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February 11, 2021

Volume 51 - No. 06

By Tom Morrow

Author’s note: During my 80-plus years I had the unique experience of traveling nearly around the world, both in the military and as a civilian travel writer or just plain ol’ tourist. The following is an account of my first big global adventure after leaving home for the Navy.

While at U.S Naval Base Treasure Island in the Bay area, waiting for transportation across the Pacific to the island of Guam, I was told to The Paper - 760.747.7119

website:www.thecommunitypaper.com

email: thepaper@cox.net

grab my duffle bag and board a bus headed for Travis Air Force Base, some 40 miles east of the San Francisco. Left: A satellite photo of Guam

Some two hours later I boarded a MATS (Military Air Transport Service) DC-6. It was operated by both the Air Force and the Navy. Our captain (pilot)

was a Naval officer, the rest were Air Force personnel.

It was an eight-hour flight to Hickham Air Force Base in Honolulu. (a few months later, the pioneering Boeing 707 jetliner cut that time to Hawaii nearly in half). Depending upon Jet Stream conditions, today’s flight time between San Francisco or Los Angeles to Hawaii is between four and five hours. Of course, upon arrival in the beautiful Aloha island paradise, I wanted

to see more. It was 1959 and the Territory of Hawaii became our 50th state, but the most I saw on that trip was in the waiting lounge of the old Honolulu International Airport. The present airport complex was being built two years later while I was stationed at Barber’s Point Naval Air Station (1960-62). After about two hours of waiting, I boarded a civilian Pan American flight headed for Manila in the Philippines, with a stopover on Wake Island for refueling and then on to the Territory of Guam. From

GUAM - You Had to be There! See Page 2


The Paper

Page 2 • February 11, 2021

GUAM, You Had to be There! Cont. from Page 1

crisp clear day. Wake is circular in shape with one side long enough for a runway. There was a terminal, gift shop and café … that was it.

Honolulu to Guam in those pre-jet days it was a tiring 16-hour flight. I would have the great fortune to land and briefly look around on Wake Island, one of the “stepping stones” of the Pacific as a series of coral atolls were known from 1938 to 1941. Depending upon the destination, the “stones’” route began in San Francisco for the Pan American Clippers four-engine luxurious 35passenger seaplanes, which would land at Honolulu, then fly on to Wake or Midway Islands, and finally Guam before reaching on to the Far East Orient destinations such as Manila, Hong Kong, and Tokyo. That stretch from Honolulu to Midway and/or Wake was critical in that navigation had to be precise in order to find those “postage stamps” of the Pacific. Both amount to little more than a mile long and a half-mile wide. As many fliers and mariners have discovered, the Pacific is vast, lonely and deadly if you don’t know what you’re doing, navigational-wise. Midway is the northern-most island in the Hawaiian chain.

Today’s modern jetliners make dozens of flights each week spanning half the globe from the West coasts of North and South America on 12- and 14-hour non-stop flights to Australia, New Zealand, the Philippines, Japan, South Korea, and China – most without landing.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Chuckle This week, a compendium of wit, wisdom and neat stuff you can tell at parties. Enjoy!

Three Irishmen are sitting in the pub window seat, as they sat there drinking pints of Guinness, they looked out the window, watching the front door of the brothel across the road.

A local Methodist Pastor walked up to the brothel, knocked on the front door and then went inside. "Would you look at that." says the first Irishman, "Didn't I always say what a bunch of hypocrites those Methodists were?"

No sooner are the words out of his mouth than a Rabbi appears at the front door, knocks, and goes inside the brothel. The second Irishman says, "Another one trying to fool everyone with pious preaching and stupid hats!"

Midway Island Atoll

During World War II, Wake fell to the Japanese who took prisoners of a small detachments of U.S. Marines and a crew of civilian construction workers. They remained POWs until the end of the war. After about an hour, we were back in the air for the final flight to Guam.

On that flight, we had a VIP a b o a r d , although we didn’t know it until we made our final landing. The new a d m i r a l assigned to govern Guam Wake Island Atoll Beach Scene was on the plane, with his wife and chilAfter about eight hours we dren. We knew this because he and descended for a refueling stop at his family, all in civilian clothes, Wake Island, which is actually a coral atoll. As we circled this small were allowed to disembark before speck floating in blue water, the everyone else was allowed. white sand shone brilliantly on this From the time I left Treasure Island They continue drinking their pints o' Guinness roundly condemning the Vicar and the Rabbi for being hypocrits of their faith's.

Just then their own Catholic Priest knocks on the front door of the brothel and goes inside. "Ah, now dat's sad." says the third Irishman, "One of the girls must have died." •••• 1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds 2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do 3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage

4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with 5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate 6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets 7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living

8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist 9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does

10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money

11. MISTY: How golfers create divots 12. PARADOX: Two physicians!

13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower

14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm

15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with 16. PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV

17. RELIEF: What trees do in the spring 18. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife 19. SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does

my stomach had been churning with excitement because I was making my first really big adventure in life. I wouldn’t be disappointed.

It was very late at night upon our arrival on Guam. I do remember the terrible feeling of being alone. I had just left my young wife and son in Kansas City, which was definitely a memorable and lonely moment in my 20-year-old life. There was a heavy aroma of humid air that I later found out is commonplace for tropical islands. I was whisked by bus over to the transient barracks of the Naval Air Station in Agana, the island’s capital city – make that more or less a town of about 2,000. Although I was dead tired after 32 hours of travel flying time (from Kansas City), I got very little sleep that first night, er rather morning. When revelry was sounded at 7 a.m., I got up and headed for the chow hall. I write these rather detailed descriptions of my first few hours on Guam because of my first impressions in an entirely new and strange world. As the sun was rising, I was in awe of the low-hanging, fluffy cumulus clouds which are so typical around nearly all tropical islands of the Pacific.

The lack of any window glass was another cultural oddity this young

GUAM, You Had to be There! Cont. on Page 3

The second nun answered, "Indeed it would, Sister, but I would not feel comfortable buying beer, since I am certain it would cause a scene at the checkout stand."

"I can handle that without a problem," the other nun replied, and she picked up a six-pack and headed for the check-out.

The cashier had a surprised look on his face when the two nuns arrived with a six-pack of beer. "We use beer for washing our hair," the nun said. "Back at the convent, we call it Catholic shampoo."

Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, pulled out a package of pretzel sticks, and placed them in the bag with the beer.

20. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official

He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled, and said, "The curlers are on the house."

22. BIGAMIST: An Italian Fog

THIS WAS A VERY FUNNY SHOW...

21. INNUENDO: Suppository

Catholic Shampoo

Italian

Two nuns were shopping at a 7Eleven. As they passed the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, "Wouldn't a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?"

Hollywood Squares

In the 1960s there was a US TV game show called Hollywood Squares Basically stars were asked questions by the host, and the contest-

Chuckles Cont. on Page 5


Social Butterfly

The Paper • Page 3 • February 11, 2021

The

have moments where it’s tough to feel that way and the same goes for kids, too. However, studies show that expressing gratitude can have benefits such as supporting physical and mental well-being, boosting self-esteem, and enhancing sleep quality; all of which contribute to happier, healthier children.

Evelyn Madison The Social Butterfly Email Evelyn at:

thesocialbutterfly@cox.net

Rady Children's Opens Community Vaccination Center Rady Children’s is proud to be a COVID-19 vaccination site in partnership with the County of San Diego. As part of Phase 1A and Tier 1 of Phase 1B, we have been vaccinating the region’s health care workers, first responders and residential care facility professionals, as well as individuals 65 years and over. To find out if you qualify and to schedule at Rady Children’s or another location, please review the County vaccination information. And, for a look inside the clinic, learn more from Rady Children’s nurse Lori Faierman. How Gratitude Can Influence Kids' Well-Being - Even if our lives are largely fulfilling, it’s not unusual to

GUAM, You Had to be There! Cont. from Page 2

Iowan had never experienced. Each window had screens and louvers. The louvers were cranked shut during a typhoon or heavy rain storm. During the 16 months I was on Guam I never saw any of those louvers closed. We had a couple of typhoons come close to hitting Guam, but none ever made landfall.

When I arrived at my new duty station, Airborne Early Warning Squadron Three (VW-3), it had been 14 years after the shooting stopped ending World War II. Guam was the scene of a horrific battle as the U.S. fought to take back the Marianas Islands, which included Guam, Tinian, Saipan and Maug. The island chain had been U.S. territories since taking them from Spain in 1898 during the Spanish-American War. Taking back Saipan from the Japanese had been one of the bloodiest battles of the Pacific operations. During World War II, Tinian, a very small island between Guam and Saipan, was turned into a launching pad for B-29 “Super Fortress” bombers. It was from Tinian that Col. Paul Tibbets and his “Enola Gay” crew dropped the first atom bomb on Hiroshima helping to bring the war to an end.

In the early 1960s, some 15 years after the shooting had stopped, the war was finally over for two lone

Be a Hero! - Heroes are those who make a monthly contribution to Rady Children's. This is one of the easiest and most convenient ways to make a difference to our patients and families. Whether you choose to give $19 or $100 a month or any amount that fits with your budget and desire to help you will be helping to ensure that Rady Children’s is here for every child who needs us.

For additional information on any of these items, contact Rady Children's Hospital Foundation, 3020 Children's Way, San Diego, CA 92123; Phone 858.966.7878.

