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BANG! 5 NOVEMBER 10, 2010

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JAKE LEICHT, Left Half


Missives from the Bangery.

Volume I, number 5 BANGIN' IT OUT EVERY OTHER HUMPDAY

CONTENT. NEWS EATS ARTS FASHION MUSIC HOROSCOPES MEMORIES

3 6 8 11 13 15 16

Hello November. I’m sure glad the hubbub of Halloween has passed (by the way, no one took us up on our Halloween challenge. You were gonna get a great prize. Just sayin’) Thanks to everyone who came out to rock our Haunted Haus Party. It went off in true Bang! style. Now it’s time to start the slowing down, and spending more time inside reading Bang! and perusing the fine ‘zines you can find around town. Time to think about planning cool stuff to gift this coming holiday season. We’re big fans of making it big and making it yourself. Be sure to check out this issue’s fun DIY column. My first-grader is happy to make presents to bring her friends for their birthdays. I am thrilled when she chooses drawing comics over watching cartoons. This week, she came home from school telling me her assignment was to learn how to be true to people. Pretty heavy homework for a seven-year-old. So, when I heard the news about the district closing six schools, it made me wonder how our children are going to learn how to be good citizens. How to be true to people. It seems that without that knowledge, we are raising them to be criminals, destined to go straight to the prisons that we ARE giving money to. Some might argue that morality should be coming from the parents, but any parent of young children can attest to the fact that our children never want to listen to us. They WILL listen to teachers, mentors and peers. Try your own homework this week. Be true to yourself. Be true to others. Bronwynn Questions? Comments? Hate-mail? Write to us! EDITOR@BANGPAPER.COM

BANG! GANG MANAGING EDITOR

ART DIRECTOR

ARTS EDITOR

NEWS EDITOR

BRONWYNN MANAOIS

STEVEN WEEKS

SEAN ÄABERG

DANTE ZÚÑIGA-WEST

MUSIC EDITOR

ARTHUR CONRAD SALES AND MARKETING

MARK SULLIVAN

CONTRIBUTORS

KATIE ÄABERG, ALLISON DITSON, COLLIN GERBER, AMELIA HART, MEGAN HINKEL, JOSIAH MANKOFSKY, FRED X. MERTZ, RYAn nYburg, RICHARD D. OWENS, MIKE SEAGER,tim shaw, AARON SULLIVAN, TIM SULLIVAN, JASUN WELLMAN BANG PAPER 385 W. 2nd Ave. Eugene, OR 97401

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ADVERTISING INFORMATION ads@bangpaper.com (541) 337-3926 GENERAL INQUIRIES editor@bangpaper.com BANG! is proudly delivered by CETMA Cargo Bikes visit www.cetmacargo.com Printed by Western Oregon Web Press, Albany, OR © 2010 BANG Paper, LLC. The content herein may not be reprinted in part or in whole without the written consent of the publisher. Thank you.

DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS •Not sure if anyone noticed, but the date was wrong on the cover of the last issue. •Apologies to our new film critic, Ryan Nyburg for listing your last name as Newberg in the contributors. We’re usually not so culturally insensitive. •We had every intention to correct the T.I./T Pain bit in the news briefs. T Pain uses auto-tune, not T.I.. T.I. is just another rapper gone bad. Or is that bad gone rapper? Our apologies to our KDUK-listening constituent. •To anyone out there that might actually read the Oregon Voice—they did an interview with us. They made us sound like jerks. Especially concerning the Weekly. We’re not really jerks. •While we’re on the subject of the Weekly—it has been pointed out to us that there are establishments that are using our paper to cover theirs. Although some of you out there might have certain, um, feelings concerning the Weekly, we would like to point out that we’re all adults here and this town is big enough for the both of us. So please do not disrespect them or make us look bad. At least not in public.


EVERY OTHER WEDNESDAY NEWS BRIEFS

return of the Commissioner’s Trophy to the west coast for the first time since the LA-Anaheim Angels won the Fall Classic in 2002. Giants fans in the City of St. Francis apparently left their hearts (and heads) somewhere else, as celebration turned to random destruction with reports of broken windows, burning MUNI buses, and overturned autos. Police departments across the country volunteered to send back up, stating they haven’t had a chance to crack this many godless socialist skulls since Vietnam.

Wednesday 11/3

Friday 10/29

It’s panic at 30,000 feet, when authorities on three continents intercept multiple packages laden with explosives and bound for the U.S. aboard cargo planes. President Obama called the attempt a “credible terrorist threat,” and fear spread worldwide amid murmurs that this was the beginning of a major new alQaeda terror campaign. Federal officials are confident that responsibility for the attempted attack lies with al-Qaeda’s Yemen branch, believed to be one of the few terror groups that didn’t initially receive their funding and training from the CIA in the ‘80s.

Saturday 10/30

A new investigation by NPR revealed unsettling, though not surprising information about Arizona’s controversial fuck the Mexicans immigration bill: It was written by lobbyists for the private prison industry! You see, with marijuana decriminalization on the horizon across the country and the realization that nobody who destroyed the American economy would be going to jail, the soulless bastards who profit from the imprisonment of our fellow citizens needed to find new streams of revenue (read: new ways to put people in jail). The industry’s lobbying group, the Corrections Corporation of America, believes that immigrant detention is their next big market, with internal reports showing that executives expect to bring in “a significant portion of our revenues” from Immigrations and Customs Enforcement. After the drafting of the bill and its introduction into the Arizona legislature, it immediately received thirty-six co-sponsors, thirty of whom then began receiving campaign donations from the prison industry. They don’t really want to deport anybody; they just want to make more money from the hardships of others. It’s classic wild-west justice, mixed in with a generous helping of aggressive, by any means necessary capitalism. And that, boys and girls, is how a bill becomes a law.

Monday 11/1

The San Francisco Giants are crowned World Series champs today, taking the best of 7 series in 5 from the “I guess they really don’t do things bigger in Texas” Rangers. The triumph marked the first championship in fifty-six years for the Giants, the first ever since the team moved from New York in 1958, and a

gin, and almost 60% of total election spending this year came from undisclosed sources (i.e. the rich and the powerful). And they did it all thanks to the help of the Republican base, er… the Tea Party, a group of people who somehow believe that the party that oversaw two of the greatest increases in government spending and debt (thanks Reagan and Dubya!) is best suited to rein in excessive government spending and debt. For those of you wondering what’s in store for us in this new era of governance by stalemate, well, the budget-crunching spendthrifts in the GOP want to give the above mentioned rich and powerful billions of dollars in tax cuts, to be paid for with money previously destined for such wasteful, frivolous expenditures as schools, roads, police and fire departments, infrastructure upgrades, scientific research, environmental preservation, Social Security, Medicare, arts funding, and anything else that might provide for the general welfare and the common good.

Tuesday 11/2

Fox News, along with a handful of bankers and hedge fund managers, finally get a big return on their investments when America decides that it doesn’t really want a functioning government and hands the keys of power back to the zealots who drove the country over the goddamn cliff in the first place. The GOP cleaned up coast-to-coast, decisively recapturing the House, winnowing away at the Democratic majority in the Senate, and picking up governorships and state legislatures nationwide. Interestingly enough, in an election that seemed to be about Americans fed up with incompetent leaders who favor the rich and powerful, it was the massive amounts of money spent by the rich and powerful that turned a nice ten-footer into a tidal wave. In the seventy-four federal contests where power changed hands (all but three of which flipped from blue to red), it was outside, usually anonymous, money that tipped the balance, with fifty-eight of those races going to the candidate who received the most third-party cash in their favor. The bulk of the dough came from just ten powerful interest groups, who spent in favor of the GOP by a more than 2 to 1 mar-

Inspired by the results of yesterday’s elections, the Federal Reserve did its best Tea Party impression and announced plans to help further revive the economy by giving a bunch of free money to the people who tanked it in the first place. Over the next 8 months, the Fed will be buying up boatloads of U.S. government debt (about $900 billion worth), but will announce its specific purchase plans well ahead of time, allowing wealthy investors on Wall Street to buy those assets first, so that they can then sell them to said Fed at a steep profit. These same companies then take all that money and sit on it, with about $1 trillion in (our) cash currently being hoarded by U.S. companies, instead of being injected into the economy like it’s supposed to be. On top of all of this, the 2nd quarter of 2010 saw profits in the S&P 500 up 38% from the same time a year ago, making it corporate America’s sixth highest quarterly profit ever. And yesterday we just voted in a bunch of people who have and will fight tooth and nail against any attempt to stop the flow of this massive transfer of wealth. The Tea Party is half right when they say we need a revolution—but you don’t depose King Louis XVI only to turn around and replace him with Marie Antoinette. Because then that’s not tea yer drinking, it’s Kool-Aid.

self, “How does this affect me?” imagine for a moment that your boss decides to pony up the dough to cover the relatively cheap sticker price of a thousand bucks. No word yet on any outcry from privacy advocates, though we here at The Bangery are somewhat embarrassed that we have to offer the common sense advice of, “If you don’t want personal information to be ripe for public cherry picking, then don’t put personal information on the internet, you dunny sack.”

