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March 4, 2021

Volume 51 - No. 09

By Starla Sloan

I grew up in a small town on the Kentucky-Tennessee border where elections were determined by which politician passed out the most halfpints of liquor. When we were kids we got paid 50 cents a piece to pass out Seagram’s Seven and Coronal Lee. When we weren’t doing that, we caught crawdads in the creek and kept lightning bugs in jars. It felt like those honey-suckle summers would last forever, they didn’t. My family made their money from The Paper - 760.747.7119


email: thepaper@cox.net

the moonshine that my Papaw distilled and sold out of his trunk, until he could afford to buy a beer joint. When the next generation took over they would use the same tavern to sell cocaine to the Mafia from New York, until the TBI and FBI shut them down and sent them to the pen. ••••• I come from a small Southern town that left me wanting; a place filled with churches, beer joints, and funeral homes, so there wasn’t a lot to do except get drunk, go to church and die. Like most small towns, we

had a “Boo Radley.” Redbird had all the hallmarks of a town eccentric, a strange name, haunted appearance, and emotional damage. There were many urban legends that floated around as to how he got that way. He had functioned normally in school, and he and my brother were once friends. After his mysterious metamorphosis, he would aimlessly wander the sidewalks, sometimes skipping but always mumbling to himself. Coming upon him gave you an awkward feeling like you had interrupted a private conversation, and

Redbird Burning See Page 2

there was desperation about him, as though he had an urgent need.

The ritual most kids followed when passing him was to ask, “Who is the devil, Redbird?” He would always reply, “Gary S. is the devil.” Then, the kids would run away back-slapping each other with approval and roaring with laughter. Gary S. was my uncle, and his stunts, like riding a horse into the police station and shooting the ceiling, had made him a local legend. Most people in town thought Redbird’s transformation

The Paper

Redbird Burning Cont. from Page 1

was the result of his father locking him in a closet, after Redbird had dropped acid and snuck off to an Ozzy Osborne concert. This was not the heart of his trouble. It was the consequence of something far worse and I saw it happen.

My cousin Little Gary was also my best friend. We spent our days playing Batman and Robin and our evenings watching Happy Days. Up until our fifth grade school year, we insisted our friends call him Fonzie and me Spike. During the summer of 1980, at fifteen years old, he was killed in a car wreck. Uncle Gary, also known as Big Gary, was his father. Knowing how close Little Gary and I had been, Big Gary would come to grieve with me. He said he could feel his son in my presence. I didn’t know a lot about Uncle Gary except that everyone liked him, and he was as cool as a fan. He had a 57 Chevy and wore a leather jacket, and when he came to pick up Little Gary and me, he would burn rubber down the back roads and do donuts in the high school parking lot while we laughed in the backseat. It was early December; I was fourteen-years-old, and Uncle Gary came by to take me out to dinner. Although it was a school night, he charmed my mother into letting me stay out until eleven. After we had eaten, he excused himself, and with

Give Us This Day Our Daily Chuckle This week, a compendium of wit, wisdom and neat stuff you can tell at parties. Enjoy!

Remembering Henny Youngman:

* I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. * I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years! If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!

* What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she's making love? "Honey, I'm home!" * Someone stole all my credit cards but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.

* We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. * My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding

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his motorcycle boots tapping time, he walked to the pay phone and made a call. When he returned, his face had gone from sad and sweet to something I had never seen before, raw rage. He said, “Get your coat. We are going to the house.” I did as he asked. Snow began falling as we drove down the narrows, the same road that had claimed Little Gary that summer. By the time we pulled into his driveway, the yard was wearing a blanket. I had only been to his house twice before when I was in the third grade, and it seemed mysterious to me. I remembered it as a place filled with trees for climbing, grape vines for swinging, and a car carcass that Little Gary made into a clubhouse. Isolated, it sat on 17 acres, but I felt deflated seeing it again; it looked like an ordinary ranch house and was so much smaller than my memory. Uncle Gary was banging the front door open before I managed to get out of the car. When I walked in, my eyes crossed at the chaos; it looked like every teenager in town’s mother had cleaned their room then dumped the mess in Uncle Gary’s house. As I walked into the kitchen, I heard cereal crunching under my feet. A carnival of food was dumped out of boxes and jars onto the counters. Every drawer had been pulled out of its housing and lay on the floor like empty coffins. I turned and saw my brother’s friend, John, come in

night; only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried. * My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea .

* She was at the beauty shop for two hours.That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.Then the mud fell off.

* The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill so the doctor gave him another six months. * The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. " Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!" * Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!" Patient: "I am 60!" Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?"

* Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears." Doctor: "Don't answer!" * A drunk was in front of a judge.The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."

* Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it. The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women

from the back of the house. Gary yelled, “You find it?”

Without making eye contact, John mumbled, “Man after the TBI trashed this place, it’s hopeless.”

Gary walked over and grabbed him around the neck, then pushed him against the wall and said, “Dumbass, if the dope had been here before the law came, we would be in jail. I just brought the load in from Florida this morning, and it was in that cooler.” He pointed his finger like an exclamation point at an empty Igloo lying on its side. He took a deep breath, stroked his beard, and in a voice so calm it was eerier than a scream, said: “Where is Redbird?” John threw a thumb over his shoulder and said, “He’s still sleeping it off.” Gary said, “Get him.”

As John headed to the back bedroom, I asked, “What is going on?”

He replied without looking at me, “You best mind your own, child.” Then, he afforded me a hard, long look and said, “This is family business, and it stays in the family. Got it?” I simultaneously nodded, shrugged and froze, with the very adult realization that life can suddenly change. The truth, so abrupt and large, was going down like spoiled molasses. John burst out of the backroom, with his hand like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now. There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school.

Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink? A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering. Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers? A: They never let anyone finish a sentence!

A man called his mother in Florida , "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak." The son said, "Why are you so weak?" She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days." The son said, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?" The mother answered, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call." A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play.

She asks, "What part is it?" The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband."

clamped on Redbird’s forearm, and yanked him towards Gary.

Gary handed Redbird a cigarette and said, “You get your beauty rest princess?” Still blinded by sleep and oblivious to the danger, Redbird put the cigarette between his lips and said, “Got a light?”

There was a lot more talking, but I had gone deaf with terror. I don’t remember all the words, but I heard “dope” and “kill”, and as their tones escalated, I retreated further. What was happening was unlike any argument I had witnessed. It was dangerous. With only the survival instincts of a fourteen-yearold, I turned towards the sink and began washing dishes. As I rinsed, I would glance towards the front door watching their migration towards it. I was grateful for the familiar sound of the faucet and the comfort of warm water. My hands were shaking so badly that I broke a glass; I looked down to see a small cut on my finger. When I looked up, this memory still comes to me in snapshots, I see Gary holding Redbird by the throat. John walking out the door. John walking in with a gas can. John holding Redbird. Gary pouring gas. Redbird looking like a child. Gary by the fireplace. Gary in front of

Redbird Burning Cont. on Page 3

The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part." Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb? A: (Sigh) "Don't bother. I'll sit in the dark. I don't want to be a nuisance to anybody."

Short summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us. We won. Let's eat. Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said, "Lady, I haven't eaten in three days." "Force yourself," she replied.

Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother? A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go. Q: Why are Jewish men circumcised? A: Because Jewish women don't like anything that isn't 20% off. The Norwegian Rancher

Minnesota rancher named Olie had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company. In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot attorney questioned him thus:

Chuckles Cont. on Page 6

Social Butterfly

The Paper • Page 3 • March 04, 2021


www.escondidoartassociation.com for complete information and to download printed materials. The new phone number for the Artists Gallery is (442) 317-0980 and new email address is eaa21grand@gmail.com.

Evelyn Madison The Social Butterfly Email Evelyn at:


Deadline Nears for EAA 2021 Art Scholarship Show - All entries for the Escondido Art Association's Scholarship Program for graduating Escondido High School seniors must be submitted to the Artists Gallery at 121 W. Grand Avenue in Escondido, by Saturday, March 6, 11:00am – 4:00pm or Monday, March 8, 4:00pm – 6:00pm.

Prize money will be awarded in the following categories: $500 for First Place; $250 for Second Place; $150 for Third Place, and two $50 Honorable Mention awards. Students are judged on their submissions of three pieces of artwork, an essay about their interest in art, and a letter of recommendation from their guidance counselor or art teacher. All Escondido high school seniors are invited to participat and can visit the EAA website

Redbird Burning Cont. from Page 2

Redbird, match in hand. The spell is broken and everything goes double time, my hearing comes back with force and the match scratches as Gary strikes it on the brick fireplace, then he smiles and says, “About that light.” and throws the match on Redbird’s flannel shirt. As he erupts into flames, Gary spins him and shoves him outside.

I dropped the plate I had in my uncut hand, ran to the door and looked out. Redbird was in the yard, standing with arms aflame, reaching towards the heavens. There was a surreal sickening beauty of fire against the dark winter sky. It was hard to comprehend its source. I thought, “My God he looks like a phoenix.” As I was about to yell the fire safety instructions I had learned in school, he dropped onto the snow and began to smother the flames.

I turned to look for the monster, who just an hour before had been my uncle, and could not see him or John, but I heard them in the back of the house. I looked and saw they were in Little Gary’s bedroom which had remained unchanged since the accident. I turned and told Redbird, “I’ll get you help, but you need to hide. What if he’s not done?”

He said, “It’s not that bad.” Fueled by an adrenaline surge, he jumped

The gallery will adhere to strict enforcement of COVID 19 protocols to ensure a safe environment for drop-off, exhibition and viewing of artwork and, therefore, arrangements for a March 13 outdoor reception will be finalized at a later date based on safety protocols in place at that time.

Alliance for Regional Solutions, Give Kids a Smile - Give Kids A Smile provides free dental screenings, sealants, and fluoride varnish at over 30 dental offices throughout San Diego County for any children 18 and under from February 22 March 19. No proof of insurance is required. It is a free event. Appointments are required and will fill up fast, so please schedule as soon as possible. For a list of participating dental offices and the Give Kids A Smile event dates for each office can be found at the Alliance for Regional Solutions, 550 W Washington Ave, Escondido, CA 92025, or contact contact Marylynn McCorkle at mmccorkle@regionalsolutions.net.

COGG Announces March Meeting - The next meeting of Conservative Order for Good Government (COGG) will be on Tuesday, March 9th, via Zoom, up and ran.

