July 16 - July 22, 2008
TIDBITS TALKS ABOUT TAPING
“THIS IS A RECORDING…” by Stanley Drummond
Today, we are so accustomed to singing cell phone tunes, voice mail, and even musical greeting cards that we take sound recording for granted. But think back to what it must have been like on that date in 1877, when Thomas Edison tested a new gadget he’d been tinkering with, and heard the sound of his own voice being played back to him for the very first time. 11658 E Colfax Ave - 303-364-3295
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• To accomplish this, Edison used components from a telephone mouthpiece along with a machine of his own invention that featured a cylinder covered with paraffin waxed paper. The machine housed two needles, one for scratching the voice message into the cylinder, and one for playing the message back. Edison was so excited during the first test of his machine that he recited the first thing that came to his mind, “Mary Had a Little Lamb.”
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• Thomas Edison patented the telephone in 1876, but he didn’t stop there. Almost immediately, he began working on an idea that combined the technologies of both the telephone and the telegraph. His idea was to imprint voice messages onto paper tape which could repeatedly be sent over telegraph lines, eliminating the need to use Morse code.
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• Edison’s phonograph, as he dubbed his new machine, proved that sounds could be recorded and played over and over again. But could it be put to any practical use, or was it just a novelty item? Edison showed remarkable vision, actually, when he listed possible uses for his phonograph in 1878: dictation without the need of a stenographer, audio books for the blind, reproduction of music, and even toys that could make sounds. turn the page for more!
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GREENWOOD VILLAGE LAKEWOOD/GOLDEN NORTHGLENN Information in the Tidbits Paper is gathered from sources considered to be (303) 488-0163 (720) 283-6565 (303) 255-8581 reliable but the accuracy of all information cannot be guaranteed. ®
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Page 2 THIS IS A RECORDING (continued):
pionage and other not-so-above-board activities. In 1943, at the height of World War II, Germany developed a brand new recording medium that was unknown elsewhere; high-quality magnetic tape. They used the improved technology to broadcast Nazi propaganda over European radio stations around the clock.
July 16 - July 22, 2008 HOME AGENTS NEEDED!
Calls From Purchase Ready Customers Are Routed • Of all the uses envisioned by Edison for Directly To Your House. the phonograph, the first one that beEarn Commission On Every Order You Take. came a reality was recorded music. For Make $100’s Or $1,000’s Per Wk. You Decide. the first time, an orchestra or singer could Set Your Own Hours. Never Stock Or Ship Any Product. be heard whenever the listener chose, Call Sophia For More Details (303) 520-1552 rather than having to rely on an in-person Or Visit www.tvcashagent.com performance or a live radio broadcast. • When Germany fell to the Allies, a U.S. The key problem was that there was no Army Signal Corps engineer named Jack day unless someone is making an Edselway to duplicate the wax cylinders that Mullin was quick to realize the potential type joke about a useless product. It’s held the recordings. To make multiple of the newfangled magnetic-tape recordeasy to forget that, in its day, the eightcopies of a recording, an artist had to pering equipment. He secured two recordtrack tape format sold millions of units form the song additional times for each ing machines in Germany and brought and was a resounding success. Until its instance. them back to the United States, where he invention in 1964, most tape recordings • Until the 1930s, recording studios were spent two years perfectwere of the reel-to-reel variety, which was acoustical, not electrical. That is, there ing a new version of the useless for portable listening. Cassettes were no microphones or amplifiers. An reel-to-reel magnetic were new, and the auto-reverse cassette orchestra simply gathered in a soundtape recorder. Although player had yet to be invented, so it was proof room around a large acoustic horn the Germans had used necessary to eject them and turn over (similar to the horns atop old Victrolas) this technology strictly once one side had finished playing. And and played. That’s why any recordings for military purposes, cassettes only had two sides, while eightyou hear today of that era sound tinny the first U.S. group to track tapes were (naturally) made with and shrill; there was no “separation” of show interest in Muleight tracks. the different instruments and/or voices, lin’s acquisition was the • Bill Lear, of Lear Jet fame, was the force and no volume control, either. entertainment industry. behind the eight-track system. He used his Soon, the Ampex com• Today, whether it’s a full orchestra or a engineering skills to develop an endless pany bought the rights fourpiece rock band, most musicians loop tape – one that would automatically to Mullin’s Magnetowear hightech headphones while recordstart over after it had finished playing. He phone. ing. This allows them to hear the backing believed that such a tape would appeal to music while they’re playing along. The • Ampex eventually becar manufacturers, since drivers could forecording engineer is thus able to record came one of the leadcus on the road while an album repeated each segment of the song separately. ing names in magnetic over and over. The key reason that the Then, it’s left to the producer to take each recording tape. One of cassette tape format eventually took over individual recorded track and “mix” it tothe first stars to take the market is that eight-track machines gether in the proper sequence and voladvantage of recordwere ill-suited for home recording. ume to make a finished song. ing live musical perfor• Today, of course, recording is all about mances on Ampex tape • In 1898, Danish engineer Valdemar digital technology. CD sales first sur– which could then be edited for radio Poulsen developed a machine that could passed LP sales in 1988, and now the broadcast or vinyl records – was crooner record sounds onto tautly stretched piano Internet, downloadable music, and iPods Bing Crosby. In fact, Der Bingle was so wire. Two years later, he combined his are all poised to make CDs obsolete in pleased with the results of his recorded recorder with that other recent invention, the not-too-distant future. And to think, it shows that he chose to invest heavily into the telephone, and produced a very early all started with Edison reciting “Mary had the company. prototype of the modern answering maa little lamb…” chine. • The eight-track tape is rarely heard of to-
