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Monday 1st October 2007 Volume 9 Issue 2

impact student

Top Marks for Bath, as Head Teachers Put Uni 4th Nationally Josh Cheesman News Editor

THE SUNDAY Times has published its university league tables, and once again the University of Bath has reason to celebrate, having been included in the top 10 institutions in the country.

While Bath reached a respectable ninth in the general league table, the best result has been in the head teachers’ survey, where it was ranked the fourth best overall, just behind Cambridge, Oxford and Imperial College London, and ahead of other top universities such as Warwick, St. Andrews and the London School of Economics.

The University of Bath is said to have an “outstanding” reputation among head teachers. More than a thousand heads of top British schools were involved in the poll, giving their opinions of universities based on their own experiences of those of their former students. Universities were judged on the general quality of their degree programmes, and were also

Freshers’ Week 2007

assessed for their performance in 30 different areas of study. Bath came first in civil engineering, computer science, electrical and electronic engineering and psychology, its total of four top subjects beaten only by Cambridge’s nine. Bath’s ninth position in the general league table is two places higher than last year. This is

See centre pages for our photo montage

the highest ever position for the university, which has never ranked lower than twentieth.

Bath’s total of four top subjects was beaten only by Cambridge.

“We believe our students get a good education and an enjoyable experience of university life here and leave us with an excellent start to their careers,” a spokesperson for the University said. “But we don’t rest on our laurels – we are always looking for ways to improve what we offer to our students.” The Sunday Times states that the University’s “formidable reputation for teaching, and research in science and engineering in particular, means Bath commands the highest grades from applicants – who outstrip the number of places available by more than seven to one on average.” It also applauds the sports facilities available, calling them “outstanding” and mentioning the regular participation of TeamBath athletes in international sporting events such as the Olympics. Outside of Bath, Oxbridge continues its dominance of the league tables, with Cambridge coming top in the Sunday Times league table and Oxford a close second. London universities have also done well, with the London School of Economics, Imperial College London and University College London taking third, fourth and fifth places respectively.

In impact this week... Ents will tear us apart Joy Division special Page 17

A website review by our stupid expert Page 8

Fancy a bit of bully? Well now you can! Page 22





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Out with the Old, In with the New

Josh Cheesman talks to SU President Dave Austin to find out what’s changed on campus over the summer. love the new lighting! On a related note, if any of the students have any feedback they’d like to give, we’d love to hear from them [check out www.bathstudent. com/contact to find out how to get in touch with the Students’ Union). Impact: Are there any more changes in store for the rest of the year, or is this it for now?

OUT ON THE TERRACES: Students enjoy the new outdoor seating. Impact: First off, the obvious question: what has changed on campus since students left in June?

several difficulties, and Woodland Court, the University’s new residence, is well underway.

“Customers get served more quickly, and there’s more food on offer, with healthier options.”

Impact: How will these changes affect students? That is, in what way will they find the new facilities beneficial?

Dave Austin: Lots of things have changed, actually. The biggest change is the area where Munchies [the University’s fast-food restaurant] used to be. This is one of the initial results of the Pragma survey, which asked students and staff what they thought of the commercial services on campus. They found that the biggest issue people had was the lack of healthy eating options on campus. So we’ve replaced Munchies with an expanded Pitstop [the sandwich shop], and Pitstop’s former location has become the new Plug Bar. We also wanted to get a big name coffee shop on campus, something else students were interested in, and so we have a new Costa Coffee next to Pitstop. Finally, 4 West has finally begun construction after encountering

Dave Austin: Well, Pitstop has always been popular with students – the huge queues at lunchtime were proof enough of that. Now it has two tills and more staff, to make sure that customers get served more quickly. There’s also more hot food on offer, with healthier options like jacket potatoes available. In fact, the whole Pitstop/Costa Coffee area is now much nicer, with all the space utilised and more pleasant areas to sit in.

“The new Plug Bar is much nicer - I really love the new lighting!” The new Plug bar is also going to cut down on waiting times, with it being even easier to get served now. Again, the whole space there is much nicer – I really

Dave Austin: Not really, no. It’s possible that the Pragma survey might find more issues, but there’s nothing else planned as of yet. Impact: Finally, if you had unlimited funds to work with, what improvements would you make to the University?

“Bath is an exceptional university, and the buildings here are insuf ficient for a u n i ve r s i t y o f t h i s quality.” Dave Austin: I hate these questions! They’re fun, but they’re always difficult to answer. I suppose I’d improve the standard of the actual buildings here on campus. Bath is an exceptional university, and the buildings here aren’t sufficient for an institution of this quality. Warwick, for example, has brilliant campus, with an excellent Students’ Union building. So if I had the money, I’d probably build a better SU building. A new arts complex would be nice too, since it’s often said our current facilities aren’t great. But other than that, I can’t really think of anything else.

Foreigners Find Fitting in Formidable Josh Cheesman News Editor INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS at UK universities are increasingly segregated from their domestic counterparts and end up living in ghettos, according to new research by the Council for Industry and Higher Education. The report, which includes feedback from more than 30,000 overseas students in Britain and a further 8,500 abroad, claims that despite paying between £8,000 and £12,000 a year to study in

the UK, foreign students find it hard to make friends outside students of their own nationality. In particular, Asian students are mentioned as “tend(ing) to keep to themselves in class and out of it.” Japanese and Chinese students were found to often have difficulty with their English, and thus feel more comfortable socialising with their compatriots. Rather than pointing fingers, the report states that both universities and students are to blame for the lack of integration. Richard Brown, the Council’s Chief Executive, says that although

“the United Kingdom is high-quality and high-cost… we’re not so good at welcoming students and we’re not very good at developing the employment links, which is what students come all this way for.” “It does happen,” agreed Shreyas Reddy, an Indian student at the University of Bath. “International students do tend to mix mostly with other international students, although not necessarily ones from the same country. However,” he added, “I think Bath is better than most because as soon as students arrive they’re made to feel at home.”



British Students are the Laziest in Europe, New Report Claims

TAKING IT EASY: British students apparently spend less time studying than any others in Europe. Josh Cheesman News Editor A STUDY by the Higher Education Policy Institute (HEPI) has revealed that UK students are the least hard-working in Europe, and that there is a distinct disparity between the workload of students and the grades they receive. The leading think-tank has stated that despite the fact that British students pay some of the highest fees in the world, they spend less time studying than their European contemporaries. Specifically, UK students only spend, on average, 25 hours in classes and doing private study, compared to 30 in the Netherlands and Germany, and 35 in France. In terms of

actual teaching time, the average for a British student is 14.2 hours a week. It doesn’t help that British universities are regularly criticised for the fact that 15% of seminars are taken by postgraduates instead of proper lecturers. Some may suggest that British students are more capable, and thus need less time spent studying to be successful. However, this is not a widely held view. “It is unlikely UK students are significantly more able,” says Graham Gibbs, former director of the Institute for the Advancement of University Learning at Oxford University. “A plausible conclusion is that demands on UK students are lower in terms of expectations of study hours or in the standard expected to gain credits – or both.”

The report, which consulted 15,000 first- and second-year undergraduates, also found that students with part-time jobs spend significantly less time on their course work. In addition, there are large disparities between different subjects – those studying medicine or dentistry generally work 35 hours a week, while others doing ‘arts’ courses like media studies only put in twenty hours. These figures can vary widely between universities: studying medicine varies between 46 hours a week to 20 hours a week, social sciences 36 to 14 hours, and law 45 to 19 hours. The fact that degrees can be earned with the bare minimum of study raises questions as to the fairness of the marking. “It raises questions about what it means to have a degree from an English university, if a degree can apparently be obtained with such very different levels of effort,” says Bahram Bekhradnia. In addition to these findings, the report also assessed the satisfaction of students, with 25% of first-years and 19% of second-years being completely dissatisfied. Gibbs also believes that the high levels of moderate satisfaction may be the result of students being happy with “an education that makes comparatively low demands on them.”

The HEPI survey also notes that 27% - a “worrying proportion” – of international students already feel that they aren’t getting value for money, and it might not be long before they start to look elsewhere for their education. This has come as a shock to many British academics, who have long considered UK universities to be superior to their European counterparts, due to perceived overcrowding and a preference from international students for lessons in English. Bekhradnia, the institute’s director and co-author of the report voiced concerns about the reputation of British universities: “If it becomes universally perceived that our students do not get very much for their money in this country, then that could start to affect our universities – and affect our ability to attract overseas students.” Universities UK, the organization which represents Britain’s vicechancellors, disagrees with the findings. A spokesperson said they “would caution against coming to any sweeping conclusions based on the survey’s limited sample size and because the results relate mostly to feedback from first-year students who are only in their second term.”

Chem Eng and Walking in a Winter ESML Students Pilot Wonderland? Online Academic Rep Elections Tom Milburn VP Education STUDENTS FROM the Departments of Chemical Engineering and European Studies and Modern Languages will be piloting online elections for Academic Representatives this year. Academic Reps are students who are elected to represent the views of their course at SSLC meetings so that their educational experience can be improved. This pilot scheme will help decide whether or not all Departments have online Academic Rep elections and are an exciting new development in the Academic Rep system. Online elections will provide students with a uniform election process and also includes such fun features as being able to upload pictures and manifestos to help you win your coursemates over from the competition! Remember, being an

Academic Rep looks great on your CV, and is a brilliant way to get to know people from your course. If you are from either of these Departments you can nominate yourself online from the 1st of October. Simply go to bathstudent. com and follow the elections link from the homepage. Once on the elections pages it’s simply a case of finding the relevant post for your course and starting your mini campaign. If you don’t think you’ll be able to run to be an Academic Rep then just make sure your vote counts! You can check for candidates and read manifestos as soon as people have uploaded them. Then you simply have to wait until the 8th of October to cast your vote and decide who will be representing you this year. If you have any problems at all or any questions about the process than feel free to email me at

Josh Cheesman News Editor MARKETING BODY Bath Tourism Plus is launching a new initiative to promote Bath as a ‘winter wonderland’ of fun and romance, in a bid to draw more visitors to the city in usually quiet cold months. The campaign includes a Winter Highlights brochure and a website promoting the various attractions Bath has to offer, as well as providing details to help book a holiday between September and March. Local shops, restaurants, hotels and event organizers are backing the project, and Bath Tourism Plus Chief Executive Robert Bischert says that the organisation is “really pleased with the enthusiasm our members have displayed in support of this campaign.” This is the fourth year that Bath Tourism Plus has advertised the city’s all-season appeal, and it remains to be seen how successful this particular attempt will be. The city certainly isn’t short on events though, with the Jane Austin Festival, the Bath Festival of Children’s Literature and the Bath Food and Drink Fortnight this month alone. Upcoming attractions include



News in Brief Student Hit with Jug at Freshers’ Party A FOURTH year student was struck on the head by a jug at a the ‘Surprise Party’ thrown by the Students’ Union for first years on Monday 24th September, the day before Freshers’ Week officially started. Not much is known about the incident, other than that International Management and Spanish student James Coleman was injured whilst at the party, and was later seen arriving at a local hospital. When asked about the incident, Coleman declined to comment. He stated that since the injury wasn’t serious, he felt the issue didn’t need to be discussed. The incident has been compared by some to an event two years ago, when the drummer in an ABBA tribute band threw a full bottle of water into the crowd and injured a student. Fortunately, this occasion was not as serious, and unlike before, no legal action is being taken.