I walked into the back bedroom, hoping to buy him some time to get to the road. As I stood framed by the doorway, they looked ridiculous and small in their panicked search. Little Gary’s posters still covered the walls and Batman seemed to watch them with disdain as they slung clothes and drawers. A jewelry box crashed near my head, and I didn’t flinch. John pulled the mattress off of the bed and put it on its side, and this caused the box springs to come off track. I could see within the triangle of the frame a large zip lock baggie lying on the floor. I had seen enough Miami Vice to know it was drugs. I let them continue their two-man demolition until I thought Redbird had made it off the property. Then, and I have no idea where the courage to say this came from, I calmly said, “It is under the bed, Sherlocks. I’m ready to go home. It’s after eleven.” As they retrieved the cocaine, they began laughing about Gary’s mistake; he had put the drugs there when he had got in from Florida and then went to sleep. Apparently, he had been sampling his supply because their where-abouts had slipped his mind, and neither he nor John had enough sense to look under the bed for them. At fourteen, I knew where monsters hide is the first place to look for anything. As we walked out of the house, they began praising me. They were nearly singing “She is cool as a cucum-

from 1:00pm to 2:30pm. The speaker will be Sandy Lehmkuhler, Founder of Warrior FoundationFreedom Station (WFFS). She will address the organization's work in assisting and supporting our wounded servicemen and women in the greater San Diego area. As an added bonus, Joe Leventhal, a COGG member, will discuss his experiences running for the City Council last year.

For this meeting, registration is by E-mail address. Contact blawson@san.rr.com. It is not necessary to register partners at the same Email address. If a guest would like to attend, they should contact blawson@san.rr.com or call 858.217.6996. We look forward to 'seeing' you at the meeting. If you register, you will receive Zoom instructions on either March 7 or 8. About the program, WFFS is a nonprofit 501(c)3 organization, established in 2004, that is a leading force in assisting, honoring, and supporting the military men and women who have bravely served and sacrificed for our country. While volunteering at Naval Medical Center San Diego in 2004, Sandy was distraught to learn that the hospital's injured were lacking some basic quality-of-life items. Spurred by a conversation with two amputees who asked for special electric razors for Christmas, she went on the radio to make a plea for donations and Warrior FoundationFreedom Station was born. WFFS focuses on key areas of quaity-of-

ber.” “You can’t rattle her.” “She’ll take over the family business.”

Insulted and un-flattered, I said, “Mom will get mad if I don’t get home soon.”

Funny thing was, Gary looked scared by that idea. He dug in his pockets, handed John the keys, and told him to take me home. He hugged me through the open car door. I did not reciprocate. He nervously said, “Wait.” Then he ran into the house. When he came back outside, he handed John a bag of marijuana and said, “Tell Redbird it was business.” Then, he came around to my window and handed me a hundred-dollar bill. Incensed, I said, that I could use a cigarette. Gary handed me one. I asked for a light. I wish I could say I set the money on fire but, I didn’t. I just wadded up the grimy bill and stuck it, shamefaced, in my pocket. Then, I smoked my first cigarette.

I didn’t tell my Mom about that night until many years later and Redbird, who had survived, wore his newfound scars in silence. I heard he told people at the hospital he was siphoning gas from a car and had the bad judgment to light a cigarette. I guess they bought it. I went into Gary’s house that night, a child and came out cynical, and Redbird, who was ten years, my senior, went in an adult and came out a child. The last time I saw Redbird I was thirty and in town visiting my

life items, support services, and transitional housing. In 2011, the foundation proudly opened Freedom Station, a first-of-its-kind transitional housing residence and recovery support center for warriors who are being medically retired from the military. The non-profit has assisted service members at Camp Pendleton, Naval Medical Center and Naval Base in San Diego, Twentynine Palms, Marine Corps Base Hawaii, and more. Sandy's work and dedication have been recognized by numerous organizations. She was the 2014 recipient of the prestigious Spirit of Hope Award, awarded by the Department of Defense, for her service to Navy families. Sandy has also received the American Red Cross "Real Heroes" Award for making a lasting and positive impact in the lives of military members in our community; and many others. She is married to CWO4 Brian Lehmkuhler, U.S. Navy (ret.) and is extremely proud of both of her daughters, who have both served the nation in the U.S. government and the military. The Lehmkuhlers reside in San Diego. Escondido Art Association April Open Show, Call for Artists - The Escondido Art Association (EAA) announces their Open Show for the month of April at the Artists Gallery, 121 W. Grand Avenue, Escondido. The theme of the show,

Social Butterfly Cont. on Page 8

mother. I took a walk to reminisce, and he was sitting on the wall in front of the First Baptist Church. His flannel shirt and high-water chinos combined with his wily red hair made him appear ageless. I stopped to make small talk, out of guilt more than humanity, and as I turned to walk away he said, “You were just a kid. There was nothing you could do.” I began to cry. He continued on as though he had been waiting awhile to speak to me, “You know, I think the only thing that kept me from dying outright of fear, was seeing you in the kitchen washing dishes. You looked so little and helpless. I thought how sad it was you had ended up there. You had no idea that something like that could happen. I ran with Gary and knew how dangerous he was. Not that I deserved it, but I wasn’t surprised, not the way you looked surprised. Anyway, I guess we both danced with the devil and survived.” I hugged him, probably the first person to do so in a long while, and said, “I don’t know why I started washing dishes. I wish I could have stopped Gary.”

He sagely said, “If you had done anything else, we could have both been burning in the front yard. You just wanted to make Gary less mad. That’s all. I honestly think that it

Redbird Burning Cont’d on Page 5

Local News

The Paper Escondido Police Officer Shot

On February 22, 2021 at approximately 2:47 a.m., The Escondido police department was called to the 1300 block of Morning View Drive in response to a report of a domestic violence disturbance. Officers learned that the male involved in the disturbance left his residence with a high-powered rifle.

At approximately 3:03 a.m. an Escondido Police Department officer contacted the driver in the area of the Reidy Creek south of Lincoln Ave. At that time, a shooting occurred, and an Escondido Police Department officer was shot. The officer is in stable condition. A county-wide call for mutual aid was broadcasted over the police radio. Multiple officers from agencies around the county responded to assist with the search for the suspect.

The suspect was Anastasia Rosas Jr., a 27 y/o Hispanic male, 5'07", 125 lbs., black hair, brown eyes, last seen wearing a black long sleeve

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shirt and shorts. He was last seen in the area of Morning View Drive and Lincoln Ave.

On February 22, 2021 at approximately 7:45 a.m., The Escondido Police Department and allied agencies received information that the suspect was seen in a vacant apartment in the 700 block of West Lincoln.

Tactical units quickly responded to the area. While they were responding, the sound of a gunshot was heard from within the apartment. Tactical teams surrounded the apartment, and subsequent search of the apartment resulted in the location of a male believed to be Anastasio Rosas Jr. who appears to have died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Investigators believe that Rosas was the only suspect being sought, and there is no further danger to the public. This is an ongoing investigation, and Escondido Police Department will be conducting a thorough investigation into the incident. Anyone with information pertaining to this incident is encouraged to contact the Escondido Police Department. Oceanside Council Backs Down on Plan to Close Brooks Street Swim Center

By a 4-1 vote the Oceanside City Council killed the proposal to save money by closing a 60-year old pool in a low-income neighborThe to a lovely little cottage with a picket fence.

I told Katrina I was going out for some fresh air, thought I'd go up and visit my old stomping grounds, Dixon Lake, where I had owned the concession for boat rentals and fishing permits for some 27 years. She said she'd catch any phone calls and evelyn was to call her if she needed anything.

Man About Town

didn't start out as a particularly scary evening . . . far from it. Rather routine, in fact.

Evelyn was sleeping, still trying to recover from that bout of the flu that had laid her low for the better part of six days in a row. She was starting to return to normal but still required more than the usual amount of sleep. Her strength had been sapped and now she was trying to regain it. I had hired a beautiful young gal named Katrina to help take the load off of Evelyn. Katrina knew how to keep books, was familiar with Quicken, Excel, all the stuff accounting types need to keep the dollars and cents in line. She was bilingual, speaking English, Spanish, Farsi (Persian) and Arabic. Single and attractive, I didn't know how long she'd be with us before some gallant young lad would come and sweep her off her feet and dash off

So, off I went to Dixon Lake. The sun had already set but I had brought along a flashlight and, together with the night time lighting in the picnic area where the ranger offices are located, I managed to retrace some of the paths I had often trod during those 27 years that I owned "Lyle's at Dixon Lake." Lots of great memories. Then the reverie was broken as my cellphone buzzed. I checked it and saw in incoming text message.

"You are in danger! Someone is tracking you and intends to kill you! He is upset because you've been arguing against gun control and supporting the 2nd Amendment. He heard about your presentation to the Escondido Fish and Game Association and he is livid! He wants to make you an example! This guy is dangerous! Keep your eyes and ears open!" Well! Had I been a young 25-35 year old guy, I would have been alarmed at this message. But I'm considerably past the 25-35 year old

March 04, 2021

Oceanside City Council had faced widespread criticism and accusations of institutional racism for the idea.

City staffers have said repeatedly there is money in the budget to operate both of the city’s two existing pools at Brooks Street and Marshall Street, and to open the new facilities at El Corazon.

“Closing this facility would be disastrous to the community and our children,” said Diane Bedrosian, a physician at Tri-City Medical Center. “Studies show swim lessons reduce the risk of drowning by 88 percent ... and the Brooks Street pool provides an accessible and safe place where these skills can be learned.” Escondido DUI Checkpoint Results

While conducting a DUI checkpoint on Friday, February 26th, 2021, Escondido Police arrested one subject for operating a vehicle while under the influence of drugs.

The checkpoint was held at 2nd Avenue and Broadway from 6:00PM until Midnight. In addition, 23 drivers were cited for operating a vehicle unlicensed or with a suspended/revoked license, and three drivers were cited for not having insurance.

category. Another twenty years and I will qualify as an 'elderly gent.' Not quite as swift of foot, or mind, nor am I quite as strong as I used to be. How to deal with this? I've never been stalked or hunted before. You can bet your last nickle that I was alarmed. I headed toward the ranger station but though the lights were on, there was no one inside. I figured they were on their nightly rounds, checking the campgrounds and such. I was alone. In a darkened park. No protection. (And, no gun). No means of protecting myself.

Suddenly, headlights! Maybe that was the ranger truck! No, it wasn't. It was a sedan of some type. One man got out and he was carrying what looked like a Kalishnokov. A high powered assault weapon. Great! And I didn't have so much as a pistol to defend myself with. "I know you're here, Davis. Come out, come out, wherever you are! I wanna have a little talk with you!" I ducked down behind some bushes and dialed 911.

