Page 1

Denver Metro Area

July 19, 2010 Published by Mountain View Publishing, LLC




Chapter 7 or 13

Bankruptcy (303) 525-9531 email:


Lawrence R. Hill, Attorney at Law 1901 W. Littleton Blvd. | Littleton, CO 80120

20 years experience | affordable | fast | personal service Weareadebtreliefagency.WehelppeoplefilebankruptcyundertheBankruptcyCode.

Do you suffer from: Type 2 Diabetes? Psoriasis? Acne? Breast Pain? Overactive Bladder? Post-Menopausal Low Sex Drive? Horizons Clinical Research Center, LLC is conducting clinical research studies of investigational treatments for these conditions. As a participant in one of our research studies you will receive: - All clinic visits, lab assessments, medical exams, and investigational treatments free of charge - Also compensation for your time and travel

To learn more call 303.399.4067 or e-mail

Proven Tips, Tools and Tactics To Make Money From Home Do you want to become a member of the world’s most elite club on the internet for making money?

From Mack Michaels: “This system makes me at least $171,168.06 per month and you can start using it 15 minutes from now!” For a FREE preview with videos - go to:

It’s something every first grader learns about, and it’s something we should all be concerned about--the Earth’s rainforests. This week we take a look at the wonder and beauty of one of Earth’s most amazing biomes. • Earth’s rainforests are a natural wealth of resources and wildlife. Of all the earth’s many species, over half are found in the rainforests alone. That’s over 50 percent of Earth’s species in an area that takes up only 2 percent of Earth’s surface. Estimates project more than half of the rainforest could be destroyed by 2030. • Rainforests are located in three major areas of the world: Indonesia and Malaysia, Central America and the Amazon River Basin, and Africa, all areas along the equator. Because of this, the average temperature in the rainforests never drops below 64º F (17º C). • Did you know that rainforests are responsible for turning over a large portion of Earth’s carbon dioxide? The many plants in the rainforest help turn carbon dioxide into 28 percent of the world’s oxygen. • Rainforests get over 80 inches of rain each year. Because of this, many plants have adapted to prevent the large amounts of moisture from adversely affecting them. Some plants have what could be called drip spouts that help excess water run off. Other plants have an oily coat that also keeps excess water at bay. • Rainforests can be broken down into four major layers. Everything begins at the forest floor. Most of the floor is clear of plants because very little sunlight penetrates that far down. Any leaves or animal waste that fall to the floor decompose very quickly due to the lack of light and high humidity levels, leaving the area bare. continued on page 2!

* * * * * *

Over 500 hours of video and audio The most complete coaching club online You can start at any skill level Live phone and email support Everything you need is in one place Work from the comfort of your home

Issue #1146

“A real pro gym for everyone”

MMA CARDIO boxing, kickboxing BOXING amateur boxing team JUI JITSU MUY THAI CROSSFIT Classes start as low as $49.99!

NOW OFFERING KIDS AND ADULT CLASSES Mention this ad and receive one free training class


11091 E MISSISSIPPI AVE, AURORA , 303-366-0629

Heirlooms Antique Mall

1947 S Havana Aurora, CO 80014 303.337.6880 Mon-Thu & Sat 10-6 Fri Noon-6 Sun 11-5

Quality That Lasts!

Front Page Classifieds

Queen Pillowtop

New King

5-PC New Microfiber

Pottery Barn Style

A Brand New Queen Pillowtop Pillowtop Mattress Set Mattress Set with warranty. Foundation with Warranty. $255 $159. Delivery Available. Can Deliver. 303-758-1312 303-758-1312 Living Room Set. With warranty Beautiful New Panel $599 Can Deliver. Bedroom Set - $1799 Call - 303-758-1312 Stunning Espresso raised panel window frame. Solid wood New Leather Sofa In original carton with warranty. dovetailed drawers with felt lining, unique nickel hardware. $599 Can Deliver. 7-Piece Set includes Bed, 303-758-1312 Dresser, Mirror, Nightstand, and 5-Drawer Chest! Beautiful Cherry Formal List Price $5,800 sell: $1799 Dining Set - 8 Piece Call 303-758-1312 Table with leaf, 2 arm charis, 4 side chairs. NEW!!! All in original $599 Brand New All Wood boxes. All SOLID Hardwood! 5 PC Bedroom Set Lists for over $3000, must sell In box with manufacturer’s $899. Delivery available. Hutch warranty. Can Deliver. available. Call 303-758-1312 303-758-1312

Congratulations on Your Engagement! Choose an Officiant that will build your ceremony the way you want! YOUR Ceremony - YOUR Way!


Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area

Page 2

INDEPENDENCE DAY (continued) • The second layer is the understory, which gets more light than the forest floor and is home to many plants and animals, such as snakes, jaguars and trees that can reach up to 60 feet (18 m) tall. It is very humid in the understory, and there is little air movement.

