The Paper • Page 2 • September 24, 2015
‘Cowboys & Indians’ Cont. from Page 1
they had no Native American ancestry at all.
However, it should be pointed out that many VIPs were sincere in their initial belief of having Native American heritage. In the case of legendary country singer, actor, and author, Johnny Cash (19322003), he always believed he had some Native American blood, somewhere in his lineage, and was quite proud of that belief. Until his family tree was scrupulously researched. The results devastated him. It was found that he had a generous portion of Scottish and English ancestry. But no Native American. Johnny Cash’s genealogysearch left no stone unturned – it was thoroughly traced back to the 11th-century. Johnny Cash faced the unexpected, and was clearly broken hearted, to put it mildly.
In respect to Johnny Cash’s initial belief, some family members and close friends, as well as countless Johnny Cash fans around the world, continue to honor his wishes and, to this day, remain steadfast that Johnny Cash, indeed, was of some Native American heritage.
Give Us This Day Our Daily Chuckle This week, a compendium of wit, wisdom and neat stuff you can tell at parties. Enjoy! Observations
The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe, before you start looking like a mental patient. My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.
My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I'm worried about the 195 lbs. I've gained. I'm getting kind of tired always slowly raising my hand when someone asks, "Who does something like that?!"
I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters.. do they just give you a bra and say, "here fill this out"..?
Another famous singer, Cher (initially of “Sonny and Cher” fame), has for years, insisted that she is 1/16th Cherokee. Since her number one hit single, “Half Breed,” topped the charts back in 1973, Cher has vigilantly maintained, to this day, that she is 1/16th Cherokee . However, her claims were widely disputed from the start, among the Anglo-American sector, as well as from the Native Americans, themselves, who never (to this day) accepted her as one of their own.
Genealogical records reveal Cher (born Cherilyn Sarkisian) to be of Armenian heritage from her father’s side, which most likely lends to her dark features. On her mother’s side, research shows some English and German, but more Irish, Dutch and French ancestry.
Nevertheless, the multiaward-winning Cher (“Best Actress” Oscar, Grammy, Emmy, and holder of three Golden Globes) continues to chant, more than forty years after her hit song “Half Breed,” that she is still 1/16th Cherokee. However, her claims are not considered valid by replicated, hard scientific investigation. It appears that over the years, countless notable individuals have, as one expert puts it:
Four-time NASCAR Sprint Cup champion Jeff Gordon announced that this will be his final season of racing. You could tell it was time for him to retire during his last race when he had his blinker on the whole time.
The speed in which a woman says "nothing" when asked "What's wrong?" is inversely proportional to the severity of the storm that's coming.
Denny's has a slogan, 'If it's your birthday, the meal is on us.' ... If you're in Denny's and it's your birthday ... your life sucks! If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "Thank you" is all I need.....not all this, "how did you get in my house" business! The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today... Pretty sure she's going to get me something.
On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week; whereas a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. ... This is upsetting news to me ... I had no idea I was Japanese.
I can't understand why women are okay that JC Penny has an older women's clothing line named, "Sag Harbor." I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.
“Fudged their resumes and claimed to be Native American, in order to appear to be more exotic.”
This recurring phenomenon has long puzzled and fascinated social scientists and cultural anthropologists, alike: “If they want to sound exotic, why not lie about being part black, or part Asian, or part Arab?” One high-profile individual, international movie queen, and popular American philanthropist, Angelina Jolie, has stated openly and defiantly that she is, indeed, a descent of Native American heritage. Angelina Jolie’s claim is that her mother, Marcheline Bertrand (19502007), was part Iroquois. However, in this particular scenario, there are various motives and factors that come into play which have caused controversy and a premature rush to judgment.
The steadfast belief from Angelina Jolie of her Iroquois bloodline on her mother’s side, was soon debunked by her own biological father, renowned American actor, Jon Voight. Voight stated numerous times to both the foreign and domestic media that his late wife, Marcheline Bertrand, had said she was part Native American only to appear more exotic, and that there was no serious credence to her claim.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can't see them pick their nose? •••••
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, 'What do you think about all this Satan stuff?'
The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.'
••••• Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?'' The mother replied, 'Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.'
The child thought about this for a moment then said, 'So why is the groom wearing black?' ••••• A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!' While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again! As she ran she once again began to pray, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late ... But please
It was further stated that Angelina Jolie’s claim was purely subjective, since she was unusually close to her mother and wanted to emulate her in every way, including sharing her claim to Iroquois ancestry. It was also common knowledge that Angelina’s late mother was executive producer of a highly-touted documentary, “Trudell,” about Native American activist, John Trudell, which was showcased at the 2005 Sundance Film Festival. Angelina’s mother was also co-founder of the All Tribes Foundation, which benefits Native Americans. It was both touching, and sad, that Angelina Jolie’s wish to honor her mother’s claim to Iroquois heritage was deflated by the world press. Not even a drop of Iroquois blood was said to be in her DNA. The final nail to her coffin that seemed to kill off Angelina Jolie’s remarks, sadly came from her biological father, actor Jon Voight, who continued to repeat that his late wife (Angelina’s mother), was “Not seriously Iroquois.” The ensuing comments from various sectors of the public were quick to render judgment, as one blog summed it up: “Why did she have to lie?” Some offered
‘Cowboys & Indians’ Cont. on Page 3
don't shove me either!' ••••• Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.' The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.'
The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!' ••••• An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, 'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.' ••••• A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?' He answered, 'Call for backup.' ••••• A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy father and thy mother,' she asked, 'Is there a
‘Chuckles’ Cont. on Page 5