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GAY

SAN DIEGO

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May 2 –15, 2014

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Volume 5 Issue 9

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SERVING OUR LGBT COMMUNITY

HerHRC Masquerade party returns

3 INTERVIEW

Cameron speaks

8 DINING Revelers at last year’s HerHRC Masquerade party at Gossip Grill (Photo by Connie Kurtew)

Student skills

y THEATER

Out at the Park continues to grow

Hutton Marshall | GSD Assistant Editor Each year as summer nears, hundreds from the community put on their Padres hats and jerseys — and sometimes, their boas — and head down to Petco Park to celebrate “Out at the Park.” Throughout the year, San

Passionate theater

u FEATURE

Index Community Voices.…..…4 Wedding Guide ...….….10 Calendar ….……………11 Classifieds .……………12 Sports ...............….….14

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San Diego Community News Network

ency,” answered Zimmerman. “Retention and recruitment of officers,” was Zimmerman’s answer when asked what the biggest challenge was confronting today’s San Diego’s police force, which she noted is going through a huge transition. “Almost half of our officers will be eligible to retire in the next four years,” the police chief said. “Half of our working patrol officers also have six or fewer years on our department … in some commands it’s 70 percent.” Though she said patrolling the city’s 350-square-mile jurisdiction with approximately 1.23 million people in 130-plus neighborhoods is a monumental task, Zimmerman promised it can be done if “we all work together as a team.”

see Chief, pg 9

see Masquerade, pg 16

Diego Pride seeks to create a visible, positive presence for the LGBT community, and tailgating, grabbing a hot dog, and watching the Padres play has speedily grown to become a favorite way of doing so. This year, Out at the Park took place on Saturday, April 19, when the Padres were narrowly inched out by the San Francisco Giants. But the game’s outcome is shadowed by the true reason for attending: Showing that the LGBT community, their friends and their family enjoy baseball just as much as anyone. Since 2007, Pride has partnered with the Padres to offer tickets to a special section at a discounted price through Pride’s website. They also hold a

see Out, pg 5

A show of force

New police chief holds townhall in District Three Dave Schwab | GSD Reporter

A Butch Mother's Day

Grab your masks and nighttime best and get ready for the second annual HerHRC Masquerade Party, Saturday, May 3 at Gossip Grill, located at 1220 University Ave. Hosted by HRC San Diego — whose 12-person all-volunteer steering committee spend months planning — the annual HerHRC event is not only a fundraiser for “big” HRC, it also gives HRC a fun vehicle to reach out and engage LGBT women and their allies. HerHRC events have been an ongoing initiative for nearly five years nationwide, but last year’s Masquerade at Gossip Grill’s previous location was a huge hit for the local affiliate. “It was the most successful HerHRC event we’ve ever had in San Diego,” said Danielle Bruce, membership outreach coordinator and community events co-chair for HRC San Diego. Her event co-chair is Amanda Nachman. Bruce said a great deal of that success is thanks to Moe Girton, Gossip Grill’s co-owner and general manager. “Moe has been absolutely amazing, this really was her vision,” Bruce said. “The way the event turned out with the masquerade theme … all this stuff really was her vision and I have to say it really came together last year because of her.” This year’s party has the additional advantage of Gossip Grill’s new expanded location, which will offer more room for all the exciting things they have planned. Some of the things were popular at last year’s event will return, such as the raffles, a silent auction and the date auction. One thing new this year is the inclusion of celebrities. Lesbian web series “Kiss Her I’m Famous” is in its second season online and its Director Rolla Selbak and an actor of the series, Tracy Ryerson, will both be on hand to introduce the series to San Diego. Bruce said Selbak plans to bring a DVD with 55 minutes of scenes from the web series all mixed in that they will have looping on all the TV screens throughout Gossip Grill. “When HerHRC reached out to me and the ‘Kiss Her I’m Famous’ cast about being a part of the 2nd annual Masquerade Party, I believe I actually squealed,” Selbak said.

LGBT baseball fans attend San Diego Pride’s 2014 Out at the Park event. (Photo by Jim Winsor/SDPix)

Pride to expand the ‘Out’ series at county fair

The force was with Hillcrest April 28, as San Diego Police Chief Shelley Zimmerman and her staff descended on the LGBT Center en masse for a town-hall style meeting. With upwards of 30-40 police officers, including top staff and division heads, on hand to listen and support their new police chief, Zimmerman addressed a full auditorium. Self-professed workaholic Todd Gloria, City Council president and District Three’s representative, introduced San Diego’s new police chief — the 34th in the City’s history and its first woman — noting Zimmerman was even more dedicated than he. “It’s her birthday today,” he said. Not a sports fan himself, Gloria pointed out that Zimmerman, a Cleveland, Ohio native, is “the world’s biggest Ohio State fan,” her alma mater. Claiming he has “the best council district in the city,” Gloria then pointed out District Three and the LGBT community, “have some unique needs and concerns.” Zimmerman thanked the packed auditorium for the “fantastic turnout,” noting it “reaffirms how committed all of us are and shows all of us care as one community wanting to make

things better.” “We are going to embark on a journey together to make San Diego the safest large city in the nation,” Zimmerman said. The new police chief said city law enforcement under her direction is committed to spending “every single second of every single day” honoring the words written on patrol cars which say, “America’s finest.” “Those are not just words, they are our core values,” Zimmerman said, adding that one of her top priorities is to ensure people feel safe wherever they live throughout San Diego. The police skipper also pledged openness and transparency and promised to listen as well. “We want to hear the community’s concerns about our department either positive or negative,” she said. “We want to improve our relationship with all our communities.” Zimmerman spent more than a half hour fielding audience questions about a plethora of topics, everything from homelessness and racial and gender profiling to texting and distracted driving, bicycle safety and alleged sexual abuses committed recently by police officers. “It’s all about reassuring our public that we are committed to transpar-

Morgan M. Hurley | GSD Editor

Police Chief Shelley Zimmerman (Courtesy City of San Diego)


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FEATURE

GAY SAN DIEGO May 2–15, 2014

The Ladies Shoes Blues Revue (Courtesy Sue Palmer)

The Ladies Shoes Blues Revue Sue Palmer & Laura Jane +8 take on Gator Jen Van Tieghem | GSD Reporter “The only time we’ll all be together is the actual gig.” Sue Palmer, San Diego’s reigning Queen of Boogie Woogie, was in the middle of gushing about the all-female group she’s assembled for Gator by the Bay when she dropped that little tidbit. With 10 musicians coming together from both in and out of San Diego, it’s no wonder they’ve had to practice in sections in advance of the upcoming fourday festival. While they haven’t managed to rehearse as a group, they’ve all dedicated countless hours to bring The Ladies Shoes Blues Revue to life. The idea for the show started when Peter Oliver, producer of Gator by the Bay, contacted Palmer about performing. “[Oliver] asked me to do something different this year,” Palmer explained. “He wanted something big … with a horn section and several lead singers … so then we had to figure out who, and that was an interesting process.” Bringing together members of Palmer’s own band, known as the

Motel Swing Orchestra, along with other local and out-of-town talents, she ended up with a group she’s very enthusiastic about. The lead singers include Missy Andersen, Laura Jane (The Tighten Ups and ThunderLux), and Deejha Marie, who each bring with them bits of rock, soul, and R&B. “The three singers have been practicing together with harmonies,” Palmer said. “And it’s sounding fabulous.” San Diego locals April West (trombone) and Elizabeth Meeker (trumpet) are joined by award-winning multi-instrumentalist Deanna Bogart (saxophone) to comprise the horn section. Palmer enticed Oakland-based Carmen Getit (guitar) to join by having Oliver book her band Steve Lucky & the Rhumba Bums to play the festival. And local powerhouses Jodie Hill (bass) and Sharon Shufelt (drums) round out the rhythm section. Palmer herself will serve as bandleader and pianist, and may have other tricks up her sleeve. Once all these celebrated players were in place, the next step was to choose what songs to perform.

“It’s kind of a Mardi Gras/ New Orleans-y kind of festival,” Palmer said. “So I tr y to slant my material to that side of my repertoire. We’re doing some songs I would normally do with my band and then I asked ever ybody to suggest songs. “It’s all working and they all selected songs that we’re really excited about,” she said. While Palmer is keeping the song choices under wraps, she explained that through the process she had to go out of her own wheelhouse and learn some new numbers. Since musicians have different ways of playing the same song, the ladies also had to get on the same page regarding how to play certain selections. All the hard work and careful attention to detail should pay off as this ensemble of talents comes

gay-sd.com together for a truly special event. “I’ve played [Gator by the Bay] at least 10 times … it’s got that spirit of New Orleans,” Palmer enthused. “I pretty much block off the whole weekend so that I can go to it too, not just when I’m playing.” She plans to see what she considers “all the best bands” of rhythm and blues, country, swing, Cajun, zydeco and other genres all in one place. “It really makes me proud of my city,” she said. “It’s just a wonderful way to start out our summer season.” Of course, what Palmer is most passionate about is having The Ladies Shoes Blues Revue come together for the event. “I’m really excited about this project because everyone is really talented and every time we have a rehearsal, it adds a new element,”

she said. “I think people are going to be pleasantly surprised.” Gator by the Bay will be held Thursday through Sunday, May 8 – 12 at Spanish Landing, located on Harbor Drive across from the San Diego International Airport. Catch the Ladies Shoes Blues Review when they perform on Saturday, May 10 at 2:20 p.m. on the Mardi Gras Stage. For tickets and the full lineup, visit GatorByTheBay.com. —Jen Van Tieghem is a San Diego native who covers all genres of music around town. Her bucket list includes playing tambourine on stage with any band that would have her, creating a local music festival called Jenerated Sound, and finding the perfect Moscow mule. Email her at Jen@SoundsinSanDiego.com.t


