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WHAT’S INSIDE FEATURES PAGE 12 From the Streets to Parliament: Among its 31 Icons, GLBT History Month Honors Georgina Beyer, 1st Transgender Member of a National Legislature.

PAGE 33 Showgirl: An interview with Kristine W. By Mikey Rox

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT PAGE 29 – FICTION The Adventures of Pico Darling: Death Defier. By Shayna Rockswell

PAGE 30 – DINING OUT Sammy’s Trattoria. By John Cullen with Marty Shayt


Calendar. Compiled by Maddy Dwertman

Miss Gay America 2009: A Vision of the Phantom Behind the Mask; AIDS Memorial Quilt Panels Coming to Rehoboth Beach; 6th Annual Equality Maryland Jazz Brunch on November 2 to Honer Isis and Dan Furmansky; Downtown Church to Host ALternative Market; Barcstoberfest 2008 Raises Funds for Local ANimal Shelter; Goucher College Hosts Day of Peace on November 15; BACVA Host Baltimore’s First LGBT Education Forum; CAMPsafe Invites Artists to Submit Work for World AIDS Day exhibition. Compiled by Maddy Dwertman


PAGE 7 – NATIONAL NEWS 241 W. Chase Street, Baltimore, MD 21201 Phone: 410.837.7748 Fax: 410.837.8889 Email:

Brian Flottemesch President of GLCCB Maddy Dwertman Editor

In other Prop 8 News...; Producers, Teachers Give big Bucks to No on 8; $3.9 Million Raised at Hollywood Fundraiser Against Prop 8; Gay Protest at Louisville McDonald’s; GLAAD Targets Museum of Broadcast Communications; San Diego County DA Marries; Bette Midler Campaigns for Obama at Vegas Gay Bar; Connecticut Residents Support Same-Sex Marriage Decision; Allan Spear Dies. By Rex Wockner with Bill Kelley.


Michael Nguyen Art Director


National Advertising Rep. Rivendell Media 212-242-6863 CONTRIBUTORS Nicole Bettis Marvelous Marva Rev. Irene Monroe John Cullen Dimitria Richard Pazornik Marry Elaine David Placher Mario Fernandez Shayna Rockswell Alex Funk Mikey Rox Ginger Harris Marty Shayt Bill Kelley Gwendolyn Ann Smith Sir Andy Liu Rex Wockner

Gay Life is a publication of the Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Baltimore. Gay Life is published every other Friday in Baltimore, Maryland, with distribution throughout the Mid-Atlantic region. Copyrighted 2008. All Rights Reserved. Gay Life is copyrighted and may not be reproduced without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Opinions expressed are those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect those of Gay Life or its publisher.


Austrian Far-Right Leader Leaves Gay Bar, Dies in Car Crash; Portuguese Parliament Rejects Same-Sex Marriage; Norwegian Church will Not Marry Gays when Law Takes Effect; Officials in Tambov, Russia Blocks Gay Events; Head of British Army Addresses Gay Conference; Dutch Men on Trial for Deliberate HIV Transmission; Polish Gay March OK’s, then Banned. By Rex Wockner with Bill Kelley.

Goddamned. By DJ Alex Funk

PAGE 37 - THEATRE On the Stage. Compiled by Maddy Dwertman

PAGE 40 - FILM ‘Half a Person’ Packs Whole Lotta Punch. By Ginger Harris

HOME PAGE 31 – REAL ESTATE Has the Financial Market Got you Singing the Blues? By Richard Pazornik

COMMUNITY & COLUMNS PAGE 15 – WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENT The Rev. David Smoith and Michael R. Barnard Wed in California, October 19

PAGE 39 – FROM THE TOP Flogger Tales. By Sir Andy Liu






It’s not the Transfender Day of Approproation. By Gwendolyn Ann Smith

What’s Cooking

Que(e)rying the Candidates. By Rev. Irene Monroe

PAGE 42 – HOMOSTROLOGY By Marry Elaine

The Daze & the Maze of Dead-Ends: One Path to Happieness. By David Placher


LHAC: Uncomfortable Conversations that Hold Truth. By Marvelous Marva


IMHO: This and That. By Mario Fernandez

Outoberfest Block Party & Area Colleges Coming Out Dance. By Jay W.

By Rex Wockner with Bill Kelley

Coming From Where I’m From. By Nicole Bettis

VISIT US ONLINE AT WWW.BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM. PA G E 2 • O c t o b e r 3 1 - N o v e m b e r 1 4 , 2 0 0 8 • G A Y L I F E •

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LOCAL NEWS Miss Gay America 2009: A Vision of the Phantom Behind the Mask by Dimitria our representatives from Miss Gay Maryland were in the top ten, with Tatiyanna Voché placing 10th and Sue Nami placing 6th in her first trip to Miss Gay America. Tatiyanna also won the Leslie Rage talent award, with the highest overall score in the talent category. The Maryland system received State Prelim of the Year. As promoter of Miss Gay Maryland, Roger Dimick, manager of Club Hippo, was “very proud of Maryland winning state prelim of the year award. Out of 20 state prelims, Maryland has placed the highest 3 out of 7 years. Also, we would like to express that we are proud of our sister pageant, Miss Gay DC America, who won regional prelim of the year.”

Miss Gay Maryland America Tatiyanna Voche crowning Sue Nami as Miss Hippo 2009. On Wednesday, October 17, Miss Gay Maryland America Tatiyanna Voché and First Alternate Sue Nami commenced their competition for Miss Gay America. Held this year in St. Louis, Missouri, former Miss Gay America Mikayla Kay gave up her title, and joined the ranks as former Miss Gay America with such symbols of excellence as Linda Carrero, Maya Montana and Sabrina White. Preparation for this event was long in the making, as both of “our girls” began practicing and preparing many months ago. Several benefits were held in their honor, and, together with the community, they raised over $20,000 to represent our system at Miss Gay America. “After preparing for Miss America for 6 months, with all the obstacles that came up, there are no words to describe the satisfaction of standing on the Miss America stage,” commented Tatiyanna Voché, Miss Gay Maryland America. Competition for the crown was fierce, but in the end, Miss Gay DC America Victoria DePaula was crowned Miss Gay America. First runner up was Miss East Coast America Chantel Reshae. Both of

“Going to Miss Gay America, and placing top ten was one of the most amazing experiences in my life.” Tatiyanna said. “Baltimore has an amazing support system, and it was amazing to see that halfway across the world. It truly is an honor to be called Miss Gay Maryland.” When asked to reflect on how it felt to represent Maryland, Sue Nami explained: “It has been such an honor for me this past year being first alternate to Miss Gay Maryland America and competing at Miss Gay America…. I look forward to returning and competing again in 2009 with the experience and knowledge I have gained.” After returning from Miss Gay America, Sue Nami went on to win the Miss Gay Hippo title, and will again be in the running for Miss Gay Maryland, to be held in April at the Hippo. Her competitors will include Jada Douglas, first alternate to Miss Hippo; Miss Gay Central Maryland Treasure Revlon and first alternate LuLu LaDiva; and Miss Gay Glamour Girl Jazmen Marx and first alternate Chi Chi Ray Colby. There will be two more preliminary competitions to Miss Gay Maryland— Miss Gay Freestate to be held on November 14 and Miss Gay Baltimore to be held on February 6. Sue Nami and Tatiyanna Voché both extend their deepest thanks to Club Hippo and all the local supporters who they consider the driving force behind their success.

AIDS Memorial Quilt Panels Coming to Rehoboth Beach The 2008 World Aids Day Celebration of Hope and Remembrance scheduled for Monday, December 1 in Rehoboth Beach will feature panels from the AIDS Memorial Quilt. The local World AIDS Day committee plans to display one of the panels in the candlelight walk which, this year, will be held in conjunction with the Rehoboth Beach Hometown Christmas Parade. Additional panels will be hung at All Saints Episcopal Church where there will be a service of Hope and Remembrance including the reading of the names of community members who died of AIDS. A light supper will be served following the candlelight walk. Member organizations comprising the World AIDS Day Committee include Sussex County AIDS Council, CAMP Rehoboth, Clear Space Productions, Delaware HIV Consortium, All Saints Episcopal Church, and Epworth United Methodist Church.

6th Annual Equality Maryland Jazz Brunch on November 2 to Honor Isis and Dan Furmansky Equality Maryland’s Jazz Brunch and silent auction has established itself as one of Baltimore’s premier events for LGBT Marylanders and their allies. On Sunday, November 2, Equality Maryland invites community members to enjoy an afternoon of food and music, inspiring guests and a silent auction at the Baltimore Marriott Waterfront. Equality Maryland has invited Patricia Ireland, former president of the National Organization for Women (NOW), author and civil rights advocate, as the keynote speaker. The event will honor Isis, the first transgender contestant on America’s Next Top Model, with the Equality Maryland Visibility Award. Executive Director Dan Furmanksy will also be recognized for his five years of service to Equality Maryland and the cause of civil rights for LBGT Marylanders. For tickets and additional information, visit

Downtown Church to Host Alternative Market On Sunday, November 16, First & Franklin Presbyterian Church will set up a lively market where local, regional and international groups will hawk their wares. Unlike a more traditional market, this “alternative” market will offer shoppers the opportunity to support twenty different non-profit organizations working towards change in the key areas of education and conflict resolution, the environment, hunger and disaster relief, medical assistance and self-sufficiency development. Those seeking the perfect gift that never needs to be returned, or a way to honor a special friend or family member, will find an organization to suit all ages, genders and interests. Among the twenty groups represented are Habitat for Humanity’s local Sandtown Chapter; Heifer Project International; Women for Afghan Women; Patrick Allison House, a local residential program breaking the cycle of homelessness; Shepherd’s Clinic, a Baltimore volunteer-driven health clinic for those who cannot afford insurance; and That All May Freely Serve Baltimore, working via education, reconciliation and advocacy for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered persons. In exchange for their donation, shoppers will receive a handsome gift card and envelope with an insert explaining the service of the organization. In the spirit of fair trade, Ten Thousand Villages of Fells Point will again be selling a selection of handicrafts that support self-sufficiency for artisans in Third World countries. For sustenance, shoppers may purchase baked goods and hot brewed fair-trade coffee. Monies from the latter will benefit First & Franklin Presbyterian Church’s food pantry. The Alternative Market will take place from 11:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. on Sunday, November 16 at 210 W. Madison Street, Baltimore, MD. For additional information, call 410-728-5545. • G A Y L I F E • O c t o b e r 3 1 - N o v e m b e r 1 4 , 2 0 0 8 • PA G E 5

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LOCAL NEWS Barcstoberfest 2008 Raises Funds for Local Animal Shelter dance to date, Baltimore Animal Rescue and Care Shelter (BARCS) raised over $15,000 for its nonprofit animal shelter. The new “Strut Your Mutt” Walk was a hit with hundreds of people donating to BARCS and taking a stroll around Patterson Park with their pooches. This year’s pet costume contests also proved hugely popular, with prizes going to “Most Baltimorean”, “Matching Dog and Human”, “Most Original” and “Best Last Minute”. In addition to the fun activities, several of BARCS dogs were adopted during the event.

Photo Courtesy of BARCS Both pets and their humans enjoyed a dog-gone great fall afternoon of festivities at the 4th Annual Barcstoberfest on Saturday, October 25. With over 70 vendors, a 700-item silent auction and the largest atten-

BARCS strives to provide quality and compassionate care to all animals. Each year, BARCS receives an estimated 11,000 unwanted, abused or stray animals. For additional information about BARCS and other upcoming events, visit

Goucher College Hosts Day of Peace on November 15 Soul Purpose Productions and Sid McNairy’s Lifeline Power Yoga presents a “Day of Peace” at Goucher College (Sports and Recreation Center, 1021 Dulaney Valley Rd., Towson, MD 21204) on Saturday, November 15, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. The Day of Peace is designed to create peace in you, your community, and your world. The day features yoga, meditation, lectures, and music. Also available will be holistic modalities, such a massage, reiki, and reflexology, as well as vendors providing crystals, jewelry, books and more. A Day of Peace is the brainchild of yogi, Sid McNairy. Sid feels that such an event is vital to healing our community and creating peace, starting with the body, mind and soul of each individual present. Sid has been practicing yoga since 1996 – on a daily basis since 2004; prior to that he was a college football coach for twelve years. Sid admits that his journey into the world of yoga has been an interesting road as he became aware of the need for healing in his own soul. Sid is dedicated not only in excelling his own practice and understanding of yoga, but in reaching out to the community through yoga to create and more loving and healing environment.

BACVA Hosts Baltimore’s First LGBT Education Forum On October 23, the Baltimore Area Convention and Visitor’s Association (BACVA) hosted Baltimore’s first Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Education Forum to share the results of its recent LGBT Destination Survey. BACVA has partnered with Community Marketing, Inc., the leaders in tourism market research, strategies and outreach to the LGBT community, to move Baltimore forward as a gay-friendly destination. Individuals from the hospitality and tourism industry gathered together with local business owners and representatives of LGBT organizations to participate in an informative workshop that included the review and interpretation of Baltimore’s LGBT market research, a discussion of LGBT sensitivity concerns and tips on effectively marketing to the LGBT community. Panel speakers included Thomas Roth, president and founder of Community Marketing; David Paisely, senior project manager of Community Marketing; and Bill Gehrman, president of En Route Consulting. All speakers stressed the importance of businesses becoming involved in supporting local LGBT organizations and establishing LGBT-inclusive HR policies, including partner benefits and LGBT sensitivity training, before actively marketing themselves as an LGBTfriendly destination. BACVA, following the lead of con-

CAMPsafe Invites Artists to Submit Work for World AIDS Day exhibition

In our busy lives, we sometimes forget that each of us has the ability to make this world a more peaceful place, one person at a time—starting with self. “In my short life I have realized that I cannot change the world,” explains Sid McNairy. “I have learned that I can only change the person I am, as I change I will have an effect on my family, my family will have an effect on the community, the community will have an effect on the state, the state will have an effect on the country, and our country will have an effect on the world. When we seek love from our heart we will find peace, and love always wins!”

The CAMPsafe program of CAMP Rehoboth is now accepting visual art submissions for its annual World AIDS Day art exhibition. The theme of this year’s World AIDS Day is “Keep the Promise”. The piece should not only reflect the theme, but also the artist’s own experience with HIV/AIDS—how it affects you, someone you know or the community you are part of. The exhibit will be on display at CAMP Rehoboth in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware from November 25 until December 11. The opening will be held on December 1st in conjunction with the World AIDS Day program that is held in Rehoboth. The event is free and open to the public.

Admission for the event is on a donation basis. Visit or call Patti Hawse at 410-446-2569 for more information and a full schedule of events.

For consideration of your artwork in the exhibit, please send an image (.jpg) or URL together with your

Sid will be teaching two session of hot vinyasa “flow” yoga though out the day, so bring your mats and a towel and get ready to sweat. For those who wish to find peace without sweating, Swami Shankarananda, from The Divine Life Church of Absolute Oneness, will be speaking in the morning on “Creating Peace in Your Heart”, while Grandmother Morningstar will be facilitating a healing, breathing meditation in the afternoon Or, you can really find peace by pampering yourself with a massage, reflexology or reiki treatment.

vention and visitor’s associations in other major cities, launched an LGBT microsite ( , which includes information about TAG-approved accommodations and links to Gay Life, Maryland’s LGBT community newspaper and Baltimore Pride. Off to a good start, BACVA and area businesses interested in successfully marketing to LGBT visitors have made the crucial step of initiating dialogue with local LGBT organizations and Baltimore’s LGBT community.

Greetings By: Tom Noonan President and CEO, Baltimore Area Convention and Visitors Association

Panel Speakers: Thomas Roth President and Founder of Community Marketing, which was launched in 1992 and he has served as its president for 18 years. David Paisely Senior Project Manager of Community Marketing, managing media and consulting programs for nearly 20 key hospitality and destination clients. Bill Gehrman President of En Route Consulting, which provides custom marketing service to clients. He was also the former vice president of strategic service at the Altus Group and director of marketing at the Philadelphia CVB. name and email address to Images must be received by November 1 in order to be considered for the exhibition. Artwork is open to all 2-dimensional mediums and must be framed and ready to be hung. Work must be shipped or hand delivered. Staff is able to pick up artwork in the DC, Baltimore, Philadelphia or the New York City area. Founded in January 1991, CAMP is an acronym for Create a More Positive Rehoboth. CAMP Rehoboth is a nonprofit community service organization dedicated to creating a more positive environment in Rehoboth Beach and its related communities. CAMP seeks to promote cooperation and understanding among all people, as it works to build safe, inclusive communities with room for all. For more information, call Salvatore Seeley @ CAMP Rehoboth: 302- 2275620.

