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Volume 4 Issue 18


Sept. 6–19, 2013 Follow us on Facebook and Twitter.


Pg. 9



Taking the next steps Rep. Susan Davis hosts Marriage Equality Town Hall; community thankful for new tax, immigration information

Marriage equality research


Brunch at Small Bar


Politically ‘Detained’


Wentworth comes out

INDEX OPINION…………………6 BRIEFS.…………………7 COMMUNITY…………….8 CALENDAR… ………….14 CLASSIFIEDS……………18 SPORTS………………22

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With change comes adaptation. A large crowd filled the San Diego LGBT Community Center to learn about what has changed since the Supreme Court ruled key aspects of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) unconstitutional, and how to adapt in an environment that includes marriage equality. In conjunction with The Center and American Constitution Society, Congressmember Susan Davis hosted a Marriage Equality Town Hall Aug. 27 in order to disseminate information related to federal benefits, taxes, immigration and constitutional law for married same-sex couples. An expert panel of specialists in their respective fields gave presentations, followed by an active question and answer period. “It’s wonderful that so many people are here with questions about what’s next,” Davis said. “We held this because we certainly want to be better informed and prepared along with the community, and know how we can help ever ybody moving for ward.” Kevin Keenan, executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of San Diego and Imperial Counties, ser ved as moderator. Eric Isaacson of Robbins Geller Rudman & Dowd spoke about constitution-al law and made a presentation about the histor y of the DOMA-related United States vs. Windsor decision. Ginger Jacobs of Jacobs & Schlesinger spoke about immigration and nationality law, and Larr y A. Conway of the Conway Law Group, Inc. spoke about tax law and social security. Additional event sponsors included Assembly Majority Leader Toni Atkins, County Super visor Dave Roberts, San Diego LGBT Pride, the Greater San

Congressmember Susan Davis at The Center for the Aug. 27 Marriage Equality Town Hall (Photo by Manny Lopez)

Sue Palmer & her Motel Swing band headline South Bay Pride at 4 p.m. (Courtesy South Bay Alliance)

South Bay Pride Art & Music Festival is here DA E E L L I OT T

SOUTH BAY ALLIANCE You have been anticipating this event for months, haven’t you? Well, it is finally here! South Bay Pride Art & Music Festival will kick off at noon on Saturday, Sept. 14 and will run until 5 p.m. Remember that we have moved; we are no longer at Memorial Park but at the gorgeous Bayfront Park right next to the J Street Marina in Chula Vista, Calif. Come ready with your blanket or chairs to hang out the whole day on the lawn listening

to music, dancing and enjoying the cool breezes off San Diego Bay. The always-fantastic Laura Jane will emcee the event on the Port of San Diego Main Stage. There will be live entertainment and dancing all day, and Interpret San Diego has generously provided ASL translators for the main-stage entertainment. The day’s entertainment schedule: • Full Strength Funk Band – 12 p.m. • Our local politicians stand up for equality – 1 p.m. • The Social Animal – 1:30 p.m. • The San Diego Drag Kings – 2:30 p.m. • Simon William Griffith, Gossip Grill’s Got Talent winner – 2:40 p.m.

Three queens and a pair Queer Queens of Qomedy returns, with a local twist By Morgan M. Hurley | GSD Assistant Editor

By Manny Lopez | GSD Reporter

see TownHall, pg 5

s r e n n Wi

• San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus – 2:55 p.m. • The San Diego Drag Kings – 3:25 p.m. • Melissa Pulte, Gossip Grill’s Got Talent winner – 3:40 p.m. • Sue Palmer & her Motel Swing Orchestra – 4:00 p.m. In addition to our live music, the Flak Productions DJ Dance Stage will have some of San Diego’s best DJs: DJ Kristy Salazar at 12 p.m., DJ Dank at 1:15 p.m., DJ Kiki at 2:30 p.m. and Flak Productions Presents DJ Nic Nak at 3:45 p.m. When you are done dancing, stroll along the bay and take in the local artwork at Art in the Park, great food, vendors and exhibitors, and MO’s Universe Barefoot Playground beverage garden. Families, drop by

see SouthBay, pg 8

Seven years ago, lesbian comic Poppy Champlin threw together a lineup – which included “Last Comic Standing” Michele Balan – to perform for thousands of attendees at the Gay Games in Chicago. A few months later she produced her first official “Queer Queens of Qomedy” (QQQ) at the famed Birchmere Music Hall in Alexandria, Va. Since those first two shows in 2006, Champlin launched Poppycock Productions and has produced dozens of QQQ events at various cities across the nation. Due to her already hectic appearance schedule, she started initially with five per year, but that number recently rose to nine and continues to climb due to the continued popularity of the show. “The success of it is good,” Champlin said. “[When] it does work and people do show up and everyone gets paid, and I get paid, and we all are happy with that factor in the equation, then it’s like a beautiful thing.” Saturday, Sept. 7, the Queer Queens of Qomedy, sponsored by Curve Magazine and presented by Poppycock Productions, will return to the Birch North Park Theatre. The last time Champlin brought her crew of lady-loving comics to San Diego was 18 months ago, when 450 local lesbians and their friends filled the venue. This time around, she hopes to bring at least that many, and more. “[It’s great] to see that group of lesbians all together,” Champlin said. “You don’t get to see that, that often, 400 lesbians hanging out having a great time and laughing their asses off. They enjoy it, it’s a really good feeling to be together, and the quality of comedy is amazing. I take pride in it by bringing the best.” The queens wearing the crown this year are Champlin, who will perform her own opening set

see QQQ, pg 17

Poppy Champlin

(Courtesy Poppycock Productions)


GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 6–19, 2013


Interim Mayor Todd Gloria (Courtesy office of Gloria)

Carl DeMaio (Courtesy office of former-Councilmember DeMaio)

Gloria, DeMaio pass on mayoral run Party lines divide candidates in bid to replace Filner By Anthony King | GSD Editor Interim Mayor Todd Gloria and former-Councilmember Carl DeMaio both announced Tuesday, Sept. 3 they would not be running for San Diego Mayor. Gloria took over as interim mayor at 5 p.m. Friday, Aug. 31 and mentioned his new focus in his official statement declining to run. “In the few days since I assumed the duties of mayor, it has become clear to me that the problems left by Bob Filner are substantial and serious,” Gloria said. “The enormous task of cleaning up City Hall while ensuring District Three is represented requires me to lead a focused team effort that produces quick results for San Diego.” Before Gloria released his statement, DeMaio held a press conference at 11 a.m. where he made his own announcement. DeMaio previously ran for mayor last year, losing to Filner. In May, DeMaio said he intended to run for Congress in the 52nd District, currently held by Rep. Scott Peters, a Democrat. In his statement Tuesday, DeMaio, a Republican, reaffirmed his interest in campaigning for Congress and outlined the need for change in the Republican Party. “I care more about getting things done – the right things done – than holding a particular political office or title,” DeMaio said. “That’s why, after much consideration as to how I can get things done for San Diego, today I re-affirm my commitment to be San Diego’s voice for reform in Congress.” Calling himself a “new generation Republican,” DeMaio said the Republican Party had a “big problem with its brand,” and his decision to run for Congress was in part motivated by wanting to change the GOP image. He said the Republican Party must stop being the party of “no” while becoming more inclusive – reaching out to communities of color, women and the LGBT community – and said government should remove itself from the “divisive social issues,” focusing instead on “fiscal, economic and quality of life” concerns. “Fourth and finally, we must lead by example,” DeMaio said. “To do this, we must fix Congress first, and demand that Congress live under the same laws they expect the rest of us to live under.” On Wednesday, Sept. 4, Councilmember Kevin Faulconer announced his intention to run for mayor, after showing his support for DeMaio’s decision the previous day. While the mayoral race is bipartisan, Faulconer

is also a Republican and stated before his dislike of Filner’s progressive politics. Filner was the first Democrat elected mayor in the City since 1992. “I firmly believe San Diego’s best days are ahead,” Faulconer said Wednesday. He said he intended to help “restore integrity” to the city and “create a community where every neighborhood is strong,” a focal point of Filner’s campaign last fall. “It’s time city leaders check their egos at the door, respect each other, and return to the kind of dignity and civility that brings people together to get things done,” Faulconer said. Save our Heritage Organisation Executive Director Bruce Coons announced Thursday, Sept. 5 his intention to run, with a stated focus to “listen and respond to the needs of neighborhoods along with those of new development,” he said. Also on Thursday, Councilmember David Alvarez used his Twitter account to say he had filed his intent to run. He said San Diego needs a mayor who cares about “working families” and “all of our neighborhoods.” County Supervisor Ron Roberts, a Republican, announced he would not be running for mayor. Assembly Majority Leader Toni Atkins, a Democrat and former-interim mayor, released a statement late August saying she would also not be running. At the Nicky Awards held Aug. 28, District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis, a candidate for mayor during last year’s election, said she would also not run again. After losing in the primary election, Dumanis came out in support of fellow Republican DeMaio, in part citing Filner’s lack of respect for women. The fourth major candidate from last year, former-Assemblymember Nathan Fletcher, became the first major candidate this year after announcing his intention to run the previous week. Fletcher, who ultimately ran as an independent after leaving the Republican Party during his first mayoral campaign, is now part of the Democratic Party. “When I was a Marine, we didn’t care what your party affiliation was. We cared if you were committed to the mission that we were doing,” Fletcher said in a video message release Tuesday. “I think it’s time as San Diegans that we all commit oursel[ves] to the mission of rebuilding our City and moving us forward.” Republican Party of San Diego County Chair Tony Kravaric said he supported DeMaio’s decision to stay out of the mayoral race. And while the San Diego County Democratic Party called for Filner’s resignation,

the group reiterated a progressive goal for the City, regardless of which candidates intended to run. “Last November, San Diegans didn’t just choose someone to be the mayor. They endorsed a Democratic vision for the future,” read a Democratic Party announcement after Filner announced he would step down. “From investing in renewable energy to highlighting our role as a border community, from standing up for working families to embracing the diversity of our people and the strength of our neighborhoods, they voted for a distinctly progressive agenda. That mandate is greater than any one person, and now it remains our responsibility and privilege to see it through,” the statement said. Former Filner staff and LGBT advocate Linda Perine, who Filner appointed Director of Community Outreach, was terminated from her position following Filner’s resignation Friday. In a press release from Steve Lee, Perine said Gloria was trying to “sabotage” Filner’s progressive vision. “It is difficult for me to believe that Gloria’s actions [in letting several Filner staff go] are those of someone who is truly committed to neighborhoods and working people,” Perine said. “Everyone knows we need all hands on deck during this crisis. Those fired didn’t do anything wrong except show up to work every day in very difficult circumstances.” At Voice of San Diego’s Politifest event held in early August, Gloria stated the need for San Diegans to move forward with the ideals that got Filner elected, and as interim mayor, he responded to Lee’s press release by reiterating the same sentiment. “As I’ve said before, even though Filner was a disaster as mayor and as a manager, I share many of his progressive ideas about making San Diego a place with thriving neighborhoods and a government accessible to people of all ethnicities and socioeconomic circumstances,” Gloria said. “One of my first tasks as interim mayor has been ensuring a staff is in place that will help me achieve these goals and also help move this city forward. Collaboration and transparency will be hallmarks of the Gloria administration, and some individuals are better suited to implementing that vision than others.” There are currently 20 candidates for mayor, including Faulconer, Fletcher, Coons, Alvarez and former-City Attorney Mike Aguirre. A primary election will be held Nov. 19.t

