THE COMMUNITY COUNCIL’S MONTHLY NEWSLETTER
Balmullo Newsletter Also online at www.issuu.com/balmullo
Just who is our Father Christmas? In this issue Winter Visitor
New Years Party
Sir Ming Campbell MP 13 Rod Campbell MSP
What is a PC virus?
Fife Thistle FC
The last 2 winters have been notable for the large numbers of Waxwings visiting Britain, including flocks seen around Balmullo. This year is very different with only a few small groups seen. However, a much rarer visitor has arrived locally and hopefully may stay around for some time. A Great Grey Shrike was first spotted beyond the east end of RAF Leuchars on 23 November and was there for at least 5 days. It then disappeared but was found again on 5 D e c e m b e r a t Guardbridge. It has been seen frequently up to 12 December at least. Usually only a small number of these birds (recent yearly average 7) are seen each winter in Scotland, often in or near forestry plantations. The last one seen in North-east Fife was at Newport in 1996. This species of shrike, Latin name Lanius Excubitor, is about 25 cm long and has a very helpful habit (for birdwatchers) of sitting up high on the top of bushes or fenceposts, from where it scans for its main prey of small rodents, beetles and smaller birds. It has a habit of creating a â€œlarderâ€? of food items, by impaling dead prey on thorns for later consumption when perhaps weather conditions make hunting difficult.
BALMULLO COMMUNITY COUNCIL Members
Councillors Alison Jeffrey email@example.com
Chairman: Zoë Sanders firstname.lastname@example.org
John Docherty 871497 email@example.com
Treasurer: Andrew Falconer firstname.lastname@example.org
Secretary: Raymond Crush email@example.com
Fife Councillors Maggie Taylor 01382 552718 firstname.lastname@example.org Tim Brett 01382 330905 email@example.com Ron Caird firstname.lastname@example.org
Hannah Goldsack email@example.com
Newsletter: Ina Cameron 870253 firstname.lastname@example.org
Useful Contacts Burnside Hall Keeper
Rev. Caroline Taylor
Dog Warden Community Police
0845 155 0022 P.C. Gavin Rae
0845 600 5702
RAF Aircraft Noise
Statements made or opinions expressed in this Newsletter do not necessarily reflect the views of the Balmullo Community Council or any of its officers. Advert Prices from January 2012 Small Half Page Full Page
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TO ALL ADVERTISERS – Please check your advert. If you would like to remove it or change it in any way, please let me know. Either by phone or email. My details are on page 2 of this newsletter - Ina Cameron.
IAN GODDARD PROPERTIES 15 High Street + Newport-on-Tay Fife DD6 8AB
Readers may be aware that Ian Goddard Properties, estate and letting agent based in High Street, Newport-on-Tay, is now closed. Ian Goddard has reached the age when he can apply for his bus pass and is retiring from business. The property sales business is transferred to Blackadders in Dundee (01382 342222); the lettings and property management business has been taken on by Ferryport Property Services Limited (Calum Brebner 01382 552633). Ian Goddard thanks all who have consulted, instructed and supported the estate agency over the last 5 years. Both the welcome received when we opened and the goodwill shown at closing have been thoroughly appreciated. We leave no debts, and while the future of the leased office is not in our control, we hope that we have helped some people achieve their aims during our tenure. Ian Goddard
LEUCHARS QUALITY MEATS 24 Main Street, Leuchars Quality Scotch Beef Pork : Chicken : Lamb Also a selection of Steak Pies Individual Pies : Cold Meats : Eggs & Bacon Orders will be made up on request for collection: at 24 Main Street Leuchars KY16 0HN Tel: 01334 839213 Email: email@example.com
DECEMBER 18th Balmullo Paths Group leaving Burnside Hall at 1pm (this is a week earlier than usual) 18th Carol singing in Burnside hall at 6.30pm. All welcome 19th Prize Bingo at Bowling Club 7.30pm 24th Pyjama Service in Burnside hall at 6.30pm 31st New Year’s Family Party in Burnside Hall. Tickets from Lynn 870466 JANUARY 2012 5th WRI in Burnside Hall at 7.15pm. All ladies welcome 8th Golf Society 10.30am at Charlton Golf Course. 9th Community Council Meeting in Burnside
Hall at 7.30pm. All welcome 13th Prize Bingo at Bowling Club 7.30pm 23rd Meeting in the School at 7pm to discuss changes to Village Park 29th Paths Group leaving Burnside Hall at 1pm FEBRUARY 26th Paths Group leaving Burnside Hall at 1pm MARCH 25th Paths Group leaving Burnside Hall at 2pm
