add either a little water or a little more almond meal to arrive at the correct consistency for cookie batter, it should be stiff enough to scoop with an ice cream scoop and hold its shape. 6 Scoop the mixture onto the parchment. 7 Bake for approximately 30 minutes or until the cookies are slightly golden, check after 20 minutes. Makes about 50 cookies Bon Appetit! See more at: http://www.rancholapuerta.com/category/recipes/
Photo Credit: Rancho La Puerta
42 BellaMia August 2015
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Food for Thought
Ten Tips to Overcoming Sugar Kat Maeda, CHHC o you want to look your sexiest, be your healthiest and have beautiful skin? Get rid of processed sugar! And, limit natural sugars, too. Overeating sugar – processed or natural - is not good for the body or your face. Sugar
2. Reduce or eliminate coffee. (Coffee is also highly acidic and often goes hand-in-hand with sugar addictions.) 3. Get physically active – go for a walk or run, bicycle, dance, practice yoga. 4. Get more sleep, rest, and relaxation.
in the bloodstream attaches to proteins, producing new
5. Limit bread products and eliminate fat-free or low-fat
enzymes – harmful ones that break down collagen and
elastin. Oh, no! That means sagging skin and wrinkles! Sugar also exacerbates acne and rosacea. Let’s be clear: we need sugar. Our body cannot live without it. Our body converts carbohydrates, including fruit and starchy foods such as bread, pasta and rice, as well
6. Include probiotics to support the good bacteria in your gut. 7. Replace processed and artificial sweeteners with natural ones like raw honey, Grade A or B maple syrup, dates,
as processed sugar, into glucose in the small intestine.
lucuma, and stevia.
Glucose is the body’s primary source of energy. As glucose
8. Experiment with sweet spices: Coriander, cinnamon,
is absorbed into the blood stream, it is distributed and used by our cells, muscles and organs to give them the energy they need to carry out all of their functions. So what’s wrong with processed sugar if our body needs glucose? Extra energy is required by the body to digest processed sugar, robbing the body of precious minerals and vitamins in the process. In addition, as the body works to metabolize refined sugar, it uses stored nutrients, like magnesium, to neutralize the toxic metabolites released in the process. These toxins destroy the respiration process of the cells. Refined sugar causes inflammation, which can put the brain and nervous system at risk for degenerative
nutmeg, cloves and cardamom will naturally sweeten your foods and reduce cravings. 9. Detox your body to jump start kicking your cravings to the curb. 10. Find sweetness in non-food ways: All cravings are not necessarily a signal that your body requires sugar. Cravings often have a psychological component. By identifying the psychological causes of food cravings and substituting lifestyle or relationship adjustments accordingly, you can find balance and take charge of your sugar addiction. When life itself becomes sweet enough, your sweet cravings will greatly reduce.
disease. Sugar also contributes to overly acidic blood
Before you panic, you don’t have to cut out all sweets from
knocking our pH out of balance. So, you want to eliminate
your life! Choose fruits for desserts, especially those
processed sugar, but how do you say no when you suffer
with a low glycemic value like berries. A bowl of fresh
raspberries with a couple tablespoons of coconut milk and
My Ten Top Tips To Overcoming Sugar Cravings: 1. Drink lots of water. 48 BellaMia August 2015
topped with shaved dark chocolate is divine. Eat sweet vegetables. Like to bake? Nearly all of your favorite recipes can be adapted by swapping out the empty calories from
sugar with calories that have some nutrient value to offer
With the hot summer evenings of August and September,
like the natural sugars mentioned above. The good news
who wouldn’t enjoy a frozen treat? Instead of sugary ice
is you can have your cake and eat it too. The bad news is,
cream, make this quick n’ easy Superfoods Spiced Peach
even the “healthier” sugars need to be limited. So, make
having something sweet a once-in-a-while treat instead of a habit.
Kat Maeda, CHHC www.katmaeda.com
Superfoods Spiced Peach Frozen-Yogurt Ingredients
all ingredients, pushing down sides of blender as
1 ½ cups plain organic Greek yogurt
necessary to form a creamy mixture. Stop blender.
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
2. Add frozen peaches. Switch machine to start and
3-4 Tbsp. pure maple syrup, Grade A or Grade B
use tamper to continually press ingredients into
2 Tbsp. lucuma powder
blades. Blend until mostly creamy leaving some
1 tsp. maca powder
chunks of peaches in mixture. Avoid over blending
1/8 – 1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg (depending on taste)
as mixture will become runny.
6 cups frozen organic peach slices
3. Scoop into dessert dishes. Sprinkle with additional nutmeg as desired. Serve immediately.
(Store leftovers in sealed freezer container. To serve,
1. Place yogurt, vanilla extract, maple syrup, nutmeg,
let sit out to soften before scooping.)
lucuma and maca powders in Vitamix or other
high-speed blender. Blend on low to evenly combine
Food for Thought
Experience beautiful from the inside out Kellie Valenti appiness and confidence are the
that will satiate, satisfy and heal your body. This includes
prettiest things you can wear. -
fermented foods or drinks like bone broth, healthy
Taylor Swift As women, we aren’t often taught that it’s okay to love ourselves from the inside out, most of the time, it’s the other way around. What if we learned to nourish our bodies, our minds, our hearts, and our souls instead of starving ourselves of love, affection and true desire? Because I focus on gut health, my perspective is slightly different when it comes to feeding our bodies. Part of
saturated fats, and properly prepared grains. Feed your mind: Keep a positive mindset. Focus on what you have and not on what you don’t, and the same goes for your body. Focusing on the attributes is far more productive and sexy than constantly disliking what you perceive that you lack. Maintain healthy confidence: This starts with an attitude that comes from within. When you feel beautiful and confident, your whole body follows suit.
this also means feeding our mind and spirit. It’s a whole
Great sleep: We make better decisions, improves our
package. Not just the outer physical being, but the inner
ability to handle stress, improve our physical health,
beautiful being, too!
improve our immune system, increases our energy, we
What if you could wave a magic wand and change anything
have sharper concentration and it improves our memory.
about yourself that you could? What would be your wish?
Don’t focus on all the things you don’t have or compare
For many it’s the challenge of being a certain shape or
yourself to others. Your sister or best friend might be the
size, or having the right color hair or eyes or perceiving
healthiest around and yet be so shy and backwards that
themselves as pretty enough.
she doesn’t live life.
I propose something different. Let’s focus on feeling great
If you lack health, change it. Be willing to learn what you
from the inside out. When we are in balance and harmony,
don’t know and get the help you need. When you focus on
we feel confident and beautiful. When we celebrate our
your inside being, other things emerge.
true beauty, we are happy, sexy and the whole package is attractive to everyone. You become a magnet. Beauty comes in many forms. For fun and happiness, let’s focus on what we can do to help our inner beauty ooze outward. Practice daily self-care: Items like journaling, meditation,
The most profound changes are:
Glowing skin Increased energy Less wrinkles
nature walks, and listening to music are great examples of
loving our self and quieting our heart, soul and mind while
connecting to our true self. Nourish your body: Eat healthy, nutrient-dense foods 50 BellaMia August 2015
Better sex life
When you feel and look great, all by-products enjoying
You are the most beautiful person in the whole world.
great health, you share it with others. It’s impossible not
Don’t see the lack, see the bounty. See the mold that is ever
changing. See the creation that is ever evolving.
My own personal opinion is one of gratitude for the walk
I celebrate you and the beauty that is waiting to emerge
I’ve been given and the one I chose to step into. I am not
from the inside out.
without having had my share of challenges. It’s all how you perceive the handling them.
Kellie Valenti www.livelifeyearsyounger.com
I’ve done my share of kicking and screaming and also my share of bad choices. It all boils down to when we believe in ourselves enough to make the necessary changes we need to make for one reason only:
LLLL Liii Yeerr YYYnnnn Naaarrrrr It's not about stopping the aging process, it's about NOT getting old!
Over 70+ million people suffer from digestive disorders in the US alone. Bone broth, fermented veggies/drinks are healing foods.
Visit www.LiveLifeYearsYounger.com to learn more 51
India On My Mind Rebecka Eggers
“Life shouldn’t be so melancholy.” – K.D. Lang This is what comes to my mind when I think about things like the Delhi rape case, which is now so famous that it needs no explanation. It also leaps into my thoughts when I consider a recent story about Indian women singled out as witches and abused (sometimes to death) by their own families and communities. Ditto child marriage, menstrual taboos…
Melancholy literally means a “depression of spirit.” Life shouldn’t be such a depression of spirit!
Deepika reminds her hypothetical suitor that he is her choice, she is not his privilege. More than anything, this video speaks to the right of a woman to be her own unique
India seems to be recognizing this and working to open up
and fully expressed self and to be treasured for it and for
her own powerful choices.
In fact, some powerful and innovative movements are
Perhaps the men of India are listening. Another video
emerging in India that spark my hope and inspire my soul.
recently came across my screen. In it a group of men
India is the home of the #VogueEmpower campaign, a program recently sponsored by Vogue India (in celebration of its seventh anniversary). It aims to challenge gender
surrounded a woman and protected her from a would be male assailant. The video declared in its title: “Every Religion Protects Women, Protecting Women Is Religion.”
stereotypes and to combat violence against women. Vogue
If the men of India are not listening, India has an answer
asked major influencers and ordinary people alike to
for that too: The Gulabi Gang (The Pink Gang), a vigilante
“make a pledge that will change a woman’s life. “
justice women’s group that settles disputes, holds law
Among the Vogue Empower offerings is a very well know production staring Deepika Padukone (directed by Homi Adajania) called, My Choice. This video is a powerful declaration of female body and heart autonomy. Deepika speaks directly to any man who might pursue her. She declares, “My body, my mind, my choice.” She goes on to address a range of decision points such as marriage choice, the context of sexual activity, sexual orientation, and even the time she comes home.
enforcement accountable and protects women, just to name a few of their activities. The Gulabi Gang wears pink saris and carries big sticks. They know how to use them too! The leader of the Gulabi Gang is Sampat Pal, an Indian woman born to a low caste and into a life of poverty. Married off at twelve, she rose to power against the odds and through her own fearlessness. She once beat members of the local police force with her stick. Are you starting to feel inspired too?
52 BellaMia August 2015
Truthfully, the substance of what we are observing here
Deepika as a woman of privilege who is out of touch with
India, insulated from risk and in touch with the Western
When I set out to write this article, I imagined that I would
values of feminism.
write a piece on the cultural context of the tragedies
It is equally easy to dismiss the suffering and the
besetting Indiaâ€™s women and of the counter movements
downtrodden as victims of poverty and poor circumstance.
that have sprung up in response. But as I journeyed more
But upon further investigation, privilege, Western values,
deeply into the material, I realized that I wasnâ€™t seeing
and even poverty fall away as the explanation for the
something uniquely Indian in these stories, but rather
difference between the powerful and the beleaguered, the
something uniquely human. In other words, India started
thriving and the traumatized.
to look a lot like a microcosm of the rest of the world.
Sampat Pal and her Gulabi gang tear all arguments
I started to see a composite picture of womanhood. In the
of privilege and poverty to shreds. They have claimed
end, I saw that, as a whole, we (women) are rising faster
their power and their bodily autonomy from a very low
and falling harder than I can even absorb. This is true in
circumstance of poor economic and caste position. In
India and it is true all over the globe.
fact, their leader is not even literate. Whatever advantage
The contrasts between women like Sampat Pal and Deepika Padukone on the one hand and the large
Sampat Pal has, she has carved from within her own heart and from the stone of her own courage.
collection of abused and battered women on the other are
It makes you think about the inevitability of things doesnâ€™t
striking. At first glance, it is easy to dismiss someone like
It appears things are not so hard and fast after all. It also
My exploration of India has reminded me that our ability
seems that outcomes are more dependent on the character
to rise from the ashes depends a great deal upon what
and will of individuals than we might have imagined.
happens inside of us and upon how we view the challenges
Of course, I do not mean to dismiss systemic influences
and I certainly donâ€™t mean to blame the victim. As women,
Sampat Pal frames the issues through the lens of
we live in a global system that does its best to put us in our
personal responsibility and power. She approaches her
place. Things like the Delhi rape case often do happen and
circumstances and fashions her solutions from that
these things are largely outside of our immediate control
as a matter of physical reality. So, while I acknowledge our often precarious and even tragic circumstances as women, I also aim to inspire hope. We do not have to simply lie down and accept what looks like an ironclad fate wrought by systemic imperatives that appear larger than life. Our participation and the nature of that participation matters. MORE is possible more often than we imagine. As I think about achieving this MORE, two truths come to mind: A victim is never responsible for ending her own experience of abuse. At the same time, when we experience victimization, we are often the only ones with the will to put a stop to it.
54 BellaMia August 2015
So will I. Many thanks to Susan Jacob Kokura, a free spirited South Indian woman residing in America, for her translations and for her collaboration in providing cultural context and review.Â Rebecka Eggers www.rebeckaeggers.com
I Am Here to Stay Mia Saenz
EFF this! Wait, let me back up five minutes. I crashed. I had allowed someone to gravely injure my psyche. I was deeply wounded to the point of destruction, of allowing self-sabotage. The hate I felt for myself will not leave. I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I couldn’t breathe. I needed to escape, I needed to hide. The only place I can re-gather myself is in the shower. I saw myself in the full-length mirror - I was naked and exposed. My soul felt raped, and my body was weak. I felt disgust. I didn’t think I could ever trust again. I kept hearing someone say,
In an instant, and without my permission, my body took a deep breath. I began to feel my self-love reach up from the depth within me. The words started to pour out of me as fluidly as the warm and steady stream of water from the showerhead. “I love you, Mia. I love you, Mia. I LOVE YOU, MIA!” I was in shock. What was happening, why was I hearing this? What made me say that? Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around myself. I could feel my upper arms and shoulders as though I was being hugged. I was hugging myself, a technique I’ve learned and also taught.
“Get away from me.” I realized these words were audibly
I think to myself, “Wow this feels so nice.” My inner voice
coming out of my mouth.
repeats, “I love you, Mia. I have you, girl. I always have.”
“Who am I to think I am beautiful or attractive? If the
I began to feel stronger and moved my hands across my
world looked deeper they would see I am ugly.” Fear had
naked body gently feeling my breasts, tummy and legs.
set in, “I will never work again in my industry as a self-love
Again I felt surprised by my actions and even more so that
/ body-love coach.” An even deeper fear had come to me,
I felt my skin as silky, soft and smooth. This felt so soft,
“You cannot be who you were. You were just taken down by
and rather sensual. I encouraged myself, “I am not ugly,
that man. Let the world see you now, naked in the shower,
I am beautiful! I know I am loved, and that simply was a
crying like a baby.” My mind raced.
huge blow to my ego. I am still me, and I have a God given
As the warm water beat down upon my naked body, I had
right to continue to share who I am with the world.”
become aware of my panicked breathing. My oxygen was
In that moment a major shift had occurred. My dignity and
limited, thus creating more distress. I thought to myself,
destiny were reborn. I understood the magical knowledge
“This is it. I’m slipping away. I’m not going to recover.”
that I am queen of my existence, and that no one can take
All I want to feel is the water pouring over my body. I feel
as though the water is the only thing that will cleanse me after what had just taken place.
I am here to stay, thus my opening line. www.miasaenz.com
56 BellaMia August 2015
Your Size is Beautiful Michelle Alva, PT Our bodies love to move and exercise at any size. We feel uplifted and lighter when we dance, walk, do aerobic exercise and swim. Did you know movement is natural for us since we are made up of trillions of vibrating molecules? Yet many of us would not dare walk into a fitness class because we don’t accept our bodies or feel good inside. We have created beliefs that our body is not beautiful and are
A voice inside said “I Love and Accept My Body, Size and Shape Now.” By the end of the 8 class series, I was dancing in a bratop, feeling alive and sexy, and comfortable revealing my tummy. Most of all, I felt a renewed sense of love and joy in BEING in my body. Here are some tips on how to embody self-acceptance regardless of our size and shape so we can do what we love:
so self-conscious that we prevent ourselves from the very
Accept that you are a gift from Our Creator. You
activities that enrich our lives and connect us to ourselves
were created into form, and therefore you are
at the deepest level.
divine and perfect. There is a mysterious force of
When we do not accept our bodies just as we are, we feel chronically stressed. How we think and perceive about our
creation that designed you, and simply because you exist, you are so loved and deserving of love.
body’s effects our stress levels, our hormones, and how we
Acknowledge that your body size is perfectly
made for you. The only way to create a new possibility and create optimal health is to choose
When I attended my very first belly dance class, our teacher asked us to lift our shirts up so we can see our bellies and better learn the moves. My instant reaction was to freeze and look for the exit door. This made me aware of my own uncomfortableness with my body and my own body self-acceptance issues (mind you, I was thinner back then!). Every week was an opportunity to shimmy off the veils of illusion that somehow my body was not worthy of dancing sacred and sexy. As I rolled and undulated my body to Middle Eastern music, I gradually embraced a new selfperception that pleasure came from within! Watching other women 20-30 pounds heavier than me smiling in sheer pleasure, gave me permission and inspired me to shed my own self-judgements and re-connect to my body. 58 BellaMia August 2015
to feel relaxed and welcomed in our own skin. If we do not accept our weight, our look and our shape, our body will feel stressed out and this will make us hold on not only to physical weight, but also to emotional weight. When we stress out, we hold, we don’t grow and we do not release. Connect to your breath throughout it’s full range of motion. Take the deepest, fullest, most expansive breath and notice how your belly can expand. Feel your expansive nature, and love the whole range of motion. Appreciate the fullness of your breath and this will automatically cause you to appreciate the whole you.
Touch and massage the parts that you accept the least. Choose a part of your body that you do not feel comfortable showing or touching and place your hand over that part, it might be a an outer thigh or your belly or maybe your upper arms. Feel love and acceptance for this part of your body as you create loving clock wise circles with medium pressure using your palm. Notice how it feels to lovingly caress this part that you do not accept in the past. This exercise is so healing. Stay connected to your deep diaphragmatic breaths throughout this exercise as it might cause certain trapped emotions from the past to be released. Hold a space of non-judgmental awareness for yourself. Witness your sensations throughout the day without any need to change how you feel. Be there for yourself as your own best friend, and notice how relaxed you feel. Ask yourself, what do I love to do? Is there something that I would like to try thatâ€™s new and have been postponing because of how my body looks and feels? Write it down and make it a priority in your life! Just do itâ€Ś even if it scares you. Practice feeling comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. Make it ok to feel uncomfortable and scary to try something new. When we change our relationship with our body, and embrace new beliefs that support a more loving life, magic happens. Michelle Alva, PT www.michellealva.com
Erectile dysfunction and why it’s not your fault Susan Jacob-Kokura PharmD
It’s that special night you have been waiting for
act is complete. After ejaculation, the smooth muscle
all week,to spend time with your partner. After
begins to go back to its normal state, which leads to a
the perfect dinner at the trendy hot restaurant
man’s refractory period, or the time he needs to rest
in town, you finally get him back to your place
before having another erection. Anything that interrupts
alone; no kids, no dog just the two of you.
that chain of events, whether it’s neurological, vascular
Your clothes are an afterthought and you’re
or psychological, can interfere with erections. Type 2
excited to show him your sexy new pair of panties. You
diabetes or heart disease can damage blood vessels and
kiss him passionately behind his ear, at the base of his
nerves, while conditions like depression, anxiety and post-
neck, sending chills down his spine. His hands are all over
traumatic stress disorder can affect the brain, all leading
you, while you slowly kiss his chest and stomach on your
way down to undo his belt, and remove his pants eagerly expecting a night of passion… “HUH? !” It’s as if someone pushed pause on your remote control. He can’t get it up? What is happening? How do I react to this situation? Am I not attractive? Is it something I did wrong? What’s going on with him?
