Page 1

Die Hard

Die Zauberflöte

Science, page 16

R.I.P. Live Music

Features, page 10

Ents, page 25

bathimpact The University of Bath Students’ Union Newspaper

Volume 11 Issue 12

Tuesday 20th April 2010

News in Brief Election date set Gordon Brown visited the Queen on April 6th, and asked her to dissolve Parliament in preparation for a General Election, which will take place on May 6th. The first ever live televised election debate between party leaders took place on Thursday. See page 6-7 for election analyses by Gus Lamb and Ginny Westminster, and page 17 for a report

Orange bus fares increased

Students gather to watch the ritual gunking of their Sabbatical Officers. For our feature on RAG, see the centre pages

4 West finally finished

»»Final part of the project “on time and within budget” »»Earlier stages were responsible for overall delays


West was completed during the Easter holidays. The building replaces the old 4 West, which was demolished in 2005. It will house the Department of

Mathematical Sciences, a café, student services, a postgraduate centre with social space, and the offices of the Vice Chancellor and University Secretary. Efficient lighting, ‘sustainable goat-

The now complete 4 West building

hair carpets’, and a concrete cooling system contribute to the energy efficiency of the new building, which was given an environmental rating of ‘excellent’ by BRE Global Ltd. In April, the Department of Estates announced the building’s completion “on time, and within budget”. It is correct that the current contractors, Cowlins, completed building work within the budget and timescale set for that part of the project, but this was the last stage of a project which stretches back to 1998, and has suffered a number of unforeseeable complications. The original demolition contract was delayed by the need to rehouse occupants of the old building, and, more significantly, because the original contractor for that stage of the project, Controlled Demolition, went

bankrupt. The demolition was carried out in 2004 by another firm. The next stage was the building of foundations for the structure. This was delayed by the unexpected withdrawal of a contractor. As a University statement

£14 million Cost of the final stage of the project noted, “the start has been subject to delays, largely driven by the need to reconcile construction costs to the University’s budget” . This led to the employment of Cowlin who were able to begin construction in November 2008, and have just finished work on the building.

FirstGroup have raised local bus fares. From April 4th, all single fares are 10p higher, and returns are 15p extra. VP Communications Ben Cole bemoaned the move on Twitter “if you put your prices up on student routes it might be nice if you could tell the students’ union [sic]!” See page 2-3 for more University news

RAG fashion show a success On Wednesday 17th March, Bath’s Assembly Rooms hosted the annual RAG Fashion Show, which showcased clothes by Ted Baker, Guess and Republic. Bodysoc provided supplementary entertainment at the event. See page 12 for Georgina Cotton’s report

Summer festivals announce line-ups Glastonbury, Reading and Leeds, and V Festival have all revealed their line-ups. Stevie Wonder, U2 and Muse are to headline Glastonbury, while the other two festivals will be headed by popular indie bands. See page 25 for Phil Bloomfield and Alec McLaurin’s festival guide


Tuesday 20th April 2010

News bathimpact Summer Ball Editor Tim Leigh

Deputy Editor Josie Cox News Steve Ramsey Debora Sönksen Opinion Emma Simmons Features Siân Lewis Entertainments Phil Bloomfield Alex Drake Science Professor Science Edward Johnson Sport Sean Lightbown Sam Foxman Publicity Officer Georgina Cotton IT Officer/Treasurer David Kennaway Chief Sub-Editor Katie Rocker

»»Tickets on sale now »»Support act not yet confirmed


his year’s Summer Ball tickets are already on sale for graduating students. The event, which will take place on the 5th of June, has two types of ticket on sale: Entertainment Tickets, which give you all £37 worth of this year’s musical acts and events, and the VIP Graduate Tickets, for sale at £53.50, which include a three-course meal in the University’s Claverton Rooms. The whole event will run from 6pm on Friday the 5th to 2am on Saturday the 6th. The event will take place in two distinct arenas, each with its own entertainment. Arena 1 encompasses the area surrounding the University lake, where guests will have the opportunity to be professionally photographed in their suits and enjoy the lake view while listening to a brass band. Level One will be the venue for learning how to ballroom dance, while Plug Bar will host one of two casinos, body artists and interactive entertainment. Street entertainers will be on Parade, performing juggling and stilt walking acts. Arena 2 includes the Sports

Hall, which will host the musical guests, as well an extension area of three fully-furnished marquees with bars, a carousel and the second free casino. In addition to the carousel, the summer carnival feeling is enhanced by several free rides such as the Orbitor and the Dodgems. A food court will also be available, as well as several other on-site facilities for snack breaks. This year’s top act, The Pigeon Detectives, have been hired by the University to perform at the Ball, as well as Scott Mills and Beat a Maxx. At the time of writing, however, a support act is still to be confirmed. The black tie event Entertainment tickets will be available to the general public on the 26th of April. Tickets will be sold online through summerball, and can be collected at Elements between the days of 17th May and 3rd June, or can be delivered to you for an extra fee. Tickets last year sold out in less than seven hours, so those wishing to attend should get their tickets as soon as possible!

Advertising Enquires Helen Freeman 01225 386806

Printed by Harmsworth Press Ltd.

Paris Hitch

»»Teams of two race to the capital »»Still time to sign up


he annual Paris Hitch is here! For those of you who don’t know, the Paris Hitch is a sponsored charity hitchhike to the Eiffel Tower. This year it will be running from Bath on Friday 23rd April. It’s a race done in

Last year the Hitch raised £14,000 for charity

teams of two - including at least one guy - and the faster participants get there, the more time they get to spend in Paris; the fastest team will win an as yet unspecified prize. It’s a chance to go to Paris for next to nothing (and is completely free to those who raise over £240 sponsorship!). The plan is for teams to leave on Friday morning, and make their way, by hitching, to the Eiffel Tower, hopefully all arriving on Friday evening. This leaves them that night and all of Saturday to enjoy Paris before the coach leaves on Saturday evening. If you’re interested in taking part in this exciting, once-in-a-lifetime event then visit or email, and visit Tom in the Volunteer Centre to sign up (1 East level 3 corridor). There are limited spaces available, so students are encouraged to apply as soon as possible.

Tennis star questioned over sex assault outside Bath club


Headliners The Pigeon Detectives

Students protest non-renewal of lecturer’s contract The opinions expressed in bathimpact are not necessarily those of the bathimpact editors nor of the University of Bath Students’ Union. Whilst every effort is made to ensure that the information contained in this publication is correct and accurate at the time of going to print, the publisher cannot accept any liability for information which is later altered or incorrect. bathimpact as a publication adheres to the Press Complaints Commission’s Code of Conduct. Please contact them for any information.

»»Incident outside XL »»UK no.7 “fully co-operating”

VP Communications Ben Cole 01225 386679

bathimpact Students’ Union University of Bath Bath BA2 7AY 01225 38 6151 01225 44 4061



Teaching fellow Katherine Harbord wants to stay at Bath .

The ESML department has revealed its intention not to renew the contract of teaching fellow Katherine Harbord, though she wishes to stay at the University. Ms Harbord, who was only employed by the University in September, evidently made an impression on some, as the news provoked students to create a protest group on a ubiqitous social networking site, declaring their belief that “the department is making a grievous error in this decision.”

The group links to a survey (www. where students can register their view on the decision. At the time of writing, the group had 268 members, some of whom had registered messages of support for the lecturer, describing her as an “absolute legend”, who is a “fantastic teacher”. One of this year’s unsuccesful Sabb candidates berated “foolish Breakwell”; another added that “we need to make a hell of a fuss”.

an Evans, Britain’s no.7 tennis player, has been questioned by police over a sexual assault in Bath. The victim, who is believed to be a student, had left XL on Walcot Street and was talking with two men when one of them pushed her onto a discarded mattress and committed the assault. Police issued a photo of three men they wished to talk to, all of whom are tennis players. Mr Evans, who is known as the “bad boy of British tennis”, is understood to be “fully co-operating”. The Mail quotes an unnamed tennis expert as saying “Dan Evans is still seen as something of a tearaway. He likes a night out and he has a history of misdemeanours... He needs to grow up.” However, his father, quoted in the same paper, said “He has already been in touch with the police to tell them he had nothing to do with the sexual assault on the young girl... He is relaxed about the whole thing - as far as Dan is concerned he has exonerated him-

self from the police inquiry. From what he has said, we don’t expect this to go any further.” In an unrelated incident, Bath Chief Constable Colin Port is hoping to conduct a review of the Weir Lounge. The Chronicle cites “a high level of crime and disorder caused by late night revellers” as the reason for this, claiming there has been “a string of incidents at the venue since June last year”.


News in brief In light of disappointing attendance at recent events, the Flirt! event on Friday night will now be “FREE before 11.30 and £3 there after [sic]”. The price change, coinciding with a minor increase in drink prices, will be in effect until the end of term. The Bath Soup Company, which was founded by former Bath students, has launched a temporary shop in Milsom Place as part of Best in the West, a month-long event celebrating local food. Jason Malone, Dominic Povey and Ed Smyth took part in the Student Enterprise 09 event, where their produce proved so successful they decided to expand, and the firm is now reasonably successful. SORTED, the SU department which “offers students at Bath University free training sessions to develop transferable skills to improve employment prospects”, is looking for Student Trainers for the next academic year. Students interested in this opportunity should attend the SORTED awards night on Wednesday 28th April, or email with a brief description of the skills they have which make them well-equipped for the role. A collaborative project between academics at the Universities of Bath and Dundee, and Indian scientists, are hoping to invent a way to make concrete from rice husks and coal ash. Bath Professor Kevin Paine said that “concrete is the second most used material in the world after water, and so reducing the CO2 emissions produced by it could make a real difference to climate change.” Niraj Kumar, a PHD student from the School of Management, has been recognised by the British Council’s International Student Awards, which honour the UK’s best international students. Kumar was selected as a “regional runner-up”. He will shortly receive an award and prize of £100.


News Changes considered to Students turning to Fitness to Practise policy sex industry? students can be prevented »»Problematic »»Concerns raised by Professor from graduation only affects pharmacists, but may »»Scale of problem not known »»Currently be extended to more courses . .


he University are currently considering changes to their ‘fitness to practise’ policy. The policy currently applies only to pharmacy students, and means that students can be disqualified from their course if they exhibit severe mental or physical disturbances, inappropriate or criminal behaviour, plagiarism, cheating, or persistent lecture nonattendance. This is insisted on by the Royal Pharmaceutical Society to ensure Pharmacists comply with their standards of competence and suitability. Under the proposals currently

being considered, this policy may be extended more widely, to include any students on courses which lead to jobs in areas for which ‘fitness to practise’ is considered relevant, primarily jobs which involve interacting with vulnerable people, for example education and social work. The policy has proved controversial within the University and Students’ Union because any students excluded under its terms are not granted any kind of degree, and, due to the relatively broad scope of the policy, could be applied in cases in which it is inappropriate.

NUS Conference report

»»New representatives elected

Last week saw the annual NUS conference, at which next year’s representatives were elected. Aaron Porter was chosen as NUS President, and will take over from Wes Streeting in June. The President-elect said “This is a time to continue pressurising politicians not to increase the cap on fees, and we will be publicly shaming those that refuse to sign our Vote for Students pledge”. New Vice Presidents Usman Ali (Higher Education) and Shane Chowen (Further Education) were also elected, along with Ed Marsh, who will be VP

Union news Students’ Union wins environmental award The National Union of Students has recognised Bath Uni Students’ Union as one of the UK’s most environmentally friendly, giving it silver in the Sound Environmental Impact Awards on March 31st. The SU was ranked 6th out of 83, and was close to winning gold. Recent

Union Development. Marsh stated his belief that the NUS “should not be the voice of seven million students, but seven million voices”.


oncerns have been raised over student welfare after a report by Kingston University’s Dr Ron Roberts found that 25% of students know someone who has taken to the sex industry to help fund their studies, up from 3% ten years ago. 11% of those questioned would consider working as an escort. Roberts believes that his results, from a survey of one London university, apply nationally. The BBC, reporting this, quoted ‘Chloe’, from an unnamed ‘West Country university’ as saying that “If I didn’t do [lap] dancing, I wouldn’t be able to afford to be at university”. A spokesperson for the University of Bath told the BBC that “We have checked with both our Students’ Union and with our Student Services department and neither feel that this issue is relevant to the University of Bath.” It is not immediately clear on what basis the Uni-

versity claims that the issue is not relevant to students, as neither the University nor the Students’ Union collect any sort of information on it. In the absence of figures it is impossible to tell how many Bath students have turned to the sex industry, if any; students are reminded that the SU runs an Aware service to give confidential advice on a number of issues, including personal problems. Those wishing to use the service can do so by email ( telephone (01225 386906) or in person, at the AWARE Centre in 1East Level 3.

Bath Parliamentary candidates to debate on campuis

»»Main three parties to be represented

Aaron Porter was elected NUS President environmental initiatives of the Union include lobbying for fewer bins, a cycle path, and more recycling facilities. A Union statement declared that “[We] will continue to work hard on green issues with the aim of achieving a gold award at next year’s ceremony.”

Tomorrow Bath’s Parliamentary candidates will face each other in a General Election Symposium, taking place in 8w1.1 at 1pm. The confirmed guests are Lib Dem incumbent Don Foster, Conservative Fabian Richter, Labour’s Hattie Ajderian, Green Party candidate Eric Lucas and UKIP’s Ernie Warrender. There are two other candidates, Champagne Charlie from

the Monster Raving Loony Party, and Robert Craig, from the English Democrats, an anti-EU and antiimmigration party, are not scheduled to attend. A series of other events relating to the election will be happening throughout the day, including a talk on the rise of the extreme Right by University Dean Roger Eatwell.

University receives £750,000 donation The Esther Parkin Trust has donated £750,000 to the University, which will use it to “support an annual Visiting Professorship for eminent visitors from abroad [and] six PhD students of high academic ability also from outside the UK.” David Parkin, who lectured in the Physics department for many years, used money inherited from his mother to set up a charitable trust to help fund projects at the University, including the construction of the Esther Parkin Residences on campus.

Richard Guthrie

39 year-old Bath Spa Alumni Shaun McGall has been appointed the new Mayor of Bath, and will take office in June. He served as a local councillor for eleven years, and, according to the Bath Chronicle, “has made it his business to improve relations between Bath and its student population”.

Tuesday 20th April 2010

A recent debate on tuition fees proved popular


Tuesday 20th April 2010



Israel say, US do? Chloe Wittet News Writer


p until recently, when someone mentioned the USA and Israel in the same sentence images would spring to mind of Obama and Netanyahu dancing hand in hand under the rain of Hamas bullets, but no more. Fissures in the once unshakable relationship started to show when announcements of 1,600 more Jewish settlements in East Jerusalem were made during a visit to the area by the US Vice-President, Joe Biden. Mr Biden condemned the move but

went on with the visit and announced that “the United States stands resolutely beside Israel against the scourge of terrorism from which both of our countries have suffered badly”. Similarly, Hilary Clinton said she felt insulted, but barely a few days later spoke of the unshakeable bond between Israel and the United States. Perhaps it’s not a case of the unshakeable bond but the unshakeable Israel lobby, which is strong in Washington. The US has found itself torn between punishing and pandering to Israel. On one hand it wishes to successfully negotiate the

Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu meets Barack Obama at the White House

Goodluck Jonathan, you’ll need it Chloe Wittet News Writer


oodluck Jonathan is an ironic name for someone put in charge of one of Africa’s most troubled countries. Mr Jonathan was named acting President of Nigeria in February after a few months of riots caused by the power-vacuum which developed when the head of state, Umaru Yar’Adua, disappeared abroad for medical treatment. Not bad for a person who has never been elected to

500 Number killed in recent religious riots major public office in his own right. Some say his name is rather apt for describing his own fortune in being named President. Others, however, argue that he has work cut out for him. The situation in Nigeria is somewhat delicate after the massacres in Jos, the latest (7th March) claiming an estimated 500 lives, tensions in the country have reached palpa-

ble levels. Jos, situated between the two major social groups, the Muslim North and the Christian South, has experienced the worst of the tensions in Nigeria, which has around 250 different ethnic groups and a population of 150m. This has not been helped by Umaru Yar’Adua’s absence from his post as President, which has led to a central power-vacuum, uprisings and general chaos in the country, whose civilians are unaware who is leading them. Even though Yar’Adua has apparently returned from hospital, and is now back in Nigeria, he still hasn’t returned to his post. Meanwhile back at base, the newly appointed Mr Jonathan has dissolved the cabinet, whose members are to be replaced by some of his own ‘special choices’. Some see this as a way of getting rid of Yar’Adua supporters in favour of his own, but is this really a bad move? Many argue that it isn’t. Clearly the cabinet had not been effective in stopping killings occurring. Mr Jonathan has even been said to be too cautious in what is an urgent matter, using diplomacy when perhaps force would be more effective. As Wole Soyinka, winner of the Nobel literature prize in 1986 argues, it’s when

terms between Israel and Palestine, and gain the title of ‘honest broker’, an impossible feat unless Israel ceases building settlements. On the other hand it feels the strings of the powerful Israel lobby restraining it.

1,600 Number of Israeli settlements to be built in a disputed part of Jerusalem The timing of the announcement could not have been worse. After years of negotiations, the Americans were finally making headway in the peace agreements between Palestine and Israel, largely thanks to George Mitchell, the US peace envoy. Mahmoud Abbas, Palestine’s President, had finally agreed to negotiate a two-state solution as long as Israel would cease its settlement building. Though Mr Netanyahu denies his involvement in the plans, claiming it to be a low-level bureaucratic process, he hasn’t put a stop to it either. The US administration is going to have to make a choice of where its priorities lie; is it going to accept the token bouquet of flowers from its discourteous other half, or is Israel going to be sleeping on the sofa for a while?

there is no strong leader in place that desperation takes over and the killings begin. What is certain is that the military cannot be relied on to run Nigeria. The ‘militrician’, or military politician, is all too common in Nigeria. They had the intelligence and the capabilities to prevent the killings in Jos; a public announcement had been made a week before by the Inspector General talking of forthcoming eruptions, but nothing was done to prevent it. Some feel the massacres are the work of unscrupulous politicians wanting to settle scores, so perhaps a new cabinet and change of direction is exactly what the doctor ordered. Whatever the outcome, Mr Jonathan must move fast and bring reform to the Nigerian electorate by next year’s elections, otherwise the country is going to need more than just Goodluck!

Umaru Yar’Adua with Dimitry Medvedev

World News in brief Moscow, Russia: Eduard Chuvashov, one of Russia’s leading judges, was assassinated on April 12th. The assailant fled the scene, the stairwell of Chuvashov’s apartment, after shooting the judge in the head and chest, killing him instantly. Investigators believe the murder was a contract killing related to his work, which were often “difficult criminal cases”, including two prosecutions of far-right groups accused of hate crimes. Last week he gave sentences of ten to twenty years to members of the ‘Ryno Gang’ who had killed at least 20 people of ‘non-Slavic appearance’. In February he gave similar sentences to members of another gang which carried out ethnically motivated killings. Last year, a top anti-racist lawyer, another human rights lawyer, and an investigative journalist were killed by extremists. Charges were brought for the latter two murders; there are no suspects in the Chuvashov case.

provisional government, and promised elections would be held in six months. Mr Bakiyev was brought to power in 2005 by a popular uprising known as the ‘Tulip Revolution’, and promised to combat corruption and poverty, but was seen as having failed at this, and was accused of nepotism and authoratarianism. Discontent had been visible since 2007; April of that year saw mass protests against the government. Two years later, the presidential election was denounced by international

Smolensk, Russia: A plane carrying 96 people crashed on April 10th, killing all inside, including Polish President Lech Kaczyński, the head of the army and the Governor of the Central Bank. The plane crashed in thick fog, and the incident is not thought to be suspicious, though Russia will hold an official enquiry, to be headed by Vladimir Putin. The head of Parliament, Bronislaw Komorowski, has taken over the President’s duties temporarily, and declared a national week of mourning, saying “we are united - there is no [political] left or right - we are united in national mourning”. Kaczyński, who was elected in 2005, and his twin brother, had been active in the anti-communist movement in the 80s, and helped propel Lech Walesa to power after the fall of the communist government in 1990.

observers, and the main opposition leader pulled out on election day citing “mass voter fraud”. A US airbase in the country is crucial to the war in Afghanistan, and, after receiving $1.3 billion in aid from Russia last February, Bakiyev agreed to close it down, but reneged on his promise, a move which upset the Kremlin. On this basis, some allege that the Russian government had a hand in the coup, though they denied this.

Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan: On April 7th, riots broke out over government corruption and energy prices, leaving 75 dead and 1,000 injured. The violence caused President Kurmanbek Bakiyev and his government to flee from the capital. Opposition leader Roza Otunbayeva announced herself head of a

Ventersdorp, South Africa: White supremacist leader Eugene Terreblanche has been killed. Two of his farm employees have been arrested over the incident. Initial reports suggested the killing followed a dispute about unpaid wages, though it was later alleged the killers acted in self defence, as Terreblanche was trying to sexually assault them. Mr Terreblanche, who had spent three years in prison for attempted murder, was the leader of the Neo-Nazi Afrikaner Resistance Movement, which advocated the creation of a separate white homeland. The controversial leader had fought to preserve Apartheid, and threatened to instigate a civil war if plans to hand power to Mandela’s ANC went ahead. President Zuma condemned the killing, issuing a statement asking “South Africans not to allow agent provocateurs to take advantage of this situation by inciting or fuelling racial hatred.”

19 April-1 MAy

Mon. 19th April Downtown @ Po Na Na 10pm-2am Wed. 21st April SCORE! 9:30pm-2am Fri. 23rd April flirt! Clubbers and Ravers 9:30pm-3am FREE ENTRY B4 11:30pm

Club N ights

Sat. 24th April Comeplay 10pm - 2am Mon. 26th April Downtown 10pm-2am Tues. 27th April Tiffany Page - Ulive 7:30pm-11pm Wed. 28th April SCORE! 9:30pm-2am Fri. 30th April flirt! 9:30pm-3am Sat. 1 May Comeplay 10pm-2am

live sports Mon.19th April Liverpool Vs West Ham 8pm (Premier League) Tues. 20th April Inter Milan Vs Barcelona 7:45pm (UEFA Champions League Semi Final) Thurs. 22nd April Atletico Madrid Vs Liverpool 8:05pm (Europa League Semi Final) Sat. 24th April Man. United Vs Tottenham 12:45pm (Premier League) Arsenal Vs Man. City 5:30pm (Premier League) Sun. 25th April IPL Final (Cricket) 3pm Wed. 28th April Barcelona Vs Inter Milan (UEFA Champions League Semi Final) Thurs. 29th April Liverpool Vs Atletico Madrid (Europa League Semi Final)

University of Bath Students’ Union


Tuesday 20th April 2010



Hanging on to public finances Confused by all this talk of a ‘hung Parliament’? If so, read on to learn what all the fuss is about and to find out what politics contributors Ginny Westminster and Gus Lamb think about the possibility of such an outcome from the next election


ast week, as you’re no doubt already aware, the Queen officially dissolved Parliament in preparation for what promises to be the biggest election battle since Labour’s victory in 1997. The recent YouGov and IPSOS MORI polls place Labour around 5 points behind the Con-

While this might not seem important to you, reading this over a PitStop sandwich, it means your vote in this general election could just be worth more for your well-being than a Kickin’ Chicken servatives, meaning that Labour need to cling on to 24 seats to retain an absolute majority. On the other hand, for a Conservative majority, the opposition party need to gain a whopping 116 seats, otherwise the rarity of a hung parliament under the First Past the Post system will become a reality. A hung Parliament occurs when no parties have a majority in the House of Commons, resulting in the creation of either a coalition government, or – which is more likely in the event of Conservative gains – a Parliament with a minority government. The Liberal Democrats have hinted that they are inclined to support the latter if a hung Parliament occurs, giving rise to the potential for inter-party disputes when it comes to passing legislation. The last time the UK experienced such a phenomenon was in 1974, and it only lasted a mere 8 months before parliament was dissolved and another general election took place. But, as politically compelling as the concept may be, a hung Parliament is set to further jeopardise our economic recovery. While this might not seem important to you, reading this over a Pitstop sandwich, it means your vote in this general election could just be worth more for your wellbeing than a Kickin’ Chicken. For starters, one of the worrying aspects of a hung Parliament for both voters and political par-

ties is that the failure to form a successful coalition government could result in a second general election – an unnecessary drain on both finances and the public. For economists, the worry is that this would encourage any party to delay their fiscal consolidation plan (e.g. increased taxes and spending cuts) with a view to gain marginal votes. Crucially, any delay in formulating a sustainable fiscal consolidation plan could result in a run on sterling and a possible downgrade on the UK’s credit rating. While cutting public spending – as promised by the Conservatives – would strengthen sterling’s position, the possibility of a hung Parliament means that early fiscal consolidation may be shelved for a little longer than economists had hoped. Is that really such a bad thing? Well, firstly, markets are very sensitive about uncertainties. Credit agencies have been considerably more careful in their ratings since the banking crisis. The UK is currently on watch, and they have advised the government to reduce national debt, fearing that the UK will not be able to support a higher fiscal deficit which will in turn increase the possibility of a default. In light of events in Iceland and Greece, some economists would certainly advise tightening the purse-strings. If the UK is downgraded from its AAA credit status (the highest possible rating),

lic spending and consolidating fiscal finances too soon could lead to what’s known as a ‘double-dip’ recession. Clearly, public finances would need to be addressed eventually, but the question dividing

With an unpredictable job market and promises of increased tuition fees, you might want to give a thought to how to make the system work for you economists everywhere is when is it best to do this? Two groups of leading economists last month came out in support in the Financial Times and the Sunday Times, of the respective policy proposals for and against delaying until 2011 at the earliest. At last week’s Bath Economics Society (BEST) Summit, Hamish McRae from The Independent pointed out that both groups’ arguments for supporting policy are fundamentally the same, the only difference is the

timing and the minimal cost difference incurred between them. Naturally, a hung Parliament will make it difficult for parties to agree on which date is best, but if economists themselves are divided on who to back come election day, that makes our job of deciding who goes boom and who goes bust all the more difficult. Should the market be this occupied with the prospect of a hung Parliament? Martin Wolf of the Financial Times argues on the contrary; that in fact, the most efficient and successful fiscal consolidation happens in coalition governments. And of course, us first-time voters – for the most part more concerned with single issues than party track records – are likely to benefit from better representation in a coalition government, where smaller parties are able to participate more actively in mainstream politics. The Liberal Democrats, for example, who are currently trailing around 20 points behind the Conservatives, and have considerable student backing, have indicated that they wish to seek support for poli-

cies rather than seats in the Cabinet. With their Shadow Chancellor Vince Cable, (or Invincecable as he’s known in the game) aiding Darling or Osborne in our economic recovery under a coalition, the UK might actually be in a position to negotiate the best of both policy proposals, and politicians will be obliged to listen to voters. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The election is still a month away and the general public is still to decide on their preferred candidate. However, voters in marginal constituencies have shown, in recent Reuters polls that they unknowingly support a hung Parliament through wanting change in government but not in leadership. While you’re unlikely to be worrying about any of this amid coursework deadlines and what you’re going to wear to ‘Flirt!’ later, with an unpredictable job market and promise of increased tuition fees, you might want to give a thought to how to make the system work for you. Will it? Watch this space.

Now, where to put that ‘x’...

The Labour government maintains that cutting public spending too soon could lead to what’s known as a ‘double dip’ recession this would send shocks down the foreign exchange market, stock market and bond markets, and a hung Parliament could be just the catalyst. However, the last quarterly ONS figures show that the British economy has only just come out of recession in 2009 Q4 (and even then by only a margin of 0.3% GDP growth on the previous quarter), and the Labour government maintains that cutting pub-

Name: Gordon Brown Party: Labour Party Date of Birth: 20 February 1951 Alma mater: University of Edinburgh GB says: I got us into this mess, it’s only fair I get us out of it. Vote for me, because last time, I didn’t let you. Striking?! So, what, they’re complaining because they are employed now? I can’t win!

Name: David Cameron Party: Conservative Party Date of Birth: 9 October 1966 Alma mater: University of Oxford DC says: I’m down with the kids, but unlike Tinie Tempah, I got so many clothes I keep them in my ducks’ house. I’m the face of change for Britain, but I plan on pocketing yours to pay for it. I’ll deliver on Europe, by re-branding ourselves as UKIP and losing all our influence.

Name: Nick Clegg Party: Liberal Democrats Date of Birth: 7 January 1967 Alma mater: University of Cambridge NC says: No, I wasn’t ever in Last of the Summer Wine. Yes, honestly. Think of us as politics equivalent of Jedward – the loveable underdog; entertaining, hopeless and none of us look good in yellow.

Tuesday 20th April 2010




General ignorance and why your vote matters Ginny Westminster Opinion Contributor


ith the next General Election looming and competition between the three main parties hotting up, it's time to put aside those books for a second, and give a thought to who you’re going to vote for. ‘But I’m not going to vote’ you say. Oh yes you are. Despite the Punch and Judy politics we’re used to in this country, of ‘he said/ she said’ accusations and counter accusations, of spin and spam campaigning, and of looking on as each side verbally bonks the other on the head during Prime Minister’s Questions, it's finally our

A whole generation of students have grown up under Labour, watched as Blair did his best, and worst, and were seen and not heard when it came to the issue of tuition fees chance to boo the villains off-stage. And yes, they exist in each party.

For many of us this will be our first chance to vote. A whole generation of students have grown up under Labour, watched as Blair did his best, and worst, and were seen and not heard when it came to the single most important issue for us as citizens: tuition fees. For the first time, a generation of Labour’s children are now at the forefront of British politics, with the power to commend and condemn those who have shaped our education process. We finally have the opportunity as first-time voters to come of age, pen-in-hand, to pop our voting cherry. Surely there can be nothing more exciting! Admittedly, we are all guilty of finding excuses not to actively participate in the electoral process, and it's true enough that nowadays the three main parties seem to offer the same policies, aim to tackle the same problems, and point the finger at each other when it comes to taking responsibility. As if it's not difficult enough deciphering who’s 'all that' and who’s 'all talk' when it comes to policy and manifestos, the media adds to the problem. This makes it somewhat unsurprising that at the last election, voting figures were at an all-time low.

It's a sobering fact that more people voted in the X-Factor final than in the last general election. But, if you know your JLS from your BNP, then you will also know that voting is not only going to make a valid contribution, but is also your democratic duty. While you may not have paid much attention when Labour won

The lack of representation for issues that students care most about may suggest trouble ahead for student turnout at the election over Britain in 1997 (or, dare I say it, in subsequent elections), and while you may perceive Ca-maroon to be just another shade of Brown, with the promise of another truly compelling competition between the three main parties, desperately trying to steer away from (or in the Lib Dem’s case, towards) a hung parliament, I ask you to cast your minds back to 1997 and think about what has got you whooping or hissing since. Back then we were fresh, innocent young souls, blissfully ignorant of the

evils of politics, peerages and Peter Mandelson. Our only money troubles concerned how much Woolworth’s pick-and-mix you could get for your week’s pocket money, our only expectations of the NHS were that we’d get a lollipop and a novelty plaster after our jabs. For some of you, your worries may still be the same. For others, it may just be the NHS that is a pain in your side, but for all of us, life after university and seeing the economy out of recession is not just in our interest but is our next task. There will come a time when you, as your parents before you, will want to blame politicians for past mistakes, but right now, as a generation, we’re all under the spotlight. The lack of representation for issues that students care most about may suggest trouble for students’ turnout in the general election. However, as those proactive few among us are aware, you can’t steer politics to suit you unless you show that you care. If you don’t know enough about what’s on offer, do a little research, speak to your local MP, let him/her know what you want and what they can offer you in return for your support. Don’t just take a back seat in

what is essentially your future. For those of you still not convinced, note then, that while no parties are offering further direct support to university graduates struggling to find a job, one thing Labour have done for you is guarantee that when you do find one, you’d have more money in your pocket than this time ten years ago, thanks to their establishment in 1999 of a minimum wage. What’s more, this year’s budget announced plans to cut Stamp Duty for first-time buyers, so that when you eventually save up that pocket money to get your own place, it shouldn’t be as much of a struggle. Whether this is enough for you to excuse them of the burden of tuition fees, though, is up to you. Regardless, this is your first opportunity to hold Labour accountable, to tell No 10. what it is that YOU want, and demand that when you do finish uni, your money will not be spent buying Mr Clegg biscuits and trimming Mr Cameron’s bush. While the candidates themselves may be more Widow Twanky than Prince Charming, don’t let that put you off. Whatever your view (you have one), shout it, or else it may come back to haunt you.


Tuesday 20th April 2010



Delia can’t save football, Coleen’s our only hope David James Opinion Contributor


enowned TV chef Delia Smith has this week announced that she will single-handedly attempt to save her beloved Norwich City Football Club from the perils of bankruptcy. How will she do this you ask? Well, I’m afraid a friendly cake sale is out of the question as ‘the Canaries’ are supposedly £23m in debt. A new cook book possibly? However, that’s also unlikely, as the only

The only readers of Delia’s previous ‘How to Cheat’ recipe book turned out to be John Terry and Ashley Cole readers of Delia’s previous ‘How to Cheat’ recipe book turned out to be John Terry and Ashley Cole. The only option left open to poor Delia is to appear on TV. Not on frivolous shows such as ‘I’m a Celebrity… Get me some Panto work’, but as the

new face of Waitrose, for which the luxury supermarket is paying her almost £10m. Yet the startling question this raises is; why is Delia bothering? Footballers already receive outrageously huge salaries that cannot possibly reflect their level of skill or experience. Brain surgeons, lawyers or professors, people with staggering levels of ability in their respective fields, earn peanuts compared to the footballers of today. So why do footballers earn so much? Because as far as many people can work out, all players do is run around for an hour and a half, watched by millions of people that could have done with the exercise. Well, players generate vast revenues for the clubs they play for. When David Beckham signed to L.A. Galaxy in 2007, match ticket sales increased by 25%, American broadcaster ESPN recorded viewing figure rises of over 23% whenever Beckham played and the club’s revenue increased by over $17m (£11.1m) in that season alone.

Moreover, whilst a regular career may span 25-30 years, a typical footballer’s is over in less than nine. Retirement in the football industry arrives at thirty-three, and bearing in mind the sheer level of unpaid training required to reach a professional level, many players will only play for their respective clubs for eight years or less. However most importantly, players get paid huge sums of money because the market dictates that they should. If Joe Public was really that bothered that footballers were paid too much, he would cancel his Sky Sports subscription, boycott the games and refuse to buy any replica kit. Yet whilst he continues to pay £50 a month for TV, £50 for a match ticket and £50 for a club shirt, football will continue to be a boom industry and be able to afford such high salaries for its top players. Yet since footballers have the money to save their clubs, why don’t they? Too busy shacking-up with each other's wives I suspect.

But the most likely culprits for football’s wayward financial performance may be WAGs. Whilst their husbands are earning money on the field, their wives are spending it on the surgeon’s table, leaving no money left for players to bail

out their clubs. So my advice this week goes to football managers everywhere, keep the players but lose their girlfriends. You won’t only be saving British football, but you’ll stop Delia having to interrupt ‘Coronation Street’ yet again this week.

The modern female student... or is it? Sophie Winwood Opinion Contributor


fter reading ‘Reflections on the modern male student’ in the 10th edition of Impact, I came away confused and slightly vexed. After an initial read, the writer appears to sympathise whole-heartedly with the apparent heterosexual female dilemma:

Must we be repeatedly shagged and left, bringing us ever-closer to the seemingly inevitable gin-fuelled evenings spent alone, surrounded by cats? where are all the nice guys? Must we be repeatedly shagged and left, bringing us ever closer to the seemingly inevitable gin-fuelled evenings spent alone surrounded by cats, the only creatures to ever give us the affection and loyalty we (apparently) so richly deserve from being born female? Whilst that may be a somewhat over-egged dramatisation, the impression I got from reading this article left me truly baffled about how straight male and female students really view one another. Is it true that there are simply ‘nice guys’ and ‘laddish louts’ and it’s up to us pretty, clever

girls to come to our senses and stop dating the bad guys and give the nice ones a chance to wow us? Or something like that. Sounds suspiciously like the plot from ‘There’s Something About Mary’. So can it really be so black and white? I am appreciative of the fact that this article had the best of intentions. Singing the praises of the ‘confident, beautiful and educated women’ of Bath University is surely a nice thing to do. However, whilst I am not trying to assert that any of the women attending Bath University don’t fit neatly into this flattering description, I am not supportive of the overall impression of female students given either. As a girl myself, I have made mistakes involving relationships before, and undoubtedly will again. My mistakes have not, however, been down to my uncontrollable feminine weakness for the ‘bad guy’ I can assure you. I can’t necessarily speak for all of my fellow female students here. Maybe, for whatever deeply rooted psychological reason, some girls are attracted to guys who will love them and leave them. Personally, being on a course made up almost entirely of ‘confident, beautiful and educated women’, I can’t say that this is an impression that is familiar to me. As much as I am supportive of the idea of a selfrespecting attitude in girls (and

boys alike) and the importance of being appreciated and respected in any kind of relationship, I cannot adhere to the implied notion that we girls simply need to look further than the first testosterone-fuelled jock we see and fall helplessly into the strong arms of. I don’t believe that this generalised view of the

One-night stands happen, but this is not to say that both parties have not participated with the same sense of self-interest female student body is justified, and it is, however unintentionally, fairly offensive. I’m sure I’m not the only girl within the boundaries of the university to allow myself to be chatted up by a nice looking guy who perhaps has a little more interest in himself than anyone else, but that is a far cry from lusting after them. The article to which I refer also speaks of the ‘oppressive sexualisation’ that occurs within the university on the part of the so-called laddish louts. Undeniably, yes, this does happen. Some men will talk about women in a degrading way, just as some women may choose to berate men. It happens. Onenight stands happen, but this is not

to say that both parties have not participated with the same sense of self-interest. What IS oppressive is to assume that if a girl does choose to sleep with a guy who can most aptly be described as an arse that she has not chosen to do so for her own gratification, and inevitably will be left heartbroken in the morning when, semi-conscious, she just catches a glimpse of him through the haze of dust thrown up from his sprint away from her. This isn’t intended to be a feminist rant and I am understand-

ing of the intention of said article to be supportive and encouraging to women, which I can’t disagree with in principle. Nonetheless, to be supportive in a way that, arguably, further strengthens certain stereotypes concerning both genders cannot be helpful. I don’t feel that the good guys aren’t given a chance, and to imply that we girls go out looking for yet another macho chauvinist to swoon over is inaccurate to say the least. Right, now I’m off to burn some bras.