Running an event? Let everyone know about it. Email firstname.lastname@example.org
Balmullo Bowling Green Play outdoors in summer Indoors in winter Variety of competitions and friendly matches every week No experience required. All welcome to join. Call John on 01334 870196
200 CLUB DECEMBER WINNERS £50 £20 £20 £20 £20 £20 £10 £10 £10 £10 £10
Mr & Mrs Fernie, School Road Mrs Cameron, Lucklaw Road Mrs Wardlaw, Park View Mr Docherty, Pitcairn Drive Mr Wiles, Greenacre Mrs Carr, Pitcairn Drive Mrs Davie, Pitcairn Drive Mrs Hood, The Mount Mr Scott, Smithy Road Mrs Nicoll, David Wilson Park Mrs McKay, Park View
How to Join? It's easy to join the 200 Club. Call or email Ina at email@example.com or call 870253. It only costs £1 per entry per month, and you can enter as many times as you like. We are currently trying to raise money for various Balmullo community activities and projects.
FAMILY NEW YEAR’S PARTY Tickets are now on sale for the Family New Year’s Party in the Burnside Hall on Saturday 31st December 2011 from 8pm ‘till late. Adults £2 and kids under 16) £1. Sorry but no unaccompanied children BRING YOUR OWN DRINKS AND NIBBLES Contact Lynn on 870466 for tickets and more info.
9/12/11 to 04/01/12
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Only £1.00 BOGOF Only £5 BOGOF Only £7.49 Only £3.99 Only £16.99
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Spar Bacon Pepsi 2ltr Utterly Butterly Space Raiders 12pk Valencia Wines Glen Afton whisky 70cl
BOGOF Any 2 for £2 Only £1 Only £1.50 Only £3.99 Only £10.99
This is our last meeting for 2011 and it was good to see all those who came along to support us. We were missing Cllr Taylor who is away visiting family by in her place Cllr Tim Brett came along to look after us. We also had Mr Cox from Fife Council to give a Quarry Road Report (the gist of it is in the Newsletter). Cllr Brett assures us that they will be starting work the first week in January on transferring the grass patch in Burnside into parking places for the many cars there. This will be very welcome. We were given an update on the plans for the village park from Ronnie Davidson where hopefully there will eventually be a Multy Use Games Area (MUGA). This will also include possibly moving the football pitch around and also making room for a future Teen Shelter. There was much discussion both for and against some of the plans. If you have an interest in future projects for the park there will be an open meeting in the School on 23rd January 2012 at 7pm so please come along and join the discussion. There have been quite a few complaints regarding cyclists at night without lights so the Community Police Officer will be asked to look into this. Our next meeting is Monday 9th January in Burnside Hall at 7.30pm.
We wish you all a Merry Christmas and Good Health in the coming New Year. EDITORIAL
I attended the RAF forum on Wednesday night. There was no new update regarding the arrival of the Army. Over the weekend 17th/18th December they are expecting the return of two large planes and some personnel from Afganistan. From 21st December to 3rd January this will be a holiday period with no flying unless of an emergency nature. It is hoped that there will be an Air Show again this year with Army personnel also taking part. The expected date will be 15 th September. We have been having quite a few power cuts lately. I phoned the other night to the emergency service and they knew nothing about it so it does pay to phone in. The same applies to street lights, unless you phone the Council they know nothing about where lights are not working. If you cannot give an exact house location for the street light you will have to supply the number that is on the pole. The telephone numbers are Electricity cuts 08452 727999 Street lights 08451 550011. (8am-8pm). Hope this is helpful.
Mike and myself would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas and the very best of happiness in the New Year. SENIOR CITIZEN’S RAFFLE 1st prize 2nd prize 3rd prize 4th prize
£100 – D. Hart (Crossford) £25 Meal Voucher – Evelyn Calder (Balmullo) Hamper – Jacqueline Stockton (Balmullo) 1 Litre Whisky – Mr Browne (Invergowrie)
There was also a lot of other winners from Balmullo, so a huge Thanks to everyone who bought tickets from us. Thanks again from the Committee.