Friday 11/5

Setting the tone for the final two years of President Obama’s term, conservative critics forget to take their medicine and continue to just make a bunch of shit up. The latest “uproar” centers on Obama’s trip to India and the out-of-nowhere claim that the visit will cost American taxpayers upwards of $200 million per day, or about $10 million more than the daily costs of the war in Afghanistan. Apparently, (though these figures have no basis in fact or reality) there will be two-thousand people accompanying the President, requiring eight hundred and seventy 5-star hotel rooms, and thirty-four U.S. warships (about 10% of the entire naval fleet) will be stationed off the coast of Mumbai for security reasons, a claim the Pentagon referred to as “absolutely absurd.” BANG! initially laughed off the reports, but further investigation revealed shocking details and the discovery that the wild allegations are, in fact, true. The entire two-thousand-person entourage is really made up of Obama’s secret Muslim army, set to board the previously mentioned warships to Obama’s homeland in Indonesia (or Kenya, depending on who you talk to.) Upon arrival, Obama will finally reveal himself as the second coming of the Prophet Mohammed, sparking a global Muslim uprising that will finally settle those pesky Crusades once and for all. Infidels beware!

Thursday 11/4

In a move that makes the Gravediggaz seem prophetic, there’s nowhere to run to, and there’s nowhere to hide, as tech giant Cisco Systems released new software today that’s monitors and streamlines the piles of social networking information that’s currently scattered all over the (very public) world wide web. The program, dubbed “SocialMiner,” is capable of tracking status updates, forum posts, blog entries, and all the rest of the inane nonsense that the kids are so caught up in these days. The intent of the software is to allow businesses to accumulate information about consumer preferences and opinions. But, then again the intent of nitrous cartridges is to make whipped cream, you don’t really see that happening much now, do you? Predictably, the U.S. government has gotten in on the act, probably making George Orwell puke all over his grave by using similar software to monitor the activity of protestors, and the Secret Service conducted major sweeps during President Obama’s inauguration, sifting through data in search of potential threats. If you, dear reader, are sitting there asking your-

Saturday 11/6

The estate of Michael Jackson has found another way to milk the legacy of the deceased Moonwalker, as tickets go on sale today for the latest Cirque du Soleil production, the exclusively North American, poorly named “Immortal World Tour,” based on the music and dancing of the late King of Pop. Show director Jamie King has been working on the show for the last five months, meeting with members of the Jackson family and paying a visit to the infamous Neverland Ranch as part of his efforts to thoroughly research Jacko’s life. As of press time, however, reports have surfaced of a possible delay in the opening of the show, as organizers appear to be having trouble securing work permits for the dozens of children involved in the production. 

KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR THE TRUTH! Contact us with news tips and classified briefings, local and international. editor@bangpaper.com NOVEMBER 10, 2010 • BANG!

3


Sing, Muse! by MOTO

S

hakespeare was wrong. Rather, we would be wrong to conclude from Romeo's romantic utterance that the name of a thing cannot diminish its sweetness. Take, for example, the Weekly's tragically branded Next Big Thing. That the first-crowned Next Big Thing promptly disbanded was ominous commentary on the contest, though the flaw inherent to it is plain in the name itself. Pretense to greatness is a kiss of death, even to the great. Just ask Jesus. It is one thing to host a competition and something else to pretend the results of that competition determine cultural impact. Beginning with the first pharaohs, priests and publishers have been prone to overestimating the efficacy of their star-making machinery. Given a sufficient supply of credulous consumers, a delusion of grandeur can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Indeed, the art of the marketer is to ape the ordination of Heaven to ape, that is, the providential synchronicity of real life. From the cynical perspective, the prophetic is nothing more than the well sold. Given this perspective, it's easy to understand the logic behind the pretense. But what place does such crass marketing have in an alternative paper that otherwise presents itself as an advocate of the common good? The commoditization of creativity is, of course, inherent to the music industry. Still, as with any economic endeavor, this process of objectification should not be done—though it generally is - in such a way as to damage the underlying ecology upon which it depends. Golden eggs require geese, and geese need appropriate habitat. Whereas the Weekly can only pretend to the ability to make a star, it has in actual fact the ability to cultivate the sort of habitat within which genuine creativity might flourish. Unfortunately, it has chosen— no doubt with good intentions if poor understanding—to adopt the destructive extraction mentality of the larger economy, within which music is a sort of gateway drug to a lifestyle of narcissistic consumerism. Sell the music and the music sells everything else. Thus the primary value, and so the standard of measure, of the Next Big Thing is as a prop in the marketing of other things. Relative to this, it is telling that for its final phase the Weekly simply dropped the idea, spelled out in the original tagline, that their search was for a “hit single” and framed it instead as a competition between artists. The original framing served to get people to enter their songs, though the search all along was for an artist to commodify. Rather than cultivate creativity and community, which would have been both possible and worthwhile, the Weekly aimed to trawl the local scene in search of a cash cow. Aye, madam, it is common. Yet this doesn't make it urbane or sophisticated, but pathetically provincial. Real communities make themselves for themselves, in accord with fundamental principles of human fellowship; whereas hapless peasants violate these principles in seeking to fashion themselves into the instruments of others. Weekly editors, you could do some real good for this town, but  you've got to change your tune. 4

BANG! • NOVEMBER 10, 2010

news from the

SKAGWAY POLICE BLOTTER

from the October 29 issue monday 10.4

A set of keys was found near Yakutania Point and brought to the police department.

tuesday 10.5

Fire personnel responded to an EWS fire alarm. The alarm was set off by a smoke detector but was false.

wednesday 10.6

monday 10.12

Report of a black bear in town.

tuesday 10.13

Officers responded to a report of a black bear by the Westmark. The bear was climbing up the outside wall and had damaged a window in the process. The bear was hazed with a rubber bullet.

wednesday 10.14

A public works employee reported that someone had tried to force the door open at the dumpster shed and damaged it.

Another bear on the Dyea Rd. and one on the Klondike close to town.

thursday 10.7

A man reported that he had a brown bear on his porch in the early morning hours.

friday 10.8

A large brown bear was seen near the Municipal Offices.

saturday 10.9

A man reported his bicycle stolen.

A woman called and reported that someone stole her dog’s bark collar. There were two reports of a small black bear being seen in town. A woman reported that there was a cat trapped in the walls at her house. It had wandered in and her cat roughed it up. The cat was hiding and would not come out. After a while she managed to get the cat out and to its home.

saturday 10.10

A man reported a large bear near 10th and Broadway.

sunday 10.11

A man reported that his parked vehicle was hit by another unknown vehicle.

thursday 10.15

friday 10.16

tuesday 10.20 friday 10.23

Fire personnel responded to a fire alarm downtown. It was determined false and had been set off by someone pulling the alarm switch.

The above is an abbreviated Police Blotter. To read the entire blotter in every issue, including arrests and court reports, you must subscribe to The Skagway News. For out of town delivery via second class mail, please send a check for $35 to Skagway News, Box 498, Skagway, AK 99840, or call 907-983-2354 with a credit card. They take Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express cards.

by Steven Weeks

I spend too many hours on the roads of Eugene, driving in endless circles for a living, working two jobs—one in food service and another in the newspaper business. A lot happens out there.