• The canopy layer is next, formed of 98- to 131-foot (30-40 m) trees that comprise a thick canopy that covers everything below. A majority of the rainforest’s life lives in the lush and plentiful canopy layer, and some species never leave it.

This means animals like the Bengal tiger, cies of butterflies and 400 species of birds king cobra and the Javan silvery gibbon reside in a single hectare (2.47 miles) of will all lose their homes. As of 2008, there rainforest, and in less than an hour each were less than 2,500 silvery gibbons in day, all of this is destroyed. the wild, and some estimates show that at least 50 percent of the gibbons’ population • To further put it into perspective, every year we lose a piece of the rainforest will disappear in the next decade, putting twice the size of the state of Florida. this creature in danger of extinction. • The world’s largest rodent makes its home • The rainforest is also home to many species that are vulnerable or endangered, in the Amazon rainforest. The capybara and deforestation affects them. Pollutants can grow up to 4.3 feet (1.3 m) long, and and waste from industry and deforestaalthough some have been said to weigh tion degrade the water quality in places up to 200 pounds (90 kg), the average like the Amazon River, causing poor qualcapybara is about 140 pounds (65 kg). ity of life for vulnerable species like the Capybaras are herbivores that live semiAmazon River dolphin. aquatically near rivers, swamps and other

bodies of water. They also live in packs • The argument for cutting down the rainforest is its initial economic boost, but many and are very social creatures. The capyexperts agree that preserving the rainforbara is a favorite snack of another of the est would yield far more economic beneworld’s largest animals: the anaconda. fits from its exports of fruits, oils, nuts and • The plants of the world’s rainforests are plants than its deforestation for ranching also very important. Did you know that or timber harvest. Madagascar Periwinkle, also known as the Rosy Periwinkle, contains the alka- • So what can you do? Search “rainforest preservation” in your favorite search enloid vincristine? Vincristine is used in gine and get involved with the preservachemotherapy, mainly to treat Hodgkin’s tion group that you like best. Also, spread and non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma as well as the word to your friends and family. Tell acute lymphoblastic leukemia. Before the them you read it in Tidbits. discovery of vincristine, which originally studied as a possible treatment for diabetes, those with Hodgkin’s lymphoma only had a 19 percent survival rate. However, the use of vincristine and other drugs have brought this rate up to 58 percent.

• Many of our favorite foods first originated in the rainforests too, things like chocolate, avocados, guavas, mangos and bananas.

• The final layer of the rainforest is the emergent layer, which is made up of even taller trees that grow anywhere from 147 to 262 feet (45 - 80 m) tall. • Because most food resides so high in the canopy, rainforests aren’t suitable habitats for humans. Most tribes that utilize rainforests for food live outside the forest in nearby areas. • The Amazon rainforest is one of the world’s largest biomes. It covers 1.4 billion acres (5.5 million km2) of the Amazon River basin and supports more than 300 species of mammals, including two species of freshwater dolphins. • Although they are some of the oldest in the world, most of Southeast Asia’s primary rainforests are expected to be completely destroyed within the next decade.


The Neatest Paper Ever Read! Owned and operated by: Mountain View Publishing, LLC

For advertising or distribution information call or e-mail us today!

(303) 688-1987

Issue #1146

• So why should we worry about the rainforests now? If they covers so much of the Earth, there’s still some left, right? Every second a football field-sized area of rainforest is destroyed due to deforestation. That’s roughly 86,400 acres every day. Over 2,250 species of trees and flowering plants, 125 species of mammals, 150 spe-

July 19, 2010

Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area

Page 3

Serious about Making Money? Tidbits wants to put money in to YOUR account!

On July 22, 1598, William Shakespeare’s play “The Merchant of Venice” is entered on the Stationers’ Register. By decree of Queen Elizabeth, the Stationers’ Register licensed printed works, giving the Crown tight control over all published material. On July 19, 1799, a black basalt slab inscribed with ancient writing is discovered in Egypt. The artifact, called the Rosetta Stone, held the key to solving the riddle of hieroglyphics, a written language that had been “dead” for nearly 2,000 years. On July 24, 1911, American archeologist Hiram Bingham gets his first look at Machu Picchu, an ancient Inca settlement in Peru. Machu Picchu is believed to have been a summer retreat for Inca leaders, whose civilization was wiped out by Spanish invaders in the 16th century. On July 21, 1925, schoolteacher John T. Scopes is convicted of violating Tennessee’s new law against teaching evolution. The case was never really in doubt. On May 4, the American Civil Liberties Union had offered to help any Tennessee schoolteacher challenge the law. To gain publicity for the town of Dayton, Scopes, a local science teacher, agreed to fill the role since he wasn’t planning to stay in Dayton anyway. No one was really concerned whether he had actually taught evolution to his students. On July 20, 1963, Jan and Dean’s “Surf City” reaches the top of the charts. “Surf City” might be mistaken for a Beach Boys record, but the Beach Boys had yet to have a No. 1 hit at that time. On July 23, 1976, members of the American Legion gathered in Philadelphia begin suffering from a mysterious form of pneumonia. By Aug. 2, 22 people were dead and hundreds more were experiencing pneumonia-like symptoms. Their ailment would come to be known as Legionnaires disease. On July 25, 1985, Rock Hudson, a tall, dark and handsome Hollywood leading man of the 1950s and 1960s, announces through a press release that he is suffering from acquired immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS). Hudson became the first major celebrity to go public with such a diagnosis. (c) 2010 King Features Synd., Inc.