Tuesday 20th April 2010




Continuing the quarter-life crisis

Sam Watson completes his article about the confusing period of time which follows graduation


or many a student the best method of dealing with this ailment of the 21st Century, the quarter-life crisis, is to take a ‘year out’. One of the first steps for the modern student in deciding to do a year out/off is to seek a fallacious justification for doing so. Different excuses are floated to explain the motivation, none of which pertain to the clear truth that it’s work avoidance and not an existential, soul-searching voyage to divine your true vocation. Nonetheless, it would be imprudent, given the opportunity to appreciate the world, not to do so; however the vast majority will find themselves in the same state of discordant, nebulous disorientation as soon as they return to England’s green and pleasant land. Travelling provides a transitory re-emergence into the first days of university life, its landscape of ever changing possibilities until either the bank or mummy and daddy withdraw their funding, or someone consumes something that may cause their body to no longer retain its fluids. But what

of a more instant remedy to the quarter-life crisis? An odd symptom of the quarterlife crisis is the apparent onset of the need for companionship. Early on in the university career the thought of going for a ‘date’ would be met with contrived sniggers; the thought that we are trying to emulate our American cousins or that the casual hump does not suffice.

The enveloping realisation that the ‘guest list’ is just an invitation to queue in a different direction adds to the despondence However as the end nears these quasi-romantic rendezvous become inexplicably more frequent, maybe it is the fear of entering adulthood alone, or, more terrifying still, that everyone unwillingly does end up in the same place as their parents. In

this world of romance we are still immature and have no definition of what constitutes a success in this domain; is it finding someone to love or to enter? In a similar fashion we change our favourite watering holes, where once was the place to go, now is too busy or overdone. The enveloping realisation that the ‘guest list’ is just an invitation to queue in a different direction adds to the despondence. New, albeit more expensive, establishments become the norm and the night usually ends rather sensibly; the small, disenfranchised voice in the back of the head finally has its say, its nagging tone reminding you about the seventy percent. The cynical and gloomy tone of this article may help to communicate how someone suffering from the quarterlife crisis is adept at wallowing in their own self-pity. Not all will suffer at the hands of this blight; some have been fully focused on their goal since day one and about them, we, the suffering, care very little. Unlike the midlife crisis, buying a fast car is not an

option, but there are other ways of coping, and it is in this vain that I bid

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a dispirited adieu and shall see you in Thailand.


Tuesday 20th April 2010



The secret diary of a


Via Donna Jenkins and Anna Kasari’s naughty minds.

Sun, sea and...


ven though now is the time that we are meant to be studying hardest the surprise appearance of the sun after being dormant all winter makes it harder and harder for us to concentrate. The rays of sun that fight their way through the window blinds on level 5 bring back those memories from last summer’s romantic sun sets and unexpected passionate encounters. Just reminiscing about our own little adventures made us wonder what you, dear readers, might have got up to during the holidays, and so, we wanted to hear all those wild stories fluttering around campus. We were thrilled to discover that some of you had been more adventurous than we would have ever imagined. We have a tendency to let ourselves go and forget about our inhibitions when on foreign land. One keen trav-


eller revealed a story that could have been in a Hollywood Blockbuster. He and his partner in crime were getting down and dirty on the sand banks of a certain LA beach. They found themselves literally in the spotlight


Madame Soufflé

of a police helicopter that was flying overhead exactly “in the moment” as it were. Other holiday favourites include aquaerobics under the hot Mexican sun and secluded spots on the Catalan coast in the early morning hours. You don’t have to go to a hot country to get steamy. Visiting Santa’s grotto isn’t the only thrill that ski resorts provide - you all seem to have made the most out of the potential pleasures of winter wonderland. One open-minded final year student was offered an opportunity that she just couldn’t turn down; zooming down the slippery slopes was usually the climax of her day but that day was destined to be different. She boarded the ski lift to start the climb when another passenger suddenly joined her, smoothly removed his skiing goggles and made eye contact. It wasn’t long before the abnormal rocking of the ski lift was turning heads on the slopes

Cancer (22 June-22 July): This week’s theme: I shot the Sheriff. Next week’s: But I didn’t shoot the deputy. The week after: And I always pay my TV license on time, so please let me off.

Aquarius (21 January-19 February): In the wise words of David Milliband, “Shakespeare is our greatest living writer”

Leo (23 July-22 August): If reading the Kama Sutra, don’t confuse the Sanskrit phrases for ‘penis’ and ‘butternut squash’; or ‘put in vagina’ and ‘blend and add to risotto’.

Taurus (21 April-21 May): No, semen isn’t one of the main five food groups. How on earth did you get a job writing primary school textbooks? Gemini (22 May-21 June): There’s a difference between ‘dead’ and ‘unconscious’, but it’s better not to use either term on a wedding invitation.

Lib Dem candidate for Bath Don Foster is clearly an avid fan of the Sexperts, and was snapped (above) getting clued up on safe sex.

Episode 12: In which I meticulously analyse electioneering

Capricorn (22 December-20 January): No Mr Fritzl, when we advised you to teach your daughter about the birds and the bees, that’s not quite what we had in mind.

Aries (21 March-20 April): If your black friend asks why the names Enoch and Oswald are out of fashion, just pretend you don’t know.

air provided easy access - and he was more than willing to do all the work. This time they were lucky; they had no intruders and when the nurse came around next he was sitting at her bedside reading her the latest issue of Nature. We hope you have been inspired by this selection of raunchy encounters, we certainly were… Hold on in there, there are only 46 days until freedom!! Love the Sexperts xxx

The Chronicles of Siânia

Greetings from the heavens my star children. I am Madame Soufflé and I will traverse the astral planes in order to guide you through the year. Fear not; for Madame Souffle will shepherd you through the darkest patches. Remember, these predictions don’t apply to the original cast of Apocalypse Now.

Pisces (20 February-20 March): Exposing yourself at a performance of Cosi Fan Tutti won’t go down well. Adding ‘here’s my magic flute’ will just add to the embarrassment; that’s a different opera.

and condensation made it impossible to see what was going on inside. Unfortunately things don’t always run so smoothly, even on holiday. One unlucky biologist found herself lying in a French hospital following a not so elegant landing on the slopes. Her caring boyfriend flew all the way over to give her some TLC as she lay in bed with a broken knee. After the nurse had done her rounds they soon got comfortable on the narrow hospital bed. Her leg suspended in the

Virgo (23 August-21 September): Sorry to break it to you, but a car bomb is not a form of constructive criticism. Libra (22 September-22 October): Beauty is only skin deep, as Ed Gein once told me. Scorpio (23 October-21 November): “Have you ever been to Electric Ladyland?” is a rhetorical question, and does not require the response “why yes, I do enjoy internet pornography”. Sagittarius (22 November- 21 December): Was it really wise to attempt the chat-up-line “my sex appeal is like the Holocaust: you can’t deny it”?

Siân Anna Lewis Features Editor


wo of my more politicallyminded housemates and I sat and watched Nick, Dave and Gordy doing their best to convince a rather weirdly chosen studio audience that they had the political ‘X Factor’ (a comparison attempting at reaching out to the cultural masses that, personally, made me want to hurl). Using the wonders of wireless internet we simultaneously followed the hilariously biased Daily Mail blog, the Times’ live feed and the Guardian’s election tracker, merrily adding and subtracting points to the last according to very important issues such nattiness of suit (-1 Nick Clegg), spontaneity of jokes (-1 Gordon Brown) and just being a general twat with a botox-ed forehead (-150 David Cameron). While I thought the Speaker was being a bit sensationalist in describing the debate as ‘history in

the making’, and some genuine, spontaneous banter would have greatly relieved the slightly weary shunting back and forth of rehearsed and word-perfect (complete with pauses for emphasis and anecdotal rubbish) arguments, just having televised debates at all is a huge plus for British politics. My favourite moment of the debate was Cameron earnestly waxing lyrical on a certain ‘40 year old black man’ he knows who had arrived in Britain aged six and who had already served 30 years in the Royal Navy. He was ten years old when he enlisted, was he? Nice one Dave, I bet he’s real. Brown’s calm tone and big shoulders did serve him well in coming across as weighty and trustable (pity he’s already in power and hasn’t managed to actually be those things). David Cameron, despite looking like an infant in a posh shirt, did well when deflecting Gordon’s the-Houseof-Lords-is-full-of-toffs remark, reminding him that Labour have had 13 years to do something about it and have so far failed. Clegg (dubbed by bloggers as the ‘man with the golden tie’ - it was pretty reminiscent of a sweet wrapper) was wise in mainly staying out of any Labour v Conservative bitchfights. His underdog status has been transformed overnight following his massive surge in popularity after the debate: just being in the

room on the night, and not being one of the two poles in the traditional binary British political system gives the Lib Dems a huge push in respectability and Obama-style shaking-up-ofthe-establishment hype. The Tories may be championing innovation as well, but let’s be honest, the words “conservative” and “change” are more than a little oxymoronic. While nothing really groundbreaking really seemed to be said in the debate, despite key issues such as immigration and crime being discussed, the Times poll showed that 25% of readers had changed their minds about voting, 51% of Guardianists thought that Clegg came out top, and 46% of those who planned to vote Tory also agreed that Nick had performed the best. Should yellow popularity continue to grow, the least that can be said for a Lib Dem victory is that the man with the golden tie would introduce more level-headed new policies than Cameron, who announced that ‘a Tory government would introduce a national music talent competition called School Stars, which would involve local and regional heats, and would culminate in a national final’. I don’t know whether he is cleverly doing this due to the success of shows like Glee to order to get ‘down with the kids’, or is just a f**king moron.

Tuesday 20th April 2010



Food For Thought

Although we have already done a fissue, we decided that for such a delicious food group, once certainly wasn’t enough. So this week Charlotte visited onefishtwofish, on North Parade, while Elinor stayed home to cook some hearty fishcakes.

The Fissue 2

By Elinor Huggett and Charlotte McCulloch

onefishtwofish - Review

steamed vegetables as side dishes. (Because we were hungry.) The meals were amazing; perfectly cooked and flavoursome, the kind of taste that can only be achieved with really fresh ingredients. To ac-

The meals were amazing, perfectly cooked and flavoursome


lthough we have already done a pesce-themed feature, exceptions have to be made for an exceptional restaurant. onefishtwofish has been on my restaurant agenda for a long time, but it was only recently, when I was taken there on a date, that I actually realized what I had been missing out on. Located on North Parade, near to Opa, this restaurant has received rave reviews and an AA (and not just due to its vast alcohol selection) Rosette (2007), due to its exceptional cuisine and use of fresh sustainably sourced fish and produce; including dairy products from a local organic Jersey herd.

We went there mid-week so the atmosphere was cozy and candle lit. The exposed stone and cavernous design of the restaurant resembled the cellars of a French chateau and the relaxing music echoed off the walls, only added to the intimate ambience. After William scanned the menu for fish fingers and was sorely disappointed, he settled for Dover sole fillets and crayfish on mash, with a cheddar glaze. I ordered rare black sea bream fillet on parmesan and sundried tomato risotto with tapenade (if you don’t know what this is, you’re obviously not posh enough to eat there) We also ordered chips and mixed,

company these, we chose a bottle of (sweet-for me) white wine, because, as a rule of thumb, one should always have white wine with fish dahhling! After dinner, I decided on a champagne jelly with berries and Will chose a Panna Cotta with rasberry coulis. Both of these were lovely finales to our amazing dining experience. It was a fantastic evening, albeit a little too expensive to become a regular activity, (it was approximately £17 per main meal) and definitely not within the typical student budget. That said, I would recommend this restaurant 110% and there are currently deals on at certain times, which I would urge you take advantage of! It is a perfect setting for a romantic date or a lovely meal out with visiting family.

The Travel Bug: A weekend in Oxford City Sightseeing tour bus. Hop on and off all day for £10 (pay the driver on board) – the whole tour lasts about an hour and takes in colleges, the Bodleian Library, the University’s gorgeous parks and a host of shops, museums and restaurants. Make a stop for lunch at one of Mortons’ cute little cafés (at 22 New Inn Hall Street or in the Covered Market) – soup and a roll, £3.50; ‘chocolate kiss’ strawberry flavoured hot choc with marshmallows, £2.10; cakes from £1.50. Then drop by the Covered Market (open 9am-5.30pm Monday to Chris Wotton Travel Contributor


eave early on the Saturday morning and take the train from Bath Spa – changing at Didcot Parkway, you’ll be in Oxford in just under 90 minutes (super offpeak return from £15.80). Take a three-minute walk to drop your bags off at the Central Backpackers hostel on Park End Street (dorms from £17 per night;, then head off and grab a student ticket for the

Novelty flavours at G&Ds ice-cream parlour include Dime Bar, Grand Marnier, Guinness and even port and stilton Saturday, 10am-4pm on Sundays; and tempt yourself with gorgeous clothes, shoes, and an obligatory trip to the Fasta Pasta deli, where you can oggle over some rather


delish grub. But leave room for a noveltyflavoured scoop from one of G&D’s three infamous ice cream parlours (Little Clarendon Street, St. Aldgates or Cowley Road; www. - Dime bar, Grand

Haddock fishcakes


s fish goes, I think haddock is pretty good. It has virtually no fat or salt in it, but is packed full of protein and fishy goodness, and is not only delicious but also very easy to cook. Unfortunately it is also on the Greenpeace ‘seafood red list’, so I urge you to buy sustainably fished haddock only! The following is a ridiculously simple and extremely delicious way to enjoy haddock: the best thing about it is just how impressed people are if you serve them home made fishcakes! Cook the haddock in a hot oven for about 5 minutes, until it flakes

Ingredients: • 2 haddock fillets • 4 spring onions, finely chopped • A couple of medium sized potatoes, chopped and boiled • A handful of grated cheddar • A splash of milk • Plain flour, building up an appetite on the walk there – bangers, mash and red wine jus, £5.50, and a local lager or ale for £3.50. Head back to the hostel and rest your feet with a quiet evening in the cosy TV lounge, where you’ll find free satellite TV, movies and wireless internet.


total cost, including flights and transfers

Marnier, chocolate and chilli, Guinness and even port and stilton flavours all available from £1.75. Having got a taste from the tour bus, take a stroll around some of Oxford’s famous colleges (free admission to most; Harry Potterfamed Christchurch College on St. Aldgates, £4.50 for students) then grab a bite to eat at The Big Bang (Walton Street, www.thebigban-

apart easily. Flake into the boiled potatoes and mash together. I tend to leave the skins on the potatoes, because I personally really like the texture and flavour, but that’s optional. Mix in the cheese and spring onion. If the mixture is too dry, add a splash of milk: it needs to be sticky enough to hold together when being fried. Next, make the fishcakes by taking handfuls of the mixture and mashing them into patty shapes (this bit is good and messy). Roll the cake in plain flour. Then heat some oil in a large frying pan, and once it is hot, cook the fishcakes until golden brown on either side. Serve with salad and/or chips, depending how healthy you want this to be!

Next morning, enjoy the included light breakfast at the hostel before heading to Modern Art Oxford (Pembroke Street; www. - a rather-surreal space-themed exhibition has just finished, but there’s still plenty to take in, and admission is free. Broad Street’s Museum of the History of Science is also one not to be missed (, free admission). Split them up with an unmissable lunch at raved-about Japanese joint Edamame (123.30pm, mains from £5.00, free green tea; Holywell Street, www. Dosed up on culture, finish the day at Kazbar (Cow-

ley Road; with a couple of tapas dishes, from £2.75 – try the Pulpo a la Gallega marinated octopus legs, and Gambas al Chermoula Moroccan tiger prawn tails. Wash down with a glass of Sangria, £3.65, before picking up Bill Spectre’s Oxford Ghost Trail outside Oxford Castle Unlocked at 6.30pm (£6.00, www.ghosttrail. org) - the tours run whatever the weather, just don’t forget your camera! You’ll be finished by 8.15pm, then head for the station and hurtle back to Bath.


Tuesday 20th April 2010



Foreign Correspondence Gina Danielle Reay on la dolce vita in Rome


always knew Erasmus was going to be mad. But I didn’t quite expect the events of the last few weeks. After the initial stress of moving all my stuff over and realising I had in fact forgotten the last two years of Italian teaching at Bath and was now back to “errr, posso errr avere una *shit what’s the word for stamp* por favour”. Nevertheless I grew some balls, got sorted at uni with an exciting timetable of French theatre and Italian journalism and started to really get stuck in. It was when my Italian lecturer added me as a friend on Facebook that I first knew things were going to be a bit different here. Since then we’ve had transport strikes, power cuts, successions of praying Italians chanting down our street and of course have been beeped at walking down the street by anything from policemen to bus drivers. Italy really is a different world. Much like Paris however, the year abroad experience is teaching me

that on my travels, you really never know what’s round the corner and last Friday night taught me this more than anything. Going for a ‘few drinks’ was the first mistake of the night. You know if you declare it’ll only be a few then it will inevitably end up as an all-night session. Four cocktails and two shots each later we were paninied (only true Michael Mcintyre fans will understand this little Italian-related anecdote). My flatmate Beau was doing her best to practise her Italian by explaining to two Sicilian men how she was looking to marry into the Mafia so if they knew anyone interested, to point them her way. It was at this point that our table was graced by the presence of the best part of the ‘Rugby Roma’ squad. What succeeded is a blur but from the major photographic evidence captured, it involved table dancing, bitch fights, me uttering the words “what can I get for four euros twenty” to the simple answer of “nothing”, and, of course, the unnecessary drunken meal of Win! The next thing we know, we’re walking through the ‘Piazza Venezia’, heels in hand, at 6am in the morning, watching the sun come up. Pity I didn’t feel as enthusiastic waking up four hours later with a cracking headache, two stolen shot glasses in my handbag and a text from my friend saying ‘are you alive?’.

New Spring Styles

Sarah Jones lists the five trends set to be big this season 1.Romance From frills to lace to bows, ultrafeminine fairytale frocks are back. Karl Lagerfeld notably used no black in the Chanel Haute Couture Spring 2010 collection, even swapping his infamous black suit for a grey one. Layering is key here, with wispy chiffon and tulle draped, ruched and swathed to create a ladylike aura. Head to Topshop for sweet shop pastels to brighten up any wardrobe.

2.In the Nude Neutral hues will be making a big appearance this spring, adding an instant update to any outfit. El-

egant, barely-there pieces add a classic, understated staple to any wardrobe. Don’t be deceived into thinking it’s all a little bit lacklustre and mindless; every piece has been carefully considered and constructed. Michael Kors cited his main inspiration as architecture with a focus on sharp clean lines.

Rebecca Stagg on la vie Parisienne


o here I am, with barely a month left in Paris and my year abroad coming to an end, and my first thought is: ‘thank God its nearly over!’ It’s not that I haven’t had a great year. I’ve met some fantastic people, I’ve really prepared myself for the academic challenges of final year and I really feel like I’ve experienced ‘la vie Parisienne’. But having almost reached the end of my metaphoric journey, I’m starting to realise the epic mistake I made which has clouded my enjoyment of this year. No, I’m not talking about the time I accidentally gave my phone number to the man in the phone shop (only in France would the phone shop man try to seduce you whilst selling you a new simcard..) and I’m not referring to my extreme embarrassment after pronouncing Pétain (a French general), ‘putain’ (look it up kids) in my French politics class. No, the biggest mistake I’ve made has been the extremely high expectations I set myself before I came to Paris. One of the first reactions people make when you tell them you’re going abroad for a year is, ‘well, you’ll be fluent when you come back!’ This is sadly not true. There may be a few people on your course who have hidden themselves away in some dark corner of Russia and come back speaking so fast and in such slang that you can only gape in horror and amazement at their improvement. But for the majority of linguists who come back from their year aboard, a feeling of, ‘oh is that it, I thought I was meant to be bilingual by now,’ is pretty much standard. Truth is though, it’s still hard not be disappointed and compare yourself to those who seem to have come on leaps and bounds in time it’s taken you to figure where you can buy the cheapest Cadbury’s. What I have learnt, and what I hope to remember when I embark on another journey or ‘life experience’ is that it’s important to recognise all of your achievementsnot just the ones you had planned to gain. Since living in Paris I’ve learnt a great deal about politics and as such have decided that I want to stay on at uni to complete a Masters in something I would never have considered before. I reckon this decision will have just as important an impact on my life as any improvement to my language could have.