"Your call is very important to us. Please remain on the line as we attend to other callers. You will be in a queue and we will answer your call in the order received. Your call is very important to us . . .

Letters to the Editor A Former Subscriber

In the 25 February 2021, Daily Chuckles, I was greatly dismayed, hurt and offended by the jokes about a Polish girl. These types of jokes are definitely hurtful and no longer acceptable. What kind of response would you receive from the public if these were told about a BLACK girl? If this type of hurtful publication continues I will cancel my subscription. Sincerely, Mr. Joseph Babiarz

Editor’s Note: I have been publishing The Paper for over 22 years and in that time I have received, perhaps, 10-12 complaints about our Chuckles column. This sug-

Letters to the Editor Cont. on Page 10

yadda yadda yadda . . ."

The hunter now shouldered his weapon and pulled out a huge sword or knife. What in the hell is going on?! I became aware of some rustling to the right of me and suddenly, there was Katrina!

"Katrina! What in the hell are you doing here?! We're in danger! Get down!"

"I thought I could help. I heard you were in trouble."

"You should have stayed away; now it's gonna be twice as hard to avoid this guy. Here, give me your hand. We'll move over behind the ranger offices. There's better concealment there . . . maybe a park ranger will show up."

I took her hand and began to lead her in the direction of the building when I both felt and heard a click; I whirled around and looked and there on my hand was a handcuff, the other cuff being held by Katrina. I looked at the handcuff and looked at Katrina who was now wearing a smile that looked remarkably like a smirk. "We have been looking for you for some time, my colleagues and I."

Man About Town Cont. on Page 10

The Paper

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Redbird Burning Cont. from Page 3

kept them from getting any crazier than they were. It is hard for crazy and normal to be in the same place, trust me I know.” I tried to interrupt and he held up a hand covered with burn scars and said, “There are different kinds of courage and courage and stupidity can look an awful lot alike. Sometimes courage is just doing the best with a bad situation. It wasn’t your mess honey, but you tried to clean it.” That was the last time I saw him.

We all had our crosses to bear from that night; Gary lost everything when he was sent to the pen for selling drugs. John was hurt in a car wreck and sentenced to a life with chronic pain. My cross was living as though everyone and everything I loved could be burnt without warning. I was always cautiously peeking around corners and sizing people up, especially my family.

Redbird shed his cross as he held his burning arms to the sky. I honestly think he came out of that night more whole than any of us. I had been wrong about him; I was the one with a desperate need. He washed my hands of that dirty hundred-dollar bill. Since that day on the wall, I don’t think about the fire. I sift through the ashes. Big Gary lost his son and took it out on the world. Was he the Devil? For years I, like Redbird, thought so, but fire has no conscience; it just burns until it doesn’t.

About the Author: Starla Sloan is a 54 year old non-fiction writer from Appalachia. Raised on the TennesseeKentucky border. She watched the coal mines bring prosperity to her hometown. Her family owned a bar and grill which was popular with the miners. It was a rowdy place, and there were 5 bullet holes in the cigarette machine and one in the jukebox. When the minerals were gone, the companies moved to other small towns to strip their mountains. The miners were left with black lungs, broken backs and empty pockets. So, her family became involved with the Dixie Mafia moving cocaine from Columbia to Jellico, her hometown. The New York mafia would drive down and the exchange transpired in her family's bar. Most of her stories are about the trauma she suffered as a result of the new family business.

Starla Sloan (Photo by Christy Brown)

He looked at my Speed Graphic and said, with a New England chuckle, “That's a pretty big camera to use on a politician.” But he smiled and turned slightly away from the camera, obviously aware that if he looked directly at me, he'd take a 250-watt direct hit from the flash.

The Day My Camera Attacked JFK By Sam Lowe

During his short lifetime, John F. Kennedy faced many photographers burdened with Speed Graphic cameras. But until he encountered mine, he had never been attacked by one.

As sports editor of The Jamestown Sun (a small daily newspaper in North Dakota that gave me my first writing job) I had very little interest in politics. My reporting duties centered around 78-yard touchdown runs, last-second baskets, gargantuan home runs and how to sneak a flask of peppermint schnapps past the stadium guards. In addition to describing such feats in prose, I was also the staff photographer, assigned to capture everyone and everything from politicians to prize heifers to blizzards and beauty queens on film. With a Speed Graphic camera.

Under those circumstances, John F. Kennedy and I had a rather ignominious encounter in 1960.

Kennedy was campaigning to become the Democratic candidate for president and apparently thought North Dakota's votes were crucial to the effort. So crucial, in fact, that he showed up in February, more than four months before the annual Stutsman County Fair, the normal forum for public office seekers.

And the Speed Graphic and I were assigned to document the event.

Speed Graphics were wonderful cameras, but they were cumbersome and required large amounts of preparation. The film was not in rolls, but in 4-by-5-inch sheets that had to be loaded into individual holders. Each holder held only two sheets of film, so every photo assignment required a predetermined number of holders, depending upon the importance of the subject matter. The mayor and the winner of the Kiwanis scholarship were worth one holder. So were prize-winning cattle at the county fair; Miss Jamestown and the North Dakota Dairy Princess got two.

The camera also required flash bulbs. They were about the size of a 25-watt light bulb or a mediumsized onion and were mounted into a flash gun attached to the side of the camera prior to taking a photo. We always stuffed at least a dozen bulbs

into the camera case, which resembled a small steamer trunk or a plumber's tool kit. By the time the film was loaded, the camera inserted, the flash gun and bulbs sequestered, and all the other vitals stuffed into the case, the weight exceeded 25 pounds. Veteran photographers of those days were particularly susceptible to hernia. Then, once the subject had been located and ordered to hold that smile, the camera required a series of complicated maneuvers:

Unsnap case. Remove camera. Attach flash gun. Open front of camera. Pull bellows out. Lock it onto track. Remove lens cap. Insert film holder into back of camera. Remove slide from holder so film could be exposed. Screw flash bulb in. Cock shutter. Aim. Focus. Push the button. Missing just one step meant no photo, or at least a retake. Decidedly more aware of all the requirements due to the importance of the situation, my Speed Graphic and I set out to take a picture of John F. Kennedy. I arrived early to secure a good spot and waited. Soon, a mini-parade led by the mayor, two councilmen, Miss Jamestown and four Democratic candidates for the state legislature marched Kennedy up to the second floor of the Elks Club, now brightly festooned with red, white and blue banners and card tables loaded down with neatly sliced carrots, peeled radishes, coffee urns and deviled eggs. One by one, the mayor, councilmen, office-seekers and Miss Jamestown delivered well-prepared orations of welcome. Kennedy gracefully acknowledged the honors they accorded him with smiles and nods, then rose to give his address, while I nervously began the litany of camera preparation.

Kennedy was New England gracious and boyishly charming but nobody actually paid much attention to his speech because it was his presence that mattered, not what he said. Besides, he pretty well had the nomination locked up so his words drifted off into the vast nothingness where political speeches go to die. I waited patiently until the talking was over, then approached Kennedy and asked if he'd pose for a photo.

With slightly trembling hands, I aimed, focused and pushed the button to ignite the bulb.

For a split second, nothing happened. Kennedy was posing, I was aiming but there was no sudden burst of light.

Then, in the next split second, everything happened.

Instead of lighting up the room the way it was supposed to, the bulb just went “pop,” then ejected itself from the flash gun, making a kind of “feeezle feeezle feeezle” noise while heading toward the man who wanted to be president. In the next split second, I was surrounded by two big guys wearing dark suits. One of them yanked the Speed Graphic from my hands while a third big guy clad in similar attire jumped in front of Kennedy. Then when the errant missile plopped about four feet short of its apparent target, he ended its miserable existence with a well-placed stomp. It all happened so fast there wasn't even time for an image of life as a federal prisoner to formulate inside my befuddled brain. Fortunately for me and my Speed Graphic, and because fizzling flash bulbs don't achieve much distance, Kennedy did not appear the least bit upset. Instead, he reacted with a smile and said, “Did the Republicans send you?”

Once assured that his boss was safe, one of the big guys did a cursory examination of my Speed Graphic, then returned it to me and solemnly warned, “Don't do that any more.” Now shaken more than any other time in my life, I inserted another bulb while Kennedy took up a new pose. I pushed the button, the flash went off, Kennedy was safe and I wasn't about to ask him to hold still for another attempt. Then I rushed back to the office, went into the darkroom, placed the single sheet of film into the developing chemicals and prayed. For the entire five minutes required for processing that one negative, I was making promises that if the photo turned out all right, I'd quit swearing at the Speed Graphic and take better care of my flash bulbs. The pleas worked. The photo was a little grainy but it was good enough to run on the front page. Two days later, the editor received a letter from a Kennedy aide, thanking him for covering the appearance in a kindly manner. The editor showed the letter to me, but kept it for his own files. I voted for Kennedy the following November. It seemed the least I could do.

The Paper

Chuckles Cont. from Page 2

"Didn't you say to the state trooper at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?" Olie responded: "Vell, I'lla tell you vat happened dere. I'd yust loaded my fav'rit cow, Bessie, into da..."

"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"

Olie said, "Vell, I'd yust got Bessie into da trailer and I vas drivin' down da road..."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Your Honor, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question." By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Olie's answer and said to the attorney: "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow, Bessie."

Olie said: “Tank you," and proceeded. "Vell as I vas saying, I had yust loaded Bessie, my fav'rit cow, into de trailer and was drivin' her down de road vin dis huge Eversweet truck and trailer came tundering tru a stop sign and hit me trailer right in da side by golly. I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder ditch. "By yimminy yahosaphat, I vas hurt purty durn bad, and didn't want to move. An even vurse dan dat, I could hear old Bessie a moanin' and a groanin'. I knew she vas in terrible pain yust by her groans. "Shortly after da accident,a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie a moanin' and a groanin' too, so he vent over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her right between the eyes.

"Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, How are you feelin?'" "Now wot da heck vud you say? The Pulitzer Colonoscopy

ABOUT THE WRITER: Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald. Colonoscopy Journal:

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.

Page 6

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies. I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.

Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-litre plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a litre is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon. The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a spaceshuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another litre of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet. After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.

The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking,

. Chuckles Cont. on Page 7

March 04, 2021

COVID Relief for Californians

Last week I supported bi-partisan legislation signed by the Governor to mitigate the economic and social damage done by the long, stateimposed COVID shutdowns.