» » » »

Now hiring Advertising Consultants Must have own transportation Must be highly motivated Must be honest and want to help businesses grow! Commission Only

Send an email to:

We will send you an application - upon receipt of your completed application we will schedule you for an interview

Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area

Page 4

Issue #1146

Superman had Foster Parents: Help a child in your community by becoming a licensed foster parent with Denver Area Youth Services. For more information please contact Sarah at 303-302-3263.


ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Starting something new is always exciting for the adventurous Aries. And here’s the good news: This time you might be able to get some assistance in helping you finish what you’ve started. TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Put your daydreaming penchant on hold for now, and face the facts as they are, not as you’d like them to be. Your customary hardheaded approach to “deals,” etc., would be called for. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Problems beyond your control might delay some of your plans. But things should start to get back to normal by midweek. The weekend could bring an unexpected (but welcome) visitor. CANCER (June 21 to July 22) It’s a good time to buckle down and tackle those unfinished tasks so you’ll be ready to take on other projects. The week’s end could bring an invitation from a most surprising source. LEO (July 23 to August 22) Mixed signals could create a few stressful moments for the Lion. But by midweek, explanations should help ease the tension. The weekend is party time! Share it with someone special. VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) This is a good “catching up” week for finishing tasks, calling old friends and maybe reading that book you haven’t opened yet or renting that movie you wanted to see again. LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Money matters should be worked out, even if it takes time away from a more romantic situation. Better to settle things before feelings turn hard and angry on all sides. SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) A job-related problem could turn out to be less troublesome than it seemed at first. Just a few moments of talk ‘twixt the parties resolves everything to everyone’s satisfaction. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) The Sagittarian Archer takes aim at health and fitness issues this week. Watch your diet, and try to put more exercise time into your typically busy schedule. CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) As you continue to focus on a career or job change, it’s a good time to look over some of your rarely used skills and see where they can fit into your future workplace plans. AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) A loved one’s health might be worrisome, but there’s good news by midweek. Expect people who share your ideas and your goals to try to contact you by the week’s end. PISCES (February 19 to March 20) A colleague’s request that makes the typically perceptive Pisces feel uncomfortable is a request you probably will want to turn down. The weekend favors family get-togethers. BORN THIS WEEK: You have a gift for making others feel warm and wanted. Even newcomers feel like old friends. (c) 2010 King Features Synd., Inc.

Consumers Bailing on Bailout Program

The government’s Making Home Affordable mortgage bailout programs haven’t been as successful as was expected. The programs were designed to lower mortgage payments, allowing homeowners to keep their homes and avoid foreclosure. As it’s turning out, the vast majority of homeowners who get a lowered mortgage end up defaulting on their mortgages anyway. There are quite a few reasons for the failure of the programs. • Banks weren’t initially asking for proof of income, automatically putting homeowners into a trial program. Once paperwork was completed during the trial period, it was discovered that many homeowners had too much income to qualify and were taken out of the program. (This happened with nearly half a million homeowners.) • Paperwork was lost or homeowners failed to send in required documents. • Homeowners are giving up and selling their homes. (Those who agree to a short sale or just give the house back to the bank qualify for $3,000 in moving expenses.) • Homeowners haven’t been able to get through the trial program successfully (payments have to be made on time) before the new modification deal is final. • Even with mortgage modification, homeowners still have other debts to juggle. Not only did they have late

» Roofing

We’ve Got You Covered!