ED is one of the most common male sexual problems, affecting an estimated 30 million men in the U.S. and approximately 140 million men worldwide. Although many couples continue to view ED as a sexual issue, in truth, the most common causes are undiagnosed physical conditions such as diabetes, high cholesterol, or even
Well everyone, there is a little something called erectile
the earliest stages of heart disease. Even more often, it
dysfunction (ED) and it is REAL! Sometimes what we say
can be the result of certain medications used to treat
to our partner makes things worse or we get in our own
these conditions, particularly some high blood pressure
heads and blame ourselves. So what if you had a do over
and were able to make things better? Here are some ways to help you cope with your partner’s erectile dysfunction. First, understanding what ED is and how an erection occurs, can help you better cope with the situation. Erectile dysfunction is the inability of a man to achieve or maintain an erection hard enough for sexual intercourse. Erections happen when a man sees, hears, smells, tastes,
There are numerous treatment options available. Encourage healthy discussions with a healthcare provider for the best option. Psychotherapy (counseling) Medications (oral/injectable to the penis)
touches, or thinks about something that stimulates him
Vacuum devices (pumps)
sexually. The brain then sends chemical signals through
nerves that tell smooth muscles in the penis to relax, which allows blood to collect in the organ. The blood is
Here are some ways to help you cope with your partner’s
then trapped in the penis, which stiffens until the sexual
60 BellaMia August 2015
IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT! ED does not indicate a lack of
Everything looks better on TV! The little blue pill
desire or attraction to you. Stay positive and don’t assign
commercials make it look so easy that if he can’t get an
blame; discuss what you and your partner want, need and
erection, a quick pop of a pill is the solution. In a matter of
how to achieve it together.
seconds he is back to his old wild romantic self. The reality
The more you know the more you will be able to support your partner. Knowledge is power. Learn as much as you
is that pills take time to work and often require planning your intimate moments in advance.
can about ED. Have open communication about the best
It takes two to tango! You may feel distressed or depressed
treatment option(s) that fits your lifestyles.
over your man’s situation. It’s OK to seek counseling to
ED is a common and treatable condition. Be supportive of
help you get through this rough time.
your partner by being a champion for change. Encourage
Erectile dysfunction affects both partners in a relationship.
proper diet, quitting smoking, limiting alcohol intake and
Be empathetic; be the powerful she-goddess that you
getting plenty of sleep. If your partner is agreeable, go with
are and work to help him feel confident to overcome this
him to his doctors’ appointments.
treatable condition. Sex can still be mind blowing; you
There are multiple treatment options. If one does not work, do not give up! Encourage your partner to try another option. Try alternative techniques in the bedroom. Find other ways to give and receive pleasure without pressuring your partner to perform.
may just have to find a new route to get there! Having open and honest communication with one another is the best way to create a solid foundation for a healthy sexual relationship. Susan Jacob-Kokura PharmD
FAT Rebecka Eggers
In this memory I am daring to confront, I am 16 years
WORTHLESS does not care if I am thin or fat. If I am thin,
old. I haven’t eaten in days. To be honest, I am not sure
it whispers that I am just one slice of cheesecake away
when I last even had something to drink. I have a dollar
from a pariah. When I am fat, WORTHLESS is silent. There
bill up my noise and a line of cheap cocaine knock off (aka
is nothing left to say. I am worthlessness on display.
methamphetamine) set out in a neat and tidy little row on a jagged piece of mirror.
As a woman, I have lived my entire life moving along this continuum. Like the slider on a slide rule I have traveled
1,2,3 the line disappears taking with it my relationships,
between fat and thin. Somewhere between visible shame
the last of my innocence and most importantly, my hunger.
and silent desperation I have multiplied and divided my
I am willing to pay the former price in exchange for the
value over and over again. This is what it has meant to be
latter benefit. In other words, I am willing to do anything
in a female body.
to get rid of my desire for food. Why?
Until now! Lately I feel like Diana Ross, “Upside down…you turn me
People have begun to bandy about a certain word in my
inside out and round and round…upside down you’re
presence and I will do anything to make it stop. To be
honest, the word is more like a paragraph or a novel. It speaks volumes in just one syllable. FAT. Can you feel the magnitude of that word? To my young self, it felt like an anvil falling out of the sky and landing on my
Suddenly my world is full of women who are breaking the mold and redefining what it means to be beautiful. To be frank, after so many years of being trapped in the mirror reflection of my shame, I just don’t even know quite how to process the contrary information.
head with a very loud thud. Miraculously, I lived through
When I see someone like Tess Holliday (plus sized model
its arrival, but no one, least of all me, is quite sure how.
signed by MiLK Management) challenging the status quo
Truth be told, it was a Pyrrhic victory. I was alive. But I
and daring to live her dreams in a size 22 body, it’s a little
would never be the same.
like watching someone break the space time continuum. I
In FAT’s wake, another word came barreling through. WORTHLESS. WORTHLESS arrived in the form of a terrible catch 22. As words go, it is far crueler than its predecessor. There is no escaping the heavy hand of worthlessness.
may live through it, but I will never be the same. I don’t know what else to do. So, I breathe into the confusion. I close my eyes, feel my world turn upside down and let the fabric of time tear wide open. I am now sitting on the couch with my 16 year old self. I
62 BellaMia August 2015
got here just in time. She has just finished rolling up that
For a moment this younger version of me isnâ€™t any more
dollar bill and cutting out her line. I have a copy of People
sure what to do than I am. She is a quick study though. She
magazine in my hands. I ask her to take a look. There she
grabs my hand, tosses the mirror in the garbage and walks
witnesses Tess Holliday beaming joy and sensuality from
us both into a new reality. The last thing I hear is the sound
the cover (in a leotard and tights no less).
of the mirror shattering against the bottom of the rubbish
For a moment, 16 year old me is caught between two worlds. The word FAT echoes through her mind louder than ever before. WORTHLESS does its little dance of misery too. But today there is something unsteady in the steps. The image of a fat girl daring to own her happiness
bin. We are free. Rebecka Eggers www.rebeckaeggers.com
and insist upon her fulfillment is strong medicine.
Appreciate Your Body for All It Does Dr. Mary E. Pritchard, Ph.D., HHC
Your body is a miracle. Your organs, tissues,
I love you belly. I love your extra padding – I know you’ve
muscles, fluids, bones, teeth and joints all work
got me covered when I get too busy to eat. I love that you
together to keep you alive and functioning. Your
digest my food and send the energy to all the cells of my
body does hundreds – thousands - of things
body so I can do what I want to do each day. I love your
each day to keep you alive – it breathes, digests
scars, for they tell of your struggles and of your triumph.
food, grows new cells, repairs damaged cells,
Of all the surgeries you’ve been through. I love your cute
purifies itself of toxins, creates the energy you need to function, allows you to see and hear, keeps your body temperature steady, lets you walk upright. And yet, when we look in the mirror, all we see are flaws…
little innie belly button. I love you back. You are strongly, silently supportive. You help me stand and sit up straight and keep good posture. I love when you ache because you are letting me know that
Here’s your challenge: make a list of everything you don’t
you need a little TLC and that I’ve been burning the candle
like about your body and then transform each complaint
at both ends again and need to take a break. I love when
into a positive. After you’re done, write a love letter to your
you protest so loudly that I have to call my chiropractor for
body and send some love to all of those areas you tend to
she takes excellent care of us.
be critical of. I have a few examples below. I can’t wait to see what you come up with! Hello gorgeous! I love you feet. You are so supportive and keep me centered and grounded. I love that I broke my heel twice in one year and that it is so slow to heal. You, lovely heel, made me slow down when I wanted to ramp it up to the speed of
I love you neck. You do such a good job of holding up our head! I love your wrinkles, for they tell your age – like rings on a tree. They tell of your life experiences, your struggles, and your triumphs. I love when you ache and let me know I need to move you in some direction other than looking forward at my computer screen. I love that when you get tight, you still pop and release and feel better.
light. You made me take a much-needed break. For that I
I love you face. I love your wrinkles, for they tell our story
– of all the good – and not so good – times we’ve spent
I love you legs. You are so strong and get me where I need to go. I love your cellulite for it reminds me to take care of myself. I love your muscle tone for it reminds me of just how powerful you are. I love you butt. I love your stretch marks for they tell the story of where you’ve been and how I’ve grown. I love the way you jiggle. You provide me with such a good cushion to sit on. And I love, love, love the way you look in jeans. 64 BellaMia August 2015
together. I love your sun spots for they remind me of when we were in Hawaii. I love that you still get acne at age 41. It makes me feel young again. I love that you have smile lines. It lets me know I’ve lived a good, happy life. I love you ears. I love that you are so big so I can hear everything I want to. I love that you too get blackheads and pimples, just like my face. You let me know not to forget to take care of you.
I hope you too will take some time today to celebrate you
Dr. Mary Pritchard
and your body. You (and your body) are truly a miracle.
A Whole Life Makeover in The Face of Major Life Change Edie Weinstein
hen you hear the word ‘makeover,’
My natural questions were: “How did it happen, and what
what comes to mind? Likely some
can I do to prevent it from re-occurring?” I began a deep
visible physical changes. Maybe a
exploration of the signs and symptoms that lead to my
gorgeous new wardrobe, dazzling jewelry,
heart attack which I had ignored for over a year. I was a
or a fresh and funky hairstyle.
ticking time bomb. One thing to know is that women’s
But what happens when life deals us a hand of cards that calls on us to transform internally? An opportunity presented itself on June 12, 2014, which I consider my ‘second birthday’. On the way home from the gym following a normal workout, I was overtaken by pain and tightening in my jaw, as well as torrential sweats that rivaled the most potent menopausal hot flash. Adding to the trifecta was searing heart burn pain across my back
cardiac symptoms are different from those of men. For most of us, it is not the crushing left side chest pain and arm tingling. These include sleeplessness and fatigue, palpitations and arrhythmia, dizziness, blood pressure fluctuations, as well as anxiety to which I am not normally prone. I had been working a dozen or more hours a day and sleeping likely half as many.
I needed to face the reality that I had many risk factors:
Immediately, I recognized them as symptoms of a heart
My mother died of Congestive Heart Failure and my sister
attack. Consummate co-dependent, I didn’t call 911, but
has had three heart attacks in her 50’s; two prior to mine,
instead drove myself to the ER. It must have been oxygen
and one recently.
deprivation that had me making such an irresponsible choice, since I endangered others on the road as well as myself. I stumbled through the doors and calmly told the
Although I ate a mostly vegetarian diet, it included prepackaged foods that were high in sodium and cholesterol.
woman behind the desk “I think I’m having a heart attack.”
I placed myself under debilitating and stressful conditions
Immediately I was whisked into a wheelchair and brought
in my personal and professional life.
up to the cardiac cath lab, where a stent was inserted into my heart. The surgeon brought me the before and after pictures of my heart. The first picture of my artery
I was a workaholic. I had set very high expectations for myself and I believed that I needed to prove my value with
looked like a broken tree branch, while the second picture
my everyday performance.
appeared to be rather perky. He admonished, “Don’t let
Over several decades as a social worker in the psychiatric
this happen again.”
field, I had also been exposed to second and third hand smoke on the job.
66 BellaMia August 2015
I knew I had a choice that could literally spell the
Fitness: I engage in gym time which started out as cardiac
difference between life and death. During my recovery
rehab 3-5 days a week and walking between sessions.
in the hospital, I had conversation with a nurse who had come in to take my vital signs. She encouraged me to completely recover first, and use everything I had experienced leading up to, during and after my heart
Sleep: I once referred to sleep as ‘highly over-rated’, but now it has become an essential 8 hour nightly routine, with daytime napping, if necessary.
attack, to help educate other women. The adaptations I
Shifting my schedule: This came as a result of a well-timed
consciously make are not always easy, but have become
career opportunity that enables me to write from home.
integral to my self-care. This is my new “normal”. These implementations should be used as prevention by
Relationship changes: Boundary setting and learning the
everyone. Here are some examples:
‘power of no’ sustains my mental health.
Nutrition: I eat organic fresh foods, prepared in a lower
Receptivity and vulnerability: Allowing others to assist me,
fat way than the standard American diet. I avoid foods
rather than being so fiercely independent.
high in sodium and cholesterol. I use olive or coconut oil
I have transformed from Wonder Woman who practiced
instead of butter, and choose to bake or grill as a means of cooking.
savior behavior, to the Bionic Woman who has an artificial body part that keeps her ticker counting out the moments
Consumer awareness: I read packaging labels, which may
of life. I hold all of them precious.
mean that shopping might take twice as long.
Edie Weinstein www.opti-mystical.com
How to Love How You Look (No Matter What) Claire Sierra
he body and how we look is such a source of
to women who radiate Beauty from their Soul—often
conflict for many women. It seems we can’t
regardless of external appearance. And as we celebrate the
live with it and we can’t live without it. We are
rich variety of our sizes, shapes, and colors—a veritable 31
compellingly drawn to beauty: in ourselves, in
flavors of the Feminine—we all naturally shine.
others, in things, in life. Sometimes women are scorned as superficial for this pursuit, but I’ve come to recognize this as an intrinsic soul quality of the Feminine, which is why we are so enchanted by it. Many of us are blind to our own beauty, though. We’ve been conditioned to believe so many things about our own value and worth—many of which are not so great, unfortunately. We see beauty and we emulate it, trying to capture that ineffable essence. We think if we copy someone, we’ll feel how she looks: joyful, loved, and valued. Women are communal beings, so what others think of us matters. (It’s a safety/protective mechanism.) We’re so focused on external opinion that we don’t see our own beauty and light—especially when it doesn’t match the cultural ideals. We develop a mental list of how we don’t
Your authentic beauty power comes from knowing your uniqueness from the inside out and really loving yourself for it. When you embody your core sense of self—owning who you really are and why you’re here—then your true beauty unfolds like the radiant flower you are. And as you embrace this, you grow to love and value yourself as an aspect of the Divine in feminine form. You’ll exude confidence and power from the inside. You become luscious and alive. But when we don’t know or feel this about ourselves, we deny it, and suffer. We hide, rejecting our true value. We dim ourselves down. It’s safe, not luminous. Instead, exude your native beauty by connecting with your Essence and feel fully alive.
“measure up:” too fat/thin, dark/pale, tall/short, loud/
But how do we tap into that source and reveal that inner
quiet…the list goes on.
Then we turn ourselves into long-term self-improvement
Your Essence is who you are when you are just being
projects. We’re outraged by the barrage of Photoshopped
yourself, shining your light. It is not learned, it’s
artifice surrounding us, and yet we unconsciously still
authentically you, aligned with your Feminine Soul. As you
cling to stereotypes that are unrealistic and unhealthy.
awaken this Goddess self, your radiance shines from the
Fortunately, this awareness is starting to shift and women
are questioning: What is MY innate expression and worth?
Your essence might be innately joyful and light, soft
Where’s my authentic beauty? We are magnetically drawn
and sweet or piercingly insightful. This may translate
68 BellaMia August 2015
into looking elegant, retro, romantic, organic, classic or
5-10 minutes first thing in the morning to set your day in
athletic. No matter what you are doing, you are radiating
this essence in your own unique signature style.
Connect with this Divine She in meditation, prayer, or
As you connect with this sacred inner beauty, you feel
sensual movement. Breathe and be in your body. Your body
different…empowered and alive. Your skin glows, your
is a blessing. Feel the radical potency that stirs beneath all
body hums with vitality and sparkle. You become naturally
the busy, scheduled, doing of everyday life. A wholesome,
gorgeous, regardless of external opinion.
sexy, revitalized you is there, waiting to be awakened.
Soul beauty translates into confidence, feeling at ease in
When you connect with your Soul Beauty, from the inside
your own skin, being okay with who you are: relaxed, open,
out, you radiate a light that is magnificent, palpable
safe and unafraid. At first it may happen in glimmers of
and pure. As you inhabit your innate radiance, don’t be
moments, but a daily practice can expand into a lifestyle.
surprised to find others naturally drawn to the compelling
Then you’re no longer driven by cultural stereotypes of
and sacred power of the Feminine. Life thrives in this
how you should look, and living from the Truth of your
place, it’s juicy and delicious. From here a world of ease,
grace and flow is revealed. Let’s dance together there.
Nice idea--how do we do that?
Feed the Feminine First. Take time every day to connect
to the juicy aliveness that is your feminine power. Spend
Experiencing Peace and Possibility in Your Daily Life as You are Present to Beauty Joy Holland
eauty exists in each space in world. There are a myriad of reasons why a person might not see it: rushing from commitment to commitment; filling space with clutter (or being in spaces full of clutter); doubting the existence of beauty
Experience and feel more beauty. release internal blocks and energy not resonant with beauty. It’s important to note that this natural expansion unfolds without the exhaustion and struggle associated with
in certain spaces, so not looking for it there; deflecting
manipulating external variables. And, each of these
the experience of beauty due to feeling ‘undeserving,
benefits can be experienced, this moment. Doesn’t that
unworthy, not enough’; saving the experience of beauty as
a ‘reward’ or for a special occasion.
How does this work? As you ‘search for’ beauty, your mind
There isn’t any judgment here – we have each experienced
is engaged is connecting your inner essence energy with
rushing, clutter and fear. Understanding this pattern gives
something external. As you celebrate beauty, your energy
you the opportunity to choose something different that
naturally opens. When your body feels connected and your
enhances the quality of your life.
energy feels open, your being is at peace because your
Energetically, what you choose to focus your attention upon, grows; thus, choosing to see and celebrate beauty brings the energies of beauty into your life. When you train your mind and your senses to accept, see and feel that which is beautiful to you, as you move through your day, you naturally: strengthen your connection with world.
natural reactive mode is neutralized. From this centered space of empowerment, you are able to see, and open to, possibility that your mind might not even have known existed. All of this, because you chose to see, and celebrate, the beauty already available in your space! For example, I teach presence through photography. If a person simply browses through my photographs, what
shift your energy from reactive mode into peace and
they will see are radiant sunsets, colorful flower blossoms
and soaring birds with a backdrop of gorgeous sky. What
improve the quality of your experience of life (because you feel connected and peaceful).
they will feel is peace and possibility. I like to share the story of the photograph because often
increase your desire to be here on earth, enjoying the
that colorful flower blossom is tucked into a container
in a parking lot, the sun is peeking through storm clouds
70 BellaMia August 2015
and the bird is attempting to fly in heavy winds. Knowing
I recommend that you begin with something familiar to
this doesn’t make my photos ‘less real or less beautiful’
you like your favorite colors and textures. For example if
and reminds us that beauty can be found – and peace and
you love blue, look around the space you are in for all of
possibility felt - in the most unexpected, ‘less than optimal’
the shades of blue.
spaces. Having a visual reminder is a powerful resource for the moments that doubt and uncertainty are present.