4.New wave Beach inspired collections create a new take on bodycon, with sporty neoprene pieces in marine hues. Take inspiration from Julien Macdonald, whose sporty leggings and vests are the result of a scuba diving holiday in Sharm-el-Sheikh. Blumarine led the way with tie-dye prints suggesting a hippie revival with a neon twist. Details such as panelling and cut-outs seen at Gucci and Marc by Marc Jacob.s add an instant update to the Lycra minidress.

3.Going global Inspired by the cultures of Africa and the Middle East, tribal and ethnic prints featured heavily in fashion week. Colour is key here, with dots, zig-zags and animal print breaking the boundaries of classic fashion. Rodarte’s show was described as juxtaposing primitivism with futurism, even sending their warrior princesses out covered in tribal tattoos. Eye popping patterns such as geometrics and ikats guarantee you’ll stand out from the crowd, with Alexander McQueen and Peter Pilotto leading the way for digitally enhanced prints. To make the tribal look more wearable, don’t wear it head to toe, simply pick a statement piece.

5.All that glitters Spring bling is all about faded gold, more heirloom than glossy. Adding a bit of sparkle using glitter, crystals, sequins or gold is a quick fix for dull wintry days. Lanvin’s sequin encrusted lounge suit demonstrates this trend; Prada had skirts made entirely of crystals. Or show a more playful side with metallic prom dresses as seen at Giles and dinosaur bags for the young at heart. This season sparkle has a sophistication that surpasses previous glitzy trends.

Fashion at Bath Georgina Cotton Features Contributor


ednesday 17th March saw everyone who was anyone in the local fashion world conjoin under one very elegant roof to watch local companies showcase their latest Spring/Summer collections in aid of Sue Ryder Care, to make for one very trendy Bath University RAG event. It seemed only fitting that The Assembly Rooms was to host the event. The four enormous 17th Century chandeliers of the Ball Room hung above the catwalk, glistening pinks, purples and blues in the ever-changing stage lighting. The atmosphere was one of anticipation as the room filled up with well-heeled businessmen, students and locals alike. Presented by Jamie Breece, a well-known personality from both the BBC and ITV, there was never going to be a dull moment. The evening opened with Audio Bullys ft. Nancy Sinatra’s ‘Shot me Down’ on the speakers. The first collection to be shown was that of Enamore, followed by Aptus Suits, Phamous Clothing, Arshaan Gafoor, Ted Baker, Henry Hunt, Phase Eight, SW71, Republic, Amour Fou, Guess and Via Appia.Performances by Bodysoc and the break dances worked perfectly in line with the catwalk. Sue Ryder Care, for whom the whole show was put on, raised a substantial sum of money towards their care project in Malawi. The models were made up by Benefit and Artizan. For everybody else, a goody bag and a boogie and cocktails in Opa at the Aftershow party finished the night without a faux pas in sight.

Tuesday 20th April 2010


Puzzle corner - Jacques Lacan

The child, at an age when he is for a time, however short, outdone by the chimpanzee in instrumental intelligence, can nevertheless already recognize as such his own image in a mirror. This recognition is indicated in the illuminative mimicry of the Aha-Erlebnis, which Köhler sees as the expression of situational apperception, an essential stage of the act of intelligence. “This act, far from exhausting itself, as in the case of the monkey, once the image has been mastered and found empty, immediately rebounds in the case of the child in a series of gestures in which he experiences in play the relation between the movements assumed in the image and the reflected environment, and between this virtual complex and the reality it reduplicates - the child’s own body, and the persons and things, around him... For me, this activity retains the meaning I have given it up to the age of eighteen months. This meaning discloses a libidinal dynamism, which has hitherto remained problematic, as well as an ontological structure of the human world that accords with my reflections on paranoiac knowledge. “We have only to understand the mirror stage as an identification, in the full sense that analysis gives to the term: namely, the transforma-


Puzzle corner

tion that takes place in the subject when he assumes an image - whose predestination to this phase-effect is sufficiently indicated by the use, in analytic theory, of the ancient term imago. “This jubilant assumption of his specular image by the child at the infans stage, still sunk in his motor incapacity and nursling dependence, would seem to exhibit in an exemplary situation the symbolic matrix in which the I is precipitated in a primordial form, before it is objectified in the dialectic of identification with the other, and before language restores to it, in the universal, its function as subject.” Last week’s solution: congratulations to Banjo Deviance, for translating Mr Naveh’s monologue for us: “Landscape Ecology can definitely help advance the process of biological evolution: just the other day, I discovered a new species of fluorescent crab in my uranium rockpool. This is where I get all my drinking water. Radiation poisoning is one of the fallacies of reductionist medical science, and what we need is a more holistic and orgiastic approach which recognises that large, regular doses of radiation can be perfectly healthy when combined with exercise and a balanced diet.




3. 4. 6. 9. 13. 14. 15. 17. 18. 19.

1. 2. 3. 5. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 16.

Using Google (9) Dislike of foreigners (10) Ballerinas; Lap ... (gentlemen’s entertainment) (7) Type of keyboard; Roman tic composer (6) Small; mirror (7) Fast; newspaper (7) Thin sphere of liquid en closing gas (6) World wide (6) Run away (7) Explain (9)

Surround (7) Begin (9) What Alistair Campbell was famous for (4) Low (antonym) (4) Bank bailout; energy drink (9) Edit (6) Day of the month (4) Idolise (7) Rite of... (Stravinsky) (6) A doing word (4) Choose to represent (5)

XKCD We think it’s legal for us to reprint these, as XKCD publish under a Creative Commons license, though if one day we abruptly stop printing these, you can infer that we were mistaken on this point. If we abruptly stop printing bathimpact at all, you can assume this mistake cost us dearly.

Each Sudoku has a unique solution that can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits from one to nine into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit. So must every column, and every 3x3 square. This one is easy, and most arthropods can do it


Tuesday 20th April 2010



Sabbs’ Corner

Ben Cole VP Communications


ast week myself, Daniel ‘dot’ O’Toole, George Charonis and James ‘Julie’ Huelin embarked on a journey to Newcastle. We did this as your NUS Delegates elected by you to vote on NUS policy and decide who will run the NUS the next year. The students that get involved are very passionate and very, very opinionated. It was my first experience of politically-aligned student groups such as the Social Workers Party, Labour Students and Organised Inde-

if we run out of time to talk about a certain policy, it just gets ignored pendents. It was surprising to me to see how opinionated and extremely vocal seemingly subdued people could be. The conference lasted three days, starting at 12 noon on the Tuesday following on to 4pm on the Thurs-

day. The first day involved conference floor discussion and debate on policy relating to the Higher Education (HE) ‘zone’ within NUS. It will surprise many to know that HE is not the only zone of the NUS. It is split into 5 zones; as well as HE, there are Further Education (FE), Welfare, Union Development and Societies and Citizenship. All of the work that NUS does is categorised into one or two of those areas. Ok, now you have the background information I’ll continue with the day. Each ‘zone’ is given a quota limiting the amount of time which can be spent discussing it. Within each zone motions are put forward to be discussed and voted on. As a rule of thumb each motion has a speech for, one against, and a summation. Each motion can also have additions or deletions if they have been submitted, these also have speeches against and summations. If this sounds complicated, tedious and cumbersome to you, then you will understand why there are candidate training sessions on the first morning! Because there is a finite amount of time for policies to be discussed and

Susie McFarlene

What is it like to go to NUS Conference?

Showing support for the newly elected Aaron Porter and Ed Marsh certain things have to happen, such as the elections for the full-time officers, the Democratic Procedures Committee (DPC) is very strict on the timings. So much so that if we do not get to talk about a certain policy at the end of one of the zones it just gets ignored. Whilst this seems unfair, once you have experienced it, you begin to realise it’s the only way to do it.

Given the number of students there, and the diverse range of viewpoints, it is vital to keep the chaos under control and keep timings as accurate as possible. This is hindered by the fact that delegates can ask for the timings to be extended. Of course, this has to have a speech for and a speech against. The pinnacle of the first day was

the Presidential hustings. I can’t imagine how nerve-racking that must have been, fitting for the NUS National President, but nerve-racking nonetheless. Imagine the set of Who Wants to be a Millionaire?, with no space between the contestant and the audience, it was just like that. Myself and Dot sat eagerly awaiting any chance to cheer our favoured candidate, Aaron Porter, so that we could show our support. He went on to win the election with a landslide victory. The second day of conference was filled with more policy debate surrounding the other three zones, speeches from all of the candidates for the VP positions, each is responsible for one of the zones, as well as the elections for NUS Trustee and student members of the DPC. I hope this somewhat whistle-stop account of NUS Conference has provided an insight into what goes on; it was an immense, intense experience and I wish I had taken the chance to experience it earlier. NUS Delegates for next year will be elected at the start of the autumn term, I encourage you all to consider it!

The General Election is just around the corner

A quick note from VP Communications Ben Cole on why you should vote


n the 6th of May we will choose who runs the country for the next 5 years and I wanted to use this space to write down why I thought it was important to vote. I was recently tagged in a Facebook note that summed up a few of my points of view and, with permission, have included them here. Your vote, thought strictly anonymous, is an indisputable fact that no politician can deny. If you vote for candidate X, that will add one more ballot for candidate X, which is counted and added to the record, for all to see. So if candidate X received 10,000 votes, that is an indisputable fact that no politician or policymaker can ignore. On the whole, it is believed that students do not vote en masse. This means that policies that benefit us directly and/or accommodate our beliefs and values are being neglected. Why else is the higher education sector being singled out for cuts? The protesters in Tiananmen Square in 1989, and more recently the demonstrators in Tehran, were mostly students, whereas we’re just sitting back and doing nothing. To quote an obscure Star Wars character: “The moment we stop

believing in democracy is the moment we lose it.” To an extent that is true - voter apathy undermines the democratic system that has brought you personally and the country as a whole so much good, while also allowing the aforementioned extreme minority views to take precedence simply because the rest of us aren’t speaking up.

The fact is that most people in the world long for (and many are fighting for) free and fair elections of the kind we have Even if you think politics is boring, it can affect every part of your life. Want more postgraduate places? Worried about homophobic/racist undercurrents? Angry about the increase in cider duty? Concerned about a possible rise in tuition fees? If you don’t vote, your feelings about these issues will go unheard and whoever is returned to Parliament after the election will go about their agenda, unaware or uncaring about what you think. Whether you’re male or female, your ancestors struggled, fought and died for your right to vote. Be-

fore the Victorian era only an elite few could vote, with the majority consigned by birth to a lower station in life with little hope of having anything like what those at the top had. Although most countries in the world have elections, in most countries there is massive electoral fraud, voter intimidation, media manipulation and other kinds of cheating and sometimes even violence. The fact is that most people in the world long for - and many are fighting for - free and fair elections

of the kind we have. If you think things need to change, then make it happen or nothing will change! If you like things the way they are, do your utmost to keep it that way! No matter what people tell you, there is no such thing as a wasted vote. Even if only 20 people vote for Candidate Y, that is a fact that cannot be disputed. And the more votes a candidate receives, the more credible an option they seem to voters in future elections. As you can see there are many

reasons that you should vote, and that is just the opinion of one student. On that note I would like to thank Simon O’Kane for allowing me to print his viewpoint on this. I have had many conversations with people that are not happy with the ‘state the country is in’. I am sure the readers of this article have as well. More often than not, the people sitting on the other side of that conversation haven’t voted. This is not because they did not know how or because they did not know when, but because they didn’t think they could make a difference. You can. Aside from that, if you don’t use your right to vote and choose, you shouldn’t complain about the situation that we are now in. Hopefully you have already registered to vote; sadly if you have not, it is now too late. To all of you that have registered, please turn out to vote. The student voice should be something that politicians fear; they should be catering to our needs instead of ignoring us. For more information on events happening before the 6th of May, voting and a video from each of the party leaders, visit


Tuesday 20th April 2010

Science Déj� vu - the decay of a Lego house memory? Edward Johnson reminds you of something you never knew about

How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice?”; muttered the foul mouthed, generally bad-ass cop John McClane in Die Hard 2 as he yet again finds himself crawling around ventilation shafts in order to foil a terrorist plot. In this case our chain-smoking New Yorker was merely venting his anger, but this quote does ask a pertinent and deceptive question – how is it that we believe we are experiencing something that we think we have experienced before? Why do we get déjà vu? I’m sure a lot of you have experienced this phenomenon before. I know that I occasionally get flashes of déjà vu, and I’m sure you’ll agree that it is… weird. Defining déjà vu is surprisingly difficult considering it is something that a lot of us experience. It can be briefly defined as “self assurance that you have witnessed or experienced a new situation”. The “new situation” part causes some confusion – as the

It’s déjà vu all over again

Yogi Berra situation can be entirely new (such as recognising a hotel you have never seen before in a country you have never been to), or new in a more precise sense (such as noticing someone you vaguely recognise walk past you in a new shirt). It is this ambiguity in the

meaning of “new” that offers a slight hint as to what the hell is going on. Perhaps the best way to explain this phenomenon is with an example. You may be walking home at night, with a song from your iPod as you pass your local Chinese take away. A red Vauxhall Astra passes you and then turns into a quiet street. It’s then that you have a slightly unsettling feeling of intense familiarity; it’s almost as if you have been in this exact same situation before. You then feel incredibly compelled to figure out where and when you were in this situation, but you can’t. Try as you might, you’re not able to pinpoint exactly at what point

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time - I think I’ve forgotten this before

Steven Wright in your history that you witnessed this precise series of events. It’s even a little frustrating. The actual truth is, you never have experienced this exact series of events – but you have previously been in a situation very similar to this. I know that this isn’t the first time that a red Vauxhall Astra has passed me in the street, but there is no physical way that this exact situation at this point of time is exactly the same as a situation like it that occurred in the past. Variances as noticeable as a gentle breeze, or as subtle as the precise arrangement

Haven’t I seen that headline before?

Daily Express

Daily Mail

“Diana’s Driver Was “White bread inNot Drunk” creases cancer risk” Tuesday June 19,2007

20 October 2006

“‘No Evidence To Sug- “The classroom ‘cangest [Driver] Henri cer risk’ of wi-fi inPaul Was Drunk’” ternet” Thursday October 4,2007

of all the molecules in our body occur between any two situations. Perhaps the idea of entropy can help explain this phenomenon at a molecular level – the order of all the atoms in an object may never be truly the same in two situations. Of course, we cannot perceive such exceedingly minute changes in the en-

Jamais Vu Failure to recognise a familiar situation vironment. In fact the human brain is very easily fooled, and it often makes things up. Our vision is a classic example of our noggins playing tricks on us. The human visual field has a blind spot which can be deduced if you carry out the well known blind-spot test (look at a cross drawn on paper with a zero drawn further away; whilst simultaneously keeping one eye closed and moving the paper away from you it appears as if the zero has disappeared. Move further still and the zero re-appears, this time with a grey middle). Input is needed from both eyes to gain a comprehensive understanding of our surroundings. If one eye is suddenly made redundant, the brain will attempt to ‘fill in’ the detail that has suddenly been lost. It is plausible that our brains do something similar with our memories. It may be possible that the phenomenon of déjà vu is inextricably linked to memory. The brain may create a memory, but over time specific details are lost. When an individual encounters a very similar situation, what remains of that initial memory may be recalled and compared to the current situation. The brain attempts to recall those ‘lost specifics’, but cannot (as they have been forgotten). In this sense, the brain

In other news Quote of the week: according to Janet Street Porter, “Going online to chat is like taking crack”. Runner up: the Metro, talking about the new music genre ‘Donk’, which apparently “[runs] at 150bpm and feature[s] the incessant sound of a pipe being hit by a sledgehammer”, quoted Andy Capper as saying ‘To me the music sounds like hell, five hours of a non-stop fruit machine crossed with a nail factory’. Expert of the week: Professor Adam Carey, for the Mail article “Water CAN make you fat: How chemicals in drink can trigger weight gain and fertility problems”. He was previously quoted by the Mail in articles on “the dangers of sneezing” and how “Rain makes you fat”. Least informative headline of the week: The Sun, for “Cheryl Scrabble Dabble”. Appealing offer of the week: The University of Bath, for this statement: “This week’s Complexity Seminar will be given by Dr. Claudia Wulff, of the Department of Mathematics at the University of Surrey, and will be entitled “Sympletic time-semidiscretizations of semilinear Hamiltonian PDEs”. All welcome.” Pun of the week: the Mail, which ran the scoop that Paul McCartney went sailing under the headline “Scull of Kintyre”.

Headline of the week: “‘Witch doctor’ fed blind motorcyclist LSDlaced gherkins” - The Metro. Runner up: The Torygraph, for “Mafia boss wins right to visit the lavatory without being filmed”. Close third: “‘Radioactive’ paedophile suspect on the run after skipping court” – The Mail.

21 May 2007

Driver ‘Not Drunk’ “How using FaceDiana Inquest Told book could raise Wednesday December your risk of cancer” 12,2007

can be likened to the Daily Mail. In order to cover up the lack of data, the brain will insert specific details from the current situation – leading to that familiar sense of déjà vu, where a past memory seems identical to the situation you are currently in. To make this explanation somewhat less confusing, let’s relate the roles of memories in déjà vu to a toy. One day you build a simple Lego house out of multicoloured bricks, placed in a random order of colours. This house represents an intact, freshly made memory. Over time, that memory becomes more distant, and some specific details may be lost – in the case of the Lego house, segments of the house are lost. One day you see another Lego house. It looks eerily familiar. At this point your brain will recall what is left of that initial memory. By now it has lost individual bricks, or even a chimney stack. However, the brain will attempt to recreate that past memory by simply using information on what it perceives at that present moment – essentially the memory will have copied segments of the current Lego house. This would be like re-building your initial house using the new house as inspiration – copying exact segments of the house, even down to the last brick. All of a sudden you become convinced that you have seen this house before, that you have experienced this situation before! Youths are more likely to experience déjà vu than their parents. A more active mind - one that can more easily recall distant memories - apparently makes for a more lucrative “memory regeneration machine”. Maybe this is why younger people are more interested in Lego. Now would be a good time to look at cigarettemunching John McClane and tell him “John. This shit hasn’t happened to you before. Trust me. Imagine a house made of Lego…”


Clutching at straws award: The Torygraph, for their article Prince William and Kate Middleton ‘could announce engagement in June’, which began: “A blog entry by Tina Brown, the well-connected biographer of the Princess of Wales, says June 3 and 4 have been “mysteriously blocked out on the palace diaries” and could be a likely date for the long-awaited announcement of the pair’s marriage.”

19th February 2009

“Diana Driver ‘Stag- How a romantic cangered Like Drunk’” dle-lit dinner can Thursday December 20,2007 give you cancer 21st August 2009

“Diana: Police ‘Hid Drink At Death Driv- “Cancer danger of er’s Flat’” that night-time trip Tuesday February 5,2008 to the toilet” 12th April 2010

Haven’t I been here before?

Tuesday 20th April 2010



General Election 2010


Democracy’s great really, except that every now and then you will be required to actually give a toss. This often means taking a break from trying to teach a mixed salad to talk, and donating some time to the election coverage, which generally involves having to tolerate a sequence of smiling, insidious jerks all try-

ing to persuade you that under their government all houses will turn to gingerbread, and the streets will be filled with frolicking kittens and badgers that shit out solid gold Rolexes, while, voting for one of the other parties will lead to mass death of syphilis and nuclear war, and, even worse, Kilroy will be recommissioned.