» New or Repairs

Spring l! Specia uard af G

e Free L of or new ro y n a h it w ork gutter w

» Siding » Seamless Gutters » Exterior Remodeling

» Family Owned and Operated » Best Price!


mortgage payments, but other bills had stacked up as well before they applied for help. Those bills must still be paid. • The number of people applying to the programs has plunged, but a new one, starting in August, could encourage thousands to seek help: the Unemployment Program. • Some of the eligibility requirements include: • Mortgage must have originated prior to Jan. 1, 2009. • Home must be the principal residence. • The mortgage wasn’t already modified by one of the programs. • Mortgage payments are late, but not more than three months. • The payment is more than 31 percent of the homeowner’s income. • The homeowner can prove unemployment by receiving unemployment benefits. At this point there are a number of programs available: Home Affordable Refinance Program (HARP), Home Affordable Modification Program (HAMP), Second Lien Modification Program (2MP), Home Affordable Unemployment Program (UP) and Home Affordable Foreclosure Alternatives Program (HAFA). For more information, go to, click on Resources, then click Frequently Asked Questions by Borrowers, or call 1-888995-HOPE (4673). David Uffington regrets that he cannot personally answer reader questions, but will incorporate them into his column whenever possible. Write to him in care of King Features Weekly Service, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 328536475, or send e-mail to columnreply@

At DHR Home Repair we care about you and your home. Call today for your FREE estimate! Licensed, Bonded and Insured We are your home’s best friend!

720-427-1254 303-905-3152 Fax: 888-378-0237 All major credit cards accepted. In home financing available no credit check!

Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area

July 19, 2010

Page 5

Falun Dafa (Falun Gong)

A Traditional Self-Cultivation Practice to Improve Mind and Body


Free Events

Riders Hug It Forward Saturday July 24th. Riders and non riders alike will gather at 9:00 am at the Takoda Tavern in Parker,12311 Pine Bluffs Way, to help raise money to build schools in poor countries. The schools are made from recycled plastic bottles and other nonbiodegradeable material saved from the land fills. To sign up, help or donate contact Kim or Ron Sopoci (303) 6903507, or go online www.RidersHugItForward. com. See This Week’s Article!

Bus Tour of the Golden Triangle Art/ Museum District: First Friday of every month 5 - 9 pm. Ballet Arts Theatre, 816 Acoma St, Denver 303-825-7570

Arapahoe County Fair. July 21-25, 2010. 25690 E. Quincy Ave., Aurora. Family fun at an incredible value! Gate admission includes full access to rodeos, concerts, Extreme Canine dog shows, a petting zoo, face painting, craft stations, mutton bustin’ and more. Want rides? You’ll also find the best bargain of the summer for a wristband with unlimited carnival rides! Find out more and download a coupon at www. or call 303-7954955.

Denver Botanic Gardens: Free days Check web site for 2010 schedule of free days.1005 York St, 720-865-3500

Make Your Pet a Pin-Up for a Good Cause: Deadline is August 15, 2010. The Dumb Friends League is searching for the next top pet models to serve as pin-ups in their 2011 calendar. Pet owners can submit photographs of their cat, dog or other critters for a chance to be featured as a “Pet of the Month.” Entry fee is $35 per photograph, with proceeds benefiting the Dumb Friends League. For more information on the pet calendar contest, contest rules and submitting an entry, visit or call (303) 751-5772.

Museum of Contemporary Art: First Saturday of every month admission = 1 penny. 1275 19th St in Denver. 303-298-7554

Project C.U.R.E: Aug 16, 2010, 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm, 10377 E Geddes Ave, Centennial. The South Metro Chamber has teamed up with Project C.U.R.E. and established a sorting session on the 3rd Monday of every month. Project C.U.R.E. is a non-profit that gathers unused medical supplies that would normally be thrown away. Those supplies are then sorted, boxed, and shipped to developing countries around the world in dire need of items as simple as latex gloves and sutures. or call 303.795.0142. Under the August Moon: August 28, 2010, 6:00 pm, Polson Farm, 5201 Manhart St/CO Hwy 67, Sedalia. Annual Colorado Event featuring four songwriters from Nashville in-the-round. Each songwriter takes a turn presenting songs they wrote for famous recording artists. They explain why they wrote each song and the details surrounding each song, then they play them the way they originally wrote them. All done while you eat a wonderful dinner and enjoy the sounds; all to benefit St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital. $125/person. 303.377.9987, Stacey. or SongwritersSupper

t Relieves stress & anxiety t Increases energy & vitality t Greatly improves physical health t Promotes spiritual growth & enlightenment t Benefits millions in over 100 countries

Children’s Museum: First Tuesday evening of the month, 4 - 8pm. 2121 Children’s Museum Drive Denver Art Museum: First Sat of every month free to CO residents, 10am5pm 100 West 14th Avenue Parkway

Denver Museum of Nature & Science: Check web site for 2010 Free days. 2001 Colorado Boulevard, 303-322-7009

All Falun Dafa activities are always free of charge. | 720-242-5041

THE AURORA FOX PRESENTS THE 2010 LITTLE FOXES CHILDREN’S THEATRE Relax, have fun, and get excited at The Aurora Fox where our shows are ALWAYS in 3-D!

