Page 1

by Amy von Harrington


We all fall from someone’s genitals.


He was the first of his kind, until the others.

Next: on fire


I can’t stop now, I’m on fire!

9


Sizzler puddin bar!

10

Next Next:page: Improbability


Improbability plagued their birthday plans.


I poop glitter.

16

Next Next:page: Dexter


Dexter dos as he likes.


I decided that after graduation, I would apply to some cosmetology programs & if that didn’t work out I could move to the big city & dance.


¿Who’s bringin’ the fiesta? ¿Who, me?

23

Next page: Next: he couldn’t


Nick couldn’t wait a whole year.

24

Next page:


That’s Mr. Streaky bacon to you.

26

Next page:


So you bitches

28


think you own this city?


2/3 cup katsup 1/4 lb monolo.

32

Next page: Next: mind/body


My mind’s telling me no but my body, my body’s telling me yes.

35

Next Next:page: the rest


Today is the first day of the rest of your life!

36


It totally fills me up.

(Let them eat catsup, pt. II) 38


Well, I guess your front butt will have to do.


Christian’s memory was hazy that day.


Country clubbin’.

44

Next Next:page: because


Douglas, why?

47


48


I live for chocolate milk- mayonnaise lives for me.


Mashed is as mashed does.

52

Next page:


Next: Power


The greatest drug is power.

55


It’s just (a) relative.


Perhaps $500 does seem reasonable.

58

Next Next:page: it’s gonna


Who needs training wheels when it’s gonna fall out anyway?

60

Next page:


Good Day Sunshine is just a song. A sad sad song.

63


64


But you promised.


They share the front of their first names- Reynold & Reynelda Mo’shell.

68


Eyes are for pigs.


Forever doesn’t (always) last that long.

73

Next Next:page: lula


My uncle says that eating boogers is good for me. (an ode to Talula)

74


To save a nisse’s life please send money to Save the Little Guys for Later Fund 54 Welton Rd. Westport CT08901


When you find me on your pillow, don’t.

78


One time I dreamt of foie gras.

81

Next Next:page: who?


Wait, who challenged us to a duel?

82


Balls will be balls.

85


Why, Mary, that’s a girl’s name!

87

Next Next:page: a lesson


Bubba learned the word “fink” that day.

88

Next page:


Today will be diff. Maybe.


The truck is coming for me. My hat is ready. Love you, Danmark.

92

Next page:


We will make

96


a feast of your face.


With a little leprechaun anything's possible.

99

Next Next:page: they may


If you expect great things from people, sometimes they may surprise you.

101

Next page:


Shucks, I thought they would pass. Turns out it’s crabs.

102


My left hand contains an L. Actually, so does my other one.

106

Next Next:page: OG


An officer and a gentleman.


It had been years since Donny last saw Dawn.

110


Terri couldn’t figure out how to run against the sun.


113


114


Finally, Santa came early this year. Twice.

115


If will is hard enough, then will will will itself!


Desmond had so many wonders about Nancy.

119

Next: balls


Swedish balls ain't always from the factory.

120


Hams Ahoy!

122


Back in the olden days not everyone had a face.

125

Next: A lot


126


3/4c Creamed Egg Buns 2/5Tb Veal from Tuna Sauce 1tb Senegalese Soufflé 7/8L Corned Chuck Roast with Duckling Tapénade 1-2 Stuffed Ribs on a Caper 20 Fondue Franks 1/8c Duchess of Lamb Napoleon Meat Pie Wienered Beef with Lobster 13/14tb Old-fashioned Bologna-Bean Bunwiches 3tb Fostered Fruit Mold Fingers 1,000 Chocolate Irresistibles 4/9mL Braised Blood-sausage Jubilee 2 Hamwiches 1Tb Glazed Pork Brain Balls 1Tb Budín de Navidad (Christmas Pudding- Mexico) 12 Swede Danish Meatballs 1/2 Butter Broiled Just-for-the-Halibut Steak 4/5c Deep South Ham and Oriental Yak Platter a Perfection Corndog Loaf Supreme 6 Layer Meat Loaf Ring 1/0L Salmon Latkes in Space 4c Cubed Skate Puffs 1pkg Instant Ham Mousse 1sqd Tarragon Chicken Communists Buckaroo Stew Skillet to taste 495-Broil* Combine all ingredients and it bakes itself. Serves a lot.


“We got a lot of water to waste!� -The Future (an ode to Jessica Handsome)

130


Not in front of the children!

133


134


You have touched me. I have grown.


a hand is attached to a ripped arm,

140


and feet are shoved up into shadowed pants in just the right places. at first glance, perhaps, it looks like a photo, which is a moment captured. but turns out it's just a drawing- which is more so a memento constructed. the cold twilight is fleeting. in the distance, glitter is aflaming. the heat sensation ebbs and flows. look far enough into the distance and there's that same smiling hand, waving, gesturing an admission of sorts. the karaoke of truth becomes merely a matter of waiting in turn. this is a token of love from your unakin uncle. do it for the kids of the world.

Acknowledgements: Special Thank You for title inspirations: Jessica Hansen, Chazz Petersen, Whitney Farland, Macko Mel Shimkovitz, Rosemary Sheridan, & Paul Marlow. Other Special Thank Yous (in alphabetical order): the Ahearns, Allissha Loebig, Alex Galan, Anneke Assen, Arizona, the Barkans, Bas Morsch, Bobbi Brock, Brica Wilcox, Britta van Dun, Capricious Collective, Carrie Sweet, Caryl Flinn, Charles Renfro, Christy Harrington, the Convertinos, Crystol Ogram, Dante Diloreto, Diane Weiner, Don Villarreal, Eli Ogburn, the Farlands(??), the Gelbs, Gloria Pedemonte, the Harringtons, Heather Millstone, Heike Ander, the Heldens, James Di Giovanna, the Isreals, Jeff Baron, Jelle Kuiper, Jessica Gysel and GLU, Julie Borden, (the late great) Kathleen Powers, Karen Oller, Lacy Lancaster Perez, Lucy Raven, Matthew Sandager, Melanie Bonajo, Miranda Joseph, the Montoyas, the Muhlempohs, Olivia Kim, Paul Graham, Paul Monolow, Sabrina DuprĂŠ, Sam Falls, Senami d'Alamida, Sophie MĂśrner, the Spriggs, Stuart Hawkins, Traci Sym, Volker Zander, & the Williams. All artwork copyright Amy von Harrington Photography by Brica Wilcox Graphic design by Bas Morsch Edited by Rosemary Sheridan & Amy von Harrington Produced by Rosemary Sheridan Printing by Veenman drukkers, Rotterdam


(heart) your uncle  

An art book by Amy von Harrington

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