In real life, though, the choices are not so simple, and, unless you plan to decide how to vote by imagining which leader would last longest in a fight with a panda, you might want to know what the parties are promising to do. Here’s what they’re promising:



Liberal Democrat

Health spending will increase every year

The first £10,000 of income will not be taxed, except for the very wealthy

The basic, higher and top rates of tax will not rise, while public sector pay will be capped at 1% per year for the next two years. There will be a new tax band of 50p applying to earnings over £150,000 and National Insurance will rise by 1p Everyone will be provided with broadband of at least 2 Megabits per second 1.5 million people on Incapacity Benefit will have their claims reassessed. Disabled people wishing to work will be given supported employment after two years. An Australian-style points system for immigration will be introduced

Public sector pay will be frozen for a year, except for the million lowest-paid workers

Trident will not be replaced

Inheritance tax threshold to be raised to £1m

Tuition fees will be phased out over six years

The claims of all incapacity benefit recipients will be reassessed

Neither ID cards nor biometric passports will be introduced

An annual cap on immigration will be set

3,000 more police will be employed

Council tax will be frozen for two years

Everyone over 16 will be eligible to vote

Constituents will be able to fire their MP

Constituents will be able to fire their MPs

A free vote will be held in the Commons on the repeal of the Hunting Act

Regional points-based system for immigration to be introduced

ID cards to be implemented


The UK will leave the EU, and won’t participate in the Common Agricultural Policy Illegal immigrants will be deported automatically, and there will be no legal immigration for five years


Minimum wage to be raised to £8.10 Trident will not be replaced £44 billion will be spent on renewable energy sources

Monster Raving Loony

All buildings will be fitted with air conditioners on the outside to combat global warming School dinners will be regularly checked for radioactivity

The UK’s prison capacity will be doubled

50% tax will apply to all income over £100,000

“All asylum seekers would be allowed to stay as long as they can tell a good joke”

The Human Rights Act will be abolished

Bankers’ bonuses will be taxed

The Channel Tunnel will be declared a no-fly zone


Tuesday 20th April 2010

Tuesday 20th April 2010

bathimpact bathimpact

David Kennaway: “What more could you want from your university experience? Camping atmosphere, free pizza, and entertainment, all in the name of charity”

Fireworks and Sleepout Each year, students raise money and awareness of the plight of the homeless by staging a sleepout on Parade. This year, spirits were high, despite the cold, and participants’ innovative cardboard fortresses were most interesting. The firework display is popular among students and Bath residents, and is always spectacular, justifying the large organisational efforts which an event of this scale demands.

Gunk a Sabb

Ben Cole, VP Comms: “RAG Week this year has come on leaps and bounds! It was amazing to be involved in something that was not only a huge amount of fun but also raised money for charities!” Scarlett VP W&D “I have never raised so much money and smelt so bad simultaneously. Definitely a once in a lifetime experience.”


David Whiting and Hanna Wade, RAG Week coordinators: “RAG Week was a week of fundraising events to support Rag’s general appeal. This year included the Bierkeller, a Silent Disco, an arts variety show and Gunk-aSabb amongst others! We raised over £3500, triple last year’s total, loads of societies and students got involved and it was amazing to be part of such a successful week for Bath RAG.”

week 2010 g a r 2 7


r u a r y - 6 f e b


m a r c h

Arts Show Auction of Promises

Chris Millard, Bierkeller Organiser: “It was an epic evening with an insane amount of beer being consumed! People attempting to balance on tables after several pitchers whilst chanting along to a band of men in tight fitting pants that cut off genitals was, I’m not going to lie, quite surreal! I had a great time and highly recommend it to freshers, hardened beer drinkers and returning Bierkeller veterans alike. It was a great start to the week! Oh, and thanks to the person that had a cheeky chunder in the corner...”

Silent Disco

Craig Loftus

Cedric Sureshkumar: “The Variety Show was a really good event, giving a great chance to see some of the great arts and music the students have to offer, whilst supporting charity. The sheer number of events was impressive, giving a chance for lots of people to get involved. It sets a really high standard for future years!”

Who we help Sam Durbin, Hayley Schofield and Hanna Wade (Firework Coordinators): “Bath RAG Family Fireworks went really well this year, despite all the rain! The display was fantastic and there was some great entertainment put on by different dance societies. With that and the funfair, and other RAGs from around the country helping us collect, we managed to raise nearly £5,000 for charity!”


Bath RAG has made £20,000 so far this year. Most of this will go to RAG’s “Big Four” beneficiaries: the RUH Forever Friends Appeal, Julian House, Sue Ryder Care and Dorothy House. This will act as a mutually beneficial relationship whereby in return for our fundraising, these charities can offer us support with our events, specific training sessions such as press and publicity, shadowing opportunities at their events and possibly even internships along with other benefits. There are even funds left over for smaller local charities so they can still benefit from our fundraising! By getting involved with Bath RAG, not only are you helping us to fundraise and having a good time but you have the potential to get a lot in return; if you want to get involved next year, go to to join the interest list.

Paris Hitch The highlight of the RAG calendar every year is the spectacular Paris Hitch. The Paris Hitch is a sponsored charity hitchhike from university campus to the Eiffel Tower. It’s the ultimate Bath student experience, a total must-do! In 2009 the Paris Hitch raised over £14,000, and this year we will be bidding bon voyage to Bath on 23rd April for French fun and frolicks galore! John Law, hitcher: “It was really exciting to do something unique for charity and have some fun myself at the same time! Hitching for RAG was something I did in Freshers year which I won’t forget!”

Raids This year we have been on 14 street collections (known in RAG as ‘raids’) for a number of different charities, including Breast Cancer Campaign, Meningitis Research Foundation and Kidscan in cities including Bath, Bristol and London raising a total of £7162.75. Raiding is a great fun way of making new friends, seeing different cities and wearing some stylish fancy dress whilst making a fantastic contribution to charity at the same time.


Tuesday 20th April 2010



Shine on you crazy international student

Why it pays to be a part of the International Student Association

Chair of ISA Hao Chen interviews Niraj Kumar, the 2010 British Council International Student Award regional runner-up

Helena Norrgren Publicity Officer


ongrats Niraj on your regional runner-up award, how do you feel

now? Thank you very much. I’m delighted to receive the ‘Shine! International Students Award 2010’ as the regional runner up for South West UK. At this occasion I would also like to thank my family back in India, and friends and peers at the University for their support during my study period. Your involvement in extracurricular activities such as community service and voluntary work are really interesting, tell us about them. I’m very passionate about the community service and social work. I strongly believe in ‘giving back to the society’ whenever I get a chance. Helping needy people and bringing smiles to their faces are very satisfactory. I have been actively involving in a number of extra-curricular activities since I joined the University in 2007. I was involved in raising funds for UK charities, and actively participated in voluntary work. I have also served as the ‘Publicity Officer’ of the Post Graduate Association (PGA) for year 2008-09 to raise key issues and concerns of postgraduate students. Recently, I

have started a charitable organisation called ‘Saumya Foundation’ to provide education to economically and socially disadvantaged children in villages in India. Last year I was also selected for ‘the Bath award’ for my active involvement in extra-curricular activities. I wish to continue working for such causes in the future.

Don’t be afraid to dream. Always be positive and work hard to fulfill your dream. How would you describe your three years here as an international student? As very fruitful and rewarding. I enjoyed living in one of the heritage cities and studying at one of the top universities in UK. The University of Bath has a significant number of international students, so it is a nice place to interact with students from different parts of the world. We would love to have some feedback from you on how to improve the International Student Association. Looking ahead, what would you expect

from the ISA? The ISA is doing an excellent job in terms of representing the international students at university. As the University of Bath is truly an international university, I see a greater responsibility for the ISA to make the international students’ lives more enjoyable and relaxing. Actively engaging students from different countries and sharing their cultural experience would certainly help them to understand others’ culture and be open to that. I am sure that your profound abroad experience will inspire lots of international students in University of Bath, what would you say to them? Don’t be afraid to dream. Always be positive and work hard to fulfill your dream. Life is full of colours, enjoy every aspect of it. What’s your plan for after graduation? I’m passionate about community service and social work. I would like to further develop my career in helping needy and disadvantageous people in undeveloped/ developing countries, especially in Asian and African continents. There are millions of people out there who seek help.

aving lived in several different countries whilst growing up, I have always been an international student and therefore have an understanding of the difficulties that this can involve. Leaving my home, Sweden, at the age of just four, I have had the opportunity to experience a wide variety of different cultures and people, moving first to Switzerland, then the USA, Thailand, and finally Germany before coming to university in Bath. Although the experiences have been invaluable, it has not always been easy to enter into an entirely new environment and culture and take the initiative to meet new people. It was for this reason that I decided to apply to become Publicity Officer of the International Student

Association, as I believe it to be an important arena for the international students at Bath to meet people in a similar position, as well as to find support regarding issues specific to them. The elections for the executive positions of 2010 – 2011 are coming up; these are Chair, Events Officer, Publicity Officer, and Equality and Diversity Officer. We would like to encourage all international students not only to nominate themselves for these positions but also to vote for their new officers, as we believe it is a worthwhile organisation that aims to benefit all the international students at Bath. Although it is a very new organisation at the University, having only been active for a year, it is also an important one; therefore, the support of all international students is vital.

Tuesday 20th April 2010


London Calling!

Marketing student Joanna Cheng from Hong Kong blogs about living in London and the wholly positive culture shock.


uring the term break, I went to London to take some dance classes as I have in the past, but I felt something special this time because I stayed in my host brother’s home instead of a hostel. I met him through my host family during the Christmas holiday. He is an actor in London. Once he knew that I would take dance classes in London frequently, he invited me to stay in his home instead so I could save some money. That’s why I took the offer this time. I felt so surprised that he and his girlfriend were so nice to me. They treated me as their friend and not just a guest. I felt much warmer at their home. I tried as much as I could not to bother them. Actually, I planned to go out from morning until evening so that they wouldn’t worry about me and so that I wouldn’t bother them. I was shocked that they gave me their spare key on days when they had to go to work early in the morning. They let me wake up whenever I wanted. In case, I was too tired, I could come back earlier than them. I could not believe they trusted me that much because we just met for a few

days in the Christmas holiday.... I really had a great time with them in the evenings too. They prepared some simple suppers with me. We chatted about many things in different areas. One night, his girlfriend needed to use the kitchen to work with her colleague during dinner time. We had to wait for the late dinner after she finished her work. She apologized to me many times....Honestly, I was totally fine with that as I could watch them work and get involved their conversation from time to time. She was just too friendly.. haha! I really liked that they were frank with me. If they were dissatisfied with something, they would just let me know. I tried my best to cooperate. It was much better than if I would need to guess their thoughts. For example, I used to shower at night but it was noisy so she asked me if I could take showers in the morning instead. I am not sure if it is related to British culture, but I really appreciate the way they treated me. Chinese people pretend to be good hosts but they don’t let the guest do whatever they want. That’s where I see the difference.





Placement student Jamie Batabyal flaunts his language skills and tells us in three different languages just how different France and Spain are. France et Francia y España: En La dos mundos difer- l’Espagne: dans des mondes différentes entes

ION F France and Spain: Worlds apart


rance and Spain appear pretty much the same to the casual observer. They both drive on the right, have better weather than us, and consider us to be uncouth, vulgar hooligans. But, having spent some time living in each of these countries this year, I’ve noticed some differences between the two. Firstly, while life in France is slightly more relaxed than England, the Spanish have three hours in the afternoon devoted to sleeping. The ‘Siesta’ is not a myth – the nation effectively shuts down between 2pm and 5pm. This is to ensure you’re still awake at dinner time. Go to a restaurant in Spain for a 7.30 sit-down, and you will probably find it closed. The earliest time you’ll eat dinner is around 9.30, which is OK because the bars and clubs don’t shut until dawn. On the subject of food, it will come as a surprise to no-one that the French take their food seriously. While the Spanish may love to eat, their traditional dishes are simple affairs, consisting of meat, ham, olive oil, and tomato. Or fish. The French though, have one dish – garlic – served in seven thousand variations, not one of them simple. My third observation is linguistic. In France, they speak French. In Spain, they speak Castilian (Spanish), Catalan, Galician, Basque, and many more official, recognised and unrecognised languages, dialects and variants. A case in point is Andalusia, where the letter ‘S’, very common in Spanish, has disappeared altogether. This makes for a confusing experience, trying to work out where in the world Ehpaña (España – Spain) might be. Those are just three of the minor, yet significant differences between France and Spain. No country is the same as another, and you don’t have to look too hard to notice and enjoy them.

rancia y España, al modo de ver del observador casual, parecen casi iguales. Conducen a la derecha, hace mejor tiempo en ambos países, y consideran los ingleses como incultos, vulgares y gamberros. No obstante, haber pasado unos meses en cada país, me da cuenta de unas diferencias entre los dos. Primeramente, aunque la vida francesa sea mas relajada que en Inglaterra, los españoles dedican tres horas cada tarde para dormir. La Siesta no es un mito – la nación esta efectivamente cerrada entre 2 y 5 por la tarde. Sin embargo, la Siesta se asegura que queda despierto por la cena. Si va a un restaurante para cenar a las 7.30, es muy probable que sea cerrado. Lo mas temprano que cenarás sería alrededor de 9.30, pero no es problema – los bares y clubes quedan abiertos hasta la aurora. Mientras que tratamos de la comida, creo que será una sorpresa por nadie que los franceses toman la comida en serio. Aunque los españoles le encantan la comida, los platos tradicionales son simples, con carne, jamón, aceite de oliva y tomate. O pescado. En Francia, solo existe un plato – el ajo – pero hay 7000 variantes, ninguna que sea simple. Mi tercera observación es lingüística. En Francia, se habla Francés. En España, se habla Castellano, Catalán, Gallego, Vasco, y varios otras lenguas, dialectos y variantes oficiales, reconocidas y no-reconocidas. Por ejemplo, hay Andalucía, donde la letra ‘S’, muy común en Castellano, ha desaparecido totalmente. Se produce una experiencia confusa cuando intenta de entender donde demonios está ‘Ehpaña’ (España). Solo son tres entre la multitud de diferencias menores sino significantes entre Francia y España. Ninguno país esta el mismo como un otro, y no se debe examinar muy fuerte para buscar y disfrutarlos.


a France et l’Espagne, pour l’observateur casuel, sont vraiment similaires. Chacun conduit a la droite, il fait meilleurs temps dans les deux, et ils considèrent que les Anglais soient des vandales grossiers et vulgaires. Mais, ayant passé du temps en chaque pays cet année, je me suis rendu compte des différences entre les deux. Premièrement, pendant que la vie français soit plus détendue que laquelle en Angleterre, les espagnoles ont 3 heures chaque après-midi réservés pour dormir La ‘Siesta’ n’est pas un mythe – le pays est effectivement fermé entre 2h et 5h après-midi Mais cela s’assure qu’on soit lucide pour diner. Si on va a un restaurant en Espagne pour manger a 7h30, c’est vraiment possible qu’il soit fermé. Le plus tôt qu’on mangera c’est environs 21h30, mais ce n’est pas un problème, parce que les bars et clubs restent ouverts jusqu’à l’aube. Au sujet de la cuisine, personne sera étonné que les français prend la cuisine sérieusement Bien que les espagnoles aiment manger, les plats traditionnelle sont simples, consistant de viande, jambon, huile d’olive et tomate. Ou poisson. Cependant, la cuisine français consiste d’un seul plat – l’ail – préparé en 7000 variétés différentes, aucun simple. Ma troisième observation est linguistique. En France, on parle Français En Espagne, on parle Castillan, Catalan, Galicien, Basque, et plusieurs langues, dialectes et variétés régionales officielles, reconnus et non-reconnus. Par exemple, il y a Andalousie, ou le lettre ‘S’ – très commun en Espagnol – est presque totalement disparu. Cela cause un expérience déroutante, quand on essaye de comprendre où diable se trouve ‘Ehpaña’ (Espagne). Donc, celles sont trois entre milliers des grands différences entre la France et l’Espagne. Aucun pays est pareil qu’un autre, et on ne doit chercher forcement pour les trouver et apprécier.

Tuesday 20th April 2010



The Good

dral Orchestra, Thurston Moore and many others) sharing a stage wasn’t enough, they’ve added a Japanese cult pysch act of myriad releases, Acid Mothers Temple, to the bill. He realises that he’s probably one of three people at Bath excited by this. Sod off.

The Bad

As in… doing good. bathimpact favourite Li’l Wayne has been keeping himself busy in prison. Reports suggest that he’s got himself a job (presumably in between recording the 1000 mixtapes he’s going to release next year if he has some spare time) helping monitor other prisoners who have exhibited suicidal behaviour. Given Wayne’s legendary self-assuredness, we’re sure he’s doing just brilliantly. Atta boy.


It’s with sadness that we report that punk icon and Sex Pistols Manager Malcolm McLaren succumbed to cancer aged 64. The self proclaimed ‘svengali’ played an instrumental role in launching punk in the UK through his work with the Pistols and others, and continued to be active up until his death, even co-producing awardwinning documentary Fast Food Nation.

week. Whilst the legendary drummer was perhaps most familiar to bathimpact readers as a collaborator with Kieran Hebden (aka Four Tet), his impressive recording history includes Miles Davis, Ornette Coleman, Fela Kuti, James Brown and Sun Ra. Which is testament to his talent and his diversity. Rest in peace Steve. Soul singer Erykah Badu has found herself charged with disorderly conduct following the filming of her

Unfortunately, the doom and gloom doesn’t end there. bathimpact is also sad to report that jazz percussionist Steve Reid passed away last

being ‘shot’, naked, in the same place that John F Kennedy was killed. Police had appealed for witnesses to in order to charge her following publication of the video, and subsequently stamped a $500 fine on her. The video remains available on her website: www. erykahbadu. com

& The Ugly

New lows for Marky Ramone. The former Ramones drummer has never seemed particularly bothered about his legacy, but he’s now decided to trample all over it by marketing his own brand of pasta sauce. Words can’t really do the promotional video justice, so head over to tinyurl. com/ramonepasta to watch it and weep a little bit. (It appears to have been filmed in his local MFI).

Erykah Badu: No such thing as a bad hair day

Our Ents Editor practically exploded when he heard this latest piece of news: nu-pysch supergroup Rangda have announced a series of dates for a UK tour this May, including a date at Bristol’s The Croft on the 28th. As if having Ben Chasny (Comets on Fire, Six Organs of Admittance), Sir Richard Bishop (Sun City Girls) and Chris Corsano (Bjork, Vibracathe-

latest video for new single ‘Window Seat’ off her rather incredible albumof-the-year-worthy longplayer The New Amerykah Pt II: Return of the Ankh. The video, which was filmed ‘guerilla style’ in one long take, involved the hip-hop icon walking through Dallas, removing items of clothing as she went ending with her,

Party starter and avant-garde musician Andrew WK, most famous for writing trash metal party anthem

‘Party Hard’, has revealed the lyrics to a song which saw him served with a restraining order by the girl he wrote it for. Written aged 17, the song includes the lyrics “Harm - That’s What You’re In For, If You Don’t Open Your Door”. Aww, young love. Hear it here tinyurl. com/andrewwklove

Andrew WK: Binge eating his way out of love If we’d known about this earlier you might have had a review of it, but we’re still enthralled to make the frankly ridiculous announcement that Fatboy Slim and former Talking Heads frontman David Byrne have collaborated to make a concept album based around the life of Imelda Marcos, the famously corrupt wife of Filipino President Marcos. Entitled ‘Here Lies Love’, and featuring a wealth of vocal talent including Florence Welch, it apparently makes no mention of the 3,000 pairs of shoes found when mobs ransacked the Presidential Mansion in 1986. We need a lie down.