Firehouse Tales For Tots: Denver Firefighters Museum 1356 Tremont Pl, (303) 892-1436. First Wednesday of each month 10:00 am - 10:30 am. Ages 2-6

U.S. Mint: Mon - Fri; 8am - 3pm; reservations encouraged 320 West Colfax Ave. 303-405-4761


Colorado Rockies - MLB • At Florida: Jul 19, 5:10 pm, Jul 20, 5:10 pm, Jul 21, 5:10 pm, and Jul 22, 10:10 am • At Philadelphia: Jul 23, 5:05 pm, Jul 24 2:10 pm, Jul 25, TBD, and Jul 26, 11:05 am • Pittsburgh: Jul 27, 6:40 pm, Jul 28, 6:40 pm, Jul 29, 1:10 pm • Cubs: Jul 30, 7:10 pm, Jul 31, 6:10 pm, Aug 1, 1:10 pm • Giants: Aug 3, 6:40 pm, Aug 4, 1:10 pm • At Pittsburgh: Aug 5, 5:05 pm, Aug 6, 5:05 pm, Aug 7 5:05 pm, Aug 8, 11:35 am • Mets host: Aug 10, 5:10 pm, Aug 11, 5:10 pm, and Aug 12, 10:10 am • Milwaukee: Aug 13, 7:10 pm, Aug 14, 6:10 pm, and Aug 15, 1:10 pm • Dodgers host: Aug 17, 8:10 pm, Aug 18, 8:10 pm, and Aug 19, 8:10 pm • Arizona hosts: Aug 20, 7:40 pm, Aug 21, 6:10 pm, and Aug 22, 2:10 pm • Atlanta: Aug 23, 6:40 pm, Aug 24, 6:40 pm, and Aug 25, 1:10 pm • Dodgers: Aug 27, 7:10 pm, Aug 28, 6:10 pm, and Aug 29, 1:10 pm • San Francisco hosts: Aug 30, 8:15 pm, Aug 31, 8:15 pm and Sep 1, 7:15 pm Colorado Rapids - MLS • Sounders host: July 25, 9:00 pm • Dallas: July 31, 2:00 pm • Earthquakes: Aug 7, 7:00 pm • Union hosts: Aug 14, 2:00 pm • Crew hosts: aug 21, 5:30 pm • Dynamo: Aug 28, 7:30 pm

The timeless tale of a little girl who falls down a rabbit hole into a delightful, entertaining world of childhood fantasies. The play gives a slightly modern view to an old classic, where nonsense makes quite good sense. Fun for the whole family! by Lewis Carroll, adapted by Tim Kelly

July 13th - July 29th

(Tues/Weds/Thurs/Fri at 10:00 am &

Seating is limited. Reservations strongly suggested. ($7.00 single tix/$4.50 groups of 10+) Call the Aurora Fox Box Office to make reservations today!


9900 E. Colfax Avenue, Aurora

When your financial obligations get too big...

Morse & Associates, LLC is here to help.

$500 Bankruptcy

• Garnishments • Foreclosure • Harassment (303) 300-6684 1-877-284-7529

We are a federally designated debt relief agency pursuant to Title 11 of the U.S. Code, to help people file bankruptcy

Free Consultation Payment Plans Available

People are looking for YOUR business Advertise NOW in Tidbits - Denver Metro Area (303) 688-1987

Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area

Page 6 AFFORDABLE, PROFESSIONAL, EXCEPTIONAL CRIMINAL DEFENSE Reasonable rates Free initial consultation Dedicated attorney

NATHAN WEEKS Attorney at Law Call: 303-949-8674

Fax: 303-957-5494

Email: Website: Practicing in the state district, county, and municipal courts throughout the Denver-Metro area and beyond

WEEKLY FUNNIES A guy was arrested when he was apprehended after fleeing from a routine traffic stop. It turns out that he was wanted for bank robbery. When he complained of stomach pain and lost consciousness, he was admitted to a hospital. He must have felt better because he walked out of the hospital and went into a bar. But he forgot to get dressed first. The bar owner called the police when he arrived in a hospital gown with the intravenous needle still in his arm. A little boy asked his grandmother how old she was. “39 and holding,” she replied. “Well, then, how old would you be if you let go?” Can you cry under water? What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets. GREAT PUNS: • With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. • Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I’ll show you a flat minor. • If a clock is hungry does it go back four seconds? • The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. • A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. • You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it. • Every calendar’s days are numbered. • A lot of money is tainted. It t’aint yours and it t’aint mine. • A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. • He had a photographic memory that