• Poulsen’s Telegraphone Company went bankrupt just a few years after he first introduced his recorder, mainly because there was no real practical use (at the time) for a machine that recorded telephone conversations. Too bad Poulsen couldn’t have held on just a few years longer. Once the condenser microphone was introduced in 1916, a whole new market opened up for telephone recorders – that of wiretapping. • Yes, as is the case with any type of technology, the usefulness of voice recording was embraced by folks involved in es-
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3Q08 - WEEK 29 JUL 13 - JUL 19
TRIVIA NEWSFRONT ANSWERS
Tidbits® of Aurora
July 16 - July 22, 2008
PRESENTS TRIVIA NEWSFRONT™ by Kara Kovalchik & Sandy Wood
• On July 19, 1799, a French soldier in Egypt discovers the Rosetta Stone, a black basalt slab inscribed with ancient writing in Greek, Egyptian hieroglyphics and Egyptian demotic. The artifact held the key to solving the riddle of hieroglyphics, a written language that had been “dead” for nearly 2,000 years. • On July 20, 1869, Mark Twain’s book “The Innocents Abroad” is published. Samuel Langhorne Clemens adopted the pseudonym “Mark Twain,” a boatman’s call noting that the river was only 2 fathoms deep, the minimum depth for safe navigation. • On July 14, 1912, folksingersongwriter Woody Guthrie is born in Okemah, Okla. During the Depression, Guthrie traveled the country as a wandering musician, writing songs about what he saw on his journey. Many of his songs were political and liberal, supporting migrant workers and pacifists. • On July 16, 1945, at 5:29:45 a.m., the Manhattan Project comes to an explosive end as the first atom bomb is successfully tested in Alamogordo, N.M. The first mushroom cloud of searing light rose 40,000 feet into the air and generated the destructive power of 15,000 to 20,000 tons of TNT. • On July 15, 1953, the film “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes,” starring Marilyn Monroe, debuts at New York’s Roxy Theater. In 1944, Monroe went to work as a paint sprayer in a defense plant. A photographer spotted her there, and she soon became a popular pin-up girl. • On July 18, 1986, new close-up videotapes of the sunken ocean liner Titanic are released to the public. The videotapes were stunning in their clarity and detail, showing one of the ship’s majestic grand staircases and a coral-covered chandelier swinging slowly in the ocean current. • On July 17, 1996, shortly after takeoff from New York’s Kennedy International Airport, a TWA Boeing 747 jetliner bound for Paris explodes over the Atlantic Ocean, killing all 230 people aboard. Because the plane was loaded with fuel for the long trans-Atlantic journey, Flight 800 vaporized within moments.
(c) 2008 King Features Synd., Inc.
1. What singer shattered glass with her voice on commercials for Memorex tape? 2. What U.S. president’s secretary allegedly erased 18½ crucial minutes of tape in 1973? 3. What is the name of the award given to artists in the recording industry? 4. What classic TV show featured a tape recording that self-destructed in every episode? 5. HMV is one of Britain’s biggest record store chains; but what do the letters stand for?
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A child custody caseALVA was held in court. The judge felt that the mother and father were both fit to be parentsEDISON and therefore couldn’t NUMBER PUZZLE decide who he should grant full custody to. Fill in the grid so that every column, every row, 1847-1931 So he asks the little boy, “Would you like to and every 3 x 3 box contains the digits 1 through 9. live with your mother?” “No.” said the boy. “Why not?” said the judge. “Because she beats me.” The judge says “Okay, then you’ll go live with your father.” “Oh no!” cried the boy, “He beats me too.” Dumbfounded, the NUMBER judge asks, “Okay who do you want to live PUZZLE ANSWER with?” “I want to live with the Florida Marlins.” “Why?” asks the judge. “They never 6 9 4 8 2 7 3 5 beat 1anybody.” A Green 7 5 fan 6 9in a2 bar leans over 3 8 Bay 4 1Packer to the guy next to him and says, “Wanna 9 4 8 1 Viking fans?” 2 about 6 3 Minnesota hear7a 5joke The 6guy 9 next 5 2 to4 him 1 8replies, 7 3 “Well, before you tell that joke you should know some3 76’ 5tall6 and 8 12204 pounds 9 thing.2 I’m and I’m a Viking fan. The guy sitting next to me is 9 7 and 5 2he’s 6 a Viking fan, 1 3pounds 6’2” 8tall,4 240 and 5the2guy 8 sitting 9 1 4next 3 6to him 7 is 6’5”, 280 pounds and he’s a Viking fan, too. Now, do 6 7 2tell3that 9 joke?” 5 8 The Packer you 4still1 wanna fan says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to ex9 7 3 8 5 6 2 1 4 plain it three times.” Over breakfast one morning, a little boy kept staring intently at his grandfather. “Is any. . . . . GOES LONG thing the matter, son?” the old man asked. When rock band Queen recorded the operatic section of their classic“No, hit “Bohemian Rhapsody,” they’djust over-dubbed Gramps. I was wondering what potheir voices so many times that that particular section of the tape was transparent they’d worn the oxide off. team.” “What sition you– play on allthe football are you talking about?” laughed Gramps. “I’m far too old to play football.” “Oh,” said the little boy. “It’s just that Dad said that when you kicked off, we’d be able to afford a new car.” Three young boys were walking on the sidewalk arguing over whose daddy was the greatest. One said, “My dad is the greatest because he is the president of the town bank.” The second boy said, “That is pretty good, but my daddy owns two grocery stores
6 9 8 8 1 7
7 1 4 9
6 3 9
4 9 7
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continued on page 10
Tidbits® of Aurora
July 16 - July 22, 2008
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1. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: What was the Flying Dutchman? 2. GEOGRAPHY: What nation controls the Madeira Islands as an autonomous region?
• Did you hear about the television antennas Whether it’s a bona-fide knee-slapper or that fell in love and got married? The a true groaner, everyone loves a bad joke wedding wasn’t much, but the reception now and then. Here are some favorites was great! that you might choose to inflict upon your • “Doctor, I don’t know what’s wrong with friends: me. I just can’t seem to make friends, no • What did one snowman say to the other? matter how hard I try. Please help me, “Hey, do you smell carrots?” you big, bumbling idiot!”