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NATIONAL NEWS by Rex Wockner with Bill Kelley

In other Prop 8 news... 4 A former Republican mayor of Folsom, Calif., Glenn Fait, took out an ad in the Folsom Telegraph Oct. 22 to announce that he's gay and to urge people to vote no on Prop 8. "For weeks, I was trying to figure out what I can do and then I thought, well, I can do this," Fait, 65, told the Sacramento Bee. "My civil rights are at stake." Fait was mayor of the Sacramento County city of 71,000 from 1995 to 1996. 4Leaders of the campaign to pass Prop 8 acknowledged Oct. 23 that they sent letters to more than 30 businesses and organizations that have contributed to the GLBT group Equality California, telling them to donate an equal amount against same-sex marriage or be outed as opponents of traditional marriage. "Make a donation of a like amount ... which will help us correct this error," the letter said. "Were you to elect not to donate comparably, it would be a clear indication that you are in opposition to traditional marriage. ... The names of any companies and organizations that choose

not to donate in like manner to but have given to Equality California will be published." The letter was signed by members of the group's executive committee and a donation form was attached. Equality California Executive Director Geoffrey Kors said the letter was an attempt at extortion. 4 The San Jose Mercury News reported Oct. 23 that Google cofounder and President Sergey Brin had donated $100,000 to defeat Prop 8 and co-founder Larry Page had donated $40,000. 4Apple posted a note on its Web site Oct. 24 saying: "Apple is publicly opposing Proposition 8 and making a donation of $100,000 to the No on 8 campaign. ... We strongly believe that a person's fundamental rights -- including the right to marry—should not be affected by their sexual orientation. Apple views this as a civil rights issue, rather than just a political issue, and is therefore speaking out publicly against Proposition 8."

Producer, Teachers Give Big Bucks to No on 8 Hollywood producer and real estate tycoon Steve Bing has given half a million dollars to the campaign to stop voters from amending the California Constitution to re-ban same-sex marriage Nov. 4. And the California Teachers Association, the state's biggest teachers' union, has pumped another $1 million into the battle against the amendment. The group had given $250,000 earlier. A spokeswoman said "equal rights for all" is what teachers teach. The No on (Proposition) 8 campaign says it has failed to raise as much money as the forces favoring the ban and that, as a result, the "yes" side has aired more TV ads and flipped public-opinion polls from opposing to supporting the ban. No on 8's four TV ads have been criticized by some gay bloggers and others as "tepid," "lame" and "underwhelming," but campaign strategists say the ads were tested on undecided voters and they "work" on those people. No on 8 is expected to release one or two additional ads before Nov. 4, and it is likely the new ad or ads will be more aggressive than those that have aired to date, said knowledgeable sources speaking not for attribution.

Concerned that California voters might amend the state constitution to re-ban same-sex marriage on Nov. 4, West Hollywood Mayor Jeff Prang and his partner, Ray Viscarra, hurriedly got married Oct. 23 at City Hall. Photo by Karen Ocamb 4MTV Networks/Viacom came out against Prop 8 on Oct. 24. They said: "On November 4th, Californians have the unique opportunity to go to the polls and stand up for what makes this a great country and a free society—inclusivity, freedom and respect for all. Proposition 8 is antithetical to those principles and a vote for ignorance, hatred and inequality."

If enough money is raised to keep up with the "yes" side's spamming of the airwaves with ads, gays will win the fight, No on 8 predicts. Otherwise, the situation looks grim, the strategists say. The outcome is fully contingent on the TV ad battle, No on 8 has asserted. Campaign Web site—

$3.9 Million Raised at Hollywood Fundraiser Against Prop 8 Some $3.9 million was raised in Hollywood Oct. 21 to fight Proposition 8, the proposed state constitutional amendment that would re-ban same-sex marriage in California. The measure is on the Nov. 4 ballot. Attendees who gave more than $50,000 at the event, held at the estate of supermarket mogul Ron Burkle, got to eat dinner with Barbra Streisand. According to correspondent Karen Ocamb, the money is being used "to mount new, fresh and hard-hitting" TV ads "to compete head-to-head with what the (No on 8) campaign called 'lies' and 'distortions' from the Yes on 8 campaign in their desperate push to overturn marriage equality." The 200 mostly gay guests at the main event paid $1,000 each to hear Melissa Etheridge and Mary J. Blige perform three songs each. Streisand did not

4Concerned that Prop 8 might pass, West Hollywood Mayor Jeff Prang and his partner, Ray Viscarra, got married Oct. 23 at City Hall. Openly gay Los Angeles City Councilmember Bill Rosendahl officiated. Viscarra told correspondent Karen Ocamb that the couple felt "rushed because of the fear of the election decision."

appear at the main event. Etheridge agreed to sing at the wedding of one couple who donated $50,000. San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom told the crowd, "This is the last great civil rights movement." Other attendees included Lt. Gov. John Garamendi; Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa; California Attorney General Jerry Brown; actor Rob Reiner and his wife, Michele; Streisand's husband, James Brolin; American Beauty producer Bruce Cohen and his husband, Gabriel Catone; California Assemblymen Mark Leno and Fabian Núñez; actor David Hyde Pierce; Brothers & Sisters executive producer Greg Berlanti; and philanthropist David Bohnett. Recent polls have shown Prop 8 both winning and losing. The newest poll, a Public Policy Institute of California poll released Oct. 22, found that voters will reject the amendment by a margin of 52 to 44 percent. The telephone survey of 2,004 California adults had a margin of error of 3 percent for likely voters and 2 percent overall. That poll followed several others that showed Prop 8 passing, which themselves followed several earlier polls that showed it losing. Gay campaigners say the flip-flopping is a function of how often each side can afford to spam the airwaves with their ads. Donations can be made at • G A Y L I F E • O c t o b e r 1 6 - O c t o b e r 3 1 , 2 0 0 8 • PA G E 7

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Gay activists and others protested outside a downtown Louisville McDonald's on Oct. 10 after an employee called a group of gay customers "faggots" and a supervisor said the incident was no "big deal" and refused to refund the customers' money. Fairness campaign photo

Gays Protest at Louisville McDonald's Gay activists and others protested outside a downtown Louisville McDonald's on Oct. 10 after an employee called a group of gay customers "faggots" and a supervisor said the incident was no "big deal" and refused to refund the customers' money. "For any business to treat its gay customers this way is beyond the pale," said protester Becca O'Neill from the University of Louisville's Lambda Law Caucus. The demonstrators carried signs reading, "Discrimination Don't Belong in a Happy Meal," "Homophobia Served Here" and "NOT Lovin' It." "We have a law against anti-gay discrimination in Louisville, but we want people to know that these incidents still happen and that businesses that take part in this kind of illegal discrimination will be held accountable," said Jeff Rodgers, co-coordinator of the Fairness Campaign. Ryan Marlatt, Teddy Eggers and three friends had stopped for lunch at the East Market Street McDonald's on July 26. As they waited for their food, an employee referred to them as "faggots" to another employee. Marlatt and Eggers asked to speak with a manager, who then refused to refund the group's purchase. Marlatt said he attempted several times in the following weeks to contact the general manager of the restaurant and the corporate offices, but got no response. The group seeks an apology, a refund of $28 and disciplinary action against the employees involved.

GLAAD Targets Museum of Broadcast Communications The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation wants Chicago's Museum of Broadcast Communications to abort the induction of the Focus on the Family radio program into the National Radio Hall of Fame on Nov. 8. "Either the members of the steering committee don't know who James Dobson is and of the hurtful and defamatory things he says about LGBT people, or they just don't care," the group said on its Web site. "Among his many false claims,

Dobson has said being gay 'has to do with an identity crisis that occurs too early to remember it' and that gay people 'have as many as 300 to 1,000 partners in a lifetime.' He has also falsely claimed that committed gay couples 'cannot be a family' and that allowing them to get married would 'destroy the family,'" GLAAD said. "James Dobson doesn't deserve to be honored for his lies and distortions aimed to hurt and marginalize LGBT people." Inductees are nominated by the National Radio Hall of Fame & Museum Steering Committee, which includes radio executives, academ-

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ics, trade journalists and others interested in radio's history. Dobson and Focus on the Family were selected in the category of "a broadcaster who has made at least a 20-year contribution to the radio industry and has distinguished him/herself at the local and/or regional level." GLAAD urges activists to phone and e-mail complaints to the museum. For more information, see

San Diego County DA Marries Republican San Diego County District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis and her partner of 11 years, Denise Neleson, recently got married in Monterey, Calif., The San Diego Union-Tribune reported. "We were glad to have the opportunity to get married. We hope people in the future will have that opportunity," Dumanis told the newspaper. On Nov. 4, voters will have a chance to amend the state constitution to re-ban same-sex marriage, which was legalized by the state Supreme Court in a ruling that took effect in June. Dumanis' mother and Neleson's father attended the wedding.

Bette Midler Campaigns for Obama at Vegas Gay Bar Gay icon Bette Midler campaigned for Barack Obama at the Las Vegas gay club Krave on Oct. 20, the Las Vegas Review-Journal reported. Dressed in a leopard-print minidress, Midler told the crowd of some 1,200: "I am so distressed about this election, oh my God. I haven't left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly." She said Obama has moved her more than any other candidate in her lifetime. "I come from an extremely poor family," she said. "I know I look divine now, but I was not always divine. ... I had big dreams. You know me. You've watched me for 40 frickin' years. Every single dream I had my entire life came true. Barack Obama says only in America could his story happen, and I totally understand because only in America could my story happen." She urged the crowd to work their connections to elect Obama. "I know you have gigantic networks because I know all of you," she said. "Your friends, your family, old boyfriends, new boyfriends, people you slept with, people you hope to sleep with—do me a favor, call

every single one of them, say, 'Vote for Barack Obama!'"

Connecticut Residents Support Same-Sex Marriage Decision A Hartford Courant/University of Connecticut poll has found that 53 percent of state residents support the Oct. 10 state Supreme Court decision that legalized same-sex marriage, and 42 percent don't like it. Among Democrats, 72 percent support it while, among Republicans, 69 percent oppose it. The poll of 502 adult residents had a margin of error of 4.4 percentage points. In a 4-3 decision, the Connecticut justices said denying same-sex couples equal access to marriage violated the state constitution's guarantee of equal protection under the law. "Interpreting our state constitutional provisions in accordance with firmly established equal protection principles leads inevitably to the conclusion that gay people are entitled to marry," the decision said. "To decide otherwise would require us to apply one set of constitutional principles to gay persons and another to all others." The ruling is expected to take effect around Nov. 7. Same-sex marriage also is legal in California, Massachusetts, Belgium, Canada, the Netherlands, South Africa and Spain—and will become legal in Norway in January. There is no residency requirement to get married in the three U.S. states or Canada.

Allan Spear Dies Allan Spear, the first openly gay male legislator in U.S. history, died Oct. 11 in Minneapolis from complications following heart surgery. He was 71. Spear came out in an article published in the Minneapolis Star in 1974. He was first elected to the state Senate in 1972 and served until his retirement in 2000, the last eight years as Senate president. Spear also taught history at the University of Minnesota for 36 years and wrote a notable 1967 book, Black Chicago: The Making of a Negro Ghetto, 1890-1920. He is survived by his life partner, Junjiro Tsuji. Services. Groups. Events. Our calendar is now online. • G A Y L I F E • O c t o b e r 3 1 - N o v e m b e r 1 4 , 2 0 0 8 • PA G E 9

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INTERNATIONAL NEWS by Rex Wockner with Bill Kelley

Austrian Far-Right Leader Leaves Gay Bar, Dies in Car Crash Jörg Haider, governor of Austria's Carinthia province and a leader among far-right European politicians, crashed his car and died after leaving a gay bar in the city of Klagenfurt Oct. 11. Police said his blood-alcohol level was more than three times the legal limit for driving. Haider, 58, was married with children, though rumors had swirled for years that he was secretly gay. He had been outed by gay activists and newspapers that included Britain's The Guardian, Germany's Die Tageszeitung and Austria's Der Standard. Britain's Telegraph said Haider's "charismatic populism was instrumental in moving anti-immigrant politics from Europe's fringes towards the mainstream and breaking the grip on government of established centrist parties which he said had lost touch with the people." From 2000 to 2002, the Freedom Party, which Haider briefly headed during that period, was half of a governing coalition in Austria. Critics viewed Haider as an ultranationalist, extremist, racist xenophobe. In 1995, the U.S. AntiDefamation League accused him of making "numerous statements utilizing Holocaust terminology or legitimizing Nazi policy and activities." Haider routinely disparaged the European Union, of which Austria is a member.

Portuguese Parliament Rejects Same-Sex Marriage Two draft laws to legalize same-sex marriage were rejected overwhelmingly by the Portuguese Parliament on Oct. 10. The measures, proposed by the Left Bloc and the Green Party, were opposed by the governing Socialist Party, the Social Democratic Party and the People's Party. The Left Bloc bill also would have allowed samesex couples to adopt. The Green Party bill would not have. Bloc and Green MPs abstained from voting on each other's bills. During the vote, gay rights groups staged two "weddings" in a Parliament stairway, attracting wide media coverage. The ruling Socialists have said they will not support same-sex marriage until there is a broad national debate on the matter. "Given that one of the main arguments of the (Socialists) to vote against the proposed amendments was that (same-sex marriage) was not in (their) election program, difficult times in the struggle for equality in access to civil marriage are expected in Portugal," said the news portal A recent public-opinion poll found 42 percent support for same-sex marriage and 53 percent opposition.

Portugal has a de facto partnership law that grants limited rights to unmarried couples who have lived together for more than two years, in areas such as income tax, tenancy and immigration.

Norwegian Church will Not Marry Gays when Law Takes Effect Norway will become the seventh nation to grant same-sex couples access to full marriage in January, but the dominant Church of Norway will not marry gays, the state church's bishops said Oct. 8. Pastors will be permitted to offer prayers for gay couples who get married but may not bless them, the bishops said. Same-sex marriage also is allowed in Belgium, Canada, the Netherlands, South Africa, Spain and, in the U.S., California, Connecticut and Massachusetts.

Britain's armed forces lifted their gay ban in 2000 on orders from the European Court of Human Rights.

Dutch Men on Trial for Deliberate HIV Transmission Three men from Groningen, Netherlands, are on trial for deliberately infecting at least 12 other men with HIV, several news agencies reported. Hans Jurgens, 39, Peter Mulder, 50, and Wim Dekker, 49, allegedly advertised gay sex parties online, lured participants to their location, then drugged them, raped them and injected them with HIV-positive blood. Prosecutors want the trio to be jailed for between eight and 15 years.

Officials in Tambov, Russia, Block Gay Events After initially giving a verbal OK, city officials in Tambov, Russia, reversed course and officially blocked the city's first planned gay demonstrations Oct. 9. City Hall decided the city's residents did not approve of the events (a demonstration and a march), that police couldn't secure them and that they would cause traffic troubles. Moscow activist Nikolai Alekseev, who was involved in planning the actions, said the decision violates the Russian Constitution and the European Convention on Human Rights, and that organizers will pursue legal redress. Earlier this year, Tambov Mayor Oleg Betin reportedly said: "Tolerance? To hell! Faggots should be torn apart and their pieces thrown to the wind." Tambov is about 300 miles (500 km) southeast of Moscow and has a population of about 292,000.

Head of British Army Addresses Gay Conference The head of Britain's army, Gen. Richard Dannatt, chief of the general staff, made history by addressing a gay conference in London Oct. 9, The Sunday Telegraph reported. In remarks to the Fourth Joint Conference on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transsexual Matters, Dannatt said that respecting GLBT officers and soldiers is "a command responsibility" that is mandatory to ensure "operational effectiveness." "We have made real progress in our understanding of equality and diversity in the military context, and there is a desire to achieve more yet," he said. "Respect for others is not an optional extra, it is a command responsibility and an essential part of leadership, teamwork and operational effectiveness."

Gay rights groups staged mock weddings as the Portuguese Parliament voted down two same-sex marriage bills Oct. 10. Photo:

Polish Gay March OK'd, then Banned Officials in Krakow, Poland, OK'd an Oct. 31 gay march, then turned around and banned it after Polish President Lech Kaczynski announced plans to attend a celebration of the anniversary of Krakow's independence the same day. Gay groups planned to march to the grave of King Wladyslaw III, who they claim was gay, on the anniversary of his death. City officials had said they were fine with the two events occurring simultaneously but, after Kaczynski's announcement, they banned all other street events and demonstrations for the day and said the king's grave would be closed. "It is hard to say (if) Kaczynski (is) in Krakow to ban our march or just to be part of Krakow's event," said activist Lukasz Palucki. "Information about our meeting was in the biggest Polish media so I am sure he knew about our march." In 2007, gay pride organizers in Warsaw won a European Court of Human Rights case against Kaczynski, who, as mayor of Warsaw, banned the 2005 pride parade. Kaczynski has said that if homosexuality "were to be promoted on a grand scale, the human race would disappear" and that he opposes "propagating gay orientation."

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You have lived a full life with a very incredible trajectory— from farm boy to cabaret performer and actress, community organizer to national leader. Can you speak briefly on this evolution? It is impossible to speak in brief terms regarding the varied trajectory of my life. However, it has broadened my mind and experience, given me purpose, proved my worth, strengthened me, put fear into me, challenged my sense of self. As success was achieved, more people than just I were positively affected.

You were a film and television actress before becoming involved in politics. What was it like navigating the theatrical/entertainment world as a transgender individual almost 20 years ago?

From the Streets to Parliament:

The Showbiz world has always appealed to me. I wanted it as a career, so I was excited to be involved in film, TV and theatre. For the most part, I was typecast as a "lady of the night” or [played] transgendered roles, but they were stories worth telling, of quality, that began to introduce GLBT lives and issues into New Zealand living rooms. I’m glad, in the New Zealand context, to have played a part.

Among its 31 Icons, GLBT History Month Honors Georgina Beyer, 1st Transgender Member of a National Legislature

You have pointed to your being raped by 4 men during a trip to Australia as a defining moment in your life. How did this act of horrendous violence become a motivating rather than debilitating factor in your personal life?

