MAY 2013 • BACKROADS
Page 16
Morton’s BMW Motorcycles Presents Dr. Seymour O’Life’s MYSTERIOUS Secret Caverns • A secret no more Jeff Bahr An especially silly movie was released in 2004. Despite its ridiculous plot (we’re asked to believe that a group of hapless gym rats must compete in a professional dodge ball tournament to save their gym from a hostile takeover) Dodge Ball: A True Underdog Story has an endearing quality to it. That’s not too surprising if you think about it. Most people find it hard not to root for the underdog in these stories, particularly when that small fry is getting his brains bashed in by an evil player who revels in his power or size advantage. Such underdog stories abound in the real world. They’re not always as cut and dry as those portrayed in the movies, but when an underdog rises from the ashes of oppression to vanquish an all-powerful bully, the result can be every bit as satisfying. According to some, Secret Caverns - a comparatively obscure show cave located in Cobleskill, N.Y. - has been playing this underdog role since its inception in 1929. While Secret Caverns is blessed on a number of fronts, it has also been cursed, at least in a business sense. One need only look at its rather unfortunate address to discover why. If Cobleskill sounds familiar to you, it’s probably because of the infinitely more famous Howe Caverns which has virtually owned this town since its discovery in 1842. The massive Howe is everything that puny Secret Caverns is not, a fact that becomes strikingly apparent the very instant one enters their hillside compound and witnesses the humungous
A MER IC A visitors’ center perched high above. Trouble is Howe is located less than a mile from Secret Caverns - on the very same access road no less - so it siphons off much of its business. Actually, that’s not entirely true. Howe appeals mostly to those tourists looking for a sure thing – a pristine, antiseptic Disneyland of illuminated stalactites and stalagmites - hence the popular bus tours that make regular scheduled runs to it. Now, let me be blunt. If you’re the type who likes to run with the pack - who simply must visit the biggest and the smoothest - Howe is probably your cave. I’m sure you’ll have a nice visit and depart with some tales to tell (Howe features an underground boat ride and a one-off custom motorcycle that was produced exclusively for the operation by Orange County Choppers). On the other hand, if you’re sucked in by venues so dripping in weirdness that they qualify for our beloved Mysterious America, Secret Caverns is your only option. Such fans become true believers as they make their way to Secret Caverns from nearby Route 7. The smaller operation might not have a budget that allows it to advertise as broadly as Howe, but it more than makes up for it with bizarrely artistic billboards that begin to show up about a mile from the caverns. Are these grandiose works hippie fantasies come
SECRET CAVERNS Rip & Ride®
SUSSEXMOTORSPORTS 446 Route 23 • Sussex, NJ • Located across from the A&P Shopping Plaza
973-875-3640 • www.sussexmotorsportsnj.com • Family Owned and Operated in Northwest NJ • Near the border of Pennsylvania and New York • Wide selection of on/off road apparel, jackets, helmets, gloves and boots • Qualified Service Technicians with over 30 years combined experience to perform all your Yamaha authorized service
THIS ROUTE STARTS IN COOPERSTOWN, NY LEFT ON MAIN ST. RIGHT AT ESTLI AVE. BEAR LEFT AT CR 33 RIGHT AT HADE RD. RIGHT AT PETE HENDRICKS RD. LEFT AT RTE. 166 RIGHT AT DUBBENS CROSS RD. LEFT AT REZEN RD. BEAR RIGHT AT MIDDLEFIELD RD. BEAR RIGHT AT RTE. 165 LEFT AT CR 50 RIGHT AT RTE. 166 RIGHT AT RTE. 120 RIGHT AT RTE 10 LEFT AT GARDNERSVILLE RD. RIGHT AT RTE. 145 STRAIGHT AT ROCK DISTRICT RD. BEAR RIGHT HUBB SHUTTS RD. LEFT GROVENORS CORNER RD. RIGHT AT SAGENDORF RD. LEFT AT CAVERNS RD TO SECRET CAVERNS