Mo’ money, mo’ problems Jen Wallace finds little romance in the story of man’s love affair with greed, as told by Michael Moore Film: Capitalism: A Love Story Director: Michael Moore Starring: Michael Moore


t’s not often you sit in the cinema and witness the audience shout at the screen in disgust or approval, neither do people frequently stand up and clap as the final credits roll. And yet at 10.30am on a sunny March morning I sat through Capitalism: A Love Story and witnessed exactly this. Sure, due to the time of day the average age of the audience was probably seventy, but I couldn’t help but be moved by the spontaneous reactions of the cinema goers, and feel that this is what cinema and film-making is about. For the first time I actually saw Michael Moore as a hero. A pretty strong statement, and fairly gushing, but I hadn’t previously felt like his about his other films. He’d always annoyed me with his ridiculous cap, bad dress sense, and annoying habit for gimmicks such as cold-calling company executives and feigning shock and hurt when they hung up on him. But in this film he comes across as a man

who is trying to get a grip on what has happened to the American economy, and shedding light on underhand (and frankly disgusting) dealings that have led to the misery and poverty of millions of Americans. If cinema can investigate crimes, expose corruption and demand answers, then cinema is reaching its full potential in terms of its powers of persuasion. What’s also so refreshing to see is that he doesn’t resort to simple doom and gloom statements about the dreadful situation of the American economy. He actually goes out and finds alternatives to prove that there is hope, and that there are people who are willing to work hard to maintain justice in the workplace. His use of intertwining individual stories within

For the first time Michael Moore feels like a hero: his ridiculous cap and dress sense are irritating no more the narrative provide a juxtaposition to his exposure of top level corruption; at the same time as he’s pointing

If capitalism really is a love story, then this must be the short bondage interlude. the finger at certain individuals, he is also offering positive alternatives that have had great results. He wants change, but he’s not just pontificating about it, he’s looking for practical solutions to welcome it into America. I’m not an economics student, I don’t read the Financial Times, and I knew there’d been a mortgage crisis in America, but I didn’t bother to try and understand the finer details. Moore knows this, and he knows most cinema-goers are in a similar situation, so he sets it out plainly and logically

for everyone to understand. He realises ones of the reasons people have gotten away with exploitation for so long is because they assume the average person can’t fight what they don’t comprehend, so he’s offering people the power of knowledge. The film does ruthlessly tug at the emotional heartstrings (once you’ve watched it you won’t be able to get the term dead peasants out your head, and you’ll never want to get on a plane again), and it is blatant audience manipulation, but when the message is

so important and so pertinent, it’s justified manipulation. If one young final year student goes to see it, and decides that they won’t go and apply for a graduate job at Goldman Sachs after witnessing the atrocities that they committed, then Moore has done exactly what he set out to do. And I won’t be handing in my CV to any major banking organisation this summer, that’s for sure. Capitalism: A Love Story is out now.


Tuesday 20th April 2010



Geeks in the night

Hot Chip might not be as ready for the floor as they once were, but the new material from these pop-savvy alley-cats is definitely coming on strong, writes Philip Bloomfield Artist: Hot Chip, Casiokids Venue: O2 Academy, Bristol Date: 23rd February


uccess can do funny things to a band. Look no further than Hot Chip for an example of this: following the dementedly simple white-boy Casio funk of ‘Over and Over’, five geeks from Putney suddenly found themselves catapulted to levels of indie stardom they’d merely dreamed of on first longplayer, Coming On Strong (sample lyric: Driving in my Peugeot, 20 inch rims with the chrome now hey-ay, yay-ay Blazin’ out Yo La Tengo). And what still strikes me, even as I watch the fivepiece thump through the aforementioned track with glorious abandon at the O2 Academy, is that they’ve never really come to terms with their success. Except for keyboardist Al Doyle; who looks like he’s fallen

straight off the set of ‘Mad Men’ tonight as he swaggers and sways in his fitted suit, the band still resembles the bunch of misfits who wrote about cruising to Yo La Tengo. They’re a pop band in the purest sense of the word, but where pop is now more about image than

Keyboardist Al Doyle looks like he’s fallen off the set of ‘Mad Men’ rock and roll ever was, they remain defiantly uninterested in anything but the music. And as Sean Lightbown most ably illustrated during his review of latest LP One Life Stand, Hot Chip’s music of recent has shown itself to be increasingly subtle, clever and all the more enjoyable. Try telling that to tonight’s crowd, however. It’s a young mob, and they don’t care whether Alexis,

All By Himself

Alec McLaurin gives the Sigur Ros man Jonsi’s solo project the green light

in for colour. Finally hearing his lyrics in English (Bar one track, Sigur Ros only sang in Icelandic or in their own made-up language) is probably not what Icelandic Sigur Ros fans were looking forward to

hearing on this album, but its qualities go much deeper than that. Single “Go Do” and again on “Animal Arithmetic” and “Boy lilikoi”, Jónsi’s urgent falsetto, sung in broken English, creates the backbone of the album, but with more subdued songs such as “Tornado” and “Kolniður” the beautifully constructed piano and string arrangements, present in the background of each song, really come through. Go should not be seen as a flirtation with a new musical genre by Jónsi, more an expansion on his individual aspirations for an album. A lot freer to play around with new ideas and being accountable only to himself, Go finds success where many solo projects have failed, keeping elements of the old whilst expanding with the new. Go is out now on Parlophone

be found. Even on new single ‘One Night Stand’ which struts and slinks most admirably live, there’s a noticeable shift towards a softer sound, more reminiscent of the first album (from which we don’t receive a single track tonight, bizarrely). Joe Goddard’s plaintive and distant baritone adding a touch of melancholy to Alexis Taylor’s breathy falsetto (“Tell me do you stand by your man”) that’s almost out of sync with the live steel drums and throbbing synth

Melancholy doesn’t sell out academies, and Hot Chip still know their way around a pop song through of ‘Hold On’ that precedes the encore is a matter for individual opinion, but one thing is certain: Hot Chip know their way around a pop song like few others. We can only hope that next time round, there’ll be as many cheers for ‘Alley Cats’ as ‘Over and Over’.

Under New Management

Alex Drake isn’t exactly sure whether or not to Congratulate a certain Brooklyn duo for their undoubtedly difficult second album



This is a distinctly more playful record than anything released by Sigur Ros

Joe and co. have been listening to Curtis Mayfield or This Heat, as long as the dancefloor is suitably flattened with electro-crossover hits. And maybe that’s why it’s a slow start: the classy motown groove of ‘Hand Me Down Your Love’ and the wobbling space-funk of ‘Thieves In The Night’ are meticulously reproduced, but they don’t have the crushing impact of the blockbeats that dominated tracks like ‘Shake A Fist’. In fact, there’s little in the way of giant hooks to

Artist: MGMT Album: Congratulations

Artist: Jonsi Album: Go

fter the first couple tracks of Go, its obvious that this is not going to be a Sigur Ros-style album under their lead singer’s moniker. On an indefinite hiatus whilst the other members are on paternal duties, Jónsi has had time to explore different musical paths, first with his minimalist/ ambient record with Alex Somers, Riceboy Sleeps, and now with his first solo album, Go. Distinctly playful, gone are the brooding crescendos and ethereal restraint trademarked by Sigur Ros, in their stead is a more urgent tempo, relying on Jónsi’s biggest asset, his voice. Although Jónsi’s singing has always been inextricably tied to Sigur Ros and to their success, on Go Jónsi feels a lot freer, switching easily between English and Icelandic, with the odd bird tweets added

Hand Me Down Your Clothes: We like Alexis Taylor’s voice, but we’re not sure about his dress sense

work provided by the band. And as the mumbling electronica of ‘Alley Cats’ strays close to classic R’n’b territory, it’s clear that this a band who’ve rediscovered the melancholy that dominated their earlier material. And as much as it’s delightful to hear a band so au fait with music broadly removed from the popular spectrum, melancholy doesn’t sell out Academy sized venues. It’s no surprise, therefore, that the biggest cheer of the night is reserved for set closer ‘Ready for the Floor’, which is clearly what the crowd have been baying for. Whether or not it’s better than a supremely funky run

hat’s the best way to follow up one of the most acclaimed and loved albums of 2008? Well, if you are Brooklyn psych-rockers MGMT, the natural move would be to release a left-field, uncommercial and outright weird record. And that’s exactly what Ben Goldwasser and Andrew VanWyngarden of MGMT have done with Congratulations. The truth is that it’s anything but easy to reproduce the formula of a successful debut album and instead of trying and failing, the band have dropped the hippy-go-lucky persona and take us on a deep and dazed voyage into 1960s psyche-rock. In contrast to the first album, Oracular Spectacular, which was full of effortlessly catchy tunes that had you humming for days on end, they haven’t tried to write any radio hits this time

A deep and dazed voyage into pyschedelia and the 80s underground round. Instead they have taken refuge in trippy song writing inspired by their disillusioning celebrity stopover. This is all very ironic considering they lamented how they were “fated to pretend” to be famous rock stars on their

debut, only to have their songs explode and unintentionally turn them into pop icons. Prior to release, they controversially stated that they didn’t want to release any “singles” from the album. The reasoning behind this was so listeners could consume the album as a whole but many skeptics claimed it merely reflected their lack of ambition. After having listened to the record, I must admit that it’s a combination of factors and even though the album is a tad disappointing it’s not all bad.

12 minute tracks and songs about ecstacy means this one might not appeal to the ‘Kids’ According to the band, most inspiration came from 1960s psychedelia and 1980s underground rock, which has led to a more unpredictable and frenetic sound. All becomes apparent on Congratulations’ opening song, ‘It’s Working’, where the slowly building psych-pop dominates a track about ecstasy overdose. The album’s epic centerpiece is a twelve minute monster of a track called ‘Siberian Breaks’ that constantly changes shape without warning. It’s eight different songs strung together to form a mix of shimmering synths, neon electronica and ambient pop. If anything, it’s the

MGMT: Not averse to a little horseplay anti-‘Kids’! The highlight on the album, though, is actually the closing number, ‘Congratulations’, which is a smooth and charming ballad reminiscent of The Kinks’ ‘Waterloo Sunset’. I came away with the impression that MGMT have tried to make a statement album to distance themselves from their fame and mainstream image. This certainly isn’t what their fans wanted to hear and it’s clear that they’re not aiming to entertain anyone but themselves. They took a step into the unknown and, whilst it’s not a complete failure, they certainly slipped up. So if you’re feeling brave, you might find the journey interesting, but just don’t get lost along the way. Congratulations is out now on Columbia Records

Tuesday 20th April 2010



Entertainments Festival Guide Part 1: Festivals on a shoestring Gig Listings

Philip Bloomfield and Alec McLaurin are fed up of paying £180 to sit in a muddy field surrounded by the cast of Lord of the Flies, and paying £5 for flat beer and what might have once been a burger. So here are six of their recommendations that will stretch your enjoyment rather than your budget 2000 Trees: 16th+17th July, near Cheltenham, £50 Started three years ago as an alternative to the spiralling ticket prices of mainstream festivals, 2000 Trees has gone from strength to strength. Year after year putting together strong line-ups for the true music lover, this intimate festival sees Metronomy, 65daysofstatic, Bombay Bicycle Club, Twin Atlantic and Frank Turner grace its stages. AL

Field Day: 31st July, Victoria Park, £33 Not really a festival as such, but the lineup this year is so damn special that this all-dayer in London’s Victoria Park merits at least a mention. Previous issues over volume have dogged the site in central London, but Mogwai’s thunderous headlining set last year suggests these have been resolved. The impressive indie, electronic and experimental roster includes: Phoenix, Caribou, Hudson Mohawke, Atlas Sound, Silver Apples, Dam-Funk, No Age, Pantha Du Prince, Flower-Corsano Duo and many more. PB

Dot to Dot: Friday 29th - 30th May, Various Venues in Bristol, £30 Awkwardly placed on the Friday before the last week of exams, this event may be undoable for some of you. However if you finish exams by then, what better way to celebrate? It features more than 40 acts in various venues across Bristol, which (probably) will allow you to end the night in your own bed! Bands playing: Mystery Jets, Field Music, Zane Lowe, Ellie Goulding, Liars and many more. AL

Supersonic: 22nd – 24th October, Various Venues, Birmingham, £75 Noise lovers, rejoice. The lovely ladies of Capsule return to organise yet another bloodthirsty weekender smack in the middle of Birmingham. Only one band has been announced thus far: mighty noiserockers Swans, who will play their first British show since they disbanded in 1997. Alongside the brutal soul-baring of Michael Gira & co., expect a series of all things loud, heavy, experimental, avantgarde and generally absent from the regular festival circuit. Previous lineups featured loud luminaries including Battles, Goblin and Harvey Milk. PB

TRUCK: 23rd-25th July, Oxfordshire, £80 Not a festival about trucks, named Truck for the trailer that used to be its main stage, Truck festival has developed a strong reputation for putting on bands that are just on the point of stardom. Last year I saw The XX, Wild Beasts and Two Door Cinema Cub all play to small crowds. This, added to an awesome atmosphere with local ales and food, makes it an event not to miss. Danish rockers Mew have been announced as Saturday headliners, plus Future of the Left, Los Campesinos, Stornoway and Esben and the Witch. AL Keep your eyes peeled for our next issue, when our expert team at bathimpact will be bringing you the very best in big festivals, from Oya in Norway, through to Latitude in the UK

Oops! Britney’s done it again: She’s killed live music David James responds to Laura Craine’s article from our last issue. ‘Live’ music has sold out to the lipsyncers, the ticket sellers and the 40 year old emos, he argues.


an you believe the cheek of it!? ‘Tik Tok’ star Ke$ha has, this week, attacked pop princess Britney Spears for not singing live in concerts, claiming she treats her fans, “ like they are stupid.” Whilst some of you may be gob smacked at how Ke$ha, another irritating celeb who brushes her teeth with Jack Daniels and has the annoying urge to mi$$pell words, can possibly insult pop royalty, she does make an interesting point - just how genuine is live music? In bathimpact’s last edition, my fellow contributor Laura Craine argued that live concerts, “reflect the passion an artist tries to instil in an audience”. This may be true when U2 perform live on the rooftop of the BBC’s Broadcasting House, but what about watching Britney at last year’s MTV awards, drawing ridicule by dressing as a stripper and failing to even lip-sync her notsuch-a-big-hit single ‘Gimme More’? Surely the only emotions that would stir are pain and embarrassment (unless you were Justin Timberlake

sitting in the audience, in which case it would just procure an innate smugness). However it’s not just Britney that mimes songs on tour. Recent offenders include Take That, Ashlee Simpson and even Madonna, who managed to incur the wrath of Elton John when he publicly announced, “Anyone who lip-syncs on stage, when you pay £75 to see them, should be shot”. So when you are next watching a concert or listening to a music artist

Anyone who lip-syncs on stage, when you pay £75 to see them, should be shot.

Elton John live on stage, ask yourself, ‘is what I’m actually hearing, live?’


Laura Marling @ Colston Hall, Bristol Fuck Buttons @ Trinity Centre, Bristol Nerina Pallot@ Komedia, Bath


Rufus Wainwright @ Colston Hall, Bristol Mark Lanegan @ Academy 2, Bristol The Strange Boys @ The Louisiana, Bristol


The Whale Watching Tour @ Arnolfini, Bristol


Efterklang @ Metropolis, Bristol Shy Child @ Thekla, Bristol


Lostprophets @ 02 Academy Hypnotic Brass Ensemble & The Souljazz Orchestra @ Thekla, Bristol


Hudson Mohawke @ Thekla, Bristol Chew Lips @ The Cooler, Bristol Alphabeat @ Fleece, Bristol


Groove Armada @ Moles


LCD Soundsystem @O2 Academy Bristol


The Bronx, Mariachi El Bronx @ Thekla, Bristol


Surfer Blood @ Thekla, Bristol


Biffy Clyro @ Colston Hall, Bristol Best Coast@ Louisiana Everything Everything, Darwin Deez & Hurts @ Thekla, Bristol


CocoRosie @ Trinity Centre, Bristol


Mr Hudson @ Anson Rooms, Bristol


65daysofstatic @ Trinity Centre, Bristol Foals @ Ansom Rooms, Bristol


La Roux & I Blame Coco @ 02 Academy, Bristol Futureheads @ Thekla, Bristol

Spot the difference: Ke$ha and a 40 year old emo. Moreover, why pay an extortionate amount of money to attend a live concert when the recorded radio version is available free online? Whilst people may argue that music festivals like Glastonbury and Reading are once in a lifetime opportunities and are fully worth the £185 price tag, I would ask, what are you actually buying? The chance to film Jay-Z on your mobile phone from about ninety kilometres away so that you can post it on You Tube? The opportunity to watch tepid indie bands with drunken 40-year old

emos wearing Killers t-shirts, Croc shoes and black guy-liner who just won’t stop the continued rock n’ roll head banging? The fun of not washing for 3 days so that when you return to civilisation you smell like rancid meat crossed with Pot Noodle? Yet others can lie in their beds, relax in their armchairs or sit in their nicely heated cars, turn on the radio and listen to a perfectly edited, perfectly refined and perfectly recorded track without the sweat of 50,000 concertgoers dripping down their backs.

Tuesday 20th April 2010


Arts Ann’s Column


k so… there are just SEVEN (yes that’s right se-ve-n) weeks to go until all those exams are out of the way and we have the Summer Ball and then all that summer fun in the sun to look forward to. For me it is the final slog to freedom and I can’t wait to be free of exams and reports and all that. Alas, we still have loads of exciting events before then; the ICIA Arts and Media Awards occurred last night, then the Arts Extravaganza Friday 30th April 12 noon – 9 pm by the lake! Then in that final week of lectures we have BUSMS presenting ENCORE (Monday 3rd May), as well as the Activities Awards (Thursday 6th May)! The Arts Extravaganza is a free and informal series of performances mixed in with some light music and good banter. This year SCA (Student Community Action) will be selling cake and raising money for their trip to Romania to help in some of the orphanages out there this summer. BUFS (Bath University Film Society) have a special movie treat in store for us in the evening (starting at around 6pm)…all will be revealed closer to the time. URB will be taking a trip back through the arts events of this past year and providing the comperes for the afternoon. Performances so far include BUSMS with previews of the hits from ENCORE, Bodysoc, Breakdancers and Gravity Vomit! There will also be a BBQ and lots of sun (well..hopefully). 6 WS is our “Wet Weather Alternative” so make sure you come along and join in the fun, bring your own rug and all your friends. Tickets for the Activities Awards will be on sale soon….so make sure you grab yours before they all sell out. This is a very prestigious annual event that takes place in the Bath Pump Rooms. There are three “Arts Awards” up for grabs; Best Arts Society, Best Event/Performance and Most Outstanding Contribution to the Arts, so come along and find out which societies will be this year’s winners. Bodysoc had several very successful “Nights at the Movies” this last week, with four performances Thursday 15th – Saturday 17th April with great audiences and fabulous audio visual effects courtesy of Freddy and Ian from Backstage! Best of luck with the revision (or the attempted revision); see you at the Extravaganza if not before. Ann x

Choreography 101 Ana Rosemin gives a crash course


couple of months ago Ann approached me and suggested I write a piece on “choreography”. She said she didn’t understand how the hell it was done. So to put Ann’s bemused mind at peace as well as all you little curious dance aficionados, I have come up with a bunch of things to consider next time you want to create your own routine.