ENTERTAINMENT

gay-sd.com

Cameron Diaz: The real thing Actress on being called ‘bisexual,’ mom fetishes and her disappointment in the ladies Chris Azzopardi | Q Syndicate Cameron Diaz is all about breaking the rules ... especially when someone else is breaking them too. Strutting into a room at the Four Seasons at Beverly Hills, the actress surveys the space and lugs an oversized sofa chair to the opposite corner where she gets comfortable, her slender legs curled behind her, heels still on. In person, Diaz really is the sweetest thing, but don’t cross her. At least not in “The Other Woman,” where the actress, along with Leslie Mann and Kate Upton, serves some nasty shenanigans to a lover she learns is secretly married. (And because you need that sassy colleague to give you sage advice on getting even, Nicki Minaj co-stars.) For this gay press exclusive, the actress recalls the faux lesbian action on the set of “The Other Woman,” clarifies statements she made regarding her sexuality (don’t call her bisexual), and advises the ladies to “step it up a little bit.” Chris Azzopardi (CA): Recently I was at the gay club and they played that unforgettable sing-along from The Sweetest Thing: “The Penis Song.” Cameron Diaz (CD): No way! That’s so awesome. (CA): When you did that song with Selma Blair and Christina Applegate in 2002, did you ever think the gays would still be dancing to a song about penises this many years later? (CD): Not at all, but I guess we should have figured! We should’ve guessed that. It’s quite obvious. (CA): Because the penis is timeless. (CD): [Laughs] Exactly. The penis is timeless. (CA): Because of its girl-power fierceness, “The Other Woman” aligns itself with “Nine to Five,” “Sex and the City” and “The First Wives Club.” Why do you think gay men in particular are so drawn to these movies? (CD): These women are underdogs. In “Nine to Five” it was really about discrimination. Gays and lesbians know what it’s like to be discriminated against, to be the underdog and to have to fight to be seen. That’s something that could be relatable. It’s that feeling of beating all the odds and

pushing through, and continuing to go on even though you get beat down and you feel like you can’t possibly make it through. (CA): Going back, what movie of yours do you attribute to the beginning of your gay following? (CD): I don’t know! (CA): How about “Being John Malkovich” from 1999? (CD): Because Lotte! I mean, of course! Lotte found out who she was. She was self-realized and empowered by it, and that’s what I really loved about her – her recognizing herself and honoring herself, and no matter what she just kept going until she was able to fully express herself. (CA): Actually, Lotte sounds a lot like you. In the last few years you’ve been expressing your own sexuality with honesty and openness, saying in interviews with Glamour UK and Playboy that just because you’re sexually attracted to women doesn’t mean you’re a lesbian. The Kinsey Scale actually suggests that everyone is a little bisexual. Is that what you believe too? (CD): What I really think is a problem is that for some reason everybody needs to label. There needs to be a label for something, and you have to qualify it with a label. If we didn’t put these labels on ourselves, I think we would probably live in a much better society. We would just let people be who they are and we wouldn’t have to define them. Over the years I’ve known people who are male who love women, who want to be in a relationship with a woman, who want to raise a family with a woman, who have that relationship and that’s where they want to put their energy — but they also are sexually attracted to men. And just because someone’s sexually attracted to a man he has to choose whether he wants to be with a woman or a man, and vice versa with women. Women may want to have a relationship with a man, and to raise a family with him, but may also be sexually attracted to women. Because we have to label it, because we make people choose who they want to be, people aren’t happy. They’re ruining relation-

Cameron Diaz (Photo by Berry Wetcher/20th Century Fox) ships and friendships and marriages, and they’re feeling like they can’t have all sides of themselves. They feel like they have to choose. If we just allowed people to be themselves and to be open to it and not have to be absolute one way or another, life could be really full. (CA): This view of sexuality seems to be a recent trend, and now people often refer to themselves as “queer” because it’s more indefinable. (CD): Right, right. But does sexuality really define a person? Who you’re sexually attracted to — does that define you as a person? It’s just a part of who you are. Does who you love define who you are? It doesn’t. We need to see ourselves in the full spectrum of the human being. (CA): Since making these statements about your own sexuality, people have tried putting you in a box.

see Interview, pg 5

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GAY SAN DIEGO May 2–15, 2014

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GAY SAN DIEGO May 2–15, 2014

COMMUNITY VOICES

Mindfulness: How to rewire your brain MICHAEL KIMMEL LIFE BEYOND THERAPY Mindfulness has been in the news lately, celebrities tout it and Oprah loves it; but, what exactly is it? And is it worth your time? Let’s check it out: Recent studies in neuroplasticity (our brain’s ability to adapt and rewire itself) indicate that mindfulness is a powerful tool you can use to literally rewire your neural pathways. For many years this territor y “belonged” exclusively to spirituality and Buddhist meditation. But now, science had jumped in with its opinion: mindfulness works! Need more proof that mindfulness is practical, applied science? Silicon Valley has become a hotbed of mindfulness conference and classes. Google has an in-house mindfulness program called “Search Inside Yourself.” Even General Mills — that bastion of conser vatism — has trained over 500 employees in mindfulness classes. To be mindful is to be aware of what’s going on inside us: mentally and physically. We notice what we’re thinking and feeling and tr y not to judge it. Just notice it. It sounds simple, but it’s not easy. Mindfulness isn’t all about rainbows and happy stuff: we can be mindful of sorrow, pain and anger. Being mindful doesn’t mean that we become like a big blob of “it’s all good.” It’s about sharpening our awareness of how things really are and not ignoring or distorting reality. For example, what do you do when something painful happens? Let’s say, you are rejected by a potential date/employer for a date/job you really wanted. A typical response could be: • I really wanted that. • I feel so disappointed and angr y. • I don’t like these feelings. • Maybe I should call my friends and go out for a few drinks so I’ll feel better. • I don’t want to feel these feelings of rejection. • It hurts. Mindfulness encourages us not to numb out with alcohol, drugs, food or any other avoidance technique. Instead, we can be mindful and see what happens. In that case, your conversation with yourself might go more like this: • I really wanted that. • I feel so disappointed and angr y. • Okay, let me just feel these feelings. I know it won’t kill me.

• I can sit quietly, take a few breaths and just notice how I feel. • Actually, it’s not so bad. In fact, I don’t need to run from these feelings. • I know they will pass. They’re here now and I’m okay with them. It’s quite a different way of handling something, isn’t it? Mindfulness is about being present in the here-and-now. It’s the opposite of living in the past or the future. If you’re living in the past, you’re either missing something that happened or regretting something that happened. Either way, you’ve checked out; you’re not present. If you’re living in the future, you’re probably bored in the present. You may even tell yourself that your life right now isn’t exciting enough, and you should be doing something about it. But the truth is, you probably won’t be happier, even if you get it. If you can’t be happy now, it’s highly unlikely that some future event is going to change that for you. The only happiness is in the present moment and, if you’re not aware/mindful of this moment, you’ll miss it. In fact, the more you numb out, the more you’re missing your life. Mindfulness encourages you to enjoy EVERY moment as much as possible. Even pain has lessons, and when we’re willing to feel the pain in the present moment and learn from it, the pain passes more quickly. Psychologist Jon Kabat-Zinn uses mindfulness to help people with chronic physical pain. His program at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center has become so successful that hospitals worldwide have embraced the use of mindfulness to work with physical and emotional pain. I really like Kabat-Zinn’s work (I’ve read his books and listened to his CDs) so here is my suggestion on how to practice being more mindful: Sit comfortably and tr y to keep your back relatively straight. Close your eyes and pay attention to your breath. Focus on it going in and out of your body. As thoughts come into your mind, just notice them — “Hello thoughts” — and return to your breathing. Let the thoughts be like clouds passing by. When your mind wanders — and it will — gently bring it back to your breathing. Start out doing this for a minute at a time, and slowly add a minute each day. Give it a tr y and see how you feel. Don’t be surprised when you start to feel calmer, more confident and more present. —Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia. Michael is currently accepting new clients. Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit lifebeyondtherapy.com.t

gay-sd.com

Getting Bigger! Getting Better! Don’t you just love it when a plan starts coming together? South Bay Pride Art & Music Festival is getting bigger and better! This year we are going to have two beverage gardens with food and two stages with live music as well as DJ’s for twice the amount of the time. We’ve also extended the hours this year and we’ll run from 12 – 10 p.m. South Bay Pride is eager to show off our local talent and is recruiting local musical acts that will highlight the richness of our music scene in the area. As an art and music festival, we are ecstatic to be able to extend the time and the number of acts we’ll be able to showcase so that it is a “can’t miss” music festival. Our Art in the Park exhibit goes from Noon – 6 p.m. and we are expanding the number of artists involved, too. Not only are we are taking applications from local artisans to exhibit their works, but also working with the local universities and colleges to bring in even more emerging artists. Art of Pride in the Park is the program that sponsors local LGBTQ artists’ work and provides our juried selected artists exhibition space for free at South Bay Pride Art & Music Festival during the Art in the Park exhibit. We are proud to continue our support of the fantastic local artists and encourage the up and coming artists. The afternoon will not only have live music and art along with our food and beverage area, great vendors and exhibitors, but water sports will also now be available. We will have kayaking, paddle boarding and jet skis to show off the amazing recreational opportunities here in the South Bay. In addition, we are expanding

the children’s entertainment section to include water inflatables for the young. And to meet the needs of Kids of ALL ages, we are bringing in a bungee jumper and (hopefully) rock climbing wall.

DA E E L L I OT T

SOUTH BAY ALLIANCE Then the nighttime entertainment starts at 6 p.m. — Out in the Park after Dark, oh my! We are recruiting notable local recording artists and DJs that will focus toward the adult crowd and cutting edge, alternative music with bands, DJ’s and dancing. Of course, our great vendors, exhibitors, food, and beverages will continue along with the music and dancing until 10 p.m. for a fantastic nighttime party at the Bayfront Park. It will be the place to be for Saturday’s festivities. On the more practical note, we have changed our vendor/exhibitor space to be canopied so that there is

more uniformity and the morning set up goes more smoothly. There will be even more vendor/exhibitors this year as we are expanding the area of Bayfront Park that we are using. We have been successful in raising enough funds so that we are able to keep the festival FREE and courting some really exciting national branded sponsors. Stay posted in the coming months for even more updates. I want to thank the Port Authority of San Diego who have been very supportive as well as our sponsors: San Diego Pride, McFarlane Promotions, and Bella Dia Marketing and Design, for providing the early seed funds to move forward with. Without our sponsors and the individual donations of our supporters, we could not make this wonderful festival happen and grow year after year. Thank you so much for your generosity. For more information and online applications for vendor/exhibitors, Art in the Park, Art of Pride in the Park, musical acts or volunteering, please visit SouthBayPride.org. — Dae Elliott is a sociologist and lecturer working at SDSU since 1994. She is one of the founding executive committee members and current chair of South Bay Alliance, a 501(c)3 nonprofit organized in 2006 with the purpose of building a coalition of the LGBT community and allies for social networking, business promotion and political awareness in South San Diego County. South Bay Alliance has been the organizer of South Bay Pride Art & Music Festival since 2007. Contact her at southbayalliance@gmail.com.t

heCenter events attheCenter tuesday, May 6

Food Bank 9-10:30 am, the Center The San Diego LGBT Community Center hosts a distribution site once a month for the Community Cares Project of the San Diego Food Bank. On the first Tuesday of every month, visit The Center’s parking lot for emergency food. For more information, visit the San Diego Food Bank website. http://sandiegofoodbank.org.

thursday, May 22

harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast

Wednesday, May 7

7:30 am, hilton Bayfront

Guys, Games & Grub

Join us for the Sixth Annual Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast and help us celebrate the legacy of this influential civil rights activist. Attended by more than 1,000 people, businesses, groups and organizations annually, this San Diego event is the largest Harvey Milk celebration in the state of California. Don’t miss it! Buy your tickets today at www.HarveyMilkBreakfast.com. For the latest details, find us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ harvey.Milk.Diversity.Breakfast.