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COMMUNITY SPEED WATCH SCHEME
My article in the October issue, asking for volunteers to participate in the Community Speed Watch Scheme at appropriate points in Balmullo, has had a very disappointing response. To date, only 4 people have indicated their willingness to assist and, in order to make the scheme viable and training by Fife Constabulary worthwhile, we need more volunteers. Please give some more thought to this request. We need a minimum of 6 volunteers (over 18) willing to contribute just 1 hour per week. Equipment provided will include a “radar speed gun” and high-visibility jackets. Training will be given in the use of the equipment and also on health and safety issues. Pamphlets will be available to hand out to any drivers enquiring about the activity. As I noted before, the real aim is to encourage drivers to slow down on seeing the volunteers. Trials have shown that most drivers co-operate and volunteers operate with little or no risk to themselves or others. The potential benefits could be life-changing. If we can help to reduce vehicle speeds to 30 mph on the main road, or 20 mph within the village, it might save a child from death or serious injury. Again, anyone who is willing to volunteer should please contact me by e-mail or phone (details inside cover) so that we might then have sufficient people to get this very worthwhile activity off the ground.
YPR UPDATE: DECEMBER 2011 It has been quite a quiet month for the YPR group, with work still progressing for funding in conjunction with the MUGA project. Once this is in place, we can then work towards our final goal to establish a shelter in the village for Young People and to improve park facilities. We still, however, need lots of input from the Young People in the community. As a result we have decided to change the format of our meetings for a trial period, beginning in February 2012. We will all meet in one big “discussion circle”, rather than having the formal audience/top table. More details about these changes will be included in the January newsletter. 2011 has been a year in which the group has been finding its feet. While this has been successful, we really hope 2012 will be the year that our hard work finally comes into fruition. Remaining meetings for this session are: 9th January, 13th February, 12th March, (9th April), 11th June. These will be held at 6.30pm in Burnside Hall. We hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year From your YPRs, Cameron, Danielle & Lewis
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Come along to your Community meeting in the Village Hall January 9th 2012 @ 7.30pm
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STATEMENT ON QUARRY ROAD
Mr Cox, Fife Coun. Trans. Dept.
There are two categories of road, namely Public and Private. Public roads are those roads that are included in a list of Public Roads kept by a Local Roads Authority and are maintained by the Road Authority. Private roads are those over which the public have a right of passage but whose maintenance is the responsibility of the frontages (all those whose property touches on such a road). Quarry Road is unadopted by Fife Council and is deemed a private road. Fife Council recognises that several properties are served by this road and under the optional powers granted in Section 14 of the Roads (Scotland) Act has on occasion assisted in the maintenance of this road from a limited budget resource. The Act highlights that a Local Roads Authority does not incur any future maintenance responsibility through providing assistance. Under these delegated powers arrangements will be made to have the road surface patched by the Roadmaster as in previous years. No time scale can be given for this work other than sometime between February and July 2012. However as detailed above, the maintenance responsibility and liability lies with the owners of the road and not Fife Council. In other words you use this road at your own risk.
On a personal note does anyone have a Panasonic DVD recorder & writer? I have one and am struggling to use it, would be happy to have some advice from anyone who knows what all the technical jargon means in my instruction manual. I do need to use it to both record certain programmes and to then put them on to a DVD to send to an elderly friend. - Ina 07711 545 927.
BALMULLO GOLF SOCIETY This month as is usual at this time of year, we stayed local and played at Drumoig Golf Club. Despite the poor forecast eight players attended and enjoyed a dry but crispy morning and although the cold affected some of the players the course was playable and was enjoyed by those who played. Willie Rattray was this monthâ€™s winner with Pete Colford the runner-up. Jim Sidey was most accurate at the 16th winning nearest the pin and Nicol McNair won the hidden holes. The yellow ball winners were Pete Colford, John Cox, Willie Rattray and Nicol McNair. Charlton Golf Course has been booked for January 8th at 10.30am.