When this has become easy for you, you may expand your practice to include slightly unfamiliar variables. For
There are two components to this practice of seeing and
example, look at what is next to the color blue in your
celebrating beauty: physical and energetic.
space to see if that might be beautiful to you as well.
What physically feels beautiful to a person might include
Last, you may challenge yourself to find beauty in spaces
variables like color and composition. What energetically
you would least expect. For example, to find the color blue
feels beautiful to a person might include variables like
in a crowded restaurant.
natural elements and texture. (I like to include both because we are physical and energetic beings.) I invite you to ask yourself, “What would be beautiful and what would feel beautiful to me in this space?’ Then, listen closely to the answer, without judging it – simply hearing it.
Eventually, with lots of practice, you may see and appreciate the beauty in everything while feeling peace and possibility in daily life. Joy Holland www.facetsofjoy.com
Look around the space you are in and notice what your heart has asked you to. Then take the time to share a bit of gratitude for all that is there.
Beautiful Nadia Krauss
We as women have bought into a
beautiful, and strong, and you need to give yourself
collective conditioning that our bodies
permission to receive this truth by inviting self love and
are not beautiful and worthy unless
we look a certain kind of way. We have cut ourselves off of the innate beauty and wisdom
Make the decision to open and nourish your heart. Follow
that our bodies carry within. We have forgotten that our
through with nurturing and patience. Cultivate your
body is the spirit vehicle through this earth experience.
senses. Really start living within your body in a conscious effort to experience life fully AWAKE through your senses.
We have fallen asleep to the truth that our bodies are
Start taking nature walks. While walking with Mother
brilliant, beautiful, and good! Just as they are. Now.
Earth train your senses to see beauty, harmony, divine order, and organic structure in all that you see in nature.
We are constantly confronted and bombarded with images
During those walks inhabit your body. Stop condemning it.
of Superwomen, Supermodels, and Superstars. This very
Stop treating it like it is a ‘thing’ separate from you.
specific kind of environment breeds disconnect to self to the point of causing us too be blind to our own unique
Make the conscious choice to really live in your body as
beauty. This then turns into always comparing ourselves to
a soul. Open your heart to the goodness your body has
other women, never feeling good enough. We feel shame,
brought you. Infuse your body with love, as is, right now.
a consistent background sense that there is something
Embrace being beautiful in the moment.
wrong with us. And a sense of devaluation, a feeling of not being loved unless we pertain to a certain kind of ideal.
waken your senses : seeing, smelling, tasting, feeling,
And then there comes this persistent sense of guilt for
hearing and knowing. Connect to your sensuality.
not being able to embody the Supermodel, Superwoman, Superstar status quo.
Begin to see the true beauty of your body and realize that without it you would not be having this earth experience.
Don’t you think it is about time to stop this insanity?
Learn to feel grateful for your Body Beautiful.
Enough already! This does not mean you have to stay overweight or unfit. It is a vicious cycle of bashing self and body with constant
Yes, you can channel the best version of yourself. However
inner criticizing and bullying. It is time to stop this
you will not become your best self by dishonoring your
madness and reconnect with a body brilliant, a body
beautiful, and a body strong. Yes, YOU are brilliant, 72 BellaMia August 2015
How about you begin aligning with a ‘super’ model version
guidance and then listen. Soul has the power to infuse
that is channeling your highest self and best life?
your body with healing. Be it the spiritual, the mental, the emotional or the physical kind of healing you need.
Buy yourself flowers and smell them, or burn incense or your favorite scented candle. Taste food – really taste it!
Most likely it will be all 4 simultaneously but with a
Chew it at least 20 times and take 20 minutes for your
different focus at different times. Create that sacred space
meal. No matter WHAT you are eating. Celebrate the
within you. Allow yourself to feel beautiful, sensual, sexual,
burger as much as the home cooked meal. Begin there.
empowered, supported, full and nurtured NOW . In your body. As is. And then repeat with me :
Feel into your body. Where can you feel tension, tightness,
I am feminine.
even pain maybe. Give yourself a massage and feel the
I am sensual
tension dissolve. Or possibly book yourself a massage and
I am sexual.
feel your body through the touch of someone else’s hands.
I am powerful.
Listen to the birds outside, the wind in the trees, the
“Don’t ever mistake my kindness for weakness. And don’t
crashing waves of the ocean or the trickling water of the
ever take me for granted.” From the book “Goddess to
the Core : An Inspired Workout to Maximize Your Fitness, Beauty & Power” by Sierra Bender.
Develop this knowing that your body is safe. That you can trust your intuition coming through. You can trust
My ‘book prescription’ for you in this issue. This one will
body sensations that you are feeling. Know that you are
ignite your “Beautiful Me” for sure.
beautiful. Know that soul inhabits your body. How can you not be beautiful?
Nadia Krauss www.happywholesomelife.com
Know that your soul will guide you. Guide you to that which is wounded and hurting and keeping you from feeling 100% beautiful. Start paying attention to your inner
Love “Reach now for the love you so richly deserve. Reach into yourself, for it is in that place apart, behind your heart you will find yourself and love.”
Love or Loneliness Kimberley Heart
If you and I were offered the choice of living a life
victims. We know on many levels that we craft our own
filled with bountiful love, or soul-sucking loneliness,
lives and we love the empowerment that comes with that.
we would choose love every time, wouldn’t we?
So why do we backtrack and deny that if we are lonely we
Horrifically, the answer for too many of us, is
create that as well?
that we would choose loneliness. That choice is
The answer is complex and unique for each of us, yet there
something that we are not alone in; literally
is a common denominator. We are lonely because we fear
millions choose loneliness. There is a pandemic of
that we do not love good enough. Let me say that again.
loneliness and it is damaging far too many of us.
Our fear, that our love is not good enough, is the genesis
When our choice is stated that bluntly, our kneejerk reaction is to deny that we have a choice. If we are lonely, it is not by choice. Oh no, it is not our choice, we argue that we are victims of circumstance, gender, geography,
of our loneliness. Before you build up a head of steam and think of all the reasons that statement can’t be true, be gentle with yourself and sit with it for a moment. How could it be true?
attractiveness—something, anything—is to blame except
You are a talented, smart, kind, person so why are you
the possibility we choose loneliness.
lonely? Could it be that you fear that if you expose yourself
Our bitter and vehement denunciation of the reality that loneliness is a choice doesn’t make it any the less true. We can’t change what we will not face. If we are lonely it is time to face it and end the pain. To end the pain, we must first understand ourselves. Why do we choose loneliness? You and I know we are not 74 BellaMia August 2015
your love will be found wanting? No, no, you rage, “I love beautifully!” And perhaps your do? But your fear is that you do not. My mentor recently reminded me that I am, “… in charge of my reality and therefore in charge of how I live with people, in love or in loneliness.” Well that pretty much
sums it up. It is my choice, your choice, how we live. If we
pain of loneliness keep us from the very love that would
are lonely we create that by the fear choices we make every
end the loneliness.
So what do we do? Ending loneliness begins by facing our
It is time to end the pain. The pain we feel around each
fear of not loving good enough. Be brave and spend an
holiday, or Friday night, or when we see someone laughing
entire day asking yourself the question, “Is this choice
with their child or an old person holding hands with
based on the fact that I ‘fear’ my love is not good enough?”
their spouse at eighty. It is time to end the pain we feel in the middle of the night, alone in our beds staring at the ceiling, or crying ourselves to sleep. It is time to stop telling ourselves that we are fine, we don’t want a romantic relationships, or a best friend. We need to stop lying to ourselves. Loneliness is a worldwide pandemic and it can destroy our capacity to appreciate the wonder and beauty of everyday life. Loneliness can and will shatter our self-trust, our confidence, our creativity, our capacity for success and most certainly damage us to the point where we will not
You are going to be shocked about how many of your decisions that keep you separate from people, from beauty, from nature, from pursuing your passions, are based in your fear that you do not love good enough. Once you realize the truth of that you are more than halfway home to a life where you choose love rather then loneliness. As always, this column is dedicate to you, to your beauty and your courage. The world needs you, it is waiting for you and the beauty of your love. It’s your choice: Love or Loneliness?
I wish you love!
And that is the paradox, the very fear choices we make
on a daily basis that keep us in front of our computers/
TVs/workstations instead of out in the world being our beautiful authentic selves; those fear choices based in the
Is sexual chemistry making you lonely? Tina Bernard
ecently, I was walking along the beach when a handsome shirtless man jogged by. In that split second - as married and the mother of two as I am - the woman in me viscerally responded the man
procreate, and it is a visceral response driven by hormones and scent. Sexual chemistry is about genetics and the immune system and creates super charged desire and hot sex experiences, says Tanja Diamond, a colleague and coach with a background in classical tantra. â€œItâ€™s designed
in him. It was both pleasant and awkward and got me
to make people want to have sex and make babies that
thinking, what is sexual chemistry and how important is it
will be healthy because their parents have an opposite
immunity. It has nothing to do with visuals; it is all about
Most people think of sexual chemistry as the I-wantto-tear-off-your-clothes kind of sexual desire or lust. Sexual chemistry is the fundamental genetic imperative to 76 BellaMia August 2015
pheromones and is experienced through the olfactory system, the skin, and maybe even the trigeminal nerve,â€? she adds.
How powerful is scent to sexual chemistry? Studies
– tender and tough loving care needs – and being able to
confirm what every woman knows: a man’s natural aroma
ask your partner to help fulfill those needs. It has little to
can drive you to sexual distraction. The power of a man’s
do with sex, and “more to do with a super deep connection
natural aroma may also explains why you find yourself
and true presence to one another, safe, deep, soulful
attracted to The Beast – a man so unsuitable, unattractive
connection to each other,” says Diamond.
or unavailable that it makes no sense that you put up with crumbs - his occasional call, getting back together with his ex, waiting ages to propose, etc. Hot sexual chemistry will make even the most intelligent, logical person do crazy things to scratch that itch.
How can you create and nurture Hot Intimacy? It starts with a commitment to the idea that love is something you choose. Love is an action verb. I work with women who are courageous enough to admit that they are lonely and want to be in a relationship. Together, we work to get past their
Curious as ever to understand more, I posed the question,
fears, patterns and stories and they learn how to choose a
“how important is chemistry to you?” to friends, clients
partner based on three questions: Is he crazy about you? Is
and my social media universe. This was hardly a scientific
he willing to grow? Does he meet your basics?
study yet it turned out that most single people who answered my call (brave souls, every one!) were holding out for that I-want-to-tear-off-your-clothes sexual chemistry.
When a woman can answer a positive yes to all three questions – granted, there’s a lot that goes into them she is more likely to be in a relationship that meets her needs which often include being heard and feeling secure,
They could be in for a long wait…a long and lonely wait
and this makes room for a stronger sensual and sexual
(sorry friends. I’m not outing you.). That’s because hot
connection between lovers.
(sexual chemistry fueled) sex has a short half-life.
To amp up intimacy that will make sex hotter, spend more
Most people get the difference between love and lust. But if
time full body hugging before making out or having sex,
sexual chemistry is your gatekeeper, than you are denying
recommends Diamond. “Be playful with each other …leave
yourself the chance to build a relationship with someone
distractions behind, eye gaze gently and provide a safe
who is a better-for-you life partner (as opposed to a great
place for each of you to ask for what you need and want.
Slow down, savor each moment and don’t make orgasm a
What most people may not realize is that aside from
goal, focus on enjoyment and pleasure and each other.”
sexual chemistry – the procreative urge - there’s another
Hot Intimacy invites you to open to the possibility that
way to build a great sexual connection. Diamond calls
you can have the chemistry you want, just not the way
this pathway Hot Intimacy. The really awesome news is
you thought. Change your relationship barometer. You’ll
that you can raise the bar as high as you want with Hot
be much smarter – and hopefully more satisfied – with a
Intimacy. That’s because Hot Intimacy works through
relationship built to last.
another hormone complex, one that involves oxytocin, also known as the bonding hormone.
Tina Bernard Find Love, Heal Love and Make Love Better at:
Hot Intimacy is heart-centered. It’s value based. It’s built
through shared experiences and recognizing your needs
78 BellaMia August 2015
rc om pr om of ise yo ur
et oT ur &T ni un tO e-i n n
nnnn nnnn ge t it
,,, , XO
MANUAL FOR A
Get in touch with your shapeshifting abilities. Connect, create, and celebrate you.
.com 80 BellaMia August 2015
Photo Credit: Skopelos, Greece - Onlyonestasia, Flickr
82 BellaMia August 2015
Sanctuary - Bedroom Sharon Otness It is important to your health and overall wellbeing to create a sanctuary in your home.
liberal exchange or return policy. You simply may not know
Nowhere is that more important than in your
if it is a fit until you have given it a true 30-day trial.
bedroom. The bedroom should be for three things and three things only. Sleep, relaxation and
that allows you space to decide and make sure they have a
Sex. It should feel like the private space and
stress free zone that it is meant to be. Are you ready to get started? First, start with how you want your private space to feel. Are you happiest in a cocooned nest, or do you like light, bright and ocean breezes? Do you love romance with sensual colors, lots of fabrics and luxury? Do you like a very clean fresh organic space that has a Zen feel? Maybe
Once you have selected your bed, finish it off with beautiful linens. Look for natural fibers here. Beautiful luxurious cottons and bamboo breathe beautifully and feel great against your skin. Sateen sheets are lovely and silky to the touch but it wrinkles, percale is cool and crisp. Decide which feel and look you love. Then, layer it up. Nothing says luxury more than a beautiful loft of duvets, coverlets, shams and feather pillows you can shape to fit you and how you sleep. Remember that luxury hotel you last slept in? Just like that!
you want to keep that urban, modern and chic look and
What about color? Don’t forget the four walls surrounding
your bed. Most people prefer soft, soothing colors in their
Start with the bed. One important thing that I learned when I was staging homes is that the bed is everything. Let it set the stage. If you want a romantic luxurious space you might select a four-poster or canopy bed. If you like a chic, urban feel you might pick the sophistication of black or grey leather or the sleek cool touch of white lacquer. For
bedroom, like blues, greens and taupes. But don’t forget that drama can be sensual and soothing too. Dark navy, charcoal and brown can add an element of surprise and act like a cocoon. Or, place a deep color on the headboard wall (it can even replace the headboard if your budget doesn’t allow).
those of you that want the simple, clean aesthetic of a Zen
Next, light it up. You may not need an overhead light in
space you might opt for a simple low wood platform bed or
your bedroom, but most homes have them. Feel free to
an organic texture like cane or bamboo.
add a dimmer switch to keep the mood more intimate. You
Make sure you have a healthful mattress. This is one of those things you should really shop in person for. Don’t get caught up in the sales hype. Look for organic, toxic free materials. You are having a very intimate relationship with this piece of furniture, right? Make sure it is comfortable and supports you in all of the right places. You will only know this by test driving it. Take your time. Visit a retailer
will want lamps next to the bed for reading, either on the bed-side tables or on the wall. If you have the luxury of a reading area, you will want to make sure to add one there. If you are very light sensitive, you may want to add a black out lining to your drapes, or a black out shade behind your existing drapery. Make sure you have adequate storage. To keep your 83
bedroom clutter free, determine what your needs are for
make essential oil blends to purify the air or soothe you to
dressers and bedside tables. They do not need to match,
sleep. Lavender is a beautiful choice. This is also a perfect
feel free to be creative and make sure they speak to the
place for photos of your loved ones - maybe the personal
way you want your room to feel. This is where you can use
photos you would like to keep private. Place a basket or
an old trunk, vintage suitcases, bamboo chests and even
covered box on your bedside table for the small things like
small bookcases. Refurbish older pieces with fresh paint
glasses to keep them uncluttered. A stack of good books.
and custom knobs.
Keep electronics out of this space. Good sleep hygiene
If you have the luxury of room, add a seating area. This is
means relaxing not the extra noise, light, stressful news
a place you can retreat to any time you need to recharge.
and stimulations that a television brings into the space.
I advise all of my clients to have a space (or two) that they
This includes your other electronics as well, including your
consider a sanctuary. Make it easy to meditate, read, or
phone and ipad. At the very least, power them down one
nap. A chaise or a beautiful chair and an ottoman to stretch
hour before bed and store them in another area.
out on is perfect. Add a throw and an altar with your favorite pieces that allow you to dream. Add an area rug or sheepskin rug underfoot; something that begs you to curl your toes into. Now, have a fun time with accessories. Keep them functional and meaningful. Add a green plant for nature
If you are living in a small space and need to live in one room or share your room with a desk/office, do your best to create “zones” to keep them as separate as possible. A drapery or screen can do the trick. Enjoy your new blissful sanctuary.
and the oxygen it brings to the room, shells from a favorite
trip, a candle made with beautiful oils. Add a diffuser and
84 BellaMia August 2015
Come Home to Your Body Charlene Maguire My entire inner and outer world
outside body. I started this by giving my body home what
around “home” has been going
it really was craving - some time in hot mineral waters,
through an upheaval for a couple years now. What exactly is home? A physical place? Family or the people you choose to have around you? Is it some magical sense of belonging somewhere or with someone? At the beginning of 2015, I was living on faith not knowing where I was physically going to be living, and not having a real sense of who my “tribe” was. I found myself in a big void... spinning. What
which have been particularly healing for me. How do you start going about finding your true “home” with your body? Well it starts by asking questions and being open to the awareness that will come, often not in a form you were expecting. Here are a few steps to take you through connecting more with your internal body energy as well as the physical space around you.
is the definition of “home?” Modern Dictionaries define
Start by coming back into the present moment! Surrender.
home as a dwelling, building where you reside, or country
As you go about your day, you and your body may feel
of origin. Older dictionaries go into home being the place
scattered, almost like you’ve left pieces of yourself all over
of your ancestors. But I feel something different. Home
the place and need to find them again. To fix this, start by
is YOU, and your body, and your body can be in any of
choosing a time of your day when you can just STOP, sit,
these places! We are given this home body at birth, and we
and take a deep breath. Then close your eyes. Take another
need to take care of it so it can assist us on this adventure
deep breath. Picture the energetic field around your body
we call life. Home to me is not defined by any sort of
and all those little scattered pieces all over the place. Turn
familiarity, but more about being in YOU in the present
your body into a magnet, and attract all those pieces of
moment, wherever you are.
YOU back to YOU. Keep breathing.