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 6–19, 2013



GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 6–19, 2013


Aligning with the Supreme Court IRS, Veterans Affairs use DOMA ruling to widen same-sex spousal benefits By Lisa Keen | Keen News Service The impact of the June 26 U.S. Supreme Court ruling striking down the core provision of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) continues to roll out, both within the Obama administration and in court. Two major federal departments announced that their interpretations of the Supreme Court ruling in U.S. vs. Windsor will bring benefits to married same-sex couples regardless of whether a couple’s state of residence accepts or bans their marriage. The most impressive announcement came from the Internal Revenue Service, the tax-collecting arm of the U.S. Department of the Treasury, Aug. 29. An IRS press release announced that legally married same-sex couples “will be treated as married for all federal tax purposes,” including for income tax filing, gift and estate taxes, individual retirement accounts, and in other tax regulations where marriage is a factor. “Any same-sex marriage legally entered into in one of the 50 states, the District of Columbia, a U.S. territory or a foreign country will be covered by the ruling,” stated the agency in its Aug. 29 press release. The Supreme Court’s DOMA ruling striking down a provision that barred the federal government from recognizing any marriage license issued to a same-sex couple did not guarantee how and when the federal

government would recognize such marriages. For instance, it did not spell out whether a couple married in a marriage-equality state but residing in a state that bans marriage equality would be considered married for federal purposes. Conceivably, a presidential administration that opposed allowing marriage equality for same-sex couples could have interpreted the Windsor ruling in a way that only married couples residing in marriage equality states could be considered married. But the IRS, under the Obama administration, interpreted the DOMA ruling in a broader sense. In a 15-page document explaining its analysis of the impact of Windsor on tax matters for married same-sex couples, IRS Special Counsels Richard S. Goldstein and Matthew S. Cooper note that, in regard to common law marriages, the IRS has for the past 50 years determined the marital status of couples based on where the marriage was created, not where the couple was later residing. “A rule under which a couple’s marital status could change simply by moving from one state to another state would be prohibitively difficult and costly for the Service to administer, and for many taxpayers to apply,” said the analysis. Given the ruling in Windsor, said the analysis, “individuals of the same sex will be considered to be lawfully married under the Code as long as they were married in a state whose laws authorize the marriage of two individuals of the same sex, even if they are domiciled in a state that does not recognize the validity of same-sex marriages.” “Had the Bush administration been in place, I doubt they would have seen the Windsor decision that way or accepted the good policy reasons for following a ‘rule of celebration’ recognizing all marriages as valid if valid where entered,” said Jon Davidson, legal director for Lambda Legal Defense. “That might well have led to lawsuits, the outcome of which are rarely assured. So, I think the Obama administration deserves our thanks and our respect. … I think it highly unlikely that an administration like Bush’s that had actively defended DOMA and the justifications behind it would agree that that is what Windsor required.” The IRS press release noted that the agency’s interpretation of Wind-

sor would not allow same-sex couples who have domestic partnerships, civil unions, or other non-marriage relationships to be considered married for federal tax purposes. The press release also advised married same-sex couples to file their 2013 tax returns as either married filing jointly or married filing separately. And it noted that couples who were married prior to 2013 have the option of filing original or amended returns for tax years 2010, 2011 and 2012. “Additionally, employees who purchased same-sex spouse health insurance coverage from their employers on an after-tax basis may treat the amounts paid for that coverage as pre-tax and excludable from income,” noted the release. The IRS analysis indicated the IRS intends to issue additional guidance on implications for employee benefits. In other DOMA-related developments, the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) issued guidelines Aug. 29, saying the Windsor ruling ensures that all beneficiaries of Medicare can have equal access to coverage in a nursing home where their spouse lives, regardless of their sexual orientation. “Prior to this,” said Marilyn Tavenner, administrator for the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services, “a beneficiary in a samesex marriage enrolled in a Medicare Advantage plan did not have equal access to such coverage and, as a result, could have faced time away from his or her spouse or higher costs because of the way that marriage was defined for this purpose.” The HHS announcement indicated guidance on other HHS-regulated matters would come later. And on Aug. 30, a federal judge in Los Angeles cited the Supreme Court’s decision in Windsor to order the U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs to provide benefits to a veteran and her same-sex spouse. The Southern Poverty Law Center filed the lawsuit, Cooper-Harris v. U.S. in 2012, after the VA denied to the same-sex spouse of disabled Army veteran Tracey Cooper-Harris benefits available to the spouses of other veterans. The two women were married in California, but both DOMA and the federal law governing veterans’ benefits – Title 38 — defined spouse to be only a person of the opposite sex. In her summary judgment ruling, Judge Consuelo Bland Marshall said excluding same-sex spouses from veterans’ benefits was “not rationally related to the goal of gender equality.”t


Alliant students present findings at APA conference Marriage equality symposium helps shape national policy By Anthony King | GSD Editor Representatives from Alliant International University’s Rockway Institute for LGBT Psychology & Public Policy, a research arm of the university’s California School of Professional Psychology (CSPP), attended the American Psychological Association (APA) annual convention to present research findings at a symposium focusing on marriage equality. The convention was held in Honolulu, Hawaii July 31 – Aug. 4. The Rockway Institute is a “national center for LGBT psychology research, education and public policy,” a press release stated, and uses research and advocacy to “counter anti-gay prejudice” as well as influence public policy on issues relevant to the LGBT community. The institute serves Alliant’s seven campuses, including San Diego, located in Scripps Ranch. Dr. Robert-Jay Green, founder and senior research fellow of the institute, chaired the symposium in Hawaii. Green is a distinguished professor emeritus of Alliant’s clinical psychology doctorate program. “It is a testament to the growing influence of our institute and its staff that this research was accepted by the APA for its annual convention,” Green said in the release. The annual convention is called the largest gathering of psychologists and psychology students in the world, and attracts approximately 14,000 attendees. Called “Same-sex marriage: New research and implications for marriage policy,” the Alliant symposium was part of a larger APA conference focus on LGBT topics.

APA conference papers presented included “Addressing Clinical and Policy Issues Related to LGBT Service Members,” “Navigating the Complexities of Friendships Across Sexual Orientation,” “Mental Health of Bisexual People Across the Life Span – Three Countries” and “Toward LGBT-Affirmative Psychology in Asia,” among others. Joining Green were Alliant doctoral student Erica Kornblith, alumni Anna Bailey and Justin Castello, and professor Quyen Tiet. The group presented three papers for the symposium, touting research that supports the psychological benefits of marriage equality. “This is a timely and controversial subject, given the U.S. Supreme Court’s June ruling that married same-sex couples are entitled to federal benefits and declining to rule on California’s Prop. 8, effectively allowing same-sex marriages in that state,” Green said. Bailey’s paper outlined links related to personal desire and political attitudes toward marriage equality, while Castello’s focused on whether being legally married altered a couple’s commitment to and overall satisfaction with the relationship. “Married couples showed the highest levels of psychological commitment and relationship satisfaction, and the lowest levels of relational ambiguity,” Castello’s abstract stated. During the sympo-

sium, implications for both further research and marriage policy were discussed. Green and Kornblith presented the study findings of the third paper, titled “Relationship status, social support and depression in lesbian and heterosexual women.” The paper examined levels of depression based on sexual orientation, social support from family and friends, and relationship status, including legal marriage, civil partnerships and single. “For lesbians, subgroup comparisons … revealed that single lesbians had significantly higher levels of depressive symptoms than married lesbians,” the release stated. “Married women report fewer depressive symptoms than single women, regardless of whether the women are lesbian or heterosexual.” Green said the findings from all three papers would potentially be published in several reports pertinent to marriage and marriage equality. “We are honored to have been selected to participate this year,” he said. “It adds a new level of stature to the California School of Professional Psychology and the Alliant University system, and will enable us to attract leading academics in LGBT and related studies in the years ahead.” More information on Green’s symposium, as well as the entire APA conference can be found at apa. org. For information on the Rockway Institute, visit

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 6–19, 2013 FROM PAGE 1

TOWNHALL Diego Business Association and Council President Todd Gloria. “The turnout was amazing and so many of these folks are already legally married, so we’re providing a really important public ser vice,” Gloria said. Gloria became interim mayor three days later. “These people will walk out of here with a lot of practical information about how these changes, whether at the federal or state level, provide them with rights and responsibilities like any other married couple,” Gloria said. “But then again, it’s been for so long denied to our community that I think a lot of us never could foresee a day when this could happen and now that it has, we have to find a way to communicate this to our folks.” Denise Serrano, public affairs director for The Center, said this is the first such meeting of its kind held by the nonprofit, which ser ves the LGBT community of San Diego. “The Center is in the heart of the community and we have the available space and channels of communication to get the word out,” Serrano said. “Hopefully this will open the door to broader conversations and we encourage ever yone with specific questions to seek out the assistance of professionals and hopefully start the process of empowering themselves and knowing their rights.” Ron Oster, a local real estate agent, said he attended the meeting because in his busi-


ness, it is important to be able to answer questions for clients about the laws and what’s going on in general. “I’m walking away with a lot of knowledge that I didn’t have about DOMA, community property and many factors that affect property ownership,” Oster said. “I’ve been working for civil rights for many years to see this happen and I’m ver y pleased.” Justin Webb and Peter Lewenda are in a domestic partnership and wanted to participate in the discussion about marriage equality and how it would affect them. The couple has been discussing the idea of a wedding and came specifically to learn about federal benefits that would be afforded to them as well as the tax and social security implications. “This is the first one of these that we were aware of and I hope there are going to be more,” Lewenda said. “The turnout was great and the information is ver y useful.” A couple for the past 31 years and married in California since 2008, Sandy Johnson and Mar y Russell of Normal Heights attended the meeting to seek answers to questions they had about taxes and estate planning. “It was great. I felt overall that the conversation was informative, it was positive, the speakers were great and I’m glad that they held it,” Russell said. “The turnout was good and I think they should have more of these.” The San Diego LGBT Community Center is located at 3909 Centre St. More information can be found at or by calling 619-692-2077.t



GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 6–19, 2013


Sentencing whistleblower Chelsea Manning, a queer perspective By Gabriel Conaway, Canvass for a Cause field coordinator, SAME Alliance steering member, and San Diego Coalition to Free Manning member


Steps to home ownership for LGBT consumers By Jeremy Wilson, vice president, branch manager and UB PROUD San Diego co-chair, Union Bank, N.A. Buying a home may be the biggest investment you’ll make in your lifetime. The process can be exciting and for many, it can also be intimidating. There are additional factors for same-sex couples to consider that may make the process more complex, although some of these are changing due to recent Supreme Court rulings on the Federal Defense of Marriage Act and the repeal of Proposition 8 in California. Understanding the steps to achieving your goal of home ownership can help same-sex couples improve the buying experience while steering clear of potential pitfalls. Following are a few suggestions to help you on the road to home ownership, with an emphasis on considerations for same-sex couples intending to purchase together. Get your finances in order Obtain copies of your and your partner’s credit report and have any errors corrected before you apply for a loan. For both partners: Pay down or off outstanding balances where feasible, as doing so will help improve your debt-to-income ratio and your credit score. Organize important documents that you will need, such as current pay stubs, W-2 forms, bank and asset statements, tax returns and accurate records of debts. Save for a down payment and closing costs The amount you will need for a down payment depends on your lender, but the more money you are able to put toward your down payment, the more equity you will have in your home and the lower your mortgage payments will be. If you have less than 20 percent to put down, you’ll probably have to pay for

mortgage insurance, which protects the bank against default. You will also need to have cash for closing costs, which are generally equal to about two to six percent of the purchase price of the home. Shop for a mortgage Learn about different terms and rates available, as well as any loan programs that might be available to you as a homebuyer. Many banks offer special mortgage programs that may be suitable for you. Look for one that has a record of working with LGBT customers. A trusted lender can estimate how much you can truly afford to pay for a mortgage and offer insight to what type of mortgage is best suited for you. Lenders can also help you get preapproved for a loan, which establishes your buying power giving you more leverage in the deal-making process. Find a real estate agent Find a licensed realtor you trust who is familiar with the area in which you want to buy and who has worked with same-sex couples. Word-of-mouth recommendations from other gay couples who’ve been through the process may help. An LGBT-friendly bank with experience in this industry may also have recommendations for appropriate real estate agents. A realtor’s experience buying and selling homes can be very valuable, and their services generally go far beyond helping you find a home in your desired location, as they can also negotiate price and other criteria and walk you through the paperwork. Make an offer Once you find a home that meets your price range and criteria, you may be ready to make an offer. The three basic components of a purchase offer are price, terms and contingencies. Price is the dollar amount of the offer, terms cover the

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other financial and timing factors that will be included in the offer, and contingencies are clauses that specify what will need to take place in order for you to fulfill the contract. The seller will either accept your offer, counter-bid or decline your offer. If you and the seller are able to come to an agreement, you’ll be asked to sign a contract and put down a “binder” or “earnest money.” Have the home professionally inspected Hire a home inspector, preferably an engineer familiar with the area where you are buying, to take a close look at the condition of the home. An inspection can point out potential problems that could require costly repairs down the road. In addition to the general home inspection, it may also be prudent to have specialists inspect various areas of the home, such as the roof, electrical, plumbing, chimney etc. Close the sale Confirm with your real estate agent, home insurance agent and lender that you have all the proper documents in place before signing the closing papers. At this time, you’ll usually need to settle all closing costs before receiving the keys to your new home. This article is intended to provide general information about steps to purchasing a home and is not considered financial or tax advice from Union Bank. Please consult your financial advisor. —Jeremy Wilson is a vice president and branch manager for Union Bank’s North Park branch in San Diego, and co-chair of UB PROUD San Diego, the bank’s employee resource group for LGBT employees and allies. Visit for more information.t

SALES INTERNS Charlie Bryan Baterina Martina Long CONTRIBUTORS

Chris Azzopardi Charlene Baldridge Blake Beckcom Gwen Beckcom Max Disposti Dae Elliott Lisa Keen Michael Kimmel Manny Lopez Paul McGuire Ian Morton Jeff Praught Caleb Rainey Frank Sabatini Jr. Romeo San Vincente