LEUCHARS & DISTRICT GARDENING CLUB On 8 December, despite the very stormy conditions, the third talk in the Gardening Club's winter programme took place. An Evening of Floral Art with Alyson Christie and Andy Smith proved very popular, and a lovely start to the festive season. The Club looks forward to welcoming more guest speakers in the New Year.
Our new President Mrs. Ann Falconer welcomed members and special guest Mrs Mhairi Wilson to the annual Christmas party on Thursday 1st December. All present enjoyed an excellent Christmas buffet with a wide variety of festive dishes provided by the members. Thank you to everyone involved for their efforts in making the meal so enjoyable. Mrs. Grace Steven recited 2 festive poems and everyone joined in singing a selection of Christmas Carols. Our special guest was Santa, of course, who distributed presents to all. The first meeting of 2012 will be on Thursday 5th January at 7.15 pm in Burnside Hall. The evening will be a Membersâ€™ Night. Please remember that subscriptions are due to be paid to the Treasurer. Competitions will be 3 pieces of Shortbread, a favourite Cup and Saucer and Flower of the Month. We look forward to welcoming any new members.
A Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all.
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YOUR MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT
Sir Menzies Campbell
"As one year draws to a close we inevitably begin to look forward to the next. Many people will no doubt feel we have been looking forward to 2012 and one sporting event in particular for too long already! But I will readily admit that I cannot wait for the London Olympic Games to begin. I am not an impartial witness. My participation in the Tokyo Olympic Games of 1964 was so memorable that I can recall almost all of it as if it were yesterday. My principal recollection is sheer terror of participating on such a world stage, particularly in the final of the four times one hundred metres relay, where the threat of dropping the baton hung over me like the Sword of Damocles. I also attend the Olympic Board under the joint chairmanship of Jeremy Hunt and Boris Johnson. The Olympic facilities are on time and under budget. How often have we been able to say that of a major public project in this country, and how often have we seen major sporting events like the Olympic Games opening elsewhere to the smell of paint and the noise of construction? Not often in the former case and too often in the latter. But the issue with which I am most concerned is sporting legacy. Every year in late summer a multi-discipline event known as the School Games takes place. This year the games were held in Sheffield, with teams from Scotland, England, Ireland and Wales. Next year it is planned to hold these games in May. What makes them so special is that they will use all of the Olympic facilities. When I discussed the prospect in Sheffield with the young athletes I met there from all over Britain the reaction was electric. What could give a greater encouragement and be a more effective contribution to sporting legacy than the chance to compete on the very track where we will see Usain Bolt and Jessica Ennis? The Schools Games involved children from each country of the United Kingdom and the organisers of the Torch Relay similarly hope to involve communities across the length and breadth of Great Britain. The Torch comes to Fife in early June and I expect many will want to watch its progress and share in a once in a lifetime opportunity. London will be different but the drama and excitement will be the same. Hopes dashed, dreams realised. The Olympics are still The Greatest Show on Earth. And a little part of it will be in Fife. Menzies Campbell Office of Sir Menzies Campbell MP Member of Parliament for North East Fife House of Commons, London, SW1A 0AA Tel: 020 7219 6910 | Fax: 020 7219 0559
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YOUR MEMBER OF SCOTTISH PARLIAMENT This time of year gives us the opportunity to reflect; to remember the good times, and the bad, and to think ahead to the future. The announcement of the closure of RAF Leuchars was a dominant event in the last twelve months and it’s deeply unfortunate that we go into the New Year with continuing uncertainty about the timetable for the army’s arrival. The appointment of the new Secretary of State for Defence has delivered little clarity so far, and seasonal goodwill towards him will soon run out if answers on RAF Leuchars are not forthcoming. Readers will be aware that the future of the Leuchars Airshow in 2012 and beyond remains uncertain. I have been in contact with the Ministry of Defence over this issue since September, but still await an answer. I shall continue to press for one, but I am sure you will all share my hope that there will be a Leuchars Airshow in 2012. At Christmas, we should not forget our armed forces personnel who cannot be with their families due to their responsibilities. The constant sacrifices they make on our behalf never go unnoticed, and I am sure we all agree that we owe them our thoughts and best wishes at this time of year above all. Despite the fact that Christmas is approaching, the pace of constituency work has not relented. At a local level, concerns over the future of dispensing services in Balmullo continue while the rollout of Next Generation broadband remains an extremely important issue to many constituents. The