“The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” ~Maya Angelou Our bodies are made to be enjoyed. Made for sensing. Building. Movement. Exploration. Pleasure. Our bodies
While your eyes are still closed and you are ALL THERE in that moment, notice any sounds around you. Just notice. A squeak in the floor. A bird chirping outside the window. Maybe you have some music on. Fire engine going by? How about smells? Perfume? Musky scent? Fresh air? How sensitive are you to your surroundings, or do you just barely notice? Let it all just be there and notice it.
are not made to be sedentary for long periods of time. At
Keeping your eyes closed feel yourself up. That’s right.
the beginning of this year my body was clearly telling me
Feel all the parts of your body. This is your home. Feel
it wanted to go more places and experience more new and
how amazing this home is. You can take it wherever you
exciting things. But before we could do that we needed to
go and it will support you if you take care of it well. Ask it
create that sacred space of “home” both inside body and
some questions and see what it needs from you. I did this 85
while sitting in those mineral pools...and boy was my body
Take another DEEP BREATH. Receive the air into your
thankful to be there!
lungs and then slowly exhale. Feel the physical presence of
Open your eyes. Visually take notice of what is in your presence. Look at it like you were going to draw or paint it. Let your eyes look from one point to the next and really SEE it... One shape to the next... how the lines of things connect... all the colors in the space. The visual feast around you is a work of art. Notice the relationships of one item to another and how they complement each other, or not. Pleasing shapes or not so pleasing. You may even want to move some things around to create the space differently.
86 BellaMia August 2015
your body and the space you are in. Have you come home? Could you BE in this home wherever you are? Whether you are sitting on a chair, on a bed, in a house, in an apartment, with your family, with your friends, with your boss at work, in your car, in a park, on the top of a mountain, in a space ship, or on the moon....YOU ARE HOME. Charlene Maguire Artist/Designer/Teacher/Healer www.shapeshifterstudios.com
At BellaMia Magazine, we love our men.
“Making eye contact and you’re heart starts racing. Her touch makes your body tingle, and her kiss sends you over the moon. There is beauty in every woman and most importantly how she can empower you without speaking a word.”
Robert Arevalo Filmmaker, Actor, Licensed Bounty Hunter in CA
The Science of Ayurveda Michelle S. Fondin
ave you ever gone to the doctor
you must balance mind, body, soul, spirit and emotions
because you were feeling out of
before you are truly healthy. The reason for this is that
sorts? You may have had some
disease is developed on a very subtle level. Disease doesn’t
symptoms such as extreme fatigue,
just erupt. It’s developed over years and even decades.
mild headaches or just a general sense of not being well. But after examination and running a few test, the doctor sent you on your way with, “We don’t seem to know what’s wrong with you. Maybe it’s just a small virus. In a few days, this should go
Therefore, Ayurveda focuses more on prevention rather than treatment. What you do today will affect your health tomorrow. How Ayurveda Works
away.” But then it didn’t go away. And so the frustration
Ayurveda works on the basis of balance versus imbalance.
If a person is balanced, she is healthy, vibrant, energetic,
Western or allopathic medicine is excellent at treating emergencies and acute illness. It’s fantastic when you need a quick fix with antibiotics to kill a bacterial infection. However, it’s limited in helping a patient get to the root cause of illness or detecting illness at its earliest stages.
alive and motivated. When a person is out of balance, she is dull, achy, tired, worried, nervous or depressed. Whether or not physical symptoms are present, an Ayurvedic practitioner can detect that a person is out of balance by observation and dialogue with the patient. Discovering this imbalance before the patient becomes ill
Ayurveda is a 5,000-year-old medical system from India
gives the Ayurvedic practitioner a little more wiggle room
that complements Western medicine beautifully. It’s a
complete medical system that addresses diet, lifestyle, seasonal and daily routines, herbal medicine, massage
Balancing the Great Elements Leads to Healing
therapy, detoxification of the body, energy work and
Long ago before formal science was developed, the sages
spiritual practice through yoga and meditation. The great
in India, called rishis, observed people and nature. And
part about Ayurveda is that it’s all encompassing. The
they noticed that people were built differently. Each
philosophy behind Ayurveda says that if it works, then you
person acted and reacted to the same stimuli in different
should try it.
ways. For example, have you ever walked into a room with
The Ayurvedic Definition of Health
a friend and you felt the room was freezing while your friend thought the room was boiling hot? Or maybe you
In the West, if you are symptom free, generally you
love hot and spicy food while your spouse runs for the
would be considered healthy. According to Ayurveda,
bathroom if you even add black pepper to a dish? That’s
88 BellaMia August 2015
because we have different mind body types. The Ayurvedic
control of your health and your life. Physicians are only
mind body types are composed of the five elements: space,
human and they are mostly taught pathology or how to
air, fire, water and earth. We have all of these elements
treat sickness. And unfortunately, because of the volume
within us but in various proportions and that is why we
of patients a doctor must see to make a decent living, he
act and react differently. The three main mind body types
can’t truly get to know you as a whole person. But once you
are Vata, Pitta and Kapha. Vata is composed of space and
learn to take charge of your health, you will be empowered
air. Pitta is composed of fire and water. Kapha is made up
to rebalance your health on a constant basis so seeing a
of water and earth. Depending on your mind body type,
doctor becomes a rare occasion. Furthermore, having
you will follow a specific diet, exercise, and lifestyle plan
more tools in your toolbox of health makes you stronger
to balance your health. The reason this is helpful is that
and more confident in your body’s capability to heal so you
you can get to know yourself from the inside out. You will
can have the vitality to live life to its fullest.
understand what your natural propensities are in illness and in health. For example, a Vata type is prone to worry and anxiety but also dry skin and constipation. Once you know this, if you are a Vata type, you can rebalance before those symptoms get out of control. Shifting to Empowerment Most of us have been taught to trust our doctors blindly because the doctor “knows best”. Ayurveda teaches you
Article adapted from an excerpt from Michelle’s book, The Wheel of Healing with Ayurveda: An Easy Guide to an Ayurvedic Lifestyle, New World Library, 2015. To purchase the book please go to www.thewheelofhealing.com Michelle Fondin www.michellefondin.com
to be your own inner healer. It encourages you to regain
90 BellaMia August 2015
Living Only for Love Rebecka Eggers For a short while last week, I dropped into someone else’s reality long enough to realize how different it is from my own and to appreciate the difference. The experience took me completely by surprise and I found myself fighting back tears. During the entire encounter, I worked overtime and futilely to maintain my
motivations. Consider what you would be able to do if you didn’t see any flaws in yourself or others?
of becoming a model into a reality. She’s working the camera like a pro and offers are pouring in from all over the world. That in and of itself is a exceptional accomplishment when
Apparently, a hell of a lot if you look at
you consider that modeling is, with
a few notable exceptions like Tess
According to Rosanne, Madeline was overweight and that made it impossible to keep up with all the
Holliday, a closed universe where nearly unattainable standards of beauty are the rule.
physical activities she loves and with
But to me modeling isn’t Madeline’s
the friends she enjoys. So she set out
greatest achievement. It’s what she
This alternate reality belongs to 18
to do something about it.
does with the camera that impresses
year old aspiring model, Madeline Stuart. Madeline has Down Syndrome, a genetic condition that can affect everything from intellectual development to cardiac health and musculoskeletal development. But
Madeline (with a lot of help from Rosanne) recently lost nearly 45 pounds. But she didn’t do it to because she wanted to conform to society’s beauty norms. Madeline
me. When I look at Madeline’s pictures, I see something truly rare for the modeling world: a young woman blossoming into the fullness of her potential.
did it because she wanted to have a
In Madeline’s case, the camera is just
more ecstatic experience of her own
a tool. Through its lens, Madeline is
body. She loves to swim, play cricket
giving us a healing glimpse into what
Last week, I spent an hour and a half
and work out at the gym. She’s also a
it’s like to show up as all of who you
on Skype with Madeline’s mother,
are without a single reservation. She
Madeline isn’t letting any of that stop
Rosanne. It was through her mother’s description of life with Madeline that I was able to touch Madeline’s world. What I found there, was incredible
Madeline wanted to be able to do more of what she loves and she made the necessary sacrifices. Now she’s
is also showing us what it looks like to love your body without question and without confusion.
power and mesmerizing beauty.
just a stone’s throw away from her
The purity of Madeline’s love isn’t
goal weight. This was Madeline’s labor
limited to her body though. Rosanne
To get an idea of what I mean, imagine
of love for her body and for the quality
explained how Madeline is able to
what your life would be like if you
of her life.
open hearts everywhere she goes. She
did everything with pure enjoyment and love of life as your primary
Madeline is also making her dream
approaches everyone with genuine curiosity to know them. She doesn’t 91
see shapes, sizes or colors. She just
That’s why I couldn’t hold my
I think this is especially true when it
composure or keep the tears from
comes to our fellow human beings.
welling up in my eyes as I listened
We feel uncomfortable whenever
to Rosanne. I had no idea such ease
we encounter anyone whose gifts,
of relating and ease of being in one’s
abilities or appearance fall too far
own skin was even possible.
outside our idea of what normal is.
Madeline relates to everyone through the essence of who they are, not through the superficial markers that the rest of the world uses to slice and dice potential relationships into finer
What Madeline is offering to the world
categories. Everyone has an equal
is far more than superficial beauty.
opportunity with Madeline based on
She is offering us all the example of
the quality of their hearts. As a result,
what it looks like to know only beauty
when Madeline walks into a room
and to live only for love.
with her heart unashamedly on her sleeve, other people open up too.
like Madeline. We see only the ways in which they are different from us and we discount their value without showing a fraction of the curiosity and openness that comes so naturally to
this article Discard, because that’s
exactly what we normally do when
the things that come so naturally to
we encounter something that doesn’t
Madeline. I yearn to relate to the
conform to our expectations. Don’t
world with an unguarded, curious
get me wrong. As human beings, we
heart. I ache to love my body with
generally crave novelty, but only if it
the kind of effortless acceptance and
doesn’t challenge who we think we are
tender care that Madeline has given
and what we think we know. We like
to her own. I long to approach the
to drag our novelty into our comfort
camera expressing nothing but the
92 BellaMia August 2015
needed example provided by people
When I first sat down to write, I called
For years I have been trying to achieve
fullness of who I am.
So often, we are blind to the much
I am humbled and so grateful to have had the opportunity to enter Madeline’s world, however superficially, and to have been changed by it. www.madelinestuartmodel.com
94 BellaMia August 2015
Charleston Pierce article Mia Saenz Charleston Pierce, welcome to
in modeling. Learning discipline
BellaMia magazine. We are delighted
is crucial in all areas of your life,
to interview you.
especially when you are a model
BellaMia: Why did you go into modeling? Charleston: Initially I was not interested in modeling, never thought about it and was too busy playing sports growing up. I was asked to be part of my high school fashion show and even then I was reluctant to do it. I talked my
because, agents, clients and people will always be looking at your appearance. BellaMia: What is your perception and the Body Image movement with female models? Charleston: The Body image movement is in motion and I support it.
training them on the catwalk. How does the catwalk differ from still photography, in terms of affecting women’s personal image of themselves? Charleston: The catwalk vs. photo shoots. Models can have their photo photoshopped and edited, but on the catwalk all eyes are one you, there is no photoshop. BellaMia: Behind the scenes, will you share how difficult it is on male and
brother into doing the show with
I was interviewed by CBS San
female models to keep the industry
me for support. During the show,
Francisco, a couple months ago about
I realized how much fun it was to
my thoughts of female models and
receive a type of attention I never
As long as you are taking care
I finished school and carried on with
of yourself by eating health and
life, it wasn’t until my mid 20’s that I
exercising your body size marketable
was chosen to experience the model
for the modeling industry.
industry as a career.
I wrote, “Beauty comes in all shapes
BellaMia: Was it difficult for you as
and sizes, you don’t have to be skinny
a male model to handle body image
or tall to be a model.
issues? Charleston: Yes! Very difficult. Any career of choice takes desire, hard work, time and patience. The modeling industry is not easy and our body image is a key element
I’m so happy that the plus-size movement has inspired women of all sizes to be on the runway.”
Charleston: There used to be a standard look. Today there’s a new standard look. I believed it’s based on your timing and your social network. Any one model or person with a unique personality, talent, look and desire could have the next new face or standard looking model. Model looks changes every season and even now the looks are being changed. The Fashion and Modeling is an
Click here for an article on a
industry that lives and breathes
modeling movement in France.
BellaMia: You also work with women 95
Charleston: Click here for Testimonials Also, What does it takes to be Model? A desire, self-belief, industry knowledge, permission and an acceptance from yourself. Anyone can model, that’s what I believe. There are all sorts of modeling jobs, pay attention to commercials, there are all ages, shapes and sizes, getting paid to model. The industry has tons of jobs for all types of people. We can all model for ourselves and we do every day we get dressed. You picked out your outfit looks every day
96 BellaMia August 2015
and reason. We were all born to model our own brands. Our faces and bodies our image/brand. We are all walking brands and we model for ourselves every day. We also model for our soul mates, loved ones, family, friends and careers.
Be your own model for yourself and for the ones that matter most in your life. Your look is your look, your face is your face, your walk is your walk. Embrace it with appreciation and gratitude. Be thankful. You are blessed and fabulous no matter what people think or say. It’s not about what others think. It’s
Some people get paid for their looks
what you now about yourself. You are
and some just enjoy the results of
wonderfully created and loved by an
owning their model skills and powers.
We don’t have to be a cover model or
With love and compassion, Charleston Pierce
the runway model to be fabulous or shine like a famous star or top model. Just live to be your best and know that no matter what, you can model for yourself and your look is priceless and unforgettable.
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Body Image Sharon Otness - wth Alexandria Spencer Foot don’t think there is anyone
gives this unattainable love of a reality
you to be. You know what the client is
out there that is more
that doesn’t exist. It is not something
selling and you help with that. It has
conscious of body image today
I strive for. I have more interests
nothing to do with the girl you are
like honesty and truth and just being
inside. I can go from goofing around
judged from the moment
myself. If people see me as glamorous,
with everyone on set, but when it is
they wake up. First by
or they think I behave in a certain way
time to do the shot, I just turn it on
it is because of the way I carry myself.
like a switch. It is the camera and you
than a model. They are
themselves, then by their agency then by the casting director followed by the photographer, the designer and their clients. Judged by their weight, measurements, height, hair, eyes, bone structure, skin, they can be tall, beautiful, and quirky and still not be
Sharon: Yes, you carry yourself with a great deal of confidence. I noticed it especially when you came home from Asia. Alex: Yes, I know there was a difference. I carry myself with
and the photographer. I can go into myself and pull out the performance they want. Sharon: That is a great distinction you made. How does body image affect the fashion industry?
confidence and sometimes it is even
Alex: I would say very heavily. We are
a defense mechanism. I can build
being judged the moment we walk
myself up by holding my head high,
into a casting room. A\”Am I talking
and keeping my shoulders back and
too much, am I skinny enough, do I
walking with a certain level of grace. It
have enough boobs, how’s my butt,
elevates me. And in a way it keeps me
is my hair too red, is it too blonde?
unattainable when I am walking the
Am I too pale, or too dark? At a
streets of New York. But it also gives
casting unless you are on personal
I am so happy to be able to interview a
me a boost of confidence, like a fake it
request you can be one of 100 girls,
woman that has been in the modeling
until you make it mentality.
fashion week maybe 500. I have had
“quite right”. And most of the time when they show up for a casting and put it all on the line, they have no idea why they weren’t selected. In order to keep their own self-worth they have to know on the inside that they are enough.
business since she was 18, from San Francisco to LA, Hong Kong, Shanghai and now New York, my daughter Alexandria.
Sharon: So tell me this. When you are called in on a job and it is a more glamorous shoot (you do a lot of hair and beauty), how do you stay true to
Sharon: What does the word Glamour
yourself but do the job you are paid
mean to you?
Alex: I don’t really like that word. I
Alex: It is a lot like a performance. You
think it separates people and in a way
are being the person the client wants
98 BellaMia August 2015
times when I walked (for runway) and I knew they weren’t even paying attention. You show your book and they may be too distracted when it is your turn. I am really not in agreement with the homogenization of the industry. I think there have definitely been strides made, but not enough.
Sharon: I remember one day you
Sharon: I know that you have very
to work together. There is such a
thanked me for not letting you start
strong values and are very ethical. Has
cattiness and competition among
modeling at a younger age.
working in this industry shaken that?
women that isn’t healthy. I think that
Alex: Yes, when you take a young girl
Alex: No, in fact I think it has made
that is maybe 15 or 16 and you start
me even more ethical. I am a strong
hiring her for all these jobs and she
proponent of model rights. I love to
sees her only value is her face and
mentor young models and would
body and her thoughts don’t matter it
like to start a program so they have
is hard for her to handle. Even for me
someone to talk to. It can be so easy
it is a constant battle to remind myself
to fall in with the wrong people in this
that yes, I have this body, yes I have
this face, but I also have something
is where the body shaming comes in. We do it to ourselves. I mean, to be honest men don’t care so much about all of the things we demean each other over. If they do care it can be to use it against us as they know it is a really easy way to bring us down. We do it to ourselves. I know for a fact that men don’t care like we do. They usually say
I also am strong about staying true to
things like “Oh that’s great love that
myself. For so long I tried to fit in with
you have an extra inch”. If I say my
the beauty standards of the industry.
agent wants me to lose weight, they
Sharon: I remember at a fashion
I finally had to tell my agency that
say “That is because they are crazy”.
show you were in you actually
I didn’t want to continue to try and
gathered up the younger girls and had
lose weight and to lose the curves I do
them leave with you as it was turning
have and am finally accepting. It took
into an abusive situation. I was so
me a long time to get to this point of
proud of you.
having full body love and acceptance. I
of value behind it and I make sure to bring it to the surface.
Alex: Thank you. That is why mentoring younger models is so important to me
mean, I look at photos of myself a year ago. And I see a difference. It is not necessarily that I have lost or gained
Sharon: I think that is an interesting point you bring up. I happen to know that you are a very tall and very slender woman. So when you talk about losing weight, no one in the real world could even imagine such a thing.
weight, or changed my hair. It is a
Alex: The other thing is that it is not
Sharon: Can you describe a little bit
difference of the way I am carrying
just body shaming we do but also
about how being a model can affect
myself. I see a sense of pride in myself
shame within ourselves. We need to
and I love myself. It has been a daily
come up with an acceptance within
struggle but I refuse to belittle myself
ourselves that we are sexual. We can
anymore because maybe I have an
control that. It is ok for us to enjoy sex
unnecessary inch on my hips or my
as we have human urges just like men.
waist or my boobs. I have come to
We can be in charge of our sexuality
a place in the last year where I am
instead of it being used to shame us.