Every October, Equality Forum, a nonprofit civil rights group that advances GLBT civil rights through education, honors an icon each day of GLBT history month. Among its esteemed list of leaders this year, was Georgina Beyer, a transgender woman who served as a member of Parliament in New Zealand from 1999 through 2007. Once a drag queen and then prostitute in the Wellington nightclub scene, Beyer became an actress before being elected Mayor of Carterton and eventually winning a seat in Parliament. Gay Life spoke with Beyer from her New Zealand home about her past, the challenges of being out as transgender in a national political arena and the progress (and lack thereof) around transgender rights.

My rape experience was horrendous and pushed me to consider suicide. But, once I recovered, I became angered by the injustice of it all—the seemingly futile efforts to go about my own life thwarted by a hate crime that I felt would not be seen as a crime against me [because] I was a sex worker, a tranny. Who would believe me if I sought justice? It ended up positive rather than negative because I wanted to prove that I am a worthy human being, that no person should

endure such crime…and that while I draw breath, I would do what I could to change such negative social attitudes. In a weird way, it gave me a purpose to be the best that I could be…despite adversity.

You are the first transgender individual in the world to be elected both as a mayor and to national office. What do you think contributed to your success? And, what were some of the particular challenges with being transgender in local and national politics? Contributing factors to my electoral success were honesty, ability, commitment and delivering on my campaign pledges. The media were a challenge…having to maintain my credibility constantly because many dismissed me as a one-term wonder, but a fun addition to politics. For some, being transsexual was a lower form of life and, therefore, was not deserving of respect.

You were very open with your constituents about your past and your transition. Why was this so important to you? I will not live a lie, I must be who I am. Therefore, I couldn’t put myself forward for Public Office without electors knowing exactly who I am and my background. It gave me the liberty and freedom to focus on the job at hand, not avoid being outed.

You are also of Maori heritage. How has this informed both your views and other’s views of you? Being Maori has always been a bonus. It is a genetic basis of my being as well as cultural. It has helped me to understand better the struggles of significant minorities.

What were some of the causes you worked most passionately around during your political career and why? Serving my constituents and delivering on big ticket items such as a new hospital, helping to lead economic recovery, etc. were among my passions. Helping to progress the Civil Union Act, the

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Prostitution Reform Act, the De Facto Property Relationships Amendment, and bringing Clarity to Gender Identity in our Human Rights Act…. [I also strive] to use my success as an example for others so that they may work toward equality, and, when possible, share my experience to help empower them. …to prove, against the odds, that we are queer and we are here and we demand equal rights. We can no longer be only tolerated. We must be accepted. Nothing less will do.

Transgender individuals are often left out of the struggle for LGBT rights. What are your comments on the current progress of trans rights, and lack thereof? And, how do begin to close the gap between trans rights across socioeconomic and racial lines? Transgender rights are lagging behind, but much activism is occurring internationally and progress has been made in some jurisdictions. The GLBT community has taught us the value of solidarity in our fight for equality and that now we must include transgender [individuals] at the top of the list to get our full

attention. Much suffering still occurs. We must put aside our own GLBT community’s discrimination and prejudice about each other so that we can address the wider adversity we face. Access to health, education, social services, employment and so on are a major issue for transgender people, but sincere respect would be a good start to further the many issues [that have not] yet progressed. We demand basic human rights and equality in order that we can be positive contributors and participants in society.

You retired from Parliament last year. What have you been doing in the past year, and what are your future plans? I have been looking for well-paid work. I would like to work in TV, but GLBT human rights should be the arena I work in, so as to exploit my experience for the benefit of others…. Also, a bio-pic is to be made about my life by an Australian producer and I would quite like to be a consultant on that project. To find out about the other 30 icons honored during GLBT history month 2008, visit • G A Y L I F E • O c t o b e r 3 1 - N o v e m b e r 1 4 , 2 0 0 8 • PA G E 1 3

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Wedding Annoucement Rev. David Smith and Michael R. Barnard Wed in California, October 19 The Rev. R. David Smith, Pastor of The Metropolitan Community Church of Baltimore and Michael R. Barnard were wed on the Beach at Belmont Shores, Long Beach, California, on Sunday, October 19, under the laws of the State of California. The Rev. Sandy Turnbull of Glory Tabernacle Christian Center conducted the ceremony for Smith and Barnard and three other couples from Maryland and Utah at the conclusion of the 2008 All Nation's Gathering. Clips from the conference are available on YouTube. Barnard and Smith met at a church conference in 1986 in Richmond Virginia and became a couple on Memorial Day weekend of that year. Smith has been pastor of MCC Baltimore since May of 1994 and Barnard is employed by the United States Government. A reception will be held in the couples honor at the church Friday evening, November 28. Want to share a marriage announcement, anniversary celebration or obituary with our community? Email images and text (250 words or less) to • G A Y L I F E • O c t o b e r 3 1 - N o v e m b e r 1 4 , 2 0 0 8 • PA G E 1 5

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OPINIONS transmissions It’s not the Transgender Day of Appropriation by Gwendolyn Ann Smith I feel appropriated. This is nothing new for transgender folks. Every time I see a “T” tacked onto the end of an organization that doesn’t actually have any outreach to transgender people—or even an understanding of what that “T” means—I feel it. When I see allies who are trying to talk for us without actually finding out what it is we want or need, I feel it. Of course, I feel it each and every time the Human Rights Campaign decides to send out a mailer asking me for money to help their fight for “GLBT Americans” while supporting the cutting of transpeople from

major bills like the Employment Non-Discrimination Act. Not like they actually usually opt to include transgender on those glossy mailers promoting the HRC credit card, for example. “Transgender” was ignored by many groups, and actively resisted by many others. As transgender people have become more visible, more accepted by the mainstream, and have gained their own clout, we’re seeing more and more wanting to speak for us, co-opting our own voices into their agenda whether or not we like it.

Take a deep breath… It’s a busy world, to say the least. Whenever we find ourselves multi-tasking - whether out of choice, necessity, or habit - our bodies, minds and emotions race in many directions at once. For many of us, this high-speed, chronically stressful engagement begins the moment we awaken until we collapse back into bed at night. We can’t sustain this level of constant busy-ness without experiencing negative consequences, and often we find ourselves feeling scattered, depleted, and breathless. It’s important to create time to slow down and re-center ourselves regularly in order to return to a place of physical, mental, emotional, and subtle balance. Hatha Yoga practice links deep, regular, soothing breathing with gentle, fluid, mindful movement to return body, mind, emotions, and spirit back to a place of balance and wellness. Join Certified Yoga Instructors Tim Hurley and Kelly D, McClain each week at the Center for Gentle Beginner Yoga and enjoy the priceless benefits of feeling balanced, centered, and deeply relaxed. Classes are held on Sundays at 3:30 p.m. and Wednesdays at 7:15 p.m. (please arrive a few minutes early) in Room 201 at the Center. Classes cost $9.00 each, and a portion of that cost is donated back to the Center. For more information, check the Programs link at or call 410-837-5445.

A decade ago, spurred on by the then recent murder of Rita Hester and the similarities of this death to that of Chanelle Pickett, I began the Remembering Our Dead project. Out of this began the Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR). TDOR grew into an international event, hosted in several different countries, within the virtual world of Second Life, and even at the high school a few blocks away from my home. It became the very first fortransgender-by-transgender event to be honored every year. Roughly five years ago, the event had grown to the point where it began to get notice in the press. It wasn’t long before the national LGBT groups decided to support the event, sending out press releases and the like on November 20th in an effort to attach themselves with the cause. I personally did not have a great problem with this, if only because it helps people hear about the issue in the first place. The goal, after all, is to prevent deaths like those of Hester, Pickett and others from happening yet again. These deaths, by the way, still happen at an average of two-a-month. The Gay Lesbian Straight Educators Network, or GLSEN, then became a lead sponsor. They provided the means to get the event into high schools and other locations. Given that the issue of transgender murder was beginning to heavily effect youth, this seemed a wise partnership. Around the same time, HRC began to get more involved. This continued in the way of their selling out of transgender people in ENDA, as they began to drop a lot of apology money into the community. They even decided to host their own Transgender Day of Remembrance event in Washington, D.C.—to the displeasure of local organizers. They ended up curtailing that event after it became clear how upset the local— and national—community was. GLSEN had gone one step further than HRC. Beginning a Transgender Day of Action on November 21st, as a way to replace the Transgender Day of Remembrance with an event they can more clearly control is a slap in the face to those who have worked so hard on TDOR events in the past, as well as those who have held events under the name

“Transgender Day of Action” during pride month. It also does a disservice to those killed, relegating them to a secondary status yet again. In a statement about the event, a GLSEN representative talked about taking action against bullies. That is fine and well. I’m taking action against those who would opt to bully transgender people and take their events from them. Like what happened to HRC, many transgender people explained very clearly to GLSEN exactly why trying to undo Transgender Day of Remembrance in order to make their “Action” event was a Very Bad Thing. To GLSEN’s credit, they listened, and they will now support TDOR instead. Their Day of Action will go elsewhere. I appreciate them moving fast on this, but it should not have happened in the first place. Could they not see that it might be a bad idea, and people would rightfully feel as if they were co-opting a transgender event for their own gain? Isn’t it obvious? Over decades, transgender people have faced this. Stonewall became the pivotal moment in the gay rights struggle, forgetting that it was two transgender people who started things. People form the past who we might call transgender today were co-opted by the larger gay and lesbian communities. Female impersonation was fine for fun, for fundraising, and for letting freak flags fly— but transgender people had to fight to even be allowed a seat at the table in most organizations. We’re still not considered equal in much of the queer media, in most LGBT rights organizations and in the community as a whole. That we still have to argue inclusion belies that. For myself, I like being included. I think we have a lot to share, and frankly, I feel we’re all on the same team here. We face the same sort of discrimination, whether it is for being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. Yet, if you are going to include us, give us a fair shake. Don’t try to take what few institutions we have and appropriate them. Gwen Smith is the founder of the Transgender Day of Remembrance. You can find her on the web at

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Que(e)rying the Candidates

by Rev. Irene Monroe epending on which media outlets you tune into for “fair and balanced” reporting on the election campaign’s presidential candidates, Senator Barack Obama can’t do any wrong and Senator John McCain can’t do any right. Or, Obama is spun as an elitist erudite, and McCain’s a swashbuckling maverick. The V.P. hopefuls— Senator Joe Biden and Governor Sarah Palin—are not spared from the “info-tainment” and insults, either.


While the 2008 election coverage has been nonstop in providing excitement, so much political theater gets exhausting over time. With just under a month before we cast our ballots, the only thing many voters know is that we don’t know what we need to know about our candidates: Where they stand on the issues of LGBTQ rights, women’s rights, the war, the economy and the environment tend to get lost in the political game of one-upmanship before the camera. With just two weeks before the big day, a focused look at their legislative track records tells another story.

Gay Electorate on the Cheap LGBTQ issues have been on the down-low in this election campaign. Both Log Cabin Republicans and Stonewall Democrats need to clarify why we should stay with political parties that manage to convince us that no time is the right time to push our singular issues to the forefront, leaving behind matters such as marriage equality.  Marriage is a litmus test not only for those seeking our support, but also for our government to honestly say that it grants equal rights to all its citizens. Democracy can only begin to work when those relegated to the fringes of society can begin to

sample what those in the rest of society take for granted as their inalienable right. The gap between heterosexual marriage and un-recognized same-sex partnerships include more than 1,100 rights and protections, such as Social Security benefits, veterans’ benefits, health insurance, Medicaid, hospital visitation, estate taxes, retirement savings, pensions, family leave and immigration law, to name a few. This election is no different than any other, in that no candidate has attempted to grant these rights and protections under the name of “marriage”. John McCain voted “No” on a constitutional ban of same-sex marriage, but he emphatically believes the institution of marriage is the union between one man and one woman. This old school position is not surprising coming from McCain, but what’s up with Palin, Biden and Obama?


United WE ARE A TRANSGENDER GROUP THAT FIGHTS FOR YOUR RESOURCES AND POLITICAL RIGHTS First & Third Sundays 6 - 8 p.m. GLCCB, 241 W. Chase St. E-MAIL: PHONE: 443-904-3401 or 443-904-3401

While Palin boasts that some of her best friends are gay, she doesn’t support anything pro-queer—marriage, spousal benefits for state employees of same-sex couples, the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), gays in the military, LGBTQ adoption and hate crime legislation. Why not hate crimes? “I believe all heinous crime is based on hate,” she told the Anchorage Daily News.  When asked during the V.P. debate if she supported equal benefits for same-sex couples, Palin gave a provisional “Yes”. “Well, not if it goes closer and closer towards redefining the traditional definition of marriage between one man and one woman.... I will tell Americans straight up that I don’t support defining marriage as anything but between one man and one woman, and I think through nuances we can go round and round about what that actually means.” The Democratic V.P. candidate’s position isn’t much better. During the debate, Biden stated he would grant same-sex benefits because, “the fact of the matter is that under the Constitution we should be granted…same-sex couples should be able to have visitation rights in the hospitals, joint ownership of property, life insurance policies, et cetera. That’s only fair. It’s what the Constitution calls for.” But when asked if he supported same-sex mar- • G A Y L I F E • O c t o b e r 3 1 - N o v e m b e r 1 4 , 2 0 0 8 • PA G E 1 9

He e

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k. ly ucks oses ead to ate. ll in e man face s out oor as s in


The Daze & the Maze of Dead-Ends: One Path to Happiness Ask him what type of food he likes and you find the restaurant. It is important that you select the restaurant because if you allow him to select the restaurant, there is a chance he may choose one you do not like. Follow-up. Why can’t we just agree on a restaurant?

by David Placher n life, there are many questions that we ask when seeking that special someone. We search for answers from friends, family and even strangers. Over the years, I have both asked questions and provided answers to questions for people searching for that special someone. I have assembled a short list


There is a hot guy, but I think he is out-ofmy-league. Should I approach him? Absolutely! Nothing ventured, nothing gained. The worst case scenario is that he tells you no. I gave this guy my telephone number and he never called. What should I do? There are three ways to look at this: (1) he lost your number; (2) he found someone else he liked more that night; and (3) he is not interested. Before you automatically jump to number 3, my suggestion would be to ask around and find his contact information. Contact him once, and only once. If he doesn’t respond, he was not interested. Move on fast. Don’t rethink the situation—life is too short. I gave this guy my telephone number and he called. I was not interested in him. What do I do? Tell him and be polite. For example, say “It was a pleasure meeting you, but I am not interested. There are several others. Just keep looking.” We both agreed on a date. How do I lay the foundation for a successful date?

Those types of discussions could lead to one person agreeing on a place in order to satisfy the other. Just make a decision and if he doesn’t like the restaurant, apologize to him over dinner. My guess is that if the date is going well, it will overshadow his dissatisfaction with the restaurant. What happens if I show up intoxicated to the date? If it is a Monday-Friday night, you will look like a complete loser that probably drinks on the job. If it is a Saturday or Sunday night, you will look like someone ready for fun. Maybe? If he starts to become obnoxious or starts whining on the first date, what do I do? Tell him. Who pays for dinner? Who asked? If you asked him, you pay. If he asked you, he pays. This rule only applies to the first date. What do we do after dinner? Get dessert, walk around the city or go to a small bar. You need as much communication as possible. Do not get dessert at the same place you had dinner. Should we go to a movie? NO! Movies on a first date do not go over well because it takes away from interpersonal communication. How much tactile communication should unfold on the first date? Take it as far as you are comfort-

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(Let’s Have A Conversation)

Uncomfortable Conversations that Hold Truth lions of dollars to leave a company.... I’m gagging over the greed of so few who hurt so many. I wish that they had started jumping out of windows again like they did in the 1930's.... F@#k em! Lol

by Marvelous Marva see no reason not to make this column about politics when, if you have a television or half a brain, it has certainly been the meat of topics lately.... You cannot avoid or ignore it.


There’s much to comment on. Recent events have triggered strong emotions, intrigued our thoughts, formed new opinions, opened our eyes, caused shock and confirmed facts—good, bad & sad ones.... I’m not sure where to begin, so I’ll share my opinion and thoughts on as many topics as possible. It’s all been extremely exciting!

700 Billion Dollars Help me to understand why we the taxpayers had to give a $700 billion dollar bail out/rescue/ whatever the f@#k the new name is... to help the mess created by Wall Street Crooks and geniuses who always know what’s good for our money like the former Federal reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan.... You remember him when he could change interest rates and everybody listened when he commented on mortgages, stocks and investments. Now, he and others are in a state of shock and disbelief as if they just don’t understand what happened. He was supposed to be a wise, very smart man.... Well, let this girl from Harlem tell you what you already know happened.... Three things caused the mess— corruption, greed & thievery. Now everybody knows.... A great example is $700 Billion dollars towards the CEOs, COOs & CFOs etc. of these huge companies’ multi-million dollar bonuses. I wish somebody would give my ass and the rest of us mil-

Here’s what really baffles me: Why is giving $700 Billion dollars to Wall Street called a Bail Out, but a stimulus package costing $120 Billion Dollars that would give millions of Americans a few hundred dollars is called Welfare? And they’re still thinking about whether doing it is a good idea. That is what’s called politically mind-f@#k@#g Americans.... We everyday people are made to feel bad about helping those who need help--like the middle class--but we had to hurry up and give Wall Street $700 Billion Dollars inside of two weeks to help fix the economy that they f@#k@d up.