3. THEATER: Who wrote the play “Man and Superman”?
• Patient: “Doctor, for some reason, I just • Did you hear about the archaeologist? He can’t stop stealing things.” Doctor: “Here, complained that his career was in ruins. take two of these pills once a day for a full • I went to the store to buy some camouflage week. If they don’t seem to work, get me pants the other day, but I couldn’t find a big screen TV!” any… • A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat • Why don’t sharks eat clowns? Because on a stool. “Hey,” said the bartender, “Did they taste funny. you know that we have a drink named after you?” “Really?” the insect replied. • Why did the Amish woman divorce her husband? He was driving her buggy! “That’s surprising. You’ve got a drink called Ernie?” • What do you call a cow with only two
6. MUSIC: What kind of musical instrument is a zither?
legs? Lean beef. • A chicken approached a duck, calmly waiting to cross the road. “Don’t do it, • Did you hear about the poor fellow who fell pal!” he warned him. “If you do, you’ll into the upholstery machine at the textile never hear the end of it!” factory? It’s okay; he’s fully recovered now. • What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. • A Buddhist walked up to a hot dog
vendor and said, “Make me one with • I wanted to bet the butcher that he everything.” couldn’t reach the meat stored on the top shelf. “I can’t,” he said. “The steaks are • What did the necktie say to the hat? You too high.” go on ahead; I think I’ll just hang around. • A neutron walked into a bar. “How much • What did the number 0 say to the number for a beer?” he asked. “For you,” the 8? “Hey, that’s a nice belt!” bartender said, “no charge!” • Did you hear the joke about the ceiling? • Have you heard about the Philippine Never mind; it’s over your head. contortionist? He’s known as the Manila Life is funny. So laugh every day! Folder. • Did you hear about the snail convention? It was a slugfest! • David Hasslehoff was giving an interview and told the reporter, “From now on, to save time, I want you to just call me ‘Hoff.’” “Sure thing,” said the reporter. “No
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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. ******** Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way.
4. MEDICAL: The lack of what vitamin causes beriberi, which affects the nervous system? 5. HISTORY: Who founded the British colony that would later become Rhode Island?
7. TELEVISION: Actor George Clooney had a regular role on which TV series? 8. MOVIES: Who played a bit part in the 2008 movie “The Incredible Hulk” and also played the Hulk in the TV series? 9. ROYALS: How long was Lady Jane Grey queen of England? 10. ENTERTAINERS: What comedic actor was born with the name William Claude Dukenfield?
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July 16 - July 22, 2008
Tidbits® of Aurora
FOR WEEK OF JULY 14, 2008 ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Your persistence pays off as the information you demanded starts to come through. The pace is slow at first, but it begins to speed up as the week draws to a close.
Italian Tuna Salad I can just picture the “two of you” on a picnic with this salad and a bottle of bubbly. Life can’t get any better than that!
TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) An unwelcome bit of news jolts the Bovine, who would prefer that things proceed smoothly. But it’s at most a momentary setback. A Leo brings more welcome tidings. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) You need to pay close attention to the details before making a commitment. Don’t accept anything that seems questionable, unless you get an answer that can be backed up. CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Congratulations on getting that project up and running. But as exciting as it is, don’t let it carry you away. Make sure you set aside time to spend with family and friends. LEO (July 23 to August 22) Be sure you’re part of the discussion involving your suggestions. Your presence ensures that you can defend your work, if necessary. It also helps gain your colleagues’ support. VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) A misunderstanding needs to be dealt with, or it can grow and cause more problems later on. Be the bigger person and take the first step to clear the air. LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Set some strict guidelines for yourself so your heavier-than-usual work schedule doesn’t overwhelm the time you need to spend relaxing with loved ones. SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) You might feel a little uncomfortable being among people you hardly know. But remember that today’s strangers can become tomorrow’s valuable contacts. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Reward yourself for all that you’ve accomplished despite some annoying situations that got in your way. Enjoy a wellearned getaway with someone special. CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Realizing that someone else is taking credit for what you did is bound to get anyone’s goat, but especially yours. Be patient. The truth soon comes out. AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Forget about opposites attracting. What you need is to find someone who thinks like you and will support your ideas, even if others say they’re too radical. PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Workplace problems can affect your financial plans. Be prudent and avoid running up bills or making commitments until things begin to ease up by the 25th. BORN THIS WEEK: Your intuition helps you communicate easily with people and understand their needs. (c) 2008 King Features Synd., Inc.
Quips & Quotes • Make sure that team members know they are working with you, not for you. — John Wooden • In a crisis, don’t hide behind anything or anybody. They are going to find you anyway. — Bear Bryant • It’s the name on the front of the jersey that matters most, not the one on the back. — Joe Paterno
3 cups purchased mixed salad greens 1/2 cup finely chopped unpeeled cucumber 1 cup shredded carrots 1 (6-ounce) can white tuna, packed in water, drained and flaked 1/4 cup Kraft Fat Free Italian Dressing 2 tablespoons Kraft fat-free mayonnaise 1 tablespoon Splenda Granular In a medium bowl, combine salad greens, cucumber, carrots and tuna. In a small bowl, combine Italian dressing, mayonnaise and Splenda. Drizzle dressing mixture evenly over salad mixture. Toss gently to coat. Serve at once. Serves 2 (2 cups). • Each serving equals: 184 calories, 4g fat, 22g protein, 15g carbs, 929mg sodium, 94mg calcium, 4g fiber; Diabetic Exchanges: 3 Meat, 3 Vegetable; Carb Choices: 1. Visit Healthy Exchanges at www. healthyexchanges.com, or call toll-free at 1-800-766-8961 for more information about our "common folk" healthy recipes. (c) 2008 King Features Synd., Inc.
Barrel of Knowledge
• What Pro Football Hall of Famer was the first to get a second bust in the Hall, for broadcasting? Frank Gifford • What’s the most common nickname for a major league baseball pitcher? Lefty • Who’s second to Sam Snead in PGA Tour wins? Jack Nicklaus • What major leaguer hit 20 or more homers in 20 seasons? Hank Aaron. • What baseball announcer’s 1996 funeral was attended b y Joe DiMaggio, Yogi Berra, Whitey Ford and Phil Rizzuto? Mel Allen’s • Which two cities have the oldest stadiums in major league baseball? Boston and Detroit.