Robert Parker in a Free Valentine's Concert Online - On Sunday, Valentine's Day, February 14th, at 6pm, the Scripps Ranch Theatre (SRT) and Oceanside Theatre Company (OTC) will present a FREE Valentine's Day concert of classic love songs from acclaimed pianist Robert Parker. The concert will stream "Robert Parker: Love Songs LIVE". Some of the favorite love songs include "Misty," "My One And Only,"

"Evergreen," "Always And Forever," and "Your Song." This show is FREE as a Valentine from SRT and OTC to you! Audiences can tune in at http://scrippsranchtheatre.org/robertparkerlovesongs/ or http://oceansidetheatre.org/robertparkerlovesongs/

San Marcos Chamber News - San Marcos Chamber Happy Hour, Wednesday, February 17th, 5pm6pm. Keeping people virtually connected and meeting NEW faces is key to expanding your network. Join us for an evening of sharing great ideas and information; we look forward to seeing you.

San Marcos Chamber Coffee Connections, Friday, February 19th, 9am-10am. Early risers mark your calendars! We'll be hosting our monthly morning mixer on a Friday in February. Come ready with your favorite beverage for a morning buzz of inspiring conversation. For more information on either of these events, contact the Chamber at 251 North City Drive, #128, San Marcos 92078.

dence. Guam had a civilian governor, but in those days he was more-or-less and ceremonial appointed by the President. A few years after I left, citizens Guam were given the right to elect their own governor. By way, the Guamanians, like natives of Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands, are citizens. That U.S. WWII B-29 operations on Tinian Island just north year of 1959, was a of Guam benchmark in U.S. because history Japanese soldiers who had been holding out by hiding in the both the territories of Alaska and Guamanian jungle. When they were Hawaii gained statehood. On Guam 19,000 about were discovered, their hideout was less there than two miles from the nearest Guamanians in total population. U.S. military installation. The Navy There was a great number of had to fly in a Japanese diplomat Filipino workers also on the island, from Tokyo to talk the two soldiers which brought the civilian populainto surrendering. The two old men tion to around 20,000. Add another had a very difficult time in believ- 15,000 military personnel and it ing the war had been over for some made the island rather populated 15 years. It was the biggest story for for a landmass of 33 miles long and the Guam daily newspaper since the 8 miles wide at its narrowest point; 19 miles at its widest. end of World War II. In those days of the early 1950s and ‘60s, Guam was a military base and little else. Unlike today, it was definitely not a tourist destination. There was only one hotel on the island and it only had 10 rooms. No one arrived or left the island without the official permission of the governing Navy admiral in resi-

Another historic event happened while I was on Guam: The Navy’s bathyscaphe operation descended to the 38,000-foot depth of the Marianas Trench off the western coast of the Guam. The “Trench” is the deepest known spot on the planet.

Republican Club of Ocean Hills Announces February Meeting On Wednesday, February 17th, join the Republican Club of Ocean Hills (RCOH) when they welcome speaker Paula Whitsell, Incoming Chair of the Republican Party of San Diego County (RPSDC). She will address the goals of RPSDC and how the organization will contribute to the 2022 Midterm elections. As an outstanding Republican leader, Whitsell is also the first woman to hold the Chair title in county GOP history. Paula Whitsell joined RPSDC in 2009, and has continued to actively support the organization. In 2017, she was elected RPSDC Secretary, and in 2018, was elected the RPSDC 2nd Vice Chair. Concurrently, Paula is involved in San Diego Republican Woman groups and in local political efforts in the South Bay where she resides. She owns and operates a small business in Chula Vista. She lived and worked in Brazil for 17 years before returning to the San Diego area in 1989 with her family. Having seen socialism in action in Brazil, she is an activist voice for Republican values.

The Republican Club of Ocean Hills (RCOH) believes in Republican values: Individual responsibility, personal freedom, limited government, a market economy, low taxes, and a strong nation-

Social Butterfly Cont. on Page 5

The Guamanian people are an ethnic group unto themselves. They are cousins of those islanders populating the various Polynesian islands of the Pacific. For the most part, Guamanians take everyday life in stride. Left: Tom Morrow P e t t y Officer 3rd Class

Looking back, all in all, I had an enjoyable experience while on Guam. Of course, I was homesick and missed my family. Making a telephone call from Guam was an ordeal at best. It really was a “radio” call. There were no satellites, so overseas communications was by radio transmissions to the continental U.S., then over the telephone network once the transmission was connected to land lines. It usually was a 20-minute ordeal before contact was made. There was a lot of yelling involved in order to be heard. The average cost was around $20 dollars for one minute.

GUAM: You Had to be There! Cont’d on Page 5


Local News

The Paper Sheriff’s Seek Person Who Set Off Fireworks Inside Vista Target

Detectives with the Vista Sheriff’s Station want the public’s help to identify the person who set off fireworks inside a Target store in Vista.

It happened on Tuesday, February 2nd just before 9:00 p.m. at the Target located in the 3100 block of Business Park Drive. Deputies from the Vista Sheriff’s Station responded to several 9-1-1 calls about a possible active shooter after people inside the store reported hearing what sounded like gunfire. Once they arrived, deputies quickly set up a perimeter around the store and made their way inside. Officers from the Carlsbad Police Department, Oceanside Police Department, Escondido Police Department, San Diego Police Department, California Highway Patrol, as well as deputies from other Sheriff’s Stations, quickly arrived on the scene to support the Vista Deputies.

The store was evacuated out of an abundance of caution. After a thorough search, no injured victims or suspects were found. Deputies did find a small trash can laying on its side in a store aisle. Inside of the trash can and scattered all over the floor were several burned and exploded firecrackers. A review of the store’s surveillance video revealed a suspect entering the aisle where the trash can was

Page 4 •

found. A large flash of light is seen and the suspect runs out of the aisle. A photo of the person seen in the video is attached to this news release.

A similar incident happened at a Ross store located in the 32000 block of Temecula Parkway in Temecula back on January 31st. Sheriff’s Detectives are investigating whether both incidents are related. The San Diego County Sheriff’s Department and all law enforcement agencies take incidents like this very seriously. While thankfully no one was hurt, setting off fireworks inside any business can lead to injury or even death. A reminder: it is illegal to possess, transport or use fireworks in San Diego County. The suspect is described as a man with a light complexion. He was wearing a black baseball cap with a white and blue logo, black neck gaiter, black sweater with a white undershirt, black pants and black shoes with white soles. Progressive Church music chases me away from attending their churches.

OPEN:

Old Time Religion I'll Fly Away

Leaning on the Everlasting In the Garden

More and more I see today’s church- Rock of Ages es opting to go for “Progressive Precious Lord, Take My Hand Christian Music.” Sorry. Not for me.

He's Got the Whole World

While I am not a Christian I love Amazing Grace good old gospel songs. The toe tapOnward Christian Soldiers pers, for the most part.

I understand why churches are Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus doing this. They want to appeal to the younger crowd. And they may The Old Rugged Cross be succeeding . . but they lose a lot Swing Low, Sweet Chariot of us “old timers” in the process. I love to listen to Pastor Sam Brumit speak (at Mission 316 in San Marcos,) and Pastor Hal Seed, (at New Song Community Church in Oceanside.). And Pastor Dick Huls? I could listen to him read the phone book as a sermon and I would be enthralled. They are all great pastors and speakers . . . but the

call the Sheriff’s Department at (858) 565-5200. Escondido Public Library Opens

The Library has reopened for limited in-person services as of Monday, February 1.

Library hours will be 9 a.m. – 5 p.m. Monday through Saturday. Holds can be picked up on the selfservice shelves during Library open hours. Additionally, curbside pickup service for holds will be offered Tuesdays and Thursdays from 11 a.m. – 1 p.m., and Wednesdays from 2 p.m. – 3 p.m. For information on how curbside pickup works, v i s i t www.escondidolibrary.org/curbside. At this time, the Friends Book Shop, Literacy Learning Center and Pioneer Room remain closed. Donations are not being accepted at this time.

Patrons will be able to browse the stacks and check out books, audio books, and DVDs. Time in the library will be limited to two hours maximum each day in order to adhere to the limited 20% capacity guidelines. All in-person programs have been suspended, but many regular programs such as book clubs and story times are being held online. Visit www.escondidolibrary.org/digital for a full schedule of virtual events.

What a Friend We Have in Jesus

When the Roll is Called up Yonder . . Joy to the World Silent Night

Jesus Loves Me

Letters to the Editor About Damned Time!

Lyle Davis of The Paper.

My cell phone started going off earlier today along with several messages that were left in my voice mail box, all saying: “Paddy, have you seen the current issue of The Paper? Better take a look, Mate. This is the ‘smoking gun’ answer you’ve been looking for!"

Well, I picked up The Paper on Military Helicopters with Indian Names (2/4/21) and read it through. Thank you Mr. Davis for having the courage to publish this. This may not seem like a big deal to you but believe me, we're so

Letters to the Editor Cont. on Page 7

If you recognize the suspect or have any information about this incident,

Give me that old time religion! If I were to present a gospel show at any church (or secular venue, for that matter), here’s what I would offer:

Man About Town

February 11, 2021

If You're Happy and You Know It . . . Jesus Loves the Little Children This Little Light of Mine

Will the Circle Be Unbroken . . . Precious Memories

Faith of Our Fathers

God Be With You, Till we Meet Again... Church in the Wildwood The Three Bells Closing:

How Great Thou Art, or

Midnight Special •••• Sad to report the passing of former Escondio City Manager, Dave Brown via this message from former Mayor Alan Skuba;

Received word that former Escondido City Manager, David M. Brown, passed away last Saturday, January 30th at his home in Scottsdale, Arizona. I believe David was 85. He is survived by his wife, Rosemary and his four adult children (Lisa, Michael, David, Jr. and Shelly). As you will remember, David served as Escondido City Manager

January 24, 1968 to January 1, 1970.