Alex: As we have talked about I can be perceived as an object and not a person. I seldom tell people I am a model, especially first dates because I don’t want to be judged just for that. There is definitely still a stigma that we are stupid. I know so many models who have college educations, are extremely smart and are multitalented. So many people judge you and don’t care what your dreams or
really good with myself. I decided I would not sacrifice my health or my happiness for my job. I have lost some
Alex: Yes, I don’t like to see the
head up high I am happy in my own
victimizing, the slut shaming. It is
skin and I am not faking it anymore.
so sad to see the comments of the
Sharon: Amen! Can you talk a bit
longer to find your people, but I am
more about the body shaming of
lucky to have many good friends that
women? Alex: I think we need to strengthen our community as women. We need
100 BellaMia August 2015
standard still isn’t there?
work because of it but I can hold my
aspirations are. It can take a little bit
don’t care what I do for work.
Sharon: Yes, there is a double
tabloids. A woman is either pregnant or gained weight-heck what if she is just bloated and isn’t holding herself up straight at that moment? This needs to stop.
Sharon: I know you have a huge
them really beautiful when they
women. It started out as a joke, but it
future in front of you. You talked a
are being true to themselves. I love
is gaining momentum. I am also in the
little bit about wanting to mentor
documenting women that way. I am
process of curating a vintage fashion
younger women in the modeling
thinking of releasing a calendar in a
online store. And that has been a lot to
world. What else is on the horizon?
year or so. I have started a movement
Alex: Since I moved back to New York I fell back in love with photography. I love shooting old school with film. And, talking about body image, I love shooting my friends. Even though many of them are models, I find
called Brooklyn Dirty Girls. It is all about women changing their perspective, showing the real and sometimes â€œdown and dirtyâ€? aspects
Sharon: I am very proud of you and I look forward to seeing you do amazing things in the world.
of us that is not so far from men. We donâ€™t have to be these perfect little
Unveiled Lone Morch s I sit down
Spontaneously, I asked a friend
To me, bold color steals the attention
to photograph me so that I could
from the subject matter. Amidst the
create a sexy book for my husband. I
complex, technicolored reality of our
returned the favor and photographed
modern world, black-and-white lets
her. We had such a fun and liberating
me zoom in on both the essential and
experience! We decided every woman
my mind drifts to a time of innocence, to Denmark, and to the
should try this. I began photographing
birthplace of my creative impulses.
friends and soon after, strangers.
In this memory, I am seven and the
Intrigued by the catalytic power of the
proud owner of a room of my own.
camera, I opened Lolo’s Boudoir in
A bed, a desk, shelves with stacks of
2004, a studio dedicated to women’s
books, music tapes, colored pens,
one red-haired daisy doll with orange and yellow flowers of instant joy on the walls. Without my brothers’ mocking and preying parental eyes, I was free to be me––writing, drawing, dancing and daydreaming of romantic adventures and foreign lands. Decades later, I notice I’m still doing these things and that I, unwittingly, upon marrying and moving to San Francisco, recreated a room of my own. Busy building a life and media company with my partner, I yearned for time alone to reconnect to my feminine self beyond my marriage. At the time, I’d picked up an old Nikon, because I missed making ‘real photos,’ and wanted to learn about the light in visual storytelling.
102 BellaMia August 2015
As I strive to see the clarity in each woman, I also shroud her in a soft light, as if to protect her from the hungry and harsh eyes of a society in which the female body has become an object, to mistreat, control, fear,
Clearly, I wasn’t the only woman in
shame, fix and sell. In other words,
need of a safe space to explore and
paradoxically, I use photography to
express herself. Since opening Lolo’s
move women from focusing on image
Boudoir, hundreds of women have
and into a genuine relationship with
sought out the transformational
power of my lens. Right now, I’m completing a book about our journey of Unveiling. As a result, I’m reflecting upon the doorways this work has opened and continues to open in me and the women.
In this context, the lens sheds light on the visible and invisible life of the body. When I point the camera at a woman and ask her to “get naked,” something happens. Her shames and doubts seem to show up in the room,
In some sense, this journey really
not in words, but by body gestures––a
began with a simple choice. Black-
defended chest, eyes looking away,
and-white photography is my
rigid hips and put-on smiles.
medium. I am fascinated with the light’s power to illuminate and disguise, give shape and evoke emotion. This fascination drew me to the simple yet visceral qualities of black-and-white.
Each woman comes to be witnessed, yet she is terrified of being seen. Instinctually, she knows her body doesn’t lie. The lens helps me get under the skin, so to speak, of pretense and postures, all the ways
104 BellaMia August 2015
we hide, and touch the trembling
imagination––the ability to see
compassion for the terrifying journey
aliveness within. Engaging directly
oneself in a different light. Today I
we all must take towards our most
with female bodies of all ages and
have no doubt. We needed to create
whole, free and alive selves.
shapes helps me shatter the idea of
these images so that we could step
the perfect body, and instead work
into them. We needed, if only briefly,
with the body’s own language to
to exist without judgment, projection
unlock frozen, stuck places in women.
and (self)censorship. We needed to
The camera and the illuminating power of black-and-white photography opens a gateway to awakening. With our explorations, my subjects and I set in motion questions about art, body, beauty, sexuality, power and image––crucial questions
rekindle reverence for our bodies and feminine selves. We needed to encounter our beauty, on our own terms. We needed to penetrate our skin and feel at home within it. We needed to re-make ourselves in our own image.
As I reflect on all of this, my photography feels more and more like the sacred art of reverence. It began with a fascination with the light and today, I laugh at the poignancy of the metaphor––I was looking for the light. I found it in each women. I found it in myself. This is a light that had to be born in the private sanctuary of a room all our own. But in the end, it is a light that cannot, will not, be tamed
at a time where many of us feel the
What can be more satisfying than
or contained, within the walls of our
urgency to dismantle the remnants of
calling forth the beauty, dignity and
privacy. We must find the courage to
the patriarchal DNA embedded within
freedom in another?
unveil it, and we have. Soon it will be
ourselves and our world and forge new ways as emancipated women.
This book and this work have opened me to the heart of seeing. I often joke
Who is the woman behind the veils?
I have to develop a crush on everyone
What stirs beneath the skin? What
I photograph. It’s not a joke. When in
would female sexuality and freedom
love, we suspend judgment, we are
look like if untainted by cultural
curious, we want to know everything
projection? Where are we still hiding,
about the other. Seeing to me is
feeling. With my inquiring eye, I’ve
The journey of Unveiling I am now bringing to the world in the form of my new book touches all these
tried to see something truer, more dignified, something that feels like herself.
Unveiled. © Lone Mørch, 2015 Lone Mørch is an award-winning author, fine art photographer and creative catalyst, driven by a deep sense of curiosity, freedom and social justice. An advocate for female sovereignty and emancipation, her work explores the crossroads between veils, words, art, politics, body and self. The founder of Lolo’s Boudoir,
questions. In retrospect my subjects
Each woman I photograph shows me
she’s helped liberate hundreds of
and I did not find finite answers.
her eternity in temporal glimpses. I
women wide and far through her
Instead, we touched upon the veins
have seen fresh faces and flesh laced
transformative photography. Her first
and vanities than run beneath our
with life events, wildness trapped in
book Seeing Red: A Woman’s Quest
skin. We engaged pleasure and pain.
too tight a skin and hard won wisdom
for Truth, Power and the Sacred
We contemplated our own nudity. We
imprinted in the eyes of women
(SWP 2012) is an raw and honest
veiled ourselves to touch our mystery.
who’ve lived long enough for time
account of her own path to liberation.
We lifted the veils to emerge in our
to loosen its grip. And witnessed
Her upcoming book is about her
own light and shadow. By moving our
the many transitions women travel
photographic explorations with
bodies, we experienced embodiment.
through in a lifetime.
women. Lone splits her time between
By entering into the spotlight, we came alive, not only to the camera’s curious eye, but also to our own–– who am I now? The journey to freedom requires
What the women wanted, I wanted.
USA and Europe.
What they sought, I sought. In them,
About Lone’s work:
I saw myself. Together we mended
www.lonemorch.com About the book Unveiled:
a strained, competitive relationship with each other and found
106 BellaMia August 2015
Jade Beall Mia Saenz BellaMia: Jade, what motivated you to begin this beautiful, raw, real project called “A Beautiful Body Project”?
their body story. BellaMia: You have a Hardcover “The Bodies of Mothers” book that
Jade: At first, I simply wanted to
is truly ground-breaking with 170-
feature more un-photoshopped/
page 12x12” utilizing 70 women all
unretouched images celebrating
untouched. How long did it a take you
body diversity. I couldn’t find any
to photograph and then complete this
models who would allow me to post
project of a book?
photos of any varying body types, but after giving birth and finding myself with a very different looking body than before I was pregnant, I decided to take photos of what would be classified as my “fat” body and to call my body beautiful. After posting those photos I was shocked to hear from women all over the world that were moved by my vulnerability and who wanted to be photographed too! Finally women of varying body types wanted to be photographed and share their story and most
Jade: I started photographing a few months after I gave birth in February of 2012. I photographed non-stop for 2 years and released my book mother’s day of 2014. It was a LOT of work, as I self-published and
I take it slow while photographing, we talk, I follow my models lead on comfort level and how nude they wish to share themselves. In my book, some women are in their cutoff jeans while others are bare chested and some fully nude. I think it gives a sense of who the person is this way, to allow them to decide how much vulnerability they wish to share. BellaMia: Your work is relatable to every woman. Before going into each photo shoot, how do you determine what you want the series to look like?
had never made a book before! I
Jade: To be honest I never had an
was encouraged to do a Kickstarter
agenda. I try to be a clear vessel for
campaign and was blessed to have a
magic to happen through me. I allow
very successful support base of over a
the shoot to simply flow and I try to
thousand backers wishing to be a part
channel the most relaxing, supportive
of my movement and to facilitate the
environment to allow my model to
publishing of my book!
be most like herself which makes the most beautiful image.
importantly, allow themselves to be
BellaMia: When working with women
celebrated! It was then I realized that
in these nude photo shoots or even in
BellaMia: What advantages for each
my photography style could become
undies and bra, what process do you
woman partaking in the photo shoot
more therapeutic and focus on
take them through to feel comfortable
do they get out of it? Please share
celebrating all of the beautiful bodies
in their skin?
their emotional growth.
Jade: Because I had put my so called
Jade: Many women leave feeling
“fat” body out there nude for the
“changed” and seeing themselves
world to see, I was gifted tremendous
in a new light! Others depart with
trust from all of my participants
seeds of self-love firmly germinating
automatically. In addition to that,
in their hearts. Many return for
that had previously been convinced they must change to be called beautiful. I was motivated by all of the women wishing to be seen and I have become incredibly passionate about sharing the voices of all women and 108 BellaMia August 2015
follow up shoots and some email
campaign happening for a worldwide
what beautiful truly means and how
me explaining how the shoot was a
project photographing women. Would
we all have a right to embody this
catalyst to practice a sustainable self-
you like to tell us about it and how we
powerful birthright of a word.
love existence and to break the cycle
all can support this?
of self-loathing and body shaming by replacing negative words with kind adjectives about their bodies and other’s bodies in front of their children. BellaMia: Jade, you have a funding
110 BellaMia August 2015
Jade: I have recently revamped “A Beautiful Body Project” website with the desire to feature truthful images and stories from women photographers from around the planet in order to redefine, globally,
Hardcover “The Bodies of Mothers” Jade Beall’s ground-breaking 170-page 12x12” book www.jadebeall.com www.abeautifulbodyproject.com
112 BellaMia August 2015
Have you ever been stopped by your fears?
On Sale Now! KissYourFearsGoodbyeBook.com 113
Living Large Mia Saenz A few months ago when we started to
from being bullied by others because
prepare this issues theme of Beautiful
they may have been somewhat
Me, one of my writers, Tova Garr,
different than another.
brought me a video in Hebrew. Even though I do not speak Hebrew I knew what they were saying, I knew their pain, I knew their beauty, and I knew their desires to be loved. My first reaction after I stopped my tears was, ‘This has to be translated into English and for the magazine. I have to connect with my sisters around the world to get their messages out there.” Within a matter of hours I was connected with Michal on skype. She agreed to place English subtitles on the video translation from Hebrew into English, graciously provided by our writer Tova Garr. Watch the video here I then wanted to meet this amazing woman who was courageous enough to create this project, this movement, in Israel. We met on skype and I fell in love with her kindness, her beauty; internal and external, and her plight to create this video. As I got to know Michal, she told me about the pain that these women endured over the years while growing up. As an advocate of basic human rights, I was brought back to my childhood of protecting children on the school yard 114 BellaMia August 2015
article on the exhibit here One of the most powerful pieces that I took from our conversation was that
This project, Living Large is
Michal as an Actress was told she
the brainchild of actress and
wouldn’t have as many opportunities
psychodrama therapist Michal
to act as a plus size woman, so she
Grinvald, who also participated as
created this project Living Large or
a photographic subject. Michal
Taking Space to bring attention to all
connected with Ilan Besor, a leading
the beautiful women that do not look
fashion, portrait, advertising and
like Barbie dolls. In reality, no woman
editorial photographer, to create
looks like a Barbie doll - they wouldn’t
this photo shoot that turned into a
be able to stand up right. Instead,
celebrated art exhibit in Tel Aviv,
Michal chose to embrace who she is
Israel. See the exhibit here
and looked into history to see what
This video which accompanied the shoot, was directed by the awardwinning Noa Aharoni, and offers insight into the women’s thoughts, histories, and motivations for participation in the project. Grinvald shares that, “Taking Space was a volunteer project which put full-figured women at the center, women who live the way they ought to live, viewing their bountiful bodies as a symbol of feminine beauty and power, revealed in full glory, to inspire other women to be, dare, live and fill the space with true, uncompromising beauty, and prove that societal judgement is a barrier they can overcome”. See the full
the body trends were. Like many plus size women, she fell in love with the Renaissance period, where having weight on your body was a sign of health and wealth. Personally, I am thrilled to see women like Michal expressing who they are and supporting other women in their country. All women around the world should be recognized for their beauty whether they carry weight, or if they happen to be under weight. As we age, and our beauty begins to fail us, what is left? That is the question I am asking you today. Why not look beyond, and see into the eyes and the soul of each woman you see, to see who she really is?
Listed below in gratitude are the beautiful people who either modeled or gave their services for this artistically beautiful, soulfully deep and much needed video. Bravo, I stand up and applaud you.
Credits Writing and Directing: Noa Aharoni
Video and exhibition producer: Lelia Lev Ari
Development and Casting: Michal Grinvald
Still Photographer: Ilan Besor
Video Photographer: Tulik Galon
Models in Video Michal Grinvald Carmel Ram Lilach Biret Reut Yarden Liraz Asayag Tal Phoenix
Models in Exhibit Ilya Zimbris Adi Yosef Liron Nagar
Photographer assistants: Noam Greshler Lihi Sabag Bosmat Hershkovitz
Video Editor: Reut Hahn
Art and Styling: Rona Doron
Sound Woman: Sharon Luzon
Lighting: Keren Paldi Cerem blumberg
Hair Design: Sigalit Grau
Makeup artists: Ella Tal Inbar Luria
Translation: Minda Garr Natalie Fainstein
116 BellaMia August 2015
Be Still and Know Thy Self Carolyn Gervais
any wonder how they can learn
most protect. Since these perceptions cannot be proven
to still themselves and move
as fact; means they’re mythical and used to give personal
into a state of peacefulness. When practicing stilling the mind as a beginner, the mind can become more active causing frustration. That mind jabber is the ego’s attempt to stay in control of what you do or not do.
meaning and purpose to life. When someone’s meaning and purpose are attacked, they feel threatened. Taking responsibility for our shameful acts or experiences can be difficult---they conjure up painful guilt and memories. The best mindset is: The experience
Because it feels so normal for the ego to have the control,
is done; there’s nothing left I can undo, except make
many people do not yet realize that there is a higher,
amends with myself and those involved. Look for valuable
more peaceful aspect of mind. When tapped into, it will
lessons you’ve learned from the experience. Let that
eventually tame the ego with its tutelage.
enhance who you’ve become.
What gives the ego so much power to sabotage? This cannot be stated enough: It is fear of everything and
Desires become selfish when family, important occasions, one’s health and other people’s feelings are
anything that threatens a person’s beliefs and perceptions.
ignored. Giving too much of your time and not enough
Once we tire of being a puppet for the ego, we begin to
to accomplish your desires, is also an imbalance. One
question the validity of life and our self.
balances the other.
Questions like: What beliefs do I protect that when threatened, I rise to anger?
Aspire to a higher standard of being in the world, by knowing yourself, not only as a human but also as a spiritual being. Move into your heart as much as possible by cultivating a compassion for human error. All desires,
What shame do I strive to hide?
experiences and regrets lead to the wisdom of the heart.
Which desires create selfishness?
Most, want to know what the life force energy inside them
What is the purpose of life? Answers: The perception of self-image and beliefs are what we 118 BellaMia August 2015
is about. You are about energy. Everything and everyone is created with the same amount of the life force energy, many call God.
Analogy: Take a drop of ocean water. Put it into a glass bottle with
and through each of your chakras, opening and balancing them.
a cork. Throw it into the ocean. The ocean represents
At the root chakra the healing energy begins moving
God. The drop of water (God) in the bottle represents us
upward now; slowly through each chakra. When at the
in a body. Of course the glass bottle will not sink because
crown chakra---a feeling of unconditional love and
of the cork. You can float in (the ocean of creation) that
indescribable peace fills you.
created your essence and your free-will. The cork is the ego aspect that perpetuates the illusion, we are not energy coalesced as a body, when we are. To move out of that illusion the cork (ego) must be taken out of power, allowing essence (God) to flow freely throughout the body and mind. Meditation: Sit back, close your eyes and relax every muscle and fiber of your being. Breathe in the light of whatever you feel
Float in this energy until itâ€™s time to come back into your normal waking state. Think it and you will be back in your body, feeling energized. Youâ€™ve been given a healing. With daily practice, meditation will become easier and easier. Know that any effort to understand all that you are as energy helps to expand consciousness in all experiences.
created your essence. That power can be anything that
Let each meditation unfold the way it will each day, with
makes you feel safe and peaceful when focusing on it.
Think of something that inspires you and opens your heart
May these words inspire you to move inward, to stillness
to a devotional kind of love. Feel the protection of that love
and peace, so that you might bring it forward and into our
right now as you float on a big soft cloud.