This legislative package, funded without new taxes from existing General Fund revenues, included a bill I co-authored to provide assistance for small businesses and nonprofits, many right here in our region. Thousands of businesses throughout California have seen their revenues plummet, with many forced into bankruptcy. $2.1 billion will be appropriated for the California Small Business COVID19 Relief Grant Program. Grants up to $25,000 will be available to support small businesses and nonprofits. Other legislation will waive license and renewal fees for two years for more than 600,000 barbering and cosmetology individuals and businesses, along with about 50,000 restaurants and bars that were forced to close. Similar to earlier federal COVIDrelief efforts, California will provide one-time direct relief payments of $600 to low income individuals. To prevent recipients of federal pandemic relief payments from being penalized for receiving the

assistance, state laws will conform to federal laws by exempting the federal relief payments from consideration under CalWORKs eligibility requirements. Working parents struggling to stay at work while caring for their children will see funding increased for emergency vouchers, stipends and other childcare costs through additional funding appropriated from the CARES Act. Still another bill will promote access to the state’s preschool program, encourage enrollment and retention of low-income community college students, and help college students maintain their food and nutrition benefits.

It is the responsibility of state government to step up and try to repair the damage done to the hard working men and women of California, who through no fault of their own, were forced from their businesses and their jobs. Last week we took a step in that direction. Assembly Republican Leader Marie Waldron, R-Escondido, represents the 75th Assembly District in the California Legislature, which includes the communities of Bonsall, Escondido, Fallbrook, Hidden Meadows, Pala, Palomar Mountain, Pauma Valley, Rainbow, San Marcos, Temecula, Valley Center and Vista.

5th District Supervisor

Jim Desmond

Fans in the Stands

Last week, I wrote a letter to our Governor asking him to allow fans into Petco Park for Opening Day. My argument for this is based on science and data. Numerous professional and collegiate sporting events have been taking place across our nation for many months. College football and the National Football League (NFL) both had successful seasons without any major COVID-19 incidents. The Superbowl was able to allow 22,000 fans into the stadium and cases continue to drop since the day of the game in Tampa Bay.

A recent study was published by medRxiv which looked at the impact of having fans in the stadiums for NFL and college football games. The purpose was to identify whether or not limited in-person attendance had an effect on COVID-19 cases. The study came to the following conclusion, “(We) did not find an increase in COVID19 cases per 100,000 residents in the counties where NFL and NCAA games were held with in-person attendance. Our study suggests that NFL and NCAA football games hosted with limited in-person attendance do not cause a significant increase in local COVID-19 cases.”

Allowing fans back into Petco Park isn’t just for entertainment purposes either. Thousands of part-time jobs have been put on hold, restaurants surrounding the stadium have been decimated and San Diegans have been stuck at home for over a year. With a 25% capacity, 10,611 San Diegans would be able to enjoy Opening Day on April 1, socially distanced and safely. Allowing a small percentage of San Diegans to attend Padres games would be a major step in getting back to normal.

To contact

North County Office – by appointment only 325 S. Melrose Ave., Suite 5200 Vista, CA 92081 Mon.-Fri., 8:00 a.m.-5:00 p.m. Website: www.supervisorjimdesmond.c om Email: Jim.Desmond@sdcounty.ca.g ov News for the Social Butterfly? Send your press releases to: thesocialbutterfly@cox.net

The Paper

Chuckles Cont. from Page 6

'What if I spurt on Andy?’ How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked. Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.

There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.

Page 7 • • March 04, 2021

over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ. On the subject of Colonoscopies...

Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous. A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies: 1. “Take it easy Doc. You’re boldly going where no man has gone before.” 2. 'FindAmeliaEarhart yet?'

3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

The Nearly Forgotten President

About the only place you’ll see our 20th president’s name these days is on a few elementary schools scattered around the nation. Other than that James Abram Garfield has been all but forgotten.

7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'

8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!' 9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'

10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.' 11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?' 12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay' And the best one of all:

13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

President James Garfield

Two historical facts to know about Garfield: He was shot by an assassin four months into his presidency and was the only sitting member of the House of Representatives to be elected to the White House.

If you’re keeping notes, Gerald Ford doesn’t count because he never was “elected” president. He was appointed vice president out of the House to fill the vacancy left by the death of Nelson Rockfeller, who had been appointed to fill the vacancy left by Spiro Agnew, who resigned over some questionable campaign financing. Ford ascended to the White House upon the resignation of Richard M. Nixon. Now, back to Garfield.

Chuckles Cont. on Page 8

Garfield's accomplishments included a resurgence of presidential authority in executive appointments; purging corruption in the U.S. Post Office and he enhanced the powers of the presidency when he defied the powerful U.S. Sen. Roscoe Conkling, R-New York, by an appointment to the lucrative post of Collector of the Port of New York. That started a fracas ending with Conkling's resignation from the Senate. \

Senator Conkling was leader of the so-called GOP “Stalwart” faction. He was the first GOP senator from New York to be elected three terms, and the last person to turn down a U.S. Supreme Court appointment after having been confirmed.

President Garfield was a visionary for his time as he advocated agricultural technology, an educated electorate, and civil rights for AfricanAmericans. He also proposed substantial civil service reforms known as the “Pendleton Civil Service Act, which was passed posthumously by Congress in 1883.

On July 2, 1881, Guiteau shot the president at the Washington, D.C. Baltimore and Potomac railroad station The wound was not immediately fatal, but he died from a series of infections caused by his doctors’ repeated attempts to remove the bullet. Guiteau was executed for Garfield's murder in June 1882. Song of the Desert

James was the 20th president serving from March to Sept. 19, 1881. He served only four months before being shot. He lingered agonizing and died two months later. The assassin, Charles J. Guiteau, was a disgruntledly job-seeker trying for a government position.

The late Murray Davison of Carlsbad recalled being a special services band member in North Africa during World War II performing for the U.S. Army Air Corps and the British 8th Army.

Garfield opposed the Confederate states’ secession; he served as a major general in the Union Army during the Civil War, and fought in the historic battles of Middle Creek, Shiloh, and Chickamauga. He was elected to Congress in 1862 to represent Ohio's 19th district.

"I was driving the lead vehicle down this lonely road in the middle of the desert when suddenly we came upon a heavily-armed unit of 300 Italian soldiers," Davison said with vivid recollection.

Garfield was born Nov. 19, 1831, into poverty in a log cabin and grew up in Northeast Ohio. He studied law and became an attorney before entering politics as a Republican in 1857.

I don't wanna say I'm getting old . . . But I have noticed lately that restaurants are asking me to pay up front.

He conducted a low-key “frontporch” campaign and narrowly won.

Senator Roscoe Conkling

6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it was all

by Tom Morrow

5 'You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married.'

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me...

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

Historically Speaking

Throughout Garfield's congressional service he initially agreed with the so-called “Radical” Republican views on Reconstruction, but later favored a moderate approach to civil rights enforcement for freed slaves. At the 1880 GOP National Convention, Garfield, who had not sought the White House, was a compromise nominee on the 36th ballot.

Murray’s band arguably won the first Allied victory against the "Desert Fox," Germany's Field Marshal Erwin Rommel’s Afrika Korps. In June 1943, Davison’s 17-member orchestra convoy was traveling across North Africa.

"We all thought we were dead -- we were scared to death, but then we spotted a white flag."

Murray said the Italians were all on foot, except for a small Fiat sports car that a couple of the officers were driving.

Tom Morrow Column Cont. on Page 8

The Paper

Chuckles Cont. from Page 7

Senior Campbells! Large type Alphabet Soup! •••• I was always taught to respect my elders. Now I don't have anyone left to respect. •••• It’s n longer “box wne.” Tody it is “cardboardeaux” •••• Warning - Lock Your Doors! Be sure you lock your doors and windows at home! A local man was found in his home over the weekend.

Detectives at the scene found the man face down in his bathtub. The tub had been filled with milk, sugar, and cornflakes. A banana was sticking out of his butt.

Police suspect a cereal killer. •••• A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other in an airplane.

After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, 'Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?' The rabbi responded, 'Yes, that is still one of our laws.'

The priest then asked, 'Have you ever eaten pork?'

Tom Morrow Cont. from Page 7

"They gave us the Fiat and an Italian major handed over his Beretta automatic pistol to me”, said Davison. Davison. "Those guys were starving. We fed them all our rations and then headed for the nearest British Army base."

When our boys in the band showed up at the front gate of the British Army installation with 300 enemy prisoners, the colonel in charge couldn't believe his eyes.

"The Italians had been deserted by the Germans. The ‘Eye-ties’ hated the Germans for having been treated with contempt by their supposed ally," Davison explained. "They told us they were more than delighted to be taken prisoner by the Americans and British."

Davison said he and the band got a unit citation for the "capture" of the 300 Italians. That evening the band played a concert with everyone attending. The band was written up in Yank magazine, as well as Stars & Stripes newspaper. And, to think, the enemy surrendered to Davison's band without first hearing them play.

Page 8 • • March 04, 2021

To which the rabbi replied, 'Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich.'


belongs in everyy moment

The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.

A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, 'Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?'

The priest replied, 'Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith.' The rabbi then asked him, 'Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?'

The priest replied, 'Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith.'

The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five minutes.

Finally, the rabbi said, 'Beats a ham sandwich, doesn't it?' ••••

Rady d Childr h ldren’ss Escond dido Outpa p tient Services

There was a sign on the cage that said $20.00. "Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner.

Fe ebruary 2021 021.

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot.

The owner looked at her and said,"Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."