This comment from Mr. Brown’s successor as city manager, Ken Lounsbery (now principal partner in the law firm of Lounsbery, Higgins and Mack: Thanks, Alan –Though George Patterson succeeded Dave, much of Dave’s work laid a foundation for what I relied upon during my tenure. Hope you stay well during these pressing times. Warmest wishes, Ken •••• Memo to those who write and send press releases:

Please . . if you’re gonna email press releases to The Paper, be sure to get them to us by no later than Friday, 5pm, the week before our next publication!

All too often we have well meaning publicity folks send us press releases on a Wednesday or Thursday for events that occur that coming weekend. No way can we get them in The Paper as we have already gone to press for that week; we go to press Tuesday mornings, sometimes Monday evenings.

Also, if you’re going to include photos please send them as attachments in either jpg or pdf format. If you embed them in your press release, odds re 95% that they will not be published. Thanks!


The Paper

GUAM, You Had to be There! Cont. from Page 3

You tended to talk fast.

Being assigned to a Naval Air fleet squadron was a wonderful experience for me. I could escape Guam for several days at a time when my crew would “deploy” to Japan, Okinawa or the Philippine Islands. I also got to make short visits to Iwo Jima and Kwajalein.

On a monthly basis, the Navy was charged with patrolling the U.S. Trust Territory islands. On one occasion my crew had the duty of making a check flight over Truk, Ulithi, Palau, and other former WWII tropical battlefields. We didn’t land, we just waved, tipped our wings and flew on by. Every one of these islands had been battlefield sites where thousands of Americans lost their lives fighting to retake them from the Japanese. There were two primary forms of entertainment for servicemen stationed on Guam: movies and the various base clubs where you could get a beer … and, if you knew the bartender or looked like you were 21, something stronger. It’s amazing how you “age” in the Pacific.

We had the “Agana Bowl,” a descending Hollywood Bowl-like amphitheater with a huge screen at the bottom. The Navy got movies that were a bit stale. Some of the films were nothing more than old TV shows such as “Bonanza,” “77 Sunset Strip,” and “Wagon Train.” I already had seen many of them. I remember the big Agana (civilian) theater held the “Pacific” premier of John Wayne’s “Rio Bravo,” which already was a year old. If we wanted to get a near-new movie, we had to drive up to Anderson Air Force Base at the northern end of the island. Those Air Force boys got all of the latest movies. In those days Anderson was a B-47 bomber base, part of the Strategic Air Command. (During the Viet Nam war several years later, it was a big B-52 base.

There were no less than a dozen different Navy, Army, and Air Force bases or installations on Guam, most of which had a movie theater of some sort. There was a weekly movie guide put out and we could drive around to the various bases to see the movie we wanted. The one “new movie” I remember seeing at Anderson Air Force Base was “Some Like It Hot.” Little did I know the significance that movie would have on my later life. Director Billy Wilder’s classic comedy had filmed at the Hotel del Coronado the summer of 1958 while I was going through Navy boot camp across the bay at the Naval Training Center in San Diego. Years later, (1984), I directed a big 25th reunion for the film’s stars at the hotel where I was vice president for communications. Jack Lemon, Tony Curtis, and Wilder, plus other actors in the film (those still alive at the time) showed up.

Page 5 • • February 11, 2021

That first year on Guam, I was determined to be home for Christmas so I can see my young seven-month old son. The roundtrip ticket from Guam to Kansas City was $625, so I set about saving and raising that amount. I should point out that my pay at that time was less than $200 a month. Getting that amount of money was an overwhelming task for a third-class petty officer. When you’re in the midst of a bunch of sailors who liked to drink, money never lasted between paydays. A buddy and myself set about pooling our money, creating a “slush fund,” which was highly illegal in the Navy. Simply put, we loaned out $5 and collected $7 on payday; $10 for $14. It took me four months to get the $625 from my share of the fund, which we immediately closed down for fear of getting caught. Most of the guys “borrowing” money from me knew why I was doing it, so some borrowed even if they didn’t need it. On my trip back to the states, I was able to travel in the new Boeing 707 from Honolulu to San Francisco, and another one from SFO to Kansas City. The formally eighthour flight on a prop-plane between Honolulu and SFO, was cut to a little over four hours aboard the 707. I was a pioneer. It was a fascinating experience as I was able to witness this historical change in transportation.

aboard the USNS Mann, a World War II troop ship. It was a five-day voyage, another military experience. For me, that time honored slogan became true: “I joined the Navy and I did see the world” … a big part of it.

So, my Guam days came to an end. Ironically, for the past several years I’ve had an urge to revisit that Pacific island. I’d like to see the vast improvements that have been done. Looking back on those days, I finally realize that an old Navy slogan that was jokingly and often, albeit grudgingly, uttered by many sailors: “Guam is Good!” It had a certain ring of truth … but you’d have to have been there to appreciate it.

Chuckles Cont. from Page 2

ants had to guess whether their answer was correct or not. But the real power of the show was the one-liners that the stars answered the question with, before giving their real answer. Some of the best responses are below. Q. Do female frogs croak?

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be ?

My crew’s Lockheed Super G Constellation radar aircraft

In June 1960, VW-3 decommissioned and I, as well as most of the other sailors in the squadron, were transferred to NAS Barber’s Point on Oahu, some 20 miles west of Honolulu. Each month our crew flew the radar picket barrier from Midway to Adak, Alaska and back – non-stop. There were no less than four “Willy Victors” flying the barrier loop. Often our flights took as much as 15 hours. We were there supposedly to catch any Soviet rockets trying to slip across the Pacific to North America. As far as I know, not one Russian got past Adak … and, you wondered why you felt so safe during those years Uncle Sam’s Navy was on the job. In recent years, the Japanese have returned, retaking the island of Guam, building expensive hotels and beach resorts. Today, Guam is a favorite destination for newly-wed Japanese couples and tourists. Old NAS Agana was closed in 1995, and today it is the island’s busy island international airport.

For the transfer to Oahu I was put

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat? A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness.

(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A. Rose Marie: No. Wait until

Chuckle Cont. on Page 6

Social Butterfly Cont. from Page 3

al defense. RCOH meets the third Wednesday of each month, currently on ZOOM. The program on the 17th begins at 1:00pm, followed by our speaker at 1:15pm. For more information and the link to attend the ZOOM meeting, please email RepublicanClubOfOceanHills@gm ail.com or call John at 760.497.6117. Check out RCOH at www.republicanclubofoceanhills.c om.

What's Up Downtown Oceanside - Oceanside Fountain Patio Reopening, Monday-Friday, Civic Center Plaza Fountain. Support local businesses and grab lunch to go to enjoy at the reopened Fountain Patio, made possible through a partnership with the City of Oceanside and provides monitored and sanitized additional outdoor seating options for Downtown restaurant customers. Open weekdays from 10am to 3pm, weather permitting.

Bliss Valentine's Production: 12th Night - February 13th, Bliss Tea and Treats: Experience high tea while you enjoy this adaptation of Shakespeare's comedy "The Plaintiff and the Judge." Groups will be seated together to maintain social distancing, and cast members will wear clear face shields to show facial expressions while maintaining safety. Tickets are $60 per person.

Black History Month; February, Oceanside Public Library. Throughout the month, the Library staff will highlight conversations, events and reading suggestions to recognize the impact of Black history, literature and culture. Be sure to check out the Martin Luther King, Jr., Collection full of print and digital materials for children, teens and adults located at the Civic Center Library. Ocean Friendly To-Go Program, Ongoing, Oceanside - Surfrider Foundation San Diego has launched a new and free program for local restaurants, customers and our ocean. View the map to find local Oceanside restaurants participating in the program to help build a movement for zero waste takeout. Visit their website to learn the measurable impacts of the program. Now Open in Downtown Oceanside - The Green House; at 212 North Coast Highway. The Green House offers plant-based sandwiches, vegan essentials, gluten-free bread, salads and breakfast by website ordering or walk-in. Call 760.529.4814 for current operating hours and delivery options. For information about any of these items, contact MainStreet Oceanside, 760.754.4512, or www.mainstreetoceanside.com. They are located at 701 Mission Avenue, Oceanside, 92054.

Social Butterfly Cont. on Page 8


The Paper

Chuckles Cont. from Page 5

morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

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A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'? Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?

A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?

A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget. Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at Nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other? A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom. Q Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

February 11, 2021

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?

A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?

A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh. •••• The following questions were set in last year's GED examination These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds) Q. Name the four seasons A.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. How is dew formed A.. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections A.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election Q. What are steroids A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

Q... What happens to your body as you age A.. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty A.. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes A.. Premature death Q. What is artificial insemination

. Chuckles Cont. on Page 7

Preventing Wildfires

Wildfires are an ever-present threat in California. Last year was the worst on record with over 4.2 million acres burned. As we can all remember, local fires such as the Cedar, Witch, Cocos, Guejito, and Lilac fires have devastated this region as well. We’ve been spending billions trying to prevent and fight wildfires, but the situation has worsened. What we’ve been doing simply hasn’t worked.

We need a comprehensive, multipronged approach to preventing wildfires, which is why I am joining Assemblyman James Gallagher of Yuba City to co-author Assembly Bill 297, the Wildfire Prevention and Forest Resiliency Act of 2021. The bill allocates $500 million annually from the existing Greenhouse Gas Reduction Fund to provide sustained resources for forest health, forest management and fire prevention programs, and has gained support from legislators throughout California.