I

nstead of paying attention to where I am going, I often obsess over cars’ license plates. I swear there is some kind of twisted black magic behind those seemingly random letters and numbers. ODOT has a master plan, I know it, and I will figure it out. Let’s start with the basics. Oregon plates come in two varieties (excepting personalized plates): 1) letters before numbers and 2) numbers before letters. If the letters come first, they will start with a letter at the end of the alphabet—specifically, U through Z. If the letters come last, they will start with earlier letters—A through E. Yeah—who cares? My concern is why so many Oregon plates have the letters starting with E! (me included: ETX). My even more serious concern is why so many cars in this town have plates that read EUG! Is this mere coincidence? Just by chance an alarming amount of automobiles in Eugene have EUG plates? I think not. It feels like some cruel joke to me—some sick plot forged by the incredibly bored DMV employees. Do they think it’s cute to put all the EUG plates in Eugene? God help all those poor souls stuck

with the EUG everywhere they go, like a cattle brand from our quaint little town. They venture beyond city limits, and they must be immediately spotted, for better or worse—well, if the Heart in Oregon or Obama ’08 stickers didn’t give it away already. Wouldn’t it make sense to reserve EUG for all of the vans and shuttle buses en route to the airport, up and down Highway 99, because EUG is where they’re going?! With this format, we will never see those fine three letter words that start with F through T. That leaves out such fun words as FAT, SEX, HUM, POT, LIK, RUM, or TUF. Work would sure be a lot more enjoyable if there were more random words out there driving around. I’d be spinning tales and thinking about all sorts of stupid things, letting my mind wander, while still driving like a pro, of course. OK, I still do these things. I’m on to that ODOT conspiracy. Those EUGers are probably some kind of agents of doom—probably in cahoots with those evil white vans that are taking over. Watch out. 


by MIKE SEAGER

ASk THE BIkER I

had an interesting interaction with a driver a few weeks ago at the intersection of the Fern Ridge Bike Path and City View St., where the path has a grade level street crossing and also switches sides of the river. It raised the question:

EXaCtly Who has thE Right-oF-Way WhEn thE BiKE Path CRossEs thE RoaD With a CRossWalK, thE BiKER oR thE DRivER?

In practice, whoever has the right-of-way at these crossings really doesn’t matter. The WBE-recommended method for handling these crossings on a bike is to slow down, make eye contact with any approaching drivers, and then do whatever the driver expects you to do—either cross or stop. Obviously if they stop, you go, and if they go, then you stop. This method keeps everyone alive and happy, and has served me well for years—but what does the law say? I’d like to begin by sharing my story, which illustrates why this is an important question. I was approaching the intersection on bike at the same time as a woman driving a minivan. We both slowed down as we neared the intersection. The woman gave a short “chirp” honk, making eye contact with me when I was about 10-15 feet away from the intersection, which I interpreted as a friendly “you can go” honk. In response I nodded, smiled, and entered the intersection. Then she started honking in an angry fashion and threw up her hands in disgust. I realized she hadn’t meant to honk me through, but honked because she didn’t think I was going to stop at the crosswalk. Another cyclist was behind me, and he yelled at her, “It’s a crosswalk, you have to yield!” What a driver sees as they approach the crossings She was pretty pissed, but I knew that this was just a misunderstanding and I wanted her to stop shooting angry mind bullets at me. I finished crossing the road and river and stopped at the re-entrance to the path hoping that she’d stop too and we could talk. The cyclist behind me continued on, which was probably a good thing, but the driver pulled her van up next to me. She jumped out and yelled,” Didn’t you see the yield sign you have?” I replied, “Yes, I was going to stop, but I thought you honked me through.” She wasn’t ready to listen to me and went on a tirade about how I scared her to death and how she thought she was going

to kill me. I didn’t really get that part since she honked before I even got near to the intersection and had already slowed to less than 10 mph. I just smiled and kept repeating,” I understand, I’m sorry, I was going to stop but I thought you honked me through.” Eventually she listened, said “Oh”, gave me a weak smile, and then got back in her van and drove away. In retrospect, I think she was more scared than angry, which gives us some interesting insight into some of the weird behavior we sometimes see from automobile drivers. The point of my story is this: No one knows what the heck to do or expect at these crossings. That is why it doesn’t actually matter what the law is, because nobody knows it, anyway. The best practice is to do whatever the drivers expect you to do at these crossings (if you can figure that out). That being said, let’s figure out the legal answer anyway! I asked Eugene Bicycle and Pedestrian Coordinator Lee Shoemaker, Eugene Transportation Planner David Roth, and Portland Bicycle Lawyer Ray Thomas what the law says about these crossings. Thomas responded: This is an apple and oranges dilemma. The apple is that a crosswalk creates right of way for pedestrians per ORS 811.028. The orange is that the “bike path” contains “yield” signs but they contradict the crosswalk message. So, you have two conflicting signs that don’t integrate with each other legally or logically. I guess one could argue a bike must yield, but if the rider dismounted then the biker is a pedestrian and cars must yield. The signage goes in two different directions without providing any guidance whatsoever about who does what. A solution would be to say “bicyclists yield,” but that is a little crude and confusing and if the biker put a foot on the ground then they are a pedestrian because the vehicle code defines pedestrian as someone “afoot” or in a wheelchair. Another wrinkle is that “multi-use path” is not defined in the Oregon Vehicle Code and the traffic laws therefore do not apply to these new creatures; instead “due care” creates the standard, vague as it is. Lee Shoemaker’s response adds to the an-

swer: It’s not an intersection but a mid-block crossing. We mark the crosswalk so pedestrians can have the right of way. You get the right of way by stepping into the street, but you can’t just step into the street in front of a driver who won’t have a reasonable chance to stop. Bicyclists need to enter the crosswalk at a walking speed and then they have the same rights and responsibilities as a pedestrian. They also have to yield the right of way to pedestrians and make an audible warning when passing. The yield sign on the path is primarily for bicyclists so they don’t blast out onto the street. On the roadway, we add path-crossing signs to alert motorists as well as marking the crosswalks. I get a lot of questions about who is supposed to yield the right of way in this instance. My personal experience is that a lot of people will stop for me. I don’t think your experience is unique. I like to make eye contact but it doesn’t guarantee they are yielding. David Roth summarized what behavior is expected: Basically, if you are on a bike approaching and planning on crossing a legal crosswalk (such as those on the Fern Ridge Path), you need to slow to more/less a walking speed and then you are considered a pedestrian with the rights of a pedestrian crossing a crosswalk. It often comes down to a judgment call, but if you follow the above rules, a driver should be stopping for you. As you experienced, this is not always well understood by drivers or cyclists. Confused? You aren’t the only one. Allow me to summarize:

Legally, you aren’t supposed to be riding in crosswalks at greater than walking speed, and if you are going faster than that, you forfeit the rights provided to you by the crosswalk. If you slow down to walking speed (around 3 mph), then you are provided the rights of the crosswalk. If you put a foot down, you become a pedestrian, but this may not be necessary. Thus, regardless of the presence of a yield sign, if you are going greater than walking speed then you must yield. If you are going slower than walking speed, the car driver must yield, but only after you’ve “activated” the crosswalk. A pedestrian activates a crosswalk by stepping off the curb. The law doesn’t specify how a slow-moving cyclist would activate a crosswalk (maybe the front wheel?) To make this even more confusing, drivers don’t have to yield if you enter a crosswalk on the other side of a median/pedestrian island until you activate the crosswalk on their side. Since most (all?) of these crossings are divided, only the cars adjacent to you have to yield until you get halfway across. It is also illegal to pass a pedestrian in a crosswalk on your bike, which is something I do often. What this means, although it may go against our inner beliefs, is that every time a driver yields to us before we enter the intersection and/or when we are riding faster than walking speed, they are doing us a favor (even if they don’t know it.) Legally, they don’t have to do that. Send them a wave and a thanks! 

NOVEMBER 10, 2010 • BANG!