Chuckles Cont. on Page 10

Social Butterfly Cont. from Page 3

"Keep It Small," will be open to EAA members and non-members alike, and entry fees will apply. All entries must be no larger than 12” x 12” in order to accommodate our double feature this month. Concurrently with "Keep It Small," the gallery will be showcasing their Kids Kaleidoscope Art Show comprised of artwork from students ages 5 through 18. Take-in of art will be on Saturday, April 3 from 11:00am–4:00pm, and on Monday, April 5 from 4:006:00pm. The gallery will adhere to strict enforcement of COVID-19 protocols to ensure a safe environment for drop-off, exhibition and viewing of artwork and, therefore, arrangements for an outdoor reception will be established at a later date. The show will run through Friday, April 30, and all artwork must be picked up by Saturday, May 1, from 11:00am–4:00pm.

are moving to a new location beginning

NEEW LOCATIONN: Rady Childrren’s Outpatient Services Palomar Health Outpaatient Center

2125 Citracado Pkwyy. | Esco ondido, CA 92029

Services Relocaating* *Re-open dates subject to change h

Developmental Services and Outpatient Psychia Psychiatry

Orrthopedics t and d Radiology

Office Closed: Fridayy, Feb. 5

Office ce Closed: Wed dnesday - Fridayy, Feb. 17-19

Office Opens at New Location: Outpatient PPsychia sychiatry – Mondayy, FFeb eb. 8 Physical Therapy and High-Risk Infant Follow Up Clinic – Tuesdayy, FFeb eb. 9

Office ce Opens at New Location: Monday ndayy, Feb. 22

Audiology – Wednesdayy, Feb. 10

Otolaryngology and Ophthalmology Office Closing at 12:00 p.m.: Fridayy, Feb. 12

Office Opens at New Location: Tuesdayy, Feb. 16

Spe ecialty Clinics and d Urgent Carre Office ce Closed: Fridayy, Feb. 26 Urrgent ent Car Carre also closed Feb Feb. 27 & 28

Office ce Opens at New Location: Monday ndayy, March 1

Questions about available le services? Call Rady Children’s customeer service team at 858-966-4096 96 Using the camera on your phone or an app, scan this QR code for our new address.

The EAA is an all-volunteer nonprofit 501(c)3 organization whose mission is to promote the arts in North County San Diego. New members are welcome and one can visit our website www.escondidoartassociation.com, email us at eaa121grand@gmail.com, or call our new gallery phone number, (442) 317-0980, for more info.

Social Butterfly Cont. on Page 9


The Paper • Page 9 • March 04, 2021

Social Butterfly Cont. from Page 8

Downtown Oceanside Makers Market - Shop local on Saturday, March 20th at the Downtown Oceanside Makers Market at Pier View Way and North Tremont Street and in Artist Alley Oceanside. From 10am-3pm, shop handcrafted and artisanal goods from area makers and Downtown Oceanside businesses outside in Downtown Lot 35, the location of the Sunset Market Main Stage, and Artist Alley while enjoying live music. Come Downtown to support local businesses and makers.

Operating under the County of San Diego Health guidelines, this free event will be no-touch, outdoors

to apply to participate is Monday, March 8.


Non-profit Partners/S.D. Business Leaders to Host Career Workshop - A Free Career Workshop for struggling San Diegans amid COVID-19 will be held on Thursday, March 4th. Those looking for jobs and careers with opportunities for growth and development are invited to attend. This first in a series of workshops created by Anvil of Hope is aimed at providing career opportunities to those in need. Panelists will provide job leads, resume tips and actionable insight on how to land a promising job during this economic crisis. Hosted by Anvil of Hope, the nonprofit brainchlld of AleSmith Brewing Company owners Peter and Vicky Zien, key panelists include representatives from the Padres, SDG&E, Manpower and DeVry.

AC Compan o pany omp om pa an ny You Yo ou C Can an T a Trrrust Trust usstt!

Register at Anvil of Hope: Virtual Career Workshop; to be held on Thursday, March 4th at 11am. To register or more information, visit anvilofhope.org.

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Social Butterfly Cont. on Page 11

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The Paper

Chuckles Cont. from Page 8

Man About Town Cont. from Page 4

"I have him! Come ahead!"

A rustling in the bushes and there he was. My hunter. A bearded, husky guy . . . with a sword about three feet in length . . . frightening just to look at. "We are about to make you famous, Davis. You will be known worldwide. My colleague in the car will be here in mere moments . . . with his camera. He will record this!"

With that he grabbed my hair, held my head tightly and brought his knife to my throat. "We will saw your head off. Slowly! He will videotape it and you will be on YouTube within the hour. Your body here . . . and your severed head dangling from my hand. That will teach the world that it is not wise to oppose the wise counsel of your President and argue against gun control. You see, Davis, if you have guns, we cannot conquer you. If you do not have guns . . . well . . . I think I make my point."

With that his colleague appeared, videocamera in hand . . . a toothy grin on his face. My Hunter drew back his knife and began to speak in Arabic . . . I noticed Katrina had a glazed, fascinated look in her eyes . . and just the touch of a contented smile. The knife approached my throat and began to saw . . . I knew that my screams would not be heard . . . and that, soon, only the gurgle of my hot blood, pouring out of my arteries would replace the screams. I've never been so frightened in my life. . . . . and then I woke up.

My body was sweating. wide awake.

I was

There was no Katrina. There was no hunter. There was no one videotaping me. It wasn't a dream. It was a friggin' nightmare! And all because of my strong belief in the 2nd Amendment. That we sure as hell have a right to bear arms . . . and not to just hunt animals . . . but to protect ourselves from tyrannical governments, both local, state and federal . . . and foreign. You know, the stuff of which dreams are made. For a great GIFT idea anytime of the year Give a gift subscription to The Paper!

Call 760.747.7119

Page 10 • • March 04, 2021

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room, and waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, newmadam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad." When her two teenage daughters returned from school,the bird saw them and said,"New house, new madam, new girls."

The girls and the woman were a bit offended, But then they began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised. Moments later, the woman's husband, Kevin, came home from work. The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Kevin."


A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard.

The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss."The 4 year old nods his head in approval.

The 6 year old continues,"When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass." The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios” WHACK!

He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up,and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit,slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!" She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!" Marital Bliss

On the first day, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things.

On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water. When he'd finished, he went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow center of the curtain rods.

Chuckles Cont. on Page 13

Letters to the Editor Cont. from Page 4

gests to me that we just might have a pretty good feel for the pulse of our readers and their sense of humor.

As I was telling my always drunk and dumb Norwegian uncle, Ole Tollefson, “Dose Welsh people were so ugly whenever ve Vikings vould raid their villages ve vould only pillage dem.” Uncle Ole, being both drunk and dumb, agreed with me. Some Norwebians are like that, you know.”

I appreciate you taking the time to write and share your views but I do not welcome nor tolerate threats and have no intention of changing our Chuckles format or content. You have the perfect remedy.

If you don’t like something you read . . . stop reading it.

I have taken the liberty of canceling your subscription. Thank you for your past support and I hope you find some other weekly publication you enjoy. I wish you well. lyle e davis, editor and publisher Meeting Famous People

Hi Lyle,

When I had my law office at 9171 Wilshire Blvd, Beverly Hills, Ca., I became very familiar with minor and major celebrities. My wife and I would go to these mansions, many times, did not stay long because shortly after arriving, if there were a party, the first item put in the middle of the table was a bowl of cocaine. We had absolutely no interest and left. One thing that struck me was how unhappy the celebrities were! Also I found some of them were deadbeats- 50 years ago (I had just started my practice) I was retained

Pet Parade

Peppermint (707121) is an adorable piggy who can be shy at first but warms up quickly. She may do best as the only pig in the home, but with time you will see what a sweet girl she can be. Pigs are very smart and clean creatures, so if you’re looking for a new farm friend, she’s just the gal for you! Make an appointment today to speak with an adoption counselor at our Escondido Campus at sdhumane.org/adopt! Peppermint is available for adoption at San Diego Humane Society’s Escondido Campus at 3500 Burnet Drive. To learn more about making her part of your family, please make an appointment online at sdhumane.org/adopt or call 619-2997012. Online profile: https://adopt.adopets.com/pet/622aaa 17-9a89-405f-bfc5-14c141073f80

by a Movie Producer in Hollywood to write a Movie Contract for him in 3 days- this being in the hoity toity part of LA I did not charge him up front. My work for him was spectacular and ONTIME. The %}#%% did not pay me.

Even though I graduated from Berkeley, neither my wife or I ever touched drugs, but in my law practice I have been with many otherwise wonderful people who did. Your article (by Sam Lowe) excellent.


/s/ Tony Abbott San Marcos, CA.

Classmate Search

Lyle: I see how The Paper is read all over our nation by the diversity of locations of writers to "The Editor".

I am one of the members of the EUHS class of 1959 reunion committee, and have had since 2004, a really difficult time locating some of our class members. We are aware that 93 of our classmates have passed away. But it might be more, since we cannot locate 41 others, who have possibly married and have new last name, or have just disappeared from the face of the earth. I am hoping that if you could post a list of our missing members, someone might be able to assist me in finding our lost sheep. Here is a list, alphabetically arranged our our missing classmates.

Sam Alred; Laverne Amos; Carol Avery; Gwen Clark; Gordon Cook; Leroy Dennis; David Duncan; Donna Ferguson; Karen Goode; David Greenlee; Robert Heath; Carole Hoesle; Richard Houck; Ann Hummel; Jeffrey King; Neal Lindley; Sharon Ledford; Sandra

Letters to the Editor Cont. on Page 13

Pet Parade

Miso is pet of the week at your Rancho Coastal Humane Society. She’s a 5 year old, 13 pound, female, Domestic Short Hair cat.

Miso was transferred to Rancho Coastal Humane Society from a rescue partner in Riverside County through the Friends of County Animal Shelters (FOCAS) program. She’s been living in the cattery at the shelter, but is now in foster care with a trained volunteer to prepare for her adoption. Miso is active with an outgoing purr-sonality. The $100 adoption fee for Miso includes medical exams, vaccinations, spay, and registered microchip. For information about Adoption by Appointment or to become a Virtual Foster log on to SDpets.org or call 760-753-6413.

The Paper

• Page 11 • March 04, 2021

A Weekly Message from the Mayor of Your Community published in the belief that it is important for elected leaders to communicate with their constituents and that constituents have a means of hearing from their elected leaders.

San Marcos • Mayor Rebecca Jones

Vista • Mayor Judy Ritter


We’ve got a new 3-acre park in town and the community is invited to help name it! The park is part of the City’s $104 million San Marcos Creek Project. It is adjacent to the San Marcos Creek and Discovery Street, between Bent Avenue and Via Vera Cruz.

The new park will feature a playground area, picnic tables and seating, shade structures and gathering spaces. It was designed for nearby residents and guests to walk or bike to, so they can utilize the surrounding 1.2-mile trail, enjoy a small playground and take in views of the Creek. Its location will provide a new level of access to the Creek and the surrounding preserved habitat. Interested in submitting a name? We’d love to hear your ideas! Go to https://bit.ly/3cPB3US and fill out our online form at the bottom of the page. We lovingly call our City ‘San Parkos’ because our community loves our parks! We welcome you to get involved.

Escondido • Mayor Paul “Mac” McNamara

Vista Begins Recycli ng Organic s

Recycling organics in Vista has never been easier.