You are completely safe and relaxed. Let your inner
Caolyn Gervais Author of: I Dreamed I Was Human (Awakening from the Illusion)
awareness become aware of a healing energy touching the top of your head. Your thoughts are floating around you like feathers that never land. Feel yourself sinking deeper
into the peaceful bliss of the healing energy moving down
Caregiving Care for Them by Taking Care of Yourself Tina Ketchie Stearns
ith the Senior Tsunami coming
caregiver to do because, well, they are busy caregiving for
as 10,000 baby boomers turn
others! It’s just not in their nature, but it is key to serving
65 years old every day, the job of caregiving is falling on a growing number of individuals who are struggling to balance children, jobs, spouses, significant others and caring for their elderly loved ones. Overwhelming is an understatement if you have ever found yourself in that position. But, you can’t take care of your loved one if you don’t take care of yourself. That is a very hard thing for a 120 BellaMia August 2015
your loved ones. Here are some tips I hope will help. If you don’t take care of yourself, you could wind up needing someone to care for you! Computer Searching - The average caregiver is a 47 year old woman who is on the computer at 2am trying to figure out “What is wrong with Mama?” The problem with that is there is plenty of misleading or incorrect information on the web. You may visit: http://seriousillness.org/. Here you
will find excellent information and support for caregivers. Advance Care Planning – Go to www.gotplans123.org for help with living wills and healthcare power of attorney documents. Ideally you will do the 3 D’s – Decide, Discuss and Document
Hospice Care – The national hospice ribbon says, “It’s About How You LIVE”. Hospice does not help people die, they help people live until they die. If your loved one has a prognosis of 6 months or less estimated for end of life, they are eligible for hospice care. Most people do not realize that there are different kinds of hospices, so it is
Drink Water – Caregiving can be stressful and
important that you select the hospice that best meets your
dehydrating, so drink plenty of water.
needs. Some are non-profit hospices, and some are for
Take a Moment for You – Even if it is just walking outside for 5 minutes, or practicing mindful breathing, you need to clear your mind and calm your insides in order to have the patience you need for caregiving. Ideally you can take some time away to go to a movie, get a mani-pedi, or have a girl’s night out with friends. Sleep – It is difficult to sleep when you are worried about your loved one, so consider a service that offers overnight care so you can rest knowing someone is with your loved one should they need something during the night. Sometimes this is referred to as Respite care. Community Resources – There are often resources in your community that can offer help and support. Among them include the local United Way, Senior Services, Cancer Services, and various home health agencies that offer a wide range of personal care assistance including bathing, shopping, cooking, cleaning and transportation to and
profit. Some have inpatient hospice facilities and some do not. Some offer complementary therapies including art therapy, music therapy, massage therapy and healing touch. The number one thing families say after their loved one has received hospice care is, “I wish we had called sooner.” On average, patients in hospice care live 29 days longer than patients not in hospice care. Caregiving is very stressful, not only for the caregiver, but also for the elderly person being cared for. When they feel they are losing control over their life that is gradually slipping away from them, it is a very difficult thing to deal with. A helpful technique is to give your loved one as much control as possible. For example, instead of saying, “You must use your walker, you have bruises from falling and you might fall and break a hip!” try saying, “What do you think about using a walker? I noticed several bruises from falls you have taken lately. Do you think a walker would help prevent you from falling?” This gives them the
from doctor’s appointments. Adult Day Services may also
control over the decision to use a walker. Big difference!
provide Occupational and Physical Therapies.
Ask for help from family, friends and the community
Long Term Care Facilities – Should your loved one reach
resources that are available to you. Please do not
the stage where they can no longer live at home, there
overextend yourself. We all need support while caregiving
are various long term care facilities to consider. The
for loved ones. You are doing a great job!
services range from a limited scope of services offered at
Tina Ketchie Stearns
independent living facilities, to increased levels of care
offered at assisted living and skilled facilities.
The Dreaded “C” Word - Turning a Cancer Diagnosis into an Empowering Life Change Lorraine Cohen
“Lorraine, you have stage four breast cancer.”
experience and success with any health and life situation.
I cursed, when my surgeon delivered the news on March
Proactively create your healing plan with trusted
20, 2015. This was the third time in three years I had
professionals. Surround yourself with people who support
received a cancer diagnosis.
your choices and see you as whole, well and healthy!
I had been resisting inner nudges to make health and lifestyle changes, for some time. After choosing to have a second lumpectomy, I immediately made specific dietary and nutritional adjustments. I assembled my team of
Explore your options, get honest with yourself, and follow what resonates. Empower yourself to make confident decisions that feel right for you. This is your body and your life!
healers and energy practitioners, and added more rest and
I read Kris Carr’s book, Crazy, Sexy Diet. It is a treasure
quiet time. I decreased my work load temporarily, and felt
trove of insights, strategies, and recipes to transform your
excited to start writing the next chapter in my life.
healing experience into an uplifting adventure.
So, here is what you can do if you get that (gulp) call: Educate Yourself. There is a wealth of information on traditional and natural cancer treatments available to everyone online. The Quest for the Cures… Continues is a phenomenal documentary series hosted by Ty Bollinger. Ty interviews leading-edge health professionals, doctors, researchers and survivors. They provide natural healing tips and strategies geared to help you make empowered choices about cancer and dis-ease, and restore optimal health. Check YouTube to view some episodes. Resist making any decisions from fear, guilt, or pressure. Examine what you believe, feel, resonate with, and really, really want for your healing journey and your life. I chose not to do chemo and radiation, in all three cancer diagnoses, because I knew they are not the right options for me. Whatever you believe will directly affect your 122 BellaMia August 2015
Heal Your Emotional Wounds. Unresolved trauma and pain from the past can create stress on your autoimmune system and your heart. I believe that part of the genesis of all dis-ease is an emotional wound that is often rooted in fear, lack of forgiveness, rage, guilt and shame. Doing the inner work is a gift of self-love to free yourself from the burdens of the past, and restores your mental, emotional, and physical health. Lighten up. Choose people and things that are fun, bring you joy, nourish you, and feel soul fulfilling. Focus on all the goodness in your life that makes your life meaningful, abundant, and rich. View life though a lens of gratitude and appreciation. Love transforms everyone and everything, including a cancer diagnosis.
Keep your ‘God glow’ turned on. Prioritize the spiritual practices that keep you centered, grounded, and connected with your Higher Nature. Personally, I include God in every decision I make, in every area of my life. Who better to walk with and guide you, than the One who loves you dearly, has the power to heal you in an instant, and creates worlds? What Story Are You Telling? The words, thoughts, and feelings that you’re telling yourself and vocalizing to others, are creating your reality. Pay attention to empowering circumstances that define you.
I feel powerful when I repeat the words out loud and see myself already healed. I believe that all experiences bring blessings and healing opportunities to help you open your heart to love, grow, and evolve. Sharing your experiences will also help others. Imagine seeing every challenge and difficulty as a pathway to self-mastery and everything you really want. If you look at life through a wide perspective, it will turn a negative life circumstance into a positive experience, if you allow it. So, beautiful woman, if you find yourself receiving a distressing health diagnosis like cancer, remember that
You are NOT your body.
you belong to a tribe of wayshowers like Louise Hay,
You are NOT your thoughts or feelings.
Suzanne Sommers, and Kris Carr. These women have led
You are NOT your circumstances or your diagnosis.
the way to powerfully live their lives on their own terms – joyfully, abundantly, soulfully, and healthfully!
You are a powerful Creator with the Presence of the Divine living within you, as you, and through you. What has been created can be uncreated! One of my daily affirmations from Susan Shumsky’s book, Instant Healing, is this:
Let your healing be a journey of love rather than a battle to be won. Ultimately, whatever choice you make will be the right one for you. Trust that! Lorraine Cohen www.lorrainecohen.com
“I AM transformed, whole and well, and in perfect health NOW.”
Time to Release Self Downing Teach Your Daughter to See the Beautiful Woman She Is Tova Garr
asked younger and older women how their
It is hard to find a woman today who completely and
mothers spoke to them about their bodies. Some
whole-heartedly loves her body. In a world where
of the phrases that were shared with me are:
magazines, television shows, and commercials tell us how
“Don’t eat too much. Watch your weight.” “That will make you fat, don’t eat that.” “If you keep eating like that you will look like me.” “My thighs are too big, I need to lose 20 pounds.”
we are “not enough” (not good enough, not skinny enough, not pretty enough), it is hard to feel adequate. In the face of all these harmful messages that surround us, there is one thing that can change the picture… You! One of the most important factors in the relationship your daughter has with her body is how you feel about
“If only I could lose 20 pounds, then I would feel good.”
yours. Even if you are careful not to say negative things
“I miss the days when I was young and beautiful.”
appearance, size and weight. She takes her cues from you.
“I can’t let myself eat that cake, I’m on a diet.”
So what can you do? How can you help your daughter
“I’m watching my weight. I hate these love handles.” “I am going to stop eating until I fit into my favorite jeans.” How do these phrases resonate with you? What were your
around her, she hears you. She sees how you relate to your
reject society’s harmful messages? How will you help her connect to her inner strength and confidence, and help her feel good about her body? What part can you play in helping her to develop a positive body image?
body image experiences like while you were being raised?
Here are 4 steps that you can take today to help your
Please take a moment and think about the relationship
daughter develop positive body image:
you have with your body right now. How are you speaking about it in front of your daughter?
Have an open honest conversation with your daughter about what we see in our media. DON’T LECTURE. Ask
We are all a reflection of the culture and environment in
her what she thinks about what she is seeing and how it
which we grew up.
relates to her. Share the goals of media and advertising,
Our mothers, for better or worse, will always play a large part in shaping who we are and how we see ourselves. The same is true for your daughter.
and what they are hoping to gain with their message. Make sure this isn’t a one-time conversation, but ongoing. Admit your own challenges with your body and why. If this is something you are struggling with, share with
124 BellaMia August 2015
her that you know you sometimes put yourself down and you wish you didn’t. Maybe she can help support you in pointing out when you are out of alignment. This could be a good way to teach her how to support someone in a compassionate, loving way. Share with her how different people are, each one made uniquely like no other, and all in the image of God. There are more body types and shapes than one can count. Comparing ourselves to others most often results in disappointment and self downing.
what her body looks like and her food choices. As your daughter continues to grow, societal pressures to conform will increase. You don’t need to solve all of your body issues to make sure that you aren’t passing them on, but you do need to have an open and honest conversation with your daughter about them. Encourage your daughter to be grounded and confident in who she is and the gifts that she possesses! Tova Garr www.tovagarrr.com
Compliment your daughter on her wisdom, her kindness, and her brilliance. Do not measure her by
The Inner-Guided Life Rosemary Bredeson
Do you ever feel like everybody is talking at you? Are you bombarded by suggestions for how to run your life or what you should be doing? Would you like to change that? You may or may not be able to change what comes at
to trust. On September 11, 2001 I had just dropped my husband off at the airport. I was driving home while listening to a CD. I heard a voice inside of my head say, Turn on NPR. I wondered what that was about but I distinctly heard the voice again say, Turn on NPR. I turned on NPR (National
you but you can change whether or not you listen! You
Public Radio) and heard what was happening just before
have everything that you need to know inside of you right
the second plane hit the tower. I was able to turn around
now. You also have a lot of voices in your head that belong
and retrieve my husband from the airport. There was no
to other people. Your parents. That second grade teacher.
logical reason to switch off the CD but something inside of
The person who broke up with you in high school. The
me was tuned into more than my little mind could know.
trick is to discern the source of the voice you are hearing
That is what your Inner Guidance System does for you.
and to choose consciously whether or not to listen.
It brings you information that you might not realize is
Your personal Inner Guidance System doesn’t criticize,
available to you, that you might not know you know.
judge or belittle. It is very matter-of-fact and points you
Everyone has what we call intuition, yet not every one of
in the direction of your next step. It is when you start to
us has learned to trust it. Do you pay attention to those
question yourself, to doubt your inner wisdom, that you
inner tickles? Do you practice listening inside? This is an
trip yourself up or even paralyze yourself into inaction.
empowering tool that you always have.
Learning to trust your inner voice takes practice. Start today in little ways to ask questions and look inside for the answers. Then act on the answers that you get.
Once you have learned to trust that Inner Guidance System in small instances, you can graduate to the bigger questions. Which job is the best one for me to take at
Start with driving questions. Is it better for me to take
this time? Which eating program is the healthiest one for
route A or route B? Go with the first impression that you
me to follow? Which coach is the one that is best for me
feel. Don’t analyze. Don’t question why. Just follow the
to hire? The answers might not always come in positive
energy of the feeling. You may never know the why but
ways. Sometimes you will get the feeling about what NOT
that’s okay. It might be that you avoided an accident. Or
to choose. If you ask and get the sense that the choices
you may see some natural beauty that you would have
considered feel dark, heavy or stuck, then the answer
missed the other way. It doesn’t matter - you are learning
might be that it is not time to choose. Also, consider that
126 BellaMia August 2015
those are not the only options. Be open to the possibility
you choose to give away your power. You are ultimately
that there is something more for you to learn and that
the one who is at choice about the direction you are going.
patience is the lesson for the moment.
You might feel that you are a victim of circumstance, but
Learning to trust your inner wisdom requires that you accept responsibility for your own life. If someone outside of you is giving you advice or telling you what to do, you
you are the one who chooses how you will respond. Listen to your own Inner Guidance System. It knows which direction is the best one for you to choose. You can trust it!
can always blame them if things donâ€™t go as you planned.
If you are the one who is making the choices about your
actions, then you are accepting that it is YOUR life. The reality is that YOU are the one in the driverâ€™s seat, even if
Turn Down for What? Christine Miskinis
Just as in the song “Turn Down for What,” by DJ Snake and Lil Jon shouting out this message, it reminds us of a culture that can be self-destructive. “Turn down” is thought of as sobering up but my interpretation is deeper. It’s meaning turn down the noise of the world and tuning in to your Soul. There is deep fulfillment that comes from knowing your own self. This is not just referring to selfawareness but the development of a practice where one is
your life singing it every day? For just a moment, imagine being presented with a difficult question, a risky opportunity, or a life-changing decision and taking only a few moments to receive a clear and powerful answer. Would you want to know how?
in daily communion with the sound of the Soul versus the
The Beginning Practice for Knowing your Soul.
noise of the World.
Close your eyes and turn on your inner-vision by looking
People seek to be in relationships, one of the most
towards your third eye.
significant relationships that we can foster is the one within ourselves. When our five senses support us in navigating our way in the world, it is the sixth sense that connects us to being back home. [Being back home refers to our sense of completeness with our body and soul.] We
Breath of Life: It sounds so simple but pay attention to how you are breathing. This is an inside window to see how you are currently exchanging with life. Try slowing down your breath to match the pulse.
reach this sixth sense is the place of Power, Peace, Passion
Put up your Antenna: Imagine a large antenna attached
to the top of your head, turn it on. Next, pull in your
What does it means to be connected to your Soul? Have you asked yourself these questions? What if you could begin each day connected to your Soul’s Purpose? What if you could “see” the world differently with your eyes closed? What if you could see the truth without doubt? What if you could tune-in to your own heart’s song and live 128 BellaMia August 2015
energy like sound waves back into your antenna. As women we tend to deposit our energy in people, places and things we care about but it’s most powerful when we have all our energy within us. Think of it as pulling back your power. LIGHT it UP: Connecting to Source. Envision a beautiful golden ray of light that makes direct contact with your Antenna and then flows through every circuit and cell of your body. Feel the fullness of this frequency and Hum to the Sound.
Plug IN to Earth: Imagine a grounding chord that drops deep into the center of the earth, now plug it
here as desired. Finally, ask for a message, sign or Song. Turn off the station when you are ready, return and record
in. Feel the pull of gravity and the support of the earth
your findings in a book. Pay special attention to the SONG
beneath you. Breathe in and pull up the energy, let it
that came through and what it means to you. Record your
cycle through and back down and out again. Receive and
Discoveries and then go and Rock it Out, Woman!
Release in this energetic exchange with life.
Find the time every day to nurture your Soul through this
Select a Station: Ask for guidance on which station to
form of connection and you will ultimately experience a
tune-in into for the day. Feel the pulse of the station
change in your world. Life becomes more meaningful and
that you’d like to play, then travel to that space inside your
joyful when you are living from your Soul’s path. The more
body and ask your Inner Voice to meet you there.
committed you are to knowing your true self, the more you
Surrender to your Soul: Here’s where you will ask for guidance. Remain open and curious to the sounds, sights and sensations that you experience. If there is static, just stay with it and turn the dial until the connection is clear.
will be blown away by the love, compassion, and wisdom. Have Fun and Rock it out! Christine Miskinis Women’s Essence Coach www.rockitoutwoman.com
Play the Record & Rock it Out: Spend as much time
130 BellaMia August 2015
Get in touch with your shapeshifting abilities. Connect, create, and celebrate you.
No Briefcases Required
Hemal Radia Gina Hussar
Many thousands around the world
As I prepared to set out in search of a heart-centered,
turn to Hemal Radia to make their
successful entrepreneur to feature this month, Hemal
dreams come true. He is one of the best in the world at
immediately popped into head. As entrepreneurs, it’s very easy to get caught up in the rat
teaching Manifesting & Law of Attraction. race; in the “shoulds.” He has been described as a ‘Super’ Coach, Mentor and is
With the barrage of marketing emails piling into the inbox
the Author of the fantastic book “Find You, And You Find
and the giant sales industry called facebook, Hemal Radia
Everything: The Secrets to the Law of Attraction”.
did something that is almost unheard of these days- he
And lucky for me, he is also a friend. 132 BellaMia August 2015
grew a successfully business organically.
I sat down with Hemal for a virtual coffee date to find out how he did it. . .and how you can too. Here are the highlights of our chat:
success. Over the years I have had people approach me asking for me to write a book, do live events (including in Las Vegas
Gina: You know a little something about organic growth!
at the Trump International, Australia and London), create
Can you share how you were able to grow a loyal following
T-shirts with my quotes, write magazine articles, have me
WITHOUT spending thousands of dollars on marketing?
on their shows and much more, which all happened. I also
Hemal Radia: I was very passionate about what I was sharing, and yes, at the time I didn’t spend a dime on marketing or advertising. At the time I also didn’t have a big budget.
had my followings on social networks such as Facebook and Twitter grow to sizable levels and a fan even created a “Hemal Radia Appreciation Group” on Facebook where they share my quotes. Much of what I teach is about the ENERGY of ourselves.
I was just very receptive and open-minded. People would
The thing to ask yourself is what is the energy that YOU
message me questions and I saw it as a learning process
have about yourself and what you are offering? Is it
where I could benefit from those interactions in terms of
infectious? If not, what can you tap into that you really
my own skill-set for when I would be charging – which is
believe in about yourself and what you are offering which
exactly what happened. And then later I created an online
can become very positively infectious?
group coaching program (Manifesting Excellence www. hemalradia.com/manifesting) for people to work with me and have their questions answered. This was especially important because as I progressed, I couldn’t answer all the questions that were being sent in. And so if people’s questions were important enough to them, they could try out my group dynamic for $1. It also turned into a great screening process in that if the answer they were looking for wasn’t worthy of them investing a
Gina: Great advice. What are some of your best tips for attracting the RIGHT clients? Hemal: It is interesting that you ask this question because a client shared last week that she had heard that prospects and clients reflect our own challenges and she was having trouble selling her coaching services to people because they were being indecisive – which she said was a trait that she herself had!
dollar, then perhaps it wasn’t worthy of someone (me)
Questions to ask yourself in relation to attracting the
spending time in answering it.