On the morning of Aug. 21, Judge Denise Lind sentenced Army whistleblower and three-time Nobel Peace Prize nominee Chelsea Manning to 35 years behind bars for carrying out the moral and legal duty of exposing crimes and wrongdoing. This sentencing is the culmination of a three-year show trial and marks a dark day in LGBT history. … Manning’s opponents like to claim that her actions harmed U.S. interests when what they actually mean is she harmed the ability of the government and power elite to preserve secrets that would demonstrate the ugly reality of U.S. foreign policy. To date, the government has been unable to prove that a single person was harmed by these leaks. Notably absent from the rhetoric of Manning’s critics has been any call for government accountability or even the acknowledgment of the contents of the revelations, including but not limited to an official policy to ignore torture in Iraq (a violation of international law); the cover up of child abuse by U.S. contractors in Afghanistan; Guantanamo prison’s detention of mostly innocent people and low-level operatives; lies by the Bush and Obama administrations related to civilian deaths in the war on terror; the training of Egyptian torturers by the FBI; the authorization of the theft of the UN Secretary General’s DNA by the State Department; and a video of an Apache helicopter committing three distinct instances of war crimes in Iraq. What’s also left out of the official narrative is that Manning had reported injustice through the correct military channels prior to leaking the information to Wikileaks, but had been ignored. It is widely thought that the treatment of Manning serves to send a message to would-be whistleblowers and independent journalists. The war on truth tellers under the Obama administration has been unprecedented. … Grassroots members of the LGBT community have largely undertaken the core organizing in support of Chelsea Manning in San Diego over the past few years. Not simply because we learned early on in private chat logs that Manning is queer, but because we all share the same values and principles that Manning stood for, namely speaking truth to power, acknowledging the inherent value of human life regardless of nationality, and the demand for justice and transparency in government. A question we continue to ask ourselves is where have national LGBT organizations and leadership been? Where were our “advocates” when a transgender prisoner of conscience was being psychologically tortured at the hands of a regime in which these organizations helped put into power? Or is that the very reason for their absence? Are they like so many so-called “progressives” whose opposition to illegal wars abroad and domestic surveillance vanished the moment their team took charge? Or could it be the massive funding which organizations like the HRC receive from the Military Industrial Complex that makes it so easy for them to bite their tongue? What exactly are human rights to these organizations and does the definition change when it affects their interests? Do we have support from the gay establishment just so long as we behave? Chelsea Manning comes from a background that many queer people can relate to, one that stems from a working-class family, wherein Manning was an outsider who struggled to find her true identity. What makes Manning’s experience unique is that she found the courage to act. At the risk of losing everything, Manning challenged the most powerful government in the world by eviscerating the myth that the U.S. is a global champion of truth, justice and democracy. When Chelsea saw something, she said something. The San Diego Coalition to Free Manning asks that readers go to where you can sign Daniel Ellsberg’s petition to pardon Chelsea Manning and find out how to get involved. In San Diego, readers can visit or find The San Diego Coalition to Free Manning on Facebook, as well as the Facebook pages and websites of grassroots LGBTQ rights organizations Canvass for a Cause ( and SAME Alliance ( We can all be Chelsea Manning. We are all Chelsea Manning.t

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GAY NEWS BRIEFS ‘SAN DIEGO, I LOVE YOU’ RETURNS IN 2013-14 LINEUP The Circle Circle dot dot theater company announced their 2013-14 season lineup, including a new edition of this year’s “San Diego, I Love You.” Called “San Diego, I Love You 2.0,” the production, written by Samantha Ginn and Julio Jacobo, returns February 2014 and this time, the site-specific play takes over University Heights. The new season opens with the single evening fundraiser “Morp 2013: A Dead Man’s Party,” on Oct. 26. Held at the Centro Cultural de la Raza in Balboa Park, the night will feature a premiere performance of “A Haunting in San Diego,” in association with So Say We All. From Dec. 5 – 21, playwright Katherine Harroff returns with “Bearded,” a “true-life tale” of San Diego mall Santas, a press release said. The show will be performed at the 10th Ave. Theatre in Downtown. After “San Diego, I Love You 2.0,” the Circle Circle dot dot season closes with “There’s No Place Like Home,” also at the 10th Ave. Theatre. Written by Soroya Rowley and presented in April 2014, the play allows the audience to “discover the un-observed lives of San Diego’s homeless population through poetry, music and movement,” the release stated. Tickets are currently on sale for “Morp 2013” and “Bearded,” and the nonprofit theater group’s final production of the 2012-13 season takes place this weekend, with an encore performance of “The Warriors’ Duet,” which was sold out at this year’s San Diego Fringe Festival. For more information and tickets, visit MR. AND MS. LEATHER CONTEST HIGHLIGHTS ROMP WEEKEND ROMP San Diego returned to the city Aug. 22 – 25, following last year’s out-oftown event that celebrates the local leather community. Opening ceremonies were held Aug. 23 after the leather Pride Flag was raised at the Hillcrest Pride Flag Monument. On Aug. 24, the annual Mr. and Ms. San Diego Leather contest was held, with emcees American Leather Woman 2011 Trinity and Mr. SoCal Leather 2012 Shad Cruz. Mr. San Diego Leather 2012 Aaron Duke and Ms. San Diego Leather 2012 Wish Linda ended their year term, as new leather titleholders were announced: Mr. San Diego Leather 2013 Eli Correa, Ms. San Diego Leather 2013 Colt Ever yday

and Mr. San Diego Leather 2013 First Runner-up Sir Ron. The contest and ceremony was held at the Victor y Theater in Golden Hill. “Mr. and Ms. San Diego Leather 2012, Wish and Aaron, both presented moving and thoughtful slide shows that depicted their fantastic year together,” ROMP organizers said on their website. “We want to thank them both for all the work, heart, sweat and love that they poured into their title year.” The new titleholders will be presented at a special Titleholder Social Sunday, Sept. 8 at Numb3rs Nightclub, 3811 Park Blvd. The event runs from 4 – 7 p.m. Next year’s ROMP is scheduled in San Diego for Aug. 22 – 24, 2014. For more information visit RAINBOW CROSSWALKS COULD BECOME REALITY IN HILLCREST As reported in San Diego Gay & Lesbian News (SDGLN), several community members have begun a campaign to install rainbow crosswalks in Hillcrest, similar to those approved for West Hollywood, Calif. The Los Angeles-based artist who came up with the concept, Martin Duvander, told SDGLN the L.A. crosswalks were in part a symbol of LGBT rights. Hillcrest Business Association (HBA) Executive Director Benjamin Nicholls is credited with organizing the Hillcrest campaign, saying the HBA would take the lead, SDGLN said. In an inter view for ABC 10 News, Nicholls said the rainbow crosswalks were a way to both improve and brand the neighborhood. A potential location discussed for the crosswalk is the intersection of Normal Street and University Avenue, leading directly to the Hillcrest Pride Flag Monument. The HBA spearheaded the monument as well. “It’ll bring color and energy, but it’ll also speak to the diversity and welcoming nature of Hillcrest,” Nicholls said to 10 News. If the HBA board votes to approve the project, it would then be considered by the City. SAN DIEGO WOMEN’S CHORUS TO HOST CABARET NIGHT; SEEKS ASSISTANT DIRECTOR Local choral group San Diego Women’s Chorus present their first cabaret night Saturday, Sept. 7, where members will perform outside the traditional concert setting, a press release said. Starting at 7:30 p.m., Women’s Chorus members will perform solos, duets and in small ensembles, including “That’s Life,” “When You’re Good to Mama” from “Chicago,” “For Good” from “Wicked” and “Stardust.” There will also be dance and comedy routines, featuring Russian folk dance and the cha-cha, among others. Organizers said

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 6–19, 2013

seating is limited, with general admission $10 and table seating for $15. A VIP table is $120. The cabaret will take place at the Mission Hills United Church of Christ, 4070 Jackdaw St. in Mission Hills. The group also announced a search for a new assistant artistic director. The part-time position would help oversee the group’s rehearsals, among other duties. Members meet Sundays from 4 – 7 p.m. approximately 45 weeks a year, the job announcement said. Applications are due Sept. 15. For more information on the position, visit or email Ticket information for the cabaret can be found at RESTAURANT WEEKS RETURNS SEPT 15 The California Restaurant Association’s semi-annual Restaurant Week returns to San Diego County Sept. 15 – Sept. 20, with over 180 San Diego establishments participating. “There are no passes to buy, no coupons to carr y and no cards to punch,” organizers said in a press release. Instead, show up to a participating restaurant and purchase a prix-fixe lunch or a threecourse prix-fixe dinner. Lunch menus are $10, $15 or $20 per person, depending on location and dinner prices are $20, $30 or $40 per person. Reser vations are strongly suggested, as organizers said over 140,000 people participated in the Januar y Restaurant Week. For more information or to see the complete list of participating restaurants, organized by course, price, cuisine or neighborhood, visit or call 619-233-5008. BILL EXPANDING ABORTION PROVIDERS ADVANCES Written by Assembly Majority Leader Toni Atkins, Assembly Bill 154 passed the State Senate Aug. 26, marking the last significant legislative hurdle, a release from Atkins’ office said. The bill increases the medical professionals who are authorized to perform early aspiration abortions to include nurse practitioners, physician’s assistants and certified nurse midwives. The expansion helps to alleviate a shortage of abortion providers throughout the state, the release said. “All women should have timely access to reproductive health care regardless of whether they live in urban or rural areas and without excessive expense or travel,” Atkins said in the release. “Over half of California’s counties lack an abortion provider.” The California Women’s Health Alliance – a coalition of advocacy groups including California Church IMPACT, California Latinas for Reproductive Justice and Black Women for Wellness –


is sponsoring the bill, which returned to the Assembly before moving to Gov. Jerr y Brown for his signature. NORTH PARK RESIDENT ELECTED TO UNITED WAY BOARD Omar T. Passons, a North Park resident and community activist was elected to the board of United Way of San Diego County, along with five other new members: Ignacio De La Torre, Jacqueline L. Parks, Kian Saneii, Laurie Berman and Regina V. Evans. Passons is a public works construction, land use and civil litigation lawyer at Stutz Artiano Shinoff & Holtz APC, and currently serves on the North Park Community Association, North Park Planning Group and Lambda Archives San Diego, among others. Board members serve for three years, governing the “affairs and activities” of United Way San Diego County, a press release stated. Members may also serve on sub-committees, including workplace campaigns, finance, public policy and marketing. “We welcome these highly qualified board members to the team,” said President and CEO Doug Sawyer in the announcement. “Each brings a wealth of knowledge and unique perspective to our organization, as we build on our track record of solving education, income, health and homeless issues.” For more information visit PUBLIC INPUT SOUGHT ON BIKE SHARING The City Council unanimously approved a bike-sharing initiative July 9, entering into a corporate partnership with DecoBike LLC of Miami, Fla. to provide the ser vices. The program, which is expected to launch in early 2014, will consist of approximately 2,000 bikes, 200 stations and 3,500 bike docks. The website was launched Aug. 16, and both the City and DecoBike are seeking input from residents regarding the placement of the pending network of bike stations. Community feedback is requested regarding bike station placement, which will then be matched with logistical criteria for final selection. Residents have 60 days from Aug. 16 to provide input on locations. Council President Todd Gloria, councilmembers Kevin Faulconer and David Alvarez, and representatives from Move San Diego and the San Diego County Bicycle Coalition announced the need for public input at a press conference Aug. 22. Aside from the website, the City will be using other methods to gather feedback, including community meetings and targeted emails. Several other major cities have bike-sharing programs, including Denver, Miami and Washington.t


GOING TO THE MAT FOR FAMILY Across 1 Hauls ass 7 Beach’s partner Monnier 15 Bitches 16 Bargain hunter’s goal 17 “A Taste of Honey” trumpeter 18 Freud’s specialty 19 Darren, who recently came out in an interview at an airport 20 What Darren does professionally 21 Snow White’s dwarfs, e.g. 23 Fair grade 24 Clash of heavyweights 26 Sprints at the Gay Games 32 Cannon in films 36 t.A.T.u., e.g. 38 Go down on a hill 39 Darren’s comment on coming out 42 Takes off 43 Coupling device

44 Box material in “Six Feet Under” 45 “The Wizard of Oz” scorer Arlen 47 Portion (out) 49 Binges, briefly 51 Doghouse warnings 56 Issues you haven’t dealt with 61 With 56-Across, airport area where Darren came out, ironically 62 Adapts musically 64 Rivera portrayer, in “Frida” 65 Top athletes 66 Rubber 67 Iona and others 68 Can’t stand Down 1 Goes either way 2 Sevigny of “Boys Don’t Cry” 3 Turn into confetti 4 In regard to

Going to the Mat for Family solution on page 19

5 Comes together 6 Boom source of old 7 Turkish title of honor 8 “___ now our gay apparel ...” 9 Sounded like a pride of lions 10 “Spamalot” writer Eric 11 Maker of some fruity flavors 12 Jay’s house 13 Get in the sack 14 “Showboat”’s “Nobody ___ But Me” 22 Biggest brass instrument 23 “No glove, no love” subjects 25 More than enough 27 Essen exclamation 28 Billy Crystal played gay on this sitcom 29 Drag queen ___ Phace 30 Where to see sweaty men 31 Eyelid ailment 32 Rooftop fixture 33 Village People hit

34 Petri dish gel 35 Cold war defense assn. 37 Where the little Dutch girl stuck her finger? 40 Big initials in fashion 41 Subway Series team 46 Determined 48 “More!” on Broadway 50 Mower maker 52 ___ once (like simultaneous orgasm) 53 Make erect 54 Thespians should know them 55 _Designing Women_ co-star Jean 56 Black Party, for example 57 Johnson of “Laugh-In” fame 58 Snatch 59 Teri of “Tootsie” 60 Thesis start 63 Snake sound 64 Dose of AZT, e.g.


GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 6–19, 2013


Elected officials come together for Open House MAX DISPOSTI

NORTH COUNTY UPDATE It’s a hot summer day in Oceanside, one of those days when the presence of the ocean itself can’t give enough relief and cool the air. A festive and casual atmosphere surrounds the North County LGBTQ Resource Center and its adjacent parking lot; everyone is here to support the growth of this amazing space, and to hear about the programs available and the work being done. The North County LGBTQ Resource Center is visibly located in downtown Oceanside, just two blocks from City Hall and another two from the beach. It is hard to imagine just five years ago that we would have a place like this in North County, with rainbow flags waiving on the main street of Coast Highway and few hundred feet from Camp Pendleton. Community visibility has already made a difference. People are drawn to this place because of needs, but also to express support and encouragement. The Oceanside community has supported the presence of the Resource Center since the very beginning, and now our local politicians follow. It is a change that our LGBT community is already benefiting from. For the first time we have seen the presence of local politicians and community leaders come together, which happened at our Open House on Friday, Aug. 30. They came because the political pressure of our LGBT community begins to have its own weight with the local candidates. They understand that serving our homeless youth, providing a safe space for our active duty and veterans, and educating on HIV prevention

(l to r) Max Disposti and Carolyn Bolton at the Open House (Courtesy Max Disposti) while reducing stigma and isolation, is an effort that the North County LGBTQ Resource Center should not face alone. Jim Wood, current Oceanside mayor and soon a candidate for County Supervisor, understood, and so did Escondido Deputy Mayor Olga Diaz. For the first time, even more elected officials came out in support: the always present Esther Sanchez from the Oceanside City Council; Vista Councilmember Cody Campbell; Michael Hadland representing Assemblymember Rocky Chavez; and Carla Keen, a local lesbian lawyer running for North County District judge. County Supervisor Dave Roberts was one of the speakers of the evening, and Nicole Murray Ramirez brought a

$1,000 donation from the Imperial Court de San Diego, matched by the San Diego Human Dignity Foundation. John Brown, executive director of the Dignity Foundation, also attended. And then there were the support groups of Planned Parenthood, Fraternity House, Women Resource Center of Oceanside, the ACLU and, of course, our dearest Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. A breath of fresh air from our North County politicians and organizations, and a commitment to support the “little Center that could” made this event a truly fantastic one. Of course more work needs to be done and more support is needed. As noticed when Supervisor Roberts was presenting the County’s plaque of recognition for the work of the Resource Center, Roberts could not get Supervisor Bill Horne – District 5 from Oceanside – to sign it. Thank you Supervisor Horne, another reason to remember your name at election time. Money is still needed to support our activities and growth. The San Diego Human Dignity Foundation will now match 100 percent of funds you send their way with our name on it, up to $5,000. Please consider this generous offer. If a one-time check is too much, then become a monthly donor. With a $10 gift per month, you can really make a difference in the neighborhood. Your dollar here is stretched to the maximum and it can save lives. Thank you. —Max Disposti is the founder and executive director of the North County LGBT Resource Center, a human rights activist, a community organizer and in his spare time a real estate broker. He has also served on Oceanside’s Community Relations Commission for several years. He can be reached at FROM PAGE 1

SOUTHBAY the ever-popular Children’s Garden. For those of you who enjoy kayaking, Chula Vista Kayak is hosting a special just for South Bay Pride. Come by their booth next to the Information Booth and sign up for a two-hour kayak tour of the San Diego Wildlife Refuge, leaving at 3:45 p.m. from the park and only $10 per person. If you’re not experienced, don’t worry; Chula Vista Kayak will give you a quick training on their very stable, sit-on-top kayaks. And finally, South Bay Pride is proud to host three weddings in the park to celebrate marriage equality in California, with federal recognition. The winning couples of our “My Gay Wedding” contest will receive a wedding with all of the trimmings, in a wonderfully decorated chapel area as well as a great honeymoon package: all donated by local businesses. And as always, we will be giving away great prizes for our opportunity drawings throughout the day including the grand prizes of four VIP tickets to the John Mayer and Phillip Phillips concert and second prize of another four VIP tickets to the Jason Aldean, Jake Owen and Thomas Rhet concert. South Bay Pride Art & Music Festival is a free event, and we work hard to reward those that donate to keep it so. I want to thank our Pride committee, volunteers, sponsors, donors, and all of our participating exhibitors for making this the best South Bay Pride ever. This has been an enormous adventure that I have been very privileged to be part of. I hope to see everyone there supporting and celebrating love, diversity and equality for all. — Dae Elliott is a sociologist and lecturer working at SDSU since 1994. She is one of the founding executive committee members and current chair of South Bay Alliance, a 501(c)3 nonprofit organized in 2006 with the purpose of building a coalition of the LGBT community and allies for social networking, business promotion and political awareness in South San Diego County. South Bay Alliance has been the organizer of South Bay Pride Art & Music Festival since 2007. Contact her at



Mayor George Moscone Memorial Award………………………………………………………Bonnie Dumanis Harvey Milk Equality Award……………………………Wilson Cruz, Russell Royball, Gay for Good Michael Portantino Outstanding Achievement in the Media Award………………………………………Bixi Craig Mr. Nicky Award 2013 “Outstanding Citizen”………………………………………………………………Ron Sperry Outstanding New Business…………………………………………………………………………………Uptown Tavern Outstanding Bank…………………………………………………………………………………Wells Fargo-Hillcrest Outstanding Bank……………………………………………………………………………Union Bank-North Park Outstanding Brunch……………………………………………………………………………Snooze an A.M. Eatery Outstanding HIV/AIDS Service Provider…………………………………………………Being Alive San Diego Outstanding Pharmacy………………………………………………………Community Prescription Walgreens Outstanding Performing Arts Venue……………………………………………………………Diversionary Theatre Outstanding Sports Organization…………………………………………………………………………Front Runners Outstanding Neighborhood Bar…………………………………………………………………………………The Caliph Outstanding Online Media………………..……………………………………………………………………………SDGLN Outstanding Straight Ally………………...………………………………………………………………Elaine Graybill Outstanding Entertainer/Group…………………………………………………San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus Outstanding Title Holder………………….……………………………………………………………………Aaron Duke Outstanding Title Holder…………………...……………………………………………………………………Wish Linda Outstanding Levi/Leather Personality………………………………………………………Sir Nicholas- The Eagle Outstanding Community Activist…………………………………………………………………………Ben Cartwright Outstanding Writer/Columnist……………………………………………………………………Jim Winsor- SDGLN Outstanding Publication…………………………………………………………………………The RAGE Magazine Outstanding Levi/Leather Event………………………………………………………………………LL Bear @Rich’s Outstanding Transgender Personality………………………………………………………………………Kiki Masters Outstanding Impersonator…………………………………………………………………………Paris Sukomi Max Outstanding Youth (18 – 20)………………………………………………………………………Marshall Alexander Outstanding Female Personality…………………………………………………………………………………Ana Pines Outstanding Male Personality……………………………………………………………………………Rick Cervantes Outstanding Community Volunteer……………………………………………………………………Stephen Blocker Outstanding Adult Business…………………………………………………………………Pleasures & Treasures Outstanding Business..……………………………………………………………………………………………………Filter Outstanding Business Man………………………………………………………………………………………Jay Jones Outstanding Business Woman….………………………………………………………………………………Marci Bair Outstanding Female Waitperson.…………………………………………………………Amber- Uptown Tavern Outstanding Male Waitperson…..…………………………………………………Michael McCall- Boathouse Outstanding Male Waitperson………………………………………Matt Gerwein- Wang’s North Park Outstanding University Heights/North Park Restaurant………………………………………Wang’s North Park Outstanding Hillcrest Restaurant……………………………………………………………Martinis Above Fourth Outstanding Community Event…………….…………………………………………………………………………CityFest Outstanding Community Organization…..………………………………………………San Diego LGBT Center Outstanding Bar Employee…………..……………………………………………………………………Eddie Reynoso Outstanding Bar Manager………...…………………………………………………Matt Ramon- Urban MO’s Outstanding Bartender Female……………………………………………………Freda Woodruff- Gossip Grill Outstanding Bartender Male……………………………………………………………Kory Hess- Baja Betty’s Outstanding Owners…………………………………………………………………Chris Shaw & Doug Snyder Outstanding DJ/VJ………………………………………………………………………………………………………DJ Taj Outstanding Night Club Dancer…………………………………………………………………………Jeremy Stevens Outstanding University Heights/North Park Bar…...…………………………………………………………………PEC’S Outstanding Hillcrest Bar………………………………………………………………………………………Urban MO’s Outstanding Women’s Night………………………………………………………Karaoke Night @ Gossip Grill Outstanding Bar Event…………………………………...………………………………………Church @ Babycakes Outstanding Night Club/Dance Bar…………………….………………………………………………………………Richs

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 6–19, 2013


Questions to ask before marriage

MICHAEL KIMMEL LIFE BEYOND THERAPY This has been one of the most interesting columns I’ve ever written: I got to ask lots of happily and formerly married couples what questions they wish they had asked their future husband or wife before they got married. I got some really interesting answers! I also did some research to see what the so-called experts advise couples to talk about once the marriage proposal is accepted and the wedding day approaches. Not surprisingly, these experts advise asking some pretty unromantic questions, and most newly engaged couples don’t seem too psyched to talk about stuff that feels more like a business negotiation than a commitment of love. However, let’s be real folks. Frank discussions at the beginning can help you avoid many painful misunderstandings later on.

While it’s good to ask these questions, it’s better not to assume that you can count on them. A sign of a good, strong marriage is that the couple can talk about almost anything and not yell at each other or run out of the room. This is hard to do. Most of us have subjects that make us extremely uncomfortable, and we would do a lot to avoid feeling that anxiety. And yet, in a marriage everything will (eventually) hit the fan. There are very few secrets in long-term marriages. All your ugliness, fears and dark sides will be seen by your mate. So why not ask some of these questions before you tie the knot and learn a little more about your fiancé? For many couples, sex is a predictable stumbling block in a long-term relationship. You could ask each other questions like “What would we do if we find ourselves sexually unfulfilled in our marriage, or if one of us finds that we’re strongly attracted to someone else?” This is hard stuff. I was surprised to find some experts advising engaged couples to share their credit reports. People have been burned by not knowing their spouse’s financial situation. But how can you talk about this without feeling like Donald Trump? I suggest that you skip the credit report request. Instead, you can ask your honey about his or her financial picture and tell them about yours. Be honest. It’s

see Therapy, pg 10



GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 6–19, 2013


THERAPY good to work this stuff out now before your financial futures are inextricably intertwined. It’s also helpful to find out about your fiancé’s previous relationships. Usually by the time you’re engaged, you both know all about the exes. But if not, try asking in a neutral, openended way: “I know you were with Jamie for 3 years, what happened?” Open-ended questions will give you the most information and are usually the least threatening. The purpose of these questions is to make your relationship better: stay focused on that. Remember, you’re not auditioning for “CSI: San Diego.” A question like “Name two couples that you admire and tell me what you like about them” will tell you a lot about your future spouse in a positive way. Another great question I found in my research: “Who should I have on speed dial for the days when I just can’t figure you out?” After all, what could be more important than having someone who can give you insight into your partner when you’re at a loss for what to do? How will you and your honey handle potential conflicts? If you’re an avoider and your fiancé is confrontational, you want to know this. So why not ask “How can we handle conflicts that will come up?” Keep it open-ended, not accusatory. From my experience, every

couple has two or three challenges that never completely go away. It’s helpful to talk about how you will work with them. Conflicts are an inevitable part of marriage: how can the two of you work through your stuff and still maintain a sense of teamwork and respect for each other? Are you and your fiancé ready now to talk about this stuff? A suggestion: do not ask all your questions at once. A lot of these subjects

"Frank discussions at the beginning can help you avoid many painful misunderstandings later on." are very unromantic. You are trying to understand your partner better, not interrogate them. Enjoy your questions. Enjoy learning more about this wonderful person you’re going to marry. May your marriage be a great adventure, and your relationship be a great teacher to you both. —Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia. Michael is currently accepting new clients. Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit

The ReNEWell Center: A new voice in the Asian-American LGBTQ community


PROFILES IN ADVOCACY Joseph Ruanto-Ramirez has ambitions. As a member of the young Asian-American LGBTQ community, he sees the challenges inherent in the culture and plans to bring those conversations to the forefront, for the mental health and wellness of his people. Having come to the United States at 5 years of age from the Philippines, he truly represents the straddling of cultures. The ReNEWell Center is the brainchild of Ruanto-Ramirez and friend Rafael Vizcarra. The mission of this project is to provide a safe and holistic space for Asian and Pacific American (APA) youth (13-19) and young adults (20-30) to explore identity, develop personal growth and find a community. The core values that support this mission

are emotional, mental, physical and spiritual wellness, as well as a striving for social justice. I had the opportunity to chat with Ruanto-Ramirez about this initiative and how it came to be. His own experience with the process of developing his identity was challenged by the expectations of the culture within which he was raised. His experience working with students at high school and college level reinforced the fact that there was often no safe environment for the APA students to establish an LGBTQ identity. Ruanto-Ramirez’s work prior to founding The ReNEWell Center included workshops addressing bullying, suicide and mental-health challenges of young people. This caught the attention of attendee Vizcarra, an inspirational motivational speaker, and together they decided it was time to take their advocacy to the next level. A fundamental concern that Ruanto-Ramirez expressed was the accuracy of data and statistics about bullying and mental wellness for the Asian and Pacific Islander who challenges identities that fall outside of hetero-normative cisgender expression. These items are nearly universally considered “taboo” in cultural conversations, and he sees the need as underrepresented. Providing workshops and facilitating speakers for youth and young adults is the current primary goal of The ReNEWell Center. In addition to presenting programming, they also look to identify advocacy leaders on a national scale to expose to Asian-Americans. As a new project, they currently leverage social media toward their exposure with short-term plans of a partnership with The Answer Center in Mira Mesa and an eventual physical space of their own. We also talked about the subculture of “downe” AsianAmerican youth. This phenomenon in some ways mimicked the “down low” culture within African-American communities, in that it allowed a space for samesex attractions without placing a label on the individual. Because of stigma in many types of Asian culture to the shamefulness of homosexuality or gender identity outside of biological assignment, this middle ground was perhaps the only safe place for many to begin their journey. This demographic is of particular interest to Ruanto-Ramirez, as he hopes to one day collect and publish the stories of this and other experiences specific to the APA community. He believes true stories are one of the most important resources for both youth and their parents, as they develop their identities. APA familial relationships, shame-based protocols, religious beliefs and the intersection of emotion and gender roles are all factors that will need to be addressed during one’s evolution. The ReNEWell Center is designed to facilitate the renewal of APA culture and the lives of the LGBTQ individuals in that culture. Inspired by the idea of the Phoenix, as found in Asian culture and representing virtues such as justice and truth, the Center will continue to challenge APA cultural norms that can harm a young person’s development. The founders are committed to taking on these issues until they have built a safe environment for the process of identity establishment. To learn more, visit Facebook. com/TheReNEWellCenter/ or email —Ian Morton has worked in the HIV field since 1994 when he began volunteering with AIDS Response Knoxville. He currently serves as outreach liaison for the AIDS Research Institute at UC San Diego. To nominate a person or organization to be featured in Profiles in Advocacy, submit name, affiliation and contact information to


(above, l to r) Biscuits and gravy, chicken filet with eggs and waffles; (below) the “bloody Mary superior” (Photos by Frank Sabatini Jr.)


Dining with


e intended last Sunday on starting our morning with an ocean view, at an upscale restaurant serving such highfalutin fare that it completely eliminates omelets. But the Labor Day weekend brought a seasonal halt to that particular brunch so we instead found ourselves ordering food from a finger bell inside the rocker atmosphere of Small Bar. Our decision to eat in the company of a jukebox cranking out songs by Thin Lizzy and Screaming Trees wasn’t exactly random. For some time I’d been eyeing Small Bar’s weekend brunch – 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. on Saturdays and Sundays – because of its hearty flat-price entrees that include one of the most bountiful bloody Marys in town. With tax, most dishes average $15. The menu features ever ything from four-egg omelets and colorful tofu vegan scrambles to chili-braised pork and half-pound burgers. The items are plated substantially with things like bleu cheese potatoes, black beans and in some cases, beer-candied bacon shaped so evenly straight that you’d think the strips were steam-ironed. Your choice of an alcoholic drink extends also to draught beer, a mimosa, a Michelada (beer with bloody Mar y mix) or the Parisian-born French 75, which blends gin with champagne, lemon juice and simple syrup. The latter potentially puts a stumble in your step faster than it takes to rupture a couple of egg yolks. But it is the “bloody Mary superior” that most people choose. The drink contains more solid matter than liquid, considering that the glass gives way to bacon, green beans, house pickles, carrot sticks, celery stalks and a skewer containing mushrooms, pearl onions and shrimp. Outside of the glass you get a bag of spicy, fried pork skins, should you choose to further bulk up this zesty house blend of tomato juice, steak sauce and chili-infused vodka. Customers place their orders at a tiny table near the kitchen door, using a finger bell if staffers drop out of sight. From there, you proceed to the bar with a receipt in hand to claim your libation and pay up. Seating is fairly plentiful and includes a couple of communal tables on the front patio if you don’t mind eating in

direct, early day sun. My companion, who rarely passes up biscuits and gravy, gave Small Bar’s his seal of approval. The flaky oven-fresh biscuits moistened quickly from a thick, gooey mantle of sausage gravy hiding traces of hoppy beer in the recipe. Sitting alongside were two eggs requested over easy (flawless), a pile of country-style potatoes accented mildly with bleu cheese (a little dry) and a sizable patty of house-made sausage that was marvelously lean and spicy. I ordered the “lil’ soul,” which also involved sausage gravy, but ladled instead over a buttermilkdredged filet of breaded chicken breast. The filet was wide and thin, obviously pounded out before receiving its tasty Southernstyle coating. However, the breading and golden-brown color were so uniform, I wondered whether it was the result of kitchen expertise or commercial pre-manufacturing. For the two eggs included, I chose them scrambled. They were firm though not in the least overcooked. The meal also featured a stacking of Belgian waffles garnished with fresh bananas plus more of that killer candied bacon that kept appearing. As I had guessed when detecting a vague fermented flavor in the waffles, the batter is made with a splash of brown ale, which I initially overlooked in the menu description. The waffles were pleasing, but I wasn’t wowed enough by them to start pouring suds into my recipe at home. Even in my nighttime drinking visits to Small Bar, the demographic always struck me as refreshingly diverse with a hypercasual element of Ocean Beach tossed in. In addition, dishes I’ve tried from the regular menu such as small tacos, corn dogs and various “sliders from Mars” tasted in top form, and at the very least delivered a jolt of sobriety after dabbling from among 50 beer taps at the roomy bar. The experience is really no different at weekend brunch, except for the homey breakfast chow and spectacular bloody Marys surrounding you.t

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 6–19, 2013



GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 6–19, 2013

hotels | rings | tuxedo & dress rentals | reception venues | photographers | florists | cakes | honeymoons

Reverend Robert Carter

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 6–19, 2013

(619) 399-3173 | Freedom of choice. That choice for the LGBT community has eluded us for many decades. NO MORE! The freedom of marriage now gives many benefits for which we are deserved. As your wedding minister I will meet you at the altar with all my expertise, where all the dreams you’ve been waiting for will come true. I have been officiating weddings for over 28 years, and after making San Diego my home, I’ve endured the diversifi-

cation of the LGBT movement. Let’s make the very best of the newly found freedoms of marriage. Let’s sit down together and create the most important day of your lives. We’ll create a very special ceremony that will include all the benefits of marriage. Close attention will be given to honor any particular need, and of course, my rate is very reasonable. I’m reverend Robert Carter. Contact me at 619-399-3173, or visit my website:



GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 6–19, 2013

Friday, Sept. 6

WOMEN IN MARIACHI: The Women’s Museum of California at 2730 Historic Decatur Rd. hosts tonight’s opening reception of “Viva El Mariachi Feminil 1903 – 2013” from 5 – 8:30 p.m. The exhibit is a historical look at women’s foray into the male mariachi world, in both Mexico and the United States. The event is curated by Leonar Xochitl Perez, with mariachi trailblazers Laura Sobrino and Nancy Munoz. For more information, visit or call 619-233-7963. LAMBDA ARCHIVES GALA: Celebrate “20 Years at the Table,” Lambda Archives of San Diego’s annual gala honoring all openly LGBT elected officials. Called “Heroes, Pioneers and Trailblazers,” the nonprofit organization will acknowledge the work of Christine Kehoe, Bonnie Dumanis, Toni Atkins, Todd Gloria, Steve Padilla, Frank Tierney, Carl DeMaio, Kevin Beiser and Dave Roberts. The fundraiser takes place at the Marine Corps Recruit Depot Bay View Restaurant, 1600 Henderson Ave., from 6 – 9 p.m. For more information and tickets visit or call 619-260-1522. PRIDEFIT HIKE: Join PrideFIT for their evening hike of Black Mountain, where the LGBT group will lead a hike up the Nighthawk Trail. Park at the Hill Top Community Park, 9711 Oviedo Way, and meet at 7:30 p.m. – with your flashlights, headlights and water – at the entrance to the trail. For more information visit or call 562-248-8239. WARRIORS’ DUET: If you missed Circle Circle dot dot’s production of “The Warriors’ Duet,” based on the work of our theater critic Charlene Baldridge and her daughter, you have one more weekend to catch this Fringe-fest soldout show. Directed by Anne Gehman and Katherine Harroff, with choreography by Anne Gehman, “The Warriors’ Duet” is a celebration of love, life and, of course, words. Tonight’s show is at 8 p.m., fol-

lowed by tomorrow (Saturday, Sept. 7) at 8 p.m. and Sunday, Sept. 8 at 2 p.m. The dance-theater show is presented at The White Box Theater, 2590 Truxton Rd. Tickets are $15 and can be purchased at or at the door (if there’s room!).

Saturday, Sept. 7

HOME-BUYING WORKSHOP: Getting eager to drop some cash on your first home? Eager for another? The San Diego LGBT Real Estate Team, a group of LGBT real estate professionals, is hosting tonight’s free workshop on buying and selling a home, specifically for our community. From the transaction process and searching for property to how home buying affects your taxes in a post-Prop 8 and DOMA world, the workshop is open to everyone. Speakers include Danny Ingersoll, Michael Jonas and Steven Solomon. The event is hosted at The Center, 3909 Centre St., from 10 a.m. – noon. RSVP to MARRY ME: Well, maybe just “Marry Me A Little,” Diversionary Theatre’s latest production featuring work from master songwriter Stephen Sondheim. Using songs from “Follies,” “A Little Night Music” and “Company,” among others, director James Vasquez features the story of two “lonely young people” in and out of love. Here’s the cool catch: Diversionary offers up your choice of who to see, whether it be two men, two women or one man, one woman (gasp!). Tonight is opening night at 7 p.m., featuring the male couple and female couple; you pick the rest on their calendar as the show runs through Sept. 29. Want to see them all? Sept. 21 is a “Marry Me Marathon,” with all three. Diversionary is located at 4545 Park Blvd. For tickets and the complete schedule, visit diversionary. org or call 619-220-0097.

Sunday, Sept. 8

FIERCE FLING: It’s a special endof-summer event benefiting AIDS Walk & Run San Diego, where Babette Schwartz, Olive Onemore, Tiffany Tanqueray, Alejandra Eloisa Jalapedro and Paris perform. Called “Fierce Fling,” there will also be an opportunity drawing, silent auction and … wait for it … swimsuit models! The event goes down at 2 p.m. at The Brass Rail, located at 3796 Fifth Ave. For more information visit or call 619-298-2233. WRITE THAT NOVEL: Trish Sjoberg and Expressive Arts @ 32nd and Thorn wants to help, with the eight-week support group “So You Want to Write a Book?” Starting tonight at 6:30 p.m., you can get help fighting all the things that make you get stuck. While not a how-to-write class, they will over resources, writing prompts and give you feedback on everything from fiction, non fiction, memoir and workbook, to rants, journaling and well, anything. Cost is $159, and group size is limited so RSVP to Sjoberg ASAP. Expressive Arts is located at 3201 Thorn St. For more information email or call 619-251-8474.

Tuesday, Sept. 10

GSDBA LUNCHEON: Today’s Greater San Diego Business Association (GSDBA) professional lunch series features guest speaker Kevin Wunderly, president of Wunderly Consulting. Wunderly will discuss accelerating business through client trust and relationships, and the luncheon is from 11:30 a.m. – 1 p.m. at Wang’s North Park, located at 3029 University Ave. Tickets are $25 in advance, and $35 at the door. For more information and tickets visit or call 619-296-4543.

Monday, Sept. 9

MAMA’S PANTRY: Independence from Hunger is the theme for tonight’s Mama’s Kitchen-led food drive. The fundraiser, held at The Void, benefits Mama’s Pantry and starts at 7 p.m. Each nonperishable item you bring – peanut butter, canned fish, cooking oil, spaghetti sauce, canned soups, cereal – gets you an extra chance to win a prize and don’t worry if you can’t make it to the store for an item: cash donations are accepted, and will be used to buy fresh fruits and vegetables for Mama’s Pantry clients. And, don’t bring expired food, please. The Void is located at 3519 El Cajon Blvd. For more information visit or call 619-233-6262.

BLACK & PINK: SAME will host a special presentation of “Black & Pink,” an “open family of LGBTQ prisoners and ‘free world’ allies who support each other.” They work toward ending the prison industrial complex, specifically the treatment of LGBT people in the prison system. The SAME meeting is held at 6:30 p.m. at the San Diego Pride offices, 3620 30th St. For more information visit

see Calendar, pg 15

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 6–19, 2013 FROM PAGE 14

Saturday, Sept. 14

CALENDAR Wednesday, Sept. 11

SDPIX PREVIEW: It’s a ver y special preview party for SDPIX, as “Tragic Girl” Chad Michaels hosts tonight’s Dreamgirls show at Urban MO’s. Come out and meet September’s cover girl before the show, but make your reser vations now. It’s going to be a packed hose. Doors are at 7 p.m., with the show at 8 p.m. MO’s is located at 308 University Ave. For more information visit or call 619-491-0400.