Waste hauler EDCO has introduced an organic waste recycling program for residents. Organic food scraps, dairy, egg shells, and food-soiled paper, such as tea bags or napkins can now be mixed together with your yard waste and placed in your green carts on regularly scheduled pick up days. What’s more, is that EDCO is using a new state of the art process, called an Anerobic Digester, at its Escondido facility to break down the organic materials to produce biofuel for vehicles and fertilizer for farms. Recycling organics will help Vista and other local cities meet the State of California’s target of diverting 75% of organic waste from landfills by 2025. For more information, check edcodisposal.com.

The Pastor Says...

Greetings Escondido,

I am talking with more and more folks these days who are getting vaccinated for COVID 19. I wish I could say everything is going smoothly, but the truth of the matter is that there have been a few hiccups. A simple recent example is the transportation impact the recent East Coast and Midwest snow storms had on local delivery. Most of the issues that I’ve heard have been inconveniences like – I went for my scheduled shot but there was no vaccine. But I was rescheduled shortly. Or it took me several attempts but I finally got an appointment. So while it has not been perfect, it is working so I would encourage you to get your appointment as soon as you are eligible. And lastly, I’ll close with a big THANK YOU to all the volunteers who are making this work. I’m hoping we are finally turning a corner on this pandemic. Stay informed, Be Kind, Remember your neighbor, and Stay safe! Semper Fi, Mac

Social Butterfly Cont. from Page 9

Paul P. McNamara Mayor of Escondido pmcnamara@escondido.org

calendar that the Parkinson's Support Group meetings are held virtually on Zoom on the 1st Monday each month at 10:00am, for people with Parkinson's and their care partners. There is always a featured speaker. If you don't see the notice in the newspapers each month, contact Carol at hcmaher@cox.net for information and to get the Zoom invite information.

March Fun for Kids & Teens at Escondido Library - The Library has a large array of events for kids and teens during March. They cover programs for all ages, birth through teens. For example, "1000 Books Before Kindergarten" where parents read to children ages birth to 5 years, with the goal of completing 1000 book before kindergarten. More information at www.escondidolibrary.org/1000books. Some programs are for all ages and others are specified for ages appropriate.

Programs include: Dr. Seuss Day, Author Chat Series; Storytime for all ages; Crafts for Babies, Kids, Tweens; Kirds Team CA Design Session on Zoom; Teen Book Giveaway; and others. Visit the Library or call the Youth Services Desk, 760.839.5456, MondaySaturday 9am to 5pm. Or for registrations, visit www.escondidolibrary.org/kids.

R.A.T.E.D. G Book Club on Zoom, ages 9-12; Craft kid now included; visit the library or place book on hold at 760.839.5456. Read "Stargazing" by Jen Wang then join the Zoom chat. Contact kristine.mirate@escondidolibrary.o rg for Zoom meeting information. Crafting with Cathy, ages 13-18; call Youth Services Desk 760.839.5456, (Monday-Saturday 9am-5pm). this month's craft kit for teens is Vinyl Record Bookends.

Social Butterfly Cont. on Page 13

Pastor Hal Seed, New Song Community Church, Oceanside WHAT ABOUT HIM?

There is an interesting comment made by Jesus in the concluding days of His life, which I feel needs to be heard in our day. It is after Jesus has told his disciple, Peter, about the way Peter is going to die. It doesn’t seem that this was enough for Peter and, after looking around, he sees John, another Apostle, and asks Jesus, “What about him?” Jesus’ reply is, “If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? As for you, follow me.” Personally, I have always found this comment quite sharp, and yet, very appropriate for any age and person, especially today. In this day of political gamesmanship, people are asking, “What is

Pick up

going to happen now that the Democrats are in charge? What is going to happen to Trump? What is the future of the Republican Party? Will things go back to normal when this virus is over? Why did others get the stimulus money and not me? And so it goes. Some would label these questions just curiosity. And yet, a great amount of energy is used in wondering about the other person.

Jesus directs us to ourselves. What does all this curiosity really mean? When He says, “As for you, follow me,” what does he intend for us to do? His call is to be kind, helpful, giving, caring, compassionate, loving, forgiving, and praying. As He looked at His world, He saw nothing but need. In essence, He said follow me and do what I do.

Spending our time wondering about the other person, takes time away from the more important things. Following Jesus gives us meaningful activity. Pastor Huls

When in need for counsel, inspiration, and reflection call Dial-aPrayer 760 746 6611.

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The Paper

Paul & Nome Van Middlesworth, The Computer Factory

www. thecomputerfactory.net "San Diego's Best Computer Store 2015-2020" Union Tribune readers poll

“Ding Dong the Witch is Dead”

Last Wednesday, Feb 24, Fry’s Electronics announced the immediate closing of their twenty eight remaining electronics “superstores” including the stores in San Marcos and San Diego. The announcement came as little surprise to anyone who has recently visited one of their under-stocked and under-staffed locations. What is surprising is that they continued to operate for the past two years when it was obvious to even the casual observer that they were circling the drain. OBITUARY

Page 12 • March 04, 2021

Perhaps it is a bit unkind to use the “Witch is Dead” theme from “the Wizard of Oz” as the epitaph on Fry’s gravestone. Fry’s has been a good neighbor and excellent source of amusement and entertainment since they came to San Marcos 17 years ago. Fry’s massive inventory of computer components and liberal return policies allowed us to leave the low-margin, high-return business involved with selling components to the “do it yourself” computer hobbyists to Fry’s and concentrate on our what we do best, designing, building, upgrading and repairing personal computers. Like auto mechanics, we continue to sell parts but only as part of repair and upgrade work orders. On those occasions when a customer had a “rush” repair and needed a part that we did not have in stock, we could usually hop across the street to Fry’s and pick one up. We will miss that luxury. Fry’s “technicians” were a constant source of amusement. Never very competent or experienced, their main functions were to evaluate returned merchandise and merchandise sales support. It is common knowledge in the computer industry that at least 50% of “defective” components returned by customers are, in reality, perfectly good. Fry’s “technicians” apparently processed “defective” returns by simply marking the price down and putting them back on the sales shelf for the next customer to buy and test. At one point a few years back, Fry’s “technicians” decided to have some fun OBITUARY

Nancy Skuba

Denise Ballard

Denise Ballard crossed into Heaven on 2/13/2021, after a long battle with multiple medical issues.

She never knew a stranger in her life as she had a gift of making friends of all she met. Denise always put others first, whether it was friends and family, the elderly, or the various jobs she held. She enjoyed walks with her mother, watching movies with her son, going out for pizza with her sister, and spending time with her church family.

She is survived by her mother, Jeanette Pelletier, son, Steven Phebus, sister, Claudina Hildreth, brother, David Glenn, sister, Shana Pelletier, and a multitude of nieces and nephews. No services are planned at this time.

Beloved wife and mother Nancy Ruth Skuba, 81, of Palm Desert, CA, passed away peacefully on February 23, 2021. As an only child, Nancy was born to parents Bill and Lela Michl on July 14, 1939 in Huntington Park, CA.

She attended St. Matthias Catholic Elementary School and Huntington Park High School where she met her husband, Alan Skuba, during their freshman year. The couple married over 62 years ago in Salinas, CA on August 16, 1958.

In her youth, Nancy was appointed a representative to Girls' State Conference and awarded a Bank of America scholarship. In her sophomore year of high school she was stricken with tuberculosis and had to spend nine months in a TB sanatorium. She had most of one lung removed but was still able to graduate on time and with honors. The courtship with her future husband that had begun some two years ear-

with us. When a customer requested a component or process that didn’t exist, they would tell them “The Computer Factory” is the only place in town for that.” We finally sent a large pizza to the store manager with a note thanking their “technicians” for all the referrals and the faux referrals stopped coming.

Fry’s Electronics was a family owned business founded in 1985. By 2015 Fry’s had grown to 34 stores in 9 states with annual sales over $2 billion. Like many ‘family” businesses Fry’s lacked quality professional management from the top down. Throughout its history Fry’s Electronics was plagued by scandals, embezzlement, lawsuits and questionable ethical practices like their infamous “hoops and hurdles” refund policies. Fry’s had a very successful run through the era of high growth in

the personal computer industry. They out-competed other superstores like Tandy’s Incredible Universe, Comp USA and others. Back in the day, Fry’s was a true Mecca for computer hobbyists, and “shade tree” computer techs. As computer and related electronics became everyday commodities and lost their “geek” appeal, warehouse stores like Wal-Mart and Costco began to pick up more of the retail PC and peripheral sales. Fry’s claim that the killing blow came from the Covid 19 pandemic simply isn’t true. Amazon, Newegg, E-Bay and Internet shopping in general killed Fry’s. The convenience of shopping from your chair and having products delivered has changed the way consumers shop and Fry’s was one victim of that change. Too bad, we’ll miss having them around. Next week, Cactus Jack turns “Dimocrat”

845 W. San Marcos Blvd., San Marcos, CA.

lier was also never interrupted.

In addition to being a homemaker and raising four children, Nancy served as an integral part in helping her husband run his various businesses. Later in life, intrigued with clowning, she became a certified professional clown and performed at Nordstrom, children's parties and other events. Nancy also explored another avenue, medical transcription. While she ultimately never worked in the field, she completed courses in the early 1990s and received certification. Nancy learned piano as a young girl and played sporadically throughout most of her life. She was a lifelong avid reader and enjoyed a wide variety of books. Starting in the 1990s she developed an interest in the study and practice of meditation and read widely on that subject and others related to meditation practice. She also participated in numerous meditation retreats. Nancy and her husband spent the majority of their lives in Escondido, California, where they raised their family and owned a number of businesses. Nancy is survived by her loving and devoted husband, Alan Skuba, and four children: Brent Skuba of Long Beach, CA; Laura Skuba Cortez of Murrieta, CA; Heidi Skuba Maretz of San Diego, CA; and Stephen Skuba of Las Vegas, NV. Nancy has nine grandchildren and five greatgrandchildren.

In lieu of flowers, the family suggests contributions be made to Pine House for Handicapped Children, El Cajon, California. (http://www.guidinghands.org/hous es)

Subscribe to The Paper! Call 760.747.7119


Social Butterfly Cont. from Page 11 Grub Book Club on Zoom; ages 1318; Register: www.escondidolibrary/grubbookclub. Reading "We'll Never Be Apart" by Emiko Jean. Register to attend book club, then stop by the library to pick up a free copy of the book; read it then join the Zoom chat using the link provided. One attendee will win a $25 Food-related gift card. Did you miss one of the Amazing event or storytimes? Find us on YouTube to enjoy the recordings. @EscondidoLibrary.

