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Clockwise from left: Peter Dinklage with Conleth Hill, Kit Harrington, Alfie Allen with Sophie Turner, Isaac Hempstead Wright
WHO WINS? WHO DIES? WHOSE BUTT SHALL BE BARED?
or the sixth year in a row, springtime means winter for fans of Game of Thrones, the highestbudget softcore series in the history of television. Winter has been coming for a while now, but because the TV show Five questions we hope get has finally caught up to George R. R. Martin’s answered in Season 6 of HBO’s books, we’ve entered festival of swords and sex weird, wild territory. The show’s sixth season preBy Drew Mackie mieres this month, and while we wait, we thought we’d wildly speculate about which of our burning questions might get answered. Spoilers potentially abound, but if you haven’t heard the rumor about Jon Snow, we’d love to know where in Westeros you’ve been hiding.
Looking for a 24-year-old dark comedy about vanity and immortality that stars multiple Oscar-winners and effortlessly stands the test of time? Look no further than Death Becomes Her, which sees its Blu-ray release on April 26. Robert Zemeckis outdid himself in this special effects-laden flick (groundbreaking at the time), but our question is, can a film be considered a “cult classic” when every gay man the world over knows when to shout “Ernest, you pushed me down the stairs” at the screen? —S.H.
What’s the deal with the Night’s King and Jon? Yeah, we’re past the speculation about whether the show will breathe life back into Jon Snow (Kit Harington). It’s going to happen. It has to. Snow’s story is too central to the overarching plot to abandon now. But here’s a Jon Snow plot point we are more interested in: Does the Night’s King (the regal ice dude Snow battled) seem unusually interested in Snow? Maybe connected? We’re hoping these new episodes explore whether there’s a connection between him and the late Jon Snow. What if he’s the one who brings Jon back to life? Will Tyrion finally get the power he’s been lacking? Though clever, Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) has yet to wield power outright in the way many of his
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associates have. But if Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) is stuck hanging out in the wop wops with the Dothraki, would that make Tyrion the pro tem ruler of Meereen? He’s her second-in-command, and this could be his stepping stone to greater power. Will Sansa avenge the Starks? As far as Sansa (Sophie Turner) knows, her family has been wiped out. While the Sansa of previous seasons was more object than agent, the show’s fifth season gave her more to do than stand around bemoaning her sad fate. This is a good trend, and we’re hoping she lands on her feet—figuratively but also literally, given how we last left her jumping apparently to her doom. How will the Tyrell siblings get out of this one? As season 5 wound down, focus shifted away from Margaery Tyrell (Natalie Dormer) and her brother, everyone’s favorite gay knight, Loras (Finn Jones). They’re still in jail, however, awaiting trial for perjury and buggery, respectively. These two are our favorite non-Stark siblings, and we really want to see them escape and work together to make Cersei (Lena Headey) as miserable as possible. Will we care about Bran again? Bran who? Oh, the Stark who took the entire fifth season off and whom we last left to hang out with magic forest creatures. Aside from the related absence of his pack animal Hodor (Kristian Nairn), we didn’t miss Bran the Backpack (Isaac Hempstead Wright) all that much, so if he’s being reintegrated into the plot, he’d better come back as a fully magic-powered superhero. Let’s see what forest magic can do. Game of Thrones Season 6 premieres Sunday, April 24 on HBO
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THE BLOW MONKEYS Not content with the revival of his iconic band The Blow Monkeys, frontman Dr. Robert has resurrected his solo career. Out There will be in stores this May. —D.R.
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