Scottish Government is continuing to consider plans to introduce Next Generation broadband across the country, and I certainly empathise with the need for improved service in our area. I am very keen to see small communities like Balmullo benefit from the assistance being offered by the Government and am very pleased that many groups are taking the opportunity to make submissions directly to a Scottish Parliament committee. At the Parliament, the consultation on same-sex marriage closed on Friday 9 December and it was pleasing to see that 50,000 responses had been received by the deadline. I have no doubt that the Scottish Government will consider the responses fully. Additionally, the Offensive Behaviour at Football and Threatening Communications (Scotland) Bill has now been approved to become law next year. Whatever the merits of the legislation, I am certain that there will be a significant improvement to the atmosphere at football grounds which will hopefully mean parents will not be discouraged from taking their children to matches from 2012 onwards. My office will be closed for a few days over the Christmas holidays but shall reopen from early January. I encourage you all to get in touch with me if you have an issue with which you believe I can be of help. I’d like to sign off by wishing all residents of Balmullo, the surrounding area, and anyone else who reads this newsletter, a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Roderick Campbell - M.S.P. I can be contacted by the following means: Phone: 01334 844971 (Cupar) 01313486524 (Edinburgh) http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Roderick-Campbell-SNP/186463491388862 Email: Roderick.Campbell.email@example.com Post:
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JUST WHAT IS A COMPUTER VIRUS?
A Computer Virus is usually a small piece of software that can be attached to another larger program, email or attachment. It’s purpose often is to gain access to information or to corrupt information within a computer system. Some computer viruses are relatively harmless. For example, some of them just cause a certain message to pop up on a user's computer screen. Other viruses can be deadly to the computers they infect, erasing information and hard drives, stealing data, and slowing down the entire computer system. Like other software programs, someone must create and write a computer virus; once they are created, viruses can multiply rapidly and spread themselves from computer to computer. Computer Virus Definition & Characteristics: A Computer Virus is a program that can copy itself and infect a computer without the permission or knowledge of the user. A computer virus has two major characteristics: the ability to replicate itself, and the ability to attach itself to another computer file. Every file or program that becomes infected can also act as a virus itself, allowing it to spread to other files and computers. The term "computer virus" is often used incorrectly as a catch-all phrase to include all types of Malware such as Computer Worms, Trojan Horses, Spyware, Adware, and Rootkits - all of which are slightly different than Computer Viruses. A computer virus needs another program in order to be able to be activated and infect other computers files. Essentially, a computer virus rides piggyback on another file into your computer once it is executed, the virus will continue to replicate and attach itself to other program files and continue to spread. A Brief History of Computer Viruses: Although computer scientists were aware of the theoretical possibility of computer viruses for decades, it was not until the 1980s that viruses began to gain a hold and multiply in large numbers. With the advent of the personal computer, floppy disk drives, and other portable information storage devices, it became easier to program and transfer viruses from one machine to another. Fred Cohen is often cited as the first person to use the term "computer virus" in an academic paper in 1984, although some suggest that he may have learned it from his mentor Leonard Adleman. Does My Computer Have a Virus? Of course, if you ask anyone the question “what is a Computer Virus?”, the reply is likely going to be a bit jumbled. There are many different forms of computer viruses, although many have the same goal; to slow the infected computer system, steal and/or copy information from the computer, and attach itself to sent files and attachments in order to spread to other computer systems. The following are a few tell-tale signs that your computer might have a virus: • Slow response and slow program execution • Random hard drive crashes and restarts • Distorted graphics and text • Files that have mysteriously vanished • Extensive pop-up ads • Inability to open files with existing passwords How Can I Protect My Computer from a Virus? It is far better to avoid computer viruses and take proactive measures to protect your computer system than it is to clean up after them once they have gotten into your computer and caused damage. The following tips will help increase your odds of avoiding infection from a computer virus: • Download programs only from trusted, reputable websites • Install a quality Internet firewall • Do Not open suspicious emails or email attachments • MOST IMPORTANTLY do not skimp on internet security. Make sure you use a trusted quality security program - such as Norton, Kaspersky, or BitDefender Internet Security.