RIGHT clients (in addition to your answers, notice
I believe that if you are passionate about what you are offering, ethical and with integrity, and ideally the better you can communicate, the better it is. People will want to hear what you are offering and also will want to tell others – and this is what was happening. My marketing got better over time, but because people connected with the spirit of what I was offering, it grew very quickly. “If people believe in something enough, they will do anything to support it. And if you are offering them the right service or product with the right integrity, you are ticking more and more of the boxes for them to support you.” And when they are believing in you, they are also more likely to be committed and invested with you and your
also what feelings come up within you about them. For example if it is about offering a great service but if you feel unworthy or ‘not good enough’, explore and resolve the incongruence): Connecting to What’s Out There: What am I offering? How am I looking to serve/help others? How will they benefit from me? Is this something that will REALLY help them? Or is this just about something that I love doing that I’m trying to find a market for? Connecting to Yourself: 133
What do you feel your PURPOSE is in doing this?
So, line up the vision and the energy, and go!
What gift or talent do you believe you have in offering what
Gina: I know you pretty well and I am always impressed by
you do? If you don’t believe you have a gift or talent: IF you
your instincts. Business is so deeply connected to instinct.
did have one, what would it be? (Pretend you have one if
What are your suggestions for those times when we have
you need to in answering the question)
a big opportunity in front of us and maybe our instincts
What would those you have worked with or know you say are your greatest talents and abilities? (Of course, if it is
are telling us to back off? How do we tell the difference between instinct and fear?
a product you are offering rather than a service, you can
Hemal: This is a very good question because in some
apply the same questions in relation to that)
spiritual circles (including in Law of Attraction circles) they
Now Re-connecting to What’s Out There: Now, having thought about the above, who would really value and benefit from working with you? Who is just crying out to benefit from you? Who is absolutely perfect for you to work with? If you were able to now clearly communicate about what you can do, who wouldn’t hesitate to work with you right away?
say “only go for what feels good”. When we feel something or have an instinct to go a certain way, that end instinct is as a result of our beliefs, including many unconscious beliefs. It is like when we are around someone and “something doesn’t feel right”. And we may choose not to interact with this person, and that is a valid response. However, especially when having a situation with a big opportunity, like you are asking here, what I encourage you
The above questions help you get clarity about yourself
to do is to dig a bit deeper. Ask yourself questions about
and what you are offering which not only helps you in how
the feeling/instinct. Sometimes all may not be as it seems
you position yourself in your mind and the market, but you
from the feeling. More on that in a moment, but firstly
benefit energetically from the process also.
what questions to ask…
I have had experience in working with myself and with
Questions such as:
others in shifting energy that clients start phoning up or being in touch to work with you that you had never heard of right after you do processes like this. NOT that I’m suggesting that you sit back and wait! I am just letting you know how powerful your energy is.
What specifically doesn’t feel good to me here? What emotion am I feeling? Why am I feeling it? Is it reminding me of something in my past? If so, is there any suggestion that this present moment opportunity is
“You are cleaning up your energy about what you offer
like what happened in the past? Or is it that it’s not and it
such that you become more attractive to those already
is just similar to it (hence making me feel this way)? And if
looking for you.”
so, can I disconnect the past feelings and now focus on this
What if there is a whole world out there wanting to transform their lives (as well as your own) just WAITING
opportunity in the present moment and evaluate it minus those other feelings?
for you to communicate your message (including
Is it because I am anxious or fearful of something else,
energetically) for them to start having what you are
such as the future?
offering right away?
Do I feel that if I go ahead with this that I will lose out
What if all your grandest goals are just waiting for you to
in some way? So could it be that the opportunities are
take the steps for them to happen?
actually very valid and good, but I am scared that it might
By us taking the forward steps, we put ourselves in a better position to receive what is due for us. 134 BellaMia August 2015
change dynamics in my current life or something else? For example a fear of success – “If I go down this path then
something will change that I am fearful of the consequence of, such as the dynamics with my partner, my family if I make a lot of money” etc.
have been through similar experiences to themselves. Another aspect to this is many have been through a separation or divorce and have dealt with that emotional
Realise that all this reveals your PERCEPTIONS, not
and financial burden as well as restarting life as a single
necessarily the reality of how it will go (though of course
mom and are deeply motivated to create a life of financial
your perceptions and beliefs influence how you perform).
abundance and freedom for themselves and their family.
What you are doing now is identifying what is happening
One of the deepest motivators we have is for our survival
within you on a deeper level, recovering that information,
and well-being as well as for those that we intimately care
and creating an effective plan so that if you choose to go
for this big opportunity, you make it work.
Something else that is sometimes the case is that women
So just because sometimes something feels scary or “feels
hadn’t been the breadwinner in their household for a while
bad” it doesn’t necessarily mean that you should reject it
as they had been parenting whilst their partner had been
right away. Explore your feelings and your instincts and
working. And now, whether they are in that relationship or
what specifically they are about. They are generally based
not, they are having to still balance the priorities of being a
on beliefs and past programming.
good parent, whilst ALSO making time and having energy
It is not to say that they are not valid or accurate, but by
to run a business and have it flourish and succeed.
digging a bit deeper you understand why you are feeling
Whether through positive stimulation or through present
about this the way you are and it confirms that you
moment need, this drives them to expand and grow. It
shouldn’t take this opportunity, or you realise that they
may even perhaps be one of the most stressful phases
are more about the past and bear little or no reflection on
of their lives, but I have seen how it can stimulate them
this lucrative present-moment opportunity and that you
to new levels and to a life beyond what they would have
should take it.
thought for themselves before. I love to see a woman step
Gina: Love that. And I remember you telling me once that I was making things up. I was torn about a decision
into her power; to see challenge become a catalyst for incredible growth.
and you told me that I was assigning fear and sadness to
When we have an important enough WHY, such as
a situation that hadn’t even happened yet! In reality, the
ourselves and our family’s livelihoods, we go on to create
situation could take place and it may end up being peaceful
lives and lifestyles beyond what we thought of as possible.
and exactly what I needed. So often we choose to assign negative possibilities. I always tell my clients to rework their thoughts so that their “what ifs” are amazing! Moving on to the juicy stuff. Because this is Bella Mia, I have to ask --you have worked with a lot of fantastic female entrepreneurs. (ahem ;) What have you found to be
Women are fantastic at connecting to their “why!” Gina: Thank you. I couldn’t agree more. Not only do we often find ourselves balancing parenthood, marriage and business building, but we try to do it with a smile and, at least in my case, in killer stilettos. =)
some of the innate gifts that women possess that can allow
Find out more about Hemal Radia and get your FREE
them to truly expand and lead?
chapters from his book at hemalradia.com/freegift
Hemal: Good question! Yes, I have worked with many great female entrepreneurs as well as been on many summits and radio shows with them. Of course we are generalising a little bit here but many of the great gifts include their ability to empathise deeply, connect with people – particularly other women who are/ 135
No Briefcases Required
Power Play Umoh Luna Playing is something we think of as frivolous or a luxury
you the first shot at addressing new trends and unfulfilled
that we will get to after we are done working. Consider a
needs in the marketplace. Play makes everything flow like
different option. Play is serious business!
magic. It’s like lube for your life;)
A client told me that my branding mojo was brilliant
I asked my intuition what I needed to do to make more
and my copywriting was marvelous. Yet for her the most
money. The answer I got had nothing to do with work,
valuable thing I taught her was to dance and play. When
wealth consciousness or business strategy.
she did, the clients just started to come to her. That is the power of play. I want to invite you to consider play just as important as building your list or networking. When you have fun and play you are raising your vibration and frequency like nobody’s business. Joy and prosperity are tightly and intricately linked.
It was to open my heart and be willing to receive. Doing something fun with no end goal in mind is the most powerful way to access this. So I’ve been following my own advice and taking my own medicine. Sure enough clients and opportunities are flowing in. I even did some dancing before writing this and listened to my favorite tribal tunes while writing. This
Doing what ignites your soul and what you enjoy most are
helped me access my wild wisdom. It also made writing
powerful money magnets. When you are in your joy and
easy and a whole lot
pleasure you are attractive, radiant and on fire. This will
always make you stand out from the crowd and shine the spot light on you. From this place of power you naturally attract high quality clients and golden opportunities. Another reason to play is that is gives you space and perspective. When you step away and play, you get out of your head and clear the decks. You come back energized and open. When you are open, you can access things that
For most of us living our purpose and being of service is important. However if you truly want to be of service to all you must first be of service to yourself. Taking care of yourself, nourishing yourself with pleasure and enjoying yourself at the highest level is how you will have the greatest capacity to serve others.
you wouldn’t be able to receive otherwise. Fresh and
Here are 3 ways to bring more play and pleasure into your
innovative ideas come to you, magical coincidences pop
work and business.
up and you hear the soft stirrings of your soul. You can get in touch with your true calling and uncover your purest
Think Outside the Box!
Don’t assume things have to be done the way they always
You can see niches and nuances emerging that other may
have. Ask yourself how can I do this in a new and different
miss. You sense subtle shifts in the marketplace. This gives 136 BellaMia August 2015
way? How can I make this more fun or pleasurable? Why not have a business meeting on the beach or take a call
in the bathtub? Remember itâ€™s your life and biz! You can create it anyway you want. Schedule Your Pleasure. Make an appointment to do something for the pure pleasure of it. Put it on the calendar and make it nonnegotiable. Treat your playtime like the sacred treasure that is so you can reap the rewards! And you can give it an
Mix and Match! Find ways to mix pleasure into your business and match your work time with play time. For example always throw in a few extra days of play time on a business trip. Or give yourself twenty minutes of play time for every 2 hours of work. You will be amazed at how much more you get done and how much more energy you have!
important sounding name like development skills training.
Keep an open mind and be willing to do something
That way no will question you and what youâ€™re actually
different and decadent. You deserve it! Now go play!
doing. Plus you will have a silly little secret to make you smile!
Umoh Luna Sacredbranding.com
No Briefcases Required
The Essence of Support in the Workplace, Starts with You Cecelia Dawe-Gillis It’s all about you, yes you. It starts with you. And it ends
balance you are able to handle the day-to-day stresses
of work and home better. Productivity is enhanced and
On their death bed, no one is heard to say, I wish I’d worked harder. This is particularly true in Bonnie Ware’s Regrets of the Dying. One frequently cited regret is:” I wish I didn’t work so hard.” How does a person work less hard so they can create space that allows them to do what’s important outside of work? Things like spending time with friends, loved ones, and most of all making time for themselves? Consider one or all of these three simple steps to supporting yourself in the workplace and ultimately in life. Step 1: Say Yes
people are happier – you’re happier. By starting each day with a simple centering activity, you can better handle what comes your way throughout the day more effectively. You’re already juggling a lot of balls. Being centered and focused allows you to be in a position to handle the myriad of things that come your way with grace and ease. It’s no longer a struggle or a chore to complete projects. The requests that come on top of what you are already doing become less burdensome. Now, isn’t that a pretty good investment in you? You may be saying to yourself, “Where do I fit this centering and focusing thing into my already demanding
Once you’ve assembled an amazing team and gotten the
day?” My reply is what is the cost to you for not doing so?
appropriate delegation of duties down, we enter into the
You get to choose how much or how little time you carve
world of Say Yes. In this space we say yes when someone
out of your day to get centered. When you get centered
offers to help us in whatever way they can. So often we
you get less chaos and overwhelm. If you were to use a
reply, “I’ve got it.” Or, the polite “No, thank you.” How
cost benefit analysis you’d easily see that the cost of setting
different would your life be if you took the person offering
time aside for yourself at the start of the day is worth the
to help up on their offer? Remember, they are giving you
benefit of now doing so. And all you did was take a few
a gift of their time and talents. This allows you to leverage
minutes to literally set the tone for what’s to come.
your time to do something else – something that only you can do. Would you be able to leave work on time, or at
Step 3: Set the Tone
least a little earlier than you usually leave? Better yet, you
When you model the essence of personal support in the
have an opportunity to spend time doing something that
workplace you set the tone for what’s possible. This
really supports you. Perhaps going to the gym, getting a
applies to whether you work in or out of your home. It’s
massage, any self-care activity for that matter, or simply
a matter of how much you value and appreciate having
spending more time with family or friends. By merely
a healthy work-life balance. You get to set boundaries
saying yes, you are on a path to greater balance.
around when and where you eat lunch, how you handle
Step 2: SEEK BALANCE The bottom line is when there is a healthy work-life 138 BellaMia August 2015
reading and responding to work related email, text messages, and calls after normal work hours. Look at removing electronic devices from your bedroom.
Remember, bedrooms were designed for sex and sleep.
These are just a few steps you can take to set the tone for
When you get a good nightâ€™s sleep you are prepared to be
support yourself in the work place.
more effective the next day. Have you created a safe space where you can safely share your thoughts and feelings and
Remember, it starts and ends with you.
receive valuable feedback? Do you work inordinate hours
or do you give yourself and those around you permission
to end the work day at a reasonable time? When you answer each question in a way that honors who you are, you are well on your way to supporting yourself in the best way possible.
Mister Curry Amanda Rhymers
140 BellaMia August 2015
We had an exclusive opportunity to interview Damien
create for them is very different than my “artist” stuff,
Curry from the Los Angeles based group, Mister Curry
I learned a lot about arrangement, instrumentation,
& the Hug Emporium. Check out what this esteemed
sound design, and mixing in the process. The moment
musician, composer and producer has to say about making
that opportunity presented itself, I would just spend
music and loving life.
hours day after day, week after week writing and trying to
Have a listen, you’re in for a treat! - Mandy
prefect the work. Adding to that, working with different singers producing music for their songs – that was super
BellaMia: Please introduce us to your band! - Who are
important to getting a handle on my own creativity as well
your band members, and how long have you been playing
together? MisterCurry: My band is called Mister Curry and the Hug Emporium
BellaMia: What skills/personal attributes do you feel are most important to being successful? MisterCurry: Consistency and focus. That’s more
Right now there’s Jon Fan on Bass, Jason Moore on Drums,
important than talent, more important than resources,
Simeon Shigg on Keyboards, Elizabeth Lea on Trombone,
more important than anything else.
Vannessa Leveille on background vocals, and Jake Wilson on Tenor and Baritone Sax. We’ve been playing together on and off over the last few years in different projects around LA. BellaMia: Which music genre do you feel that your music mostly fits into? MisterCurry: I’d say probably Alternative R&B. It couldn’t be straight up Rock, or straight up R&B. A fusion of those styles with some other elements thrown in. BellaMia: Have you ever toured? If so, what was your experience? MisterCurry: Never! I would really dig that sooner than later. Before the year is up, I hope to have earned enough new fans to hit the road. BellaMia: Are you signed or independent? MisterCurry: I’m 100% independent at this point. BellaMia: What instruments do you play? MC: I play guitar, bass, keyboards, and assorted pots, pans and spoons… BellaMia: Tell us about the footwork behind your success.
BellaMia: What personal advice would you give to someone wanting to pursue this career? MisterCurry: Be patient and be persistent. And most importantly, BELIEVE in yourself!! If you want someone to pay you lots of many (or any money at all) for your work, you have to be dependable, honest, and you have to work your [a**] off. BellaMia: What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned while pursuing your dream? MisterCurry: That’s is OK to ask people for help. Networking and forming relationships is very important. BellaMia: How do you prepare for your performances prior to taking the stage? – Do you have any rituals? MisterCurry: I listen to the set over and over. Then I listen to a Stevie Wonder record (usually Fulfillingness’ First Finale or Talking Book) and sing those songs all the way through. BellaMia: How have you grown personally from your performances? MisterCurry: I stopped judging myself so harshly. People want to feel you be honest in your songs and convictions.
MisterCurry: I owe a lot of my current success to my
That wasn’t something I ever thought about before.
composing music for TV shows. Most people don’t know,
BellaMia: Which is the ultimate venue that you desire to
but I’ve been a composer for a few Emmy winning TV shows for the last 8 years. Though the style of music I
MisterCurry: Staples Center … Sold out crowd.
MisterCurry: Hearing Jimi Hendrix for the first time.
BellaMia: Between jam sessions, studio time and live
BellaMia: What are your top three songs on your playlist?
performances, which is your favorite and why?
MisterCurry: Right now… Hiatus Kaiyote – “Breathing
MisterCurry: I really dig jamming/rehearsing before a
Underwater”, Janelle Monáe – “Ghetto Woman”, and Mark
Ronson – “Daffodils” (ft. Kevin Parker).
BellaMia: Where do you find your inspiration to write
BellaMia: Please give us one random fun fact about you.
your songs? MisterCurry: Anywhere… the sky, wind, crazy people, love, frustration, chaos, pleasure….
MisterCurry: I dreamed of joining, working my [a**] off, and dying trying to become a Navy Seal since I was 14. BellaMia: What is the overall message that you want to
BellaMia: What is your favorite original song to perform?
deliver to the masses through your music?
MisterCurry: Hmm, right now it’s “Come Get Some Suga”,
MisterCurry: That it’s ok to be human and experience
but I’ve written a few albums worth of music since then,
love, pain, rejection, pleasure, and truth …. All outside of
soooooo… We shall see!
what the music industry force feeds us.
BellaMia: Which set of lyrics from your album, Alpha,
BellaMia: What’s next? What do we have to look forward
moves you the most?
to coming from Mister Curry?
MisterCurry: [from the song, “U Claim 2 B”] “I can’t
MisterCurry: Lots of shows and me putting new sounds
believe she just dropped an X like it ain’t [s***]. Who knew
into the air.
this trendy queen could ever think she was legit. It’d be a nasty mess if I let her get her way, she’ll lift that tiny dress up, but this is what I’ll say..” BellaMia: Which accomplished musician do you admire
Stay up to date with live performance information and Follow Mister Curry: Twitter: www.twitter.com/mistercurry Instagram : www.instagram.com/mistercurry
Facebook: www.facebook.com/mistercurry Check out the music on soundcloud:
MisterCurry: Frank Zappa or Stevie Wonder
BellaMia: What is your best childhood memory of music?
142 BellaMia August 2015
144 BellaMia August 2015
Cups of Consciousness Aleya Dao Increase Connection, Strength and Support After a busy summer filled with change take a deep breath and get ready to see the fruits of your labors bloom. In the spring of this year you may have hit a turning point in your life. Something deep inside you awoke and a new way of being was born. This inner change triggered shifts regarding
listening to this 9-minute meditation filled with energetic protocols/prayers/and sound healing/toning. Energetically locate the energetic fabric of connection within and around your divine line. Re-calibrate and reweave greater connection, strength, wisdom and mastery.
relationships, livelihood, your inner and outer home, and
Toning and light language to increase your inner support
how you express your creativity. Intolerance for unhealthy
behavior also spiked. Old patterns released and new ways of being bloomed. This fall you will begin to see the inner changes you
Allow your Higher Self to reweave the inner matrix of light within and around your divine line.
have made reflect into your outer life. Use this energetic
Increase your connection to the divine aspect of you.
protocol to cultivate greater inner connection, strength,
Listen to this meditation.
and support as you navigate new terrain and anchor in a new way of being.