6:30 pm, the Center Join us for Guys, Games & Grub with host Ben Cartwright! Meet new friends while enjoying snacks, food, and drinks for only a $5 donation to Men’s Programming. On the first Wednesday of every month, nearly 200 men of all ages (21+) gather at The Center for a night of games, pizza, drinks and socializing. Some of San Diego’s most interesting men are here – come join them. For more information, contact aaron heier at aheier@thecentersd.org or 619.692.2077 x211.

www.thecentersd.org The San Diego LGBT Community Center 3909 Centre Street • 619-692-2077

Twitter: @LGBTCenter

facebook.com/At.The.Center


gay-sd.com FROM PAGE 3

INTERVIEW (CD): Yeah. (CA): The press is saying, “Cameron Diaz is bisexual.” But it sounds like you don’t want to put yourself in that box? (CD): I don’t. People get uncomfortable (when you don’t). I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but it’s a beautiful thing that we can appreciate beauty in other women. I think that’s amazing. If they’re confident in themselves and know who they are, heterosexual men can look at another heterosexual man and go, “Yeah, he’s pretty hot. He’s a sexy man.” (CA): And you have said you can do the same with the ladies. (CD): Of course. (CA): Could you see yourself in a relationship with a woman, though? (CD): That’s not at all what I said. That’s not what I was saying. That’s what people are (saying). What I’m saying is that I can appreciate the beauty of another woman. I’ve said this forever: I think women’s bodies are beautiful – all shapes, all sizes. Every part of a woman is beautiful and that’s something that we’ve celebrated culturally throughout history. (CA): And men, as well. I mean, how about those Greek gods? (CD): Exactly. Greek gods! You go to Florence and you see da Vinci and you go, “Oh, of course – this is a celebration of the body.” So, I feel like saying that is just stating something that’s obvious. People get weirded out when you bring in sexuality, when you say “sex,” when you say you find someone else sexually attractive – because people feel like they can’t control that! That if for someone reason they find somebody sexually attractive they’re going to lose all control of themselves and they’re going to question themselves and not know what it is. It’s not black or white. There is a spectrum. (CA): If a lesbian were to stop you on the street and reference one of your movies, which scene

ENTERTAINMENT/COMMUNITY VOICES do you think they would point to? I mean, you fucked a Ferrari – that, I’m sure, was enjoyed by many a lesbian. (CD): Yeah, that’s always a good time. (Laughs) But I don’t know. It’s hard to tell. I’ve played so many different characters, and I don’t want to just generalize that all lesbians like the same kind of woman (smiles and points to herself). And there’s a lot to choose from! Everybody has different “preferences.” (Laughs) (CA): Your girl crush in 2006 was Pamela Anderson. Have your tastes changed at all? (CD): Who do I have a girl crush on? (CA): Leslie Mann? (CD): Leslie is just seriously one of the loveliest human beings. But I don’t know right now if I have a girl crush! I haven’t taken a second to look around because I’ve been working so much. Honestly, I think the girls need to step it up a little bit. I’m disillusioned with all the Botox and all the filler and all the fakeness. I really love a natural beauty, something that you can celebrate. (CA): Diane Keaton, Annie Lennox and Annette Bening are all aging naturally. (CD): They are, because they’re self-possessed. (CA): So, as you age, you’re not interested in plastic surgery? (CD): No. It can be done well, but what I see with the women who do a lot of it is, the objective is to look younger, but they just start to look different. They don’t necessarily look younger, but they do look different. I don’t think that I would ever want to look different. I don’t know if I could look into the mirror and be OK with seeing somebody other than myself. (CA): The idea of being a cartoon version of yourself isn’t appealing? (CD): I did a little bit (of plastic surgery). I tried it out, and that’s what disturbed me. I didn’t look like myself. It scared me. I didn’t look younger. I just looked different. (CA): If you could team up with two of your gay friends to get back at a man who wronged

you, a la “The Other Woman,” whom would you pick as your gay sidekicks? (CD): Oh my god, for sure my friend Brad (Cafarelli). He’s my publicist and would be perfect because he’s so clever and stealthy. He’s just super keen. He doesn’t miss a detail. And he sees it all! I want him on my side for anything. And he’s hot. I would also say Teddy (Bass), my trainer, who is just fearless and could crawl into any space and get anything done. (CA): According to your co-star Kate Upton, there was some lesbian action happening behind the scenes of “The Other Woman.” (CD): (Laughs) What did she say? (CA): That there was a lot of butt pinching. (CD): Oh yeah, yeah, yeah! (CA): Feel free to elaborate. (CD): We actually just did a very funny AOL “Unscripted” thing that just went off the rails. It was so funny. (CA): Was it lesbianic? (CD): Yeah, totally. Like, full-on hilarity. But yeah, (what happened behind the scenes) wasn’t lesbian as in making fun of. It was putting it in a way that, you know, it’s ... (CA): It’s playful? (CD): It’s playful, exactly. Thank you. Totally playful. But Leslie (Mann) has this thing with butts, and it’s because she has daughters. As a mom she’s all like “goochy goochy goo,” “squeezy, squeezy, squeezy” and she’s always pinching their tooshies. So Kate and I, when her kids weren’t around, we got all the “squeeshy, squeeshy, squeeshy” and all the pinching and all the grabbing. (Laughs) (CA): So that’s as lesbian as it got? (CD): It’s more like mom nurturing. It’s more like moming. And, you know, some lesbians might find “mom-ing” really hot! —Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www.chrisazzopardi.com.t

FROM PAGE 1

OUT

huge tailgate in the parking lot beforehand, with plenty of food and drink donated by Urban MO’s. This year, the section spread across 900 seats, and tickets didn’t last long. “We’ve never sold out this quickly,” said Fernando Lopez, Pride’s public affairs director. “Usually people kind of wait till the last week or even the day before. We sold out a month before the event, which was crazy. Then we managed to find 100 extra tickets in our section and those were gone in four days.” Lopez said the Padres have long been supportive of helping Pride create a visible, welcoming space at these games. The cameramen are quick to throw the usually colorful crowd up on the jumbotron, especially when Pride’s giant rainbow flag emerges in the section. No ill will was reported at this year’s game, Lopez reported, but he also said that Pride’s first Out at the Park in 2007 wasn’t wholly without controversy. The U-T San Diego reported on a relatively unsuccessful boycott at that first game, where approximately 75 Christian conser vatives congregated outside the stadium holding signs such as “Homo sex is a sin” in an attempt to deter people from attending the game. Only about 1,600 of the 42,685 seats in the stadium were unfilled that evening, a sign that few if any were actually deterred. “It’s just funny to see how far we’ve come in just seven years,” said Lopez, who now feels the full support of the Padres and the community at large behind pride at the annual game. The San Diego Women’s Chorus (SDWC) had a successful night of their own this year, getting the opportunity to sing the National Anthem at Petco Park for the ver y first time — a dream for many members of the chorus, said its president Carin Scheinin. “It was fantastic,” said Sheinin, who joined the SDWC in 2002. “It was one of the greatest experiences that I’ve personally had in the chorus.”

GAY SAN DIEGO May 2–15, 2014

5

This was also Sheinin’s first year to sit in the Out at the Park section and experience the game amid the boas and rainbow flags that make the section a jumbotron favorite. She said Pride events like this show that the LGBT community is just another positive, fun-loving part of the community that values family and a good baseball game. “It says to people that we’re as all American as anyone else,” Scheinin said. “I think the more people see that ‘here’s this group of people that are just here to have fun and enjoy a day out at baseball like ever yone else,’ the better.” Following the success of Out at the Park, Pride will take to the San Diego County Fair this year to hold the first “Out at the Fair” on June 14. It was actually the county fair that reached out to Pride to suggest incorporating another “Out at …” event into the unofficial “Gay Days” event the fair had held the last few years, which Lopez said fit perfectly with the idea of creating an LGBT presence in fun, family-friendly places in San Diego. Pride has already been partnering with local LGBT organizations to create a free space for nonprofits at the event. A series of local LGBT artists will be featured across two of the fair’s stages that day as well. But the opportunities to promote a visible, family-oriented LGBT community doesn’t stop there, said Lopez. He envisions “Out at the Zoo” and “Out at SeaWorld” — if the controversy dies down, that is — as possible future events. “I think there are a lot of other venues that our community participates in — and it’s not just pride, and it’s not just bars and clubs — there’s a multitude of interests across the spectrum of the LGBT community,” Lopez said. “Whatever we can do to create an inviting and welcoming space for that, whatever your interests might be, I think that’s the long term goal.” Visit outatthefairsd.com or sdpride.org for more information about “Out at the Fair.” t

BUSINESS SPOTLIGHTS

GEORGE SAADEH’S WURTS INTERIORS 1851 San Diego Ave. Suite 100A, San Diego, Ca 92110 619-293-3131 | wurtsinteriors.com

It began as Wurts Contract Furnishers, Inc. in San Francisco, Calif. back in 1937. Established by Harold C. Wurts, the interior design company supplied residential and commercial interior design products such as floor coverings, bedding, appliances, office furniture, and window treatments. He moved the business to San Diego in 1955. In 1974, he sold the business to George and Carolyn Saadeh. The Saadehs brought vast floor covering experience from family-owned and operated carpet mills on the East Coast. The business was renamed “Wurts Interiors” that year. Over the years, George has known and worked with many San Diego leaders, icons, and local organizations such as the Lion’s Club Downtown. He is proud of the reputation he and his business have maintained by providing honest savings and outstanding work in a timely and efficient manner. George Saadeh’s Wurts Interiors is a full-service boutique interior design showroom with unique, hand-selected products that enables each customer to receive a true one-stop-shopping experience. George and his team treat each customer like family by providing personalized service that the warehouse stores just can’t: owner George Saadeh is personally involved with every job, big or small. Elegance, luxury, sophistication and style are the hallmarks of Wurts Interiors, and are why George Saadeh’s Wurts Interiors is the only choice for interior design. If you want quality products with honest everyday savings, visit George Saadeh’s Wurts Interiors.