Thursday, Sept. 12

SDSU STUDENT FILM: Welcome all those co-eds back to school at tonight’s San Diego State University Student Film Fest, starting at 7 p.m. The SDSU School of Theatre, Television and Film features up-and-coming filmmakers, and the two-day festival (today and tomorrow, Friday Sept. 13) is at the Don Powell Theatre, located at the Performing Arts Plaza on Campanile Drive. For more information and tickets visit or call 619-594-6884. LAUGH OUT PROUD: Yep, they’re back. Laugh Out Proud Comedy Show returns to Martinis Above Fourth, and tonight’s headliner is Chantel Carrere. The company is headed by comic Sarah Burford, and tonight’s 8 p.m. show is $5 general admission. MA4 is located at 3940 Fourth Ave. For more information visit or call 619-400-4500.

Friday, Sept. 13

FREAKY FASHION: The Center hosts tonight’s Freaky Fall Fashion Show fundraiser, benefiting the Hillcrest Youth Center. The fun night is open to all and starts at 6 p.m. The Center is located at 3909 Centre St. For more information visit or call 619-692-2077. POP-UP AMBUSH: As part of Exhibit Ambush Phase 2 – a collaborative entertainment fashion event happing later this year highlighting the work of gay brothers Jesus and Antonio Estrada – Oliver’s Hair Design is hosting a pop-up fashion preview show tonight from 7 – 9 p.m. Artists, DJs, performers and make-up artists will highlight the design work of Whitney Francis, Annalynn Luu, Jaqueline Banting and Tiffany Wayne Hauschild. Leslie Hughes from “The Bachelor” fame will emcee, and a portion of the proceeds go to Susan G. Komen for the Cure. Oliver’s is located at 2971 Beech St. in South Park. For more information and tickets visit

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HOT GUYS WITH GUNS: What a title! FilmOut San Diego screens “Hot Guys with Guns” tonight at 7:30 p.m., a 90-minute amateur-sleuth comedy featuring, well, hot guys with guns. As actor-slashwaiter Danny (played by Marc Anthony Samuel) and his ex, Pip (Brian McArdle) attend a private eye class in preparation for a new role, Pip is robbed by the “gay sex party bandits” and the pair team up to solve the crime (despite their obvious sexual tension). We love the new direction FilmOut is taking with their monthly screenings, and this should be hilarious. The film screens at the Birch North Park Theatre, 2891 University Ave. For more information and tickets visit HAPPILY EVER AFTER: As part of their production “Marry Me A Little,” Diversionary Theatre hosts tonight’s postshow discussion “Happily Ever After – Why Marriage Matters.” Tonight’s show starts at 8 p.m. Diversionary is located at 4545 Park Blvd. For more information and tickets visit or call 619-220-0097.

Sunday, Sept. 15

KARAOKE: Jason hosts the Flicks karaoke night on Sundays, from 9 p.m. – 2 a.m. It’s been touted as the “best karaoke show in Hillcrest,” and Jason brings new songs every week (but there’s nothing wrong with that same ol’ show tune, really). Flicks is located at 1017 University Ave. For more information visit or call 297-2056.

house. Presented by Sher Krieger Events, the evening starts at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $22 general admission, and $2 off with student ID. MA4 is located at 3940 Fourth Ave. For more information visit or call 619-400-4500.


tickets and information visit or call 858-481-8140.

Wednesday, Sept. 18

Monday, Sept. 16

OH, SONDHEIM: Ever wonder why the gays love Stephen Sondheim so much? Besides the genius of “A Little Night Music” – so good – LGBT performers and audiences gravitate toward the song-writing master, and Diversionary Theatre is hosting a discussion to get to the heart of it. Following tonight’s production of “Marry Me A Little,” based on Sondheim’s work, the theater company will lead a panel discussion that should be full of insight. It is, after all, industry night. The production starts at 8 p.m. Diversionary is located at 4545 Park Blvd. For more information and tickets visit or call 619-220-0097.

Tuesday, Sept. 17

STARS OF THE FUTURE: Held at Martinis Above Fourth, Leigh Scarritt presents Stars of the Future: An Evening of Hope and Musicality, where talented young performers take the stage and perform. Artist credits include The Old Globe Theatre, San Diego REP and La Jolla Play-

WYNONNA: This is most definitely our pick of the week. Wynonna and the band The Big Noise come to the Belly Up for one show, where the five-time Grammy Award-winning artist will no doubt play a selection of her best hits as well as feature music from her up-and-coming album. It is a show not to be missed, and the perfect venue for a true, classic singer. Doors open at 7 p.m. for the 8 p.m. show; tickets are $75 advance and $80 day of. The Belly Up is located at 143 South Cedros Ave. in Solana Beach, Calif. For

LOG CABIN REPUBLICANS MIXER: California GOP Chair Jim Bruit leads the Log Cabin Republican’s September Speaker series, held at Diversionary Theatre, 4545 Park Blvd. District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis will speak and radio talk-show host LaDona Harvey will emcee. The mixer starts at 5:30 p.m., with speakers at 6:15 p.m. For more information visit

Thursday, Sept. 19

ALL WET: SDPIX and Marshall Alexander host tonight’s WET at Bourbon Street Bar & Grill, San Diego’s number one wet-underwear contest. Never participated? There are over $600 in cash and prizes, with the top winners chosen by audience feedback. Bourbon Street is located at 4612 Park Blvd. For more information visit bourbonstreetsd. com or call 619-291-0173.t



GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 6–19, 2013



The righteous and the damned Famed playwright Josefina López brings observant, affecting production to La Jolla

To label something “polemic” would mean that it is bold, outspoken, controversial, passionate and persuasive. Using these words to describe a play definitely indicates it contains teaching moments, that is, moments of force feeding that have varying degrees of the squirm element, and along with that squirm, impatience. And in extreme cases, an urge to flee. When the message is well disguised, the play might cause one a change of heart. When the play preaches to the choir, the choir squirms. Overt in all its ugliness and beauty and passionate compulsion to instill, Josefina López’s “Detained in the Desert” is all those things. “Detained in the Desert” opened in its local premiere Aug. 29 at La Jolla Playhouse’s Theodore and Adele Shank Theatre as part of the Playhouse’s resident theatre program. The producer is Teatro Máscara Mágica, and the play is staged by William Virchis, beloved longtime San Diego director and educator. The audience was full of supporters, board members and friends, all

“Detained in the Desert”

Through Sept 15 Teatro Máscara Mágica, at La Jolla Playhouse Wed – Fri 7:30 p.m. Sat 2 & 7:30 p.m. Sun 7:30 p.m. Final show Sun, Sept 15 2 p.m. 800-838-3006

members of the choir. Now in her 40s, López was a San Diego Playwrights Project rock star in her teens when her play “Simply Maria, or the American Dream” won the Young Playwrights Competition. She is perhaps best known for “Real Women Have Curves,” which became a film and is being developed as a musical.

(l to r) Cast members Brenda Omega and Charles Maze (Courtesy Teatro Máscara Mágica) She recently came out with a first novel, has her own theater company in Boyle Heights, and On Stage Productions is mounting her play “Logan Heights” Sept. 13 to Oct. 12. López wrote “Detained in the Desert” in protest of Arizona State Bill 1070, passed in 2010. Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio is not a character in the script but his spirit hangs over it. In early August, Arpaio told Huffington Post that he requires all deputies to carry AR15s and to use them to enforce the law, even off duty. “Detained in the Desert,” where López’s major characters find themselves, has two opposing protagonists: one is a dark-skinned Latina named Sandra Sanchez (played by Alix Mendoza), who’s arrested while traveling with her boyfriend in Arizona. They are near the United States-Mexico

border in Arizona, and she refuses to produce “documents,” claiming she is being racially profiled, and so is taken into custody for resisting arrest. She goes to a detention center where she is scheduled for deportation to Mexico. The other protagonist is Lou Becker (Charles Maze), a hatespewing Phoenix radio talk-show personality who hosts “Take Back America.” In an early scene, he interviews the “opposition,” Enrique Martinez (Dave Rivas), who is based on a real person, Enrique Morones. Morones is founder of Border Angels, which, among other things, places life-saving water along desert routes to the border. As the tale unfolds, the righteous and the damned become less clear-cut than imagined, and this is what saves the message play from itself. Humanity is what it’s all

about, and that is the point. There is a magnificently wrought and performed scene in the detention center between Sandra and her cellmate, Milagros – miracles – played by Elisa Gonzales. Milagros is the name of a grade-school classmate whom Sandra failed to support when both attended a largely white school. The scene is not the only example of López’s use of magical realism. The desert is filled with observant skeletons, one of which insists on being taken home. The above-named actors are effective and affecting. Maze is particularly admired for his character’s believable transition from intractable stereotype to human being. The others can do no wrong and are part of a much larger-thanon-paper company, staged well by Virchis upon a rich utilitarian set designed by John Iacovelli.t


Sandra Valls (Courtesy Sandra Valls) FROM PAGE 1


and emcee the event, along with veteran comedian Shann Carr and, from Showtime’s “Latin Divas of Comedy,” Sandra Valls. Carr is a “storyteller,” Champlin said, who “spins her tales” in such a way that you “never see the punch coming.” She said Carr is a star on the men’s Atlantis cruise circuit. Champlin describes QQQ regular Valls’ standup as having a “high energy” style similar to her own but with a Latina influence. Since she and Valls also both include singing in their sets, Champlin usually puts as much time between their routines as possible. The evening will also include local duo Nick & Mel as special guests. They plan to “break up” the comedy with their own unique style, playing four selections from their recently recorded CD, “Songs in the Key of Divorce.” “It is going to be ‘The Singing Queer Queens of Qomedy,’” Champlin said, laughing. “[But] I’m really glad we are doing ‘Songs in the Key of Divorce’ because I just broke up with my girlfriend. We got back and we broke up and we got back and we broke up and now we’ve broken up. She had too many rules. I wasn’t ‘in love,’ I was ‘incarcerated.’ I was dating the warden.” In addition to general admission, VIP tickets will also be available, and all tickets can be purchased in advance or at the door. VIPs will not only be seated in the first couple of rows, Champlin said they will also be invited to dine and drink with the comedians afterwards at West Coast Tavern. Champlin has been in the business a long time and enjoyed much success, and although she still performs solo gigs in places like Provincetown, Mass. and with Olivia Lesbian Travel and The Dinah, it’s the idea of self-producing an all-woman show that keeps her focused on the future, despite the challenges she may face. “Comedy is dominated by men, so to have a lesbian show, with lesbians doing lesbian material is so refreshing,” she said. “[That’s what] makes me happy to do it … to actually see my company growing and becoming a viable business … and to help the other comedians. They need jobs and I like giving my friends jobs. ... I have lost on a few, broken even on a few, but it’s worth the risk just to keep going and build the brand. And it’s fun.” For more info on Champlin visit

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 6–19, 2013

(l-r) Melanie Peters and Nicki Walker aka Nick & Mel (Courtesy Melanie Peters) Shann Carr Self-described “military brat” Shann Carr said she chose Palm Springs, Calif. as her home 15 years ago because “even poor people like me have a pool here and at 50, I’m still young-ish at most events.” A comic since 1984, Carr said her coming-out process shortly before choosing her profession offered her plenty of material, though she also credits Bob Newhart, Bill Cosby, George Carlin and Gilda Radner as inspirations. The veteran comedian is no stranger to San Diego. “I played The Flame in the late 80s and 90s. I’ve done the Birch, The Center, The Hole three or four times ... and most recently Martinis Above Fourth, which was such a great room,” Carr said. “It is like I smush five stories together so that the final story has extra details by the roadside of a very windy, precipitously tall tale,” she said, describing her stand-up routine. Fans can also find her on retainer with Sweet vacations, at the Left Coast Women’s Literary

Conference in Palm Springs in October, and on a R Family Vacation in November. Learn more about Carr at Sandra Valls A singer and musician since high school, Texas-native Sandra Valls never planned on being a “lesbian comic,” saying she even fronted an eight-piece horn R&B band while living in Boston. But it was in Boston where she found comedy, or rather it found her. Given a seat in a comedy class as a Christmas gift by her girlfriend, Valls found her true future. And it wasn’t with the girlfriend. After making a move to Los Angeles 12 years ago, she finally got serious about comedy and has gone on to enjoy an award-winning career ever since, with singing a regular part of her routine. Her comic inspirations are Bette Midler, Steve Martin, Dane Cook and, of course, Ellen. Valls’ hometown of Laredo, Texas recently honored her as a “trailblazer” with the 2013 International Woman’s Day Award, and


Shann Carr (Photo by Lani Garfield)

this year she was also added to “Project VISIBLE,” a prestigious list that identifies LGBT Latino leaders in the United States and Puerto Rico. To learn more about Valls, visit Nick & Mel Melanie Peters and Nicki Walker have been burning up San Diego with their form of music and comedy as Nick & Mel for the last few years. In March of 2012 they responded – and won – to Champlin’s online offer of “the best joke gets free tickets to QQQ.” Showing up in character, Nick & Mel interviewed Champlin after that last show for their own web-based series, and the rest, as they say, is history. In August – thanks to friends, fans and the art of crowdfunding – Nick & Mel finished recording “Songs in the Key of Divorce,” a

full-length CD they will be serving up a few selections from. “We are so stoked to be right in the middle of the show,” Peters said. “We have sliced together a stream of musical and bitter storytelling genius … mixing the comedy and tragedy of a break up with the process of life.” Learn more by visiting The Queer Queens of Qomedy with special guests Nick & Mel performs at the Birch North Park Theatre, 2891 University Ave., on Saturday, Sept. 7 at 8 p.m. Tickets are $25 for general admission and $40 for VIP. To purchase, visit Note: In a show of support, Seattle-area promoter Pauline Miriam, who produces the monthly Inferno/ Wildfire dance in San Diego, has cancelled this month’s event to not cause a conflict.t




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GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 6–19, 2013



Body contouring freezes away fat at a Hillcrest dermatology office




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My business depends on referrals. Thanks for thinking of me.