WHERE DID YOUR CHRISTMAS DINNER COME FROM? Jeremy Greenwood Many birdwatchers would name the wren as the commonest bird in Britain, with about 8 million pairs breeding in an average year. But the domestic chicken, raised for meat and kept for egg-production, is about ten times more abundant and it will be on the Christmas dinner table of many people. Our domestic chickens are descended from a wild bird, the red jungle fowl of India, probably with some hybrid input from other species from south-east Asia. Chickens appear to have been domesticated many thousands of years ago, judging from bones recovered by archaeologists. They reached Europe long before the time of Christ and the Romans developed a complex poultry industry – though this disappeared when the Roman Empire collapsed and large-scale poultry-keeping was not really revived until the 19th century. Notwithstanding the numbers of chickens in the country, the turkey is probably much commoner on the Christmas table. Because they grow quickly to such a large size turkeys have been popular ever since they were introduced to Britain during the 16th century from Mexico, where they had been domesticated long before. (Wild turkeys are still common across much of North America). Two other birds common on the Christmas table are both derived from species that are native to Britain itself. Our commonest wild duck, the mallard, which occurs across Europe, North America, and Asia, was probably in Asia thousands of years ago, like the chicken. Domestic ducks are still inter-fertile with wild mallards and many of the individuals that one sees in town parks show signs of such mixed ancestry. Asians of long ago were also probably responsible for domesticating greylag geese, the ancestors of the domestic goose. The greylag is the only goose that breeds naturally in Britain, though most of the geese that we see flying over Balmullo in winter are migrants from Iceland (or, indeed, are pink-footed geese, which do not breed with us but also come from Iceland and Greenland in the winter). So, when you give thanks for your Christmas dinner remember to include the efforts of those Asians or Mexicans of long ago. Without them our diets would be much less interesting.
FIFE THISTLE FOOTBALL CLUB
With the season now well underway Balmullo side Fife Thistle have begun to improve on their poor early season form although the poor weather has not helped them with several games cancelled lately they have continued to climb up the league table with only one defeat from their last five matches that coming at the hands of a very strong St. Andrews University side. Behind the scenes things are progressing in the setting up of youth teams with coaches and volunteers currently being sought with Active Schools assisting the club where possible. If you wish to get involved either in the youth or adult set up then please call Colin Murray on 07702385567 or email firstname.lastname@example.org We are also seeking a grounds man to maintain the playing surface at Balmullo Playing Fields if any of you green fingered folk are looking for a project!! November 12th 2011 – League Match - Fife Thistle 1 v 1 Denbeath - Scorer – Jason Herkes Team – Niven, Halley, Kreczak, Robertson (Capt.), Ross, Cameron, Layton, Stuart, Kirby, Jas. Herkes, Dawkins. - Subs – Barrie, Jam. Herkes, Hallam, C. Murray, Simpson November 19th 2011 – League Match – St. Andrews University 1 v 0 Fife Thistle Team – Sullivan, Halley, Dawkins, Robertson (Capt.), Ross, Kreczak, Layton, Stuart, Butchart, Jas. Herkes - Subs – Jam. Herkes, Hallam, Dunn, C. Murray, Simpson Saturday 26th November – League Match – Fife Thistle 3 v 2 Valleyfield - Scorers – Halley (2), Jason Herkes Team – C. Murray, Halley, Kreczak, Robertson (Capt.), Ross, Cameron, Layton, A. Murray, Grimshaw-Else, Kirby, Jas. Herkes - Subs – Dawkins, Jam. Herkes, Dunn, Hallam, Simpson Saturday 3rd December – League Match – Fife Thistle 5 v 2 Auchtermuchty Bellvue Scorers – Grimshaw-Else (2), Jas. Herkes, Kirby, Simpson Team – Sullivan, Dunn, Dawkins, Robertson (Capt.), Ross, Jam. Herkes, Layton, Stuart, Grimshaw-Else, Jas. Herkes, Kirby - Subs – Simpson, Spratt, C. Murray, A. Murray, Hallam