6

OPINION

GAY SAN DIEGO May 2–15, 2014

gay-sd.com

Letters

Kudos to SDSU's president I agree with Robert DeKoven’s letter about SDSU’s new president [See “Opinion: Letters,” Vol. 5, Issue 8]. Big kudos to president Elliot Hirshman for making the LGBT Center at SDSU a priority. DECADES of work under previous presidents, and then within 1 1/2 years of being at SDSU, Hirshman made this a reality. Excellent! — Benny Cartwright, via gay-sd.com

Sandor PrEP opinion met with backlash Mr Sandor: The fight against HIV is replete with well-intentioned individuals who spread misinformation [See “Editorial: Why PrEP is a failure,” Vol. 5, Issue 8]. As a reporter, I covered many of them. I will assume for the sake of argument that you are in fact well intentioned and not just trying to shill sex instruction pamphlets that you lack the credentials to be publishing. Which really is my point here, I guess. You have not a single credential upon which to establish any form of expertise. No PhD, no MD, really no healthcare background at all other that being a patient. And a patient does not an epidemiologist make. You cavalierly jaunt around the Internet suggesting that others with such credentials are on the take, while you organize sex parties where HIV-UB2´s can screw in ignorant bliss thinking themselves barricaded safely away from the virus. You claim 100 percent efficacy for something that is dependent on not just one set of human factors, but two or three or more people (as in your sex parties). Not even condoms claim that kind of real world efficacy. So one must ask — where are your peer reviewed studies that bear out your claims? Did you publish them in JAMA and I just missed it? While we may agree that many of the organizations that work with HIV/ AIDS have lost their way, it is not because they are rejecting your serosorting elixir. If you truly believe in prevention, you should be encouraging every tool to be brought to the table, and PrEP is one such tool. Though I have vast disagreements with the approach you are advocating, I do think that components of it are useful. Informing others of your HIV status if you are positive is one of them. But for that to happen, we cannot stigmatize the

see Letters, pg 7

Editorial We write to express our profound concern over an editorial published in your magazine on April 18 under the byline of Robert Brandon Sandor. [See “Why PrEP is a failure,” Vol 5, issue 8] Titled “Why PrEP is a failure,” it is spectacularly rife with inaccuracies. We are sufficiently concerned to welcome this chance, as discussed, to offer a rebuttal. Supporting links appear throughout the text and are additionally listed in a short bibliography at the end. First and most importantly, contrary to Robert’s claims, PrEP has not failed. To clarify the point at issue, PrEP – “pre-exposure prophylaxis” – is the acronym for a daily medical regimen, FDA-approved since July 2012 for this purpose, to prevent infection with HIV, the human immunodeficiency virus that is the proximate cause of AIDS. Various studies, summarized here,(1) demonstrate that taken as prescribed, it is 99+ percent effective at preventing infection. There is no known case of anyone adherent to the regimen getting infected with HIV while on PrEP. Not one. This is hardly what a rational observer would describe as failure. Any such characterization reveals a staggering lack of information at best, or deliberate deception at worst. ACT UP is the nation’s oldest and most powerful AIDS advocacy group, and while we’re fully aware of the sometimes toxic debate on the subject, our position is clear: PrEP works. It’s not the only arrow in the prevention quiver by any means and may very well not be right for everyone, but it is rather obviously difficult to argue with what amounts to universal efficacy. This is not an abstract, academic debate. In the most recent year for which the agency provides reliable data, CDC estimates new HIV infections(2)in the United States at around fifty thousand. Of these, 63 percent result from maleto-male sexual contact.(3) Looking only at males, the figure PUBLISHER David Mannis (619) 961-1951 david@sdcnn.com

DIRECTOR OF SALES & MARKETING

EDITOR Morgan M. Hurley (619) 961-1960 morgan@sdcnn.com

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Kathleen Allen (619) 602-1341 kathleen@sdcnn.com

ASSISTANT EDITOR Hutton Marshall (619) 961-1952 hutton@sdcnn.com

Terrie Drago (619) 961-1956 terri@sdcnn.com

PRODUCTOIN MANAGER Rebecah Corbin (619) 961-1961 becah@sdcnn.com PRODUCTION ASSISTANT Vincent Meehan (619) 961-1961 vincent@sdcnn.com

Mike Rosensteel (619) 961-1958 mike@sdcnn.com

Sloan Gomez (619) 961-1954 sloan@sdcnn.com Jerry Kulpa (619) 961-1964 jerry@sdcnn.com Yana Shayne (619) 961-1963 yana@sdcnn.com

for same-sex transmission is 78 percent. African-Americans make up 30 percent of that number, Latinos, 21 percent. Men 35 and under account for 62 percent. Between 2008 and 2010, the rate of new infections among gay/bi/trans men grew a staggering twelve percent, while declining in every other at-risk demographic. In plain English, 2.4 percent of us get newly infected with HIV ever y year – for now, because that percentage is increasing. To remedy these apocalyptic numbers, presuming for the sake of argument he is aware of them, Robert suggests one remedy and one alone: a “desire to remain [drug and disease] Free by having safe sex with their own HIV status.” This because “PrEP is a total failure and a worthless effort to cash in on an untapped cash cow — our HIV-negative gay youth. I will not tolerate this.” How entirely splendid of him, given that presently “HIVnegative gay youth [are] required to become HIV+ and hooked on ‘meth.’” Which is of course altogether terrible, or would be if there were any validity in any rational universe to this particular helping of word slop, and that this heinous nonpractice contravenes “a freedom of choice issue and a legal right supported by the U.S. government.” In the event of confusion, interested parties are encouraged to consult Robert’s recently “published” book on the matter, the ironic proviso being that “published” in this instance shouldn’t be read as implying the existence of a “publisher,” “editing,” “fact-checking,” or other comparable — and clearly outdated — niceties common to actual publishing. It should go without saying that no one is forcing HIVnegative youth to do much of anything, certainly not to acquire either an incurable disease or a destructive drug habit. The best anyone can do is offer sound advice based on observable facts, whether we like these facts or not. The first fact is that it’s not 1983 anymore. We know

SALES & MARKETING INTERNS Hillary Hudson Michael Kean

ACCOUNTING Priscilla Umel-Martinez (619) 961-1962 accounting@sdcnn.com CONTRIBUTORS

Chris Azzopardi Charlene Baldridge Dae Elliott Tristan Higgins Michael Kimmel Jeff Praught Frank Sabatini Jr. Dave Schwab Jen Van Tieghem

WEB DESIGN Kim Espinoza espinozawebworks.com kim@kespinoza.com

OPINIONS/LETTERS Gay San Diego encourages letters to the editor and guest editorials. Please email both to editor@gay-sd.com. Include phone number and address for verification. We reserve the right to edit letters and editorials for brevity and accuracy. Letters should be no longer than 350 words in length unless approved by staff editors. Letters and guest editorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher or staff. SUBMISSIONS/NEWS TIPS Press releases and story ideas are welcome. Send press releases, tips, photos or story ideas to morgan@sdcnn.com. For breaking news and investigative story ideas contact the editor by phone or email. DISTRIBUTION GAY San Diego is distributed free, biweekly, every other Friday. COPYRIGHT 2014. All rights are reserved.

enormously more about HIV and treating it than we once did. Someone can be infected with the virus and be virtually uninfectious to anyone else. When in doubt, ask, it’s free. The second fact is that about one in five of those infected do not know their actual status, and that there is still a time lag of several weeks between getting infected and registering a positive test result. An HIV test does not register whether or not the virus itself is present in the body, only the presence of antibodies to it. A negative test result does not always mean that a given individual is in fact uninfected. Medically, persons are most infectious to others during this phase, usually called “acute HIV infection. “To find a test site near you, go here(4). Men who are sexually active should get tested every three to six months. The third fact is that, again whether we like it or not, that condom adherence is not — actually never has been(5)— universal. The good news is that the prevention arsenal now contains more tools and options(6) than you may know about. HIV is no longer an automatic death sentence. It is however incurable. And it is and probably always will be a huge pain in the ass. On the bright side, nobody says that infection is inevitable for anyone, gay or straight, cis or trans, and if you are infected, odds are you have a long life ahead of you. So take charge. Get tested.(7) Find California HIV/AIDS resources.(8) Or just stick to San Diego itself.(9) The reach number for the San Diego LGBT Center is 619-692-2077, call them, they love company. Volunteer. Fall in love. Michael Bouldin ACT UP New York Actupny.org / @actupny Editor’s Note: For access to the clickable links that are embedded throughout this opinion piece, visit us on gay-sd.com.t

3737 Fifth Ave. Suite 201 San Diego, CA 92103 (619) 519-7775 www.gay-sd.com

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OPINION/NEWS

gay-sd.com FROM PAGE 6

LETTERS positive through segregative approaches that divide our community along HIV lines. Holding HIV— status up as a badge of honor by extension brands those who are positive with the gay scarlet letter. Are they damaged goods? What will you say to those young HIV—’s when they become infected in a moment of humanity? When you disinvite them from your sex parties? When they can no longer march in your parades? You offer them nothing but shame and self-loathing. The world is not free of HIV, and no matter how well you screen at the door, you can never offer anyone an HIV free alternate reality. I was someone who sero-sorted. A young and, frankly, lucky HIV— UB2. The HIV positive community did not fail me, the person who passed it to me did not know their status. And therein lies the problem. You cannot know your status from day to day. Even month-by-month would be difficult. Most people test once or twice a year. Twenty percent of those who are HIV positive do not know their HIV status and are responsible for over 50 percent of new infections. The human tendency towards denial makes it difficult to find this elusive group. Your program does nothing to counteract those motivations, rather it incentivizes denial. PrEP has not failed, we don’t have the information to make that judgment, and you certainly lack

GAY NEWS BRIEFS A NIGHT WITH NAVA Acclaimed author Michael Nava released “City of Palaces” this year, his first novel in 14 years touching on a historic and dramatic period of Mexico’s history interweaved with European colonialism. On May 2 from 6 to 8 p.m., Nava will hold a special reception at the San Diego Foundation, the official launch party for the novel. It will feature hors d’oeuvres, a hosted bar and a reading by Nava, who will then engage in a meet and greet session with attendees. The San Diego Multicultural LGBT Literary Foundation and the San Diego Human Dignity Foundation will co-host the event, with Council President Todd Gloria, Councilmember David Alvarez and School Board President Kevin Beiser serving as the honorary hosts. Tickets for the event are $50 dollars, and include a copy of “City of Palaces.” Visit mylgbtfoundation.org/ events or call 619-291-3383 for more information. OUT AT THE GLOBE RETURNS On May 29, The Old Globe will be hosting OUT at the Globe, an evening for gay and lesbian theater lovers and the whole LGBT community. For an additional $20 on top of the price of the night’s theater ticket, guests can enjoy two drinks from the

credentials to make such a claim. Beyond that, I suggest that you change your wording a bit regarding your HIV status. No one was diagnosed HIV positive in 1983 – because there was no HIV antibody test. That did not happen until 1985. If you were diagnosed in 1983, it was with GRID or AIDS, meaning that you had opportunistic infections. If you were symptomatic in 1983, you are rare indeed to have survived, and the CDC must know you on a first name basis. In other words, though you may be positive, I doubt you were “diagnosed” in 1983. It is a nice year to choose, in that no one then knew what was happening. They were innocent victims. The rest of us have to own our failings and admit that we made mistakes and became infected even though we knew how to avoid it. That is the story of the nearly 50,000 people a year who are infected. Aggressive testing, encouraging those who are positive into treatment and employing harm reduction techniques is the best and most valid approach for prevention. And PrEP clearly has a role in that. Sero-sorting among the HIV— crowd is a dubious approach at best. —Timothy P Holmberg, via gay-sd.com The fact that Mr. Sandor opens this piece of fiction with this line – “Since the mid-1990s and to this day, the HIV-negative community has stopped the spread of HIV simply by physically breaking the cycle of new HIV transmissions.” – is enough to conclude he’s woefully misinformed and the entirety of his knowledge on this subject is nil. Stopped the wine and martini bar, delicious appetizers and a pre-show mixer. Everyone is welcome to attend. Guests will have the option of attending one of two plays that evening; either “Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike,” or “Dog and Pony.” “Vanya” is the hilarious winner of the 2013 Tony Award for Best Play, as the farcical story of reunited siblings torn apart when one is intent on selling their family home. “Dog and Pony” is a world premiere musical comedy romance which tells the story of a woman who falls in love with her screenwriting partner. OUT at the Globe begins at 6:30 p.m. and is located in the Craig Noel Garden just adjacent to The Old Globe’s main plaza Theater shows start at 8:00 p.m. Tickets to both events can be bought online at theoldglobe.org, or by calling (619) 23-GLOBE.