If you manage to tell a story in your routine, you’ve nailed it. First of all you’ve got to pick a song, the more you like the music the more it will inspire you, but avoid picking your favourite tune as you will probably end up hating it once the dance is finished. Make sure you write down everything you


choreograph because, unless you are an elephant, you are likely to forget one or two tiny details. Sorting out the different counts of eight in the song and listening out for the hidden beats should really help set the tempo and get started with some steps. The hardest part of choreographing is getting the inspiration to come up with some great steps. A very effective and old school trick is to use the lyrics as your inspiration. I mean if even JLS can pull it off (cf “Beat again” music video) it’s got to be good! But my favourite technique is the one I learnt for the Jonathan Lunn dance show. Get a text, could be anything from your local pub’s menu to a little bit of Shakespeare, and use the words and punctuation to choreograph your piece. Why not make it even wackier and pretend, when you are coming up with the “moves”, to be a butterfly, a surgeon or whatever tickles your fancy? This

My time with BUSMS Matthew Mellor enlightens us


fter five months of rehearsing, with multiple 12 hour sessions, and many a sleepless night spent with the entire soundtrack playing on loop in everyone’s mind, BUSMS performed ‘Footloose’ to sell-out audiences between 17th and 20th March. Featuring many well-known songs such as Holding Out for a Hero and Let’s Hear it for the Boy, as well as the title track, the show was a huge success. I’m Matt, a first year Computer Science student, and the only society I came to university with the intention of joining was the Bath University Student Musicals Society, BUSMS! Shortly after I arrived and after the completion of various workshops, the auditions for Footloose were held. As soon as the cast list was released, the rehearsals began. The professionalism and talent that lay within the society was evident. From the principals to the chorus, everyone worked hard to produce a high quality show and we became like a close family. I played the part of Lyle, who made up half of the show’s comedy duo with Travis, played by Harry Graham. I was also Cowboy Billy Bob, a bar singer. Both of these parts were incredibly enjoyable to play and ensured I was always busy, with seven costume changes throughout the show and the need to take part in almost every chorus number. I found this a new experience because way you’ll move away from the “pas de bourrée” and make your dance really unique. Although personally I feel that, whatever you do, if you manage to tell a story in your routine, you’ve nailed it. And if you want to see some great choreographing, don’t miss the Bodysoc dance show “A Night at the Movies” from Thursday to Saturday this week in the ALT.

Leonard Cohen: awesome music, but not easy to dance to

my previous theatrical roles have required me to wear one or two costumes, not seven, including a cowboy outfit, army uniform and tux! The show ended with a bang! After four nights of energy, enthusiasm and lots of dancing, we all gathered in the Arts Barn to celebrate an in-

Everyone worked hard to produce a high quality show and we became like a close family. credible musical extravaganza! A dose of Domino’s Pizza and some celebratory drinks later we gave some well earned gifts to some well deserving people, namely our musical director ‘Mr Tom Lees’, assistant director/part time choreographer Adam McDonnell and director/cho-

reographer Chloe Guariglia who all worked tirelessly to produce the fantastic performances. I mustn’t forget to mention the huge amount of help we received from Backstage Technical Services, who built the set, organised the sound effects and microphones and controlled the lighting on the show nights. And so, as one show ends another must begin. For one night only, BUSMS presents Encore, a cabarettype show consisting of 23 songs from as many musicals ranging from High School Musical to Cabaret, The Lion King to Dreamgirls, School of Rock to Glee! This show is rehearsed under the watchful eyes of six directors, each taking control of four songs, with four musical directors taking care of the music. It’s sure to be a spectacular show and we will all be working hard to make sure that it is one to remember! We hope to see you all there on May Day bank holiday, Monday 3rd May at 7.30pm in the Arts Lecture Theatre. Tickets are on sale at the ICIA; £7 tickets, £5 for students and concessions. See you there!

Tuesday 20th April 2010






Marina and the Diamonds – I Am Not A Robot Released – 26th April

Marina and the Diamonds follow up their immensely successful ‘Hollywood’ with this lovely, summery track ‘I Am Not A Robot’. This could fast become a summer revision anthem. Picture yourself with a jug of Pimms in one hand, a door-stop of a textbook in the other, down by the lake, listening to this vocally flawless and chilled track. Lovely!



The chart is URB’s chance to play all those tracks that have been a favourite for our presenters and listeners in the past week. It is compiled using the amount of airplay and number of votes via the Soundtrack selector. This does not stop there; our chart then gets sent on so that a national student radio chart can be compiled, allowing the music industry to see what we’re playing.


Arts & Media awards The Arts and Media awards on Monday 19th April was the most recent event for which we provided our services. Alongside a live projection of events, we also created a short film showing the highlights of the year for all three media societies. At the time of writing, we don’t yet know the results, but we all have our fingers crossed for recognition of the work we have done this year.

Over Easter, we put together highlights from this year’s excellent RAG Week. There was so much good stuff that we had to split it into two videos! Make sure you check it out to see highlights from Bierkeller, Mega Quiz, Speed Dating, Silent Disco, Arts Variety Show, and Gunka-Sabb. We also have the full version of the Sabbs’ take on ‘The Evolution of Dance’. With several projects waiting to be edited, we are as busy as ever, with many more events coming up over the next few weeks. We also hope to be able to unveil a short sitcom series, currently being edited, and a particularly odd idea is currently being discussed (though being kept under wraps for now!) Tune in to our YouTube channel (http://www. over the next couple of weeks to find out more!

1 Ellie Goulding Starry Eyed 2 Mumford and Sons The Cave 3 Vampire Weekend Giving Up The Gun 4 Daisy Dares You feat. Chip- munk Number One Enemy 5 The Futureheads Heartbeat Song 6 Dizzee and Florence Dirtee Love 7 Florence and the Machine You Got The Love 8 Rihanna Rudeboy 9 Chiddy Bang Opposite of Adults 10 3OH!3 Starstrukk

Media AGM On Thursday 22nd April, 13:15, in 2E3.1., the Media group will be having its Annual General Meeting. During this, we will discuss general media stuff, and the results of the Media groups’ elections will be announced, and by-elections will be held for unfilled positions. These include:

11 Biffy Clyro Manhy Of Horror 12 Gorrilaz Stylo 13 Owl City Fireflies 14 Example Won’t Go Quietly 15 Lady Gaga Telephone 16 Temper Trap Sweet Disposition 17 Delphic Halcyon 18 Ke$ha Blah Blah Blah 19 Owl City Hello Seattle 20 Arctic Monkeys My Propeller

Those intending to run should attend the meeting, or email a manifesto to by Wednesday 21st April 5pm. Media officer Cedric Sureshkumar said “This is your opportunity to raise any questions you have

FEATURED SHOW OF THE WEEK You, Me & A Little Bit Of Symphony With Cedric and Laura Sundays 18:00-19:00

Join Cedric and Laura every Sunday evening for a classical journey from country to country and everything from Mozart to Beethoven! We play most classical requests, but can’t promise to play anything by Wagner in its entirety, because I’ll be leaving in the summer.

about the way media operates, and any thoughts and ideas you may have to help media develop into the next academic year.” The AGM will be followed by a cross-media social, with the theme as yet undecided.

URB: Chief Engineer, Head of Online, Head of Advertising and Marketing CTV: Secretary, Sports Officer, Societies Officer, Head of Advertising and Marketing, Head of Online BathImpact Committee: Secretary, Chief Sub-Editor, IT Officer BathImpact Editorial: News Editor, Science Editor, Sports Editor

Media boss Ced Sureshkumar invites you to the Media AGM, where we will finally reveal the truth about Shergar.

Tuesday 20th April 2010




Theatre & Comedy 20/04 – 01/05

The Tempest @ Tobacco Factory Theatre, Bristol

21/04 – 01/05

What Would Judas Do? (written by Stewart Lee) & My Arm (written by Tim Crouch) @ Ustinov Theatre, Bath

21/04 – 24/04

Ring Around The Moon (Jean Anouilh) @ The Rondo Theatre, Bath

26/04 – 01/05

Stop Messing About: A Kenneth Williams Extravaganza @Theatre Royal, Bath


Eric’s Tales of the Sea @ The Rondo Theatre, Bath

30/04 – 01/05

Never Any Fruit @ The Rondo Theatre, Bath


Sean Lock in Lockipedia @Theatre Royal, Bath


Bath University Student Musicals Society – Encore @ ICIA Arts Theatre

04/05 – 08/05

The Pirates of Penzance @Theatre Royal, Bath

Film Listings 20/04 – 22/04

The Ghost @ Little Theatre Cinema, Bath I Am Love @ Little Theatre Cinema, Bath

22/04 & 25/04

National Theatre Live – The Habit of Art @Little Theatre Cinema, Bath


An Evening with Beethoven @ Little Theatre Cinema, Bath

Our Film Pick - Erasing David @ Little Theatre 29th April. This award-winning British documentary follows the story of David, who hires two private investigators to track him down, revealing dangerous truthes about today’s surveillance society in the process. A must-see.

A Comedy of Errors

Bath University Student Theatre’ s latest production is an adaption of George Bernard Shaw’s play. bathimpact’s very own Theatre Cat is on hand to report. Play: You Never Can Tell Director: Katie Colthurst Venue: Museum of Bath at Work


t’s always interesting to see one of the less frequently performed plays of a playwright whose 21st Century reputation is based on a small number of works which seem to have stood the test of time. Have the others fallen out of favour for good reason, or are they lost gems deserving a wider audience? BUST chose to revive ‘You Never Can Tell’, a play which explores coincidence through the story of the Clandon family. Mrs Clandon - a ‘thoroughly modern’ mother - has returned to England after some years in Madeira with her three children, who find the conventions of life in an English seaside resort strange. A chance encounter with a dentist - and you can tell the age of this play by the dentist’s being impoverished! - leads to uncomfortable lunch when it becomes clear that the dentist’s landlord is also the father of the family. By a further twist of fate the son of the hotel’s waitress is the very lawyer

brought in to resolve the resulting family disputes! This is Shaw at his lightest, touching on a range of serious issues from feminism to the role of the Church, but not taking the issues seriously. We laugh at what Shaw has to say but perhaps more at the preposterous fabrication of the plot. BUST made the most of the humour with a well-paced and lively production. The intimate setting brought audience and actors into close proximity and worked well for the opening scene in the dentist’s

You Never Can Tell is a well-paced, lively and humorous production surgery. Suzanne Ipe and Putu Agus Khorisanfono were gloriously non-identical twins, their antics and joie-de-vivre lit up the play at their every entrance and one readily believed that Dolly would indeed invite her dentist to lunch! Staging a luncheon party for seven

Pink and Fluffy

is a big ask for any director but Katie Colthurst was equal to the task. Despite a considerable amount of ‘business’ the words were never lost and what could have been a very static scene kept our attention. Eleni Angeloussi as Bess, the waitress, maintained a wry but respectful attitude to the shenanigans over lunch as Tara Marth, a sweetly confused Gloria, fell under the spell of Laurence Whitaker’s Valentine - adept at extracting the humour from his role but also revealing himself to be the joke. Gloria’s bewildered response to encountering both her father and a possible lover was beautifully played out as she challenged her mother’s ‘modern attitudes.’ Sarah Aston as Mrs Clandon had perhaps the hardest task as Shaw has not fully imbued her role with the depth it initially

promises. It would have been good to have heard and seen more of the promised fancy dress party in the hotel as the Clandons and their father, a man perhaps as much sinned against as sinning, attempt to resolve their differences with the aid of the family solicitor, Finch Mc Comas, played by Pallavi Panihar, and the lawyer she recommends, Walter Bohun, flamboyantly played by Andrew Brown. Walter’s catchphrase, ‘You think you will, but you won’t’ predicts further fireworks for the young lovers and a very different experience of parenting for the twins! The play held its audience rapt in a charming fin de siècle but essentially period piece. It couldn’t happen now, or could it? You never can tell!

Georgina Cotton travels to the capital to appreciate Legally Blonde’s stage adaption in all its girliness Play: Legally Blonde The Musical Starring: Sheridan Smith Venue: Savoy Theatre, London


hmygod, like this was so totally not what I was expecting. Having seen (and loved) the film, I was dubious as to what extent the stage would be able to justify the pink, girly, sparkly, Americanaccented, (did I mention pink?) fluff that is the film. I was also a little concerned for my dad, who, sat between his three daughters and wife was not looking most enthusiastic at the prospect of the next 2 or so hours of girly drivel. But oh how wrong we could be. Elle Woods is my idol. And not just because she seduced Warner and Emmett, and has her Chihuahua, Bruiser, trained to jump into her handbag, but because she is so unashamedly girly that she can win lawsuits through her understanding of perm technology and her trusty gaydar. Now that’s something to be proud of. For those of you not quite in touch with the whole Legally Blonde concept, Elle Woods is a blonde bimbo from Malibu, with a degree in Fashion Merchandise from UCLA. Her boyfriend Warner, who she is convinced will propose, dumps her over

a romantic dinner for not being ‘serious’ enough. He is off to Harvard law school and needs a girlfriend of a similar intellectual level. The plot follows Elle’s plight to prove her ‘seriousness’ by being accepted to Harvard law school (albeit through the use of her cheerleading squad) in order to win Warner back. Sheridan Smith, who plays Elle Woods, couldn’t be further from the role of Rudi for whom she is best known in Gavin and Stacey. Consider-

She is so unashamedly girly that she can win lawsuits through her understanding of perm technology ably more likeable than her film counterpart, Reese Witherspoon, she has amazing comic timing, great warmth and moments of intense vulnerability about her, especially when she bags the real man of her dreams, Emmett, the scruffy, corduroy-clad cutie. Added to the joys of the stage is the audience’s involvement with the characters. Duncan James is the slimy, smug hunk who wittily plays the arrogant do-gooder that is Warner. The females in the audience all want to hate him, but couldn’t help but ‘ooh’ - and maybe drool slightly - at his first

A red sock fell in the washing machine and everything came out pink

appearance. And Jill Halfpenny is strong support as Paulette, the trailertrash hairdresser who finds true love in the UPS man, to much amusment. Backed up by her girly chorus, ready to inject some pick-me-up in any down moment, this is a feel-good musical down to its core. Trying to work out whether or not a witness to a crime was telling the truth about his affair with the very sexy, slender owner of a fitness empire with abs of steel, Elle proves her legal worth when her gaydar shockingly exposes the witness, in his tight trousers and spangly top, not as gay or European but as gay and European. What is it that makes this show work? Its own acknowledgement of its complete over-the-topness and the irony with which it does it. As well, of course, as the very well trained dogs on stage, adding ‘awwws’ to the audience’s already established sound

repertoire of ‘ooohs’ and ‘ahhhs’ and ‘teeheehees’.

This show is self-aware: it knows it’s ridiculous and over the top Now, it seems to me that any (straight) male, who, let’s face it, had been dragged there by the wife or girlfriend, was intent on being able to scoff and ridicule Legally Blonde once and for all - my dad included. By the end though, they were singing, clapping and giggling along with the rest of us. Just so you realise that this is not just a pink-loving blonde’s opinion of the show, Paul Taylor (note: male), of the Independent claimed that it is ‘ridiculously enjoyable from start to finish.’ See? I know you like, so totally wanna go.


Tuesday 20th April 2010



Kickboxers dominate at Southern Championships Anna Ross Sport Contributor


n the 28th February, 12 competitors from University of Bath Kickboxing Club competed at the Puma Southern Championships held in Paignton, Devon. Out of 12 possible medals, we brought back eight gold and four silver, making it our most successful tournament to date. The competitors were contesting in both point-stop and continuous sparring, and for many it was their first competition fighting at a new higher belt grade, and therefore they would be against more experienced and better fighters. The Bath University “fighters of the competition” awards went to


Number of gold medals won by the team, out of a possible twelve. Bath also won four silver medals

Ahmed Suleiman for winning 10-0 in one of his fights and getting the gold medal comfortably and Nicola Blackwood and Lizzie Brewer, both of whom were fighting in their first competitions. Nicola managed to come back from defeat in the first round to win her second fight and claim silver, and Lizzie beat off everyone in her category for the gold medal. Other notable mentions should go to those who had to fight each

Bath’s kickboxers proudly display their medals from the Puma Southern Championships, held in Paignton in February other in the final. It is always difficult having to fight someone you train with and are good friends with in a competition but both Peter and Anthony and Julia and Amy provided two of the most exciting and high-quality contests of the tournament. This time it was Anthony and Amy who came out on top to win gold, with Peter and Julia getting silver medals. Anna Ross also won gold in her category despite being against stronger and heavier opponents, whilst Hugo Harris won a very impressive gold in the black belt division. Dan Culling did extremely well in his first competition to win gold

in his weight category, and John Buckton and Vito Tomasi both triumphed in close fights against very strong opponents to get gold and silver medals respectively. There was amazing effort from everyone on the day, with everyone getting at least a silver medal. Thank you to Julia and Mr Maynard for driving us all there and back. We have really started to make a name for ourselves now as a club on the competition circuit so next time at the English Championships in June, we can hopefully build on this success and have even more competitors entering and winning.

Bath v Lufbra kickboxing: it’s on THE FIGHT is on for Bath University kickboxers who will put their pride and reputation on the line to settle a bitter score with old rivals. The martial arts club are set to make a big comeback when they take on Loughborough University during the second varsity fight night at the Sports Training Village on Friday 7 May. The last clash between the two sides saw both Universities go into the final fight with equal scores – but it was Loughborough which eventually came out victorious.

However this year the Bath University team are promising to fight back. Rachel Spry, of Bath University Kickboxing Club, said: “After taking an early lead in last year’s event it was disappointing to fall at the final hurdle. “But it’s time to hit back and when our fighters step into the ring they will be throwing their full weight behind our campaign to beat the Loughborough team. “We’ve trained longer and harder and this year’s event promises to

be bigger and better than the last. So come along and support us as we battle to reclaim our territory and pride.” On Friday 7th May the two sides will go head to head with 15 fights deciding the night’s overall winner. The evening includes entertainment as well as the official after party in ‘Flirt!’. Money raised at the event will go to the charity Help for Heroes. Tickets are £4.00 and will be available behind the bar in Plug and on parade from Monday 19th April.

Tuesday 20th April 2010




BUCS success for water polo team Simon Rickards

Luke Jones Sport Contributor


he status of the University of Bath’s men’s water polo team over the last few years has been somewhat of a social club foremost and a sports club as an afterthought. That viewpoint has somewhat changed this year thanks to the arrival of a number of talented players – the starting outfield players have all held international honours at some level – and the following years look likely to bring the status of the sport at the university more into the limelight. The point has been highlighted

Looking on at the top two league teams battling for the Trophy and Championship, there was a shared feeling that they should be there by the team’s dominance of their BUCS league this year. The results throughout the competition have demonstrated that the team is clearly of a higher standard than the third division, and good results outside of

Jonny Cannon about to score in his team’s victory in the BUCS Shield match, held at Sheffield. BUCS against better opponents have underlined the importance for the team to be playing in the top tier and challenging for the championship as soon as possible. The BUCS Shield final in Sheffield was a chance for the team to show the rest of the leagues that they are now a team to be taken seriously. The squad took this opportunity with aplomb, and even the margin of the 20-9 vic-

tory did not do the team justice, as they played some sublime water polo and made a good Chester team look very average. The GB starlets, Jonny Cannon and Tom Jones, tussled for the title of man of the match, with the latter missing out thanks to a bizarre penalty miss and being sent out for a “phantom” brutality which only the referee seemed to see. The goals were spread fairly evenly throughout

the team, which demonstrates the strength Bath now possesses. In truth the victory was something of an anticlimax, as looking on at the top two league teams battling it out for their respective titles there was a shared feeling amongst the squad that they should be at the top. The victory means that they are now promoted to the second tier next year, and if they continue to show the promise that

they have shown this season then captain Dan King’s team will be challenging in the top tier before long. The ladies’ team was unfortunate to be knocked out at the semi-finals stage of their top tier BUCS competition, having drawn some good opposition. As with the men’s team, the squad looks very strong and next year captain Rebecca Sherren’s team should be competing for honours.