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Prices from ÂŁ15 to ÂŁ40 for 1hr treatment Concession/Student Rates available
Reiki Master Annmarie Local Treatment Room Mobile Service Available
MORE FOR THOSE OF A MORE GENEROUS AGE……… How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were? (Satchel Paige) He was either a man of about 150 who was rather young for his years or a man of about a 110 who had been aged by trouble. (P.G. Woodhouse) If you want to know how old a woman is, ask her sister-in-law (Ed Howe) One day, aged 45, I just went into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea, and when I came out I found I was 68. (Thora Hird) Old age is like waiting in the departure lounge of life. Fortunately, we are in England and the train is bound to be late. (Milton Shulman) I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well. (Diane Ackerman) As I get older the years just fly by. I don’t think there was an April this year. (Jeremy Hardy) They say such lovely things about people at their funerals, it’s a shame I’m going to miss mine by just a few days. (Bob Monkhouse) We spend our lives on the run. We get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work, and then we retire. And what do they give us? A bloody clock. (Dave Allen) Where would I like my ashes scattered? I don’t know. Surprise me (Bob Hope) Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative. (Maurice Chevalier) The members seated in the Pavilion at the Test Match declined to join in the Mexican Wave. Well, when you get to a certain age, every time you just get out of your chair, it’s a bit of an adventure. (Henry Blofeld) Enjoying sex, loving fashion, having fun, decorating our homes, going on lavish holidays – the list is endless. Onward! (Joan Collins) I believe you should live each day as if it was your last, which is why I don’t have any clean laundry, because who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? (Jack Handey) Let’s not go our and get denture cream. Let’s go to the nude beach and let our wrinkled selves hang out! We’ll sit on the boardwalk and watch the old men rearrange themselves when they come out of the water. (Sophia Petrillo) Don’t ever save anything for a special occasion. Being alive is the special occasion. (Avril Sloe) I wouldn’t be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. (Tony Curtis).
DazLyn Motorshine Mobile Valeting We come to you whether itâ€™s the Home Workplace or even the Golf Course, All water and electrics are on board our vehicle.
Cars Vans Caravans Conservatories From a Mini Valet to a Full Showroom Finish including Sanitisation, Bacteria, and Virus Elimination system. (Certificate can be provided to confirm this treatment).
Gift Vouchers Available Tel Daz on 07733 116631 www.dazlynmotorshinevaleting.co.uk Find us on FACEBOOK and Yell.com
Mobile Library Every 2nd Monday Lucklaw Road (2.00pm) & Hayston Park (2.40pm)
Please use the Van as often as possible.
KEVIN MALONEY FOR ALL YOUR DECORATION NEEDS 01334 870241 OR 07941 545052
Collect your own eggs with a Hen Keeping Starter Kit
BALMULLO COMMUNITY NEEDS YOU
Easyclean Plastic hen coops starting from ÂŁ170, hens, feed and health packs All supplied locally with ongoing support
Hens-Made-Easy 01334 870637 / 07942004487 www.henkeepingfife.co.uk
12th December - 7.30pm Burnside Hall
CHIC O’HARE DOMESTIC APPLIANCE REPAIRS Over 35 years experience Prompt reliable service NEWPORT-ON-TAY TEL 01382 541702 MOBILE 07802 538284
S. GUNBY ELECTRICAL ALL TYPES OF ELECTRICAL WORK UNDERTAKEN
Fast and Reliable Service Call us on 07980 934516 or leave a message on 01334 657333
JOHNSTONE PLUMBING, HEATING & GAS SERVICES
Fast and reliable service Emergency Call-Outs 207782
MILLBANK, 28 SCHOOL ROAD, BALMULLO TEL/FAX: 01334 870691 MOB: 07966 937842 EMAIL: firstname.lastname@example.org
M B C T
CERAMIC TILING & PLASTERING ALL ASPECTS OF FLOOR & WALL TILING UNDERTAKEN Skim Coat Plastering Tel: 01334 870565
Mob: 07821 086189
Bill Donald Services Flooring Ltd Out of this world! E mail email@example.com
01334 870815 Mobile 0797 442 1236 Phone
Some say, on another planet...
Beautiful photos of Balmullo in winter by Cameron Campbell
MERRY CHRISTMAS &
A PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR From
Paul , Morag & Mark & all at Monteaths
May God go with you