18 // DAMN GOOD NIGHT
Bartender: Comes across the bar straining to hear my sweaty plea for ‘AQQUUAAA’ First Drink: Water Last Drink: Water A drink for your boys at Bali Belly: I’ll shout you an espresso martini so I can sip on the froth Toast/Speech: I’d like to thank the Internet With you in the VIP: That girl you follow you on Instagram Shamelessly making out on the dance floor: That hippie chick from Ubud with the feathers in her hair Under your arm: Smooth, smells of daisies
Yasmin Suteja — A night on the town with Culture Machine’s 22-year-old Creative Director, Yasmin Suteja.
On the rail puking: The kid who had too many Small Island Ice Teas at Deus on Sunday In the toilet having sex: Free spirited Euro babe and that surfer guy you always see down at Echo Beach Sorry, seats taken: You REEK of JOOP! Surprise guest(s): Alexa Chung Designated driver: Yours truly Lost: Bike key
Your Outfit: Something white, sheer, revealing and highly impractical Arrive: Two hours late because I misplaced my bike key, or my wallet, or my Perspex backpack Venue: A dingy dive bar with leather couches and sticky beervarnished tables
Dress Code: No Scrubs
Cops show up when: My moves get ILLEGAL! Ha!
Bands: Some alternative electronic band you’ve never heard of with a 20 year old pasty kid with frizzy hair and the voice of an angel
My bad (maaf): Teddy! Not Freddy. Of course, yes! I remember. Ma’af!
Security: TIGHT like a tiger
After party: Pit Stop
Late night eats: Vegemite
You leave with: Heavy eyes and sore feet