We need to remove dead and dying trees from our forests, along with bureaucratic hurdles that prevent good forest management and vegetation clearance. In the Governor’s state of emergency declaration last year, 35 forest management projects were exempted from CEQA requirements, eliminating years of bureaucratic delays. AB 297 expands on those exemptions so that 500,000 acres can be treated annually. We have millions

of dead or dying trees, a major wildfire fuel source, but nowhere to put them once they’re removed. By supporting biomass, biofuels and other wood products industries, removal will be encouraged. In addition, homeowners will be allowed exemptions to expand defensive space around their homes. Wildfires pour billions of metric tons of CO2 into the atmosphere, easily wiping out progress we’ve made elsewhere to reduce carbon pollution. And the cost to fight them is enormous -$1.3 billion just last year. Once enacted, AB 297 will save money and property, protect the environment, and most importantly, it will save lives. Assembly Republican Leader Marie Waldron, R-Escondido, represents the 75th Assembly District in the California Legislature, which includes the communities of Bonsall, Escondido, Fallbrook, Hidden Meadows, Pala, Palomar Mountain, Pauma Valley, Rainbow, San Marcos, Temecula, Valley Center and Vista.

News for the Social Butterfly? Send your press releases to: thesocialbutterfly@cox.net

5th District Supervisor

Jim Desmond

Vaccine Frustration

The rollout for the COVID-19 vaccine has been frustrating, not just in San Diego County, but across the State of California. While there is some good news, with the opening of the Super Station at Cal State San Marcos, there is a growing disappointment with the way the vaccine is being allocated and I completely understand. The County of San Diego has created the infrastructure to be able to administer the vaccines, the challenge is, there are simply not enough doses. The good news is, as soon as we receive more, we will be able to act quickly and get people inoculated. More good news, the County of San Diego has partnered with fire agencies around the County to allocate vaccines in the unincorporated areas. Valley Center, Fallbrook and other areas soon will have vaccinations coming to their communities.

This past week, I was to tour the Super Station in San Marcos as well as the Borrego Springs site and was amazed at the efficiency I want to thank all of the healthcare workers, our firefighters and every one who has jumped in during this time of

need. We appreciate your amazing work.

I’m going to continue to push for the State and Federal government to give us more doses and I believe strongly that the most vulnerable should be given the vaccine immediately, to save as many lives as possible. Also, I'm advocating for the County of San Diego to allow both law enforcement and teachers to receive the vaccine right now. We must get our teachers vaccinated, so we can get our kids back in the

To contact North County Office – by appointment only 325 S. Melrose Ave., Suite 5200 Vista, CA 92081 Mon.-Fri., 8:00 a.m.-5:00 p.m. Website: www.supervisorjimdesmond.com Email: Jim.Desmond@sdcounty.ca.gov


The Paper

Chuckles Cont. from Page 6

A... When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour A.. Keep it in the cow

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen) A.. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U ( ? ) Q. What is the fibula? A.. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean? A.. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control A.. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section' A.. The caesarean section is a district in Rome Q. What is a seizure? A.. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit) Q. What is a terminal illness A. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean? A.. Benign is what you will be after you be eight Q. What is a turbine? A.. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head. •••• Just before I was deployed to Iraq, I sat my eight-year-old son down and broke the news to him. “I’m going to be away for a long time,” I told him. “I’m going to Iraq.”

“Why?” he asked. “Don't you know there’s a war going on over there?” •••• Paul Newman founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for children stricken with cancer, AIDS, and blood diseases. One afternoon, he and his wife, Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with the kids. A counselor at a nearby table, suspecting the young patients wouldn’t know Newman was a famous movie star, explained, “That’s the man who made this camp possible. Maybe you’ve seen his picture on his salad dressing bottle?” Blank stares.

Page 7 • • February 11, 2021

Letters to the Editor Cont. from Page 4

tired of hearing only one side of this story by bleeding-heart liberals and the Far Left media! Why weren’t these HUGE facts ever reported before by the mainstream media? Not by CNN, New York Times, The Washington Post, social media – no one!

The Paper scored a huge homerun with this cover story, and with all the bases loaded! Thanks for "leveling the playing field" by giving us both sides of this controversy. The U. S. Marine Corps has many mottos, one of which is: “Once a Marine, Always a Marine.” Well, you can add one more “Once a Fan of 0 Always a Fan." Again, thanks Mr. Davis for having the courage to publish And thanks to Friedrich Gomez for writing it. Freakin' brilliant! Semper Fi. Patrick Flannigan & his big Irish Clan & friends. Oceanside, Vista, Escondido.

by Tom Morrow

Ma, Ya Made My Pants Too Big

… The first time I realized I was getting old was when I could no longer keep my pants up with a belt. Let me explain … When I started kindergarten in September 1945, I had to wear suspenders to keep my pants up. Despite my pleadings to my Mother, I had to follow through with what the British call “braces.”

Wow! What a Story! WOW!! Lyle, that’s the first word that hit me after reading your cover story on U. S. military helicopters with tribal names which, for me, shoots down any argument against having these names applied since they were in “full cooperation and early endorsement” by various tribal nations from the git-go.

Lyle, this is what keeps The Paper so informative, topical, and with exclusive reporting. I never knew these behind-the-scenes facts. I never even knew they existed! This story is long, long overdue (or should I say, long, long ‘coveredup’!) Your writer Friedrich Gomez “throws a bag of rattlesnake right into the liberal crowd” with this one! So proud of him and The Paper! Maybe Friedrich could do a sequel on all the sports teams that are planning to change their various Indian names, etc. (some already have). With his brilliant research I'm certain we'll all learn something that the Liberals would not want us to know. Mr. Davis, you’re wonderful! Oh, and by the way, all of us countless, loyal fans out here absolutely LOVE YOUR CHUCKLES IN THE PAPER. Anyone who doesn't like 'em can simply not choose to read them. Kinda like television and radio -- they have something attached to them called REMOTES & KNOBS by which humans can either change the channel or dial a different radio station. Knobs and such have been around quite a spell. It's all part of a democracy and the freedom of choice that goes along with it.

“Well, you’ve probably seen his face on his lemonade carton.”

/s/ Maria Elena Contreras-Hauser & military family & friends, North San Diego County.

Chuckles Cont. on Page 13

Letters to the Editor Cont. on Page 10

An eight-year-old girl perked up. “How long was he missing?”

Historically Speaking

A Welcome and A Comment

Tom Morrow Kindergarten - 1945

My cousin Bob, who was only six months older, got to wear his new Western belt, complete with a shiny silver buckle. His butt stuck out slightly so he had a natural platform on which to hang his corduroys. (Those were the days when denim jeans were around, but expensive and hard to find.) My Mom made my pants and she left plenty of room for me to grow into. I looked somewhat like a giant, slender bean pole with sagging bark.

I have to admit those suspenders were a step up from the blue bib overalls which were my alternative daily wardrobe. It would be my entering second grade before my butt was ample enough to support a belt. The step up in my school wear came at the right time. I had my first love affair in the second grade. The recipient of my affection was our teacher, Miss Harvey. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen alive and off the silver screen. She drove a new 1947 black Ford coupe, making me a Ford man for life. Miss Harvey left us later in the year to get married. I felt betrayed. I must point out that Billy A. got to wear sleek, new blue Levi’s. His Mom went the extra mile (dollars) to get them. My Mom was a Montgomery Ward catalog loyalist. She could buy anything for $2 less than the storebought goods. Billy A. looked great, although he could care less. He shunned all females in the class … he was a loner, but to us in those days he was, well, kinda cool. . I got over my disappointment of losing Miss Harvey because it was the very next year a young black-haired

beauty displaced that older woman making things more age appropriate. I doubt if the new girl ever detected my attraction, but that’s one of the hazards of young love. It was about my second-grade year that we got our first refrigerator. It was right after World War II had ended. Appliances such as that were almost impossible to get. I think my parents were on some sort of waiting list until my Uncle Dean came to the rescue. He was a refrigeration repairman and somehow obtained two (2) brand new Kelvinator refrigerators. Many people in Seymour had ice boxes because unless you had the money to buy an electric refrigerator before the War, (during the Great Depression), you had to go the ice-block method because all of the appliance manufacturers were producing implements of war.

We got one of those new refrigerators, which fit quite nicely into the space where our beloved icebox sat. Each week Jerry Johnson, our iceman cometh, leaving a 25-pound chunk of ice which lasted until the next week. We had a sign in our front-room window that said “Ice” in big black letters. Around each side were numbers: 25, 50, 75, 100. You made your week’s request by sitting the sign in the window with the desired number showing at the top. We always got 25 pounders because anything bigger wouldn’t fit the ice compartment.

That year, 1948, was memorable because we were blessed with an indoor toilet. Dad was doing his best to bring our family into the 20th century. For us, the time-honored backyard privy gave way to modern conveniences. We rejoiced, of course. If you’ve never had the call of nature during a cold winter night with a temperature of minus 10 degrees, you’re spoiled and don’t know the true meaning of commitment. To make this modern convenience possible, Dad had hired two grave diggers from the nearby South Lawn cemetery to hack out a 10 foot-by-10-foot square by 8foot-deep hole for a septic tank. He built a wooden structure around this great hole and filled it with cement, giving form to a giant square tank. It was a marvel to behold. Looking back, I guess we were poor, but for our community standards we were “middle class” because Dad had good credit in which to barter around the business square for groceries and other needs. You might think these little stories are conjured up out of fading memories, but I assure you this is what Seymour, Iowa and our family was like in the middle of the fourth decade of the 20th century.

For a great GIFT idea anytime of the year Give a gift subscription to The Paper!