New Look for

RETURNING STUDENTS may have noticed there’s a brand new look to the Students’ Union website. Over the summer, has been revamped to provide improved functionality for staff and students, as well as being more pleasant to look at. As posted on BathStudent, new features include “photo galleries, social networking, event signups, video content, enhanced dynamic content, increased interactivity, online entertainment and event management tools and more sophisticated online software.” There are also more good things to come, including blogs. As always, the SU appreciates your feedback, and you can send any comments on the new website to VP Communications Andy Burton at

Photo: Archive

Bath Academic Writes of “Overcommercialisation” of University in US

the popular Bath Christmas Market (29th November to 9th December), the Bath Mozart Festival in November and the Literature Festival in March. “Winter Highlights as a campaign works extremely well for Bath and beyond as a destination because we are lucky enough to have a wealth of events and festivals that many other destinations don’t,” says Bischert, “so we attract a lot of consumer and media attention at this time of year.” It remains to be seen how popular the Winter Highlights project will be with students. While the various festivities may prove entertaining, an overly successful campaign may result in the city being flooded with tourists. Also, comments have been raised as to how Bath can claim to be a winter wonderland when it doesn’t have an ice rink any more.

CHRISTIAN GILDE, a member of the Marketing Group in the university’s School of Management, has edited a new book on the increasingly intrusive presence of big business in colleges and universities in the USA. The book, ‘Higher Education: Open for Business’, collects papers from eight authors on the “disturbingly” commercial nature of academic research, classroom activities and sports. Contributors include Professor Elizabeth Miller of Boston College, and Dr. Catherine O’Neill of New Mexico State University. “If universities morph, more and more, from knowledge seekers into profit seekers,” Gilde comments, “we are faced with a development that will change the landscape of higher education.”








Facebook: Stalking and Talking... Charlotte King Comment Editor IT’S QUITE alarming that when I log onto the internet every morning, I now check my Facebook account as I check my email account. It’s become a natural thing that I just do without really thinking about. From September 2006 to September 2007, increased its ranking from 60th to 7th most visited web site, so it’s not just me! Is it just that I am nosey? Facebook satisfies that natural urge to see what’s going on with everyone you’re connected with and learn the up-to-date ‘gossip’. Those people that were ‘acquaintances’ - the ones at school who you probably would have said “hello” to in the street, but nothing more, are added. You may even exchange a few lines of small-talk with them but it’s unlikely you would ever socialise with them. I’m sure I’m not the first to say that a few of my ‘friends’ on there I don’t even particularly like. A few times I’ve raised my eyebrows at the people who have added me, or worse, ‘poked’ me. The truth is, without the internet and the ability to ‘add’ people and subsequently track what they’re doing

indefinitely, we probably wouldn’t keep in contact with half the people on the contact list. It’s not that I’m against ‘connecting people’, but I hate that a lot of the time it drips with falseness; everything ends with ten exclamation marks and is overly happy and enthusiastic. The exception to this is when someone has a very worrying status, like ‘Mark is deeply depressed and is ready to end it all…’. There are people who use Facebook as kind of an extension to email; but more of a live email, like texting I suppose. They may ask “are you out tonight?” to a friend. Personally I don’t really like this sort of public organising. I don’t like the thought of my contacts reading my wall posts and knowing that I’ll be departing from Dimbleby station at 11.00 to meet Wendy, “and I’m really looking forward to it!” One thing it is good for is organising events, assuming that most people check Facebook as often as you, otherwise the event will have passed before they have accepted the invitation or decided to answer “maybe” and remain ambiguous about whether they’ll be there or not. I don’t display any personal or private information; certainly not my mobile number or address.

The way I see it, people who I really care about already have my numbers and address so I don’t need to tell Joe Brown who I sat next to in year nine French. People broadcast their information on this sort of network then wonder why they get phonecalls and letters from companies asking them to buy or subscribe to, something. In effect, Facebook is a self-updating database of a narrow spectrum of the population that is a goldmine to some companies who want to know what mainly the younger generation are interested in; it provides free statistics, ranging from sexual orientation to favourite film. There is also the risk of identity theft as someone could build up a detailed profile of another individual using a site like this from seemingly ‘impersonal’ information on a profile. Writing this I’m wondering even more why I actually have Facebook and haven’t followed through with clicking after the couple of times I’ve hovered over the ‘deactivate account’ link in the tools of Facebook. Despite all it’s annoying flaws and dangers I know that I would probably join it again if I did deactivate the account, so I just leave it be. I just remember never to put anything on my profile that could be used against me or in an attempt to be me.

A DIRTY PERVERT STALKER: garnering pics for Facebook

Andean Adventures: Culture Shock

Alexa Bellingham’s first instalment as she reports from Bolivia with some eye-opening anecdotes while on her year abroad... DECIDING TO go to Bolivia for part of my year abroad, to be able to continue with my SIFE Bath project “Esperanza Economica”, was probably the most surprising decision of my life. After being told by various people there was a high chance of being kidnapped, stabbed, raped, having drugs planted on me and therefore arrested and /or killed, I was more than a little anxious before heading off.


BOLIVIA IS HERE: not in Europe

A friend and I decided to travel around Peru for two weeks first, which was the most amazing experience of my life! However, the holiday had to end sometime and I started my placement with the women´s welfare charity, CEPROSI, (Centro de la Promocion de Salud Integral) in La Paz at the end of July. Arriving was definitely a shock to the system both physically and emotionally. Bolivia is right in the middle of South America (not, as many people believe, in eastern Europe) and La Paz (the governing capital) is located in the Andean mountains, about 4000 m above sea level, and as such looks like someone has literally scooped out a dip in the mountains and then poured houses into it, some of which have splashed up the sides with snow capped mountains in the background . In the UK people would pay millions for a view like this. However, here in La

Paz quite the opposite applies. The further downhill you go, the more you pay. Being this far above sea level also means that natives notice tourists in a heart-beat. Apart from the requisite backpacks, and newly bought alpaca jumpers, scarves, hats and gloves, after 30 seconds walking uphill (and in La Paz you really cannot avoid it, it’s like Bath, only hillier), tourists are gasping and spluttering and reaching for their water. Another culture shock is seeing the amount of indigenous people wandering around the city. The indigenous women have an especially interesting form of attire. Starting at the feet, they wear tiny plastic ballet-shoe-type slippers and thick warm socks followed by long layered skirts to cover their short legs and on the top half, jumpers, usually hand-knitted. Over the top of these jumpers are beautifully ornate shawls with long fringes. Finally, no self-respecting cholita would be seen in public without a bowler hat in grey, black or khaki green perched atop two thick plaits. Strangely enough the thieving of

IN BOLIVIA: this location would cost you a fortune these bowler hats is the most common petty crime in La Paz. The biggest shock however was the poverty throughout the city, and nothing can quite prepare you for it. Men, women and children walking around the streets begging for money from anyone, targeting tourists in particular, even people sleeping on the streets, or else they would have fainted due to starvation or thirst. We, at SIFE Bath, are hoping to help combat the problems of poverty, by working with women around the city to develop their arts and crafts skills, and

then to export them to the UK. Sales start at the end of October! For more details of the project, see www.esperanzaeconomica., or contact me, Alexa Bellingham, If you are interested in volunteering in Bolivia for your year abroad contact James Jardella (jmj21@bath. For details of SIFE Bath and its projects see, or contact Team Leader Alex NicholsonEvans, (










LIVING RIGHT in the heart of a city provides a privileged insight into its soul. As I sit in my apartment, shutters necessarily closed on the world – the disadvantage of residing in a ground floor flat that looks right onto the street – I can hear the stories unfolding outside. Whether it is people chattering and shouting to each other, cutlery clattering and glasses chinking, the tourist train clunking and squeaking past the window or the sound of the streets being cleaned at 5am, I miss none of it. With the last example, I only wish I did. All of these sounds reveal something about Aix-en-Provence, the town in which I will be spending the next six months. As the presence of the squeaky train suggests, Aix is quite clearly a tourist town. It is easy to see why. Haphazard buildings of about four or five storeys tower over narrow


Scant’s Regard: Sights and Sounds Every issue Laura Scantlebury reports on the perils of spending a year abroad in France. This week, she uses all her senses to explore her new home... streets, shading them from the heat of the Provencal summer sun. Numerous fountains nestle amongst the shops and buzzing restaurants of the old town centre, the largest of them placed proudly at the end of Cours Mirabeau, the elegant, tree-lined main street. Sound idyllic? Well, yes it is. The trouble is, charming though they are, the streets of Aix are not really very easy to admire. Indeed, as a pedestrian in Aix, you learn to be incredibly alert – alert not to the beautiful surroundings, but to dangers that must be dodged, including motorbikes driving on the pavement, cars appearing from an alleyway that is surely too narrow for vehicles, and smartly-dressed French women on a mission, women who would sooner mow you down than move slightly to the left of the pavement to allow you to pass. And why is it necessary to wash the roads in the early hours of the morning? To rid them of the copious amount of dog excrement that adorns the cobbles, of course. Consequently, when strolling around the city it is near impossible to concentrate on anything apart from avoiding it.


Although a little sleepy in the morning, by the evening Aix is a vibrant town, less so because of its clubs; rather, it is due to the enormous selection of restaurants which spill out into the squares: when it is this warm, no one wants to eat inside. Each street in Aix is virtually indistinguishable from the next – with more restaurants than shops, shuttered windows on ramshackle, faded orange buildings. In fact, it is hard to tell which of the crisscrossing alleyways is your own – I have frequently ambled past my own front door, oblivious to its significance. However, I like to think that this demonstrates not a poor sense of direction, but a clear focus on dog poo evasion. With my eyes staring unblinkingly at the ground, one way of recognising my dwelling is the rich, velvety tones of Gregorian chanting that often echoes in the church opposite it. I hear that, and know, literally, that I am home. Deep baritones of monks’ voices punctuated with hooting horns of impatient motorists snarled-up in the narrow alleys: the soundtrack to life in Aix-en-Provence.