Sarah Palin When McCain picked her for his running mate, it was awful judgment on his part. I said she was a joke and I was not wrong. I find her insulting to women with a brain.... She has used sarcasm, condescending comments, lies, jokes, reverse psychology and every other silly fake out move she can come up with... to throw Americans off from just how unqualified, uninformed, stupid and disgustingly unprepared for the position of Vice President she is... not to mention that the VP’s most important duty is being ready.... She’s just a heartbeat away from filling the position as president should something happen to McCain’s old ass.

Here’s good judgment for you They spend $150K in less than two months dressing her ass up. What hockey mom, what middle class woman or man spends 150k on clothing ever? She is a joke and always has been...and every time she opens her mouth, the only thing you hear is: “I love visiting small town America.” Somebody needs to tell her that spending 150K at Saks Fifth Avenue, Neiman Marcus & Macy’s is not in small town Americans’ budget... and that spending over $4700 on hair and make-up is also out of the question for small town continued on page 26 • G A Y L I F E • O c t o b e r 3 1 - N o v e m b e r 1 4 , 2 0 0 8 • PA G E 2 1

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riage he emphatically stated, “No”. To confuse matters more, in 1996, Biden supported the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). There are two components of DOMA: First, it says that no state shall be required to recognize the laws of another state in regard to same-sex marriage; second, it defines the words “marriage” and “spouse” in Federal Law. Biden also voted against the Federal Marriage Amendment, a proposed amendment that would limit marriage to unions between one man and one woman. ‘Scuse us? But Biden wants the LGBTQ community to know he’s a staunch supporter on all our other issues, including: ENDA, hate crime legislation, LGBTQ adoption and support services for HIV/AIDS. In fact, Biden was chairman of the Foreign Relations Committee, which helped pass the President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief (PEPFAR)—which included a clause that repealed the controversial travel and immigration ban on people living with HIV. And he was also a co-sponsor of the original Ryan White Care Act. Joe Biden supports lifting the ban on LGBTQ people serving in the military. And, in a debate at Saint Anselm College in June 2007, Biden stated: “Let me tell you something. Nobody asked anybody else whether they’re gay in those foxholes. Our allies, the British, the French, all our major allies, gays openly serve.... This is ridiculous.” Right-wing talking heads may have warned Massachusetts residents that legalizing such an ungodly act as same-sex marriage would not only bring about the death of the institution of marriage, but it would also bring about the demise of civilization. Many also said the righteous hand of God would stop samesex marriage with ugly protests, with town clerks engaging in civil disobedience by refusing to issue licenses, and with last-minute unavoidable and inexplicable legal snafus. But none of that happened. And guess what—the sky didn’t fall either! Ugly rhetoric against same-sex marriage is all too similar to this country’s legal battle against miscegenation. And here are the three arguments used: First, like the judges who were against interracial marriage, judges against same-sex marriage have claimed that marriage belongs under the control of the states rather than the federal government. Second, just as antimiscegenation judges defined and labeled interracial relationships as illicit sex, so too do anti-marriage equality judges. Third, anti-misce-

genation judges insisted that interracial marriage was contrary to God’s will. Now let’s talk Barack. He too has been an “Obama-nation” on marriage equality. As a former civil rights lawyer, the progeny of biracial parentage, and the beneficiary of the 1967 U.S. Supreme Court that declared anti-miscegenation laws unconstitutional in the case of Loving v. Virginia, Obama ought to know better. Yet if there’s one issue he “flip-flops” on, it’s the issue of marriage equality.  Against: He’s cited societal preparedness. “I am somebody who has not embraced gay marriage. I’ve said that it’s not something that I think the society is necessarily ready for. And it strikes me that in a lot of ways for a lot a people, it may intrude in how they understand marriage,” Obama stated on CNN’s Larry King Live in 2006. Formerly against, later for: He’s cited religion. “I was reminded that it is my obligation not only as an elected official in a pluralistic society, but also as a Christian, to remain open to the possibility that my unwillingness to support gay marriage is misguided,” Obama wrote in his 2006 memoir, The Audacity of Hope. Both: Obama went Shakespearean at the August 2007 HRC-Logo candidates’ forum invoking, “what’s in a name?” “As I proposed [civil unions], it wouldn’t be a lesser thing [than marriage] from my perspective,” he told the panel. When asked why he supports civil unions and not marriage, Obama said the difference is merely one of nomenclature. “Semantics may be important to some. From my perspective, what I’m interested [in] is making sure that those legal rights are available to people.” We’ll take all of those rights, nomenclature and all, thank you very much. Marriage equality in this country is one of the prisms through which democracy tends to splinter. Obama may sound like he sees the light, but unfortunately what he stands for is not equality. 

Lipstick Issues Women’s issues have never been so exciting—and so frightening—in a presidential campaign until this August when McCain picked Palin as his running mate. Viewed by many women Democrats as the G.O.P.’s drag queen, lip-synching the party’s rhetoric, Palin may be the one to do what Hillary Clinton and Geraldine Ferraro couldn’t—break through the “18 million cracks” in America’s political glass ceiling. But the moose-hunting, gun-toting hock-

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COMING FROM WHERE I’M FROM by Nicole Bettis lot of us have questions about relationships, coming out and family issues, but we just don’t feel comfortable talking to the people in our circle. The fear of being judged and mistreated is enough to stop any of us from seeking the advice we need. I know. I’ve been there. I didn’t have a space where I was free to ask whatever I wanted and to receive great feedback, but you do. This article is dedicated to you. You can ask absolutely anything you want from, “How do I tell her that I like her?” to “When do I tie the knot?” You can even write in anonymously. It's totally up to you. There are no limits. In each issue you will receive advice from yours truly and maybe even realize that there is someone out there in your exact situation. If I haven’t been there, I know someone who has. Coming from where I’m from, that means a lot.


“My girlfriend says that because I’m the dominant female in our relationship, it’s only fair that I ALWAYS pick up the tab. Is this true?” Raven, 22, female Washington, DC This is classic! Women make a big fuss about equal rights and equal pay. Then, when we get them, we still assume that the man or more dominant person has to always pay for everything. Where is the logic in that? I say, relationships are equal, thus everything involved should be shared equally…the tab included! If your girlfriend never wants to pick up the tab, she should never eat out! “My girlfriend always wants me to use a “strap”. Do you think she really wants a man sexually?” Shawna 28, female Baltimore, MD No, not at all. Some women just like penetration. Simple. But, if your find yourself developing feelings or insecurities about using it, just let her know how you feel. I’m sure the both of you can find some kind of common ground where you both are satisfied. “I need a date and I keep running in to losers! Wtf? Why do I seem to attract the wrong crowd?” Anonymous, 30, male Springfield, MD

you a little too judgmental? How do you separate losers from the rest of us? Do you think you are better than other people? How are you dressed? Once you answer these questions HONESTLY, you can determine if you truly do attract losers or you have some kind of superiority complex. “Nikki, my lover is twenty-one and I’m afraid that I just can’t keep up with him. Should I just break-up with him to spare myself the pain of losing him to a younger man, or should I just get some Viagra and a red bull and knock his socks off (smile)?” Thomas, 39, male White Marsh, MD First you should talk to your lover and see if your sexual performance is lacking in his eyes, then you can go from there…. Inquire about what his needs and wants are and decide if you are able to fulfill them, with or without Viagra (smile).

ATTENTION! Opinions expressed are those of the writers and do not necessarily represent the opinions of the GLCCB or Gay Life.

Well, first look in the mirror. Are • G A Y L I F E • O c t o b e r 3 1 - N o v e m b e r 1 4 , 2 0 0 8 • PA G E 2 3

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ey mom of five has the worst record on women’s issues of all four candidates, including McCain’s. Even the National Organization of Women has refused to support her. Palin has a consistent pro-life record. She opposes abortion even in the case of rape and incest, and only approves of an abortion if the mother’s life is in jeopardy. In a recent interview on CBS Evening News, Katie Couric asked Palin, “If a 15year-old is raped by her father, do you believe it should be illegal for her to get an abortion, and why?” Palin replied, “I am pro-life. And I’m unapologetic in my position that I am pro-life…. I would counsel to choose life. I would also like to see a culture of life in this country.” Palin has been applauded for choosing to give birth to her now 4month-old baby with Down Syndrome, and supported overturning the U.S. Supreme Court case Roe v. Wade, which legalized abortion in 1973. Her running mate also opposes abortion, but unlike Palin, McCain will bend on the issue if a woman is raped, is a victim of incest or if her health is in danger. Both McCain and Palin oppose “partial-birth abortion” and public funding of abortions and organizations that perform or advocate abortion. If elected, McCain plans to overturn  Roe v. Wade stating that he will “nominate judges who understand that courts should not be in the business of legislating from the bench.” Biden, a practicing Catholic, personally opposes abortion but has stated, “I don’t think I have a right to impose my view on the rest of society.” Biden has consistently voted in favor of reproductive rights, receiving a 100% voting record three years running from National Abortion and Reproductive Rights Action League (NARAL). Obama has a consistent pro-choice record. He has voted against banning “partial-birth abortion”, and has pledged federal funding for abortion. Obama opposes any constitutional amendment to overturn Roe v. Wade. The candidates are all fairly predictable on their sex education stances. Obama supports a comprehensive approach to sex education that focuses on abstinence, but recognizes the need for age-appropriate education to reduce the risk of teen pregnancy. He believes “that contraception has to be part of the education process.” Biden voted in favor of spending $100 million to fund contraceptives and education in order to reduce teen pregnancy.

McCain and Palin, however, advocate for increased funding for abstinence-only programs, and cutting funding for family planning and teen pregnancy prevention programs. Palin goes as far as to oppose teaching children about any form of contraception in schools. In reality, that hasn’t worked too well for her: In case you haven’t heard, Palin’s unwed 17-year-old daughter is pregnant. With women earning only 77 cents for every full-time workingman’s dollar, pay equity is still a huge issue. Women’s wage gaps continue to undervalue our work regardless of race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, educational status and occupation. When HR 2831, the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, was introduced, Obama and Joe Biden supported the bill, while McCain did not. Palin has made a public statement that she agrees with McCain’s refusal to support the HR 2831 bill. Obama, on the other hand, has introduced the Fair Pay Restoration Act, an act that allows victims of pay discrimination to sue. McCain did not support this act. Obama and McCain both propose to invest in women-owned small businesses (WOSB) by enacting more policies to reduce discrimination in lending practices. Both passed Senate Bill S 3077 Strengthening Transparency and Accountability in Federal Spending Act of 2008, which would publicly disclose all recipients of federal funding and financial assistance. Astonishingly during the Biden/Palin debate, women’s issues were scantly touched on. And, if you were not listening closely, you would have missed this topic all together. More amazing was that the moderator, PBS’s Gwen Ifill, a noted African-American female journalist, never broached the topic head-on by asking the candidates questions concerning women. Only Biden briefly mentioned Roe v. Wade. And though Biden authored the Violence Against Women Act, he did not take the time to stress the significance of the bill.

It’s the Economy, Stupid! In the face of financial Armageddon, the economy has finally become the center of the campaign. Obama’s economic stimulus plan would enact a windfall profits tax on excessive oil company profits, giving families an immediate $1,000 emergency energy rebate. His plan would also create a $25 billion State Growth Fund to prevent state and local cuts in health, education, housing and heating assistance, or increases in property taxes, tolls or fees. Biden continued on page 28 • G A Y L I F E • O c t o b e r 3 1 - N o v e m b e r 1 4 , 2 0 0 8 • PA G E 2 5

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Americans. Palin draws crowds of people who want to see the clown.... Among her most damaging remarks have been: “Obama pals around with terrorists.” She’ll say anything to take the focus off of herself and onto what she knows little of... like the economy. She’s unable to name a single magazine that she reads... or any supreme court decision other than Roe vs. Wade. She called the wars we are in a task from God.... She didn’t even know what the VP does after being asked the question 4 times and once by a third grader. She lied about saying “thanks but no thanks” on the bridge to nowhere several times when she first started with her rallies. Now she just doesn’t bring it up... saying that the VP can be flexible in making policy changes with the Senate.... The list goes on and on when it comes to how stupid she really is. Again, Sarah Palin is a joke.

Joe the Plumber Another joke and probably a plant from the McCain Camp.... Attempting to stump Obama after breaking and pushing his way to the front, this jerk—the so-called plumber—ends up not having a plumber’s license, only reported making 41k on his taxes, owes back taxes, and is nowhere near to being in the position to buy his owner’s company for $250-280k. The root of his question to Obama, who by the way thoroughly answered his question by explaining that his tax plan would better benefit him than John McCain’s tax plan...left this so-called Joe the plumber speechless.... What has led some of us to think that he was a plant is that he said he supports McCain after Obama clearly explained to him the difference. This belief is only strengthened by the fact that McCain brought him up 21 times in the last debate. It just smells a little shitty—either he’s a plant or perhaps McCain is up to his knees in shit and needed a plumber without a license!

Another Disgusting, Made-up Story A McCain campaign volunteer, 20year-old Ashley Todd... who happens to be a white female... made up a story of having been robbed, pinned to the ground, raped and the letter B (for Barack) carved into her face by someone 6'4" man... who happened to be a black male. Two days later she admitted the story was false. The most disgusting part about this whole ordeal is what most of us don’t like and feel uncomfortable in talking about.... But here is just part of the disgusting reality of what she did. This hoax of hers was nowhere near harmless.... It sparked so many dif-

ferent emotions in people that most of us are trying so hard to move past. Some of what many people felt, including myself, were... shame, intense dislike, hatred, racism, separation along racial lines, profound indignation and sadness. This is how many of us felt for the two days before she said it was a hoax and that she made up the whole story... that she is somehow not stable. She could have caused an outright racial war between blacks and whites. There are still those sad few on both sides who are hot-headed and just looking for reasons to continue hating... I could just cry from the sadness that still hangs over this country. This world is sickening.... Personally, when I heard of what supposedly happened to her, I felt shame because we all indirectly represent each other in a way. I was thoroughly disgusted when considering the impact it could have... not just on Obama, but on all of us. I could only shake my head with disbelief that someone could or would do something so cruel and stupid.’ When the truth came out, I was angry at all this woman did.... I knew it hit the national news. I thought of how many whites heard of what happened and wondered if they would also hear the truth before settling on an opinion. I was hurt that all the progress that we have made collectively as blacks & whites was for two days damaged and destroyed... and could still suffer from the lie.... Some blacks & whites struggle harder than others to get along with each other in harmony.... Some are still angry and hurt from past injustices. Some just don’t trust and were just beginning to think that maybe there was hope. She may have damaged all of that.... Now that she’s simply said it was all a lie.... If you want to see what one awful lie did, just google “Emmitt Till” and take a look at what happened to a 15-year-old young black boy in 1955 because a young white girl told a lie.... Not too long ago, many black men were lynched for outrageous reasons... some because of the lies told by white women. Those pictures and stories still burn in the memories of blacks, especially in the minds of older blacks. When someone thinks it’s only a hoax to tell such a lie, and then wonders why blacks are so sensitive to certain issues… for God’s Sake, Somebody Please Pray For us All.

–Marva! Email me with any questions or comments at Marvelousmarva@baltimore

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able with. The notion that if you go too far, there will not be a second date is wrong.

first date? You probably need help. What happens if he tells me he loves me?

What happens if he tells me I am a good kisser? Do not say, “I have had lots of practice.” You will automatically appear to be a player. Say “thank you”, and keep kissing.

Run! The day after the date, what happens? Nothing. Wait two days before you contact him.


What happens if I tell him I love him on the

What happens if he contacts me the day after the date?

with socks, you ARE a lesbian.

by Mario Fernández

This and That o much to discuss and get caught up on! I take off one issue and the world goes to hell in a hand basket. With Clay Aiken finally coming out (insert yawn here), our financial institutions going down faster than me at a Full Moon party at The Eagle, our Homo High Holiday of Halloween and impending presidential election upon us, I’m feeling very frazzled and scattered. So I feel the need to cover a lot of ground in this column; hang on, bitches!


Never let it be said that I don’t give my lesbian sisters their due. So it’s only fair that if I have a You Might Be Queer if… test, that there would be a “You Might Be a Lesbian if…test. So, without further ado…

Is there ever a time when I send him flowers? Never. That is too gay for anyone. What happens if he does drugs? Drop him. This is the most impor-

you know what Monistat tastes like. you have more flannel shirts than Paul Bunyan. you subscribe to Curve. you only watch Top Chef or Survivor if there’s a lesbian cast member. you are a practicing Wiccan.

you ever owned a pit bull.

you dream of having Tabatha Coffey style your hair and Jackie Warner be your personal trainer.

you ever considered naming your pit bull “DeWalt”.

your car is either a truck or a UHaul.

you own a tool belt.

So it’s Halloween, our Homo National Holiday, our High Holiday if you will. Other holidays have a high queer quotient. Christmas comes to mind: mistletoe (like we need an excuse to make out with someone we barely know!), over the top decorations, a white-bearded bear with elves for assistants, and yule logs…yep, that’s pretty gay. Halloween is a festive time for all, especially for gay men. It's an opportunity for us to let loose and fulfill the fantasies we've stored and dreamed about all year long. I’m a firm believer in acting out your fantasy any time of year, but for those not quite so comfortable, Halloween gives them permission to be anything they want to be without criticism or ridicule. So dust off that super hero costume you've been hiding or that kinky mask you bought on sale at the sex shop and enjoy the festivities!

you have two kinds of nibbler attachments. One is a replacement punch for your Heavy-Duty 16 Gauge Nibbler and the other is, well, not. you have Indigo Girls, kd lang, Dar Williams, Ani DiFranco and Melissa Etheridge CDs. your Pirates of the Caribbean poster has everyone cut out except Keira Knightley. you know who Kate Clinton and Suzanne Westenhoefer are. you wanted Tina and Bette to get back together. the first thing that pops into your mind when someone says Olivia is a cruise and not Newton-John. you own “But I’m a Cheerleader” and “Itty Bitty Titty Committee” DVDs. you have way more D batteries than any other kind of battery in your kitchen drawer.