5


RALLY TO RESTORE HUMOR

Eugene gathers to support Stewart and Colbert

FEED ME, EUGENE!

local eats

with Meg

an Hinkel

by Jasun “Plaedo” Wellman

I

was once told there are two ways that we can cope with the world. Either we can look at the world as a tragedy or as a comedy. Essentially we can laugh or cry. Now, when I turn on the televised news or when I read a newspaper, go online, or listen to talk radio, I'm usually informed of the countless reasons to take the tragic perspective. Day after day, the news keeps coming, in all of it's grand absurdity and at a dizzying pace that is capable of hypnotizing the noblest citizen into a state of paranoia and fear. The news is capable of overloading us with information about terrorist surges in Afghanistan and bombs blasted in Baghdad. Of how that godless communist Chinese empire is going to economically crush America. On the news we can learn about every crime in our home city but nothing about the structural causes of crime. Every night and every day, more stories. Obama is a socialist. The Tea Partiers are going to shrink Big Brother down to the size of the little guy. The Tea Partiers are gun-toting rednecks that will stomp on your head if you disagree with them. The globe is warming, sea levels are rising. We need to change our lifestyle. If we change our lifestyles we will lose our jobs. Those illegal immigrants are taking our jobs. We need the government to create jobs. Cut Government spending. The na-

FOOD FALLING FROM TREES

An acorn afternoon with ReWild Eugene

R

rally 220,000 people stormed Cozmic Pizza to freak out the norms

at the absurdities. This accounts for much of the popularity and potency found in comedic sources of the news such as The Onion or, (shameless self-promotion) the news briefs in BANG!, this is also why The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are enduringly popular. This comedic perspective was the impetus

...we prefer to laugh at the absurdities... tional deficit is obese. Learn how to lose wait. Look pretty just like 'what's her name' the latest greatest model/actress/woman-who'sfamous-because-of-her-bra-cup size. And did you hear about her latest scandal? The stories keep coming, so fast that we forget about giant oil spills, and earthquakes, events that in other ages would have defined the year or generation but in today’s world these events merely get the same fifteen minutes in the spotlight treatment we give to our “celebrities.” This is an interesting time in history. It is a time of great change. Political borders and sociological identities are shifting. Economic hardship, to some degree, is affecting most of the world's people. Technological breakthroughs are happening daily and making the world smaller. Ecological destruction is widespread, and climate change (regardless whether man-made or not) is barely debatable. It is only natural that many people are afraid. Glenn Beck, to many, gives voice to the tragic perspective of reality exemplified by his fearfilled tearful temper tantrums on air. In frightening times of change, old values can feel comforting. Maybe this is why Glenn Beck and his like-minded audience recently had a “Rally to Restore Honor.” I'm sure it was an emotionally charged event for those who attended. Many of us, however, cannot tolerate such large doses of dramatic emotion. We know that the world is a mess. We suspect that the world has always been a mess and seemingly on the verge of collapse. Therefore, we prefer to laugh 6

BANG! • NOVEMBER 10, 2010

behind the recent “Rally to Restore Sanity and/ or Fear” hosted by John Stewart and Stephen Colbert. The “Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear” happened last Saturday in Washington D.C. when roughly 220,000 people gathered together to watch, essentially, a 3 hour version of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. Citizens who could not make it to D.C. were encouraged to gather locally and participate. Eugene, a city known for it's sanity, chose to participate with it's own rally. Roughly 200 people gathered at Cozmic Pizza to watch the show. The event was simple and straightforward; we sat down together and watched the show. Afterward, there was a discussion conducted by some University of Oregon students and professors, where the remaining thirty (or so) of us listened to historical, economic, and psychological explanations of our current global situation. In the aftermath of the “Rally to Restore Sanity” I have turned on the news and the world seems as tragic and crazy as it ever was. However, I would not consider the “Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear” a failure. For on that day, hundreds of thousands of people gathered together and laughed. I felt solidarity knowing that many other people share similar perspectives. And while the rally did not have a grandiose speech or propose a concrete plan of action to change the world, it did make us laugh. After all, humor is the medicine that feels the best—at least for me, as we cope with the turbulent times we live in. 

ecently, I attended a workshop on acorns as a food source hosted by ReWild Eugene, and realistically, I’m probably not going to integrate homemade acorn flour into my diet (until I have to), but it’s empowering to know that I could. ReWild was founded by Oregon natives Matt and Anna Bradley along with the Whole Earth Nature School, which provides experiential learning for kids through after-school programs and summer camps. Lessons are taught on school grounds or nearby to give kids a feeling of connection to their surroundings. At the root of ReWild's programs is the value of reconnecting with nature. “You can’t feel sad about losing something that you’re not connected to,” says Matt. In a society that is extraordinarily cut off from the natural world, the only tool most people, including myself, have to get what they need is money: “people know how to buy a house and food, but few know how to build their own shelters or find food.” Suffice it to say that relying solely on paper currency to get what you need can be problematic. ReWild seeks to reconnect people to the real sources of livelihood and well being, and enable people to become more self-sufficient by teaching them skills such as tracking, hunting, gathering, farming, processing, butchering, curing, survival, Permaculture, archery, and more. At the inclusive and collaborative workshop, held at the cozy Maitreya Ecovillage straw bale, guest facilitators Diane Gardner and Finn Po shared some history and lore surrounding the Mighty Oak, as well as medicinal and utilitarian uses for oak wood, bark and leaves, and also indigenous methods of gathering and preparing acorns.

Mmm... acorns. Not exactly something I crave when I’m jonesing for dinner. However, eating acorns can be a very practical option for many people—one oak tree can produce 300 pounds of acorns per season (that’s a lot of food). Acorns are highly nutritious to begin with, and ‘wild’ harvested foods always have more nutrients than cultivated crops – in the process of defending themselves against pests, disease and other traumas, plants produce chemicals which in turn are good for human health. And currently, acorns are FREE. Processing and preparing acorns is slightly time- and labor-intensive, but overall very simple. Basically, you gather acorns, dry them, grind them, soak the hell out of them, and then dry them again. Expertise and fancy equipment are not required—you just need the willingness to learn the basics, to experiment, and to creatively utilize and jury-rig whatever you have on hand or can find at BRING Recycling. Here’s a short list of some of the tools you can use to get started: blenders, nut crackers, your teeth, #12 meat grinders, Vitamix blenders, screens, pots, pans, slutty mesh shirts, wooden boards, barrels, gutters, woodstoves, sheets, pillowcases, light bulbs, coffee grinders, hairdryers, and toilet tanks. The follow-up acorn class will be held Sunday, November 14th at Maitreya’s outdoor kitchen, corner of Broadway and Almaden, and will focus on indigenous methods of preparing acorns and some work shopping with other ways to prepare this healthy and  free food. A schedule of classes can be found at ReWild.com


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NOVEMBER 10, 2010 • BANG!

7


BANG! BANG! NEWSPAPER CLUB

MARKETIN

MANA GING

ď ž

EDITO

R, Bron wyn

n Man ao

is

n Mark Sulliva G & SALES,

ART DIR EC

TOR, S teven W eeks

FASHIO

N EDIT ORS, A melia

Hart (l eft) an d Alli D itson

Reporters grind out the news like automatons


THE LURKER AT THE THRESHOLD by Sean Äaberg

“When the creations of a genius collide with the mind of a layman, and produce an empty sound, there is little doubt as to which is at fault.” Salvador Dalí

ARTS E DITO

R

he artist operates in between worlds. Because of their talents and uncommon brain function, they will always be different from society, because of their will to create they will be seen as a threat by many and to others they will be seen as heroes, because of the relationship between art and the exploration of reality and the yet to be real, they will be more involved with society and culture than those who flow with such rivers without thought, but see themselves as the protectors of society. In a diseased

society (like ours), the artist will be turned against society and pitted against the common person and vice versa. Anyone who does not conform to the mass will be pitted this way, instead of attaining their rightful roles as sauce & spice for the meat & vegetables of the society. I argue that no matter what, you are part of society, because that is where our relevance comes from, so being outside of society is impossible. In the diseased society, the accepted artist will be the irrelevant artist, the artist who produces unchallenging pap for the dullards & prudes. The artist must be different from society, that is why they are good, because of their idiosyncrasies & eccentricity. At the same time, without the counterpoint & relationship with the larger society, they are irrelevant. The artist exists only in relationship to the larger cultural body. The artist must be part of society, not working “against” it, but WITH IT. The public must be lured & coerced forwards, the artist must have this role & they must take and be given this role. The artist cannot be one of the flock, the artist must be a herdsman. In a diseased society which does not understand itself, complex social roles degenerate and are replaced by the law of the jungle. The non-conformist becomes unsafe in this society and the great mass becomes bland, brutal and stupid. The non-conformists then band together and hide from society, codify-

ing their behavior and losing the benefit of contrast and all dynamism. It is here in their safety they become irrelevant, and they will smell the irrelevance. Who will make the first move? Who will understand that without the artist, society is doomed? Is it the public? Or is it the artist? It must happen simultaneously. The artist must use every act of persuasion in their person to convince society of their role, and society must go along with them. Everyone will benefit from this. 