Also coming up on March 13th from 3:00pm-4:30pm is the Free Second Saturday Virtual Concert, featuring "Dual Imaginalis", a project in which the two most popular Subscribe to The Paper!

Letters to the Editor Cont. from Page 10

Lore; Kathleen MacGowan; Bonnie Marble; Joseph Martin; Marilyn Martin; Dennis Marvin; James Mayfield; Dennis McGowan; Sharon McHearn; Terry Minjares; JoAnn Morris; Mike Peters; Nadiane Redmond; Larry Reeve; Lee Rogers; Sylvia Schraeder; Linda Scott; Marge Slaughter; David Spencer; Ed Torres; Carol Vinton; Shirley Waring; Robert White. Bernita Wolf. All of these named people would be 79-80 years old today, and we on the committee need any assistance in locating these missing class members. I have done multiple searches on the intenet to no avail. I can be reached at ormmac@aol.com. Sincerely,

Owen R. McCoy, Escondido, CA.

Call 760.747.7119

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Chuckles Cont. from Page 10

He then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

On the fourth day, the wife came back with her new boyfriend, and at first all was bliss.

Then, slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place.

Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked! People stopped coming over to visit.


Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.

Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house.

what the house had been worth ... but only if he would sign the papers that very day.

Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

A week later the woman and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home ......

Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. The Paper pretty much sells itself! You have fascinating cover stories, brilliantly illustrated. You have great columns with a broad spectrum of information from Paul Van Middlesworth of the Computer Factory, famed columnist, Tom Morrow, the latest in state-of-the-art dentistry from Dr. Gregory Hurt . . . Weekly Letters from the Mayors of Escondido San Marcos, Vista and Oceanside . . . weekly observations of local gossip by the area snoop, “The Man About Town,” . . . and, of course, The Social Butterfly.

Then the ex called the woman and asked how things were going. She told him the saga of the rotting house. He listened politely and said he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to reduce his divorce settlement in exchange for having the house. Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was, she agreed on a price only 1/10 nth of

He agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.

and to spite the ex-husband, they even took the curtain rods! I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU!

The Mighty Mojo Page The Paper • Page 14 • March 04, 2021

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PayPal says "case closed" on fraudulent transfers. Are these transactions not covered?

Why are there $900 in fraudulent charges on Saleh Tavassoli's PayPal account? And why won't PayPal help him remove them?

Q: I recently received seven fraudulent transactions on my PayPal account. I keep my account in euros, but these charges were in dollars. I've never sent anyone money in dollars. I don't recognize the recipients. I immediately reported the transactions to PayPal. But four hours later, I received an automatic reply saying that they checked the transactions and everything is in order. What should I do now? I've lost $900 and PayPal is not supporting me. Is there anything you can do to help me? -- Saleh Tavassoli, Berlin

A: I'm sorry about these charges. PayPal should have worked with you to find out who compromised your account and quickly issued a refund. Instead, it looks like you received an automated email that suggested no human eyes ever had a chance to review your complaint. That's disappointing. It's not just the swiftness of PayPal's verdict that's troubling. It's the certainty.

Don Darrock Berkshire Hathaway Homes CA. Properties

Pool Service


"Case Closed," it says. "Transaction not covered."

"After reviewing your case, we found that the reported transactions were not unauthorized and hence couldn't be covered under PayPal Purchase Protection. We've noted the account changes you reported with this case."

The follow-up emails are no more encouraging, and no less automated: "We've reviewed the transaction(s) and are denying your claim(s). This decision was made because this transaction was not unauthorized. We're sorry for any problems you may have experienced with the transaction(s)."

The PayPal Purchase Protection agreement -here's <a href="https://www.paypal.com/us/ webapps/mpp/paypal-safety-andsecurity">the U.S. version</a> -- is a vaguely worded promise to protect you from fraudulent purchases. It has enormous loopholes that allow PayPal to deny otherwise legitimate claims, which is exactly what happened to you.

You could have appealed this to someone higher up at PayPal. Contrary to what the company said, its decision isn't final. I list the names, numbers and email addresses of <a href="https://www.elliott.org/company-contacts/paypal/">all the PayPal executives</a> on my consumer advocacy site, Elliott.org.

How do bogus charges show up on your PayPal account? Your account was compromised, which means someone got their hands on your password. Obviously, you should never give your password to anyone. But you can also turn on something like <a href="https://www.paypal.com/us/s marthelp/article/how-do-i-enable2fa-(two-factor-authentication)-formy-paypal-powered-by-braintreeuser-faq3500">two-factor authentication</a>, which makes it much harder for a hacker to gain access to your account.

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I like the way you kept a careful paper trail. You need that kind of documentation to prove that these were not legitimate charges. But sometimes, even the best documentation isn't good enough. I contacted PayPal on your behalf. It reversed all the charges. Christopher Elliott is the chief advocacy officer for Elliott Advocacy. Email him at chris@elliott.org

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or get help with any consumer problem by contacting him at http://www.elliott.org/help © 2021 Christopher Elliott.

Letters to the Editor? We love ‘em! Our Readers do as well! Send them to: thepaper@coxnet

Only the Bold, the Best, and the Brightest, read The Paper

Editor’s Note: Recently, we received yet another note from a contented reader. He was in between trips but asked that we relay his thoughts and feelings to you, our reader.

He, too, has been a long time reader and claims the reason is because it makes him a more rounded person. He collects jokes from the Chuckles Column and is a hit at the parties he attends, usually after conquering a village or town . . . No wonder he is so bold!

First, I discovered America. Then, I discovered The Paper!

Ever since I can remember I’ve had the burning desire to discover new places, new adventures. Because of this, I set out to discover a new country . . . and I was successful. I even ventured inland a great many miles where I discovered a place I called Minnesota. “This,” I thought, “would be a great place for Scandinavians.” So I headed back to Norway to recruit settlers. While I was gone, some clown named Columbus claimed he discovered America. Life ain’t fair. Except life also gives us The Paper. I read it whenever and wherever I go exploring and only buy from those who

advertise in The Paper.It’s a Viking thing. yÜ|xÇw? XÜ|~ à{x exwA



The Paper • Page 15 • March 04, 2021

ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE FOR CHANGE OF NAME 37-2021-00006446-CU-PT-NC TO ALL INTERESTED PERSONS: Petitioner Kristin Lynn Moorhead filed a petition with this court for a decree changing names as follows: Present name: Kristin Lynn Moorhead to Proposed name Kristin Lynn Graham. THE COURT ORDERS that all persons interested in this matter shall appear before this court at the hearing indicated below to show cause, if any, why the petition for change of name should not be granted. Any person objecting to the name changes described above must file a written objections that includes the reasons for the objection at least two court days before the matter is scheduled to be heard and must appear at the hearing to show cause why the petition should not be granted. If no written objection is timely filed, the court may grant the petition without a hearing. NOTICE OF HEARING: Date: 4/6/21 8:30a.m., Department 25. The address of the court is: 325 S. Melrose, Vista, CA. 92081. A copy of the Order to Show Cause shall be published at least once each week for four successive weeks prior to the date set for hearing on the petition in the following newspaper of general circulation, printed in this county: San Marcos News Reporter, dba, The Paper, 845 W. San Marcos Blvd, San Marcos, Ca. 92078. Dated Feb. 16, 2021. NO HEARING WILL OCCUR ON ABOVE DATE: SEE ATTACHMENT /s/PAMELA M. PARKER, Judge of the Superior Court 2/25, 3/04, 3/11 & 3/18/21


Due to the COV ID-19 pandemic, which poses a substantial risk to the health and welfare of court personnel and the public, rendering presence in, or access to, the court’s facilities unsafe, and pusuant to the emergency orders of the Chief Justice of the State of California and General Orders of the Presiding Department of the San Diego Superior Court, the following Order is made: NO HEARING WILL OCCUR ON THE DATE SPECIFIED IN THE ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE. The court will review the documents filed as of the date specified on the Order to Show Cause for Change of Name (JC Form #NC-120).

If all requirements for a name change have been met as of the date specified, and no timely written objection has been received (required at least two court days before the date specified), the Petition for Change of Name (JC Form #NC-100) will be granted without a hearing. One certified copy of the Order Granting the Petition will be mailed to the petitioner.

If all the rquirements have not been met as of the date specified, the court will mail the petitioner a written order with further directions.

If a timely objection is filed, the court will set a remote hearing date and contact the parties by mail with further directions.

A RESPONDENT OBJECTING TO THE NAME CHANGE MUST FILE A WRITTEN OBJECTION AT LEAST TWO COURT DAYS (excluding weekends and holidays) BEFORE THE DATE SPECIFIED. Do not come to court on the specified date. The court will notify the parties by mail of a future remote hearing date. Any Petition for the name change of a minor that is signed by only one parent must have this attachment served along with the Petition and Order to Show Cause, on the other nonsigning parent, and proof of service must be filed with the court.