H R Tactics Strategic Planning, Tactical Training Joe Whitaker operates H.R. Tactics, a full-service human resource consulting firm in Mission Hills, providing a broad range of human resource support, products and solutions for small to midsized companies with fees designed to put affordable human resources in reach. He can be contacted at 804-4551 or e-mail at





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Liposculpture. Body Contouring. CoolSculpting. What do those terms mean? They are the processes of removing fat to help the body look its best. The safe and effective CoolSculpting method is available at Hillcrest Advanced Aesthetic Dermatology by San Diego dermatologist Dr. William Heimer. “CoolSculpting is recommended for people that are generally in good physical condition but want to remove the stubborn tummy bulge or ‘love handle’ fat deposits that do not respond to their eating and exercise routines,” Dr. Heimer said. CoolSculpting freezes fat cells without harming skin, nerves or surrounding tissue. Though related to liposuction, it is a much less invasive process with a quick recovery. “It fits with people’s busy lifestyles, takes very little time and does not interrupt daily activities. The body heals quickly,” said dermatologist Heimer. With CoolSculpting the procedure is short and relaxing; a number of areas of the body can be worked on in one session. It is done in the doctor’s office and no anesthesia or incisions are involved. Patients are awake and comfortable during the process. HOW IT WORKS AND THE PROCEDURE Fat is sensitive to cold. The CoolSculpting equipment freezes excess fat that is then reabsorbed by the body.The CoolSculpting device is applied to the skin with an easy vacuum process. The skin and fat in the area are sucked into the instrument that is equipped with cool plates. Patients first feel intense cold and then the area becomes numb. The device is left on the body and the treatment takes about one hour. Two or three different areas can be treated in one session. Patients can comfortably lie down, nap, or even read during a treatment. When the device is removed, the previously fatty area will feel like cold butter under the skin. The fat will be absorbed back into the body. Treatments can be repeated to remove additional fat. RECOVERY, HEALING AND RESULTS The healing process is short and not uncomfortable, although the area may tingle a bit. There may be a small amount of swelling right after the procedure and the area may be sensitive to touch for about a week. FDA-approved studies on the CoolSculpting process show that 20 percent of fat can be removed from an area in one treatment. Reduction of fat was successful for 9 out of 10 people after just one treatment. CANDIDATES FOR THE PROCEDURE “Anybody can be a candidate for CoolSculpting, it’s not an age-related procedure,” Dr. Hiemer said. “I have treated patients in their early 20s and a woman in her 80s. Medically, it is rarely contra indicated.” A consultation and medical workup is required and candidates must be at their ideal body weight. It is not considered part of a weight-loss program. RISKS AND COST “The biggest risk of CoolSculpting is that patients may have unrealistic expectations for results,” Dr. Heimer explained. He helps patients gain realistic ideas about what to expect.“CoolSculpting is not covered by insurance,” Dr. Heimer said, “but reducing the amount of body fat is an advantage for most people whether or not they’ve been diagnosed with health disorders.” For a small application, the cost is $800; larger applications are $1500. Packages are available that offer 10-15 percent discounts and financing is available through the office. Dr. Heimer recommends visiting his web site to see before and after photos at

Hillcrest Advanced Aesthetic Dermatology is located at 3737 Fourth Ave. For more information call 619-299-0700 or visit Dr. William Heimer’s clinics in both Hillcrest and Encinitas are on the Best Of San Diego list.



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Aof Lieb faith 20

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 6–19, 2013

YouTube sensation talks Steve Grand, being a heartthrob and his gay competition By Chris Azzopardi | Q Syndicate YouTube’s been good to Eli Lieb. The Iowa-born, boyishly handsome musician, who’s amassed a faithful following with his own distinctive twist on radio songs, recently dropped his new intoxicating pop single “Young Love.” It’s sweet and liberating, and it features two lovers who just happen to be men (who happen to be cute, and who also happen to kiss). The video premiered just days after “All-American Boy,” in which out “country” hunk Steve Grand falls for a straight boy, became a viral hit. The two, however, couldn’t be more different. In this chat with Lieb, he opens up about why. The web sensation also talks about learning guitar from Ani DiFranco, not seeing himself as a heartthrob and how happiness was the key to his success. Chris Azzopardi: How did you learn to sing?

Eli Lieb: Singing was always something that came naturally to me. I started when I was 12, and that’s when I was in my first musical theater show and when I first discovered singing. CA: At 16 you picked up a guitar for the first time. What was the first song you learned to play? EL: I don’t remember the first song, but I know it was an Ani DiFranco song. At that age I was totally into her and I learned guitar by listening to her songs. I don’t know how to read music. I never could learn. I don’t know any chord

Eli Lieb

(Photo by Ben Easter)


names, but if I can hear something, I can learn how to play it.

CA: What’s going on with the sophomore album?

CA: And this was before YouTube.

EL: A lot of stuff in my life right now is changing for the positive career-wise. I recently moved to L.A. and I’m doing a lot. There’s a lot of change happening. I’m never gonna stop making music, that’s for sure. But I can’t be like, “My next album is coming out in a couple of months,” you know? But I’m making music everyday, let’s just say that.

EL: This was back in the olden days! CA: Where would you be without YouTube? EL: I have no idea. I’ve been making music since I was 16 and YouTube didn’t really become a huge platform until the last few years. I would’ve found another way of doing it, but thank god for YouTube and the internet because it’s so much more accessible. Now YouTube is a massive machine and everybody is trying to make it their stage. CA: Would you consider reality TV shows like “American Idol”? EL: I’m never closed off to anything. If it’s something that feels right, I’ll go for it. If it’s something that doesn’t feel right, no matter what it is, I won’t do it. CA: I don’t get how you haven’t been signed to a major record label yet. How has that not happened? EL: [Laughs] I can’t answer that.

CA: It sounds like things are in the works that you can’t talk about right now. EL: [Laughs] yeah. CA: After hearing “Young Love,” I have the sense you’re inspired by ‘80s music and Taylor Swift. EL: Yeah, it’s funny the way that I write music. Whatever comes out is purely just what comes out. And it’s not overly saturated with influence, because I’m just making music all day long. I just don’t sit down and listen to stuff that’s going on, so a lot of times I think there’s a lot of energy in the air and ideas keep passing through. If it sounds like something, it’s a coincidence, I guess. Everything is in the eye of the beholder. CA: Was it a coincidence, too, that “Young Love” was released just days after Steve Grand’s “All-American Boy,” or was that released in reaction to his video? EL: The even more bizarre coincidence is that some of the

shots in the videos are similar. That’s what blew my mind more. The reality is, it seems like a shocking thing when people release a video that has same-sex partners in it, but if you were to take away the firework scene or the car scene, it’s just the same as Rihanna and Adele putting out videos and both having love stories. But because it’s two guys, it seems like it’s trying to be the same thing. CA: And not just two men, two gay men. Does that change things? EL: I guess I can say that we have different points of view and we’re at different places in our lives, and different people respond to different things. Some people, who are very free in their love and who they are, might relate to mine more because they see it as a celebration – about not having to hide who you are. But then there’s other people who might be struggling more and aren’t at that place in their life and they still feel that struggle and seeing [Grand’s version], they can relate to that more. They’re just telling two different stories. Obviously there’s something in the air if he and I both release a video this close to each other with … I almost don’t want to say similar content; it’s just our people speaking out for who they are and showing who they are in the world, regardless of where they are in their life. I’m very happy to be able to show my story and the lack of fear and acceptance with who I am. I didn’t have an agenda with the video, and I feel very fulfilled that I can help people feel better about themselves and shed fear and be who they are. And as an openly gay man, I definitely want to represent the community in a positive way. There’s a sense of pride with it. I just want everybody in the world to just be who they are without fear, and that transcends way beyond sexuality. CA: Are you at all bothered by comparisons between not just you and Steve Grand but with other gay artists? EL: That’s something you get used to and understand. I actually have been really happy about the response to the video. Most people are saying it’s not grouped into this “gay” category. It’s just a video about people in love. CA: Has being out affected your career in either direction? EL: It’s affected it for the better. I think being independent and calling my own shots has helped as well. When you’re being your authentic self and you are free with who you are, you will gravitate an audience. CA: There’s a big part of the gay community who admires your music as much as your looks. Have you thought about yourself as a heartthrob in the community? And how do you deal with that flattery and attention? EL: Oh man, I don’t even know how to answer that [laughs]. We all are human beings and we all have our insecurities, and people see you in a different way than you see yourself. But I don’t think of myself as a heartthrob. I don’t really know how to answer that question. —Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at



Wentworth Miller


Welcome out, Wentworth and Whishaw Actors going public with their sexual orientation may be a more and more frequent occurrence, but it’s still a big deal when they do it. And it’s especially good when it feels like their own decision, rather than, say, being hounded by the press to hurry up and get it over with after you’re seen kissing your personal trainer in public and then buying a house with her (or him). So welcome to the other side of gayness, Wentworth Miller – who chose to come out as a political statement when he refused to attend a Russian film festival – and Ben Whishaw, who apparently just got around to it being a relevant topic of conversation. Both men have upcoming projects in the works: Miller, the former “Prison Break” star who also wrote this year’s thriller “Stoker,” has just wrapped “The Loft.” Co-starring James Marsden, Karl Urban and “Modern Family” star Eric Stonestreet, it’s a thriller – due in theaters during the summer of 2014 – about five men who share a loft for extramarital affairs until one day the body of an unknown woman is found in the clandestine love nest. Meanwhile, the hardworking Whishaw has five projects on his plate, including the new Terry Gilliam film “The Zero Theorem,” starring as “Moby Dick” author Herman Melville in Ron Howard’s “The Heart of The Sea” and, of course, he’s got Daniel Craig to deal with as he continues his role of Q in the next James Bond movie. Meanwhile, other actors, it’s your turn; who’s next? Lance Bass producing hard-hitting gay doc When you’re one of the former members of ‘N Sync and you don’t happen to be Justin Timberlake, it’s easy to become the butt of uninformed where-are-they-now jokes. And as the lone gay member of the crew, Bass receives more than his share. So what has he been doing? Not sitting around, yearning for the good ol’ days, for starters. In addition to taking on various small acting roles and a brief boy-band reunion on MTV’s “Video Music Awards,” Bass is also stepping into the part of activist/producer with “Kidnapped For Christ.” A documentary from first-time director Kate Logan, it explores the extreme behavior modification techniques employed by conservative Evangelical Christian camps for troubled, often gay, teenagers. The film explores the inner workings of Escuela Caribe, a “therapeutic Christian boarding school” in the Dominican Republic run by Americans and, thanks to her past as a missionary herself, Logan gets more than the normal degree of access. Expect to be outraged and moved to action when it comes to an LGBT film festival near you.

DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD Naya Rivera’s ‘Home’ is full of Satan What does a singing, dancing lesbian cheerleader with a gold medal in sarcasm do on her summer break? Make a horror movie, of course. It’s not all featured spots in M&M commercials for Naya Rivera, who plays the girl-loving Santana on “Glee.” She’s using her spare time to climb the role-rung in Hollywood and, for young women, that usually means a horror film or two. She’ll star in “Home” – due sometime in 2014 – about a young woman investigating a house that appears to be haunted by the previous tenant, a woman who had chosen to invite the devil into her life. It co-stars “Maria Full of Grace” actor Catalina Sandino Moreno and from “The Client List,” Colin Egglesfield, Word is that Rivera does not play the demonic ghost. But wouldn’t be it kind of cool if she did? And if the ghost were the hero of the film? Somebody make this happen.