Featuring: The Fabulous Features

Deputy Editor Adam Luqmani’s regular look at the weird and the wonderful on the World Wide Web. This week it’s a stupid collection of dumb products, games, jokes and “stupid.TV” (short clips of… well, stupid stuff).

OKAY, SO a website with funny clips and jokes on it is nothing new – but the weird crap they have for sale definitely set this site apart from the chaff. I really liked browsing the huge range of bizarre products – all of which can apparently be ordered through the site – ranging from funny badges and stickers to larger or more intricate products that are funny, simply because they exist. There’s a totally pointless inflatable bowl, a Fidel Castro action figure, a screaming rubber chicken, bacon flavoured mints…a life jacket for your golf ball…a couple of pages full of stuff. Then we have things that are just completely idiotic. You can buy an instant Irish accent spray (no, really! It’s not guaranteed to work, but I think the idea is that you pretend it does, for a cheap joke). There’s a really stupid “rubber band ball kit” which consists of, simply, a bag containing rubber bands, with the description: “Like wasting your precious time? Well, thanks to Stupid. com, squandering large chunks of your life has never been easier.” My favourite product was the ingenious “my dog ate my homework – PROOF!” … This is just sick.

You’ve all heard the excuse before, “sorry, I haven’t brought my essay in; I promise it’s finished…” (shifty eyes) “…but my dog ate it”– either you used it yourself or heard of someone who was dumb enough to try it. The only problem with it is that it never ever works. Well, thanks to this product you have proof! You can bring it in to class in a doggy bag and “demonstrate” the evidence to whom it may concern. Well, what could be more concrete

than this squidgy, brown offering of fake dog turd with bits of paper and notes sticking out of it? Whether they believe it or not, your lecturer will surely find it difficult to give you a hard time after you whip out this little puppy! Another gem among their products are the Bacon Strips Adhesive Bandages – feel the healing power of pork! The description proclaims “Why purchase a pathetic Band-Aid or paltry


Curad, when you can put some pork on your punctured pinky?” Aside from’s gifts and toys section, there is a fine selection of spoofy games at their sub-site, games. Among the many, many appallingly bad games on offer, there are one or two very entertaining little programs. One of my personal faves is “Burn Them” – a stupid and pointless game where you are a giant, holding a magnifying glass, and incinerating tiny people and cars as they mill about below for about 2 minutes; until a large truck with a gas canister turns up and destroys the city. Genius! Or, depending on how you look at it, stupid!

Hi guys, I’m Josie and am going to be responsible for the Features section of impact throughout this year. My first challenge, when being appointed Editor of this section, was discovering what “Features” actually entails. The best answer that I can come up with? Everything that doesn’t fit in any other sections… and that’s pretty much the only restriction. As you may or may not have noticed, we have an array of regulars that will be in every issue. They range from cooking columns to psychology columns and beyond. Not forgetting the omniscient horoscopes: your all-encompassing guidance for the fortnight ahead. Features will hopefully serve to your entertainment and your pleasure, but also supply you with information and thoughtprovoking topics. Like any other section, we are always on the hunt for contributors with imaginative ideas. Whether you are a budding journalist or just want to share something with your fellow students, we always welcome new contributors with open arms. E-mail me with any articles, ideas, comments or complaints ( and I promise they will be appreciated. Aside from that, I hope that Features will fulfil your expectations and, in combination with the other sections, make impact an awesome student newspaper.








Sweet Dreams are Made of This In her second article, Psychology student Rosanna Pajak dives into the land of nod. APART FROM nightmares, most of us would agree that dreams are pretty damn good, enabling us to escape our own little lives for a while, and providing bizarre pillow talk in the morning. For a few hours a night we can fly, meet celebrities, talk to animals, explore the world and much more. Yet in reality, we are still at a loss as to exactly what dreams are and why we have them. One psychologist studied a woman who was able to have lucid sex dreams that produced orgasms (some people have all the luck!). But what’s the point for the rest of us? We spend a third of our lives asleep, and generally about two hours dreaming every night… it may not seem as if we dream that much, and that’s because sadly we forget 95% of our dreams. What’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had? In a way it’s a depressing thought, but perhaps it was just a muddled memory of the most salient parts of a long boring dream. F reud argued t h a t a l l d r e am s represent wish-fulfilment, mainly focused on our repressed desires. Basically… sex. According to him, when we dream our subconscious explores the ideas that we uncomfortably push away when awake. Dreaming of horses apparently means sex, and a cigar… well, you get the idea. The problem is, Freud’s patients were dreaming in repressed nineteenth-century Austria. In today’s world where so little is taboo, we’re much more accepting even of our most bizarre sexual desires, so we don’t

need to explore them symbolically whilst sleeping. And what about our nightmares? Although we aren’t as eager to discuss them in the morning, many of us will have dreamt of loved ones dying. That can’t be wish-fulfilment, however annoying your boyfriend may be… Plus we’ve probably all had dreams that are threatening and leave us feeling terrified. My sister has a recurring nightmare whenever she is ill, of an old Eastenders character called Lorraine poking pins into her pillow and forcing her to lie down on them… Where’s the wish-fulfilment in that? Even more importantly, can this really mean anything at all? It is possible that our dreams are just as random as they seem. Psychologists have found that whilst we are in deep REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep, the areas of the brain that deal with emotion, perception and action are very active, with neurons randomly firing away. Dreams could be our way of trying to make sense of all these messages as if they are real, which is why we create such very strange emotional visual narratives in our heads. Hobson explains: “the brain is so inexorably bent upon the quest for meaning that it attributes and even finds meaning when there is little or none in the data it is asked to process”. It’s a nice theory, Hobson, but there is a snag. We do often dream about things that are happening in our lives at the time, or even about conversations we had or people we

saw that very day. Perhaps dreams are our way of getting rid of all the useless information stored in our brain as we sleep, freeing up space for the morning. Or maybe in a way Freud was close, and we dream about our current concerns, looking for answers. A group of people trying to give up smoking had their dreams analysed: almost all of them dreamt about smoking, and interestingly those that had the most dreams about smoking, accompanied by feeling guilty in their dream, were less likely to start smoking again. So amazingly, our dreams can have a strong effect on our waking behaviour too. Personally, I almost like the way that psychologists remain perplexed, unable to work out exactly how or why we dream. An old school friend of mine pretty much dreamt 9/11 on the evening of the 10th – planes, flames, hostages, building, the works. A certain Australian I know experiences very strong ‘deja vu’ – rather than just a feeling of having been in that situation before, he actually remembers dreaming it and can even know what people are about to say next. Yet how can they possibly have dreamt something before it has happened? Does this mean that dreams are something else altogether? Much as this scares both them and me, I still feel dreaming is one of life’s better mysteries, and perhaps will always remain so. To attempt to understand your strangest dreams, check out www.!

Tea for Two Quid

Amira Fathalla’s regular food column.

IT MAY not have been an especially sunny summer, but let’s pay tribute to the nicer days with this delicious Nicoise salad. From now on it may well be soup and scarves, so savour this French salad in style before it’s too late! There are loads of versions of Nicoise salad, but this one’s a nice and simple recipe, and makes a great (and healthy) change from the typical student diet. In France this salad is prepared in totally different ways by different people and restaurants so chop and change as you like. Try adding rice, parsley, rocket or cucumber to the salad or some mustard, mixed herbs and lemon juice to the dressing. This is a real winner as a main salad for lunch, a side for dinner or a packed lunch for uni.

Ingredients: (Serves 1) Small handful green (runner) beans Handful of lettuce leaves, roughly chopped 1 tomato, chopped or cut in wedges

1 potato, peeled 1 can of tuna, drained 1 egg, hard-boiled (boil/simmer for about 10-12 mins) 4 anchovy fillets, chopped in half Handful of black olives, pitted 1tbsp olive oil and 1tbsp vinegar for dressing 1. Slice and boil potato for 7-10 minutes.

2. Trim the green beans and chop in half. Cook in boiling water for 3 minutes or until done but still crisp. 3. Slice the egg into wedges using a knife dipped in water (stops the egg sticking). 4. In a large bowl mix together the potatoes, tomatoes, beans, lettuce, tuna, olive oil and vinegar and some seasoning and carefully mix. Top with anchovies, egg wedges, and olives.

ASLEEP ON THE JOB: a student dreaming, possibly about badgers

HOROSCOPE Madame Soufflé

GREETINGS FROM the heavens, my star children. I am Madame Soufflé and I will traverse the astral planes and helicopters in order to guide you through the year. There are only twelve kinds of person in the universe; here’s a summary of what this week has in store for each of you. CAPRICORN (D EC 22 - J AN 20) This fortnight will see you stubbing your big toe on your left foot when you least expect it, so watch out for that. (J AN 21 - F EB 19) AQUARIUS You’re going to adopt a whale and then discover it’s actually your real son. Ironic or just a coincidence? (F EB 20 - M AR 20) PISCES This fortnight you will go to jail. You will go directly to jail. You will not pass go, you will not collect two hundred pounds. (M AR 21 - A PR 20) ARIES This fortnight you will dodge a metaphorical bullet only to be hit by a real one. Tough break. (A PR 21 - M AY 21) TAURUS If you see something shiny bounce into the road this fortnight don’t follow it or a plane may fall on you. (M AY 22 - J UN 22) GEMINI Now is a good time to rob the SU finance office. Go quickly while they’re not looking.

CANCER (JUN 23 - JUL 23) You’re going to meet a tall dark stranger. He’s swarthy, elegant and terrific in bed, but he’ll attempt to mug you. Run! LEO (JUL 24 - AUG 23) Something may or may not to happen to you that you may or may not like. Either way you might feel indifferent about it. VIRGO (AUG 24 - SEP 23) You’re going to trip up the stairs in the library and people will laugh at you and you’re going to feel really embarrassed. LIBRA (SEP 24 - OCT 23) You may think singing to your loved one will make you seem more attractive. It won’t. Keep your trap shut. SCORPIO (OCT 24 - NOV 22) Love favours you this fortnight. Unfortunately it’s from an unwanted gender. Still, if you’re feeling curious… SAGITTARIUS (NOV 23 - DEC 21) You will be abducted by aliens but it will turn out to be a big misunderstanding. They have three eyes.