A BENEFIT FOR MISS GAY GOLDEN STATE CONTENDERS On May 3, the promoters of Miss Gay Golden State USofA will hold a benefit show for Miss Gay Golden State USofA, Mokha Montrese and her first alternate, Alina MallettiGalore, at Bourbon Street San Diego. All proceeds from the show will go to benefit Mokha and Alina as they move on to represent San Diego at the official Miss Gay USofA pageant in Dallas from May 21 – 23. Since beginning in 1986, Miss Gay Golden State USofA has grown into one of the largest pageantry systems in the United States. It showcases contestants and entertainers from

spread of HIV? Are you kidding? Or just seriously deluded or misinformed? There has been no stop to the spread of HIV. In particular, HIV infection rates among young gay men and MSM have been going up (and continue to going up), not down. Please, for the love of sanity, research some basic CDC stats before you write an op-ed. From the CDC: “After new HIV infections among men who have sex with men (MSM) peaked in the mid-1980s at more than 75,000 new infections a year, the number of new infections plummeted to less than 18,000 per year by the early 1990s. Unfortunately, after years of steady progress, new infections again began to rise among MSM throughout the 1990s. While in recent years, prevention efforts may have helped stabilize infections, they are occurring at far too high a level (29,800 per year). Additionally, young MSM are the only risk group in which new infections are increasing.” cdc. gov/nchhstp/newsroom/HIVFactSheets/Progress/Trends.htm —Matt Hill Comer, via gay-sd. com Editor’s Note: We received over a dozen online responses to Robert Sandor’s piece, as well as many shared on our Facebook page. We also received additional updates from Mr. Sandor himself. We could not share them all here. If you haven’t seen the original PrEP OpEd piece from Sandor, or the responses to his piece, please join in this important and controversial dialogue at gay-sd.com or our Facebook page. t all facets of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities with nearly 50 contestants competing for the title of the top female impersonator in the United States of America. Beginning at 9 p.m., the show will include entertainment by Montrese, Malletti-Galore, Ladonna Monroe, Kalane Neors, Katrina Duall, April Showers and many more. A raffle will also be drawing two tickets to see Iggy Azalea in concert on May 17. Bourbon Street is located on 4612 Park Blvd.t

Hillcrest Newsstand

Featuring San Diego’s best collection of hard to find international magazines! We also carry all your favorite local & national publications, as well as souvenirs, snacks and lotto tickets!

529 University Ave.- Hillcrest (619) 260-0492

GAY SAN DIEGO May 2–15, 2014

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8

DINING

GAY SAN DIEGO May 2–15, 2014

gay-sd.com

(top) Miniature desserts from the school’s pastry lab; (below) Short rib papardelle; Egg-topped risotto with vegetables; (left) Chef-instructor Mariela Magoni (Photos by Frank Sabatini Jr.)

School’s in session DINING WITH FRANK SABATINI JR.

L

ocated barely a stone’s throw off the beaten dining track, The Palette easily ranks as one of San Diego’s most undiscovered restaurants. For the past several years, those in the know have found their way to the second floor of The Art Institute of California-San Diego in Mission Valley, where students from the school’s culinary programs run both the kitchen and front of the house. The food is oftentimes remarkably executed, with locally sourced ingredients captured in dishes priced at about 30 percent less than what you’ll pay in mainstream restaurants. The dining room spans elegantly along a wall of windows with ample seating and minimal décor. At one end is a video screen, which was showing footage of Italy to correspond to the afternoon’s menu theme. On the opposite end, floor-toceiling glass panels expose a large, industrial kitchen, allowing diners

to witness the passionate energy that goes into cranking out lunch (11 a.m. to 1 p.m.) and dinner (5:30 to 8 p.m.) on Wednesdays and Thursdays. The schedule continues until June 11 and resumes on July 22, but on Tuesdays and Wednesdays instead. During any given semester, about 25 students are fulfilling their practicum at the restaurant. Some are completing associate programs; others are moving on to earn bachelor degrees. With the exception of cheese, they make everything from scratch — the breads, pasta, stocks, sauces, desserts, etc. In the absence of alcohol, there is nonetheless a daily mixologist assigned to invent a “mocktail” such as the fresh lemonade infused with cucumbers and pureed grapes that we found irresistible. A grilled vegetable salad ($7) arranged meticulously on a rectangular plate flaunted a colorful train of spring vegetables dressed

in citrus-pomegranate vinaigrette. Creamy polenta ($5) incorporating mascarpone was also ravishing. My vegetarian lunch companion ordered it topped with tomato-carrot-mushroom ragu in lieu of the lamb offering, yet the outcome was equally rich and savory. The soup du jour ($5) was poured tableside, a luxuriant chicken stock thickened with cream and roux cascading over an organized circle of orecchiette pasta with pulled poultry and veggies in the middle. It exceeded in flavor and presentation most pottages I’ve had in fine-dining establishments. An entrée of risotto ($8) crowned with vegetables, shaved Parmesan and a poached egg was a lesson in balanced textures. The arborio rice was sufficiently al dente as it mingled with the par-cooked organics and oozy egg yolk. In dishes like this, where the main ingredients must be tenderly cooked along the way, a few extra chefs in the kitchen play to our advantage.

The only misstep in the meal was the slightly undercooked carrots strewn throughout my short rib papardelle ($10), though so easily forgiven considering this is a “lab” where trial and error leads to perfection. As far as pasta dishes go, it was nonetheless stellar. The parpardelle were light and supple and the meat was flavorsome and beautifully braised. Red wine and rich veal stock tied it all together. In commercial restaurants, the entrée would sell for no less than $18. Revenues from The Palette cover food costs, while tips (yes, you should leave one) go to a culinary scholarship program for students in need. As expected from a school boasting a serious pastry program and baking equipment, our desserts were marked with the non-cloying finesse belonging to French techniques. From a

7650 Mission Valley Road

858-598-1405 Lunch or dinner: $5 to $12

sampler plate, we delighted over fruit Napoleon; basil-Limoncello panna cotta; budino with hazelnut crumble; and tiramisu spiked generously with espresso. Menus rotate weekly. And though not required, the restaurant accepts reservations, likely taken by a student grooming to excel in today’s competitive dining industry. —Frank Sabatini Jr. is the author of “Secret San Diego” (ECW Press), and began his local writing career two decades ago as a staffer for the former San Diego Tribune. He has since covered the culinary scene and other subjects for various print and broadcast media outlets in the area. You can reach him at fsabatini@san. rr.com.t

For Advertising call:

Sloan Gomez

(619) 961-1954 sloan@sdcnn.com


DINING/NEWS

gay-sd.com

GAY SAN DIEGO May 2–15, 2014

BY FRANK SABATINI JR. The Cadillac of all food events to benefit Mama’s Kitchen takes place from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m., May 9 at the Hyatt Regency La Jolla. Now in its 23rd year, “Mama’s Day” will feature more than 55 local restaurants and caterers putting their best foot for ward with an array of gourmet food samples. Participating businesses include D Bar, Great Maple, Uptown Tavern, R Gang Eater y, Gossip Grill, Wang’s North Park, Hillcrest Brewing Company and more. The event will be emceed by Sam “The Cooking Guy” Zien and feature a silent auction. General admission is $125; VIP tickets are $250, which include early admission at 5:30 p.m. and access to The Cabana Lounge inside the venue. Tickets can be purchased through the web site at: mamaskitchen.org or by calling 619-233-6262. 3777 La Jolla Village Drive. San Diego chef Mike Alamos is up and running with his first-time restaurant venture, Circa, in the space formerly occupied by Farm House Café. Fresh paint, new upholstery and a “whole tree” used as the bar top now define the space. The menu, which Alamos describes as “local, rustic, comfort fare,” features several dishes incorporating craft beers, such as bratwurst braised in pale ale, meatloaf draped in red ale gravy and an apple-caramel dessert spiked with smoked porter. A variety of small plates are also available as well as savory skillet dishes served during Sunday brunch (9 a.m. to 2 p.m.). Alamos has upped the cool factor by also bringing in a “new vintage” sound system for playing vinyl records. 2121 Adams Ave., 619-269-9152. Restaurateur John Ealy says that there wasn’t an empty table in the house on his first Friday night in business at Harley Gray Kitchen & Bar in Mission Hills, which opened April 22 in place of The Gathering. His menu comprises several “homeruns” from other restaurants he owns, such as The Boathouse on Harbor Island and kitchens in Maui and Santa Cruz. Those dishes include pan-fried salmon and blackened rib eye, along with new offerings like bone-in pork chops and short ribs. The restaurant was given an interior facelift and maintains its central, full bar. Harley Gray is open for lunch, happy hour and dinner. 902 W. Washington St., 619-955-8451. I recently received a few inquiries regarding the shuttered Mandarin House in Bankers Hill, as to whether it has reopened since closing in November. The answer is no. One reader in particular was confused by a Yelp review dated Feb. 7, 2014 touting the Mongolian beef. The post was apparently meant for the restaurant’s La Jolla location (6765 La Jolla Blvd.), which remains in business and features the same menu as the former Fifth Avenue kitchen. When speaking to a manager in La Jolla, he cited high rent as the reason for last year’s closure, adding that there are “no plans at this time” to open a replacement.

A tower of shellfish

(Courtesy of H2 Public Relations)

The much-anticipated Ironside Fish & Oyster opened recently in Little Italy by CH Projects, which is behind several San Diego hotspots such as Noble Experiment, Craft & Commerce and El Dorado Cocktail Lounge. In this latest venture, Chef Jason McLeod brings a seafood-rich menu to the table that includes daily offerings of oyster flights and various shellfish platters. In addition, “cocktails in the half shell” are available, which pair a single raw oyster to a libation. Situated in a circa-1920 warehouse, the 4,500-square-foot space also includes a bakery, a Europeanstyle open kitchen and a lobster tank. 1654 India St., 619-269-3033.

The “Adams Avenue skillet”(Courtesy Circa Restaurant) Wholesome breakfast and lunch fare can be found at the newly opened location of Swami’s Café, which moved into the modern-industrial digs that previously housed Casa de Luz in North Park. The menu is similar to the Swami’s in Encinitas and Carlsbad, which includes everything from acai bowls and egg dishes to sandwiches and burritos. The kitchen is open daily from 7 a.m. to 4 p.m. The owners are considering installing a full bar on the second floor, although for now, alcohol isn’t served. 2920 University Ave., 619-269-3797.