Call 760.747.7119


The Paper

Social Buttefly Cont. from Page 5

Optimism Voiced as History Museum Remains Shut - The Valley Center History Museum has been closed to the public for 10 months, but the Board of Directors heard words of encouragement at their January online meeting. Museum president William Boyett said he was pleased at reports from fellow board members that the museum's financial future appears promising, that a possible expansion remains a possibility, and that the membership policy is poised for a major change. Treasurer Nicky Lovejoy reported that the museum ended the year in the black despite the fact that sales of books and other merchandise in the modest gift shop came to a halt, that donations from in-person visitors ceased, and that the year's major fund-raising event -- a longanticipated tour of historic Rancho Guejito -- had to be canceled due to the pandemic. She credited several significant year-end donations from museum supporters and members, along with earnings from modest investments.

Vice president Earl Brown gave an update on plans to increase the size of the museum which opened in 2003 with 1,364 square feet and was expanded in 2015 by another 720 square feet. He reported that he is exploring other options which would provide additional space to

Page 8 • • February 11, 2021

house the museum's growing collection of memorabilia, artifacts and historic documents.

Regarding membership, Boyett said he expects to announce a significant change which could go into effect this July, with all memberships renewing on the same date every year. Currently, membership dues are payable on the date a member initially joined.

The Board of Directors, an all-volunteer group which operates the museum and oversees the local Historical Society, also includes the following members: Jack Bose, Lynne Boyett, Marjorie Deskovick, Steven Harris, Doyan Howard, Alan Kirkpatrick, Robert Lerner, Faith Much, Justin Salter, Susan Thompson, Marcia Wrisley, and Mavany Calac Verdugo. There is no paid staff.

innovatioon

belongs in everyy moment

Rady d Childr h ldren’ss Escond dido Outpa p tient Services are moving to a new location beginning

Fe ebruary 2021 021. NEEW LOCATIONN: Rady Childrren’s Outpatient Services Although the museum building remains closed due to the pandemic, the entire interior has been sanitized

Social Butterfly Cont. on Page 10

Palomar Health Outpaatient Center

2125 Citracado Pkwyy. | Esco ondido, CA 92029

Services Relocaating* *Re-open dates subject to change h

Developmental Services and Outpatient Psychia Psychiatry

Orrthopedics t and d Radiology

Office Closed: Fridayy, Feb. 5

Office ce Closed: Wed dnesday - Fridayy, Feb. 17-19

Office Opens at New Location: Outpatient PPsychia sychiatry – Mondayy, FFeb eb. 8 Physical Therapy and High-Risk Infant Follow Up Clinic – Tuesdayy, FFeb eb. 9

Office ce Opens at New Location: Monday ndayy, Feb. 22

Audiology – Wednesdayy, Feb. 10

Otolaryngology and Ophthalmology Office Closing at 12:00 p.m.: Fridayy, Feb. 12

Office Opens at New Location: Tuesdayy, Feb. 16

Spe ecialty Clinics and d Urgent Carre Office ce Closed: Fridayy, Feb. 26 Urrgent ent Car Carre also closed Feb Feb. 27 & 28

Office ce Opens at New Location: Monday ndayy, March 1

Questions about available le services? Call Rady Children’s customeer service team at 858-966-4096 96 Using the camera on your phone or an app, scan this QR code for our new address.

rchsd.org


The Paper • Page 9 • February 11, 2021 Channai), a small seaport town on the southeast coast of India. It was the 1950's — a time of propeller planes and ship travel. Television had not yet come to that country and phone calls across the ocean were not yet possible. Communication with "the States" was by letter or telegram. When conditions were right, we could get "Your Hit Parade" on the short wave radio, but it came on at three in the morning. Even American music was not part of our everyday life.

THE WISH BOOK By Michele Ivy Davis

The fat Sears Catalog was called "The Wish Book" by many in those days. It had over 1000 pages of the necessities and luxuries of life: everything from bunk beds to bicycles, waffle irons to well pumps. But to my younger sister and me, it was so much more. It was our connection with all things American — with ready-made clothes, American styles, and with a life that was passing us by, half a world away. As I graduated from elementary school, my Foreign Service family was sent to its first post overseas. We were stationed in Madras (now

Most of our clothes were made by a tailor because there weren't any dress shops selling Europeanstyle clothes. Even our shoes were made by a shoemaker, although after he made a pair of loafers for my sister that looked exactly like the catalog picture but made her look like she had clown feet, we gave up on that.

The Sears and Wards catalogs became our lifeline to our homeland. My mother would prop the big book on the coffee table, opening it to the page that told how to determine clothing sizes. She would study the drawings, then follow the instructions, measuring our arms, necks, backs and legs carefully with a tape measure. Finally, she would get out pieces of white paper and a pencil, and carefully trace around

In an early order, only one of us got a jacket to wear in the chilly evenings at the boarding school we attended in the hills. Sometimes the stores substituted something "similar," although we did not consider the box of clove Life Savers a fair substitution for the fruit-flavored ones my mother had ordered as a treat. When the style of shoes I had chosen arrived in my sister's size and hers in mine, I knew that they could also make mistakes.

our stocking feet to send with the shoe order. How it tickled! After having us try on clothes of various sizes from friends, recording our latest measurements, and relying on her intuition, she would do her best to guess how big we would be when the clothes arrived three months later — not an easy task with rapidly-growing early teenagers.

Meanwhile, my sister, Diane, and I would pour over the catalog, picking out first what we needed and then what we would like to have, staying within the boundaries our mother had set. Shipping was expensive so we had to be careful. When the order was finally written, sealed, and mailed, we would wait as it went around the world to Sears or Wards, where it would be filled and sent back to us by sea.

Periodically, by the time the clothes arrived we had outgrown them. In a letter from boarding school, I told my mother that my younger sister's new shoes were "way too small. She could get her foot into them, but she looked like one of the stepsisters trying to fit her foot into Cinderella's glass slipper." My new shoes were also too small. Since they fit my sister, I gave them to her; I had my old shoes resoled.

At last the ship would arrive with our order and the package delivered to my father's office. We were always excited when he brought it home, but he and my mother would whisk it into their bedroom and firmly close the door, leaving us in the hall. We would wait impatiently as they removed secret birthday presents and Christmas gifts. Finally they would allow us to come into the room. On the bed was the wonderful box, packing paper scattered, and clothes folded very flat, smashed from their many months' journey to us.

When items were too small, we usually turned them over to someone else in the American community, but we hated to do that. We had waited three months for them, and disliked the fact that someone else would get to wear "our" new clothes. When things were too big, I often wore them at school anyway, taking them in where needed with an inexperienced needle and thread. But things didn't always go wrong; sometimes when things arrived,

. The Wish Book Cont. on Page 13

We never knew what we were going to get until the box arrived. Sometimes items were out of stock.

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The Paper

Letters to the Editor Cont. from Page 7

First off, I wish to cordially welcome our new writer for The Paper, Michele Ivy Davis. Her true cover story called "The Land" (1/28/21) was beautifully written! In addition, God has richly blessed her with such a beautiful smile! As with our precious Friedrich Gomez, I look forward to seeing more of Michele Davis' writings. On another topic, I was very disappointed to read the negative comments in a "Letter to the Editor" (2/4/21) labeling all White people as racists, merely because we happen to enjoy the gift of laughter which we innocently derive from the Chuckles section of The Paper. For someone to arbitrarily judge and label all of us as: "Old, White, gun-toting, flag waving, misogynist, racist, MAGA hat wearing, xenophobes," is in itself a horrible racist labeling against all white people. I'm all for equality and fair treatment in this country, but in the same token, I refuse to bow down or answer to anyone who demands that I explain "White Privilege." My granddaughter was confronted with me in public and asked to explain her White Privilege and I blew my fuse. "She doesn't need to explain ANYTHING to you!" was my angry reply on her behalf.

If a white racist is a person who supports our police because I'm of the opinion that most are good police -- then yes, I'm a racist. And If my family and I are racists because we believe that rioters and looters are not 'peaceful protestors' but in fact are criminals -- then yes, I'm a racist. I honestly don't know what this country is coming to, but I stand firm behind my flag, my country, and the God-given belief that most Americans are innocent until proven guilty. And believe it or not, that includes white people. I don't speak for anyone but myself and my family and these comments only represent my opinions - and no one else. /s/From Arlene Ann Tibbets, Social Club, family and many friends. Escondido, Poway, Vista, San Marcos, and Oceanside. Yet Another Fan

Editor/Publisher Lyle E. Davis:

Just now finished reading this week's cover story in The Paper on Military Helicopters and Their Tribal Names by your writer Frederich Gomez. Absolutely brilliant and insightful! This is why I'm addicted to your weekly magazine instead of just perusing the internet for my news diet. I don't know what to expect in The Paper from week to week and I don't want to risk missing out on such exclusive reporting.

Page 10 • • February 11, 2021

Mr. Davis, as your records show, my very first email to you was almost exactly 4 months ago today (Oct. 20, 2020) and now I'm a diehard fan and regular letter-writer to The Paper! I have a few personal questions that you don't have to answer, but I'm just curious from what my many military friends have shared with me. (1) Sir, were you a newspaper war correspondent during the Vietnam War? Was that your start in the newspaper business? Editor’s Note: Yes, I was a war correspondent covering the Vietnam War; No, I had written a column prior to that while at Fort Sam Houston, Texas.; (2) Sir, did you yourself fly combat helicopters or are you licensed to fly any fixed wing aircraft? Editor’s Note: No, I did not pilot a combat helicopter but was a passenger in them often; yes, I am a licensed private pilot, but not active. (3) Sir, someone told me you used to manage a radio station owned by Dick Clark? Seriously? What was that like? Editor’s Note: Yes, KGUD in Santa Barbara, CA. Most enjoyable experience.  He was a good man. (4) Rumor or Truth: Sir, did you also serve as Entertainment Director for the U. S. Troops overseas, including managing a Polynesian Dance Revue Show? Editor’s Note: No, I was Entertainment Director for Brooke Army Hospital and presented many stage shows as producer and emcee; we often featured Polynesian Dancers. Mr. Davis, if even a fraction of this is true, I'm very impressed with you, and your valuable service for our U. S. Military Troops overseas. One more item: Keep Frederich Gomez, cause sir, he's like bottled lightning. Trust me, a lot more people are fans out here, they just aren't letter writers. Thank Frederich Gomez for mentioning Oceanside U. S. Marine Corps, First Battalion in this week's cover story. "First to Fight" -- Ooh Rah!