Issue #1146

was never developed. Have you ever had one of those customer service calls where you find yourself saying things you don’t believe? This is so priceless....and so easy to see happening, given the state of customer service these days.... My Aunt passed away this past January. Her bank billed her for February and March for their monthly service charge on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, but had now grown to somewhere around $60.00. I placed the following phone call to the bank: Me: “I am calling to tell you that she died in January.” Bank: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.” Me: “Maybe, you should turn it over to collections...” Bank: “Since it is two months past due, it already has been.” Me: “So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?” Bank: “Either report her account to the frauds division, or report her to the credit bureau...maybe both!” Me: “Do you think God will be mad at her?” Bank: “Do I think God... excuse me, what did you say?” Me: “Do you understand what I was telling you... specifically the part about her being... dead?” Bank: “Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor!” (Supervisor gets on the phone) Me: “I’m calling to tell you, she deceased in January.” Bank: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.” Me: “You mean you want to collect from her estate?” Bank: “.....(stammer)” .... “Are you her lawyer?” Me: “No, I’m her great nephew, but feel free to contact her lawyer.” Bank: “Could you fax us a certificate of death?” Me: “Sure.” (Later, After they have gotten the fax. ) Bank: “Our system just isn’t setup to handle this...” Me: “Oh...” Bank: “I don’t know what more I can do to help...” Me: “Well... if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her... I suppose...don’t really think she will care....” Bank: “Well...the late fees and charges do still apply.” Me: “Would you like her new billing address?” Bank: “That might help.” Me: “Fredrickson Memorial Cemetery, Hwy 19 and plot number 233.” Bank: “Sir, that’s a cemetery!” Me: “Yes sir, that’s what we do with our departed loved ones.”


By Samantha Weaver • You might be surprised to learn that it was theoretical physicist Albert Einstein, one of the best-known scientists of all time, who made the following sage observation: “If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.” • On average, a man’s beard grows about a half-inch every month. • Do you suffer from coprolalia? I would hope not! If you’re a word deconstructionist and up on your Greek, you might be able to figure out that coprolalia means an uncontrollable use of obscene language, since “copro” means “dung” and “lalia” means “chatter” or “babble.” • Marilyn Monroe’s iconic film “Some Like It Hot” (which in 2000 was named the greatest American comedy film of all time by the American Film Institute) was originally titled “Not Tonight Josephine!” • The next time you have jury duty and want to get out of it, you might want to keep this in mind: A judge in Liverpool, England, dismissed a man from the jury when fellow jurors complained about the fleas in his beard. • At one time, the Catholic Church considered it sinful to eat a hot dog. • If you’re ever visiting Egypt and asking for directions, remember that in that country, “upstream” means south. • It’s probably fair to say that people have been enjoying mixed alcoholic beverages for hundreds of years, but the word “cocktail” wasn’t in general use until 1888, when it was printed for the first time, in a bartender’s manual. • In Connecticut in the 17th century, it was illegal to smoke more than one cigarette a day, and that one had to be smoked at home. (c) 2010 King Features Synd., Inc.

Thought for the Day: “A society that gets rid of all its troublemakers goes downhill.” -- Robert A. Heinlein

Dog Of The Week

Need a new best friend?

Daisy Mae - a 10 year old, spayed Australian Cattle Dog mix. ID #A0554334

Cat Of The Week Boston - a 2 year old male, buff, short hair cat. ID # A0553580

Dumb Friends League 2080 South Quebec St. $50 Off adoption fee of Denver, CO 80231 any cat or dog 1 year (303) 751-5772 or older with this ad!!!

C thes won

Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area

July 19, 2010

Local Organization Brings the Community Together

According to the New York Times, Americans throw away 2.5 million plastic bottles every hour. An article in the USA Today stated, “1.5 million barrels of oil are used to produce plastic water bottles in the US per year. That much energy could power 250,000 homes or fuel 100,000 cars for a year.” If you recycle just one plastic bottle, you save enough energy to run a television for 90 minutes. The emergence of a garbage island in the Pacific Ocean dubbed the Great Eastern Garbage Patch has been especially troubling to many who are concerned with the widespread pollution of our earth. The island, which is located in an area where ocean currents meet between California and Hawaii, is twice the size of Texas and made up of 90 percent plastic. Researchers estimate up to 80 percent of the trash originates on land such as shampoo bottles, children’s toys and plastic beverage bottles. So what can be done with all of these plastic bottles? They can be turned into schools! In Guatemala, schools are being

built using discarded plastic soda bottles and other trash. The bottles are stuffed with plastic bags for bulk and stacked sideby-sidein between two layers of chicken wire and coated with a mixture of sand and cement, becoming the walls of the school. Hug It Forward is proud to be able to support communities working together to build bottle schools in Guatemala. By using this eco-friendly technology and by spending 100% of donations directly on projects (not one penny is spent on salaries or other overhead), we can build a school for as little as $6,000. To further this cause, Kim and Ron Sopoci have started “Bikers Hug It Forward”. It’s become our passion to support the next bottle school project, so we have put a “Build a School” Harley ride together with Mile High Harley Davidson of Parker.” Said Ms. Sopoci. “The event will kick off with a motorcycle ride Saturday July 24th 2010 at Takoda Tavern and ending at Mile High Harley Davidson, both of Parker. 100% of the money raised will go towards building the next school.” Registration begins at 9:00 am at Takoda Tavern located at 12311 Pine Bluffs Way in Parker on Saturday, July 24th. The first bikes will leave at 9:30 am. The After-Run party will be held at Mile High HarleyDavidson of Parker located on the corner of Parker Rd and East Pine Lane from



JOB FOR You! $500 Sign-on Bonus! Travel USA with young minded, Enthusiastic Business Group. Cash/Bonuses Daily. Phil 888-8902070.