FROM PAGE 1

CHIEF

One local resident queried Zimmerman as to why curfew sweeps were only being done in City Heights. “That’s not true,” she replied. “We do sweeps in all communities.” Zimmerman said curfew sweeps are done primarily to “protect children,” many of whom she said are victims of little or no parental supervision. Someone else asked why more wasn’t being done citywide to combat homelessness and drug addiction, noting the two are “intertwined.” “We work with a lot of different agencies to provide wrap-around services,” Zimmerman said. “It’s not a crime to be homeless.” “Homelessness is more about being poor than being criminal,” Gloria added, noting a “housing-

—Frank Sabatini Jr can be reached at fsabatini@san.rr.com.t first approach” is being adopted now by the City toward its homeless population. “You first have to get people stable, and they can’t get stable if they don’t have a place to live, so you have to get them housed,” he said. Promoted following former police chief Bill Lansdowne’s resignation in the wake of multiple allegations of sexual misconduct within the department, Zimmerman, a 32-year police veteran, reiterated at the Hillcrest town hall her stance on the recent problems. “Those very few who’ve discredited this badge – we’re not going to tolerate,” she said, adding that a police badge is not merely a piece of polished metal, but a “symbol of service” standing for “integrity, honesty and professionalism.” San Diego’s 34th police chief said she was “all for” the use of cameras worn by officers to record police procedures in the interests of maintaining transparency. She also

said such cameras not only hold police more accountable for their actions but the public as well. “We’ve found the demeanor of people toward officers is greatly improved when they know the cameras are on them,” she said. “We welcome those cameras.” Zimmerman then asked the citizens in attendance to “dream big.” “Imagine the possibility of all of us, the mayor, the City Council, the city attorney, the police department and our wonderful communities working together to make San Diego the most beautiful city in the world and a place where people can raise their families and play in harmony and safety,” Zimmerman said. Following the police chief’s Q&A session, the auditorium crowd stood in unison and sang happy birthday to her. After wards, Gloria presented the new police chief with cupcakes from Babycakes to celebrate the occasion. t

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9


SAN DIEGO 10 GAY May 2–15, 2014

hotels | rings | tuxedo & dress rentals reception venues | photographers florists | cakes | honeymoons

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GAY SAN DIEGO May 2–15, 2014

gay-sd.com

Friday, May 2

SAN DIEGO PADRES: Padres take on a weekend of the Arizona Diamondbacks beginning tonight at 7:10 p.m. Tonight is the Padres Spring Beerfest. Petco Park, East Village. Tickets at padres.com

Saturday, May 3

CALIFORNIA BOOKSTORE DAY: Independent booksellers across the state participate along with readers and writers of ever y genre. The Librar y Shop in the Downtown Central Librar y and The Grove in South Park are participating. Visit cabookstoreday.com for more information. SAN DIEGO PADRES GIVEAWAY: Padres battle the Arizona Diamondbacks. Take home a Padres Beach Blanket. Game starts at 5:40 p.m. Petco Park, East Village. Tickets at padres.com “THRILL ME” OPENING NIGHT: the true tale of two wealthy college kids, Nathan Leopold and Richard Loeb, conspire to commit the perfect murder. Pre- and postperformance party included. 8 p.m. Diversionar y Theatre. 4545 Park Blvd. Tickets at diversionar y.org. 2ND ANNUAL HERHRC MASQUERADE PAR TY: Join celebrity guests from “Kiss Her I’m Famous” to celebrate HerHRC, a national event celebrating LGBT women and allies. All proceeds benefit Human Rights Campaign. Gossip Grill. 1220 University Avenue. 7 p.m. – midnight. $10 presale. $15 at the door. $30 VIP. MISS GAY USOFA BENEFIT SHOW: Fundraiser for Miss Gay Golden State USofA 2014, Mokha Montrese and her first alternative, who are on their way to Dallas to compete in the national Gay USofA pageant in late May. 9 p.m. Bourbon Street. 4612 Park Blvd.

Sunday, May 4

DOS DAYS OF FUN AT GOSSIP GRILL: Celebrate Cinco De Mayo with High&Tight Patron Margaritas for $8. $2 baja fish and beef tacos. 10 a.m. – midnight. 1220 University Ave. SHOWTUNE SUNDAYS AT LIPS: Babette Schwartz and Divettes bring you the best of Broadway musicals. 7 – 10 p.m. For reser vations, visit lipssd. com or call 619-295-7900.

Monday, May 5

DOS DAYS OF FUN AT GOSSIP GRILL: Celebrate Cinco De Mayo with High&Tight Patron Margaritas for $8. $2 baja fish and beef tacos. 10 a.m. – midnight. 1220 University Ave. SAN DIEGO PADRES: Padres meet up with the Kansas City Royals for a three-day stint, starting tonight at 7:10 p.m. Petco Park, East Village. Tickets at padres.com RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE: Ever y Monday join Chad Michaels as host of the Season 6 viewing party, starting at 9 p.m. on the big screens on the dance floor with extended happy hour. Sign up to be a Dueling Diva yourself. Two contestants will compete each week at 10:30 p.m., judged by the audience right after the show. Urban MO’s, 308 University Ave. Visit urbanmos.com or call 619-491-0400. To become a contestant, visit chadmichaels.com. AUDITIONS FOR MADONNA: Final auditions for San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus production of “Madonna.” Dancers only. 9:30 p.m. University Christian Church. 3900 Cleveland Ave. DINE IN MOVIE MONDAYS: The new Gossip Grill has a new address and a new Monday night. You can still get all you can eat spaghetti for just $5 from 6 – 11 p.m., but now you can enjoy it with a great movie inside the restaurant (patio mongers get music) and a popcorn bar starting at 8 p.m. Gossip Grill is now located at 1220 University Ave., in Hillcrest. For more info, visit gossipgrill.com. CINCO DE MAYO AT BAJA BETTY’S: Enjoy daylong festivities and drink specials, including a “Papi Hour” from 2 – 6 p.m at Baja Betty’s, 1421 University Ave.

Tuesday, May 6

LESBIAN MEET-UP: Weekly early morning business networking meeting, offering a chance to share and support each other’s business or passions. All lesbians in community are invited. 7:30 – 8:30 a.m. Caffe Calabria, 3933 30th St., North Park. SPAGHETTI & SHOWTUNES: When was the last time you had an all-you-can-eat plate of fabulous spaghetti for a mere $6? Now that’s a bargain. Plus showtunes and fun clips for your favorite TV shows. 5 – 10 p.m.

Urban MO’s, 308 University Ave. Visit urbanmos.com.

Wednesday, May 7

SAN DIEGO PADRES: Padres afternoon game against the Kansas City Royals today at 12:40 p.m. Petco Park, East Village. Tickets at padres.com Pictionar y: Come play with Tiger … and Sister Ida Know on the back patio. Match your skills, win fun prizes and raise money for good causes. 7:30–10 p.m. #1 on 5th, 3845 Fifth Ave.

Thursday, May 8

#LEZ AT RICH’S: The women are at Rich’s tonight for DJ Von Kiss, hot go go girls and lots of music. 10 p.m. – 2 a.m. Rich’s is at 1051 University Ave., in Hillcrest. For more info, richssandiego.com/lez. GAY DAYS ARIZONA: Arizona’s first ever Gay Days runs from May 8 – 12, featuring a weekend full of fun, LGBT activities. For booking and information, visit gaydaysaz.com. MALE BOX NIGHT: While the girls are playing at Rich’s the boys are invited across the street to Gossip Grill for this inaugural event, which will repeat ever y Thursday going for ward. Special menu, drink specials and rotating DJs. 9 p.m. Gossip Grill is now located at 1220 University Ave. For more info, visit gossipgrill.com.

Friday, May 9

PAINTING AND VINO: Local professional artists instruct attendees on painting a masterpiece. Tonight – “Red Heels” at Marriott Del Mar, 11966 Camino Real. Event is 6:30 – 9:30 p.m. and is 21+ up. Cost is $45, all supplies included, but registration is required. For more info, visit paintingandvino.com. HARNESS: Ever y second Friday of the month join this new monthly “gear” party. 10 p.m. Numbers Nightclub, 3811 Park Blvd. in Hillcrest. Visit Facebook.com/numbersandiego or call 619-294-7583.

Saturday, May 10

SAN DIEGO PADRES GIVEAWAY: Come watch our Padres battle the Miami Marlins and get a 10th anniversar y commemorative canvas art collectible. First pitch is at 5:40 p.m. Petco Park, 100 Park Blvd., East Village. Tickets at padres.com. KICK-UP YOUR HEELS AND DANCE: Countr y Western Night at Kickers inside Urban

MO’s has been letting those cowboys and girls swing around the dance floor ever y Thursday and Saturday for decades. All skill levels, free lessons. 7 – 8:30 p.m. Urban MO’s, 308 University Ave. urbanmos.com.

Sunday, May 11

NOT YOUR MOMMA’S CHURCH: Welcome to the award-winning Church, happening ever y Sunday at World Famous Babycakes, located at 3766 Fifth Ave. There is definitely some preaching going on here between 3 – 8 p.m. Visit babycakessandiego.com or call 619-296-4173. SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DRAG?: Join Paris, the Lips Divas crew and past performers of “So You Think You Can Drag” and see how well you can strut your stuff. $500 in cash and prizes will go to the winning amateur or professional drag artist. For reser vations, visit lipssd. com or call 619-295-7900 x5.

Monday, May 12

YOGA FOR EVERYONE: Wanting to tr y yoga but afraid to start? Check out this weekly free basic yoga class at The Center, taught by Tim Schultheis. Options available for the more advanced. 10:30 – 11:30 a.m. The LGBT Center, 3909 Centre St., Hillcrest. Contact LaRue Fields, lfields@thecentersd.org. EQUALITY PROFESSIONALS NETWORK JOB FAIR: Featuring LGBT-friendly employers, professional development workshops and networking with food and drink specials on the Catamaran’s Mission Bay beachfront lawn, 3999 Mission Blvd. 5:30 – 8:30 p.m. RSVP at epncareers2014. eventbrite.com – FREE MOVIE MONDAY: “Some Like It Hot” starring Marilyn Monroe, Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis in a wacky gender-bending comedy that was filmed at the Hotel del Coronado. 7 p.m. Free with purchase of food/drinks. Expatriate Room, Croce’s Park West, 2760 Fifth Ave., Bankers Hill. Call 619-233-4355 or visit crocesparkwest.com.

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North Park. PAINTING AND VINO: Local professional artists instruct attendees on painting a masterpiece. Tonight – “Through the Barrell” at 98 Bottles in Little Italy, 2400 Kettner Blvd. Event is 6 – 9 p.m. and is 21+ up. Cost is $45, all supplies included, but registration is required. For more info, visit paintingandvino.com.

Wednesday, May 14

PICTIONARY: Come play with Tiger … and Sister Ida Know on the back patio. Match your skills, win fun prizes and raise money for good causes. 7:30–10 p.m. #1 on 5th, 3845 Fifth Ave.