Imagine... The SU and You Josie Cox envisions scenarios you never even considered. First up: Freshers’ Week without a stiff drink. AS THE summer holiday began to draw to a close, I stumbled upon the event programme for Freshers’ Week on the Uni website. Curious as to what bizarre ideas the organisers had come up with this year, I skimmed through the calendar, musing over the mental images of intoxicated smurfs swaying across the Parade, semi-naked students in makeshift Togas stumbling back to their respective halls at 2am. From Bar Footsie to Bierkeller, the images and memories from last year are vividly etched into all of our memories. Although most of us inevitably need a night of recovery once in a while, I can guarantee you, that one person is unfailingly present at every single event. That ‘someone’, goes by the name of Mr. Booze and is ever-present irrespective of whether he has a wristband, or whether his name features on the guest list or not.

“...the Union bar has become the Mecca of most campuses...” Most of you probably agree that drinking is an element of student life which is just as imperative as lectures, coursework or exams. Undoubtedly, any reminiscence of Fresher’s week 2007 will feature epic tales of drunken nights and hung over mornings. But, is the fact that the Union bar has become the Mecca of most campuses not an indication of the true tragic nature of the contemporary student’s habits? Obviously, we have all been confronted with the warnings and affects of excessive alcohol abuse: liver damage, heart failure, high blood pressure, infertility, a high risk of having unprotected sex (even if “unintentional”)…the list goes on and on. So why do we ‘binge drink’? Hang on a minute…“binge drink?” I hear you say, “I’m not a binge drinker!” If you take a peek at the terms classifying “binge drinkers” (for women this is

anything above 4 glasses of wine on one evening), then count up the units which you manage to idly throw back on a good night out, you may have think again rather than drink again. So own up and admit it guys, ‘cos we’re costing the country £20 billion a year and another £6.4 billion in industry, as a result of lost days at work. The cost to the NHS is £1.7 billion, with 22,000 premature deaths caused each year through alcohol-related incidents.

“...22,000 premature deaths caused each year through alcohol related incidents...”

IMPACT HATES to be the bearer of bad news, but Freshers’ Week is now over and we’re all going to have to get on with University life as best we can, without the nightly parties and hedonistic randomness. One key factor in helping students go about their day-to-day life will be the Students’ Union, an organisation acting in a number of different ways to improve the all-round student experience for you. But what exactly is the SU and what does it do? To put you a little more in the clear, here are the answers to some typical questions regarding its setup and functions.

BOOZING BATH-STYLE: Hands up who is a binger!

Decisions on what the SU does are made by you, the students, through various committees, including the Union Council. The Executive Committee is made up of the Sabbs, who are responsible for deciding

The Students’ Union exists to represent its members and provide them with services, support and opportunities for development to enable them to maximise the benefits of their overall student experience.

NO! The SU runs bars and other commercial services for two main reasons. Firstly, to provide you with affordable and convenient services, and secondly so that we can generate income which is used to run the activities and support services for you, e.g. the sports clubs, societies, AWARE and volunteer centre. What are Sabbs? Sabbatical officers are normal students elected to work in the SU for a year. Their jobs involve representing you to the University and other bodies as well as leading and developing the SU.

regular reporting and planning. The Union Council elections are running now, and you can read more about them and submit your nomination at How can I get involved?

You can get involved with the SU very easily – simply being part of a sports club, society or volunteer group is being involved with the SU. If you would like to get more involved then there are various different ways of doing so. You could become an academic rep for your course or help run a club or society. You could also stand for a position on Union Council and help make decisions about the whole SU, and any student can stand to be elected as a Sabb.

What is the Students’ Union?

Is the SU just a bar? Bearing these stats in mind, Tony Blair’s term “The British Disease”, to describe this new trend, doesn’t seem particularly exaggerated or melodramatic. On a brighter note, despite the fact that abstinence seems like a nightmare for some of you, imagine the perks of not drinking. Let’s assume you go out 3 nights per week; you spend roughly £2 to £3 pounds per drink, buy perhaps 5 drinks throughout the evening, the rest being donated to you by that bloke or bird whose been eying you up all night. Do the maths and you will learn that almost £40 per week leaves your wallet in exchange for feeling the effects of your liquid companion. £40, of course, is also convertible into a nice dinner out with friends. The reward for a week of being tee-total could be a return train ticket to London, and two weeks may even pay for that new pair of jeans that you are planning on buying in the capital. So what have we learnt? If you aren’t convinced of the benefits of being abstinent, make sure that you enjoy your drink thus maximising the pleasure you are getting from your overdraught. And with these final words, I urge you to launch into a year of university life, during which your friendship with the notorious Mr.B, can be as intimate as you want it to be. Cheers and drink up!

Who runs the SU?

How is the SU funded?

on the aims of the SU and are held to account by Union Council. The SU also has excellent staff, who organise and run the daily activities of the Union; they are also always available to give you advice or support on a huge range of topics.

The SU is funded with income from various different sources. We receive a grant from the University each year; we also generate income from our shops and bars and also from our membership activities, i.e. sports and societies. All of this money is spent on running and improving the SU. So any money that you spend in the bar or on a membership is put straight back into your SU.

What is Union Council? Is the SU part of the University? Students’ Union Council is the highestlevel decision-making body in the Students’ Union, responsible for giving the SU direction (through deciding policy) and approving the aims of the Students’ Union Executive (by approving strategy). It is a forum for raising issues and discussing items (through questions to officers) and holds the SU Executive to account through

The SU has its own constitution and management structure and is effectively run as an independent organisation. However it does receive a grant and other support from the University, and work closely with the University and its departments in order to represent your views most effectively.

impact student

open meeting, monday 1st october, 7pm, elements



Freshers’ Week 2007 Our pick of the pics









It’s Tom Time! Chill Out with Polar Bear TODAY MIGHT be the beginning of term, but it’s also an exciting start from an arts perspective, with BUSMS and BUST performing their first shows of the year over the next fortnight. It’s difficult for performing arts societies to fit in so many shows every year, so the tradition is often to rehearse outside of term time. This is a great example of the dedication shown by those involved, and as we see year after year, the quality of the performances truly reflects the commitment they put in. The start of term also signals the beginnings of various classes, workshops

and rehearsals for the many Students’ Union arts societies. The ICIA has all the information you need if you’re interested in any of these. Also, if you’re a member of an arts society, don’t forget to pick up a discount card from the ICIA so you can see their professional productions at a knock-down price! If you haven’t yet joined an arts society, you can do so easily at

Bath University Student Theatre presents Howard Katz, by Patrick Marber Fri 12 - Sun 14 Oct, 7.30pm ICIA Arts Theatre Tickets: £5 BUSU, available from the ICIA Box Office (1 East 2.1)

Jewish showbiz agent, is deep in the middle of a mid-life crisis. A series of flashbacks reveal a desperate battle of survival against his own despair. Slumped on a park bench with a collection of suicide weapons, looking back at what he has lost – career, family and his self respect – he finally asks the question that’s been troubling him all along. How are we supposed to live? Get involved… The Student Theatre Society (BUST) meets every Wednesday 7.45pm-9.45pm, ICIA Arts Theatre.

Tom Newman Arts Officer

BUST: Top Katz

THIS BITING black comedy, by awardwinning writer/director of the West End hits Dealer’s Choice and Closer, tells of one man’s search for his soul. Howard Katz, once a successful

Get Polishing

Polar Bear and The Blessing Sat 20 Oct, 7.30pm ICIA Arts Theatre Tickets: £5 BUSU, available from the ICIA Box Office (1 East 2.1) WITH A reputation as one of the most creative acts on the UK jazz scene, Polar Bear’s Held on the Tips of Fingers has fast become a classic since its release in 2005. Selected by Jazzwise magazine as one of “100 Jazz Albums that Shook the

those Lenses for Photosoc’s Picture Comp

World” and nominated for a BBC Jazz Award and Mercury Prize, it’s with bated breath that devotees await their album this autumn. Part of a new breed of improvisers, Polar Bear’s raw-boned jazz merges cool jazz, funk, drum and bass with an electronic sound scape. They are forging a distinctive high energy nu-wave Britjazz sound, led by genius drummer Sebastian Rochford. Band members also form part of Acoustic Ladyland and the F-IRE music collective.

“Some of the most original and exciting music of the last few years.” The Guardian. Support act The Blessing are something of a Bristol jazz supergroup: its four members have graced the line-ups of Portishead, Roni Size’s Reprazent, Super Furry Animals, Robert Plant and Dr John. Expect hard-edged bass riffs, blasting horns, electronic trickery and hefty drumming. “Awesome.” Band of the Year 2006 (Jazz/World) Venue Magazine

arts on campus

University of Bath & Photosoc Photography Competition Open to students and staff at the University of Bath Submissions by 9 November 2007

How to Enter Download an entry form from ICIA’s website, Please complete and hand it in with your images at the ICIA Office, 1 East 2.1 Deadline for entries: Friday 9 November 2007 You may enter a maximum of three photographs, black and white or colour. Photos must be submitted as a 10x8 print or printed A4, and as jpeg/tiff on CD. Categories There are three categories: landscape, documentary and portraiture – open to your own interpretation. Prizes Four winners will be selected for £50 prizes • A student from each category • One overall staff prize All winners and seven runners-up will receive a large (A1) print of their photo. All winner and runner up photos to be exhibited.

classes & workshops From 8 Oct onwards, sign up in advance at ICIA Box Office dance ballet, street, jazz, contemporary, tap, urban fusion art ceramics, drawing, painting, life-drawing, stained glass music big band, DJ skills, music lessons, instrument loan

ces a l p few aining rem

performances, concerts & exhibitions pick up an ICIA brochure or see the website for more information

ICIA arts e-bulletin - free - sign up at Office 1 East 2.1 Tel 01225 386777

get involved…





Single: Beverley Knight Queen Of Starting Over

 Katy Larkin




Broken Boy Soldier

Release Date: 15th October Record Label: Parlaphone

FRESH FROM supporting Prince at his O2 Arena dates, ‘Queen of Starting Over’ is the new single from soul diva Beverley Knight. As is customary with Ms. Knight this track brings mellow motown back to the mainstream. With a silky, sultry voice and a wicked trumpet accompaniment, ‘Queen of Starting Over’ shows Beverley’s voice at her best. An artist that is often overlooked when it comes to soul music (young whippersnappers often opting for Beyonce as their ‘Soul Queen’) it seems a shame that Beverley never really receives the chart recognition that she deserves. This is an up-lifting record that all soul and jazz fans will appreciate, although it doesn’t have the ‘X-Factor’ that is so often needed to make it big.