Oh, one more item, my friends all say that we love your Joke Column in The Paper. Anyone who doesn't like to laugh, well sir, they just ain't true Americans. That's all. Semper Fidelis. -From Geoffrey T. Lane, North San Diego County. From an Anonymous Fan (Who is Known to Me) . .

Excellent article by Friedrich regarding the naming of US military equipment. Not only did Friedrich explain the rest of the story he raises the question of yet another story behind the "rest of the story"...that is, when we allow history to be forgotten we lose perspective, context and understanding. I also found the statistics on participation in the military by tribal members to be very eye opening.

Social Butterfly Cont. from Page 8

and will welcome visitors pending approval from state and county authorities. For more information, visit the museum website at www.vchistory.org or contact the museum by mail, email at museum@vchistory.org or by telephone at 760.749.2993. A volunteer responds to all inquiries. The Valley Center History Museum is located at 29200 Cole Grade Road, Valley Center, CA 92082.

Mission Federal Credit Union Raised $215K During Holiday Giving Fundraiser - Mission Fed Credit Union, San Diego’s largest member-owned, not-for-profit, fullservice financial institution exclusively serving San Diego County, raised $215,000 during a monthlong Holiday Giving Fundraiser. The funds raised will benefit three community partners. The Jacobs & Cushman San Diego Food Bank, San Diego Rescue Mission, and The Salvation Army San Diego County will each receive a portion of the funds raised. The nonprofit organizations were presented with a check on Tuesday, January 12th at Mission Fed’s top performing branch in Rancho San Diego. Debra Schwartz, President and CEO of Mission Fed, said, “Throughout the pandemic, the credit union industry has again proven that we are first and foremost a community-driven financial services industry.” She added, “We are in unprecedented times. I strongly believe as a dedicated corporate and community citizen, we are blessed to be able to support these three community partners who are doing so much to help San Diegans in need.” Mission Fed gives money back into the communities of San Diego and helps hundreds of non-profits each year. Banking at Mission Fed means doing good for San Diego. The Jacobs & Cushman San Diego Food Bank and its North County

Pet Parade

Tamlin (711392) is a handsome fellow who will be happiest as an indoor/outdoor cat! This 2-year-old enjoyed being king of the castle during his short stay in his previous home. But Tamlin did display some wanderlust and got a bit frustrated with being conf i n e d indoors, so he will greatly benefit with the option to explore outside in a safe yard. Proper confinement will be required for a few weeks prior to letting Tamlin out and about. During that time, he’ll enjoy playing with wand toys and he may even play fetch with tiny toy mice! Tamlin will enjoy having the ability to go outside to roam and come inside on his terms. If you find Tamlin as irresistible as we do, please make an appointment today to speak with an adoption counselor at our Escondido Campus at sdhumane.org/adopt!Fee3 ncludes spay/neuter, current vaccinations, permanent microchip identification, a certificate for a free veterinary exam and an incentive for pet insurance from MetLife.

Food Bank chapter comprise the largest hunger-relief organization in San Diego County and are continuing food distribution programs during the Covid-19 crisis to the people they serve every month and those affected by the crisis. The Food Bank’s 200 food distribution sites throughout San Diego County are continuing to operate for families and seniors to receive food assistance during the crisis. Before the COVID-19 impacted the San Diego community, the Food Bank provided food assistance to 350,000 people per month – about 11% of San Diego county. Since mid-March, when the county declared a state of emergency, the Food Bank is now feeding an estimated 600,000 people per month due to soaring unemployment and COVID-19’s devastating impact on our local economy.

Since 1955, The San Diego Rescue Mission has lovingly addressed the needs of men, women and children experiencing homelessness by sharing the Good News of Salvation and providing a holistic approach to rehabilitation and recovery. The organization will provide some of the 100,000 meals hungry and homeless people need over the next three months for just $2.05/per meal. “The Rescue Mission is deeply blessed to be named a community partner by Mission Fed Credit Union for its Holiday Donation Fundraiser,” said Donnie Dee, President and CEO of San Diego Rescue Mission. “The fundamentals of our mission are based on safe shelter, warm clothing, essential health and hygiene items, education, and work training. Our programs are designed not only to meet the immediate, tangible necessities of those who come to us in need, but also to address the underlying issues.” The Salvation Army is dedicated to Doing the Most Good, working

. Social Butterfly Cont. on Page 11

Pet Parade

Nell is pet of the week at your Rancho Coastal Humane Society. She’s a 3 year old, 21 pound, female, Chihuahua / Dachshund mix (ChiWeenie). Nell and her three puppies were stray before being taken to a rescue in the Imperial Valley. They were transferred to Rancho Coastal Humane Society through the FOCAS (Friends of County Animal Shelters) program. She’s shy, but ready to start her new life.

The $145 adoption fee for Nell includes medical exam, spay, up to date vaccinations, registered microchip, and a one-year license if her new home is in the jurisdiction of San Diego Humane Society’s Department of Animal Services. For information about Adoption by Appointment or to become a Virtual Foster log on to www.SDpets.org.


The Paper

• Page 11 • February 11, 2021

A Weekly Message from the Mayor of Your Community published in the belief that it is important for elected leaders to communicate with their constituents and that constituents have a means of hearing from their elected leaders.

San Marcos • Mayor Rebecca Jones

Vista • Mayor Judy Ritter

Stay in the know on San Marcos construction updates

If you’ve driven through the San Marcos Creek area lately, you’ve seen first-hand the progress City construction crews are making on the Creek project, which began active construction in March 2020.

Beginning in the fall of 2020, several other projects started active construction in and around the Creek area. To make it easy for you and other members of the community to find out what’s happening and when, the City worked with other public agencies and private developers on a map highlighting major construction projects in the area over the next two years. The City will update these maps as project timelines progress and more information is available. While these projects are starting construction now, each one went through a comprehensive planning and review process. To view these construction projects and learn more, visit www.sanmarcos.net/departments/development-services/planning and click on “San Marcos Construction Updates.”

Escondido • Mayor Paul “Mac” McNamara

I Heart Vista!

Valentine’s Day is nearing, so let’s talk about love.

Over 30 years ago, I fell in love with Vista. The warm, welcoming spirit, the small town sense of community, the beautiful views, the proximity to our beaches and mountains, and the very individuality of the city. I raised my family here and loved experiencing our many parks and hiking trails, the Moonlight Amphitheatre, and the local venues with my children. Many memories have been made with my children and grandchildren over the years in this remarkable city. Vista has grown, since I first arrived, and now I love exploring our quaint and unique shops in our downtown core and meeting local business owners. Most of all, I love the opportunity to help build a sense of place for our community for generations to come!

The Pastor Says...

four concrete steps that can help us heal these types of distresses. Starting March 4, New Song Community Church is offering the community a fiveweek journey through these four steps – a journey to recover from the emotional trials of 2020.

Greetings Escondido,

While there are other irons in the fire, the past few weeks touched on the big priorities. As we move forward on them, I will update you.

This week, I would like to share with you some thoughts on COVID enforcement. Recently, the city sent out and hand delivered to a number of restaurants a letter laying out our enforcement policy. During the court case appeal process, our enforcement hands were essentially tied. And sadly, some restaurants took full advantage of that much to the consternation of other competitor restaurants following the rules and observers. We are not trying to make it so hard that restaurants go under, and so our policy has been a measured one of education and warnings. That policy has worked well until recently. Everyone tried to comply with rules that seemed to change with each passing day. And to the community’s credit, a lot of folks supported our restaurants and small businesses. So, my message today to the small businesses is - don’t make it harder than it needs to be. Please comply with the rules. And to the patrons of those businesses, send a signal by not supporting those businesses who are flagrantly violating the rules. Stay informed, Be Kind, Remember your neighbor, and Stay safe! Semper Fi, Mac Paul P. McNamara Mayor of Escondido pmcnamara@escondido.org

Social Butterfly Cont. from Page 10

together to holistically meet human needs without discrimination. Programs are designed to combat homelessness, hunger, provide safe spaces for kids, help adults achieve and maintain sobriety, and give hope to our most vulnerable neighbors. With more people facing hardships, the need to serve those most vulnerable is greater than ever.

About Mission Fed Credit Union They are San Diego’s largest member-owned, not-for-profit, full-service financial institution exclusively serving San Diego County. Mission Fed has in excess of $4 billion in assets, over 260,000 members, 32 convenient branches, 30,000 fee-free CO-OP ATMs nationwide and free Mobile and Online Banking Services. They enhance the lives of its members through financial education andfinancial services such as Checking, Savings, Loans, Credit Cards, and

Insurance. They give money back into the communities of San Diego and help hundreds of non-profits. To learn more, visit www.MissionFed.com.