You Might Be a Lesbian if … you ever owned a pair of Birkenstocks. If you wore them

If you like him, run with it. If not, or you are having reservations, give it a few days before agreeing to do anything else. He may be very serious about a relationship and he probably has you in mind.

you played softball or field hockey in school and still play flag football on Sundays.

I fully expect to see lots of firemen (long hoses, cool hats and kick-ass Dalmatians), police officers (tight uniforms, handcuffs and a nightstick…what’s not to love?), Wonder Woman (love the wrist cuffs and lasso of truth!), Patsy from AbFab, sailors, doctors/nurses, cowboys (another use for those chaps that you love so much!), UPS drivers, and vampires (Brad Pitt in Interview

tant rule of all dating rules: Drugs Lead to Drama. There are no exceptions and this rule never wavers. What happens if I do drugs? Should I tell him? Yes. He is going to find out eventually, if there is something between you two. If he discovers this fact without you telling him, you will look dishonest and untruthful. David Placher is an attorney. with the Vampire or Aaliyah in Queen of the Damned). But let’s be adventurous, imaginative, and tasteless, dears! I also expect to see Madonnas without their loutish straight husbands; gun-toting, Bible-thumping Sarah Palins with pregnant teenagers at their side; Clay Aiken with a nursing bra; and Nancy Reagan in a hospital bed. Because there’s one thing that homos do know and that is bad taste. So the more tasteless and vulgar, the better! And speaking of tasteless, I’m thinking it’s not some sort of cosmic coincidence that the first Tuesday after our high holiday of Halloween is Election Day. After the frivolity and high camp of Halloween, we’re brought back down to earth and none too gently, either. After a long, tedious and arduous presidential election campaign, it’s time to finally make a choice. I promise to not preach or badger; I believe the choice is clear. We can opt for more of the same; namely, remaining non-citizens and barely tolerated. Or, we can choose the candidate and the party that at least acknowledges us. We can choose narrow definitions of what a family is and remain hidden or we can choose to refuse to be silenced. So get out and vote. I’d rather you vote, even if I didn’t agree with your choice, than have you not vote at all. Because you must believe that your vote does matter. And if you don’t believe me, remember Florida in 2000 and Ohio in 2004. Think of how different this world would have been with different outcomes in those elections. OK, OK, so I lied about the preaching and badgering. I’m getting off my soap box now. I need to get ready for Halloween, get into my costume, and head downtown. Just to give you a hint, this year I will be lesbian geisha girl, yep, the one with the Birkenstocks and socks! Happy Halloween and Hopeful Election Day! You can E-mail Mario at • G A Y L I F E • O c t o b e r 3 1 - N o v e m b e r 1 4 , 2 0 0 8 • PA G E 2 7

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would restore U.S. competitiveness through increased funding in education and infrastructure. And to pay for this, he would re-appropriate Defense Department funds by ending the war in Iraq. While Obama’s plan would put money into consumers’ pockets, help boost the economy, and reduce the country’s dependence on oil, some of his measures could potentially be harmful for the economy. For example, adding too many labor safeguards to trade agreements may force some corporations to relocate outside the U.S. Overall, however, Obama’s plan will help address important economic issues, including relieving income inequality and reliance on foreign oil. McCain’s economic stimulus plan would lower the corporate tax rate from 37 percent to 25 percent. But, to successfully fund the reductions, it would have to be with dramatic cuts in “pork-barrel spending,” like the 10,000 local projects that total over $10 billion, which Bush recently signed in legislation. As a stimulus measure, McCain would repeal the Alternative Minimum Tax (AMT), which cost middle class families nearly $60 billion a year. What’s AMT? When it was discovered that many wealthy individuals paid no taxes at all because they had tax deductions not available to the average taxpayer, the AMT was created to factor back in those deductions and apply a higher tax rate to wealthy individuals. McCain wants to do away with that. McCain advocates free trade. He wants to lower barriers in order to level the global playing field and increase enforcement of existing trade agreements. McCain also wants to retrain American workers to make us more competitive. McCain has proposed to balance the budget by the end of his first year in office, an ambitious goal not necessarily supported by his economic platform. McCain’s call to reduce government spending is laudable, but the devil is in the detail, which McCain has yet to reveal. Palin’s economic principles were demonstrated in Alaska. As mayor of Wasilla, she cut property taxes 60 percent. As governor, she sold a $2.1 million corporate jet bought by her predecessor, and cut $231 million from Alaska’s $550 million capital budget. She might know a thing or two about budgets. Then again, the $256 million in federal earmarks she requested in her first year as governor may have had something to with her perceived successes. And don’t forget that the town of Wasilla went into deficit due to the building of a

$15 million hockey rink, during a period when rape victims had to pay for their own forensic kits.

To Air or Not to Err Very few Americans are breathing easy today with spiked fuel bills and the devastating effects of global warming. Environmentalists are trying to come up with viable solutions. Our candidates have weighed in on the issue too. But not all of them are environmentally-friendly. Believe it or not, Obama and McCain agree on some similar initiatives to solve our environmental troubles. For example, both Obama and McCain support a cap-andtrade system to phase out greenhouse gas emissions by factories, and expansion of liquefied coal and ethanol energy technology. Both oppose oil drilling in the Alaskan National Wildlife Refuge and agree that humans contribute to global climate change. They differ, however, on Cheney’s 2005 Energy Bill, which included huge tax giveaways to oil companies with record revenues. Obama actually supported the bill, while McCain opposed it. Obama supported another law requiring 25 percent of U.S. energy to come from renewable sources by 2025, but McCain opposed a similar federal law. McCain also opposed the 2007 Energy Bill written by Democrats, which mandated improved vehicle fuel economy standards by 2020. Obama supported the bill. And Obama did not join McCain and 44 other Republican and Democratic senators in urging the Environmental Protection Agency to draft stricter mercury restrictions. Biden is a big supporter of biofuels and renewable energy. He opposes drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and takes a cautious approach to increasing our reliance on nuclear energy. Palin is considered an environmentalist’s worst nightmare. She does not believe climate change and greenhouse gas emissions are manmade. Palin supports expanded drilling in Alaska, including the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. She opposes listing polar bears as species threatened by the effects of global climate change, and she promotes the expansion of oil and gas usage.

Going after the Evildoers McCain defines terrorism as “violent Islamist extremism,” with Al Qaeda as the primary source. McCain believes Al Qaeda is a significant threat to U.S. security and the world. His solution advocates

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for greater military capabilities, such as missile defense and an increase in the number of troops. Like McCain, Biden supports an assertive military response to Al Qaeda. He agrees that there is a significant threat of global terrorism against the U.S. Obama, however, views the “war on terrorism” as concerns of human and civil rights issues. He opposed the passage of the Military Commissions Act in September 2006, which granted the Bush Administration unbridled latitude to define what would constitute the torture of detainees at Guantanamo Bay. McCain has always supported the war in Iraq. Biden initially did, but later recanted, and in April 2008, said the troop surge was a failure. Obama’s opposition to the Iraq War is not only well-known, but is consistently reiterated in every speech. Though his position won him the trust of anti-war voters, his anti-Iraq War stance has weakened. In July 2008, Obama announced his grand plans to begin withdrawing the troops in 16 months, but he has since back-pedaled. On The O’Reilly Factor  in September 2008, Obama admitted that the troop surge was a

success. Biden stated during the V.P. debate that the surge worked but our government is spending too much money on the Iraq war and that it’s time for the Iraqis to “begin to take their own responsibility and gradually, over 16 months withdrawal.” Where is Palin on the war on terrorism? She disagrees with Obama and Biden: “Your plan is a white flag of surrender in Iraq, and that is not what our troops need to hear today, that’s for sure.... We’ll know we’re finished in Iraq when the Iraqi government can govern its people and when the Iraqi security forces can secure its people.” Well, if the evildoers cross our borders via Alaska while she’s out moose-hunting, don’t worry, the girl can shoot. So, where are we? This depends on how these issues will drive your vote. I am voting for Obama not because I believe in his rhetoric of change, but merely because I just need a change. A native of Brooklyn, Rev. Irene Monroe served as a pastor at an African-American church before a Ford Fellowship took her to Harvard Divinity School for a doctorate.


with them pieces of bone and muscle, cutting away at my lungs, diagonally, in sections. I wasn't aware that those surgeons would implant in me some 14-year old's heart as soon as the cooler arrived from a few towns over and throw my old one out with trash. I couldn't believe what this woman was telling me. I could not trust that I had survived.

by Shayna Rockswell

"I died," I told her in a weak voice. "I remember running across the lawn and then I remember climbing the fence and then I remember when I got to the other side there was my Aunt Beverly, with her arms out to catch me, saying I didn't have to run anymore. She flashed me a big smile and winked.

could have sworn I was already dead. I don't remember the commotion in La Maison's driveway, not the police lights nor the ambulance. I don't recall all the blood. I had no clue, lying on a table in some hospital somewhere, that surgeons in bright blue scrubs were removing four bullets from my body, taking

"And then she led me by the hand away from there and we walked for a long time. We stopped by to visit my Aunt Pat on Park Place, sat in her room a while and watched a little TV. My Aunt Cheryl was there too. She took down my Avon order and they both kissed me before we left. We met my two grandfathers sitting on a porch at a

Death Defier


house on Jonathan Street. They were playing checkers and dressed in matching sweaters. I hadn't realized before then that they had been such good friends. "And then Aunt Beverly led me to a church where there were hundreds of cars parked outside. I told her I would just wait for her, but she insisted I come in. Inside there was a funeral, a casket laid out at the altar, flowers overflowing at every space. Aunt Beverly led me up the center aisle to the box. She went to open it. I got nervous, but she did it anyway and to my surprise, the casket was empty. 'Get in,' she said to me. 'You have to lay here for a while. It'll be okay.' "So I got in and lay there. 'Now pretend you are asleep, you don't want to scare them.' I closed my eyes and laid still and I could hear the people filing in. I could feel their hands on the box. I could feel their tears drop onto my sleeve. I could hear them when they asked for mercy. "Then someone started to tickle

me. I tried to stay still, but I couldn't. I opened my eyes and saw all the folks who had died before me, Aunt Beverly in the center, huddled around me. They smiled big and blew kisses and clapped and sang. Then they all brought their hands close to my face covering it so that everything was dark. I closed my eyes. When I opened them again I was here, in this hospital, looking at you." "It's not uncommon for people undergoing serious bodily trauma to experience death," the woman said. "I've heard lots of stories from patients in situations such as yours who claim to have seen God or to have re-encountered loved ones who have already passed away. Some scientists seem to think it’s a type of chemical that kicks in that creates these elaborate hallucinations. Others discount the experiences entirely." "What do you think?" I asked. "I believe in what you say happened. I believe in lived experiences and experiences in death. As a theracontinued on page 44 • G A Y L I F E • O c t o b e r 3 1 - N o v e m b e r 1 4 , 2 0 0 8 • PA G E 2 9

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PENCIL ME IN DININGOUT Friday, October 31 Halloween @ Club Hippo With $1,000 in cash prizes to be handed out among best overall, best group and best look-alike, don’t show up at Club Hippo (1 W. Eager St., Baltimore, MD) out of costume. With DJ Shawn Q on the dance floor, this is a Halloween bash not to be missed. Advance tickets are available in the Eager Street Saloon. For additional information, visit or call 410-576-0018.

Halloween Night @ Grand Central If you don’t have a costume yet, you’ve got less than 12 hours to get your creativity flowing. The sexiest, scariest, most unique and best group at Grand Central (1001 N. Charles St.) will each receive $250 cash. Disco doors open at 9 p.m. with DJ Farrell. For additional information, visit

Old School Halloween Party @ Strand Theatre Come and see what the Station North Arts District has to offer! The Strand Theater (1823 N. Charles St., Baltimore, MD) invites all theater, music, dance, food and carnival game lovers to a FREE Old-School Halloween Party sponsored by Free Fall Baltimore. The event kicks off at 8 p.m. with a free performance of Watch, a Haunting, by Molly Rice. The party kicks off at the Hexagon (next door) at 9:30 p.m. with carnival games in the Strand courtyard, a BBQ and a dance party. At 11 p.m., David Keltz will portray Edgar Allan Poe in his readings of The Tell-Tale Heart and Eldorado. Club Charles then invites everyone to a free costume contest with games and prizes at the Zodiac. For additional information, call 443-874-4917.

Ra Sushi Boo-Bash Goblins and fairy princesses alike will celebrate the scariest night of the year at RA (1390 Lancaster St., Baltimore, MD 21231) with freakishly fun food and drink specials and a guest DJ. From 10 p.m. until 1 a.m., guests will enjoy specialty Halloween menu items, including Satan’s Sangria and the Halloween Roll, while entering RA’s costume contest for a chance to win a $50 gift certificate. For details, visit or call 410-522-3200.

Saturday, November 1 & Saturday, November 8 Elle @ The Genie Room Firefly Entertainment presents Baltimore’s premiere women’s night. Exclusively feminine. Innovatively unique. You won’t want to miss this weekly women’s party from 9 p.m. til 1 a.m. at the Genie Room @ The Kasbah (2324 Boston St., Baltimore, MD). Free b4 11 p.m. For additional information, visit

Tuesday, November 4 Drill Baby Drill—An Election Night Celebrity Baby Shower Why stay at home, biting your nails as you wait for the big news? Come out and join the community for fun and games, while still staying in touch with all the Election coverage. CenterStage (700 N. Calvert St., Baltimore, MD) hosts an Election Night Celebrity Baby Shower featuring games, performances, stand-up comedy and up-to-the-minute election coverage. Beginning at 8 pm and lasting until a President-Elect has been declared, this

party promises eclectic entertainment as we track the coverage of this landmark election. The event is free, with a $10 suggested donation at the door, and a cash bar. Donations and proceeds benefit Civic Works and Planned Parenthood of Maryland. RSVP to Julianne Franz at 410-986-4050. For additional information, visit

Thursday, November 6 Retirement Planning Seminar Does the chaos of our economy and the state of the market leave you feeling confused? Have you begun to question your financial security and plans for the future? This is your chance to ask your questions and get your answers! Join Heifner & Associates at the GLCCB (241 W. Chase St., Baltimore, MD) for a FREE retirement planning seminar. Meet, greet and eat at 6:30 p.m. before getting down to planning your financial future from 7 -8 p.m. Marketing, tax, accounting and retirement planners will be present to answer questions. Heifner & Associates has been serving GLBT, Leather, BDSM & Poly Communities for over 20 years. For additional information, call 410837-5445.

Saturday, November 8 Big Art’s Naughty Little Issues: Sex, Love, Power This free candid panel at the Baltimore Museum of Art examines the role of sex, love, and power in contemporary art and pop culture. Artists Hilary Harkness, Nicole Eisenman and Tom Otterness confront these issues and speak about their own work. Enjoy the varying perspectives of these uninhibited speakers, and join in with questions at the end. Moderated by Senior Curator of Contemporary Art Darsie Alexander. Doors open at 3 p.m. Panel begins at 3:30 p.m. For additional information, visit

Jay Dreams Sneak Preview Don’t miss the sneak preview of Jay Dreams (by Catherine Pancake, written by Jai Brooks), an erotic, hilarious short film starring local dom-fem celebs! Two screenings will be held at the Creative Alliance (3134 Eastern Ave., Baltimore, MD 21224) at 7 p.m. and 10 p.m. Special guest performers include Goddess and She, K Love the Infinite, Jai Brooks, Fyre, Reina Williams, Grey the Poet and more. For additional information, visit

Tuesday, November 11 DC Cowboys Dance Company Auditions Are you interested in performing with an exciting, high-profile dance group. The DC Cowboys are looking for dancers of all levels. Broadway-style or jazz training or experience preferred but not required. Come out and audition in Dupont Circle from 7-8:30 p.m. For audition information, contact

PFLAG Meeting: Servicemembers Legal Defense Network—Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell? Columbia PLFAG marks Veterans Day with a tribute to the men and women in our armed forces and to those who have been discharged under the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. Army Sgt. Darren Manzell, a representative of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network discharged under this policy, will speak at the meeting. The meeting begins at 7:30 p.m. at Owen Brown Interfaith Center, 7246 Cradlerock Way, Columbia, MD). For additional

Sammy’s Trattoria

by John Cullen and Marty Shayt ammy’s Trattoria seems to have succeeded at a location where other restaurants—including Tampico Grill and Limoges Bistro— have come and gone comparatively quickly. In the tradition of Italian trattoria, service and dress is casual, prices reasonable, and food comes in large portions. The main dining room is large with pale salmon walls offset by cream colored moldings under a two story cascading barrel vault ceiling. Near the entrance, you’ll find a long bar backed by a humongous mirror, linen topped tables, and then, at the far rear of the space, an open kitchen. A smaller quieter dining room is tucked away up a flight of stairs over the kitchen. Sammy, a handsome, outgoing, athletic guy a bit under 40 y/o, is a former manager at Chiapparelli's. When Sammy isn’t directing the kitchen and when his charming mom, Toni, isn’t up front playing hostess, they make a point of schmoozing with their customers, re-affirming that this is a family-run business and not a branch of some corporate restaurant chain.