SO FRESHERS’ week has ended, and togas are safely tucked away for a later date. With lost and largely hungover first years now looking for other sources of amusement (despite the horizontal naughty dance), what better way to do so than to scour the pages of an all new entertainments section for the year? Fresh from helping bleary-eyed first years navigate their way around campus, and doing his best to ignore the repeated cries of ‘OH MY GOD you sound like Peter Kay!’, ents coeditor Sean Lightbown returns armed and ready to bring you the very best of what’s going on in and around uni. Besides talking in the third person, Sean has been a very busy boy this week – keep thine eyes glued to these here pages for our very special ‘Summer Of Live’ feature, and a

preview of the forthcoming Ian Curtis biopic Control. What else can you guys expect? Well throughout the year we’ll be reviewing the latest releases and concerts, as well as keeping you in the know about what is happening around the area. Sitting around listening to CDs, watching DVDs and seeing great live acts. A tough job I think you’ll agree, but someone has got to do it. No doubt returning students are counting down to the return of Score on Wednesday and Funky Guppy this Friday. For the unknowing fresher reading this, expect a hearty mix of your favourite pop, cheese and wall to wall sweat-drenched revellers. Elsewhere, Saturday sees the launch of rtrt – a brand spanking new club night at Elements playing all the indie, rock, dance and owt else alternative in between. As always here at Impact, we value the opinion of you, the student. So, read something so good you just want to gush your praise for all of sundry to see? Heard a song so rank it deserves to be named and shamed? Spied an arcticle which you believe us editors should be shot for publishing? Then write to us, dammit! Yep, send us your reviews and we’ll

put you well on your way to journo superstardom. Maybe. Anyway ta for reading my inane ramblings and enjoy the issue. Who knows, it may be the best thing you ever read.

Sean Lightbown – Entertainments Co-editor

FANCY WRITING FOR THE ENTERTAINMENTS SECTION? If so, bring yourself and your large ego down to the Impact meetings, taking place at 7pm in Elements every Monday. We have a ton of stuff asking to be reviewed, ranging from CDs to gig tickets. Who knows, maybe you’ll even get to interview one of your heroes! If you keen lot have an article ready to send, or have any entertainmentrelated enquiries, then email us at without hesitation, and we’ll get back to you in a flash. As long as it’s not too early.

Live Preview: Los Campesinos! @ Bristol Thekla 10/8/07

SETTING FIRE to dancefloors all over with their infectious mix of guitar hooks and twee jangly fun, the octet bring their bandwagon and the kitchen sink to Bristol. Surely on the verge of superstardom, Cardiff University’s finest export will in time be able to sink the Thekla with their future fanbase. See them on the boat so you can be one of those I-saw-them-before-they-werefamous types.

Album Preview: Babyshambles Shotters Nation Parlophone Out 1/10/07 HEROIN, CRACK, Kate Moss Pete Doherty has done alot of stupid things. The second album from the exLibertines’ man and his band promises to serve up the usual mix of chaos, out of tune guitars and piercing lyrics. Has ‘love or hate’ tattooed all over it. Sean Lightbown

Entertainments Co-Editor

From Macclesfield to Martyrdom: Ian Curtis

With the release of the biopic Control on the 5th October, Entertainments Co-editor Sean Lightbown takes a look at the man, Joy Division and the legacy they left behind. MANCHESTER LESSER Free Trade Hall, June 4th 1976. This watershed moment in musical history saw some unknown band called The Sex Pistols play their unique and anger-ridden sound to an audience barely totalling 40. The names of the people there, to the modern ear, sound like a who’s who of the Manchester music scene; The Buzzcocks, Tony Wilson, Martin Hannett and…Mick Hucknall. Also in attendance were three men who, so inspired by what they had witnessed, went out and formed a band. With the recruitment of a front man and various hirings and firings later, the names Ian Curtis, Bernard Sumner, Peter Hook and Stephen Morris would become known as the godfathers of post-punk – Joy Division. More than three decades after, director

Anton Corbjin releases Control, a biopic focusing on the tragic lead singer Ian Curtis. With the production assistance of Curtis’ widow Deborah and the late Manchester music maestro Tony Wilson. Performing the role of the man whose jerky movements onstage sometimes resembled (and on occasions, were) epileptic fits is Yorkshireman Sam Riley, who ironically played Fall singer Mark E Smith in the Manchester music biopic 24 Hour Party People. Yet despite Curtis’ macabre lyrics, dead eyes, booming delivery and onstage franticness conjuring a broad adoration for the band, Joy Division were far much more than that. The meeting of minds committed to breaking the mould, the unique platform of Wilson’s factory records on which to build on, the maverick productive genius of Martin

NO JOY: The ill health of Curtis (Sam Riley, right) put strains on the band.

Hannett, with the monstrous echoes in songs like She’s Lost Control adding an overwhelming sense of majesty among the depths of despair. A chance meeting of catalysts, fusing and reacting with one another to create music and sound, produced a level of iconicity and importance of which we are unlikely to see many more times in the future. The first of these musical beasts, debut LP Unknown Pleasures, provided a near-perfect mix of wall-to-wall guitars, chugging bass and solemn melancholy. The cover art, presenting 100 successive pulses from the first pulsar discovered, adorns t-shirts and posters the world over. The soundscapes themselves range from the frenetic and danceability of Disorder to the sombreness and despair of Day Of Lords - complete polar opposites, yet instant classics in their own way. The follow up album, Closer, was released 14 months later in October 1980. However, the man who crafted the poignant words to contrast the clinical edge to the music was not around to see it. Four months earlier, Ian Curtis hung himself in his home in Macclesfield. The tragic loss has been attributed to the troubled front man’s state of mind – battling with epilepsy, medication (on which he overdosed just a month before his death) and an impending divorce. The increasing intimacy and self-destructive nature of his lyrics on the Closer LP is often read as a

NOT A BAD DEBUT: Corbijn’s first feature film has won a host of acclaim. forewarning to his suicide, yet Closer as an album is far away from Unknown Pleasures sonically as well as verbally. The guitars which drove the first album were replaced with the sprawling synths as heard on Decades, and the louder/softer contrasts epitomised on the masterpiece Twenty Four Hours. It was the explosion in all directions to Unknown Pleasures’ angular mirth. Fans, critics and mourners fell over themselves to get their hands on a copy. As Ian Curtis, and thus Joy Division were laid to rest, the remaining members form New Order, pushing their synthdriven pulsating sound ever further into the mainstream with every record released. Post-Curtis releases only furthered the band’s reputation, with Substance bringing to light Atmosphere

and the sing-along classic Love Will Tear Us Apart. Joy Division have and always will hold a lofty place in the musical hierarchy. Their sounds and lyrics, though firmly resonate as a bleak portrayal of life among declining industrial Manchester, connects firmly with any person familiar to disillusionment, anger and emptiness, regardless the generation. With the upcoming biographical release, now is as good a time as ever to sit back, turn on your CD player and lose yourself in an ocean of noise and melancholy. It’s all about focus. It’s all about control. Sean Lightbown

Entertainments Co-Editor



Entertainments: Summer Of Live

Gremlin Rock Mogwai in Surround Sound

Somerset House Series 12/7/07 Somerset House IT’S FUNNY how things can change in 48 hours. 48 hours ago, I would have qualified myself as a Mogwai appreciator, rather than a fan. 48 hours ago, I didn’t have a ticket to Mogwai’s portion of the Somerset House Series. From the moment Barry Burns’ cohort of sonic terrorists take the stage under a crimson summer night sky until the dying shreds of feedback as guitarist Stuart Braithwaite systematically destrings his instrument; it is a rapturous and spellbinding summer’s evening. Despite being only closely familiar with three albums of Mogwai’s impressive studio output, this lack of prior knowledge isn’t the hindrance it can often be; as Braithwaite once said: no lyrics means nothing to sing along to. However, ‘No lyrics’ isn’t a strictly true adage for this evening, with former Arab Strap man and support act Malcolm Middleton taking to the stage for a rare live performance of “R U Still In 2 It?” as well as Braithwaite himself delivering the starkly beautiful “Cody”. As the refrain “Old songs stay till the end, Sad songs remind

Album: Liars Liars Out Now Mute

EPONYMOUSLY TITLED albums are generally the premise of the debutante band. But liars are bucking the trend, by naming their fourth LP-shaped blast of discordant psyche garage after themselves. Though, as ever with Liars, the unexpected is to be expected. The pounding, driving opening track and lead single “Plaster Casts of Everything” is a mile away from the spaced out drone found on previous, critically acclaimed, album “Drum’s Not Dead”. It’s the most pummelling and immediate track the NYC art garage rockers have released since the seminal “Mr. You’re On Fire Mr.”. The sheer urgency hits you like a full on kick in teeth as Angus wails, banshee-like “ I WANNA RUN AWAY I WANNA RUN AWAY I WANNA TAKE YOU TOO!”. Put simply, it’s the biggest and best slice of all-out rock I’ve heard all year. Period. But you have to question the wisdom of Aaron, Angus and Julian in putting such an electric track right at the start. Opening with a bang is one thing, but opening with full-on atomic warfare is another. Thus, the rest of the album suffers in comparison. Second track “Houseclouds” stumbles and staggers around like Beck walking slap bang into the The Jesus And Mary Chain at 3am on Camden High Street. The shuddering Yeah Yeah Yeahs-esque art punk of “Cycle Time” provides a rip-roaring burst in the middle of the album but

me of friends” is taken up by the onlookers and echoes around the white stone of the courtyard, Braithwaite cracks a wry smile, perhaps at the prospect of having to eat his own words. But Mogwai’s true strength lies not in lyricism, rather in the harsh contrast between melody and abrasive ANGRY BALD MAN: Mogwai’s Stuart Braithwaite noise found in their compositions. And in the dying light of album closer “We’re No Here”, the of a spectacularly and surprisingly sunny prospect of fully orchestrated FX-laden July day, with utterly crystal clear sound, chaos is never too far at the back of the there is hardly a better stage for Mogwai mind to lead to boredom. Leaving the arches and balustrades to shine on. This is twilight music, is the realisation, as their slinking, of London’s most beautiful venue, I creeping signature track “Hunted By A grin deafly at my companion, a long Freak” slithers upwards, Burns’ highly time fan who has completed a decade modulated vocals rising above the of Mogwai gigs tonight . His response caterwaul of FX and melodic bass. is a wry smile and a small yet pointed For an instrumental and rather complaint: “Well, it’s a shame it didn’t immobile live act, it’s difficult to rain tonight”. Only a Mogwai fan could pinpoint what Mogwai do to hold wish that, and next time, I’ll be praying attention. Their secret is not to hold the for rain too. eye, but rather the ear. The crunching cacophony they generate on songs  such as the epic “Ex- Cowboy” and the Philip Bloomfield razor-edged shrapnel rock of “Glasgow Entertainment Co-Editor Mega-Snake” is a mile away from the moody, bass propelled melancholia of “Kids Will Be Skeletons”. Even during real epics such as a 20-minute version the shambling skronk of “Pure Unevil” steals the show in terms of late album tracks. Liars also prove they have variety in spades - the spiralling “Protection” closes the album in the closest thing the band knows to beauty with sheets of scatterbrained white noise. But the very variety Liars exhibit is actually the album’s downfall. It lacks the cohesion and the focus previous albums have had, which highlights some of the inevitable filler. The pointless whirring and grinding of “Leather Prowler” and the frankly overly weird overtones of “Sailing to Byzantium”, in particular, stand out like sore thumbs. Whereas “Drums Not Dead” and “They Were Wrong So We Drowned” had a common thread in terms of songwriting and concept running through them which glossed over much of the filler, “Liars” lacks a similar vein, and this ultimately, is its downfall.  Philip Bloomfield Entertainments Co-Editor