We’re all a little beat up from recent events. But we can heal! Pastor Hal Seed, New Song Community Church, Oceanside American’s Current State of Depression

Would it surprise you to learn that seven out of ten of us are depressed right now?

During normal times, 40% of Americans are depressed on any given day. But these times are far from normal. Surveys show that figure has risen to 70% since the beginning of Covid-19. According to the folks at Gallup, and others, seven out of ten Americans admit they are experiencing depression, anxiety, and feelings of loneliness. Concrete Steps to Deal with Anxiety and Depression: Surveys are also showing there are

Check presentation photo L to R: Jim Floros, President / CEO Jacobs & Cushman San Diego Food Bank, Donnie Dee, President/CEO San Diego Rescue Mission, Debra Schwartz, President / CEO Mission Fed Credit Union, Lee R. Lescano, Lt. Colonel/Divisional Secretary for San Diego County Salvation Army, Doug Wright, CFO Mission Fed Credit Union

Social Butterfly Cont. on Page 12

Pick up

You can begin recovery from depression, anxiety, isolation and other mental troubles. During these five weeks of Changes that Heal, you’ll learn skills, gain new insight, connect with others, find hope, and start a new direction out of the mental and emotional effects of all that has been happening around us. Dates: Thursday nights from 6:30 to 8:00 p.m. on March 4, 11, 18, 25, April 1. Place: New Song Community Church, 3985 Mission Avenue, Oceanside, CA Register online at www.newsongchurch.com. The class is free.

For more information, call New Song at 760.560.5000 and ask to speak with our Changes That Heal Team. Help is here!

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The Paper

Page 12 • February 11, 2021

Hill.” To understand the scale of AMD’s ascendency, it helps to review the history of these two giants of the PC industry.

Paul & Nome Van Middlesworth, The Computer Factory

www. thecomputerfactory.net "San Diego's Best Computer Store 2015-2020" Union Tribune readers poll

AMD’s latest Ryzen CPUs destroy Intel’s ten year old “i” series CPUs.

At The Computer Factory we don’t build new PCs with Intel’s “i” series CPUs (i-3,5,7 9) any more. We don’t stock new Intel motherboards or CPUs and we no longer stock Intel based PCs as finished goods. The reason is simple. None of our customers ask for Intel based PCs these days because Intel is no longer the price or performance leader in the PC industry. There simply has been no demand from our business and home customers for new Intel based PCs since mid-2020. Today AMDs Ryzen CPUs are “King of the OBITUARY

For most of the past forty years Intel held the lead in CPU performance technology while AMD was the value leader. Gamers, film editors, design engineers and most business, government and educational institutions used the higher performance Intel based workstations. For less stringent applications, AMD was cheaper and typically provided better value or “more bang for the buck.”

In 2001, AMD’s Athlon series of CPUs overtook Intel’s Pentium IV series giving AMD the CPU performance lead for the first time ever. By 2006 AMD CPUs were the choice in 50% of all new PCs. Then, in 2007, Intel regained the performance crown with the Core2 Duo They followed up in 2019 with the “i” series of CPUs. Intel and the “I” CPUs maintained performance leadership over AMD for the next decade. By early 2018, Intel CPUs were used in 80% of new PCs with AMD holding the remaining 20%. In 2018 Intel stock traded at $60 and AMD shares were valued at under $13. Then, in 2017, AMD introduced the “Ryzen” CPU series and took the CPU performance crown back from Intel. AMD slowly at first and then at an accelerating pace, began to take market share from Intel’s aging “i” CPU series. In January 2021

they later immigrated to Riverside, California.

Vern worked with Security First National Bank, before pursuing a career in Dentisty. In 1965, his daughter, Tracy was born. While raising two children, Vern worked at the Admissions office of Loma Linda Hospital, at night, and worked towards his degree. He graduated with a DDS from Loma Linda in 1974, and soon moved back to Vernon, B.C. with his family. Vernon Lloyd Blaney, DDS July 3, 1940 January 30, 2021

It is with great sadness that we announce the passing of our beloved Vernon Lloyd Blaney, on January 30, 2021.

Vern, as he was known to us, was born on July 3, 1940, to Sadie and Robert Blaney, in Vernon, British Columbia. He married his high school sweetheart, Bernadette Genovy, in 1960. He started a career in banking, at The Bank of Nova Scotia in the village of Lumby, where he was raised. Their son, Curtis was born in 1961, while they were living in Vancouver, and

Dr. V. L. Blaney, as he became known, professionally, practiced there for 10 years, before he and Bernie moved back to Southern California. Dr. Blaney purchased a practice in Escondido and enjoyed serving the needs of his patients for 29 years, retiring in 2006.

In his spare time, Vern enjoyed golf, tennis, fishing and flying. Vern took great delight in the wonders of nature, the company of animals, and his family. He is survived by his wife of 60 years, Bernadette (Genovy) Blaney, his children, Curtis Blaney of B.C., Canada and Tracy (Blaney) Tessler of Oregon. His grandchildren include Jaclyn Bonner and Garrett Blaney of B.C.,

AMD rocketed past Intel to again lead in new PC sales market share. Today Intel’s stock still trades around $60 but AMD has soared to the $90 range. In addition to losing market share to AMD in Windows PCs, Intel took another “gut punch” when Apple, maker of about 10% of the World’s PCs, announced that beginning in 2021 they will manufacture their own CPUs ending a fourteen year relationship with Intel. During that period Intel supplied 100% of the CPUs for Apple PCs.

With “refurbs” it’s an entirely different story. In “refurbs” the preferred CPU is still the Intel “i” series. 95% of the PCs (notebook, desktop and All-in-one) we sell are enterprise or commercial style “refurbs” and 90% of those have Intel “i” series CPUs. Refurbs typically become available as governments, schools and corporations

replace their PCs on regular, budgeted three to six year cycles. Since the Intel “i” processors were the performance leaders during that period, nearly all enterprise “refurbs” are based on Intel “i” CPUs. For the overwhelming majority of PC users, these “refurbs” are by far the best value in PCs today. When you stop by bring your existing PC in for a free trade–in estimate. We give you cash credit when you trade-in your old PC on a refurb or new PC. Who else does that? Next week we’ll discuss the process of determining exactly what form factor and specification best meet your requirements in a “refurb” and how and where to get what you need. We will also discuss the process of developing a specification for a new PC designed especially to meet your high end requirements.

845 W. San Marcos Blvd., San Marcos, CA.

Simone and Hannah Tessler of Oregon, and Saige Tessler of Australia. Great grandchildren include Ellie and Evie Bonner of B.C. We will miss his perseverance during challenging times, his adventurous spirit, and that mischievous sparkle in his eyes. A virtual memorial will be arranged for a future date.

Social Butterfly Cont. from Page 11

Encinitas Friends of the Arts Asks For Your Support on Two Items Thank you Essential Workers: In partnership with the City of Encinitas Parks, Recreation and Cultural Arts Department, Encinitas Friends of the Arts (EFA) is pleased to release a set of banners, created by local artists, to thank frontline workers who have courageously worked to keep the community safe during the Covid-19 pandemic. Artists Kirsten Francis, Deanne Sabeck, Patricia Frischer, Naimeh Woodward, and Sean Hnedak created the banners and are members of EFA. The banners will be displayed at prominent locations such as Encinitas Blvd., Via Cantebria and at the Encinitas Library. In an effort to express our gratitude and love we invite you to submit a drawing, a poem, or some encouraging words and love to our amazing health care workers and frontline people as part our Thank You Banner project. Please send your message of hope to Encinitasarts@gmail.com and once they have been reviewed for content they will be posted on our website and available for all to see. This is a small but important gesture and one way the arts can step forward to serve our community. We hope you join us. EFA is located at 441

Social Butterfly Cont. on Page 13


SERVICE DIRECTORY The Paper

Social Butterfly Cont. from Page 12

Saxony Road, Encinitas,CA 92024.

Help Save the Cardiff by the Sea Sign (published by San Diego Visual Arts Network). The last week of January during the heavy wind storm, the Cardiff-by-the-Sea sign, located on the corner of Birmingham and MacKinnon, was blown over. We're in danger of losing the iconic Cardiff-by-the-sea visual art piece if we don't raise the fund to refurbish it. The sign has been associated with Cardiff-bythe-Sea's identity for several decades. Restoring it to its original condition will allow us to save this artistic and beloved part of the charm and vibe of our Cardiff-bythe-Sea community. Please consider joining me in sharing our campaign with your email and social media lists and consider making a donation. Cardiff Main Street 101 is working with the Cardiff based San Diego Visual Arts Network as our 501c (3) fiscal sponsor so all donations are tax deductible. It is a happy welcome to the identity of our lovely community.

For Advertising Information or to subscribe, Call (760) 747-7119

The Wish Book Cont. from Page 9

they were perfect. In one of those perfect orders, we each got an entire outfit — pedal pushers (slacks that came slightly below the knee), knit turtlenecks, and pendant necklaces. I think hers were green and mine were blue. Another time I got some low-cut saddle shoes with a tiny black buckles on the back of the heels. Some of the other students said you unbuckled them if you were "available" and buckled them if you were going steady. I wasn't sure about that, so I just kept them buckled. I wore

Just the arrival of the latest catalogs at our house in Madras was an occasion to write about. In a letter to us in boarding school, my mother said, "The Sears and Wards catalogs came the other day and you should see some of the new styles!... When you get back we'll make out an order for underwear, etc. I might even send for something for you for Christmas. What would you like...?" Oh, the possibilities!

After a few years overseas, we came back home to department stores, the first shopping malls, and all things American. We could walk into a store and try on a dress. We could buy shoes that fit and not have to wait months to see if we had made a good choice. But while we were in India, the Sears and Wards catalogs were not only a way to order the necessities, they were our windows to the styles, trends, and fads of our homeland.