Advertising Representatives Wanted for “The Neatest Little Paper Ever Read!” HIGH Commission Only Contact: HR@ TidbitsOfDenver. com



THE OCEAN Corp. 10840 Rockley Road, Houston, Texas 77099. Train for a New Career. *Underwater Welder. Commercial Diver. *NDT/ Weld Inspector. Job Placement Assistance. Financial Aid available for those who qualify. 1-800321-0298.

GEM GRADE ROCK SALE. Large 50 year collection. Very upper end, July 31- August 7, Meridian, Idaho. 208-8885816 or 208-2880107.

GOLDEN RETRIEVER Puppies! AKC, shots, both parents on site. 719-547-0381

AUTO PARTS TOYOTA ENGINES. 22RE and 3VZE. New 22RE heads. Parting out Toyota 4RUNNERS and trucks. www. toyotatruckengine. com 1-877-484-7888.

Reach 40,000+ readers every week. PLACE YOUR CLASSIFIED AD HERE Call (303) 688-1987 or email


noon to 5:00 pm The cost is only $20 with 100% of the proceeds going to build a bottle school in Guatamala. There will be great give aways such as a 5 day, 4 night Cancun Getaway. Call or email Kim and Ron at (303) 6903507 or RidersHugItForward@comcast. net to reserve your spot TODAY! You can also go online to donate Not a biker but still want to help in the cause or join in the fun? No Problem! Just contact Ron and Kim and they can tell you how you can donate or help with the ride.

Call (303) 688-1987


WANTS TO purchase minerals and other oil & gas interests. Send details to P.O. Box 13557, Denver, Co 80201

Page 7


SAVE $500! Viagra! 40 Pills $99.00 Satisfaction Guaranteed!!! Open Saturday! Hablamos Espanol! Credit Card required www. newhealthyman. com 1-888-7354419

BUY VIAGRA, Cialis, Levitra, ADOPTING YOUR Propecia and newborn is our other medications dream. Secure below wholesale future and endless prices. Call: love awaits your 1-866-506precious baby. Ex8676. Over 70% penses Paid. Arlene savings. www. & George 5187

1. THEATER: Who won the 1961 Oscar for Best Supporting Actress in “West Side Story”? 2. ANATOMY: How long does it take blood to circulate throughout your body? 3. MUSIC: Who is honored in the song “Candle in the Wind” by Elton John? 4. HISTORY: Where was the first theater built in the American colonies? 5. SCIENCE: What area of study is a lepidopterist concerned with? 6. LANGUAGE: What is the meaning of the name Addis Ababa (capital of Ethiopia)? 7. MATH: In geometry, what is a perfectly round ball called? 8. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: In “The Twelve Days of Christmas” carol, what was sent on the 11th day? 9. MOVIES: What was the name of the submarine in the film “Operation Petticoat”? 10. GEOGRAPHY: What is the capital city of Australia? Answers 1. Rita Moreno 2. About a minute 3. Marilyn Monroe 4. Williamsburg, 1716 5. Butterflies and moths 6. New Flower 7. A sphere 8. 11 pipers piping 9. U.S.S. Sea Tiger 10. Canberra (c) 2010 King Features Synd., Inc.

Page 8

Laugh Lines!

Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area

Issue #1146

Sea The World!!! Learn To Breathe Under Water...

Martha vs Maxine

Some good tips from Martha...and better tips from Maxine:

· Martha’s Way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with 80% of the Earth is covered in water - see what the potatoes. you are missing! Become a PADI certified · Maxine’s Way: Buy Hungry Jack Scuba diver! mashed potato mix, keep it in the Next class pantry for up to a year. · Martha’s Way: Brush some beaten egg Saturday, July 24 & Sunday, July 25 white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. · Maxine’s Way: The Mrs. Smith frozen Painting by Andrew R. Plack pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don’t. Your PADI Professional Instructor · Martha’s Way: Wrap celery in aluminum is your guide. foil when putting in the refrigerator and PADI is the world’s largest it will keep for weeks. recreational diving membership and · Maxine’s Way: What’s Celery? Never diver training organization. heard of it! · Martha’s Way: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won’t be any white mess on the Call to TODAY to register for your outside of the cake. Open Water Scuba certification class ! · Maxine’s Way: Go to the bakery! They’ll Bud (303) 949-2744 even decorate it for you. or email · Martha’s Way: Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on · Maxine’s Way: Just suck the ice cream in a peeled potato and it will absorb the your forehead. The throbbing will go out of the bottom of the cone, for excess salt for an instant “fix-it-up.” away. Pete’s sake! You are probably lying on · Maxine’s Way: If you over salt a dish · Maxine’s Way: Take a lime, mix it with the couch with your feet up, eating it while you are cooking, that’s too bad. tequila, chill and drink! anyway! Please recite with me the real woman’s · Martha’s Way: Stuff a miniature · Martha’s Way: If you accidentally over motto: “I made it and you will eat it and marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar salt a dish, while it’s still cooking, drop I don’t care how bad it tastes!” cone to prevent ice cream drips