Album: Pull The Pin Stereophonics 15th October V2 AFTER TAKING a year out the boys from Cwmaman are back with their 6th album. Fans awaiting this new release will not be disappointed; this is a mature, well-rounded record which embodies everything that makes

the Stereophonics a band that has released some amazing hits over the past decade. Kelly Jones’ voice will make hearts melt; the gravelly tone so refreshing from the usual lacklustre performances of recently ‘discovered’ bands. The enthusiasm and passion of the band is also reflected in their songs. As Kelly states on their ‘MySpace’ site, “I wanted to say something on the record, to start doing story songs again, but with everything I’ve learned in the past ten years, big choruses, big sound. It was not to make political comment, but just to observe what was going on around me in working class situations, real environments.” This aim has certainly been achieved; one listen to songs such as the opener ‘Soldiers Make Good Targets’ beautifully illustrates the ‘real’ circumstances that have inspired the Stereophonics over the past two years. The band has already enjoyed airplay success with ‘Bank Holiday Monday’ and ‘It Means Nothing’ – good albeit obvious choices for their comeback songs; the latter a fast-paced offering with a chorus to ‘rock out’ to; the former demonstrative of the bands’ talent for catchy ballads. Other tracks that stood out included ‘Daisy Lane’: another compelling and mellow track which brings up issues in today’s society such as gang crime and street violence. ‘I Could Lose Ya’ and ‘Lady Luck’ are also great rock tracks with piercing guitar riffs which go back to the Stereophonics’ gritty roots and are sure to be future favourites. If the quality of music won’t sell this album then maybe the artwork will. The simplistic black background and image of two sets of glossy lips is bound to


Leed Act ?

HERO AND ZERO: Trent Reznor and Billy Corgan THE CARLING Weekender brought an annual dose of Rock n Roll to the masses, with some generous side portions of sex, drugs and alcohol. Not that Impact goes in for that sort of thing, ahem. Staggering home from a riproaring weekend at Leeds, Impact remembers being ‘highly disappointed’ (read: to the point of tears) by a lacklustre set from recently reformed Smashing Pumpkins () which even the inclusion of a awe inspiring “Disarm” couldn’t rescue. Yet it wasn’t all doom and gloom - this editor could be heard screaming from the metaphorical rooftops that Nine Inch Nails () “were probably better than any band ever”, and indeed the industrial goth rock titans ripped and tore their way through fantastically lit set, which ended in bonafide rock n roll nut for hire Aaron North piledriving his guitar into a speaker stack. Entertaining doesn’t even come close. Techy dance proggers Battles () got the tent jumping, but failed to reach the

dizzy heights that they often promise, whilst ex-hardcore man Frank Turner () whipped up the crowd into a frenzy with his Billy Bragg influenced acoustic rock. Amongst the new bands, a sparky Foals () impressed, and the jerky stop start electro of boygirl-boy trio Crystal Castles () translated well live. But it was left to the wonderful Silversun Pickups () to really make the jaws hit the floor, as the LA based quartet bathed the Carling Tent in swathes of shimmering guitar FX and taut drumming, and causing a suitably ‘refreshed’ Impact to shout that they were “100x better than the goddamned Arcade Fire”. Ones to watch. Ending the weekend with the incredible punk disco of NYC nutters !!! () and the swirling trip hop tones of UNKLE (), Impact realised that there’s more to life than Billy Corgan. The bald git.

become an iconic album cover. The electric pink and yellow draw the eye straight to this cover, as one luscious set of lips pulls a pin from the other (get the imagery there!?) Sexually-charged and immediately recognizable, this sleeve adds the finishing touches to another Stereophonics classic.

singer’s intonation changes. It assaults the ears and leaves the listener dead inside. Can anyone seriously stand up and say that this is a clever album? The only thing in there worth a listen is their so-so debut, “It’s not about You”, and even the lyrics of this relative ‘high point’ are so bland and repetitive that they would be invisible against a beige wall. Assuming that their best songs are their singles, “It’s not about You” and “She’s so Lovely”, it’s a mighty shame (haw) for Scouting for Girls that these two are already over after the first three tracks. As for the rest of the album; well, their music is samey and their lyrics are banality redefined. If you were at a party and things were getting too hot to handle, whack this bad boy on. It’s sure to drag down the excitement levels. I can imagine a fan of the album, sitting on their own, in their room or perhaps in their cell, blasting this out of their stereo; staring intensely at the wall. As they listened to the “happy happy music” they would be quietly nibbling on their collar and rocking steadily back and fourth, with all the lights on and all their possessions neatly lined up in order of size. Preferably, avoid this album and destroy all copies you come across.

 Katy Larkin Contributor

Album: Scouting For Girls Scouting For Girls Out Now Epic WHAT A pile of toss. The current single off this album, “She’s so Lovely”, is a very strong contender for crap pop song of the summer. It actually sums up the whole album quite nicely. I’m sorry, it’s just pisspoor. “Unforgettable melodies and weaving lyricism”? Not a bit. Their ‘unique gimmick’ is to have a piano included in pretty much all of their songs. I would hasten to add that another ‘feature’ of their music seems to be that, using this piano, they bash out the same dull chords in pretty much all of their songs. Every track is played at the same tempo, and all their songs are about the same thing. There’s absolutely nothing here. Note that not even the

Philip Bloomfield


Adam Luqmani Deputy Editor



Not-So-Ancient History Comic Relief Preview:

The History Boys Bath Theatre Royal

2nd-6th October From £5 (tickets available from midday on day of performance) THEATRE: IT’S all “et tu, Brute”. A bit too much “to be or not to be”. More “This is the winter of our discontent” than is strictly necessary. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Alan Bennett’s spectacular play “The History Boys” arrives in Bath at the Theatre Royal this week, and quite frankly, you’d be foolish not to go and watch. The National Theatre brings it’s spectacular production to town from the 2nd to the 6th of October, with local Bath boys Tim Delap and Daniel Fine in starring roles as two of the ‘History Boys’ themselves. From the writer of wickedly satirical plays like “The Madness of King George III” and “Kafka’s Dick” comes a play charting the progress of 8 unruly and boisterous Oxford hopefuls in a northern school, and their tutelage under the enigmatic Hector and the irrepressible Irwin. The play isn’t just about education though, dealing with ‘real life’ for adolescents - anarchy, sport, and of course, sex. Homosexuality and pederasty both feature strongly in what is a fairly adult play about a youthful time of life. But the most important question raised by the production is

THAT’S HISTORY, BOYS: The Boys ready for class how and why we should teach. Should we teach knowledge for knowledge’s sake? Or is knowledge merely the means to an end? As ever though, the most meaningful topics are best approached with humour and a degree of wit, both of which Bennett and director Nicolas Hynter, provide in spades. From schoolboy tomfoolery to classroom backchat, the dialogue snaps and crackles with both a realism and a comedy. And if all that hasn’t sold you, the play won 3 Awards at the 2005 Oliviers, and 6 awards at the 2006 Tony Awards. So remember, history is more about sex, life and anarchy than facts, dates and figures. Philip Bloomfield

EVERYONE LOVES a good laugh. You know the sort, the uncontrollable variety, right from the belly, leaving you with a grin that lasts for hours, or a red face resulting from a manic cackle that really should have been kept under wraps. During the months of May, June and July (exams, exams and RAIN respectively) this year, I found a new way to brighten my days with said laughing-stand up comedy. My foray into the joy of stand up took me to a smoky (RIP) FOPP Westgate(RIP), for Edinburgh previews from headliner Rhod Gilbert (he of voice of the Welsh tourist board fame) and support Jon Richardson (he of 6music fame). The latter, less established Jon had me in stitches with his admittance of OCD behaviour and general hatred of the world, so funny in fact that a boy quite literally fell off his chair with laughter. The former, however was less impressive, from his explanation of a seemingly irrelevant show title ‘What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?’, to an excess of generic Welsh jokes. His only rescue was by the brilliant audience banter, particularly from the unlikely source of a stacked skinhead nicknamed ‘big c**t’. A bargain at 5 pounds. Next came another Ed preview, Russell Howard at the Canal Cafe in London, unfortunately experienced at a table right at the front of this intimate candlelit venue, the equivalent of putting a massive target on your head and saying HUMILIATE ME. Luckily,



he did not respond, as his brand of risque, energetic and observational humour was material enough. Captivatingly bouncing round the stage, he had the audience nodding along empathetically to his quirky observations of life. Quality. Festivals are a perfect place to catch comedy, if you can fit it between the beverage swigging, gig watching and general debauchery. I managed to squeeze the inexplicably sexy Irishman Ed Byrne into my Reading itinery, his intelligent(!) Jade Goody/James Blunt bashing in the cross legged, cool calm of a tent was a welcome break from the burning sun and massive crowds, but wish I hadn’t bothered with Simon Amstell the following day, who should stick to the Donny Tourette and Preston mocking, rather than his paceless and bland stand up act. I’ve come to the conclusion that comedy is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get, grassy venues or riverside theatres, quality newcomers or past-it celebrities and most importantly laughs or an absence of them. This element of the unpredictable is exactly the appeal. October sees Comedy Festivals left, right and centre, and with local venues such as the Comedy Cavern in Bath, and Jesters in Bristol. Get looking at listings for a titillating and cheap evening out. Lorna Greenwood

Laura Marling My Manic and I EP Record Label: Virgin Records Release Date: October 8th