My family in Madras, India, in 1958. My sister Diane (top right) and I (top left) are wearing identical outfits from the Sears catalog, except mine was black and white and hers was red and white.

Chuckles Cont. from Page 7

God’s Problem Now!

His wife's graveside service was just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little, old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she’s there." •••• As I was nursing my baby, my cousin's six-year-old daughter, Krissy, came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast feed before, she was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was doing. After mulling over my answers, she remarked, “My mom has some of those, but I don't think

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she knows how to use them.” •••• Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little wistful. “In ten years,” I said, “you'll want to be with your friends and you won't go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now.

Carolyn shrugged. “In ten years you'll be too old to do all those things anyway.” •••• Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day, I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her injection. “No, no, no!” she screamed.

“Lizzie,” scolded her mother, "that's not polite behavior.” With that, the girl yelled even louder, “No, thank you! No, thank you!" •••• On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson innocently said to my son, “Dad, I know babies come from mommie's tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?” After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust, “You don't have to make up something, Dad. It’s okay if you don’t know the answer.” ••••

MURDER AT THE WALMART

Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed. A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

Chuckles Cont. on Page 14


The Mighty Mojo Page The Paper • Page 14 • February 11, 2021

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Chuckles Cont. from Page 13

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands and as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well. However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plot, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband, who was also quickly arrested. The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared ... (You're ...)

going to hate me for this

'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @

Pool Service

Restaurants

WAL-MART!'

Oh, quit groaning! I don't write this stuff, I receive it from my warped friends and then send it on to you! •••• RETIRED HEALTH MESSAGE

As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really give a rat's hiney. It's the tortoise life for me!

1.. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. 2.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat. 3.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years. 4.. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years. And you tell me to exercise? I don't think so. I'm retired. Go around me. •••• God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. 2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran. 3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart. 4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 6. If all is not lost, where is it? 7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. 8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant. 9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few. 10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

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11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids. 12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. 13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom. 14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees. 15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess? 16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . they're everywhere. 17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. 18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . .. .I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter 19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. THE MUSLIMS ARE NOT HAPPY!

They're not happy in Gaza ... They're not happy in Egypt ... They're not happy in Libya ... They're not happy in Morocco ... They're not happy in Iran ... They're not happy in Iraq ... They're not happy in Yemen ... They're not happy in Afghanistan ... They're not happy in Pakistan ... They're not happy in Syria ... They're not happy in Lebanon ... SO, WHERE ARE THEY HAPPY? They're happy in Australia ... They're happy in Canada ... They're happy in England ... They're happy in France ... They're happy in Italy ... They're happy in Germany ... They're happy in Sweden ... They're happy in the USA ... They're happy in Norway ... They're happy in Holland ... They're happy in Denmark ...

Basically, they're happy in every country that is not Muslim and unhappy in every country that is!

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AND WHO DO THEY BLAME?

Not Islam. Not their leadership. Not themselves. THEY BLAME THE COUNTRIES THEY ARE HAPPY IN!

AND THEN: They want to change those countries to be like... THE COUNTRY THEY CAME FROM WHERE THEY WERE UNHAPPY! Excuse me, but I can't help wondering... How damn dumb can you get? •••• Nobody can make fun of the Jews better than the Jews. I received this from a Jewish friend in Omaha. Jewish Haiku On Passover we Opened the door for Elijah. Now our dog is gone. Jewish Buddhism: If it be there is no self, Whose arthritis is this?

Beyond Valium Peace is knowing one's child Is an internist.

After the warm rain The sweet smell of camellias. Did you wipe your feet?

Her lips near my ear, Aunt Sadie whispers the name Of her friend's disease. Testing the warm milk On her wrist, she sighs softly. But her child is forty. The sparkling blue sea Reminds me to wait an hour After eating lunch.

Jews on safari -Map, compass, elephant gun, Chocolate candies The same kimono The top geishas are wearing: I got at Loehmann's. Mom, please! There is no Need to put that dinner roll In your pocketbook.

Sorry I'm not home To take your call. At the tone,

Chuckles Cont. on Page 15


LEGALS

The Paper • Page 15 • February 11, 2021

Chuckles Cont. from Page 14

Please state your bad news.

Is one Nobel Prize So much to ask from a child After all I've done?

Today, mild shvitzing. Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz Five-day forecast: Feh Yenta, Shmeer, Shlemiel, Shlimazl, Meshuganah. Oy! To be fluent!

Quietly murmured At Saturday Synagogue services: Yankees 5, Red Sox 3. A lovely nose ring. Excuse me while I put my Head in the oven.

Hard to tell under The lights. white Yarmulke or Male-pattern baldness. Be here now. Be some Place else later. Is that So complicated?

Drink tea and nourish life; With the first sip, joy; With the second sip, satisfaction; With the third sip, peace; With the fourth, a Danish. Wherever you go, There you are. Your luggage Is another story. A thousand miles journey Begins with a single Oy. Zen is not easy.

Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health, or a life without problems. What would you talk about? It takes effort to Attain nothingness. And then What do you have? Bupkis.

The Tao does not speak The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others The Tao is not Jewish.

Breathe in, Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will Be the least of your problems. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist.

Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical Sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness. The Torah says, Love Your neighbor as yourself. The Buddha says there is no self. So, maybe we're off the hook. ••••

Sex After Surgery A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, one Anne Maynard, has sued St Luke's hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.

A hospital spokesman replied ... "Mr. Maynard was admitted in Ophthalmology – all we did was correct his eyesight." •••• A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons, nor prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slide from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the horse's side anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune . . . Frank, the Walmart greeter, sees her dilemma, and unplugs the horse.

Letters to the Editor are always welcome. Try to keep them to 250 words or less. Email them to:

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A definition of globalization that I can understand and to which I now can relate: Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come? Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, riding in a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling), followed losely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles, treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines. This is sent to you by a Canadian, using American Bill Gates' technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that uses Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian truck drivers,

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FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9001398 The name of the business: Functional Fitness Training, located at 200 Grapevine Road Apt, 1, Vista, Ca. 92083. Registrant Information: Shavel Yang 200 Grapevine Road Apt 1 Vista, CA. 92083 This business is conducted by an individual. First day of business n/a. /s/ Shavel Yang Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San 1iego on 1/29/2021 2/11, 2/18, 2/25 & 3/04/2021

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9001251 The name of the business: NK Designs, located at 3164 El Ku Ave., Escondido, Ca. 92025 Registrant Information: Neda Nina Keshmiri 3164 El Ku Ave. Escondido, CA. 92025 This business is conducted by an individual. First day of business 12/01/2020 /s/ Neda Nina Keshmiri Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San 1iego on 1/28/2021 2/11, 2/18, 2/25 & 3/04/2021

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9001236 The name of the business: Level 5 Design, located at 975 Park Center Dr., Vista, Ca. 92081. Registrant Information: Michael Timothy Smee 29602 Platanus Drive Escondido, Ca. 92026 This business is conducted by an individual. First day of business4/01/2016 /s/ Michael Timothy Smee Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San 1iego on 1/28/2021 2/11, 2/18, 2/25 & 3/04/2021

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9001052 The name of the business: Pass ‘N Go Smog Center; Pass ‘N Go Smog; Pass ‘N Go, located at 1310 N. Melrose Dr. Suite D, Vista, CA. 92083 Registrant Information: Jorge Salazasr Camacho 1220 Woodview Dr. Oceanside, Ca. 92056 This business is conducted by an individual. First day of business n/a. /s/ Jorge Salazar Camacho Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San 1iego on 1/27/2021. 2/11, 2/18, 2/25 & 3/04/2021

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9000167 The name of the business: Monarch Grove Childcare, located at 5282 Rio Plata Drive, Oceanside, CA. 92057. Registrant Information: Melissa Lynn Barajas 5282 Rio Plata Drive Oceanside, Ca. 92057 This business is conducted by an individual. First day of business n/a. /s/ Melissa Lynn Barajas Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San 1iego on 01/07/2021. 1/21, 1/28, 2/04 & 2/11/2021

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9000667 The name of the business: FSA Design Studio, located at 2694 Medford Curt, Carlsbad, Ca. 92010 Registrant Information: Joseph Arthur and Robin Cornell de Porrasde Porras 2694 Medford Court Carlsbad, CA. 92010 This business is conducted by a Married Couple. First day of business 2/03/2017. /s/ Joseph Arthur de Porras Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San 1iego on 01/22/2021. 2/4, 2/11, 2/18 & 2/25/2021

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9000755 The name of the business: manuka, located at 1574 Casa Real Ln., San Marcos, CA. 92069. Registrant Information: Sophia Veale 1574 Casa Real Ln. San Marcos, CA. 92069 This business is conducted by an individual. First day of business . n/a. /s/Sophia Veale Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San Diego on 1/2/2021.. 2/4, 2/11, 2/18 & 2/25/2021

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #2021-9000008 The name of the business: Kimbo Pest Solution; Kimbo Pest Conrol, located at 1747 E. Grand Ave., Escondido, Ca. 92027. Registrant Information: Victor Sebastian Bernardino Perez and Odalis Bernardino 1747 E. Grand Ave. Escondido, CA. 92027 This business is conducted by a Married Couple. First day of business n/a. /s/ Victor Sebastian Bernardino Perez; Odalis Leon Bernardino Filed with Ernest J. Dronenburg Jr., County Clerk/Recorder of San 1iego on 1/04/2021 1/21, 1/28, 2/04 & 2/11/2021

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