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lst Annual Mile High Music Festival - July 19 - July 20, 2008, Dick’s Sporting Goods Park. www. DicksSportingGoodsPark.com Hispanic Music Fest - July 19, 2008, Invesco Field at Mile High, Denver. 2:00 pm - Tickets: $35. www.invescofieldmilehigh.com Buffalo Bill Days - July 23 - July 27, 2008, Golden Colorado. Buro races, games, food, Wild West Show and a Western Parade. 8th Annual Colorado Dragonboat Festival - July 26 - July 27, 2008, Sloan’s Lake Park. FREE! Asian culture, food, crafts, dance and boat races. www.DenverGov.org/Northwest_Denver_Parks Shakespeare at Curtis Park - August 2, 2008, Curtis Park, Denver. Twelfth Night - FREE Admission 6:00 pm. High School Musical - August 6 - August 10, 2008, Mizel Arts and Culture Center, Denver. Adults $8, Children $7. www.maccjac.org 45th Annual Colorado Scottish Festival & Rocky Mountain Highland Games - August 9 - August 10, 2008, Highland Heritage Park, Littleton. 9:00am - 4:30pm $12 adults, $8 children/seniors.
Bus Tour of the Golden Triangle Art/Museum District - First Friday of every month free, 5 - 9 pm Ballet Arts Theatre, 816 Acoma St, Denver 303-825-7570 www.pnfproductions.com Children’s Museum - Free admission first Tuesday evening of the month, 4-8pm 2121 Children’s Museum Drive www.cmdenver.org Colorado Railroad Museum - Free day, Sat, November 15, 2008 http://www.crrm.org 17155 W. 44th Avenue, Golden 303-279-4591 CU In Broomfield World Music Series - Free concerts 2nd Wed of every month, 7pm Broomfield Auditorium, 3 Community Park Road, 303-469-3301 x7999 www.broomfield.org Denver Art Museum - First Sat of every month free to Colo residents, 10am - 5pm 100 West 14th Avenue Parkway www.denverartmuseum.org Denver Botanic Gardens - Free day: First Friday of each month, 9am - 5pm 1005 York Street, 720-865-3500 www.botanicgardens.org Denver Museum of Nature & Science - Free days: Wed Aug 13, Sun Sep 7, Wed Oct 22, and Sun Dec 7, 2008 2001 Colorado Boulevard, 303-322-7009 www.dmns.org Firehouse Tales For Tots- Denver Firefighters Museum 1356 Tremont Pl, (303) 892-1436 First Wednesday of each month 10:00 am - 10:30 am. Ages 2-6 Museum of Contemporary Art - First Saturday of every month - Admission: 1 penny 1275 19th St, Denver 303-298-7554 www.mcartdenver.org U.S. Mint - Free: Mon - Fri; 8am - 3pm; reservations encouraged 320 West Colfax Ave., 303-405-4761 www.usmint.gov
Colorado Rockies - Major League Baseball Rockies host Pittsburgh: Thu Jul 17, 7:05 pm, Fri Jul 18, 7:05 pm, Sat Jul 19, 6:05 pm, and Sun Jul 20, 1:05 pm Rockies host Los Angeles: Mon Jul 21, 7:05 pm, Tue Jul 22, 7:05 pm, and Jul 23, 1:05 pm. Cincinnati hosts Rockies: Fri Jul 25, 5:10 pm, Sat Jul 26, 5:10 pm, and Sun Jul 27, 11:15 am Pitsburgh hosts Rockies: Mon Jul 28, 5:05 pm, Tue Jul 29, 5:05 pm, and Wed Jul 30, 5:05 pm Florida hosts Rockies: Thu Jul 31, 5:10 pm, Fri Aug 1, 5:10 pm, Sat Aug 2, 5:10 pm, and Sun Aug 3, 11:10 am Rockies host Washington: Mon Aug 4, 7:05 pm, Tue Aug 5, 7:05 pm, Wed Aug 6, 7:05 pm and Thu Aug 7, 1:05 pm Colorado Rapids - Major League Soccer Dallas hosts Rapids: Sat Jul 19, 6:30 pm ALL STAR GAME: Thu Jul 24, 5:00 pm Rapids host Columbus: Sat Jul 27, 7:30 pm Rapids host Toronto: Sat Aug 9, 2:00 pm Rapids host Kansas City: Sat Aug 16, 7:30 pm DC United hosts Rapids: Sat Aug 23, 5:30 pm Salt Lake hosts Rapids: Fri Aug 29, 7:00 pm
“The Happening” Running time: 90 minutes MPAA rating: R
“The Happening” is the latest offering from M. Night Shyamalan -- Hollywood’s most self-indulgent filmmaker. That he is still allowed to inflict his poorly conceived claptrap on an unwilling populace is a testament to how much Hollywood hates us. Make no mistake: “The Happening” is a bad movie. Really bad. It is “Wicker Man” bad. It is “Showgirls” bad (only without the drag queen appeal). Thankfully, it is such a bad movie that you can’t NOT miss it. “The Happening” plummets to such depths of ridiculousness and horribility (yes, horribility. It’s a word. I know, cuz I just made it up) that it makes the oeuvre of Uwe Boll seem Kurosawaesque.
Here’s the premise: The trees are mad at us. So, to get their revenge on the humanity that has despoiled the planet, the trees -- without the use of a lab, government grant or opposable thumbs -- conspire and create an airborne neurotoxin that makes humans go bonkers and kill themselves in elaborate ways. Wait. It gets better. The scientist (OK, not really. He’s a highschool science teacher) who discovers this is played by Marky Mark. Yes, Marky Mark. Formerly of the Funky Bunch. He’s such a brilliant mind that, at one point in the film, he decides to escape the Killer Trees by leading his ragtag group ... INTO A FOREST. Oh, sure, there are a few legitimately good bits, like when the zookeeper throws himself to the lions or the guy who lets his lawn mower run over him. But most of the truly good bits happen during the first 15 minutes of the movie. The rest is pure Badness. I’m not going to suggest you see “The Happening” in the theater. But definitely rent it when it comes out on video. Make a few pitchers of margaritas, invite some friends and enjoy the train wreck.
GRADE: An Ÿber-ironic A+ (c) 2008 King Features Synd., Inc.
July 16 - July 22, 2008
Tidbits® of Aurora
Creative Concoctions, ages 6 to 16, free Join us each week for an adventure in creativity, cooking or making crazy crafts. Space is limited. Tuesdays, 4 to 5 p.m. Call 303-236-8315 the Friday before to register. Twisted Teens, ages 13 to 17, free Play games, dance, do crafts, share music and hang out. Thursdays, 2:30 to 4:30 p.m. Hoffman Heights Library, 1298 Peoria St. 303-326-8620 or www. auroralibrary.org
On Smoky Hill and Buckley (303) 693-2850
PAGE 1 WEEK 29 Take Advantage of the below Tidbits A MAZE MENT - JUL 19 Specials TODAY!