Find greater support, connection, and strength by
Click Here to download the meditation audio file
Forgiveness and Karma Adrian Boniardi Understanding the relationship between ‘Forgiveness
than someone else) without being internally ready to truly
and Karma’ and their function in your present lifetime –
independently of individual beliefs systems.
The only forgiveness that truly counts and matters for
Upon birth we tend to forget almost everything we ever
our eternal self is silent. It is an inner experience; a quiet
knew about our true identity before birth, sometimes
acknowledgment with Existence (Life, Universe, God)
coming to the point of believing ourselves to be this
about the lesson just remembered; a sacred communion
temporary biological Earth suit we use to move around
this plane of existence. Still, children are being reported by their parents being born with greater awareness than their previous generations. Young parents are awakening to their offspring’s confessing their clear memories about their previous lifetime on Earth, in some cases even with verifiable details where they can remember how, where and when they “died” before. There are many workings within our higher soul’s purpose which are meant to remain away from our conscious awareness since they would be of no true relevance for this lifetime. Others though, are signs of a more aware state of consciousness, new to us; tools that we can utilize as spiritual triggers for further remembering. We have heard about ‘forgiveness’ as a positive spiritual virtue already for a while, but in this manner ‘forgiveness’ is interpreted (human perception/level of consciousness) and defined within a framework related with human emotions/beliefs (it is good/bad to forgive- human response/interpretation beliefs based), illogical that it could be in any other way… human logic. Real forgiveness is a symptom of healing and higher understanding; and contrary to what many might think it does not involve or require another, since one can say ‘I forgive you’ (sometimes is harder to forgive ourselves 146 BellaMia August 2015
We usually do not feel the need to forgive anything that was fun to feel and experience; on the contrary; forgiveness can often times come with the company of hurt, disappointment, drama; that is why it can require so much love from us, and usually comes after bitterness and grudge have already gone by. Forgiveness avoids Karma; it eliminates the need to repeat the hurtful teaching just received. Wikipedia online describes the spiritual concept of Karma like this: “Karma (Sanskrit: कर्म; IPA: [ˈkərmə]; Pali: kamma) means action, work or deed; it also refers to the spiritual principle of cause and effect where intent and actions of an individual (cause) influence the future of that individual (effect). Good intent and good deed contribute to good karma and future happiness, while bad intent and bad deed contribute to bad karma and future suffering. Karma is closely associated with the idea of rebirth in some schools of Asian religions. In these schools, karma in the present affects one’s future in the current life, as well as the nature and quality of future lives - or, one’s saṃsāra.” But in true there is no “bad” karma (human perception) nor need for any future suffering, there is instead a confused understanding about what karma Is and what
divine role it has in the greater bigger picture we all have;
you sometimes feel and wish that you could ‘make things
there is a self given second chance (karma) or no karma at
right again’? Sometimes we realize, and must accept and
all (task satisfactorily completed for all parties involved).
learn to let things go for the good, since at the time people
We create our own Karma -nobody does it for us- out of our own subconscious decision/choice (free will) throughout our existence by our own criticism and lack
may not be willing/emotionally able to work unresolved issues out, thus karma is automatically created by you or another to be dealt with at another better time.
of forgiveness toward ourselves and others. Trying to
At the moment, and based on the present event/s
repair the apparent damage we perceive we’ve personally
development to let things go and release them may be
caused, we ‘subconsciously’ re-create the experience/s
enough and the most loving action to take regarding the
(or its closest equivalent) as another opportunity to make
entire situation, even if out of pure compassion… But
a ‘healthier’ (“better?”) different choice than the one that
both parties will give each other another chance, next
produced the original outcome.
time around under both –totally unaware- mutual soul’s
Now we are becoming aware and remembering that our
identity is eternal and beyond our current physical form,
After all, we may have done this before… Can you
so if we can influence our future lifetimes by default we’re
also influenced by our previous lifetimes in the same way. Let me ask you something; when you have a big serious
Adrian Boniardi www.kissyourfearsgoodbyebook.com
disagreement with somebody you care about, whether you caused it (Cause) or are experiencing the (Effect) of it, don’t
Are you ready to
the skin youâ€™re in?
What if you fell deeply wildly in love with your body?
, itâ€™s possible
148 BellaMia August 2015
Possibilities • Purpose • Passion • • •
Gain clarity about your Next Step Clear the blocks to Abundance, Love, Success Master new strategies for Happiness
Together we will develop the Roadmap for you to Live Your Richest Life
Rosemary Bredeson The Scientific Mystic Spiritual Teacher/Mentor/Medium www.TheScientificMystic.com Rosemary@TheScientificMystic.com
+1 410-991-6139 149
Bellascope by Suzanne Taylor, Angel Channel - firstname.lastname@example.org
Aries 21 March - 20 April
Taurus 21 April - 21 May
Gemini 22 May - 21 June
New beginnings this Autumn as you
A last minute holiday gives you the
You are on top form this Autumn Gemini
renew your wedding vows, fall in love,
ability to recharge your batteries. You
as you experience a windswept shift
or talk about marriage. Your energy is
find yourself untangling a knot that has
within your emotional body freeing
committed to work projects, but your
been affecting your self-worth for a long
you from built up tensions which may
need for passion explodes all around
period of time perhaps linking back to
possibly lead to floods of tears. You are
you. Your daydreamers state enhances
a formal life. Your emotions balance as
ready to face your future feeling vibrant
your ability to write this term; your diary
you open your heart ready to accept
and vivacious, but do show your softer
is jam packed with dinner dates.
your future. Pat yourself on the back
side as you make plenty room for family
Taurean you have earned your stripes.
gatherings. Praise is given as you follow
Color: Yellow Keyword: Beauty Romance: An expensive dinner leads to love.
through with a project.
Color: Indigo Keyword: Higher Self Romance: Love meets on a bridge.
Lucky Color: White Keyword: Commitment Romance: Deep intimacy attracts wealth.
Cancer 22 June - 23 July
Leo 24 July - 23 August
Virgo 24 August - 23 Sept
Keeping the curtains shut tight may
Dreams do come true Leo and you will
You feel free this term to reevaluate your
be on the cards this month as you feel
certainly collect 200 as you pass go this
goals as you spend quality time working
a strong force of gravity pull at your
Autumn. A fast paced period as you take
on creating your vision board. Your airy
emotions, which may bring about a
center stage promoting your success
fairy sense of self may affect your wishes
need to relax, in order to recharge
will open a door involving intimacy.
- be sure to ground your energy which
your batteries. You are advised to stock
Make sure you act with pure heart not
will help you manifest perfectly! Have
up with nutritional foods to control
need as you explore your boundaries,
your dancing shoes at the ready as your
cravings. Internal focus involves
and relationship morals. Family life may
social life takes centre stage.
get tricky due to your high demand with
Lucky Color: Cream Keyword: Numbers Romance: Flirtation fluctuates involving a movie review.
Lucky Color: Burnt Orange Keyword: Balance Romance: Magnetic attraction locks your stare!
150 BellaMia August 2015
Lucky Color: Teal Keyword: Visualize Romance: Look out for that subtle invitation Virgo.
Libra 24 Sept - 23 Oct
Scorpio 24 Oct - 22 Nov
Sagittarius 23 Nov - 21 Dec
Confusion gets the better of you Libra
Pay close attention to your sacred heart
As the leaves start to blow down from
as you find everything is going down
this season as you express your deepest
the trees you will feel as though time
at the same time. Do not be alarmed as
emotions through writing, dancing, and
has stood still; life may seen dull and
your intuition is high; you are advised
meditation. You are being reminded
boring, but will start to speed up when
to spend time walking through your
to stick within your credit limit as you
an old flame, or two drive into town
thoughts wherethe answers will come
self indulge enhancing the richness of
this season. It is important to keep your
speedily to you. Keeping a journal
your beauty. Be honest with your heart,
focus on the here and now with the
and recording your dreams will free
and tell that special someone how you
understanding that satisfaction comes
you from unwanted setbacks. You feel
really feel as there may not be a second
when we learn to work on our inner love.
fashionable this Autumn as you enjoy a
Allow your inner child to shine.
Color: Royal Blue
Romance: Love speaks with a
Romance: Social networking
Lucky Color: Fawn Keyword: Gratitude Romance: An out of the blue romantic gesture takes you by surprise.
Capricorn 22 Dec - 20 Jan
Aquarius 21 Jan - 19 Feb
Pisces 20 Feb - 20 March
A fun and energetic month that
A spiritually charged season for you
A sensitive start to Autumn Pisces as
encourages you to take a leap of faith
Aquarian as your spirit longs for freedom.
your energy heightens you will feel
and believe in all that you do. There is
You will find yourself in flight mode in
overwhelmed with love feeling the need
not much that cannot be achieved within
your awake state, but also within your
to direct healing energy into our sacred
this period as creative thoughts flow
dream state as you enter our heavenly
earth, and our animal kingdom. A period
gracefully enhancing your home, and
realms through astral travel. Your airy
that will help you build and maintain
or working life. You will experience a
fairy energy will bring about fine dining
mental/emotional strength drowning
strong sense of wellness this Autumn as
with the opportunity to experience
out fear, and evaporating old morals
your highly charged motivational energy
translucent love making through honesty.
and belief systems. Your social self seeks
rubs off on others. A splash of color
A change of scenery will serve you well.
anew adventure; be open to receive your
Color: Sky Blue Keyword: Design Romance: Your smile catches someoneâ€™s eye.
Color: Baby pink/Grey Keyword: Active R omance: A group activity gets your heart pumping!
Color: Emerald Keyword: Magic Romance: A magical moment involves a wishing well 151
Body Image SOS Mary E. Pritchard, Ph.D., HHC Question Question: So this is my issue, I have this small bathroom, and a full length mirror against the wall, whenever I take
with anyone else in your house who shares that mirror. As you start to gain more confidence about your body and yourself, you can start removing the sticky notes and celebrate the beautiful woman you are just as you are right now. For more ideas, check out our #BeautifulMe campaign, launching in this issue!
my clothes off to shower, I see the side view of my body in
the mirror, I automatically look at the bulging mid center
I am so tired of dealing with the constant criticism running
and think I have to lose it, I’m so fat. I would love to throw
through my head about my body. It’s hard, because
out the mirror, and stop judging my belly, but I can’t do
sometimes I’m not even aware of it. I’m trying to be more
that. Any other ideas?
mindful about noticing those negative thoughts but then I
just find myself dwelling on them even more. Help!
I’d love for you to throw out your mirror – along with
your bathroom scale! – But I realize that tossing out
Ah, the Inner Critic (aka Inner Mean Girl). I have a few
your mirror may not be feasible, as you may need that
ideas for you. Thoughts become things and for us to
mirror for other things, like applying make-up or fixing
change the way we relate to our bodies, we have to change
your hair. This is what I want you to do. Have you ever
the thoughts in our head. So what do you do when you
heard of Operation Beautiful? The mission of Operation
still find that negative stuff creeping in? Meet the cancel
Beautiful is to post anonymous notes in public places for
button. You know those office supply stores with the big
other people to find – notes that would brighten their
red button? Envision that big red button (or use a stop sign
day. Something like “You are Beautiful.” I want you to
if that imagery works better for you). When your Inner
use this idea for your bathroom mirror. I challenge you
Mean Girl kicks in, say to yourself “cancel, cancel” and fill
to make several different sticky notes and post them all
your mind with an image of a big, red cancel button. Or
over the area of your bathroom mirror that displays your
if you prefer the stop sign image, then picture it vividly
midsection. As a psychologist, I know that the more we see
and say to yourself, “Stop!” The next step is to take your
certain messages, the more we start to believe them. So
list of things you feel about your body and highlight all the
these notes will help you feel better about yourself along
positive things. Next, examine all the negative things. Are
152 BellaMia August 2015
those remnants of your Inner Mean Girl talking? If so, do
The first step in transitioning to becoming a thoughtful
you still really feel that way or is it just some of that old
responder is knowing that there is always time. It doesn’t
programming coming out? If it’s old programming, let it
appear that way because with the habit of reaction, it
go. If there are still some negative feelings there, then it’s
can feel as if it’s all happening quickly, like it’s one big
time to transform those into positive feelings. For every
moment. Start to consider that the moments are actually
negative feeling, I want you to write down a positive one in
strung together and that each moment contributes to
its place. Okay. Now here comes the transformation part.
the passing of time. If you begin to think this way you
It’s time to make your BodyLove list. For every positive
can notice that in between the moments there is a small
feeling you wrote about your body, make a list of at least 5
space that you can begin to bring your attention to, pull
things you can do to make yourself feel that way. Let’s say
into your awareness. In that very small space you have
you want to feel luxurious in your body. Your five things
made a decision or given yourself permission. If you begin
might be: get a massage, get a facial, take a bubble bath,
to explore the experience from this perspective you can
sleep in satin sheets, and wear your favorite lingerie. Get
begin to see that you have allowed yourself a reaction. Your
the idea? Good luck and let us know how it goes!
thoughts moved quickly, feelings became generated and you made either an unconscious, or at times, conscious decision to react. It is impulsive and quick, often without
You are in Charge of You! By, Karen M Anderson, Licensed Psychotherapist
thought or clarity of what you truly feel or want to express. It can be an instinctual reaction to what has been said or triggered within you.
“What you are trying to do is get in the space between the
When I’m in conversations or conflicts with other people
feeling and the reaction and grow the space”
and I find myself getting frustrated, I tend to lose my cool. When that happens, I get heated and say things that I don’t mean. I think I mean them in the moment but many times after the exchange and I calm down I wish I hadn’t said what I said. I’ve lost friendships and relationships over this and have even gotten into trouble at work. Is there a way for this to stop? What can I do? ~ T.D
Mindfulness with your emotions is simply the difference between acting out your emotions from a place of reaction or simply allowing the emotions to arise, without the ‘need’ to do anything with them. It is learning to feel and experience them without reaction. Imagine yourself like a rock and the wave of emotion washing over you. The rock doesn’t change immediately; it shifts through time
as needed. Initially it remains sturdy and strong, the
There is a lot you can do because you are in charge of you!
composition holding firm. Over time, if required, gentle
With practice, you can be mindful with your emotions and
grooves become worn into or around the surface to allow
reactions and cultivate the practice of being a thoughtful
for easier flow. If you feel a response is required it is
intentional and responsive.
I know it sounds impossible, but consider the possibility
The mastery of becoming mindful with your emotions is
that you could become the master of your reactions. How
cultivated through daily practice. It is when you move from
would your life be different if you were able to slow down
being a student of this practice and into an apprentice
the moments that you experience with others so that your
does the skill, the muscle for it, begin to develop. It’s
participation was from a deeply centered place? Not only
important to understand the difference. A student is one
is it possible, but it also puts you in charge of you in a
who reads and studies the concepts; an apprentice is one
powerfully authentic way. It transcends experiences with
who takes the studies and begins to apply the principles
others and puts you into full-on accountability in all areas
to her daily life. When you become an apprentice, the
of your life.
intention and energy of the experience conspires with you
to bring you mastery. With practice, you will transition
The reality is you are the Director of Your Life. You are
from one who reacts, to one who responds.
going to dictate how this deeply caring man is going to be
These steps will help you get started: 1. If you find yourself with a swirl of emotions going on and you aren’t sure how you feel or what you want to say, give yourself permission to return to the conversation. Simply, calmly state that you don’t think you can discuss or participate in the conversation at this time and agree to a specific time when you can complete the conversation. Use the time in between to process your feelings and generate a thoughtful response.
with you, how he is going to show up and how he will treat you. You also get to create the things he says to you and how he says them. Yes, you are that powerful! Firstly, you have to set the stage of how you would like to feel with him. Work on turning your fear into trust and faith. Practice being the energy of whatever it is you want to be or feel in that relationship. For example if you want to be viewed as the most amazing woman, then be that energy. Create that energy and belief inside of you. You are, after all, an infinite being who has trillions of lifetimes,
2. When you do find yourself fired up, know that it takes
being everything and anything. You get to choose who you
your body 20-30 minutes to physiologically return to a
calm baseline, assuming you aren’t generating more of the emotions in the meantime. Breathe deeply and ground
That commitment you would like from him will not be
yourself to get re-centered.
what puts out the fear. Your belief in yourself is what will
3. Know that it is a practice. As the expression goes, Rome wasn’t built in a day, so be gentle with yourself when you slip up. Use self-forgiveness and self-compassion when it
eliminate the fear and give you trust! Be complete as you are, with how things are now. There are few things in life as sexy and inviting as a confident
doesn’t go as planned.
woman that is secure in her position.
You definitely do not need a commitment from him to
By Angela Gower-Johnson
know that you are amazing, the best thing ever and to be happy and secure!
Question “What should a person do if her heart is wide open and
Trust YOU! Trust that you get to have the relationship of
she feels love for a man who also cares deeply for her, but
your dreams! I am here for you! I have your back! You can
he’s not ready to commit? How does she navigate when her
book your free Discovery Session with me here.
heart feels deeply and she begins to feel afraid? Does she pull back? Does there need to be a commitment?” Oregon Answer Firstly, I would look at what commitment means to you. Dig deep and look at what it is you are looking to get from ‘commitment’. Are you looking for security? Do you want to feel like you are special and a better choice than any other woman? Maybe you would like to feel like you are the only woman for this man. You need to be clear what it is that you want from commitment. If it’s monogamy, then you have to delve deeper into that find out what it is that you are looking for feel. 154 BellaMia August 2015
Victoria Wynn ictoria’s journey in life and business all have one common theme; Designing experiences. From beautifying our surroundings with simplistic and upscale interior design, to assisting businesses with her 20 years as a graphic designer/ brander to her most personally meaningful endeavor the past 5 years, a life coaching business rightly named, “The Lies I Tell Myself Project”. She guides people through a process that takes the lies and resistance out of life and brings truth and goals to light.
Photographer: Chris Forbes MUA: Heather Shelton Model: Victoria Wynn
Thank You Special Thank you to: Our Cover Models, check them out on pages 1, 2, 3 Laurence, Doris, Helen, Sunshine, Charlene, Umoh, Siri, Mary, Linzie, Marie Stephen Camargo, Photographer Adrian Boniardi, Video Beautiful Me Team: Dr. Mary Pritchard Rebecka Eggers Amanda Rhymers Charlene Maguire All the Body Programs who joined us Susan Jocobs Kokura, India Consultant A special thank you to: Amanda Rhymers, Editor, Section Director Laurence Yhuello, Advisory Consultant Sharon Otness, Lifestyles Director Dr. Mary Pritchard, Me Director Rebecka Eggers, International Womanâ€™s Director Linnea Duvall, Fashion Director Gina Hussar, Business Director
156 BellaMia August 2015
158 BellaMia August 2015
Published on Jul 27, 2015
Published on Jul 27, 2015
BellaMia Mag is a holistic women's magazine that brings Living Well, Holistic & Transformation to life. Our motto is “Every Woman is Beautif...