Thursday, May 15

GSDBA MIXER: Hosted by Comerica Bank, this month’s mixer offers networking, door prizes and a “Banking After Hours.” Food and drink will be provided by Amici’s, Brazen BBQ and Milagro Farm Vineyards. 6 – 8 p.m. Comerica Bank – Hillcrest, 412 Washington St., Hillcrest. $15 members, $25 guests. For tickets, visit gsdba.org. #LEZ AT RICH’S: The women are at Rich’s tonight for DJ Kinky Loops, hot go go girls and the lots of music. 10 p.m. – 2 a.m. Rich’s is at 1051 University Ave., in Hillcrest. For more info, richssandiego.com/lez. MALE BOX NIGHT: While the girls are playing at Rich’s the boys are invited across the street to Gossip Grill for this inaugural event, which will repeat every Thursday going forward. Special menu, drink specials and rotating DJs. 9 p.m. Gossip Grill is now located at 1220 University Ave. For more info, visit gossipgrill.com. —For inclusion in the calendar, email morgan@sdcnn.com.t

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Tuesday, May 13

LESBIAN MEET-UP: New weekly early morning business networking meeting, offering a chance to share and support each other’s business or passions. All lesbians in community are invited. 7:30 – 8:30 a.m. Caffe Calabria, 3933 30th St.,

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Gay San Diego

Q PUZZLE

CHAZ I WAS SAYING Across 1 Tutti-frutti ingredient 5 Lammies, e.g. 11 Peggy of Split Bitches 15 River of Memphis 16 Woman of La Mancha 17 Look intently 18 Start to climax 19 You wear it with a thong down low 20 Movie about a CIA rescue mission 21 Start of a Chaz Bono quote 24 For each one 25 Porn-watcher’s comment? 26 “Notes on Camp” author Susan 27 Areas around holes 29 Homer’s fam 31 Uninvited pool guests? 32 Ben Stiller’s mother Anne 34 More of the quote 40 Sticks one’s proboscis in 41 Stage show

43 Pool tool 48 Feeds a crowd 49 Lash out at 50 What you may do to your lover’s back 52 Workers under Dr. Torres 53 End of the quote 57 Out and then some 58 David Hyde ___ 59 Brisk pace 61 Minstrel’s instrument 62 Patty Sheehan’s position 63 Sightseeing journey 64 Vehicle for a snow queen? 65 Response of privates 66 Out of whack, off, etc. Down 1 Writer Castillo 2 How Rogers walked in _The Gay Divorcee_?

Solution on page 13 3 Clark Kent, to Superman 4 Jockey strap? 5 Take stock of 6 “___ Family” 7 Lennox, once of the Eurythmics 8 Members at a sex club? 9 Military color 10 Pitching pro 11 Gives rise to 12 ___ stay (like a long-term partner) 13 Mediterranean arm 14 Unjust acts 22 Kevin Bacon movie of the ‘80s 23 Lover with a penetrating glance? 24 Org. that uses ball-washers 28 La mer, to Debussy 29 Letter enc. 30 Gershwin and Levin 32 “South Park” composer Shaiman 33 Debussy contemporary Satie 35 Julius Caesar suffered from it

36 Talk like Gomer 37 Mauresmo’s court divider 38 What a bush that needs trimming may do 39 Become buttermilk 42 Tricky turn 43 Conspiracies that require balls? 44 Beneficial 45 Heirs split it 46 Got angry 47 Butch lesbian’s fashion accessory 48 Life’s work 50 Woes of toes 51 Soap star Susan 54 “Nick at ___” 55 Oral votes 56 Jazz singer James 60 Take a crack at


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CLASSIFIEDS

GAY SAN DIEGO May 2–15, 2014

ADMINISTRATOR

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CATHEDRAL CITY BOYS CLUB 68300 Gay Resort Dr., Cathedral City, CA 92234 800-472-0836 | pridenation.com/ccbc/

The Mission Hills Business Improvement District Board of Directors is seeking a qualified, dynamic individual to fill the Executive Director position for The Mission Hills Business Improvement District. Salary is based on experience. Knowledge of non-profits, business organizations or BIDs, communication and computer skills, marketing, social media, fundraising experience and knowledge of the City of San Diego government is necessary for the position. Please send resume and salary history to: MissionHillsBID@gmail.com Deadline for submission is May 5th at 5:00pm.

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The Cathedral City Boys Club (CCBC) is the largest clothing-optional gay men’s resort in Southern California, located just a few minutes from downtown Palm Springs. This 4-star, 3.5-acre fantasy playground is perfect for weekend getaways or extended stays. If you’re just there for the day, you can enjoy lounging by the large pool, or make your way down for a swim at the nude beach with the waterfall. The property boasts a Jacuzzi with room for eight or more, 24-hour steam rooms and saunas, the infamous dungeon, and a natural maze for lively play areas. For extended stays, you can enjoy free local calls and Wi-Fi, 24-hour check in, 24-hour coffee and snacks, and a prime location that is within walking distance to local restaurants, bars, theaters, and shopping. There are 44 luxurious rooms available, with some able to sleep up to six guests. Each contains a TV with six adult movie channels, microwaves, and in-room safes. Also renowned for their events, CCBC has been voted “favorite events resort.” In addition to several ongoing weekly events, such as Singles Night on Thursdays, CCBC also hosts BBQ & pool parties, Off-White parties, International Sex parties, and annual events, such as the Mr. Basket Contest. Whether you’re looking for a big day out, or an adventurous getaway, CBCC is the number-one choice for gay men’s resorts.

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BUSINESS & PROFESSIONAL DIRECTORY

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ATTORNEYS

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SPORTS

GAY SAN DIEGO May 2–15, 2014

JEFF PRAUGHT

DUGOUT CHATTER

‘No place in the NBA’ In a development that surprises hardly anyone associated with the National Basketball Association (NBA), the City of San Diego, or the human race, Donald Sterling is a scumbag. The billionaire owner of the NBA’s Los Angeles Clippers — the one who went against the NBA’s wishes and moved the team out of San Diego — was caught on tape making disgusting and hateful remarks that reflect his 19th century view of minorities and, specifically, African-Americans. Among his comments were disbelief that his girlfriend would be seen, in public, with black men such as Hall of Famer Earvin “Magic” Johnson, or Dodgers star Matt Kemp (though in Sterling’s words, that would depend on the exact percentage mix of his ethnicity). Note that I wrote “girlfriend.” Sterling, you see, is also married. But I digress. That these comments, which rocked the NBA late on the night of April 25 when released by TMZ and Deadspin, were caught secretly in a private setting obviously does not excuse Sterling from making them. And given his extensive history of being a racist jerk — the man has been sued for discrimination both by his former General Manager Elgin Baylor and tenants in an LA-area housing dispute — the news that Sterling is a scumbag is not really news.

San Diegans have already hated him since he moved our team before the 1984-85 season. What makes it hit home with our LGBT community is how his vile opinion tweaks us similarly in a way we were bothered during the campaign against Proposition 8. You see, Sterling may be wealthy enough to buy his way out of legal situations. He may live in an elite white society where he feels no repercussions for his actions, where reality for him is not

someone who should know the pain of discrimination hold such vile thoughts in his mind, let alone say them out loud? NBA Commissioner Adam Silver, just three months into the job after taking over for long-time Commissioner David Stern, was asked an interesting question at his April 29 press conference announcing Sterling’s punishment. A reporter asked him if, since Silver is a Jewish man himself, Sterling’s remarks affected him any greater

(Facebook.com/LAClippers)

the one you and I know. Sterling is Jewish. His ancestors spent generations suffering through bigotry and hatred. How does

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than anyone else. Silver remarked that the disgust he felt was “as a human being.” We are all frustrated when California originally voted to enact the discriminatory Prop 8 legislation that regulated who could and could not get married. But we were especially appalled to learn that the majority of AfricanAmericans supported banning gay marriage. Ring a bell? During that presser, Silver meted out the punishment: Sterling would be banned from all NBA activities, including arenas,

for life. Silver will be pushing for the league owners to vote to force Sterling to sell the Clippers, which will require 24 out of 30 owners to approve the move. He was fined $2.5 million, the maximum allowable under current NBA bylaws, and that money would be delivered to anti-discrimination charities. Of course, there will be defenders of Sterling, and not just among the racists in our world. There are those who will argue that because his comments were captured privately, they should not be used against him to bring forward punishment, because this establishes a dangerous precedent. Silver noted in the presser that this argument fails because once they became public, they were public. Now, I am no lawyer, but Silver is and he assuredly spoke with several lawyers in preparation for that question. I will assume he is covered here. Others will say that being a racist does not entitle the league to punish Sterling, regardless of how vile his positions are. They will whip out their First Amendment arguments and cry foul. They would be right in one aspect: It should not be illegal to be a moron. But the NBA is not a government entity and, given the bylaws Sterling and others owners all signed on for when they joined, the league can essentially do what it wants. Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban decried Sterling’s views, but also warned of a dangerous slippery slope if too harsh of a penalty were meted out. Smartly, he worried that owners could be booted from the league for any number of other stances. But in this instance, the owners have an economic out. In this case, that would be the vote by other owners to force him to sell. Even if First Amendment arguments do not hold up, I suspect owners will base their vote on how Sterling’s existence in the NBA would cause financial damage to the league and each

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team. Imagine boycotts of games involving the Clippers? Increased security costs. Merchandise sales dropping. At the time of the press conference, 13 sponsors had pulled their financial affiliation with the Clippers. Any sort of economic argument could be made to defend the owners’ ability to get rid of Sterling. Wealthy businessmen always prioritize money and voting someone out of the elite ownership group would not come without deep thought about how it would affect their own future and whether they were setting themselves up for any additional future risk. But have no fear, Silver will get his 3/4 majority. If he didn’t, he could make the voting results public. What owner would want news to leak that he voted to allow Sterling to remain? That would cost them where it hurts, in their wallets. How Sterling reacts to this, nobody can predict. This is a man who wanted to discriminate against black tenants in places he owned because “they smell.” He alleged that Mexicans should not be able to rent from him because they spend their entire days drinking and doing drugs. The NBA received a significant amount of backlash for not reigning him in over the previous years, as his racist viewpoints have been known since those lawsuits came out. Of course, he won the suits, and the NBA claims it could not use allegations as evidence against him. His tenure as Clippers owner has been an embarrassment. Money has always been his prerogative, as his teams’ .371 combined winning percentage since he took over during the 1981-82 season is easily the league’s worst. Baylor accused Sterling of wanting to run his franchise like a plantation, with black players working for a white coach. Black players were thought of as a commodity. The team was a laughingstock for decades until only recently becoming competitive. Kudos to Silver and the NBA for correcting a wrong, even if it was years too late. Silver did what Stern never had the gumption to do: He took a stance against discrimination regardless of the fear of legal challenges. Jason Collins, an African-American, became the first active, openly-gay athlete in a major North American sport, playing for Brooklyn this year. Sterling’s time in the NBA has long since passed. Sterling may or may not sue, but if the NBA gets its wish, he will sell. And when he does, he could net close to a billion dollars, a far cry from the $12 million he paid for the team. No matter what happens, Sterling wins. But if he does sell, the Clippers players, coaches, and everyone across the NBA win too. “We stand together in condemning Mr. Sterling’s views,” Silver said at the presser. “They simply have no place in the NBA.” If only we could get him expelled to 1750, the era he came from. —Jeff Praught is actively involved in the LGBT sports community, where he plays in the local softball (AFCSL), football (SDAFFL) and basketball (SD Hoops) leagues. He has served on AFCSL’s board of officers in various capacities and is currently the commissioner of SD Hoops. He can be reached at dugoutchatter@gmail.com. t