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most vehicles Kara Kovalchik or: Sandy Wood Transmission Flush $89.95 most cars firstname.lastname@example.org Fuel Injection Service $59.95 most cars Not valid with any other offers. Expires 8/15/08
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Cheech Marin . . . . . . 7/13/46 Eric Laneuville. . . . . . 7/14/52 Linda Ronstadt . . . . . 7/15/46 Corey Feldman . . . . . 7/16/71
THIS WEEK’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS
Duchess of Cornwall . 7/17/47 Vin Diesel . . . . . . . . . 7/18/67 Brian May . . . . . . . . . 7/19/47
Teen Chess Club, ages 13 to 17, free Final tournament with prizes July 30. All players welcome. Wednesdays, 3 to 4 p.m. MLK Library, 9898 E. Colfax Ave. 303-739-1940 or www. auroralibrary.org Presidential Campaigns Political campaigning is highly visible on television and the Internet, but in years past, candidates relied on objects such as buttons, bumper stickers, pins, medals and yard signs to promote messages and encourage people to vote. This exhibit features collections of campaign materials from past presidential elections including, John F. Kennedy, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Franklin D. Roosevelt and Lyndon B. Johnson. Admission is free. Through September 21, 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Tuesday through Friday, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Saturday and Sunday Aurora History Museum, 15051 E. Alameda Parkway 303-739-6660 or www.auroramuseum.org Ann Lincoln and the Magic Bug Show, ages 3 and older Be amazed by silly songs, super magic and stories. July 16, Wednesday, 10:30 a.m. Iliff Square Library, 2245 S. Peoria St., 303-326-8654 www.auroralibrary.org Keyboarding Classes, ages 18 and older Improve your job skills and learn to type faster and more comfortably. Free. July 14 to 18, Monday to Friday, 10 to 11 a.m. 303-739-6630 or www.auroragov.org/recreation
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GET SMART (PG13) MAMMA MIA! (PG) F-Th .....1:15p 3:45p 6:35p F-Th .....11:00a 1:35p 9:20p 4:15p 7:20p 9:55p MEET DAVE (PG) HANCOCK (PG13) F-Th .....11:05a F-Th .....11:10a 1:20p 3:40p 6:40p 9:00p SPACE CHIMPS (G) F-Th .....11:50a 2:30p HELLBOY II - THE 4:40p 7:10p 9:25p GOLDEN ARMY (PG13) THE DARK KNIGHT(PG13) F-Th .....12:50p 3:40p F-Th .....11:30a 12:30p 6:50p 9:50p 3:00p 4:00p 6:30p 7:45p 10:00p JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH WALL-E (G) (PG) F-Th .....11:05a 1:30p F-Th .....11:40a 2:10p 4:10p 7:00p 9:40p 5:00p 7:50p 10:20p WANTED (R) F-Th .....1:00p 4:30p 7:30p 10:10p
Teen Media and Book Swap, grades 6 to 12 Bring your unwanted but usable items for exchange. July 17, Thursday, 6 p.m. Tallyn’s Reach Library, 23911 E. Arapahoe Road 303-627-3050 or www.auroralibrary.org Stop Shoulder Pain, ages 50 and older Join Physiotherapy Associates to discuss common causes of shoulder pain and treatment options. Free. July 17, 10 to 11 a.m. Aurora Center for Active Adults, 30 Del Mar Circle 303-739-7950 or www.auroragov.org/seniors KidSpree, all ages Don’t miss Colorado’s largest outdoor festival for kids featuring more than 60 hands-on activities and entertainers! Free. July 19 and 20, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Bicentennial Park, 13655 E. Alameda Ave. 303-326-8FUN or www. auroragov.org/kidspree Bug-ee About Books, all ages A creepy-crawly magic show presented by Mark Strivings. www. auroralibrary.org July 19, Saturday, 2 p.m. MLK Library, 9898 E. Colfax Ave., 303-739-1940 July 26, Saturday, 2 p.m. Hoffman Heights Library, 1298 Peoria St., 303-326-8620 All About Bees, ages 7 to 12 Call one month in advance to verify ages and times. July 23, Wednesday, 2 p.m. Central Library, 14949 E. Alameda Parkway 303-739-6626 or www. auroralibrary.org Bug Bookmarks, ages 5 and older Create a cute or creepy bug to mark your page. July 24, Thursday, 4 p.m. Iliff Square Library, 2245 S. Peoria St. 303-326-8654 or www.auroralibrary. org The Sunny and Cher(i) Show, ages 2 and older A silly show with magic, clowning, stories and surprises. July 25, Friday, 10:30 a.m. Tallyn’s Reach Library, 23911 E. Arapahoe Road 303-627-3050 or www.auroralibrary.org
1. Get Smart (PG-13) Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway 2. Kung Fu Panda (PG) animated 3. The Incredible Hulk (PG-13) Edward Norton, Liv Tyler 4. The Love Guru (PG-13) Mike Myers, Jessica Alba 5. The Happening (R) Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel 6. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (PG-13) Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett 7. You Don’t Mess With the Zohan (PG-13) Adam Sandler, John Turturro 8. Sex and the City (R) Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall 9. Iron Man (PG-13) Robert Downey Jr., Terrence Howard 10. The Strangers (R) Liv Tyler, Scott Speedman (c) 2007 King Features Synd., Inc.