Amber Tamblyn


Amber Tamblyn is ‘Two and a Half Men’ resident lesbian Usually when a series is as long in the tooth as “Two and a Half Men,” the producers bring in a cute kid to boost the ratings. But with Angus T. Jones all grown up and no longer a series regular (not to mention notoriously bad-mouthing his childhood job as “filth”), the hit sitcom’s producers – already having replaced Charlie Sheen with Ashton Kutcher – are playing by their own rules once again. They’re bringing in a lesbian. Amber Tamblyn will join the show as Charlie’s long lost daughter Jenny, who moves to Los Angeles to become an actor and who shares all of her late father’s tastes, including his taste in women. It’s the coolest of possibilities, a bad-girl lesbian on prime time TV and not even wearing an “Orange Is The New Black” prison jumpsuit. Guess it’s time to watch our first episode of “Two and a Half Men.” Anthony Rapp has new jobs to make the rent Original star of “Rent” Anthony Rapp has joined the cast of the new musical “If/Then,” from the creative team behind “Next to Normal.” He’ll reunite with former “Rent” co-star Idina Menzel for the show, one that centers on a woman about to turn 40 who moves to New York in the hopes of starting a brand new life. The musical opens March 2014, which shouldn’t interfere too much with Rapp’s need to promote his new film, “Opening Night.” It’s a comedy from Ryan Dixon, Nena Girsh and Jack Henry Robbins, with Robbins directing. Co-starring Cheyenne Jackson, the story centers on a high school drama club, their teacher and a visiting B-list TV star, which makes it sound something like a kinder,

gentler “Waiting for Guffman.” It begins production this summer in Los Angeles so fans of anything that smells “Rent”- or “Glee”-adjacent can begin obsessing now. Philip Seymour Hoffman and John Cameron Mitchell are ‘Trending Down’ Showtime has given a pilot order to something that sounds very promising, something that doesn’t involve vampires or dragons. A dark comedy, “Trending Down,” will star Philip Seymour Hoffman as a middle-aged man who finds himself facing career obsolescence when his advertising agency is sold into new hands. Hoffman will costar with Kathryn Hahn (“Revolutionary Road”) and John Cameron Mitchell (“Hedwig and the Angry Inch”) will direct the pilot that’s being described as “a blistering attack on our youth-obsessed culture… a darkly comic examination of what it means to matter. Or matter not.” In other words, it’s about what’s going to happen to everyone when the cast of “Girls” takes their jobs away from them. And who better than Hoffman, a master of portraying miserable characters, comic or not, to embody the anxiety of the age? Can’t wait. Pee-Wee Herman returns 2014 is going to be an excellent year for television because that’s when Pee-Wee Herman will be back on it. Children (and adults) of the 1980s who worshipped at the altar of “Pee-Wee’s Playhouse” will see their hero return next year in a new TV project whose details aren’t fully known just yet. Paul Reubens, Pee-Wee’s creator, is 60 now and still, thankfully, happy to put on that too-tight suit. And he isn’t spilling much information beyond the fact that, along with the longanticipated Pee-Wee movie – to be produced by Judd Apatow – the show is a go and it will not necessarily be a reboot of “Playhouse.” One off or not, any Pee-Wee is better than no Pee-Wee at all. And as for that movie, if the Muppets can reboot successfully in theaters and remind the world how much they loved “Rainbow Connection,” now it’s “Tequila”’s time back in the sun as our national dancing-on-bars anthem. Matt Bomer finally gets to show up for work in pajamas He’s a busy guy, that Matt Bomer. “The White Collar” star also has a busy movie slate with this year’s “Winter’s Tale,” the film adaptation of Larry Kramer’s “The Normal Heart” and the indie comedy “Space Station 76.” So he’s probably a little relieved that his next gig doesn’t involve make-up, costume fittings or green screens, only arriving at a recording studio and wearing headphones for the animated feature “B.O.O.: Bureau of Otherworldly Operations.” He’ll be adding his voice to those of Seth Rogen, Rashida Jones and Melissa McCarthy in the family film about ghosts who work for a secret government agency that protects people from evil hauntings. Who knows what’s up after that. For all we know he’ll also return for the sequel to “Magic Mike.” But until that half-naked day, let’s allow the man a chance to do his job with bedhead. He’s earned that. —Romeo San Vicente makes them earn their bedhead. He can be reached at DeepInsideHollywood@

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 6–19, 2013




GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 6–19, 2013



The Loft finds success at World Series Over 4,000 athletes and their fans ascended upon our nation’s capital during the final week of August as 156 teams from the United States and Canada competed across five divisions in the 37th edition of the North American Gay Amateur Athletic Association (NAGAAA) World Series. Included among those teams were five squads from San Diego, who had qualified for Series berths by virtue of their play during America’s Finest City Softball League’s (AFCSL) spring season. The event is wildly popular because event planners have done a masterful job weaving the spirit of competition on the field with an exciting week of socializing away from the fields. World Series week is the sporting event I look forward to more than any I have ever played in, because both the organization and camaraderie are unmatched. The chance to travel to Washington was a no-brainer for most players. Even in the most remote locations, an event with 4,000 gay guys attending is going to be an enticing draw. Throw in fantastic sightseeing options during a week where our nation celebrated the 50 year anniversary of the March on Washington and Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech, and it truly was a special week to be on the East Coast. As manager of The Loft from the B division, I was attending my fourth Series; I missed last year’s and was excited to return. Because the week is action-packed

with little time for rest, I chose to fly out a few days early to get in my own time. The majority of my players flew in Monday, Aug. 26 in time to attend the opening ceremonies that were held at the fairgrounds adjacent to the ballpark. This annual event kicked off World Series week, was attended by a couple thousand people and was emceed by popular cast members of the CBS reality show “Amazing Race,” James and Jaymes. A drag queen performed the national anthems of Canada and the U.S. Each city sent representatives to a stage holding flags that bore the name of their hometown during a raucous roll call. Players also continued a great tradition by swapping city-themed T-shirts with new friends from around the country. And because the gays don’t travel hundreds or thousands of miles to not party, many attended the official after-event at a sponsor club. Pool play games began on Tuesday, Aug. 27 with fields located in the neighboring states of Virginia and Maryland. My team traveled to Virginia for afternoon games against the Knoxville Cyclones – who edged us for second place in 2011 – and Columbus Grizzlies. Whether it was rust or jet lag, we got off to a rough start in the first game with some shoddy defense, quickly falling behind 144. We pulled within 14-11 but could get no closer. With a three-hour break, we

ing 12-8 to a team that ultimately finished fourth. That afternoon, we squared off with familiar rivals from Los Angeles, the Killer B’s, who we have played no fewer than a dozen times over the past four years. We beat them twice at the 2011 Series in Chicago, but they got us this time in a lackluster 12-5 ballgame that eliminated us from title contention. Thursday evening, Andy Clark, co-owner of the Loft, treated the Loft players from the B and D teams to dinner and drinks. Over 40 people took over an Italian restaurant in Dupont Circle and eventually JR’s Bar & Grill. The teams compete in different divisions, and often in different venues, so this night was a great way to get to know fellow San Diegans better. Thanks to a new consolation tournament installed this year for teams outside the top 16 of each division, we were not done playing. We faced the Grizzlies again late Friday afternoon, Aug. 30 in the sweltering heat and again, we were victorious. Right away, we were pitted against the Atlanta

walked over to watch our friends, the Flicks Lawmen, as they defeated DC Capitol Punishment 9-7. Sitting around in the mid-90s heat and humidity was tough, but we were able to bounce back with a 19-10 thumping of the Grizzlies, thanks, in part, to home runs by Ian Bridges and Colt Woods. Our first game Wednesday, Aug. 28 was at the crack of dawn at fields in Maryland that were an hour away from the host hotel in downtown D.C. We put a thumping on the Arizona Ice and then sat around for five hours waiting for the double-elimination seeds to be announced. We earned the eighth overall seed (out of 39) and squared off against San Francisco Crush later that afternoon. After spotting them three runs in the top of the first, we bounced back with 10 of our own, en route to an easy 12-5 victory. On Thursday, Aug. 29, our first game came against a Dallas Xplosion team we had faced a few years ago. For whatever reason, our offense could not get on track as we did Ambush in what would turn out not score during the first to be the most exciting game of four innings, which usuthe tournament. ally spells doom. In the top Atlanta held a 4-1 lead in of the fifth and down 10-0, the fifth before we tied. They we scored eight runs then tacked on consecutive with one out rallies to jump to an 11-5 but were unlead entering the bottom able to pull off Ian Bridges of the seventh. We the comeback, of The Loft B scored four eventually fall(Photo by Grady Mitchell) times and had

the trying runs on base when I grounded out sharply to end the ballgame and our tournament. Saturday, Aug. 31 was a day reserved for the top teams in each division to play out their trophy games. None of the San Diego teams made it that far, with SOL coming the closest – they finished in ninth place in the 49-team C Division. Instead, most players from the five San Diego teams used the afternoon to get sightseeing done ahead of the closing ceremonies later that evening. While our results on the field fell short of expectations, in no way was the week anything but a success for The Loft. Long-time veterans Grady Mitchell and David Lewis were among our most consistent hitters. Randy Miller, longtime manager of and pitcher for the C Division Outlaws in AFCSL, took the mound for us against B opponents for the first time in years and not only did he hold his ground, he played remarkably well; Miller walked only two batters the entire week and generally kept opponents in check. Players from Bourbon Street Krush, The Loft, Flicks and SOL joined us in enjoying a fantastic week of on-field action, making new friends from across the country and a crazy week of post-game socializing. AFCSL will host its annual Autumn Classic tournament over Columbus Day Weekend in October, with approximately 100 teams expected to participate. To get involved as a player or volunteer in your local softball league, visit


The no excuse zone your excuses and establish a routine that will get you the results you want. Welcome to the no excuse zone.


FITNESS We’ve all heard of time zones, slow speed zones, construction zones, no fly zones, school zones and the like, but I would like to introduce you to the no excuse zone. As you embark on a new month and a new season, you have an important choice to make. Are you going to jump on the train to a healthy and fit lifestyle or opt for a layover until the New Year’s resolution season rolls around? Now is do or die for establishing a fitness routine before the busy holiday season arrives. Don’t miss out on this small window of opportunity to get back into the healthy habits that you may have abandoned during the past months. It’s time to bust through

No time? Make some One of the top excuses personal trainers nationwide hear time and time again about starting a fitness program is lack of time. Here is a simple math equation for those excusing themselves due to lack of time. This will help you put your daily schedules into a more realistic perspective. One hour of training time, three days per week is three hours. There are 168 hours in a full week. Twenty-four hours in a day minus eight or nine hours of sleeping, leaves 15 to 16 hours of awake time, per day. If you can’t take as little as 30 minutes per day out of a total of 16 waking hours to do something good for yourself, then you aren’t being realistic about the actual total number of hours in a day. To make sure that you carve out time and follow through on working out, it is helpful to actually schedule your workouts. Simply write your name in designated time slots each week. No energy? Get some While rest is important for recovering and repairing your mind and body, consistent inactivity can drain your motivation and energy levels. Having no energy can be a vicious cycle, because if you wait to start working out until you have enough energy,

then it will never happen. What you actually need to energize yourself is to get off the couch, step away from the electronics and get active. You will love the results you experience and enjoy the endorphins that are awakened when you physically push your mind and body. A body at rest stays at rest, while a body in motion stays in motion. You just have to start somewhere, and get the ball rolling because exercising regularly actually will increase your energy levels. The first result you will see after you start working out is increased overall energy. No money? No problem Getting fit doesn’t have to mean joining a gym with expensive introductory and monthly fees. It also does not mean buying a bunch of trendy fitness clothes and shoes to look the part, or buying a piece of equipment you swear today you’ll use at home, only to watch it become a clothes hanger down the line. An effective fitness routine can simply mean grabbing a group of friends or family members and doing calisthenics in a park (body weight squats, pushups, dips and lounges) or going for a jog around your neighborhood. Get up and walk the dog briskly – like you are late for a meeting – or imagine you have both: a meeting and a dog. You can be active for free if you just get out and get moving. Got bike? No direction? Just start To get started with a fitness routine that gets results, you need to first find a workout environment that fits your personality. Take the first step: make a call, go online or ask a friend for a referral. If you are a social butterfly who is moti-

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 6–19, 2013


vated by others, then a group workout environment may be your best option. If you are a shy person who prefers to work out alone, then you may enjoy a one-on-one personal training environment. Take into account your overall lifestyle, your stress levels and your personal goals when finding a routine that will help you get the results you want. Either way, just find an environment that fits your style and aim for at least 30 minutes, three times per week, of strength training and cardio exercise. Then, begin. If you’re looking for a quick but effective routine that can jumpstart your fitness regimen either in the gym or at home, start with a simple set of 10 pushups, 10 body-weight squats, 10 sit ups and 10 jumping jacks. Take a short break after finishing the set and then do it again, working your way up to completing the set of exercises three to five times. You’ll be working your whole body and getting your heart rate up. Squats and pushups are two top movements for working your total body. They require big muscle firing, and hence, use caloric burn and cardio maximally. You have now entered the no excuse zone. Stop making excuses and start making time for you and your health. If you put into place all of the above excuse-buster strategies, then you will have a clear path to achieving your health and fitness goals. —Gwen and Blake Beckcom own Fitness Together Mission Hills, offering personal training with qualified professionals by regular appointment in private suites. Exercise and nutritional programs are custom designed to fit your needs and abilities. Call 619-794-0014 for more information or to schedule a free fitness diagnostic and private training session.t




GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 6–19, 2013

Gay San Diego - September 6 2013  
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