Are you ready to take the plunge and get certified?

Come Dive-In and Start Your Adventure Today!

Committed to Colorado

Service Hours M-F 7:00 am - 6:00 pm Sat 8:00 am - 5:00 pm

AR C E E FR WASHrvice ny Se W ith A


5 $19.9 NGeE A H C OIL es All Mod ls k l Oils Extra All Ma Specia

t he Ar t f o State n Repair io Collis ility Fac


stim Free E

1080 S Colorado Blvd Denver CO 80246 Service: 303-691-1264

Sales: 303-691-1290

Sales Hours M-F 8:30 am - 9:00 pm Sat 8:00 am - 7:00 pm

CLEAN Pre-Owned Purchases!

21,997 $ 2004 CADILLAC ESCALADE #P11008...66kmiles... 23,888 2008 CHEVY SUBURBAN #P10967....49k miles.....$31,996 2009 CHEVROLET HHR #P11000.....38k miles.....$12,518 2007 CHEVY MONTE CARLO#P11024.....59kmiles.....$10,999 2010 CHEVY EQUINOX #P10892.....12k miles.....$24,998 2008 SAAB 9,7X #P11002.....31k miles.....$21,998 2003 CHEVY VENTURE #910062A.....76k miles.....$6,994 2009 CHRYSLER SEBRING #P11011...34k miles....$13,888 2009 DODGE CALIBER #P10976.....37k miles.....$12,595 2006 GMC YUKON #P11017.....62k miles.....$20,979 2009 DODGE RAM 1500 #P11023.....26k miles.....$26,888 2010 FORD FUSION #P11012.....21k miles....$19,771 2009 GMC YUKON XL #P11022.....48k miles.....$34,777 2009 CHEVROLET EQUINOX #CS103....38k miles....$20,884 2009 HONDA CIVIC #P11013.....24k miles.....$15,888 2008 HONDA ODYSSEY #P11020.....36k miles..... $27,977 2009 VOLVO S60 #P11026.....24k miles.....$25,412 2009




$ miles.....

39,958 2007 JEEP LIBERTY 12,999 2008 SUBARU OUTBACK #P11042....43kmiles.....$19,394 2009 JEEP GRD CHEROKEE #P10983..29kmiles...$22,888 2009 FORD EDGE #P11043.....28k miles.....$25,101 2009 NISSAN CUBE #P10996.....24k miles.....$15,998 2007 DODGE RAM #910082AA ...34k miles....$16,888 2010 PONTIAC G6 #P10978.....11k miles.....$14,999 2007 MITSUBISHI ECLIPSE #P11050A...33k miles...$15,441 2009 PONTIAC G5 #CS104...9k miles,,,,$12,888 2006 NISSAN ALTIMA #910063AA.....52k miles.....$12,809 2007 SAAB 9,3 CONV #P10902.....17k miles.....$26,999 2006 FORD F-250 #910118A.....13k miles.....$26,999 2007 SAAB 9,3 COMBI #P10932....39k miles....$16,887 2006 CHEVROLET IMPALA #910095A....66k miles....$10,987 2009 SATURN OUTLOOK XR #P11025..28k miles..$29,997 2009 TOYOTA PRIUS #P10979.....31k miles.....$15,999 2009 TOYOTA VENZA #P11001.....3k miles.....$27,989 2010 SUBURBAN 2 To Choose From #P11034..7k miles..

$ #CS101....44k miles....

Not what you’re looking for, we have many more to choose from!



Profile for Tidbits - Denver Metro Area

Tidbits - Denver Metro Area - Issue #1146  

Issue #1146 - Weekly issue of Tidbits - Denver Metro Area. The Neatest Little Paper Ever Read

Tidbits - Denver Metro Area - Issue #1146  

Issue #1146 - Weekly issue of Tidbits - Denver Metro Area. The Neatest Little Paper Ever Read

Profile for bbrasier

Recommendations could not be loaded

Recommendations could not be loaded

Recommendations could not be loaded

Recommendations could not be loaded