Tidbits® of Aurora
July 16 - July 22, 2008
Regular Car Maintenance Saves Gas, Future Repairs
recommendations can lead to damage that brakes is a may not be covered by the manufacturer’s warning that warranty. something could be wrong. Have Now that good driving weather is here, • Tire Inflation and Rotation/Check for them inspected there’s no better time to make sure your Wheel Damage—Check to make sure by a competent vehicle is operating at peak efficiency. your tires are properly inflated to the tire mechanic. According to Bob Douglass, owner of Big pressure recommended by your vehicle O Tires at Smoky Hill and Buckley, the manufacturer—the numbers can usually • Replace following tips may save you money at the be found on the driver’s side doorjamb Damaged Belts pump and help to avoid a costly trip to the and should not be taken from the tire and Hoses—A repair shop, while extending the life of one itself. Properly inflated tires help deliver a broken belt can of your biggest investments. safe ride, wear longer and help maintain affect several systems in your car, including maximum fuel economy. Remember, the the electrical, power steering, cooling and • Get a “Tune-Up”—A tune-up usually recommended tire pressure for the front air conditioning. When choosing new belts, refers to multiple component checks—like and rear tires may vary. those made with polyester versus rayon a physical for your car. Have a technician cords are preferred because they resist check the following systems: battery, In addition, have your tires rotated on a stretching and minimize slippage. charging and starting systems, engine regular basis—at every other oil change is mechanicals, powertrain controls (including a good rule of thumb. This will help improve • Hoses, especially for the cooling system, onboard diagnostics check), and the fuel, tread wear while maintaining optimum can deteriorate from the inside out. Any ignition and emissions systems. Proper braking and steering capabilities. Big O hoses that look worn should be replaced maintenance of these systems can help Tires will rotate your tires for no additional promptly to reduce the risk of damage maximize your vehicle’s performance and charge. to your car’s internal components and to fuel economy while minimizing emissions. prevent you from becoming stranded. Tires and wheels are a part of your vehicle’s • Change the Oil/Check All Fluid Levels— integrated safety system. Wheels should be Following these simple suggestions—all Make sure your oil and filter are changed checked for any dents, holes or change in of which can be performed by Big O Tires on a regular basis. Changing both can shape, which can affect tire pressure and at Smoky Hill and Buckley—can help you also help you achieve maximum fuel increase the risk of losing vehicle control. get the best performance and gas mileage economy and peak engine performance. Damaged wheels should be replaced (not from your car and might eliminate the need Ensure that all the fluid levels in your car repaired) with wheels of the same size and for some costly repairs sometime down the are topped off, including coolant, power type from the vehicle manufacturer. road. steering, transmission and washer solvent. One important thing to remember when • Inspect Your Brakes—Your brakes are one Bob Douglass is the owner/operator of Big changing any type of fluid or lubricant is to of the most important safety features on your O Tires located at the southwest corner of always follow the recommendations of your automobile. Any noise, including squealing, Smoky Hill and Buckley. See their ad on vehicle’s manufacturer. Failure to follow the grinding or rattling, coming from your car’s page 7 for special Tidbits deals!.
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July 16 - July 22, 2008
Tidbits® of Aurora
PAWS CORNER By Sam Mazzotta
Dogs Need Love, Not Treats
was a treat, because we were having fun. We won many ribbons and “Best of Breed” without them. Being a champion is its own reward!
Dogs are smart, and they sense your feelings, whether it’s fear, anxiety or pleasure, DEAR PAW’S CORNER: I just read and react to your attitude and body lanyour column about rewarding dogs with guage. Kindness, patience and consisten“treats” for good behavior. Treats are fine cy work well without using treats. if you’re teaching them to sit up, roll over or jump through a hoop. In my almost 80 The real reward for a dog is being loved years I’ve had many dogs that were all and cared for. Sincerely, -- K.H.S., Fairwell-mannered without giving them treats. port, N.Y. A pleasant voice, a big hug, a pat on the DEAR K.H.S.: Well, I can’t argue with head and “good dog” work nicely as a re- that. Great advice, and something to conward. sider when training your dog, whether for My reasoning is that you don’t give your basic obedience or for a show. You said it children candy when you are teaching them all, and I thank you!
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proper behavior. My dogs get treats when Send your tips, questions and comments to Paws Corner, c/o King Features Weekly Service, P.O. they least expect one. That’s a “treat”! Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475, or e-mail
I’ve shown dogs in dog shows and never them to email@example.com. “baited” them with treats. Being in the show
(c) 2008 King Features Synd., Inc.
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“Home interprets heaven. Home is heaven for beginners.” --Charles H. Parkhurst I’ve gone over my list of chores, taking care of things around the house -- nicks in paint, bathroom wallpaper that is peeling from hot shower steam, testy light bulbs that need to be replaced, but are difficult to reach.
LAUGHS! My list is long; it’s time for some loving, tender care on this middle-aged, dear friend who seems to be calling softly, “You’ve Did youme.” hear about the been ignoring
guy I know this who housewent like myout ownto body -- every freckle andDatsun quirk, badpickup mood and desire. his old But, unlike me, this place can’t take care of inmethe morning, itself.truck It needs to tend to its fading door tocabinets; find that paint andonly creaky nothing a can of barn-red paint and WD-40 can’t fix. someone had broken in Since I’ve become very sentitoI itmarried, the night before? mental about houses. I don’t have favorite memories of a childhood home and never Fortunately, nothing even experienced homesickness until I was missing. In fact, was in my mid-20s, married five years and it Iturned out, the had a as child. was in Florida when it hit. My grandmother had died a few weeks thief left a bunch of earlier, and I missed home -- my home, the first 8-track tapes inside! house my husband and I lived in. I ached and wanted to grieve in the rooms/arms of that house/friend. I couldn’t get home fast enough.
FILLER PAGE 1 3Q08 - WEEK 29 JUL 13 JULwalls 19 absorb the dust has settled. The- new rhythm of the family who lives inside -- its laughter and tears, problems and mile2008.29 stones. If the rebuilt walls could talk, let me Senior Editor: Kara Kovalchik tell you, there would be some stories.
I asked recently, “What is it about email:myself firstname.lastname@example.org this house?” I closed my eyes and visualized the obvious things -- the rooms, my kitchen where friends and family congregate, the way the stairs creak when a child SUMMER comes down, backyard. But the image ISthe HERE.... that predominately comes to mind is the faces of my loved ones -- the people I tuck in at night. They make it a home. Otherwise, it would be just any old kitchen, any old room, any old backyard. The family inside is what makes this place a little piece of heaven. Unlike heaven, though, where homes will never need a wall patched or a deck sealed, this one does. Excuse me, I have KEEP an old friend who is inYOUR need of some loving BUSINESS HOT! tender care.