A MERE slip of a girl at 16, Laura Marling steps into the ring to battle the banality of the recent glut of female singer/songwriters. With none of the faux-cockney of Lily Allen or fauxnaif of Kate Nash, Laura Marling has a serious head on her young shoulders. New Romantic’ had already caught my attention with its slot as Jo Whiley’s ‘pet sound’. It’s a sweet little ditty and unlike Nash, Marling can match killer lyrics to a fine melody. ‘Night Terror’ is a moodier affair altogether, bringing in a more complex musical arrangement, strings and backing vocals. ‘My Manic and I’ is a pretty ambitious track but Marling carries it off with panache. To end it, ‘Typical’ is a swooning, swirling piano-laden song, returning to the simplicity of the opener ‘New Romantic’. My Manic and I’ is an excellent showcase of Marling’s talent and I can only hope there is more to come.  Kate Hamblin Contributor



Entertainments: Summer of Live

2007: The Summer Of Live BOY, HAS it been a summer and a half. Festivals up to our bloodshot eyeballs, gigs up to our sweating armpits and rock ‘n’ roll all over the shop. But fear not, gentle reader, for Impact has come to the rescue with our one time for all time Summer of Live feature. So kick back, grab yourself a lukewarm overpriced plastic cup of beer, and enjoy the very best of summer ’07: OUR TOUR of summer kickstarts with those lovable pop punksters The Thermals, playing Camden sweatpit Dingwalls. Kicking off with a spectacular rendition of “Here’s Your Future” and nearly breaking Impact’s face with an anthemic take on surefire classic “Pillar of Salt”, they prove that longevity is only a word, but fun is so much more than that. 

STORMING FROM Sheffield’s worst kept secret to international rock stars, Arctic Monkeys have, to all eyes and ears been THE band of the past couple of years. A year after their rather let-down of a set

at Leeds Festival 2006, t’monkeys decided to have another crack at the arena gig playing two sold-out nights at Lancashire County Cricket Ground. Despite Alex now having the balls to banter instead of looking like the scared kid he was last year, the gig was disappointingly steady and unspectacular. The poor sound means tunes such as ‘Fake Tales…’ and ‘A Certain Romance’, despite entertaining, weren’t done justice whatsoever. 

FANTASTICALLY SQUAWKY I m pact faves Blood Brothers returned to the UK after their last tour was sadly marred by illness. Impact caught them at London’s ULU, and whilst the band pulled out all the stops on stage and gave plenty of spit and shine to their trashy party hardcore, the likes of the usually wonderfully angry “Beautiful Horses” were sadly mauled by muddy sound and poor acoustics. Shame.  RETURNING BATTERED and dazed from Leeds, Impact was sad to witness the final gig from Scottish gloomsters Aereogramme playing The Luminaire in Kilburn. The boys are on fine form, their metallic chugging underpinned by some beautiful string arrangements and heartfelt lyrics. “Nightmares” off their latest album in particular tears at the heartstrings, and the snarling

“Wood” reminds of exactly why they are going to be so sorely missed.  SUMMER’S GOT to end somewhere, and luckily for us it ends on a absolute high. Impact was lucky enough to catch the incredible Beastie Boys when they rolled into town to play a Brixton date. DJ Mixmaster Mike whips the crowd into a frenzy, as the band play instrumental funk grooves from their new album mixed with their fast talking and ridiculous yet witty rapping. Ending the night with a frenetic version of the hardcore influenced “Sabotage”, Impact can’t help but wonder why all rap music ain’t this good, as it storms into the moshpit.  Phil Bloomfield and Sean Lightbown

Entertaiments Co-Editors

impact student

get involved:

open meeting, monday 1st october, 7pm, elements


Preview: Brakes @MOLES, Bristol 13/10/07 ODDBALLS AND eccentrics. Pretty good way to descrihe Brakes. The cross regional indie rockers bring their ‘All Night Disco Party’ to Bath’s fantastically intimate MOLES. Expect beats, guitars, unhinged banter and plenty of dancing. Everbody now:”PORCUPINE OR PINEAPPLE!? PORCUPINE OR PINEAPPLE!? SPIKY! SPIKY!”

Film Preview: Control 5/10/07

OK, SO we already ran a section on Joy Division this week, but gosh darn it, we are just so excited about this film. Photographer Anton Corbijn’s Ian Curtis biopic, filmed in bleak monochrome, has won plaudits left right and centre, and promises to be among the best films of the year. Highly recommended.

Now Booking: Mission Of Burma @The Croft, Bristol 15/11/07

THE SEMINAL and criminally inderrated American alt-rockers come to Bristol. Noted for their use of live tape looping, and incredibly distorted guitar effects, they come over like a more melodic Sonic Youth. See you there, right?

Single: Young Knives Terra Firma Release Date: 27th October Record Label: Transgressive Records FRESH FROM their recent Mercury Music Prize nomination, Young Knives are by no means resting on their laurels. ‘Terra Firma’ opens in a style almost reminiscent of Oasis’ ‘Champagne Supernova’ before getting down to business with spiky guitars and sneery, Jilted John-esque vocals. It seems an attack on consumerism is the order of the day, though I’m not sure what’s meant by the chorus of “Fake Rabbit, real snake, terra firma, terra firma” but heck it sounds good and is now lodged so deeply in my head it’ll be stuck there for days.

 Kate Hamblin Contributor


Monday 03-Oct


Wednesday 03-Oct Thursday 04-Oct Friday



8pm-until late 9:30pm-3am Check for times*

Saturday 6-Oct

9pm-2am Sunday 07-Oct Check for times*

Also Afsoc presents 411 @ Latin & Ballroom Society Night SCORE Turn Up Take Part Funky Guppy “Back to School” Rugby World Cup RTRT Rugby World Cup

Monday 08-Oct 9:30pm-2am Tuesday 09-Oct


Wednesday 10-Oct

Friday 12-Oct


BASS Society Night SCORE


Your Space


Funky Guppy ‘ Traffic Light Party’

Thursday 11-Oct


9:30pm-2am 9pm-2am

Tuesday 02-Oct


Saturday 13-Oct

Check for times*

Rugby World Cup

Sunday 14-Oct

Check for times*

Rugby World Cup






Lord Coe Unveils the New Oar-some! Boat £1m Sport Science Labs Club Thriving ROWING

Trevor Iddenden Rowing Chairman FOR MANY, rowing is a completely new sport when they join university. Bath University Boat Club (BUBC) is fully equipped to cater for new rowers, and we provide extensive training for our Novice Crews for when they compete in their first races before Christmas. The BUBC Freshers’ Programme has had continued success recently, finishing in the top 3 BUSA places 2 years running. We aim to improve on those successes this year and are keen to recruit anyone starting University this year whether you have rowing experience or not. As a club, BUBC are consistently top 10 finishers at all BUSA events. These achievements are a testament to the club’s reputation for the hard work and the determination of its members. Former members Heather Stanning, Dave Lyons, Adam Freeman Pask and

Marcus Bateman have also competed for Great Britain in Under 23 and Senior World Championships. Last season the senior men’s first eight raced through to the second round of Henley Royal Regatta, closely losing out to the eventual finalists. The club is one of the biggest in the University and offers many opportunities to row to a high standard or to keep fit and experience the positives of being a member of a thriving club with a great social scene. The club hosts three main social events during the year including Initiation, Christmas Dinner and the world famous BUBC Boat Party! Regular smaller socials are run throughout the year. Soon the club will be moving into its own boathouse, for the first time since it was founded in 1979. Many thanks to the University Alumni, Students Union, Sports Association, Boat Club Alumni, and the British Universities Rowing Trust for kindly donating the funds to make this happen.

HEATHER STANNING (right): Under 23 World Champion

Adrian Dalmedo Sports Editor LORD COE, Chair of the organising committee for the 2012 Olympics (let’s not get started on the logo), was in Bath recently to formally open the University’s new £1m Sport Science laboratory. The new biomechanics facility will carry out research with the targets of improving performance and preventing injury. Elite athletes will be able to fine tune their techniques and Joe Bloggs will also benefit as they explore ways of preventing fall injuries. Deputy V-C, Professor George Lunt said that “the University is delighted that this new facility is being opened on

time and on budget”. Unlike Wembley. He also added that “it provides greatly improved facilities for our staff in Sport & Exercise Science and what is particularly important is that it locates some of their excellent research within the environment of our world class Sports Training Village.” The new facility includes ‘force plates’, which allow measurement of the stresses on athletes’ limbs at differing stages of sprints, turns and jumps. There is also a digital media room, which will provide high resolution video footage to analyse movement and technique. During the opening Lord Coe said: “It gives me great pleasure to open these fantastic new facilities today, here in Bath. I know just how important that


Calling all budding Andy Fordhams!

Make sure you don’t forget all the gold (plated) rings and bracelets...

Paul Jaggers P.U.B. Sports Chairman FOR THE first time in 3 years, ratification was given at the end of last year for a new sports club to begin this year. P.U.B. Sports is offering 4 different sports to its members; Snooker, Pool, Ten-Pin Bowling and Darts. P.U.B. Sports is an acronym for Popular University of Bath Sports but rather conveniently spells out the location where most of these sports are played!

The University competed last year in the BUSA Snooker and Ten-Pin Bowling tournaments with no club and it was felt that a club should exist to represent these sports. The Chair and man behind the idea, Paul Jaggers, said, “Having competed in the Snooker last year and knowing that it would be impossible to set up 4 different clubs, I thought it would be a good idea to combine the sports within the same club.” The Pool and Darts sections will be meeting on Monday nights in the

Plug and Elements with Snooker and Ten-Pin Bowling taking place on Wednesday afternoons at the Sulis Club and Bowlplex at Longwell Green respectively. The club hopes to run internal leagues as well as enjoy social sessions and find our competitors for BUSA competitions. “The club is aimed at anyone from professional down to those who just like to catch up with mates over a game in the pub. We hope to extend our BUSA entries from Snooker and Ten-Pin Bowling to include 9-Ball Pool. Unfortunately Darts is not a BUSA sport yet!” Paul explained. If you are interested in P.U.B. Sports, why not head to the Sports Fair on Tuesday 2nd October from 4-7pm and get some more information on the club. They will also be running a darts competition; for £1 entry, the highest score with 3 darts wins a crate of beer, alcopop or a soft drink alternative. Pool, Darts and Snooker sessions will be free to members on a first-come, firstserved sign up basis. Bowling will incur a small charge each week but it will be at a heavily discounted rate for members,

including return travel and 2 games. The Committee are also looking for section captains for each sport so if you are interested then please contact You can join the club now by heading to and following the Sports link at the top of the page which will give you all the information you need about joining the Sports’ Association and Sports Clubs. So chalk those cues, polish those balls, step up to the oche and come and join P.U.B. Sports!

extra hundredth of a second can be and the facilities here will enable athletes to develop and hone their technique. Sport science laboratories such as this will enable them to be at the top of their game.”