 Digging up Ducks by Sean photos by Katie Äaberg

D

onald Duck is one of the best characters ever designed. He first appeared in 1934, featured in the Disney cartoon, “The Wise Little Hen,” almost fully formed. Donald quickly became a rival to Mickey Mouse and is the third most popular cartoon character ever, after the mouse and Bugs Bunny. The U of O Duck Mascot began to resemble Donald Duck in the ‘40s, and by 1947, Disney Lawyers took notice. U of O Athletic Director, Leo Harris, was friends with a Disney cartoonist and used this “in” to garner a handshake agreement about Donald Duck and the University. Over time this became a more complicated relationship, with Disney eventually gaining control over how the “Fighting Duck” could be used in public appearances. Just recently, the “Fighting Duck” has been cleared from association with Donald and the Disney lawyers, allowing him to be his own free mascot. Katie Äaberg has documented as many of the weird permutations of the “Fighting Duck” in window paintings as she can find, the more off-model the better. I can imagine a less visionary shop manager complaining about some of the bizarre distortions of the Duck, but it is in his misrepresentation that he comes to life! NOVEMBER 10, 2010 • BANG!

9


LAST FRIDAY ART WALK

OCTOBER 29

he Last Friday Art Walk was very quiet this time around, lots of competing Halloween parties and events. THE VOYEUR had a group show featuring work from Jill Mardin, Marilyn Kent and Bill Holderfield. Mardin’s work is a fairly advanced level of what i’m calling “Woman Collage Style” which is centered around MECCA. She has a good & consistent palette, balanced layout & imagery that works well with itself. Some of the pieces feel like they’ve been encased in blood and wax, which is very romantic. However, like most of this particular genre of work, it is of a personal nature, which one must be in the mood for. As always, i’m looking for something that speaks to the NOW OF TODAY. I’m having a hard time finding it, but you’d think that because it’s all around us, it would show up at some point. Marilyn Kent showed a bunch of bright, mixed media pieces featuring bird skeletons. Kent goes for cheap, aesthetically pleasing, craft art. Inoffensive, not challenging, pleasurable items for women to buy and put on their wall at home. Within that world, she does a good job, however, when i bring my larger artistic challenge of discovery, evocation, channeling, cultural depth and place in history down onto the work, it does not stand the test. Bill Holderfield showed some well-done, gloomy black and white photographs, my favorite of which evoked the scene in the first Godzilla movie where Godzilla is hit with the oxygen-destroying bomb and seems to disintegrate. Once again, these photos could have been taken at any time period and there's plenty of terrifying things to take pictures of in Eugene. I need to see artists becoming contemporary and observing what is around them outside of the frankly boring, natural and emotional worlds. I am completely convinced that humanity finds itself in artifice. Olivejuice featured paintings by Marshelle Backes. I am of the school that believes that painting as a means unto itself is passé, that painting with the spontaneity & clarity of drawing makes the medium really shine, and that the time of 'great painters' has come and gone, hundreds of years ago. This doesn't mean it's a dead medium at all, it just means i have high standards. Backes' paintings contain an interesting emotional energy to them, but are executed naively. I was most interested in a swirling grey canvas she did. Me and Steven headed up the street towards Ninkasi, but on the way we were diverted into the backyard of the house I saw Unicron at a couple weeks ago. Through the mist and smoke emerged some kind of crazy hippie freak out band. Hippies upset me, like if i see a drum circle or smell patchouli i start feeling MEGA TIGER JIHAD. But, this band was actually playing some kind of rock and roll music, it was refreshing enough to be disorienting. Ninkasi has paintings by Sarah Brothers up. Brothers’ work reminds me of record sleeves of the ‘80s. If she had airbrushed her pieces they would totally be album art, or maybe cautionary illustrations from the Watchtower. There’s one piece showing a syringe breaking a skateboard in half. The metaphor is a bit obvious, but i love syringes in art so whatever. There was also a French flag showing a tree, a female torso and something else, not as memorable. I like the use of the color bars to divide a piece thematically. It works. Sarah has some solid technique to her painting, but it feels a bit stiff and the commentary is a bit obvious, but it did actually feel timely.

FIRST FRIDAY ART WALK NOVEMBER 5

F

irst stop was the Voyeur gallery to pull Mo Bowen out so she could go schmooze and make the scene. It’s important! Then over to the New Zone gallery. I was impressed by a large, stuffed slice of pizza sculpture. In the back gallery there was a selection of work done by kids who were being mentored by New Zone artists. I’m not particularly interested in student work, they are working through allot of their blocks and tend towards a lot of self-consciousness. I prefer children’s art that is totally naïve instead of being guided by some other artist. It’s that in-between naïveté and mastery that bugs the hell out of me, and that’s the place most “artists” are at. That said, Mia LaRiccia’s work is looking great. DIVA has two knockout shows up right now. The left-side galleries contain work by Jason Knapp, a Detroit artist who has aestheticized the mushroom cloud from the detonation of the atomic bomb. I was immediately reminded of the quote, “Pop is love, for it accepts everything. Pop is dropping the bomb. It’s the American dream, optimistic, generous & naive.” by Robert Indiana. Knapp agreed, saying that it is quintessentially American, like going to the moon. Big things. I am impressed by these artists that do not condemn Americans for being who we are. Big. Dangerous. Like me! Jason Knapp has executed a series of amaz-

ing sculptures of mushroom clouds, looking like strange, naturalistic lamp bases or elaborate parfait cups, entirely out of wood, which he apparently grew himself for some reason. He also drew a series of these mushroom clouds in black and white, which are the perfect companions to the sculptural pieces. Really amazing work that says a lot about something that looms in the periphery of our minds. In the theatre gallery of DIVA was a show called Viking Burial featuring mostly drawing and prints. Good, young work, full of the now of today. The pieces were novel and unexpected, which does it for me. Mary Unruh of DIVA let me know that DIVA is having its last show in December, which is a major bummer. She says they’re going out with a BANG! so i’ll make sure to keep you posted on what that BANG! will be. The Oregon Arts Alliance hosted a big drawing marathon that was well attended and looked like a ball if figure drawing in large groups is your thing. The drawings were being sold immediately for $25 a pop. Cheap! There was one of these old-time banjo groups, which always piss me off. What is the attraction? Also, they were charging for wine, which is immoral. OPUS VII was totally hopping with people for their grand opening. The art selection seemed like the same from my last review and i’ll restate, high-quality work, totally boring and safe, a bit more weird and experimental than most lobby art, but basically craft in disguise as art. There was a large exhibit from some design firm called ZIBA from Portland which

was sort of fun in its presentation, there was a big wall of their production sketches, but the things they were actually producing were totally boring. I like the general idea that OPUS VII is operating on in terms of blurring lines between art, design, architecture, commerce, etc, but the thing is, all of those things are already blurred in the real world. I know that a lot of people don’t get that, or see how it works, but for this concept to be implemented in a meaningful way it’s going to have to be more developed. Once again, charging for wine. Cowfish (the nightclub for nerds) had some bird paintings and some Mark Ryden tribute paintings. The Mark Ryden ones are fun visually, but so derivative as to distract from their own merit. Paintings of birds, see my commentary on timely visual trends and played out imagery. Marc Time was there, complaining about kittens and boasting of the crazy expansion of the Eugene Storefront Art Project. As America’s stores close, people are desperate to put SOMETHING into the windows. The thing that’s going to get people renting again is a lowering of rental prices, which will further kill the property bubble and be part of a dollar deflation. This is GOING TO HAPPEN. I would like to see ESAP partner with the U of O and get some high quality student work into  these storefronts.