IN We lived there six years when we moved Write ADVERTISE to Taprina Milburn in care of King Feato our current house. Its walls welcomed tures Weekly Service, P.O. Box 536475, Orus, and then we knocked them down. The lando, FL 32853-6475. BITS houseQUIZ has seen a lot of changes, but the (c) 2008 King Features Synd., Inc. by Kara Kovalchik & Sandy Wood
1. What type of video
A MAZE MENT
Tidbits® of Aurora
July 14-20, 2008
July 16 - July 22, 2008
Top 10 Pop Singles This Week Last Week 1. Coldplay ............................No. 2 “Viva La Vida” (Capitol) 2. Katy Perry ........................No. 4 “I Kissed a Girl” (Capitol) 3. Lil Wayne feat. Static Major ................No. 1 “Lollipop” (Cash Money) 4. Leona Lewis ......................No. 3 “Bleeding Love” (Syco/3) 5. Rihanna ............................No. 5 “Take a Bow” (SRP/Def Jam) 6. Natasha Bedingfield ........No. 9 “Pocketful of Sunshine” (Phonogenic) 7. Jordin Sparks duet with Chris Brown ........No. 7 “No Air” (19/Jive) 8. Chris Brown ....................No. 11 “Forever” (Jive) 9. Usher feat. Young Jeezy ..No. 6 “Love In This Club” (LaFace) 10. Metro Station ................No. 14 “Shake It” (Red Ink/RED)
Top 10 Albums 1. Lil Wayne ..................new entry “The Carter III” (Cash Money/Universal Motown) 2. Plies ............................new entry “Definition of Real” (Big Gates/SlipN-Slide/Atlantic) 3. Various Artists ..................No. 2 “NOW 28” (EMI/Sony BMG/Universal/Zomba) 4. Disturbed ..........................No. 1 “Indestructible” (Reprise) 5. Usher ................................No. 3 “Here I Stand” (LaFace) 6. Journey ..............................No. 5 “Revelation” (Nomota) 7. N*E*R*D ..................new entry “Seeing Sounds” (Star Trak/Interscope)
WEEKLY FUNNIES (continued from page 3)
By Samantha Weaver
Montgomery Gentry 8. Alanis Morissette ......new entry “Flavors of Entanglement” (Maverick) 9. My Morning Jacket ..new entry “Evil Urges” (ATO) 10. Weezer ............................No. 4 “Weezer” (DGC/Interscope)
Top 10 Hot Country Singles 1. Kenny Chesney ................No. 4 “Better As a Memory” (BNA) 2. Carrie Underwood ..........No. 1 “Last Name” (Arista) 3. Blake Shelton ....................No. 5 “Home” (Warner Bros.) 4. Brad Paisley ......................No. 2 “I’m Still a Guy” (Arista Nashville) 5. Rascal Flatts ....................No. 3 “Every Day” (Lyric Street) 6. Montgomery Gentry ........No. 6 “Back When I Knew It All” (Columbia) 7. Alan Jackson ....................No. 9 “Good Time” (Arista Nashville) 8. Dierks Bentley ................No. 10 “Trying To Stop Your Leaving” (Capitol Nashville) 9. Lady Antebellum ..............No. 7 “Love Don’t Live Here” (Capitol Nashville) 10. Brooks & Dunn ............No. 13 “Put a Girl In It” (Arista Nashville) © 2008 King Features Synd., Inc.
jury duty, etc., must be handed in to the Personnel Manager no later than 6pm on the day preceding the game.
in town!” The third boy said, “That’s nothing, my dad is a preacher, and he owns The basketball coach stormed into the hell. He came home last night and told my university president’s office and demanded mom that the Church Board gave it to him!” a raise right then and there. “Please,” proThe announcers of the baseball team were tested the college President, “you already discussing the stats they had on the players make more than the entire History departand one asked the other, “How many goals ment.” “Yeah, maybe so, but you don’t know has Goodwin scored this season?” “Exactly what I have to put up with,” the coach blusdouble what he scored last season,” replied tered. “Look.” He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the the second announcer. “Thirty-seven.” hallway. “Run over to my office and see if “I just don’t understand it,” a tennis playI’m there,” he ordered. Twenty minutes later er complained. “One match I play very well, the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. and then the next match I’m terrible.” “Well,” “You’re not there, sir,” he reported. “Oh, I see said his wife, “why don’t you just play every what you mean,” conceded the President, other match?” scratching his head. “I would have phoned.” “Dad, Dad!” cried Philip, as he arrived Two old men meet on a street corner. The home one evening. “I think I’ve been sefirst old man said, “Where have you been for lected for the school football team.” “That’s the last couple of months?” The second old good,” said his father. “But why do you only man replied, “I was in jail.” The first old man think you’ve been selected? Aren’t you sure? asked, “Why were you in jail?” He replied, What position are you playing?” “Well,” re“Well, about two months ago I was standing plied Philip, “it’s not been announced offion a corner, and this beautiful young woman cially, but I overheard the football coach tell rushes up with a policeman, points to me my teacher that if I was on the team I’d be a and says, ‘He is the man, officer, he is the great draw-back.” one who attacked and raped me’.” The first The following instruction recently ap- old man said, “What? And you let her get peared on the notice board of a large fac- away with it?” The second old man replied, tory in Denver: All applications for leave of “Well, I’ll tell you, I felt so flattered, I admitabsence for family bereavements, sickness, ted to it.”
• If your take-home pay leaves something to be desired, you probably won’t be surprised to learn that the English word “salary” is derived from the Latin word for the allowance provided to Roman soldiers to buy salt. • It was Academy Award-winning comedian and actor George Burns who made the following sage observation: “You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.” • Tablecloths today are lovely linens that enhance the appearance of a table, but that wasn’t originally their sole use. At one time, tablecloths were meant to serve as towels; after dinner, guests would use it to wipe their hands and faces. • If you were to dine at an ancient Roman feast, you might find flamingo tongues on the menu -- they were considered a delicacy. • In 1981, two minor-league baseball teams, the Rochester Red Wings and the Pawtucket Red Sox, played what might be the longest game in baseball history -- a full 32 innings. And after all that, there wasn’t even a winner: The game ended in a 2-2 tie. • If you needed more evidence that we live in a materialistic society, consider this: Statistics show that more people in America go to shopping malls every week than attend churches and synagogues. • The long tails that are spread out in the sky behind comets are vapor trails, but the vapor is spread pretty thin. In fact, if you condensed all the vapor in a 10,000-mile vapor trail, it would take up less than 1 cubic inch. (c) 2007 King Features Synd., Inc.