THOSE OF you watching ‘Sportsround’ on BBC2 on Saturday the 22nd would have noticed the University pop up. Olympian veteran of Sydney 2000 and Athens 2004 swimmer Darren Mew was filmed in the 50 metre pool demonstrating a number of swimming strokes.

THE WORLD Student Games recently took place in Bangkok, Thailand. The British athletes won ten medals in total – one gold, four silvers and five bronze. Swimmer Mew, along with fellow Bath student Matt Clay picked up a bronze medal. British team boss Iain Moir was extremely proud of his team, citing the extremely high standard of the competition.

BUSA COMPETITION begins in earnest soon, so here’s a look back on Bath’s success last season. On the badminton court Bath literally wiped the floor, with the men’s and women’s firsts winning their respective BUSA Championships. The seconds weren’t too shabby either, both getting to the final of the plate competition. The men’s football team almost emulated this, finishing runners up in their Championship. Other Championship winners included squash women’s firsts and the volleyball women’s firsts, for the first ever time.






American Football, more than Padded Rugby THIS IS the first in a series of ‘Sports Club Profiles’, in which Sports Editor Adrian Dalmedo presents the University of Bath’s American Football team, nicknamed the “Killer Bees”. Every issue of Impact will feature a profile of a different Club, so if you want your club publicised get in contact on impact-sport@bath. THE KILLER Bees, Bath University’s American Football team, are coming off one of the most successful years in the club’s history. After winning their SouthWestern division, including beating eventual national champions Bristol, they were named Bath University’s Club of the Year, acknowledging the hard work of members and coaches in the running of the team as well as its performance on the field. The game is an amalgamation of tactics, teamwork and physical ability.

There are numerous positions on the field each requiring a different combination of size and skill, subsequently every member who joins the club is able to find one that best suits their abilities. Most players become familiar with the game for the first time when they join university and much of the equipment is alien to them. All helmets and pads are provided free of charge making it an affordable sport for players on a student’s budget. Last year the club received a face-lift with new kit, aligning the team with the university’s traditional blue and yellow colour scheme. For new players an intensive “crashcourse” in the basics of the sport at each year’s mini-camp quickly brings their knowledge to a level where they can train with the rest of the squad, and challenge for starting places. With no limit on substitutions during a game every member of the squad gets the opportunity to

Kingdom and Europe. October the 28th will see the NFL host the first ever competitive professional match outside of North America, at Wembley stadium. Over half a million ticket applications were received demonstrating the interest the sport now generates in this country. A benefit of the large, friendly squad is that socials, like the famous “yellow Friday”, are truly memorable. The entire squad encroaching on the city of Bath creates a brilliant atmosphere and with so many people taking part, it is impossible not to make friends. The bond between the players is made obvious come the end of the season, as the final event takes place – the “Old Boys” game. This is a chance for Bath alumni to return to the team, as an alumni team takes

on the current Bees team. As well as a hard fought game, usually in the best weather of the season, the event includes another couple of nights out, and allows current players to meet some of the club’s “founding fathers”. The club continues to improve its relationship with the University’s Cheerleaders, who support the team on game days, as well as combine on several occasions for joint socials. The Bath team has always been a successful one, and with the work of coaches, players and friends it will only get stronger. It epitomises the extra-curricular aspect of university life, as people are brought together through a common interest and enjoy an experience that only the university could provide.

contribute in each game allowing new players to instantly get involved whether they start or not. The team competes in a nationwide league against 43 other universities. There are eight competitive games each season followed by playoffs with the nation’s two best sides meeting in the league’s equivalent of the Superbowl, “the College Bowl”. The club owes much to the coaches who, led by Head Coach Pat Snooks show unrivalled devotion toward the improvement of players and the team as a whole. The squad trains twice weekly, on Wednesday and Sunday. American Football has never been considered mainstream outside of the USA, but is becoming increasingly popular throughout the United


Jose Mourinho’s had enough-ski of Chelski

Marcus Haydon on the concluding chapter of the “Special One’s” tenure in West London SO THE self proclaimed ‘Special One’ has gone and no matter which way you look at the goings on at Stamford Bridge, you can’t help but feel like they have shot themselves in the foot. We can only speculate as to what caused the breakdown in the relationship between Jose Mourinho and Roman Abramovich but it’s a fire that Chelsea chief executive Peter Kenyon seems to have been fighting for some time. Fractious tones have been emanating from The Bridge for many months now and fundamentally it seems to have been caused by a contrast in footballing philosophies between the two men. It was Shevchenko’s transfer from AC Milan which ignited much of the animosity. The title successes of 2005 and 2006 were built on a set of players who were brought in with clearly defined roles in the team, and the prerequisite tireless work ethic. However, as Chelsea became more successful, Abramovich was keen to raise the profile of the club across the globe, and actively looked to attract superstars in attempt to create a team of ‘Galacticos’.

The captures of Michael Ballack and Andrey Shevchenko went against everything that Chelsea had done under Mourinho. Although he had spent horrifically large fees on Drogba and Essien, these were players who were coming to better themselves. Both also came into clearly defined roles within the team and have become vital cogs in the Chelsea mechanism. Ballack and Shevchenko, it seems however, were transfers very much instigated by Abramovich, with many attributing the capture of Shevchenko entirely to the Russian owner. So when Mourinho went to the board in January looking for reinforcements to his forward line, he was merely told to utilise his £30 million pound striker correctly and to get the best out of him. However, ‘using him correctly’ would have involved removing him from his deeper lying role and making him the focal point of the attack, the positioned taken by free-scoring Drogba. This was never likely to happen and Abramovich became frustrated at the treatment of ‘his’ signing.

It appears then that Mourinho wasn’t ousted because of a poor start to the season but more because of his refusal to be walked all over by the clubs hierarchy. It’s a puzzling situation when you consider that Abramovich was spending £5 million

a year for Mourinho to run his team when all he really wanted was a puppet. I can’t think of any examples where a club has been successful when a chairman has such strong tendencies to get involved in playing matters, yet despite this Abramovich can’t

seem to help himself. A number of reports suggest that he was present in the dressing room after the 1-1 draw with Rosenborg to give the players some advice as to how they may have been better off playing. It’s no surprise then that Avram Grant has been installed as the new manager; a close friend of the Russian owner, Grant is likely be far more obedient to Abramovich’s wishes. Whilst the measure looks only to be a short-term one, you do wonder what high-profile manager that Chelsea may look to recruit would really put up with Abramovich meddling in team matters. It seems unlikely that Chelsea will struggle with the abundance of talent that they have at their disposal. However, Mourinho’s exit will have done little to strengthen relations between the players and those running the club - a potential problem when it comes to extending the contracts of key players. As for Mourinho himself, he may insist that his next job will be on the continent but I sincerely doubt it’s the last we will see of ‘The Special One’ on our shores.

sport impact

Opening of new £1m Sports Science Lab: Page 22

Covering the issues that matter to students

All the Fun of the Fair!

A guide to the Sports Fair 2007: 2nd October 4-7pm SPORTS CLUBS are the heart of sport at the University - in 2006-07 over one third of students (around a half of the students based in Bath) had at least one club membership, with many having two or more. Every club caters for any ability, so whether you want to learn something new or continue to improve your national domination in a sport, you’re at the right Uni! The variety in the clubs is incredible, covering all the normal field and team sports, outdoor sports, racket sports and watersports. There’s no other time when all the clubs will be in one place at one time for you to browse, so make sure you don’t miss the fair! THE WELLNESS/FITNESS programme is a range of sports sessions and classes aimed at anyone from occasional participants to committed team members. Throughout the year the programme will include circuit sessions, aerobics, flexibility training and other activities, as well as sportsrelated classes such as nutrition WHERE’S WALLY: Last Year’s Sports Fair THE ANNUAL Sports Association Fair is the official start to the sporting year at Bath! Following the Freshers’ Week events, sport regains its control of the Founders Sports Hall, and we use it to give everyone the chance to find out absolutely anything about sport here in Bath. The Sports Association (SA) will have stands explaining all of its central programmes such as Intramurals and the Rec Club, with the people who run them on hand. The Sports Department will also be there, with information on CoachBase, the STV Gym, and their ‘Zambia Project’. Every single one of the 48 sports clubs will also have a stand, with their committees, captains and members there to tell you anything you want to know about. With clubs from Archery to Latin Dancing and Skydiving to Table Tennis, there should be something there that catches your eye. Many clubs will be running demonstrations in

the middle of the hall so you can see exactly what it is they get up to. The martial arts clubs will be showing off various manoeuvres, as will Latin and Ballroom Dance, Lacrosse, Gymnastics and many more! Many clubs will have ways to get involved on their stands, including a Darts competition and both Netball and Basketball are holding shootouts. If you think you’ve got what it takes you can test your skill at the Floorball club’s stand, where they’ll have a light gate set up to measure just how fast you can flick a ball. The gliding club are (rather impressively) bringing a glider along to show off, and the Sailing club hope to have their one of their brand new fleet in the hall, not to mention a sailing simulator at their stand. So whether you’re already joined up to the Sports Association and a club, or you have no idea what sport you want to do, get along to the Founders Sports Hall on Tuesday between 4pm and 7pm and we’re sure you’ll find something of interest!

THE REC Club has a huge variety of equipment, available for any SA member to loan out free of charge. Currently the inventory includes tents and wetsuits available by booking, and rackets, bats and balls etc. for instant hire. This service is a great way to access otherwise expensive equipment, to take advantage of the free facilities we are so lucky to have here. ANYONE WHO joined the Sports Association on or before Friday 28th September will be able to collect their membership card, T-shirt and handbook at the Sports Fair. Just bring along some photo ID and come to the SA stand. Joiners who did so after this date will need to collect from the SA office two working days after the transaction. All memberships are being handled online, and we encourage you to join up as soon as possible to ensure you don’t miss any communications from the club committees or any of the notto-be-missed start of year socials!


Sports Club of the Year 2007 American Football

One-Hundred And Eiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighty!!! Introducing The University of Bath’s newest sports club: P.U.B. Sports. Turn to page 22.


Monday 1st October 2007 Volume 9 Issue 2 Ents will tear us apart - Joy Division special Fancy a bit of bully? Well now yo...