We chew on some hearty bread served with olive oil while we browse the menu. It’s just two pages—but that’s because it’s printed with a very small font size which we found pretty difficult to read. You’ll find about 15 appetizers ($5- $12). We’re both fans of the “Julia House Salad” ($6)—the basic romaine, tomato and croutons come with a delicious dressing full of grated cheese. (It reminds Marty of the salads he used to enjoy back in the “old days” of Little Italy.) John opts for a bowl of “Pasta Fagiole” soup ($5)—obviously homemade with pasta, small white beans and veggies in a spicy tomato broth. One of our friends orders “Shrimp Scampi ($11) which he clearly enjoys (but wishes that there were more than four large shrimp!) Another friend has enjoyed “Broccoli Rabe” ($7) sautéed in olive oil and garlic (which makes a nice alternative to a starter salad). Frustratingly, the scampi and soup arrived a long 15+ minutes after the salads did and left our two guys with salads awkwardly debating whether to start eating or to wait for the other two appetizers to show up at our table. For an entrée, you can pick from about 18 pastas dishes ($15-$25) and another 12 entrees ($18 -$29) that come with a side of pasta. Sammy’s

offers a $30.08 prix fix menu including an appetizer, pasta/entrée and dessert, as well as “family style” combination dinner for $30 or $40 a person (depending on how hungry you are)! Marty and John both opt for Chicken Parmesan ($18), while one friend opts for Penne Alla Bolognese ($16) and our other friend chooses Veal Picatta ($24). For their side pasta, Marty chooses spaghetti with marinara; John asks for penne with Puttanesca; and our friend chooses spaghetti tossed with olive oil and lemon. The Chicken Parmesan is different—breaded, fried slices of chicken breast are served under a chunky tangy tomato sauce and, instead of the usual melted mozzarella or provolone, there’s a heavy layer of grated parmesan. (We were disappointed though that it was barely warm when it arrived at the table….) The “Bolognese” was steaming hot and full of a meaty sauce that our friend clearly enjoyed. Our other guest enjoyed his veal, but could have done with a few less kalamata olives. Everyone enjoyed their pasta, which was cooked a perfect al dente. (Once again though, there is a lag in delivery and side pasta dishes arrived lukewarm 10+ minutes after the entrees arrived. What’s going on in that kitchen?) John gives a big “thumbs up” to spicy, olive-laden Puttanesca sauce (the roots of the Italian name come from "Pasta the way a whore would make it". Hmmm! Does this have something to do with why there’s an almost uncontrollable urge to lick the dish clean? <Grin>) We’ve eaten a lot and pass on the richer Tiramisu or Cannoli dessert options, and instead we enjoy sharing a serving of mixed berry sorbet ($6). With small bits of berries in the sorbet, this is better than anything we’ve bought at a supermarket and makes for a perfect finish to a good meal. BASICS: Sammy’s Trattoria (Mt. Vernon), 1200 N. Charles St., 410-8379999, Open 7 days a week; opens for dinner at 5 p.m.; serves til 9 p.m. on Sun & Mon, 10 p.m. on Tues & Wed, 11 p.m. on Thurs - Sat; open for lunch Tues - Fri) Valet parking available Thurs – Sun. Feedback or suggestions? Email us at Missed a review and wish you could find it? Visit gaylifediningout/.

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ESTATE Has the Financial Market Got You Singing the Blues? by Richard Pazornik ot a single one of us has not heard that the Federal Government is providing up to $700 Billion to help the US financial markets out of the “mess we are in”. But, how does this affect us?


First of all, there is enough blame to go around. On the financial industry side, we have Wall Street Banks who wanted higher returns to their investors. In turn, Wall Street went to Mortgage Lenders and developed Mortgage Backed Securities (MBS) that carried higher returns. The higher the investment return, the more risky the security and the more risky underlying loans in that MBS. When those high risk securities began to under-perform, Wall Street began to get jittery and one thing led to another. A MBS would be put out in the marketplace by a lender and Wall Street firms would bid to purchase it. Once they got the jitters, however, they were only offering a fraction of the face value. This put added financial pressures on Banks offering the MBS for sale, as they began to take losses on the offerings. Thus began the slippery slope downward in the Financial Markets. On the government side, years of lax regulation and oversight let “Profit Takers” rule the kingdom. Quite honestly, if you believe in a free market economy, they did just what they were supposed to do-maximize value for their shareholders. What they forgot, is that all good things come to an end, and no one— not industry, not government and not individuals—planned for when the bubble finally burst. Additionally, on the government side, pressure was brought to increase homeownership among those who had been left out of the American Dream. Housing bonds from states allowed people who might not have had the requisite credit scores to now purchase homes with no money in the deal and in some cases, get a mortgage for more than the sale price of the home. As some people had no money in the deal, it made it easy for them to simply walk away when times got tight. They had nothing to lose, so walking away and leaving the problem to someone else seemed like a viable alternative. On the micro level, the real estate

feeding frenzy of the early and middle part of this decade led to untenable residential home values. Properties in hot areas (and, yes, the Baltimore-Washington area was one of the hottest) were increasing moment by moment. Sellers were getting bids often before their homes were listed for sale. Multiple offers were being made with absurd price escalation clauses. We all know it is very hard to pull out of a deal once you have your heart set on something. So, if you and your partner saw your “Dream Home” during this boom and you just had to have it, you may have opted for an No-Documentation Interest Only ARM just so you could compete on the offer side. No one may have fully explained to you how an ARM works, even though required disclosures should have been a part of the multitude of forms you would have signed (but who reads forms?). Those disclosures alone are not really enough to educate most borrowers. Some buyers spent more time researching which Ipod® to buy than which home loan really was in their best interest. As a result of borrowers being put into the wrong loans, either on purpose or through naïveté, too many people have lost both their homes, and their investments, and many more are on the verge of losing it What can you do if you are in that position? First, contact your lender to see if you can work out a “deal”. You should get professional help from a trusted mortgage advisor who is well-versed in mortgage work-outs. You might also want to talk to legal counsel. These two advisors should work together on your behalf. Even if you have become delinquent on your mortgage payment, there still may be help out there. Remember that a work out will be time-consuming and you get nothing for nothing, but it sure beats losing the house you and your partner love. Educating yourself is key. As Marci Syms from Syms Clothiers says on every ad, “An educated consumer is our best customer.” Heed those words and educate yourself. Listen to the advice from professionals you trust and make smart decisions. No one is better equipped to help you out of a bad situation than you are. • G A Y L I F E • O c t o b e r 3 1 - N o v e m b e r 1 4 , 2 0 0 8 • PA G E 3 1

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MUSIC Goddamned

We don't debate, or simply tolerate; we celebrate your sexuality and spirituality!

Sundays 9 AM

Traditional Celebration

10 AM Hospitality Time - Community 11 AM Praise Celebration & Family Service Metropolitan Community Church of Baltimore - (410)NOW-MCCb Cb 401 W. Monument Street (at Eutaw)

by DJ Alex Funk have a new crush. No, no—it's not what you think; it's a musical crush. It's rare for a music professional like me to get emotional about new music. I listen to all different kinds of music all the time and while I'm occasionally turned on by the sounds and production of modern music, I'm most often underwhelmed by the depth of the writing in modern music. In my digging of late, I've found an artist that has captured my attention in a way that no one making music in the past 15 years has. That artist is Jay Brannan.


Jay Brannan - Goddamned Great Depression Music 2008 Okay, let's get this out of the way, so it doesn't distract from the real meat of the conversation—Jay Brannan is a 26 year old gay folk singer and he is exceedingly attractive. It should probably be illegal how cute he is...but this is not Alex Funk's review of attractive men. This article is about quality music, depth of understanding of our emotional selves in relation to the world we live in, and well-crafted writing that presents said understanding in a way that captures our attention. Jay Brannan is a musical artist who does just that. He has a unique and wonderful ability to craft songs about love that don't just look at issues of the heart from multiple sides, but positively turn the idea of love inside-out and upside-down. There have been a number artists over the past 15 years who have expertly turned the idea of love inside-out and upside-down (Nirvana, Tori Amos, Bjork, and Nine Inch Nails come to mind), but I can't think of any who have managed the task without beating up on the whole concept of love. The music of Goddamned points to many of the personal and social blemishes in the practice of love, but does so with a deep sense of hope and belief in the spirit of love. The thing that has kept this CD in car

playing non-stop for the past two weeks is that every aspect of the total package is quality. The basic format of the music is "one man and a guitar" folk music with minimal and tastefully done backing. Brannan artfully uses all of the standard forms of song lyrics— more than just "verse" and "chorus," but also the oft-neglected "pre-chorus" and "bridge". He works in mixed tempos, and his melodies are more than just plucked out 3-chord folk. These melodies are highly-varied and wellconnected to the emotional content of the particular song. This combined with Brannan's gift for dancing both his voice and guitar work around the beat allows the music to grab you by the shirt collar, pulling you again and again to attention. This is all musicnerd speak for "you'll be able listen to the CD a bunch of times without getting bored." The closest comparison I can make in terms of quality, impact and depth of experience is Joni Mitchell's Court and Spark from 1974. I'm tempted to make a parallel with Joni Mitchell's Blue from 1971, but while Jay Brannan's music evokes a similar kind of depth, it isn't quite as dark as that. Brannan combines a vocal ability to dance gracefully up down and around musical scales with an ability to wrap words around the beat like Eminem. His writing is on par with Paul Simon in his ability to paint an entire multi-faceted HD surround sound scene using only a handful of words. His sense of humor cuts through the darkest topics without cheapening his message. This is special music. So what makes this music so special? What can a 26-yo gay man have to say about life and love that isn't totally obvious? A lot. Great music of any kind isn't about the specific biography of the artist behind the music. Great music is a about an artist pointing the way to feelings and concepts that are greater than him or herself. These ideas are universal and resonate across generations, across race and class, and across sexuality borders. This is not just a question of well-written lyrics and catchy musical riffs—this is a person who has an ability to capture the totality of the experience of an event (the good, the bad, the ugly, the humorous, the ridiculous) and condense it down into a 4-minute ballad. I have all the respect in the world for those who express their piece with 400-page novels or oil on canvas but music is my heart and soul. This CD gives me newfound faith that the art of pop-accessible music is not dead.

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by Mikey Rox

ance-music mainstay Kristine W. wears many hats. Every one brims with vim. In a recent interview, the veteran performer reflects on her 20-plus-year career—from working the beauty pageant circuit and collecting a check from The Colonel (think Memphis, not Louisville) to raising a family and fighting for her life. And that’s just the half of it. Kristine—otherwise known as the fab Ms. W to her loyal legion—also discusses her latest album, Power of Music, and in a world-exclusive reveals the results of a MySpace contest for fans to choose the song they’d most like to hear on her soon-to-be-released Christmas CD. Our vote? “Come All Ye Faithful”.


Before we get into the meat and potatoes of this thing, let’s take a minute to admire you. I read somewhere that since your debut album in 1996, you’ve broken records previously held by Madonna and Janet Jackson for consecutive hits on the Billboard Club Play chart. Is that true? Yes, that’s true! I’m very proud of that, and I owe that success to my fans that continue to inspire me. Have you bumped into to either of them since you ripped the dance-hall tiaras from their pretty little heads? No, we don't roll in the same circles. I like to

be with my people, hang with them after the shows, dance with them after the shows. I like to be accessible. It's way more fun. While we’re talking tiaras, in the early 1980s you were a contestant in the Miss America competition. Did you ever have to kick a bitch’s ass backstage? Yes, it was the mid-80s and one of the girls put water in my hairspray bottle. I told them all if I find out who did it they’d be missing some teeth—so don't f--k with me. [Laughs] That shocked ’em. After you retired your world-peace speech, you headed to Las Vegas where, during the

late 1980s and early ’90s, you performed more shows at the Las Vegas Hilton than anyone in its history—including the King of Rock-n-Roll, Elvis Presley. Now, I could ask a safe question like, “How does it feel to be in the company of the greatest?” But I don’t care about that. What I really want to know is what kind of trouble you caused in Sin City. You were young, single and financially independent. And those are the top three reasons in my book to do whatever the hell you want. Anything you’d like to confess, missy? I took my scholarship money and hit the road from my farm town in Washington State and headed immediately to Vegas. I worked my way through school performing on stages, singing everywhere. I was offered my own show at the Las Vegas Hilton because I had built up such a big local following. Soon we could not fit any more people in the 200-seat room, so they built me a 500-seat room. I learned a lot of history about Elvis. His manager, The Colonel, was very old and lived at the Hilton. He was always in the  entertainment office sitting there when I would pick up my check. The entertainment director, Foster Wilson, told me many stories about Elvis, and, when my son was born [Foster], opened the continued on page 42 • G A Y L I F E • O c t o b e r 1 6 - O c t o b e r 3 1 , 2 0 0 8 • PA G E 3 3

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Find luxury, comfort, convenience and style in both of our beautifully appointed all-suite hotels. We're just footsteps off historic Charles Street in downtown Baltimore. Our suites are filled with world-class amenities and our personal attention to detail will make any stay a memorable experience. In addition to our comfortable features, we offer complimentary high-speed internet in every suite and your choice of two restaurants, a lounge, a gourmet deli and a dessert shop.

410.727.2222 • G A Y L I F E • O c t o b e r 3 1 - N o v e m b e r 1 4 , 2 0 0 8 • PA G E 3 5

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True West on stage at Bay Theatre Company in Annapolis through November 8.


The Ruzante Project

Through November 2 Spotlighters Theatre, Baltimore 410-752-1225

November 12 Germano’s Trattorio, Baltimore 410-752-4515

How the Grinch Stole Christmas: The Musical

The Sisters Rosensweig

Air Dance Bernasconi November 28 – December 7 Baltimore Theatre Project 410-752-8558

November 11 – November 23 Hippodrome Theatre, Baltimore 410-837-7400

All’s Well that Ends Well


November 6 – December 7 Washington Shakespeare Company, Arlington 703-418-4808

Through November 9 RepStage, Columbia 410-772-4900

Through November 8 Bay Theatre Company, Annapolis 410-268-1333

Next to Normal

Waiting for Godot


A Beautiful View Through November 2 Studio Theatre, D.C. 202-332-3300

A Doll’s House Through November 22 Maryland Ensemble Theatre, Frederick 301-694-4744

Dracula Through November 23 Vagabond Players, Baltimore 410-563-9135

Filthy Rich November 5 – December 14 Everyman Theatre, Baltimore 410-752-2208

November 7 – December 7

Fells Point Corner Theatre, Baltimore 410-276-7837

True West

November 21 – January 18 Arena Players, Crystal City, VA 410-728-6500

Through November 2 Baltimore Theatre Project 410-752-8558

Pearl Bailey…By Request

Watch, a Haunting

Through November 9 MetroStage, Alexandria, VA 703-548-9044

Through November 2 Strand Theatre, Baltimore 443-874-4917

Peter Pan

The Way of the World

November 19 – January 4 Olney Theatre Center 301-924-3400

Phantom of the Opera Through November 16 Toby’s Dinner Theatre of Baltimore 410-649-1660

Through November 16 Shakespeare Theatre Company, D.C. 202-547-1122

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Through November 30 CenterStage, Baltimore 410-332-0033

Picnic, a Summer Romance Frost/Nixon November 11 – November 30 Kennedy Center, Eisenhower Theatre, DC 202-467-4600

November 21 – December 21 Spotlighters Theatre, Baltimore 410-752-1225 • G A Y L I F E • O c t o b e r 3 1 - N o v e m b e r 1 4 , 2 0 0 8 • PA G E 3 7

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QPUZZLE What's Cooking?



1 Cruising areas 5 Pastor, I Am Gay author Howard 9 Chef Des Jardins 14 Neil Miller's Out of the ___ 15 Drag role for John Travolta 16 Composer Copland 17 Nick was his master 18 Ginsberg's kind of poet 19 Paul of Hollywood Squares 20 Star Canyon restaurateur 23 Morgan Fairchild's Roseanne character 24 Pam Parsons and Patty Sheehan 25 Shoshonean tongue 28 Swashbuckling Flynn 31 Amelie Mauresmo's game 33 Rene Auberjonois on Deep Space Nine 36 They come under kings 38 Antigay prejudice, e.g. 39 Cooking with Too Hot Tamales coauthor Susan 41 Food Network chef 44 Took too much, in short 45 The ___ and the Ecstasy 47 Nureyev's nyet 48 Hailey of The L Word 51 Online prostitution? 53 Bear lair 54 Where T.E. Lawrence traveled 56 Nash's prize 60 Chocolate author 63 You can get this at the Russian River 66 Singer Norah's father 67 Coal porter's vehicle? 68 Story of Greeks and Trojans 69 Words that come after "come" 70 Cock ending 71 Restaurant chain owner Gary 72 Where a co. can bet its bottom dollar 73 Ps on the Parthenon

1 Orgasm, e.g. 2 Some eat it semi-firm 3 One that comes out in late summer or fall 4 Lube or vibrator, to a sex shop 5 Neuwirth of Chicago 6 Genie portrayer Barbara 7 Type of fruit juice 8 Lech of Greek lore 9 Gay in the library 10 Catch them in South Beach 11 Prince Valiant's boy 12 Provincetown's Cape 13 Feminizing suffix 21 Either of Greta Garbo's two 22 Where they yell "Cut!" 25 It could be civil 26 Queen topper 27 James Baldwin work 29 Golden Girl McClanahan 30 Craig Claiborne's gumbo pod 32 Network of The Ellen DeGeneres Show 33 From Socrates time, e.g. 34 "Fiddle-___!" (Scarlett O'Hara) 35 "___ ten" 37 James VI, e.g. 40 They get checked at bathhouses 42 Writer Castillo 43 Active in B and D 46 Land of Magnus Hirschfeld 49 Butch or Mohawk 50 Colts' org. 52 Screw around 55 "Rubber Capital of the World" 57 Where to have a moving experience in bed? 58 Muse for Millay 59 Juicy fruits 60 Minn. neighbor 61 Bird, to Brutus 62 Dotterman's Antonia's ___ 63 Product to combat crabs 64 Home st. of Harper Lee 65 Henry and June's Anais

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FROM THE TOP to stage our fantasies, learning our spots on stage, introducing ourselves to the audience, a BDSM demonstration, public auction and formal Leather Image and speech. During the second day, we had our fantasies, jockstrap, more auctions and the declaration of the winners. And this isn’t even what the Bootblack Contestants had to do!

by Sir Andy Liu Mid-Atlantic LeatherSIR 2008

Flogger Tales amily—as we approach Thanksgiving, let’s think about what family means to each of us.