Thought for the Day: —24— “Very few people do anything creative after the age of 35. The reason is that very few people do anything creative before the age of 35.” -- Joel Hildebrand
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July 16 - July 22, 2008 ALL THE PRESIDENTS’ TIDBITS
Tidbits® of Aurora
went to war with Britain, and the president had to walk a fine line to keep America from having to choose a side and become involved in the conflict. As newspapers published rhetoric promoting Jefferson and his Republican views, Adams worked to limit anti-government speech.
While George Washington was anArmy general and certainly an • Jefferson managed to thwart Adams’ adept leader, our second reelection bid, and John retired from public president – John Adams – was a man of life. He was there when his eldest son, thoughts and words as well as deeds. He John Quincy Adams, was inaugurated as served in the Continental Congress, and president in 1825. He passed away on assisted in the composition of what are Independence Day, July 4, 1826, only a considered the most important documents few hours after his political rival, Thomas in our nation’s history: the Declaration of Jefferson. To learn more about Adams, Independence and the Constitution. check out the recent HBO miniseries John Adams, starring Paul Giamatti. • John Adams was born in Braintree, Mass., just south of Boston, on October 30, 1735. (You won’t find his birthplace in Braintree today, however; that part of the town is now known as Quincy.) A good student, John entered Harvard at the age of 16. Upon graduation, he began to keep a journal, which he added to for the remainder of his life. He took a job as schoolmaster for Vacations Promote Healthy the town of Worcester, and studied law as Heart well. • In 1761, Adams’ life began to change. As If you hope to get in a short vacation before the eldest son of his family, he inherited the end of summer, there’s still time. And if property from his father, who died in you’re like me, the idea of an inexpensive getaway is most appealing. To avoid May. He also began to court Miss Abigail driving long distances (and incurring all that Smith, the woman who would become expense for gas), I’ve decided to spend a his wife three years later. John was long weekend camping out at a national well aware of the growing movement in park. the Colonies to fight “taxation without FILLER PAGE 2 away is easier to Besides, a short time representation,” and used his knowledge 3Q08 WEEK 29 justify when even Harvard University says of law to pen documents to that effect for that vacations JUL 13 - JUL are 19 good for us, and that the Massachusetts legislature. those of us who get away are less likely to • Adams’ efforts spearheaded the repeal develop heart disease. of several laws that were unfairly taxing Do you have a senior park pass? These are Americans. In 1768, King George III lifetime passes PRESENTS to national parks for U.S. sent troops to Boston. Two years later, citizens age 62 and over. The only place to TRIVIA NEWSFRONT™ during a skirmish later dubbed the Boston get by a Kara pass is at a& Sandy park.Wood Some of the benefits Kovalchik include free admission and Massacre, five civilians were shot and 1. What singer shattered glass withfor heryou voice on a few othersfor in your car, and a 50 percent discount killed while protesting against the British. commercials Memorex tape? for you only on expanded amenities such The Crown asked John to represent the 2. What U.S. president’s secretary allegedly as camping and swimming. responsible soldiers at trial. erased 18½ crucial minutes of tape in 1973? • John Adams agreed to take on the soldiers’ The old Golden Age Passports for park 3. What is the name of the award given to artists defense, maintaining that they deserved admittance have been discontinued, and the in the recording industry? replacement is called America the Beautiful a fair trial. Surprisingly, the public seemed -National Parks and Federal 4. What classic TV show featured a tape Recreational to understand and respect this decision. Lands Cost is $10 a photo recording thatPass. self-destructed in each. every Have episode? Even more surprisingly, all but two of ID handy when you buy one. the Redcoats were acquitted of charges. 5. HMV isAsone of Britain’s biggest record store I was preparing for my short vacation, Adams joined the state legislature, where chains; abuthandy what do the letters standmy for?eye at the booklet caught his popularity led to an appointment as Harvard Health Publications Web site: one of Massachusetts’ representatives in “10-Minute Consult -- Healthy Travel.” It’s the First Continental Congress. full of helpful tips on preparing to travel, but NUMBER PUZZLE most important being row, prepared • As the Revolution began, Adams Fill found in thethe grid so that every concern column, every all medications you take and himself in the middle of muchand of every the with 3 x 3 box contains the digits 1 throughothers 9. action. He nominated George Washington that might be needed, such as laxatives to be commander-in-chief of the Colonial and antacids. forces, and also tried to enlist the aid of The same Web site carries low-cost other European nations in the American special reports that can be purchased on struggle for independence. When the War a wide range of topics such as high blood ended, Adams signed the Treaty of Paris, pressure, Alzheimer’s disease, home safety, in which England formally recognized osteoporosis and nutrition. Check www. the United States as a nation. He spent health.harvard.edu and click on Special several years in Europe as a well- Reports for the whole list of topics. Or call 1-888-386-7220 for customer service. respected ambassador before returning Matilda Charles regrets that she cannot personhome to help draft the Constitution.
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TRIVIA NEWSFRONT ANSWERS
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
Ella Fitzgerald Richard Nixon Grammy Mission: Impossible His Master’s Voice
ALWAYS FREE ALWAYS FUN
THOMAS ALVA EDISON 1847-1931
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• I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce. • How about never? Is never good for you? • I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
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This acclaimed book written by Michael Brasier is perfect for children and adults alike who enjoy reading about different countries and adventures through the eyes of a child.
The perfect book to read with your child.
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“The World Through A Child’s Eyes provides most refreshing reading and an innocent perspective of the world. This is an opportunity that many children Michael’s age do not get, but can now experience by reading this very interesting and delightful book.” Mrs. Wendy Craigg - Governor of The Central Bank of The Bahamas
• I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter. • It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a darn word you’re saying. • Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again. • I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid. • You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. • I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t give a darn. • I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. • I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. • Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. • The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist. • Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. • What am I? Flypaper for freaks!? • Do I look like a people person? • I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant. • And your crybaby, whiny opinion would be...? • This isn’t an office. It’s hell with fluorescent lighting. • I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left. • Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. • Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. • I’m trying to imagine you with a personality. • A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. • Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done. • Oh I get it - like humor, but different. • I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of it.
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