Ultimate Frisbee team defend national crown Jack Tommony Sport Contributor


aving won the National 2nd Division at the 2009 BUCS Championships, Bath’s BLT arrived in Sheffield optimistic about their chances of winning the division again. The team were unlucky to miss out on a place in Division 1 at Western Regionals

and were keen to prove that they deserved a place amongst the country’s top university teams. Having been dealt a potentially tough group, BLT needed to be fast out of the blocks for a 9am start against Durham’s DUF. As with last year, the wind played a large part on the exposed pitches at Mount St. Mary’s College, and the two teams traded downwind scores at the start

of the match. Eventually Bath’s extra organisation told and despite squandering some chances on the edge of the end-zone they ran out 11-7 winners. Having hit their stride towards the end of the Durham match, the remaining two group games were fairly routine 12-6 and 13-6 wins over hosts Sheffield and Strathclyde. The second day of the tourna-

ment again started at 9am for BLT against Trinity College Dublin. The gusty winds made defending upwind points very hard work but thanks to tireless zonal defending BLT were able to turn over Trinity and secure two upwind scores, making the score 9-6 at the hooter. The teams now had to play a 2-point cap (effectively a game to 11) and in a nail-biting finish Bath conceded 3 points before rallying to win 11-9

This was a proud finish to the BLT careers of five of Bath’s squad who will be graduating this summer.

Bath’s Ultimate Frisbee team BLT proudly display their winners’ trophy.

and set up an all South-West semi final against Southampton Skunks. Skunks had beaten BLT in sudden death at regionals and Bath were keen to exact revenge on their local rivals. They stormed into a 3-0 lead but a well employed time-out allowed Skunks to regroup and pull the score back to 3-3. This was a full-blooded affair, with both sides giving their all, evidenced by three Skunks players suffering injuries over the next few points. Bath were

able to keep cool in the heat of battle and whilst Southampton threw a number of passes to the ground, Bath were clinical enough to win 8-4. Imperial College London were BLT’s opponents in the final, which was a tight affair between two fast, hard-working teams. Many of Bath’s team had played in the final last year and their experience told, as they were able to utilise their hucking game to score some long points and open up a 7-5 lead at the hooter (with the teams to play a 1-point cap). BLT kept cool heads to take the title 8-5, with Tom Fox scoring the winning point for the second year running. This was a proud finish to the University Ultimate careers of five of Bath’s squad as they will be graduating this summer. BLT train every Wednesday afternoon from 1.30pm by the Lacrosse pitch behind 8W – all are welcome. BLT Nationals Squad: B Groombridge (c), J Allen, A Brooks, M Chart, M Connor, T Fox, S Green, D Mawdsley, A Ready, A Thornton, J Tommony


Tuesday 20th April 2010



Bath Rugby reveal ambitious new owner »»Multi-millionaire rugby fanatic takes over »»Premiership and Heineken Cup “the ambition of the club” Ben Cassels Sport Contributor


ath Rugby has unveiled a new, multi-millionaire owner who has immediately made clear his intention to elevate the club to the very top of European Rugby. Bruce Craig, born and bred in Bristol, is a self-confessed rugby fanatic, a former player and a long term Bath Rugby supporter with a real passion for the long term future of the club – a key factor in previous owner Andrew Brownsword’s decision to hand over ownership after up to two years of discussion. The amount of money changing hands has not been disclosed. The entrepreneur, who recently sold his pharmaceutical distribution business for some £975 million, spoke with great enthusiasm about his long term plans for the club in a welcome press conference. The most interesting development was a spectacular new HQ

outside of the city. Once planning permission is confirmed, the club and its entire staff will move into Farleigh House at Farleigh Hungerford, a stately home in an inspiring setting 15 minutes from Bath, regrouping all the clubs administrative and playing functions, currently split across 4 sites, under one roof. The completion of the facility will see a new training pitch and gymnasium installed at the 130 acre site which formerly housed Ravenscroft School.

Grade II listed Farleigh House has been earmarked by Craig as a new headquarters for Bath Rugby.

The spectacular new HQ, combined with the lure of living in the city of itself is likely to tempt plenty

of big name players to Bath. Such an influx would go a long way to helping the club in its quest to become one of European Rugby’s powerhouses. There was no doubting this sentiment in the vision described by Mr. Craig: “To win the Guinness Premiership and The Heineken Cup

What the club has done is send out a very clear statement of where it wants to be.

Michael Claassens

– and to win them consistently – has got to be the ambition of the club.” Mr. Craig wasted no time in shuttling a selection of his playing and coaching staff over to Farleigh for a tour of the picturesque site. Captain Michael Claassens was overwhelmed by the facilities. ”The new

place is awesome. What the club has done is send out a very clear statement of where it wants to be.” The new man also confirmed his intention to pursue plans for a new stadium for up to 25,000 spectators in line with the club’s existing ambitions.

Tuesday 20th April 2010




Wasted chances cost basketballers dear Bath University 1sts


Bristol University 1sts


FIona Sim

Men’s Basketball

Fiona Sim SA Sports Reporter


he Gladiators’ season has gone very smoothly this year; they’ve won all of the matches in their league. The team were hoping to add another win to their collection today and secure promotion from Tier 2 to Tier 1 with a cup final showdown against Bristol 1sts. Right from the start, it was obvious that it would be a fast and hard match for both teams, and thus it proved to be. With Bath supporters outnumbering Bristol’s by 20-1 the match got underway with Bristol securing the tip off. They instantly put Bath under pressure and had four or five chances to score but were unable to convert due to Bath’s strong man on man defence. Another error from Bristol gave Bath a turnover and they quickly put points on the board in their usual crowd-pleasing fashion. Nerves from both teams soon became apparent and the first foul of the match came from Bristol, allowing Bath’s No. 12, Stephen Mussgnug, to score more points from under the basket. Bath’s defence had been the stronger of the two, but a great set play from Bristol saw them put their first score on the board. How-

With the clock ticking it was the elementary errors from Bath that allowed Bristol to increase their lead ever, this failed to affect Bath and their No.12 quickly replied with a three-pointer. The strong plays from Bristol weren’t picked up by Bath as quickly as they hoped, but an over-eager Bristol player committed another foul, this time on No.15, Bath’s captain Nick Hutton. He was successful with his first free throw, and fortunately the rebound of his second was won by his team, which soon resulted in more points on the board for Bath. Bath 10, Bristol 6. Missed opportunities from Bristol coupled with strong defence from Bath, allowing No. 8 Marc Rovira to showcase his dribbling skills, dodging the whole Bristol team. After a small miscommunication from Bath in the key, and

Bath Captain Nick Hutton goes for a slam dunk during his team’s regional cup final defeat against Bristol 1sts. with the ball refusing to sink, Bristol were back in the scoring zone, putting them in the lead for the first time in the match. With scores coming from both sides and some strong rebounding from Bath’s No.15, the home side were able to reduce Bristol’s lead to 3 points. However, the Bristol team soon capitalised on a succession of unnecessary errors from Bath and maintained their lead at the end of the quarter. Bath 16, Bristol 26. The restart from Bath showed promise, but another foul in the key allowed Bristol to increase their lead to 7. Bath had let themselves down, badly missing shot after shot under the basket, and it took them 4 minutes to even score a point in the quarter. Their spirits hadn’t been crushed yet, but they needed to start playing with a bit

more accuracy if they wanted to get back into the game. Despite this, the Gladiators did start to dominate possession and it looked like they had finally woken up as they went into the break for half time. Bath 26, Bristol 38. Even though Bath were 12 points behind at the start of the second half they were by no means out of the match. The points kept coming for Bristol, but Bath were not discouraged, and a couple of strong lay-ups and impressive dunks from their No.14, Ore Ladele, put them within 6 points of taking the lead. Bath now needed to maintain their composure and stay in possession to keep the pressure on Bristol. Encouraged by some accurate three-point shooting from Bath’s No.8 and great defence in the key, Bath began to eat away at Bristol’s lead. However, once again this ef-

fort from Bath was short lived and their defence became sporadic. The turnovers became increasingly more unnecessary as many players became frustrated with themselves and their team mates. Bath 48, Bristol 57. The fourth quarter saw Bath’s last chance to bring home the win. The pressure soared in the final 5 minutes, as Bath came to within three points of taking the lead. They seemed to have maintained their composure and continued to score points with consistent strong drives through the key from No.15 and impressive but nervy three-pointers from No.8. With one minute left on the clock and Bristol ahead by five, Bath’s coach called a time out to have one last talk with his team. With the clock ticking down it was the elementary errors from Bath that allowed Bris-

tol to increase their lead. The win quickly slipped away from home side and Bristol snatched the win from their grasp. The final score, Bath 70, Bristol 82. Coach Tony Wright said he was pleased with his team’s performance, but felt they never really executed what they talked about in training. It was apparent in the Gladiators’ performance today that the pressure of the occasion had a big effect on some of the players. Captain Nick Hutton spoke of the disappointment of the team not finishing the season on a high with a win. But he emphasised that this must not detract from their achievements this season. They haven’t dropped one game in their league, and with this under their belt they are sure to dominate in their play-off for promotion this week.


Tuesday 20th April 2010



Skiers and ‘boarders tackle French Alps Jennie McConnell reports on Bath’s experience at the British Universities Snowsports Championships.

Above, University skiers in action on the slopes of Alpe d’Huez. Below right, the Bath University Snowsports contingent. Air competition took place under floodlights on the Tuesday evening, drawing crowds of spectators from all of the universities. Bath teams put on a great show, despite the absence of a few of our key racers. The ski team had a very close first race, but made a last minute comeback to win and qualify for the quarter-final. James Berry got one of his famous nose-

bleeds at the start of the next race and crossed the finish line looking like he had been in a fight. The snowboard team also raced well and finished in 5th place. Both on and off the race piste it was a fantastic week, the snow conditions were perfect and everyone came home with new friends, sexy panda tan and lots of good memories.

Thomas Saunders

Thomas Saunders


his Easter Bath Snowsports took a coach-load to the British Universities Snowsports Championships (BUSC), a week packed full of competitions and entertainment. This year BUSC took place on the beautiful slopes of Alpe d’Huez in France, where we were blessed with the perfect combination of snow and sun. Bath entered nine competitors in the events, and put in a very good performance. There were some very successful individual results from Bath’s skiers and snowboarders; Rob Wagner and Angus Maidment qualified for the Slopestyle final, and Angus, Ollie Tulloch and Jennie McConnell also qualified for the final heats of the Skier/Boarder X competition. Ollie became one of the few Bath skiers to ever tackle the Super G course, and a crowd of Bath supporters came out to watch the high speed event. Team dual slaloms and the Big

Tuesday 20th April 2010




Bath lose out to UWIC in hockey cup final Bath University 2nds


UWIC 1sts


David James

Men’s Hockey

David James Sports Contributor


hilst the Bath spectators clearly had the upper hand in the off-pitch banter match (UWIC onlooker: “If you’d like to turn to page three of your song sheet”, drunken Bath lad: “Oi, your mum’s on page three!”), Bath Hockey 2nd XI unfortunately lost out to UWIC’s (University of Wales Institute Cardiff) 1st XI in the BUCS Western Conference Cup Final. The game seemed well-contested right from the push back, with both teams mounting strong attacks on the opposing goal. Bath looked particularly threatening on the wings, yet UWIC’s stable defence meant Bath couldn’t score from their many chances. However, with a goal by UWIC and a quickly converted short-corner by Bath, the first half ended 1-1. Whilst the banter match continued through the half-time break - a sterling Bath fan commented: “We’re better than UWIC chicks with hockey sticks… we’ve got balls

Bath go on the attack against UWIC during their BUCS Western Conference Cup Final defeat too!” - Bath continued to put pressure on the UWIC defence in the second half; clearly demonstrated

The Bath defence produced an admirable effort, but UWIC proved they were just too strong when an attempted aerial from the sideline by UWIC sailed backwards right over the player’s head, above the astro fence and into the

field next door! However, the Welsh team soon hit back and mounted three promising attacks in quick succession. Yet whilst the Bath defence kept composed, scrappy midfield-play by UWIC meant Bath could start to go on the offensive. After promising runs by Ed Sutton, Guy Tasker and Tom Irons, an overly aggressive UWIC defender was the only thing that could keep Bath from scoring, after he unfairly knocked down Bath striker Ben Humphries. Nevertheless, after

UWIC dangerously deflected Bath’s short corner, Bath converted their awarded penalty flick, to stand the score at 2-1. Yet whilst a UWIC player showed his frustration to the ref and was subsequently penalised for foul language (most of which I couldn’t even hide here with asterisks it was so offensive), UWIC returned with a goal from a strong right-wing attack, bringing the full-time score to 2-2. After a short break and yet even

more side-line banter (“Kiss my push-pass you Welsh sheep-sha…), the match went into sudden-death ‘golden goals’, where the first team to score would win the match and indeed the BUCS final. Whilst the Bath attackers handled the ball well up-field, and the Bath defence produced an admirable effort, the opposing team proved they were just too strong for us as another goalmouth scramble saw UWIC poke the ball home from close range, bringing the final score to 2-3.

For their efforts, the three remaining competitors in the individuals were dealt horrendously difficult draws in the last 128 stage. Cadet was given a Leeds 1st teamer, whilst Hunjan was drawn against Rich Wharton of Anglia-Ruskin; 4th seed in the event and former champion. To top it all off, I was drawn against Lee Morris of UWE; the top seed, defending cham-

4-0 to Morris; a frustrating result, as I had a number of chances to take a 3-1 lead. Wharton and Crossey would go on to make the semi-finals, and Morris would eventually be the runner-up. With the 1st team’s success last year, expectations were high in the team events. However, tough draws meant it would be a struggle for either team to make their mark on the tournament. The 1st team came up against defending champions Queens University Belfast 1sts in their first match, and provided them with a stern test, going down 6-2 in the end. A creditable 5-5 draw with Strathclyde 1sts at the end of the first day saw them with a real chance of progressing through to the later stages. However, two losses to Oxford 1sts and Leeds 1sts the next day saw any hopes of qualification for the knockouts extinguished. The second team got off to a faulty start with a 6-3 loss to Cardiff 3rds –

a game which many of the team felt they should have won quite comfortably. A tough second game against Abertay 1sts, who count a Scottish international amongst their team, was therefore even more important. Unfortunately though, some improved play from Bath was negated by some spellbinding stuff from the Scots, who prevailed 6-2 to leave Bath all the work in the world to do to qualify. Two more losses the following day to Nottingham 3rds and Queens University Belfast 2nds proved to be terminal, before eventually finishing on a happier note with a 6-3 victory over Birmingham 1sts. Despite some disappointment, the teams can feel proud of their efforts. Freshers Amatt, Noel and Ma showed tremendous talent, and are sure to be the team’s fixtures in the future. With Pember, Hunjan and Anderson also returning next year, it looks like pool success for Bath is just around the corner.

Pool sharks tamed, but eager to bite back Sean Lightbown Sport Editor


ath’s 8-ball pool teams gained mixed results in the University Pool Championships, held in Great Yarmouth in February. Representing Bath 1sts in the Championship division were Rupinder Hunjan (captain and chief chalker), Dale Cadet, Jabie Saunders, Aman Dhatt and Jourdan Noel. Mason Pember, Tom Anderson, Charlie Cole, Teng Ma and I made up the second string, taking part in the Shield competition. An early start was needed on Thursday morning to make the long trip to Suffolk and get the players there for the 3pm start time of the individual qualifying rounds. Unlike the team tournament outlined previously, these were straight knock-out matches, with all players hoping to progress to the first round proper of

the Individual Championships, and maybe even further. The first qualifying round saw some success for Bath, with Dhatt, Noel and myself making it through to the second stage. Anderson, Saunders, Cole, Ma and Pember were all unlucky to lose closely contested matches and get knocked out of the competition. Cole can feel particularly aggrieved as an in-off on the black gave his opponent the match, when it would have been all square with one frame remaining. Hunjan and Cadet, whose performance the previous year ensured they got a bye in the first qualifying round, both played well to make it through to the first round proper with 3-1 and 3-2 wins respectively. I made it three in the hat for Bath, with a 3-1 win. Unfortunately, Noel and Dhatt couldn’t make it five in the bag; both players came agonisingly close to what would have been an impressive feat in their first year of competition.


Bath players that qualified for the first round of the Individuals.

pion and Welsh international. Despite this, all three of us did well. Cadet played some tactically astute pool to overcome his opponent 4-2, but went out in the next round 4-1 to an Ulster-Coleraine first-teamer Barry Crossey. Hunjan made Wharton work hard for his 4-2 victory, whereas I lost

impactsport Bath demolish Cheshire to claim BUCS Shield Water Polo, p31

University rowers create history Birdman Photography

Records tumble as BUBC deliver the silverware

Bath University Boat Club’s first boat, starting from 193rd position, glide through the water at the Head of the River Race in London to claim an astonishing 50th. Phil Gray Sport Contributor


ast month saw Bath University Boat Club’s senior men attend the Head of the River Race in London. This event runs over the same course as the OxfordCambridge Boat Race, and is the culmination of the winter season, with all entrants racing in crews of eight. The event attracts entrants from a number of different countries, including Spain, Italy and the Czech Republic to name a few, along with a number of current and former Olympians. Bath had two crews entered into the Intermediate 3 category and, in accordance with last year’s results,

were starting 193rd and 395th out of the 400 boats racing. For a number of the Bath University athletes this was their first time competing in the event, and what an introduction it turned out to be. The second boat, starting almost an hour and a half after the race had started, put in a strong performance to overtake six boats on their way to a finishing position of 159th based on time. This was a great result, and better than either of the University’s boats achieved last year. The crew of Tom Sanderson, Jon McCree-Grey, Graham Davis, Oliver Horncastle, Merrick Odam, Chris Weller-Jones, Oliver Towndrow, Boris D’Arcy and cox Hannah Gavin were really happy with the result, and it showed how

much the club has come on since last season. The first boat put in a tremendous performance to finish in 50th place, smashing the previous University best by 27 places. Not only was this


Finishing place out of 400 for the first boat; a personal best for Bath by 27 places

a new best for the University, it was good enough to take the Intermediate 3 category and claim the Uni-

versity’s first ever Head of the River Pennant. Overtaking five crews on the way to this result, the crew managed to finish ahead of some well established university rowing names such as Reading, Birmingham and Edinburgh, and finished an agonising 1.3 seconds behind local rivals Bristol University. This was a huge improvement on the result at BUCS Head the previous month, where Bristol had beaten Bath by 40 seconds. The crew of Patrick Allen, Jack Cadman, Rich Howell, Rob McDougall, Nick McMullan, Rob Good, Will Stride, Phil Gray and cox Sophie Ellis were over the moon with the result and the improvements that had been made leading up to the event. This performance backs up the

result of the University’s women’s team only two weeks before when they also managed to achieve the best ever finishing position at the women’s head of the river. After a tricky race the women managed to finish in 63rd position, a new best for the club. This also highlights the improvement made within the women’s squad. Both these results have provided a great starting block for the rest of the season, and show how much the University has progressed in such a short time. Let’s hope the club can make some more giant steps forward in the summer regatta season and prove to the rest of the country that Bath University Boat Club is a force to be reckoned with!

Bath Impact Volume 11 Issue 12  

The University of Bath Students' Union newspaper

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