AARON SULLIVAN

10

BANG! • NOVEMBER 10, 2010


by Allihalla & Miss Amelia Hart

DIY: Sweater cowl neck. he ladies of Looks Great, Duh! can think of no better way to spend a Monday afternoon than scavenging through the racks at a thrift shop, looking for deals and inspiration. This week we went to Salvation Army on 640 West 7th Avenue, which is one of our favorite shops. We're letting you in on a major secret here. This place is what thrift shopping used to be, with prices almost always under $5 and a lot of knickknacks less than $1. Everyday, they have a different tag color that is one dollar per item, no matter what it was priced at before. They even have a monthly Half off EVERYTHING sale! Talk about deals! We always find really excellent menswear here, a tip off for the dapper gentlemen in the audience. salvation army

W

ith stores as big as this, it's easy to feel overwhelmed by so many crowded racks. It's helpful to have some sort of game plan so you don't end up spending twenty minutes reading all the stupid mugs instead of trying on pants like you had set out to do. Start with looking at fabrics as you skim over the racks. Look for textures and colors that appeal to you, no matter what size the garment says it is. Vintage sizing is so different from contemporary sizing, and every style is cut differently. In spite of what the tags say, try the things you like anyway. And if something doesn't fit you right directly off the hanger, it can most likely be easily transformed into something that does! Not sure if your most desired fabric on least desired garment will transform well? Take a closer look at the weave of the fabric. Is it a loose-knit weave that you can see through? Probably not the best to take scissors to unless you wanna work hard, finishing off the seams to prevent the raw edges unraveling. Tighter weaves, like some finer sweaters and most t-shirts are great to get chopping on. The added bonus of buying something for a dollar from a thrift store is you can experiment on it and not regret cutting up (and maybe destroying) a valued item from your collection. It is great to practice a few simple alterations on something from the thrift store. Then, when you've mastered the technique try fixing up some of the unworn items already in your closet that you couldn't bear to part with. We decided to share one of our favorite easy fall alterations after a recent trip to Salvation Army. After shuffling through tons of Cosby sweaters, we came up with some really nice ones that were on sale, but didn’t fit quite right... What to do with them? We put our heads together, and came up with something you all could do, too! This project is how to make one of those nice big cowls we were talking up a couple issues ago that keep you dry in the rain and warm when it's so cold. We love this because it is super fast and easy, with sewing skills optional! All you need is a good pair of scissors and an old sweater with a smallish weave (unless you want to hem the raw edge or risk reenacting "The Sweater Song" by Weezer).

Follow these 4 easy steps:

Now, if you're sewing machine savvy, or patient with a needle and thread, you can make a slightly bigger cowl. To do so, instead of cutting from armpit to armpit, cut off the sleeves and top edge of the sweater. (Including the collar) Then head on over to your sewing machine and sew together the two sides where the sleeves formerly were attached. LIKE ABOVE. If you really want to get serious you can hem the raw edge, but we left ours as is. Here's Alli modeling her slightly more robust cowl:

TA DA! Amelia says you're done!

We hope that inspires you to try cutting up your clothes! If you have any other great ideas about how to transform old clothes, we'd love to hear about them on our blog! looksgreatduh.blogspot.com AMELIA HART is a pie aficionado, pretty baby rocky rolla, and can be found up and down Willamette Street, at Deluxe, Kitsch, and Dawn Baby Salon on a daily basis. missameliahart@gmail.com ALLIHALLA, has been altering her clothing since before she could read. She would love to help you transform those lovely, yet currently unwearable, items she knows you have kicking around. Find her at Kitsch 1022 Willamette. allihalla@gmail.com

 NOVEMBER 10, 2010 • BANG!

11


FILM REVIEWS

TOP TEN AT THE BOX OFFICE

by Ryan Nyburg

NEW FILMS! Megamind

The latest from the Dreamworks CGI "flashy lights for children" crap factory. A superhero thing where the villain has to become a hero when...the hell? Didn't this come out like a month and go with a different title? "Despicable..." something or other with Steve Carrell? Or is this all just some sort of cyclical fever dream from which I cannot awake until the next Pixar release? If you're going to put your kids in front of this to keep them entertained, you might as well put them in front of anything at all. And I include hobo fights and niche fetish porno films in that statement.

Due Date

Robert Downey Jr. and Zack Galifianakis in a Planes, Trains & Automobiles-with-more-pot-jokes kind of plot. Downey plays grumpy straight man to comic relief flavor-of-the-week Galifianahfuckit's stonerloser-aspiring-actor thing. The writers are a team with a few King of the Hill episodes under their belts and no indication they know how to put together a feature. This is like one of those projects that floats around production purgatory with no reason to ever get made until some reasonably big actor looking to pick up a paycheck between franchises pulls it out of his agent's ass like a Powerball number.

devoured by vampire squids (I know there are no vampire squids in Utah, but it's my dream and you can go fuck yourself if you think you can tell me not to dream). This is from Danny Boyle, moving as far into "uplifting human interest" territory as his career can take him, apparently trying to wipe the sordid taste of all those heroin junkie/zombie films he did (AKA his interesting movies).

For Colored Girls

Tyler Perry's latest. I know I'm not the intended audience for this film, but I still feel the need to point out that it looks about as interesting as taking a dump in my own hat. The best thing that can be said for the film is that it's an adaptation of a stage play that was not written by Perry. Unfortunately, he chose to throw away that potential goodwill by still choosing to write the screenplay and direct. Once he stops doing that, we'll be golden.

127 Hours

James Franco gets his arm trapped under a boulder in a canyon in Utah and spends days in tortured agony in this dream I had. He also made this film with an eerily similar plot, except for the ending were he escapes to safety rather than dying cold and alone,

Springfield has a venue?

by Fred X. Mertz

The Rabbit Hole is now open as a coffee shop and handmade art boutique. They also sell Games Workshop miniatures for Warhammer Fantasy tabletop gaming. (I'm a big fan of Space Orks!) I spoke with the staff: Roo, Betsey and Leif. Mertz: So tell me about the Rabbit Hole! Roo: It’s been open 2 weeks now... Up front we have an artists' space. We do some consignment artistry. The Eugene Artwalk Association came and they want to work with us. The Eugene Storefront Association came in. The art school down the street wants to contribute. Betsey: We're also showing stuff by some of the folks at Albert Taylor. Mertz: But you have more than just a handmade clothing and pottery, right? Roo: We have Stumptown coffee, it’s delicious. We're doing gaming back there, painting figurines. Then we've got a venue room—bands come in, they play, we don't charge anything for the space. A lot of places have become pretty picky about booking bands in Eugene. Like, 'Where's your press kit?' Leif: We help put together press kits. Betsey: We want to build happy relationships within the community. Roo: Amerikan Overdose wants to get some exposure in this area. They're finding 12

BANG! • NOVEMBER 10, 2010

it hard to find booking in Eugene. Betsey: We're here to make it more accessible for people to express themselves musically! Leif: What works best for the space is acoustic acts. That way parents can come here with their kids and everybody have a good time. Roo: After 4pm, we can be as loud as we want. Leif: What place has art, music, coffee and tabletop gaming? It's a place where people with diverse interests can come together. Betsey: That's why we named it the Rabbit Hole, its a little bit of everything you might find down the Rabbit Hole. Roo: There's definitely been a ton of support here in Springfield. 

Find more: www.rabbitholerecords.org Located at 126 4th Ave. Springfield. Always All Ages. Open Sun-Thur 8:30am-10pm, Fri-Sat 10am-1am

1

SAW 3D Number seven in the series, for those such as myself who lost count somewhere after ten minutes into the original film. Cheap production plus high returns will keep these coming until the market bottoms out, which at this point I fear will be approximately ten minutes after I've decided to find release in the cold embrace of death rather than see millions of dollars wasted on this bullshit. I think the world would be a more honest place if each Saw picture ended with a shot of a producer from “Loinsgate” laughing and rubbing his sleazy nudeness all over the hard-earned money you spent on a ticket for his piece of shit film.

2

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2 And then there's this. The best thing I can say for PA 2 is that it seems to revel in how fucking creepy little kids are. If more people took that lesson to heart, then this film might be said to have done some good. Alas...

3

RED I wonder if Bruce Willis has started thinking what would happen if he broke a hip while doing one of those badass poses. The combination of a mediocre story plus big-name actors once again spells box office gold for the studio and a big blank spot where my love for cinema once was.

4

JACKASS 3D I would be more interested in what the cast of this film was doing if they were locked in a dark, concrete room at the bottom of the ocean with nothing to do but stare into one another's eyes and wait to find who will finally suggest resorting to cannibalism. Now that's entertainment.

5

HEREAFTER Did you know that every time a bland film peddling a tired, lukewarm theology as comfort food to

those who can't face the concept of nonexistence makes it into the box office top ten, an angel gets sick into a bucket?

6

SECRETARIAT The preview for this is every sports movie cliché you can cram into a horse movie ramped up to 11, so that I feel just a little bit nauseous looking at it.

7 8

THE SOCIAL NETWORK How Ivy League Assholes Made Millions of Dollars Off You: The Movie.