THEATER

gay-sd.com

CHARLENE BALDRIDGE

Mirror, mirror

B

ecause of long acquaintance and love of complexity and wit, the writer is partial to the works of Stephen Sondheim. She saw the original Broadway production of “Sweeney Todd,” in which a friend created the role of Pirelli; and she witnessed the creation of “Into the Woods” at The Old Globe not too long afterwards, staying night after night until the curtain came down. And yes, it changed quite a bit prior to its Broadway opening, which she also attended. She flew to Chicago to see “Sunday in the Park With George” and viewed the canvas at the nearby art museum. The first time she saw “A Little Night Music” she had to be resuscitated from an

overdose of ecstasy. Don’t get me started on “Company” and “Follies,” and then there are the smaller, problem musicals such as “Assassins” and “Passion,” Sondheim at his most insouciant and insightful, reaching for the dark core of humanity with its obsessions and aberrations. Hillcrest’s ion theatre company is a like observer of humanity and specializes in making audiences squirm in their seats. Currently, through May 11 only (an extension may be in the works) ion meets “Passion,” Sondheim’s 1994 opus with book by James Lapine, who collaborated with him on “Into the Woods.” Performed in one act and set in the late part of the 19th century,

15

THEATER REVIEW

(l to r) Jason Heil and Sandy Campbell (Courtesy ion theatre)

(l to r) Jason Heil and Katie Whalley (Courtesy ion theatre)

GAY SAN DIEGO May 2–15, 2014

“Passion” concerns the uncomfortable, unseemly passion of the sickly Fosca (Sandy Campbell) for Giorgio (Jason Heil), a young soldier assigned to the remote outpost commanded by her cousin, Col. Ricci (Ruff Yeager), who has cared for her ever since her first marriage ended in disaster. And did I mention that she is no raving beauty? Of late Fosca’s taken to her bed, and the kindly Dr. Tambourri (Ralph Johnson) thinks a friendship with Giorgio will fix her right up. Giorgio is pre-occupied with a love affair in Milan. His

married inamorata is Clara (Katie Whalley), with whom he exchanges daily letters. Gradually, however, Fosca’s strange love makes him realize he has never been loved so completely by anyone, and he is won over with disastrous results all the way around. The uncomfortable nature of the stor y is alleviated somewhat by the men stationed at the base, who march in militar y precision with wr y comments on life in so remote a place. This ensemble, comprising Br yan Banville, Kevin Burroughs, Andy Collins and Patrick Gates, is top notch, deftly drilled and Sondheim savvy. The ensembles, with the addition of Nadia Guevarra and Christina Wenning, are lifted from Sondheim by himself. Under the direction of Kim Strassburger, who is making quite a name for herself nationally, and the astute musical direction of Mark Danisovszky, the production is in rare hands, both vocally and histrionically. Campbell has never been more compelling and Heil manages to imbue Giorgio with a kind of compassionate depth that goes beyond posturing machismo, making real the causes for his falling and his downfall. As for the reasons for our discomfiture, look to Campbell. Lapine’s book and Sondheim’s amazing and chaotic lyrics give us all we need to

(l to r) Jason Heil and Sandy Campbell (Courtesy ion theatre)

know in order to understand the human truth of this work. No wonder we squirm: It is us, ugly and selfserving, puffed up and grasping. It is us, manipulative, defeated and angry. To gaze into the mirror is devastating. So is the art of theater and all the energy required to lift the mirror up before our eyes. The reader knows by now how much the writer admires these San Diego area musical theater artists, having watched them grow for the better part of a decade. This is as fine a production of “Passion” as can be seen anywhere. It might make a Sondheim fanatic of you, too. — Charlene Baldridge has been writing about the arts since 1979. Her book “San Diego, Jewel of the California Coast” (Northland Publishing) is currently available in bookstores. She can be reached at charb81@gmail.com.t

“Passion” Through May 10 (possible extension) Thu & Fri 8 p.m. Sat 4 & 8 p.m. Blkbox Theatre Sixth St. at Pennsylvania, Hillcrest iontheatre.com 619-600-5020


16

FEATURE/NEWS

GAY SAN DIEGO May 2–15, 2014

Can Butches be Moms?

Higgins with a bowtie her children made for her (Courtesy Tristan Higgins) Tristan Higgins | Special to GSD As Mother’s Day approaches, I am left to ponder what it means to be a Mom (capital used here on purpose) and to be a Butch. Some people think these two concepts are anachronous. It always makes me laugh when people are surprised that I am a Mom. Or, I guess it is not that I am a Mom, but that I am the birth Mom of my kids. People have a hard time imagining me as a pregnant woman. Why would a Butch want to have kids? Huh? I’m sorry. Assuming that a Butch identifies as a woman (which is certainly not always the case), why is it that I wouldn’t want to have kids exactly? I am a Butch lesbian woman – not trans or androgynous. I just happen to look more masculine than the average American woman. But, I carried (and nursed) my kids. Two of them. Why does being a Butch make this so confusing for people? I honestly don’t know. I may try to be tough and the protector in public, but

I am really soft and squishy with my family. And, besides, isn’t that what a mother is – tough and protective? I am that mother bear that we picture. I just look more like the bear than most mothers. And once my shoulder heals, I might have an easier time lifting a car if required – you know, because of the power lifting. I know that my straight friends sometimes ask how lesbians decide who will carry the baby. It is a fair question, after all, and one that straight folks never have to ask.  Sometimes it’s hard: if two partners are both young enough and always wanted to bear a child. Sometimes, it’s easy: one partner wants to give birth and the other doesn’t. But it should never be: you are more masculine than me, so I will carry the baby. That’s just dumb. Butches have families. You all know that. But, Butches also have babies. Sometimes their partners and wives carry the babies, and sometimes the Butches do. I think the confusion and discomfort that some seem to have really comes from our societal expectation of what a mother is. A mother is meant to be soft and warm and nurturing. A mother is the one who wipes the noses, changes the diapers, and tirelessly rocks her infant to sleep in a chair. Where is the father in this? Running to the store for tissue and diapers. Building that rocking chair. Stopping for a beer with his buddies to complain about his wife’s lack of interest in sex – even though she has giant breasts! I think that we unconsciously insert Butches into the role of the father. After all, Butches do tend to take out the trash and fix the things around the house. We open the doors for our partners. We are the chivalrous

ones. We aren’t supposed to be giving birth and nursing the babies. We are supposed to be carrying the baby’s ample equipment for the baby’s Mom and racing our softer, more feminine counterparts (the “real moms”) to the hospital. Boiling the water, as it were. But this ignores the simple fact that most Butches don’t want to be men. We aren’t trying to fill a man’s role in the relationship or world. We are just bigger, more protective. Maybe stronger. Chivalrous. Gallant. Historically, because of misogyny (frankly) it was men who were the chivalrous, gallant ones. But, there is nothing that says if I am gallant and hold the door open for my wife, I cannot want to have a baby. And wear bow ties. These two concepts aren’t mutually exclusive – as long as you free yourself from the stereotypical origins of them. I am here to tell you that there are plenty of us who are comfortable carrying the babies. Wiping the noses, changing the diapers (though I am happy for you to do that if you like). Just as there are plenty of very feminine women who do not wish to carry a baby. Butches have as much right to carry a child as Femmes do to not carry one. No one should feel pressure to have or not have a baby because of gender expectations. Can you imagine a worse reason to make such an important decision? It’s great to honor and value someone’s identity, but make sure that you do not turn that identity you honor into a cage because you are imposing limits. That don’t belong there. So, this Mother’s Day, don’t assume that the kid you see that Butch holding is not hers biologically. This Mother’s Day, remember that Mothers come in many shapes, sizes, and identities. It’s Butch to be a Mom and to honor all different kinds of Moms. Be Butch. t

gay-sd.com FROM PAGE 1

MASQUERADE “I’ve long been an active supporter of HRC and the important work they do every single day pushing for equal rights for myself, my family, and the LGBT community as a whole. “Tracy Ryerson and I can’t wait to thank the HerHRC San Diego team in person for all that they do, and to of course mingle and tingle with the KHIF fans,” Selbak said. Masks are merely encouraged at the event and not required, though Bruce said they are trying to keep the event as upscale as possible, and encourage attendees to dress up. “We are advertising it as a classy event,” she said. “Some people go all out. We have a lot of things planned and really have packed in the evening.” The popular local diva extraordinaire Laura Jane will be the night’s emcee, and Gossip’s popular Saturday night deejay DJ Dita will be spinning throughout the evening. “Dita did this event for us last year and she is a big supporter of HRC,” Bruce said. There will be lots of raffle items, including HRC T-shirts and gift cards to various restaurants, and a silent auction, which will take place from 7 – 11 p.m. with 15 – 20 larger items to bid on. Bruce said one of the more popular things they did last year was the “dating auction,” and that returns this year with four women, Brittany Leach, Sophia Mattos, Jamie Webster, Kalli Boyne, and one guy, Justin Nelson, will be auc-

tioned off to the highest bidder. “We encourage the boys to come too,” Bruce said, “it’s for LGBT women and their allies, and we’re auctioning off a guy.” Winning bidders and their “dates” will all go on a “group date” together in a future limo tour of all the MO’s Universe properties. “Making it a group dates takes the pressure off and it will be a fun party night,” Bruce said. A VIP section in the venue will offer free-flowing libations from event sponsors Castle Rock Winery and Three Olives Vodka, and Gossip Grill’s kitchen will also be providing food for the VIP area. Advance tickets are available up until Friday, May 2 afternoon. After that tickets will be available at the door. General admission is $10 in advance, $15 at the door; VIP is $30 advance, $35 at the door. HerHRC events happen all over the country in affiliate cities annually and generally take place during the first quarter of the year. “It looks different in every city,” Bruce said. “Whatever they come up with and want to do … ours is one of the last ones, being in May.” HRC San Diego has monthly social gatherings with a different speaker each month. Bruce said they are always looking to expand their base, but this week thefocus is on the Masquerade Party. “We’d love to see you there and I anticipate it will be a hot night, for a good cause,” Selbak said. “We’ll bring our masks if you bring yours.” For more information about the event, HRC San Diego, or to attend or volunteer for future events, visit Facebook.com/HRCSanDiegot

Gay San Diego - May 2 2014  
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