Recently, our Community Bootblack, David Spellman, our Title boy, Stephen “boyshark” Mercer and I had the pleasure and privilege of competing in the International LeatherSIR / Leatherboy / Community Bootblack 2008 Contest ( in San Francisco. There were 7 LeatherSIR contestants, 8 Leatherboy contestants, and 9 Bootblack contestants representing various regions of the USA and Canada. From the moment we met our fellow contestants to mingling with the Judges to the informal smoking breaks outside the Hotel Whitcomb, there was a sense of brotherhood that could not be denied. That’s always the neat thing about Leather Contests. While we’re all there to represent our respective Regions and to compete to the best of our abilities, there is no drama, no posturing, no attitude. We all respect each other because we all had to do the same things to get there—serve the Community, fundraise, rehearse, self-doubt and wonder if we’re good enough to be there. Even though the Contest was broken up over 2 days, it was a blur. On the first day, there were the closed door interviews with the Judges, working with the Production crew

Congratulations to Sir Raul Mendez and boy bill hoeppner for becoming our new International LeatherSIR / Leatherboy 2008, and to Black-Jack Pearce for becoming our new International Community Bootblack. Fine gentlemen that we are proud to call family, as David, boyshark, and I were warmly welcomed into the ILSb / ICBB family. Coming back home to our MidAtlantic family, David brings with him the Attendee’s Choice Award, and I am bringing the Davis / Clark Golden Flogger (Brotherhood Award). Since this is the first year the Flogger has been renamed in honor of Sir Robert Davis, it is a fitting way to remember and cherish family past. We are blessed to be Leatherfolk. Not only do we have our biological families, we have our Leather Family. Whether it’s the Community at large, our buddies at the local Leather bar, our partners or our friends, we will always be family. Sure, sometimes we may argue, come and go, disagree, and throw a tantrum, but that just means we’re human. And we will laugh and cry, forgive and absolve, and come back together, like family. Mr. Maryland Leather 2009 (and C.O.M.M.A.N.D MC’s 20th Anniversary run ( kicks off the weekend of November 7, 2008 with a CLAW Benefit at Club Phoenix in Baltimore ( from 9 p.m. – 2 a.m. on Friday the 7th, benefitting Brother, Help Thyself and C.O.M.M.A.N.D’s Greene-Baker Fund. David, boyshark, and I can’t wait to see you all there. We are and always will be family.

The new

coming soon! PA G E 3 9 •

September 19, - October 2, 2008

• G A Y L I F E •

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FILM ‘Half a Person’ Packs Whole Lotta Punch by Ginger Harris ayhem ensues when a lovelorn working stiff and his freeloading best friend leave their small Ontario suburb behind and hop on a bus headed for the big city. Straight and single Alex (Nigel Smith) and his gay best friend Mark (Michael Majeski) tackle the Canadian countryside in search of a good time and a little perspective in Half a Person, released on DVD October 21.


Desperately single, Alex is searching for order in a life he finds increasingly uncertain. With his school days behind him and “nothing to show” for his success—neither personally nor professionally— the 20-something sets out to sate his demons and confront his future with loose ends tied up. Meanwhile, charismatic Mark adopts his best friend’s quest as his own, inviting himself along at the last minute. Mark’s own demons, however, begin to rear their ugly heads as situations destabilize on the road to Toronto: His relationship with livein partner Tom is on the rocks, and a life spent guarding his sexuality and then answering for it has left him fleeing consequence. Both boys’ expectations of the trip are higher than the experiences it yields, as their pilgrimage to the city is fraught with mild to moderate inconvenience: Bad timing results in the pair missing their ride at a rest stop; Mark’s antagonism instigates several run-ins with authority figures; and cavorting about town with a pair of flirtatious young girls they meet on the bus—Julie and Crystal—throws a wrench in everyone’s emotional cogs. Julie and Crystal’s relationship parallels Mark and Alex’s, with one being the reckless thrill seeker and the other passively following her own agenda. And when a night on the town with their new travel companions turns into more than they bargained for, Mark and Alex are thrust into a sort of latent coming-ofage where they must reevaluate, above all, their feelings for one another. Alex’s convoluted search for closure and the means to a new begin-

ning come to a head when he finds himself on his father’s doorstep. In spite of a surprising revelation, the confrontation between father and son comes off as a touch anticlimactic, but keeps with the consistent vein of “wrong turns” in the film. And though the two friends are looking for answers in erroneous places, the day finally arrives when Alex can no longer put his own life on hold to fix Mark’s problems. Half a Person raises some important issues concerning the transition from impressionable youth to accountable adult. There’s effective ambiguity here surrounding an oftreferenced night spent hiding out in their high school as teenagers, which manifests Mark’s struggle with his family’s rejection of his sexuality. The intimate nature of this night spent alone is an early representation of the therapeutic function of their friendship and proves to be a pivotal point for both boys. Tensions run high in this 70minute whirlwind of self-discovery, where two pals on the edge of adulthood come face-to-face with their respective pasts. As fraught with mishap as their sojourn proves to be, there is tenderness to be found on the road, and the childhood friends discover that what they feel for each other transcends the inevitable hardships of growing up. Ginger Harris is an intern with Line/Byline Communications in New York City. Reach her at

PA G E 4 0 • O c t o b e r 3 1 - N o v e m b e r 1 4 , 2 0 0 8 • G A Y L I F E •

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Sailaway Pride Night

Halloween Dance & Costume Party

Weather Rail Bar Loews Hotel 126 West St. Annapolis, MD 5-9 p.m.

Spiral Dance Womyn’s Center 2505 E. Oliver St. Baltimore, MD 21213 8 p.m.

Social Activity (Varies)

Saturday November 1

Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 1-6 p.m.

Alexandra Day


Live @ Read St. Books 229 W. Read St. Baltimore, MD 8 p.m.

New Image (Narcotics Anonymous) LGBT Community Hall 40 W. Church St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 6-7:30 p.m.

Sufficient As I aM (SAIM) Youth & Young Adults 24 & Under GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 12:30 p.m.

Volleyball Out for Fun War Memorial Park Martinsburg, WV for details 3 or 4 p.m.

Sunday November 2 Alcoholics Anonymous GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 6:30 p.m.

Beginners Yoga with Tim Hurley, RYT GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 $9/person 3:30 p.m.

Living Sober (AA) Shepherdstown Presbyterian Church 100 W. Washington St. Shepherdstown, WV 25443 3 p.m.

Narcotics Anonymous Sunday Men’s Rap GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 11:30 a.m.

GLCCB 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 443-904-3401 6-8 p.m.

Monday November 3 Alcoholics Anonymous GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 8:30 p.m.

Tuesday November 4 Alcoholics Anonymous LGBT Community Hall 40 W. Church St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 6:30 - 7:30 p.m.

Ashton Fletcher Trio Cabaret @ Germano’s 300 S. High St. Baltimore, MD 21202 7:30 p.m.

Boyds Al-Anon Open Door Metropolitan Community Church 15817 Barnesville Rd. Boyds, MD 20841 7:30 p.m.

Dual Recovery Anonymous Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Chesapeake Squares Club Square Dance Waxter Center 1000 Cathedral St. Baltimore, MD 21201 8-10 p.m.

Consumer Planned Activity Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201

410-528-0444 4-6:30 p.m. & 7:30-8:30 p.m.

Positive Influence LGBT Community Hall 40 W. Church St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Pre-natal Yoga Lifeline Power Yoga 111 Allegheny Ave. Towson, MD 21204 Suggested Donation 1:30 p.m.

Wednesday November 5 Beginners’ Yoga with Kelly D. McClain, RYT GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 $9/person 7:15 p.m.

Gay Bingo (to benefit GLCCB & Aids Action) Club Hippo 1 W. Eager St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-547-0069 8:30 p.m.

Power Inside Women’s Rap Power Inside Office 325 E. 25th St., 1st floor Baltimore, MD 21218 3-4:30 p.m.

Rapscallion Radical Art Collective 40 W. Church St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 7 p.m.

‘Tini Lounge Happy Hour GG’s Restaurant & Martini Bar 41 N. Potomac St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 4:30-10:00 p.m.

Thursday November 6 Alcoholics Anonymous GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 8:30 p.m.

Cabaret @ Germano’s Jennifer Blades Presents: My Funny Valentine 300 S. High St. Baltimore, MD 21202 7:30 p.m.

Gay Argentine Tango

w/ Max Gonzalez

Studio DNA 1301 Baylis St. Baltimore, MD 21224 7 p.m. – 8:30 p.m.

JUMP (Just Us Making Progress) Confidential HIV Support Group The Portal 2419 Greenmount Ave., Suite 1 Baltimore, MD 21218 410-235-5241 7-8:30 p.m.

Retirement Planning Seminar Presented by Heiffner & Associates GLCCB 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-837-5445 6:30 p.m. – 8 p.m.

Support Group for Individuals with Mental Health Issues Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Women of Color Group GLCCB

Sufficient As I aM (SAIM) Youth & Young Adults 24 & Under GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 12:30 p.m.

Volleyball Out for Fun War Memorial Park Martinsburg, WV for details 3 or 4 p.m.

Womyn’s Music Showcase Spiral Dance Womyn’s Center 2505 E. Oliver St. Baltimore, MD 21213 7-9 p.m.

Partners of Trans People GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 6 p.m.

Boyds Al-Anon Open Door Metropolitan Community Church 15817 Barnesville Rd. Boyds, MD 20841 7:30 p.m.

Dual Recovery Anonymous

Club Square Dance Waxter Center 1000 Cathedral St. Baltimore, MD 21201 8-10 p.m.

Beginners Yoga with Tim Hurley, RYT

Shepherdstown Presbyterian Church 100 W. Washington St. Shepherdstown, WV 25443 3 p.m.

LGBT Community Hall 40 W. Church St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 6-7:30 p.m.

LGBT Community Hall 40 W. Church St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Chesapeake Squares

Living Sober (AA)

New Image (Narcotics Anonymous)

Alcoholics Anonymous

GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 6:30 p.m.


GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 dentity_group 8 p.m.

Tuesday November 11

Alcoholics Anonymous

Friday November 7

Gender Identity Group

GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 6 p.m.

Sunday November 9

241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 7:30 p.m.

Saturday November 8

Men Like Me

Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 6:30-7:30 p.m.

GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 $9/person 3:30 p.m.

Live @ Read St. Books 229 W. Read St. Baltimore, MD 8 p.m.

GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 8:30 p.m.

Narcotics Anonymous Sunday Men’s Rap GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 11:30 a.m.

Sailaway Pride Night Weather Rail Bar Loews Hotel 126 West St. Annapolis, MD 5-9 p.m.

Social Activity (Varies) Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 1-6 p.m.

Monday November 10

Consumer Planned Activity Hearts & Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 4-6:30 p.m. & 7:30-8:30 p.m.

PFLAG, Columbia Owen Brown Interfaith Center 7246 Cradlerock Way Columbia, MD 7:30 p.m.

Positive Influence LGBT Community Hall 40 W. Church St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Pre-natal Yoga Lifeline Power Yoga 111 Allegheny Ave. Towson, MD 21204 Suggested Donation 1:30 p.m.

Rainbow Youth Alliance, Columbia Owen Brown Interfaith Center 7246 Cradlerock Way Columbia, MD 7:30 p.m.

Alcoholics Anonymous • G A Y L I F E • O c t o b e r 3 1 - N o v e m b e r 1 4 , 2 0 0 8 • PA G E 4 1

Wednesday November 12 Beginners’ Yoga with Kelly D. McClain, CYT GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 $9/person 7:15 p.m.

Gay Bingo (to benefit GLCCB & Aids Action) Club Hippo 1 W. Eager St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-547-0069 8:30 p.m.

POZ Men GLCCB 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 6 p.m.

‘Tini Lounge Happy Hour GG’s Restaurant & Martini Bar 41 N. Potomac St. Hagerstown, MD 21740 4:30-10:00 p.m.a

Thursday November 13 Alcoholics Anonymous GLCCB, Room 201 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 8:30 p.m.

Cabaret @ Germano’s Baltimore School for the Arts 300 S. High St. Baltimore, MD 21202 7:30 p.m.

Gay Argentine Tango w/ Max Gonzalez Studio DNA 1301 Baylis St. Baltimore, MD 21224 7 p.m. – 8:30 p.m.

JUMP (Just Us Making Progress) Confidential HIV Support Group The Portal 2419 Greenmount Ave., Suite 1 Baltimore, MD 21218 410-235-5241 7-8:30 p.m.

Confidential HIV/STI Testing & Counseling GLCCB Tuesday, Wednesday 5-8 p.m. 241 W. Chase St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-837-5445

HERO Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday 9 a.m.-1 p.m., 2-4 p.m. Thursday 9 a.m.-1 p.m. 1734 Maryland Avenue Baltimore, MD 21201 410-685-1180

gl 10 31 08:Gaylife 10/29/08 5:32 PM Page 42

KRISTIN W - continued from page 33

HOMOSTROLOGY by Marry Elaine

SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21) There are things in your life that are blocking your ability to feel pleasure. Some are thrown at you and others you invite in. Screen very carefully everything that enters you.

survival but a flowering." —Gwendolyn Brooks

GEMINI (May 21 - June 20) Persist with fistic patience. Have faith: you will know when it’s time. And you will have the strength.

CANCER (June 21 - July 22)

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 20) Two steps forward and three steps back? Forgive yourself. Listen hard and gentle. Pleasure yourself until you are in that blissful place with momentum and connection.

CAPRICORN (December 21 - January 19) Be loose. Be elegant. Challenge yourself. Emote. Role-play.

AQUARIUS (January 20 February 18) Don’t be scared to feel good. Be as accepting towards yourself as you are toward others. Commit to sleep.

PISCES (February 19 - March 19) Avoid mirrors for several consecutive days. Write letters.

ARIES (March 20 - April 19) Urgently: Prioritize healing. The only way over is through. You have been collecting the tools you need and now that you have them it is time to use them.

TAURUS (April 20 - May 20) "We blue-print/ not merely our

Focus on creation and followthrough right now. You are pretty much unstoppable: Make sure to see your successes so that you can celebrate them.

LEO (July 23 - August 22) Practice humility. Approach everything with rigor and forgiveness. Your honesty is deep and brave.

VIRGO (August 23 - September 22) “Let your pleasure be your guide. Your pleasure as a woman. And don’t forget: There are two things that have no limit—femininity and the means of taking advantage of it.”