LIFE AS WE KNOW IT A couple has to learn to be parents when they become the caregivers to an orphaned child. So basically, some kid's mom and dad had to die in order for the two leads to learn an adult level of responsibility.

9

THE TOWN A group of bank robbers work to complete one last big score amidst personal upheaval. This plot has been used well over 500 times and was considered cliché when Frank Sinatra was a bankable film star, so if you really wanted to, you could just pick up a dozen other better movies and get approximately the same effect without ever having to do anything that in any way supports the career of Ben Affleck.

10

CONVICTION Hilary Swank fights to free her wrongfully convicted brother while working as a single mom in a coal mine and teaching a group of underprivileged minority students to believe in the power of dance. A racist grandma learns to respect her Korean neighbor, a teenage girl learns the importance of being herself and a young man finds that his life is better when he tells his father he won't join him in the family business because he wants to follow his dreams and become a ballerina. Huh? 


NOW HEAR THIS!

by Richard D. Owens

LOCAL ZINE MADE BY YOU ALBUM

GUCCI MANE The Appeal: Georgia's Most Wanted

DATE

2010, Warner Bros.

ARTIST

WEEZy's Finally FREE

N

ot surprisingly, the rap genius was topping charts even while behind bars. I Am Not A Human Being sold over 100,000 units in digital format before CDs were pressed, let alone in stores. But everyone knows ‘Lil Wayne leads the game. What most don't realize is that another Southern Rapper had an album debut in the Top 5. The one and only Radric Davis aka Gucci Mane La Flare aka The Gooch aka Mr. Perfect aka East Atlanta's Finest aka Mr. Zone 6's latest offering sold over 60,000 copies in the first week. The Appeal: Georgia's Most Wanted, exhibits this prolific rapper's versatility in ways never before seen in his

SELECTION

Making Love to the Money

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Remember When

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studio albums. While covering typical subjects, e.g., drugs, alcohol, women and luxury goods, Gucci switches styles with ease. His delivery in a single song can be as multi-faceted as the rock in his “half-a-million dollar earlobe.” More a collection of singles than a proper album, songs on “The Appeal” are really hit or miss. Instead of guest appearances by other rappers (Wacka Flocka Flame and OJ Da Juiceman where are you?), the album features a wide range of producers (Drumma Boy, Swizz Beats, Neptunes, Lex Luger, Zaytoven, etc.) but Gucci navigates the uneven terrain with ease. 

exiledineugene at gmail.com

FREE MUSIC IN EVERY ISSUE!

(.(

roadtrip ConCERt PREviEWs

NILE ROLLS PORTLAND

nilE EX-DEO, PSYCROPTIC & MORE 7pm, Nov 13, $20 Hawthorne Theater

www.hawthornetheater.com for tickets

by COLLIN GERBER

F

ans of metal and death metal will almost universally agree that we have a real treat on our hands with the approach of death metal masters NILE coming to the Hawthorne Theater in Portland on Saturday, November 13th. NILE are unquestionably one the most exciting, technical and all around talented metal bands working today, and their appeal reaches far beyond that of the in-the-know metal head. Bringing a rare and unusual theme to their music, front man Karl Sanders utilizes his historian level knowledge of Ancient Egypt to lyrical subject matter, album artwork and indigenous Egyptian instrumentation, on top of the metal guitar, bass and drums. Simply for the metal part of the act however, all members are considered to be

at the top of the genre in talent and prestige, each having been featured in notable metal bands as members or guests, ranging from Behemoth and Morbid Angel to Belphegor and Malevolent Creation. U.S.-born lead guitarist Sanders was ranked #4 death metal guitarist of all time by Decibel Magazine, and Greek-born drummer George Kollias is renowned for using only one kick pedal during blast beats, and having clocked in speeds of up to 280 bpm on their most recent album Those Whom the Gods Detest. The music is loud, brutal and crushing, yet it is so technical and musically fascinating that people unfamiliar with the band or genre would still be able to appreciate the skill and spectacle of seeing it performed live. 

NOVEMBER 10, 2010 • BANG!

13


WANDERING — GOAT — ALBUM REVIEWS iFJL i9#0&'4+0))1#6T%1/i

(9(176&$/(1'$5 t h u r s d ay 129(0%(5

LITTLEST BIRDS M2/

s at u r d ay 129(0%(5

STAGGER & SWAY M2/ w e d n e s d ay 129(0%(5

HOW MUCH BANG? (ratings explained)

ď‚Ž

RICE CRISPIES

ď‚Žď‚Ž

POPPED BALLOON

ď‚Žď‚Žď‚Ž

CHERRY BOMB

ď‚Žď‚Žď‚Žď‚Ž ď‚Žď‚Žď‚Žď‚Žď‚Ž DYNAMITE

ATOMIC WAR

ATHEIST Jupiter

KITES & CROWS Golden Room EP

2010, Season of Mist atheistmusic.com

2010, Independent kitesandcrows.net

 Atheist, renowned progressive and technical metal visionaries and innovators have reformed to release their first studio album since 1993. Reuniting two of the original members of this group, Jupiter recalls the progressive dexterity and apparently erratic syncopated song development that the band helped popularize. The seemingly irregular spurts of play and note changes are presented in such a way that it is clear the apparent randomness is intentional as the band’s every note is tight and delivered with purpose. The progressive rock styling with the influence of technical and death metal combine to create an astounding listening experience, as the already fast music is paired with free jazz-like syncopation and sudden key changes. Envisioning the song writing process or a jam session of this style of music is dumbfounding, as it is so unpredictable, yet so perfectly tight. Whether you like progressive rock, metal, or just know a few Rush songs, this album and the band’s overall catalog are a very interesting listen. —COLLIN GERBER

 The collected works of William Shakespeare have never had much appeal to me. His achievements have always been one of those things that I acknowledged and respected for their impact and contributions to society at large, deserving of a piece of the spotlight yet never really striking a chord with me, like the last few decades of Paul McCartney's career, or recycling. But that which floats my boat isn't really the point of all of this (or it might be THE point, reckon on how you look at it), and it's not really about ol' Bill Shakespeare either. Nonetheless, the Ghost of the Bard played a role in this review, inspiring the name of, and bringing together Ashland's own Kites & Crows. The annual festival bearing his name served as the initial point of contact for the trio, providing that initial glimmer of mutual interest that opens doors, and makes light bulbs illuminate and suddenly appear, floating in the inches above your head, until one day you find yourself, like Kites & Crows, releasing the Golden Room EP. Backed by a wide variety of Americana instrumentation—a little banjo here, a spot of accordion there, and ample helpings

BLAST FROM THE PAST

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Digging through the crates in search of dusty grooves. Unearthing gems from the musical past. Celebrating certified classics that have stood the test of time Breathing new life into long lost tracks of the past—lost, but not forgotten.

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BANG! • NOVEMBER 10, 2010

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he intro begins unassumingly with a rolling bass line, minimal guitar twang, and a single bell. Just then the snare starts kicking, and you realize what you're in for. A variety of percussion compounds quickly, elements stacking and weaving. Simple organ pulses grab you, pull you in, and held chords take you on a funky downward progression; cymbal crashes signaling your descent to the bottom. The freight train keeps chugging and lead vocals reveal this machinery is actually turning out a song. Sounding somewhat unsure of his soulful delivery, he slips on a note or two before solidly executed backing vocals buoy him up and give him new strength in the second verse. Backing vocals become haunted and reverb-drenched. The entire assembly continues to build with energy before disintegrating into a spastic organ solo, vocal jabs and a wave of intense percussion. The song, penned by Steve Winwood, is far too short, even at three minutes.