NOTICE OF PETITION TO ADMINISTER ESTATE OF THOMAS P. MILLER, JR. Case No. 37-2020-00036477 PRLA-CTL To all heirs, beneficiaries, creditors, contingent creditors, and persons who may otherwise be interested in the will or estate or both, of Thomas Phillip Miller Jr. A petition for probate has been filed by Tracey Perrault in the Superior Court of California, County of San Diego, 1100 Union St., San Diego, Ca., 92101, - Probate Division. The Petition for Probate requests that Tracey Perrault , be appointed as personal representative to administer the estate of the decedent. The petition requests the decedent’s will and codicils, if any, be admitted to probate. The will and any codicils are available for examinatin in the file kept by the court. The petition requests authority to administer the estate under the Independent Administration of Estates Act. (This authority will allow the personal representative to take many actions without obtaining court approval. Before taking certain very important actions, however, the personal representative will be required to give notice to interested persons unless they have waived notice or consented to the proposed actions.) The independent administration authority will be granted unless an interested person files an objection to the petition and shows good cause why the court should not grant the authority. A hearing on the petition will be held in this court as follows: Date: 03/24/2021 Time: 1:30 p.m. . Dept: 502 Address of court: Same as noted above. If you object to the granting of the petition, you should appear at the hearing and state your objections or file written objections with the court before the hearing. Your appearance may be in person or by your attorney. If you are a creditor or a contingent creditor of the decedent, you must file your claim with the court and mail a copy to the personal representative appointed by the court within the later of either (1) four months from the date of first issuance of letters to a general personal representative, as defined in Section 58(b) of the California Probate Code, or (2) 60 days from the date of mailing or personal delivery to you of a notice under section 9052 of the California Probate Code. Other California statues and legal authority may affect your rights as a creditor. You may want to consult with an attorney knowledgeable in California law. You may examine the file kept by the court. If you are a peson interested in the estate, you may file with the court a Request for Special Notice (form DE-154) of the filing of an inventory and appraisal of estate assets or of any petition or account as provided in Probate Code section 1250. A Request for Special Notice form is available from the court clerk. Petitioner: Tracey Perrault 6805 Adolphia Drive, Carlsbad, CA. 92011 Telephone: 619-920-1486 2/25, 3/04 & 3/11/2021

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9002721 The name of the business: SLS Automotive, located a 371 S. Rancho Santa Fe Rd., # (103), San Marcos, CA. 92078. Registrant Information: Shane Louis Sikes 1045 Silver Stallion Drive Vista, CA. 92081 This business is operated by an indiviudal. First day of business 2/01/2021 /s/ Shane Louis Sikes Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 2/18/2021 3/04, 3/11, 3/18 and 3/25/2021

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9002433 The name of the business: The Center Vietnamese Emmanuel Church, located at 1305 Deodar Rd., Escondido, CA. 92026. Registrant Information: San Diego Christian Center International Inc. 1305 Deodar Rd. Escondido, Ca. 92026 This business is conducted by a corporation. First day of business 1/26/2021 /s/ Michael Mieritz, President Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 2/10/2021 2/25, 3/04, 3/11 and 3/18/2021

ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE FOR CHANGE OF NAME 37-2020-00042402-CU-PT-NC TO ALL INTERESTED PERSONS: Petitioner Roby Lynn Warren filed a petition with this court for a decree changing names as follows: Present name: Roby Lynn Warren to Proposed name Roby Lynn Chevance. THE COURT ORDERS that all persons interested in this matter shall appear before this court at the hearing indicated below to show cause, if any, why the petition for change of name should not be granted. Any person objecting to the name changes described above must file a written objections that includes the reasons for the objection at least two court days before the matter is scheduled to be heard and must appear at the hearing to show cause why the petition should not be granted. If no written objection is timely filed, the court may grant the petition without a hearing. NOTICE OF HEARING: Date: 3/30/21 8:30a.m., Department 25. The address of the court is: 325 S. Melrose, Vista, CA. 92081. A copy of the Order to Show Cause shall be published at least once each week for four successive weeks prior to the date set for hearing on the petition in the following newspaper of general circulation, printed in this county: San Marcos News Reporter, dba, The Paper, 845 W. San Marcos Blvd, San Marcos, Ca. 92078. Dated Feb 23, 2021. NO HEARING WILL OCCUR ON ABOVE DATE: SEE ATTACHMENT /s/ Sim Van Kalinowski, Judge of the Superior Court 3/4, 3/11, 3/18 & 3/25/2021


Due to the COV ID-19 pandemic, which poses a substantial risk to the health and welfare of court personnel and the public, rendering presence in, or access to, the court’s facilities unsafe, and pusuant to the emergency orders of the Chief Justice of the State of California and General Orders of the Presiding Department of the San Diego Superior Court, the following Order is made:

NO HEARING WILL OCCUR ON THE DATE SPECIFIED IN THE ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE. The court will review the documents filed as of the date specified on the Order to Show Cause for Change of Name (JC Form #NC-120).

If all requirements for a name change have been met as of the date specified, and no timely written objection has been received (required at least two court days before the date specified), the Petition for Change of Name (JC Form #NC-100) will be granted without a hearing. One certified copy of the Order Granting the Petition will be mailed to the petitioner. If all the rquirements have not been met as of the date specified, the court will mail the petitioner a written order with further directions.

If a timely objection is filed, the court will set a remote hearing date and contact the parties by mail with further directions.

A RESPONDENT OBJECTING TO THE NAME CHANGE MUST FILE A WRITTEN OBJECTION AT LEAST TWO COURT DAYS (excluding weekends and holidays) BEFORE THE DATE SPECIFIED. Do not come to court on the specified date. The court will notify the parties by mail of a future remote hearing date. Any Petition for the name change of a minor that is signed by only one parent must have this attachment served along with the Petition and Order to Show Cause, on the other nonsigning parent, and proof of service must be filed with the court. 3/4, 3/11, 3/18 & 3/25/2021

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9002130 The name of the business: Tutu School Carlsbad, located at 6994 El Camino Real #107, Carlsbad, Ca. 92009. Registrant Information: Princess Ballet LLC 527 W. Arrow Hwy San Dimas, Ca. 91773 This business is conducted by a Limied Liability Company. First day of business 8/01/18 /s/ Charlene Rawson, President Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 2/05/2021 2/25, 3/04, 3/11 and 3/18/2021

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9002241 The name of the business: Random World Books, located at 464 Taylor Drive, Oceanside, CA. 92056. Registrant Information: Richard Dean Agler 464 Taylor Drive Oceanside, CA. 92056 This business is conducted by an individual. First day of business n/a. /s/ Richard Dean Agler. Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 2/08/2021 2/25, 3/04, 3/11 and 3/18/2021 FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9000837 The name of the business: Leinig, Incorporated, located at 770 N. Twin Oaks Valley Road, San Marcos, CA. 92069. Registrant Information: Leinig, Incorporated 770 N. Twin Oaks Valley Rd. San Marcos, CA. 92069 This business is conducted by a corporation. First day of business 1/01/1981. /s/ Walter Giniel, CEO Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 1/26/2021 2/25, 3/04, 3/11 and 3/18/2021 FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9002394 The name of the business: Butterfly Soul Co;, located a 100 Main St., Sapt 225, Vista, CA. 92084. Registrant Information: Essence Alexis Seufert 100 Main St., Apt 225 Vista, Ca. 92084. This business is conducted by an individual. First day of business 1/21/2021. /s/ Essence Alexis Seufert Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 2/10/2021 2/18, 2/25, 3/04 and 3/11/2021 FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9002490

The name of the business: Smash

My Trash Southwest California, located at 11142 Morning Creek Dr., S., San Diego, CA. 92128. Registrant Information:

J&M Chase Corporation

11142 Morning Creek Dr S San Diego, CA. 92128

This business is conducted by a corporation.

First day of business n/a.

Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg

Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 2/10/2021

2/18, 2/25, 3/04 and 3/11/2021

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9001398 The name of the business: Functional Fitness Training, located at 200 Grapevine Road Apt, 1, Vista, Ca. 92083. Registrant Information: Shavel Yang 200 Grapevine Road Apt 1 Vista, CA. 92083 This business is conducted by an individual. First day of business n/a. /s/ Shavel Yang Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 1/29/2021 2/11, 2/18, 2/25 & 3/04/2021

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9001251 The name of the business: NK Designs, located at 3164 El Ku Ave., Escondido, Ca. 92025 Registrant Information: Neda Nina Keshmiri 3164 El Ku Ave. Escondido, CA. 92025 This business is conducted by an individual. First day of business 12/01/2020 /s/ Neda Nina Keshmiri Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 1/28/2021 2/11, 2/18, 2/25 & 3/04/2021

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9001236 The name of the business: Level 5 Design, located at 975 Park Center Dr., Vista, Ca. 92081. Registrant Information: Michael Timothy Smee 29602 Platanus Drive Escondido, Ca. 92026 This business is conducted by an individual. First day of business4/01/2016 /s/ Michael Timothy Smee Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 1/28/2021 2/11, 2/18, 2/25 & 3/04/2021

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9001052 The name of the business: Pass ‘N Go Smog Center; Pass ‘N Go Smog; Pass ‘N Go, located at 1310 N. Melrose Dr. Suite D, Vista, CA. 92083 Registrant Information: Jorge Salazasr Camacho 1220 Woodview Dr. Oceanside, Ca. 92056 This business is conducted by an individual. First day of business n/a. /s/ Jorge Salazar Camacho Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 1/27/2021. 2/11, 2/18, 2/25 & 3/04/2021

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9001229 The name of the business: S A Roofing, located at 522 11th St., Imperial Beach, CA. 91932. Registrant Information: Salvador Acevedo Rojas 522 11th St. Imperial Beach, Ca. 91932 This business is conducted by an individual. First day of busines 8/23/2020 /s/Salvador Acevedo Rojas, CEO Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 1/28/2021 2/18, 2/25, 3/04 and 3/11/2021

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9001495 The name of the business: Monster Tree Service of North County, Inc., located at 1890 Cathan Lane, Vista, Ca. 92084. Registrant Information: Monster Tree Service of North County, Inc. 1890 Cathan Lane Vista, Ca. 92084 This business is conducted by a corporation. First day of business n/a. /s/ Jamie Bowers, President Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 02/01/2021. 2/18, 2/25, 3/04 & 3/11/2021 FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9000667 The name of the business: FSA Design Studio, located at 2694 Medford Court, Carlsbad, Ca. 92010 Registrant Information: Joseph Arthur and Robin Cornell de Porras 2694 Medford Court Carlsbad, CA. 92010 This business is conducted by a Married Couple. First day of business 2/02/2017. /s/ Joseph Arthur de Porras Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 01/22/2021. 2/4, 2/11, 2/18 & 2/25/2021

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9000755 The name of the business: manuka, located at 1574 Casa Real Ln., San Marcos, CA. 92069. Registrant Information: Sophia Veale 1574 Casa Real Ln. San Marcos, CA. 92069 This business is conducted by an individual. First day of business . n/a. /s/Sophia Veale Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 1/25/2021.. 2/4, 2/11, 2/18 & 2/25/2021

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9001764 The name of the business: Ocean Heart Dentistry, located at 2952 Oceanside Blvd., Oceanside, Ca. 92054. Registrant Information: KJ Kim Dental Corporation 2952 Oceanside Blvd. Oceanside, CA. 92054 This business is conducted by a corporation. First day of business n/a. /s/ Keon Jung Kim, CEO Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 2/034/2021 2/18, 2/25, 3/04 & 3/11/2021

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9002014 The name of the business: Global Action International, located at 765 Santa Barbara Drive, San Marcos, CA. 92078. Registrant Information: Stronger Together Ministries, Inc. 765 Santa Barbara Drive San Marcos, Ca. 92078 This business is conducted by a corporation. First day of business 1/1/2021 /s/ Mark D. Griffo, President Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 2/05/2021 2/18, 2/25, 3/04 and 3/11/2021

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Page 16 • March 04, 2021


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