LIBRA (September 23 - October 22) Your social instincts are awry right now. If you don’t mind being unpalatable, revel. And know that you’re in my heart, bitch. Marry Elaine is very psychic and a huge fag. Email her at letspretendweremarried

glass case with the famous Elvis outfit and guitar and I took a picture with [my son] JR next to it in his car seat. A lot of good memories at the Hilton. My Mom says I became a grown-up while I was playing those stages. About my personal life  during that time—I had fun, but kept it on the down low because I was the leader of the band, the star of the show, and the producer. But, yes, I enjoyed the company of some really hot guys! Considering you sordid past (wink), it’s no wonder you have such an avid gay following! But I’ve always wondered, how does one get an avid gay following? I mean, it’s not like you set out to be the next Betty White. Right? Being a gay icon just happened organically. One minute I was in London performing for straight people in straight clubs. The next, I’m in NYC with 2,000 halfnaked men. Pretty fun!   I’ve seen the company you keep—Junior Vasquez, RuPaul, etc. So it might be more appropriate to ask that question differently. Do you know any straight people? Yes, I have straight friends! [Laughs] You would not believe the diversity of my friendship pool. It’s hilarious! There’s no easy transition into this next question, so I’ll just come out with it: While making it in Vegas on your own is admirable, overcoming leukemia is a modern-day miracle. My brother passed away from the disease in 2002 at age 22, so I know firsthand the devastation cancer can cause the people it affects. What were your thoughts when you were diagnosed, and how did the battle to beat the disease change your life? I was devastated when I was diagnosed…angry, scared. I cried for about three days straight. Then I called upon my faith and I knew I had to be a soldier rather than a victim. The odds of my survival were pretty slim, so I needed to really focus and educate myself on the disease.  The two-year  battle changed my priorities. I have always been in love with my two children since they were born. I know their love saved me and gave me the fight to hang in there. Children and music, that’s my focus—and  without a doubt, I have seen  the power of love and the power of music through them and my loyal fan base.

the annual Gay Days was in June. So what’s the significance? Is this your first time participating? This is the first time I’ve performed at Orlando Pride, so I’m really excited about it! We’ve had some amazing shows at The Parliament House, and I know how fun the people in Orlando are. So watch out and fasten your wig on, honey! After you’re done rubbing elbows with Hanna Montana, you’re performing at the Save the Ta-Tas Pink Party in Boston. What’s your mission that evening? To give my fans a great show. I’ll be honest, I’m not that into boobies—but I do think they’re all worth saving! Is that enough to get me on the guest list as your date? You can be my date anytime. I don't care what side of the fence you’re on. BTW, I must say—and this is in no way related to me being your arm candy at the Pink Party—but you don’t look your age. At all. I won’t tell the world the actual number—I’ll leave that to your discretion—but how do you keep yourself looking so … sexy? You Mousercise, don’t you? I eat healthy, dark chocolate, sex, champagne...exercise…and loving m y  cool gay friends that make me laugh. It seems to be working. Your newest single, “The Boss”, from the upcoming Power of Music, recently earned you your 11th #1 Billboard track. Can we expect more of the same when the record drops later this year? Any collabos we should look out for? My next single  from Power Of Music is called" Never", and I’m also releasing a seven-song Christmas EP called “Hey, Mr. Christmas”. It’s a very uplifting project because the holidays can be a bummer for a lot of people. It’s definitely good medicine. We asked my MySpace peeps which  Christmas song they would most like to see me redo and we put the winner on the  album. I will tell the world for the first time in this interview which one it was—it was a dance mix of “Hard Candy Christmas”. How’s that for  new scoop! I’m also working with [poppianist] Jim Brickman at the moment—so stay tuned. Who is Mikey Rox? Who gives a fuck! But you can find him at

Your October calendar is filling up fast. First up is the “Come Out with Pride Parade” at Disney World, which is way late since PA G E 4 2 • O c t o b e r 3 1 - N o v e m b e r 1 4 , 2 0 0 8 • G A Y L I F E •

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"This door's wide open now. It's gonna happen. Whether you like it or not!" —San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom in a video clip included in a TV ad by forces attempting to re-ban same-sex marriage in California by amending the state constitution. The ad is credited with flipping polls, with voters now narrowly favoring Proposition 8, the Nov. 4 ballot measure that would add the amendment to undo the state Supreme Court ruling that legalized same-sex marriage in June. If passed, the amendment would take effect immediately. "Interpreting our state constitutional provisions in accordance with firmly established equal protection principles leads inevitably to the conclusion that gay people are entitled to marry. ... To decide otherwise would require us to apply one set of constitutional principles to gay persons and another to all others." —The Connecticut Supreme Court in an Oct. 10 ruling legalizing same-sex marriage. Three states down, 47 to go. "We conclude that, in light of the history of pernicious discrimination faced by gay men and lesbians, and because the institution of marriage carries with it a status and significance that the newly created classification of civil unions does not embody, the segregation of heterosexual and homosexual couples into separate institutions constitutes a cognizable harm. We also conclude that (1) our state scheme discriminates on the basis of sexual orientation, (2) for the same reasons that classifications predicated on gender are considered quasi-suspect for purposes of the equal protection provisions of the United States constitution, sexual orientation constitutes a quasi-suspect classification for purposes of the equal protection provisions of the state constitution, and, therefore, our statutes discriminating against gay persons are subject to heightened or intermediate judicial scrutiny, and (3) the state has

"We (activist Urvashi Vaid and I) never made a huge public thing of our relationship. It puts too much pressure on it. We are truly a marriage of comedy and tragedy, but I'm never saying which one I am. The secret is that we have made a commitment to keep talking and to have fun. It's been 20 years now—but then, some afternoons seem 20 years long."

I've been with my husband for 10 years. There is an unconditional support and love there. That connection, feeling supported by someone emotionally has totally enhanced my life." —Comedian Margaret Cho to the Ottawa, Canada, gay newspaper Capital Xtra!, Oct. 8.

—Lesbian comedian Kate Clinton to the national lesbian magazine Curve, November issue.

failed to provide sufficient justification for excluding same sex couples from the institution of marriage." —The Connecticut Supreme Court in an Oct. 10 ruling legalizing same-sex marriage. To read the full 85-page ruling, visit "I don't have a problem discussing the topic of somebody being gay, but I do have a problem discussing my personal life. You don't get that part of me. Sorry. ... I don't feel like I need to share my personal life, and I don't care if people think I'm gay or not. Assume whatever you want. You do it anyway." —Singer and actress Queen Latifah to The New York Times, Oct. 3. "People change their minds about Proposition 8 when they hear the lie that churches will lose their tax-free status if they won't marry same-sex couples. Even though this is not true. So this is crunch time. ... We must get on the air now to answer these lies and swing votes back to our side. And the only way to do that is to raise more money. The generous $15.8 million that our supporters have given isn't enough." —Equality California Executive Director Geoff Kors, Oct. 7. Voters will decide Nov. 4 whether to amend the state constitution to undo the state Supreme Court ruling that legalized same-sex marriage. "When civil partnerships became possible in the United Kingdom, it was very important for David and

me to be able to do this on the first day it was possible. I really felt part of something genuinely progressive and groundbreaking, and we were also so totally overwhelmed and heartened by the positive support we received across the board from the press, my fans, the people of Great Britain and literally the world over!" —Elton John to Philadelphia Gay News, Oct. 13. "I wanted to call it Fudge Packer." —Elton John, on the Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavor Goodbye Yellow Brickle Road, to GQ magazine's Web site, Oct. 13. "God is dead. Or rather, the Repubs' particularly cruel version, a gloomy, tyrannical, guilt-slingin' God from Colorado Springs who loved war and smacked up women's rights and pretended to tolerate gay people even while hating 'what they do,' a God who snorted the Republican agenda like it was cheap meth in a Denver motel room, has proven to be a complete failure, an abomination of divine connection." —San Francisco Chronicle columnist Mark Morford, Oct. 16. "I think the idea of poly-relationships is great. And it's open to me if I want that. My marriage is about 'Whatever happens, we'll stay together.' But it just hasn't come up yet. Being married is very important to me. It has utterly committed me to the fight for gay marriage. ...

"Perhaps I'm being romantic but I think a lot of people screw around not with any intention of screwing around forever but because they're looking for something and it doesn't quite work out. They're open to the possibility of more but resigned to the idea that it may not happen and, in the meantime, they've got an adventure and sex." —Columnist Brent Ledger in the Toronto gay newspaper Xtra!, Oct. 9. "All through Cagney & Lacey nobody believed I wasn't gay. I didn't even try and fight it. It didn't matter to me. I thought, How flattering is this? I guess it was because of the character and the following I had — they must have thought, 50,000 women can't be wrong. And I wasn't married. I didn't get married until I was 48 years old." —Actress Sharon Gless to the national lesbian magazine Curve, November issue. "Gays are like English people—once they like you, they like you till death. Our country is very disposable—few of us have long careers, and I'm lucky to be one of them." —Comedian Joan Rivers to the gay newspaper Dallas Voice, Oct. 10. "My favorite gay guy is always anyone with a sense of humor and sense of style. I'm very disappointed when you meet that one gay schlub who has no sense of style. You're gay. You should know how to pick a chintz!" —Comedian Joan Rivers to the gay newspaper Dallas Voice, Oct. 10. • G A Y L I F E • O c t o b e r 3 1 - N o v e m b e r 1 4 , 2 0 0 8 • PA G E 4 3

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FICTION - continued from page 29

pist, I am here to validate those experiences, but also to help you transition back into all the things that have been going on around you since you've been unconscious." I stretched hard. I blinked a few times and licked my lips. I took in the room around me, the hospital garb I was wearing and the tubes coming out of my body. I touched my head and felt my hair, then my face. I looked at my hands and pulled up the blanket to check the rest of me. I was here. I was alive. I had, in fact, survived.

"Actually, no, but there is a police detective who'd like to speak with you about her. Should I tell him you are ready to talk?" "No. I don't like cops. Tell him to wait. I'm not ready." "Not a problem. You don't have to get into all of that just now. Try and get some rest." "Thanks, Patty." "You're welcome, Pico." "I'm glad to see you. Will you be here for a while?"

I looked at the woman sitting in the chair next to my bed. "You look familiar," I told her.

"I will. Push the little button there and ask for me. I'll come."

"I was waiting for you to notice."

"You look great, by the way," I said as she got close to the door.

"What's your name?"

Patty stood to leave the room.

space of Asha's neck and shoulder. It smelled good there, like warm pie and pine. I pushed my face into the soft skin at her collar. She held me tight, one strong hand rubbed my back while the other held tight to a TV controller She laughed a little at an old episode of I Love Lucy playing quietly on a TV ahead of the bed, the jiggle that moved in her belly because of it becoming a little quake in me. I felt the cool linens of her bed on my ankles and met her toes with mine. Asha laughed a little more at Lucy's long loaf of bread growing out of an oven. Need to catch up? Read the full story at Send your thoughts to

She smiled and left.

"Patty." "We went to school together, didn't we?" We sure did!" "It's been so long. What are you doing here?" "I work here, at the hospital. When I heard you were here, I got excited. There have been a lot of people waiting for you to wake up," she said. "Oh, yeah?" I joked. "Is that crazy woman still after me?"

As the last bit of her waving hand disappeared, a sharp pain struck my chest. I gasped for air and struggled for a deep breath. I couldn't get one. An alarm from a machine above my head started to whirl. I closed my eyes, trying to focus on opening my throat and pulling as much oxygen as I could inside of me. But it didn't work. I began to panic and then I stopped.


ACCOUNTING Heiffner & Associates 6706 German Hill Rd. Dundalk, MD 21222 410-285-3920 AUTOMOTIVE Meineke Car Care Center 7604 Harford Rd. Parkville, MD 21234 410-665-0710 Tate Mini of Annapolis 25 Old Mill Bottom Rd. N. Annapolis, MD 21409 410-349-2131 BARS / NIGHTCLUBS Baltimore Eagle 2022 N. Charles St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-685-3219 Club Hippo 1 W. Eager St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-576-0018 Club Phoenix 1 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-837-3906


New Wave Singers PO Box 2012 Baltimore, MD 21203 410-558-4692 CHURCHES Catholic Archdiocese of Baltimore 320 Cathedral St. Baltimore, MD 20201 410-547-5486 First & St. Stephen’s United Church 6915 York Rd. Baltimore, MD 21212 410-377-5224

St. John’s of Baltimore 2640 St. Paul St. Baltimore, MD 21218 410-366-7733 COMPUTER / TECHNOLOGY CONSULTING Computer Handyman of Maryland 443-827-0433 CONSTRUCTION Laurence Construction David Meltzer 6999 Reiserstown Rd., Suite 1 Baltimore, MD 21215 410-764-7100 NLT Construction 9216 Liberty Rd. Randallstown, MD 21133 410-922-6475

First Unitarian Church 1 W. Hamilton St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-685-2330

COUNSELING / THERAPY Patti Desert, LCSW-C Singular Pathways 208 E. Melrose Ave. Baltimore, MD 21212 410-435-3755

Metropolitan Community Church of Baltimore 401 W. Monument St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-669-6222

Laura June, Ph.D. Belvedere Towers, Suite 105A 1190 W. Northern Pkwy. Baltimore, MD 21210 410-235-7899

Memorial Episcopal Church 1407 Bolton St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-669-0220

Jeff Klug, LCSW The Rotunda, Suite 108 711 W. 40th St. Baltimore, MD 21211 410-241-4215

St. Bernadette Parish 801 Stevenson Rd. Severn, MD 21144 410-969-2785



I awoke in a familiar place-- in the

SERVICE ACCOMMODATIONS Baltimore Tremonts 222 St. Paul St. Baltimore, MD 21202 410-561-8886

What are

Samuel J. Kelly, LCSW-C Ellen Schwartz Patterson, LCSW-C The Shell Building, Suite 108 200 E. Joppa Rd.

Towson, MD 21286 410-583-8846 Robin Richardson, LCSW-C The Rotunda, Suite 412 711 W. 40th St. Baltimore, MD 21211 410-261-3323 Women’s Growth Center 5209 York Rd. Baltimore, MD 21212 410-532-2476 FINANCIAL SERVICES Yoshiko Hayakawa First Financial Group 401 Washington Ave., 6th floor Baltimore, MD 21204 410-828-5400 x4178 FITNESS Mt. Vernon Fitness 1016 N. Charles St. Baltimore, MD 21201 FRAMING Fast Frame of Bel Air 1431 Rock Spring Rd. Bel Air, MD 21014 410-836-0017 HEALTH / DENTAL Chase Brexton Health Services 1001 Cathedral St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-837-2050 Dr. Samuel Westrick 3100 St. Paul St., Suite 5 Baltimore, MD 21218 410-243-5544

HEALTH INSURANCE Trey Ellison III Alliance for Affordable Services Baltimore, MD 443-468-6171 JEWELERS Craig Coyne Jewelers 8113 Main St. Ellicott City, MD 21043 410-243-5544 LEGAL SERVICES Law offices of Constandin Alivizatos 111 S. Calvert St. Baltimore, MD 21202 410-385-5397 Lynda Dee, Attorney at Law 201 N. Charles St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-332-1170 National Adoption and Surrogacy Center Hilary Neiman, Esq. 30 Courthouse Square, Suite 106 Rockville, MD 20850 301-340-7228 Mark Scurti Hodes, Pessin & Katz, PA 410-938-8718 Zavos Law Group Washington, DC Baltimore, MD 443-570-6205 LOCKSMITHS Robert’s Key Service 217 W. Read St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-728-7484

MORTGAGE SERVICES Marva J. Laws American Financial Resources Bel Air, MD 410-734-6688 1-888-553-5513 Richard Pazornik SunTrust Mortgage 410-561-4139 azornik NONPROFIT ORGANIZATIONS Hearts and Ears 10 W. Biddle St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-528-0444 PHARMACIES Mount Vernon Pharmacy 900 Cathedral St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-539-8030 Park Avenue Pharmacy 1535 Park Ave. Baltimore, MD 21217 410-225-0800 Real Estate Nancy Corporon RE/MAX Advantage Realty 8815 Centre Park Dr. Columbia, MD 21045 410-740-1200 Stephen Johnson Long & Foster Real Estate 10805 Hickory Ridge Rd. Columbia, MD 21044 410-715-7891

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David Ostrowski & Pat Stokeley Long & Foster Real Estate 410-931-6300 RESTAURANTS / CATERING Café Boheme 401 E. Pratt St. Baltimore, MD 21202 410-347-9898 Sascha’s 527 N. Charles St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410-539-8880 Spice Company 4 W. University Pkwy. Baltimore, MD 21218 410-235-8200 Synagogues Beth El Congregation of Baltimore 8101 Park Heights Ave. Baltimore, MD 21208 410-484-0411 THEATRES Hippodrome Theatre France-Merrick Performing Arts Center 12 N. Eutaw St. Baltimore, MD 21202 410-547-SEAT Toby’s Dinner Theatre of Baltimore 5625 O’Donnell St. Baltimore, MD 21224 410-995-1969 Toby’s Dinner Theatre of Columbia 5900 Symphony Woods Rd. Columbia, MD 21044 410-995-1969

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House or Apartment for Rent


MT. WASHINGTON Quaint cottage—living room, bedroom, kitchen, sun room and bath. Working fireplace, central air. Secluded street. Call 410-664-4242.

BRAD'S SPECIAL TOuCH A hot full body/full satisfaction massage in your home, hotel, or my NEW waterfront studio. Guys or couples. Visa/MC. 443-6950141, or

GREAT APARTMENT fOR RENT (HISTORIC LAuRAvILLE) Huge 1 BR Apt. on 2nd foor of very appealing and very well maintained detached house. $770 per month includes water, heat, fuel for cooking, security, and satellite TV with HBO and Showtime. Convenient parking. Small pets OK & Welcome. Call 410-404-9411.

GREAT MASSAGE Swedish or sensual, by attractive guy with awesome hands. Incall/Outcall, reasonable rates, 15 years experience. Craig 410-336-8956 or

ROLAND PARk, BALTIMORE CHARMING 3 BR HOME Remodeled bath and kitchen, hardwood floors throughout, washer/dryer, dishwasher, back yard and deck, front porch, 3rd floor loft/office, vintage chandeliers, fine woodwork, plaster walls, hot water radiators, natural gas. Newly painted, tree-lined street, walk to restaurants, schools and universities. Looking for someone who appreciates craftsmanship. Three people maximum, no dogs. $1480/mo. Dave, 410-662-1236 or 443-255-6770 or


the local gay market.

advertise in gay life! It’s easy to place your Market Place ad.

Call us at 410.837.7748 We’ll do the rest! 25 words for $20! 25¢ per word after that. Box it or add a graphic for $5 more.

ANSWERS TO Q PUZZLE • G A Y L I F E • O c t o b e r 3 1 - N o v e m b e r 1 4 , 2 0 0 8 • PA G E 4 5

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Plus level class now forming See details at our website!

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gl 10 31 08:Gaylife 10/29/08 5:32 PM Page 47 • G A Y L I F E • O c t o b e r 3 1 - N o v e m b e r 1 4 , 2 0 0 8 • PA G E 4 7

gl 10 31 08:Gaylife 10/29/08 5:32 PM Page 48

Vol. 30, No. 22, October 31 - November 13, 2008  

Kristine W.Miss Gay America 2009BACVA Host Baltimore's first LGBT Education ForumGeorgina Beyer