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KITES & CROWS play a free show at Sam Bond’s Garage tonight (Wednesday) with local indie country rockers Salt Lick at 8 pm. To quote the Bard: "If music be the food of love, play on."

with Richard D. Owens

Eliza Rickman, Ashla Grzesik (from Vagabond Opera)

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BANG!'s family guide to recorded music

of cello—the 8 song set showcases the folksy intellect of singer/songwriter Mysha Caruso. It's very pretty music, and I don't say that as a negative. Listening to the Golden Room, I imagined a balmy, early Autumn evening, just after sunset, wandering through the trees while a brisk breeze rustles through the leaves of fire, the soft babbling of a mountain stream in the distance, the cool moonlight commencing to bathe the forest in its glow. Perhaps you're having a late, candlelit picnic with an intimate lover, or sitting alone, lamenting the loss of one. Either way, there's a bottle of red wine in your hand and this is your soundtrack, and Kites & Crows provides it honestly and ably. There were, however, moments of the Golden Room where I lost track of where I was. I'd be thinking I was listening to one song when it was really another, each song sounding similar to the next without much to strongly distinguish between the individual tracks. It does help with the cohesiveness of the record, and I'm encouraged by the fact that the songwriting doesn't appear to fall into the groupthink trap that ensnares so many artists in this genre. Think of a stripped down Band of Horses, sans the falsetto, or an Iron & Wine side project. Golden Room is a well thought out release, though there were moments that I found myself wanting a little more, expecting some big turn around the corner that would give certain songs stronger individual characteristics, only to feel slightly let down when they didn't come. I enjoyed it though, and Kites & Crows should find themselves growing in audience and recognition if they keep moving forward on the path that they're on and avoid the sometimes-narrow confines of the genre. —MARK SULLIVAN


HOROSCOPES by Steven Jellybean Honeysuckle

Aries Mar. 21­-Apr. 19: Most mornings, you wake up

November 10, 2010

Libra Sep. 23-Oct. 22: You’re just so caught up in

without any recollection of your noggin’s nocturnal meanderings. Don’t let those dreams leak out of your ear canals and drift away. Capture them before they evaporate into the air and become just another part of the ether. Get your earlobes pierced, stretch them out and then get yourself a pair of dream-catcher spacers to ensnare those off-hour imaginings.

your own ways. Compelled by your compulsions right now. There’s no delay between conception and action. Congratulations on cutting that leash and setting yourself free. Mostly it’s been working for you. Continue acting on impulse and see where it takes you. Most probably, it’ll be greatbut there’s always the possibility of utter ruin. That’s how you know it’s really going on.

TAURUS

Scorpio Oct. 23-Nov. 21: You’ve been downright

Apr. 20-May 20: Does life seem bland? Moments of extreme gravity passing lightly by only to reveal their importance in hindsight? It’s because you don’t have anyone scoring your life. You can be a miser and just buy some Ennio Morricone CDs and a boom box to carry around with you. Or you could class it up and hire a real select orchestra to follow you around. It’s really worth investing the extra coin.

Gemini May 21-June 20: You’re amazingly amoral

right now, lacking even a speck of scruples. It’s a great time to work for a tobacco company. You’ll be able to do your job without those nagging neurons firing away all day. Give Joe Camel a makeover for the new millennium—tattoo sleeves, an iPod and a fixie. Better yet, start developing tobacco-infused candy for those nicotine-needy juveniles.

Cancer June 21-July 22: It’s time to get your hands

dirty. Literally dirty. Like earth under the fingernails and in the seams and creases. Find a good piece of exposed earth and get in there with your disrobed digits. Service that soil. Reconnect with the roots, rocks and bones. It’s best to get in there in autumn when life is really rolling over.

Leo July 23-Aug. 22: This whole speaking the King’s English thing is getting pretty tired. Everyone’s doing it! It lacks imagination and creativity, and is far too obvious. It’s good to occasionally shake shit up. Alter your oral patterns. Speak strictly in metaphors and similes for a while. Talk like everything you say is a line from a Dylan Thomas poem or a lyric from a Bob Dylan song before he went stylistically tits up. Virgo Aug. 23-Sep. 22: You’ll have to go on with you

own personal Sisyphean tasks once again today— brushing your teeth, showering, telling ass-mouths to stand in the middle of West 11th at rush hour, eating, breathing. It never ends. Get on with it or find a cold, quiet clearing in the woods, a beam strong enough to hang upside down from, a bottle of recently bottled Gulf of Mexico water, or whatever other form of personal extinction you fancy.

toothless of late, and a shark doesn’t eat without all five rows. You’d better grow some incisors from those gums or you might just become morally emaciated before long. You’ve got to exercise those principles or they’ll just waste away and fall right out of your head. Jumpstart your heart. Pick the boldest belief you hold and air it out. You should really offend someone sometime soon.

Sagittarius Nov. 22-Dec. 21: You’ve been focused too much on the things that fit the rules, trying to prove them true. Break it up for a change. Seek out elemental transvestitism. Search for Bumblebees, Platypuses, Blanding’s Turtles, Komodo Dragons (Sungai or Flora to start with), Dark Matter… Anything that doesn’t fit into tidy explanations and definitions. If it is scientifically impossible, it’s happening out there somewhere. Go and find it.

Capricorn Dec. 22-Jan. 19: In November, it’s down-

right dumb to ignore your creative capabilities, to avoid your inventive inclinations. Mix up some water and any starch that you prefer, soak some strips of newsprint in that paste and build the bones of a village or personal army or forest or alien colony or animal-amphibian for papering. Make something that hasn’t been discovered yet. Create your own paper mache menagerie.

Aquarius Jan. 20-Feb. 18: You don’t actually ever have to pay the wages of any of your sins. They’re like university loans, just keep using them to pay for living your life and the bill will never come due. Damn the interest. Let it compound. You don’t want to spend your days paying on it with those dinky little monthly minimum payments. And you don’t want to live your life on your knees. Pisces Feb. 19­-Mar. 20: Sometimes things get too

even, too consistent, too geometrically sound. It’s always smart to get crooked, to get sideways. Start by rearranging your ocular operations. Squeeze a couple of lemon wedges in your own eye. Wear a pair of 3-D glasses to the park. Strap some backward binoculars onto your face. Just be careful roller-skating or reading a menu.

CROSSWORD PUZZLE NOVEMBER 10, 2010 bestcrosswords.com BestCrosswords.com - Puzzle #2 for November 07, 2010 Across

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1. Muslim elder and prayerleader 5. Short gaiters 10. Nerd 14. Indonesian holiday resort 15. Baffled 16. Mata ___ 17. Don Juan's mother 18. Birth-related 19. Take ___ from me 20. Egyptian canal 21. Fraud 23. Court call 25. Exclamation of dismay 26. Largest of the Canary Islands 31. Erodes 35. Numero ___ 36. Like Thor 38. Sneak 40. Roster 42. ___ Dame 44. Dash 45. Muscular tissue 47. Humdinger 49. Before 50. Concerned with a specific subject 52. Stand astride 54. Bumbler 56. Big galoot 57. Church festival of Feb. 2 62. Makes lace 66. ___ sapiens 67. Garlic sauce 68. Drug-yielding plant 69. Copied 70. Gandhi's land 71. Injectable diazepam, in military lingo 72. Unit of force 73. Beer mug 74. Back part of the foot

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Copyright Pyromod Software Inc. For personal use only. Not for publication.

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33. Angered 34. Growl angrily 37. Part of Q.E.D. 39. Human leg joint 41. Baseball bat wood 43. Like Russia, geographically 46. Head-cover 48. Faucet 51. Seaport in N France 53. Disengage 55. Juke 57. Reproduction 58. "So be it" 59. Lymph ___ 60. Fashion 61. Et ___ 63. Winglike parts 64. Accent 65. Authenticating BestCrosswords.com - Puzzle #2mark for October 18, 2010 Across 66. Possessed A S T I L A P S 1

1. Italian wine city 5. Pass into disuse 10. Upper limbs, weapons 14. Boxer Spinks 15. Floored 16. Tidy, without fault 17. Novelist Waugh 18. Credibly 20. "Peter and the Wolf" bird 22. 13th letter of the Hebrew alphabet 23. Angry 24. Broadcasting 26. Brief instant 27. Plain of E Africa 30. Fair-haired kid 34. Gave a speech 35. Dulls 36. Vane dir. 37. Harp relative 38. Home ______; Culkin movie 40. Mine entrance 41. Skater Babilonia 42. Hang-up 43. Dull 45. Silliness 47. Meddling person 48. Hydrocarbon suffix 49. Fuming sulphuric acid 50. Dispute 53. Land in la mer 54. Wave-related 58. Talking at tedious length 61. Tubular pasta 62. D-Day beach 63. Sift 64. Ages 65. Trading center 66. ___ Grows in Brooklyn 67. 1996 Tony-winning musical

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Every twelve years by Merrill Williams (yes, he's really 12)

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15


Memories

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MUSIC

, Collin

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The Newspaper Club enjoys a break as tough deadlines approach

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BANG! vol. I, no. 5