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Volume 5 Issue 4 Feb. 21–March 6, 2014 Follow us on Facebook and Twitter







Five days of gay

4 op/ED

A native son has plans for Arizona Couples tax info

Morgan M. Hurley | GSD Editor

“If the Foundation is interested in producing the event on their own, we welcome it,” he said at the time. Foundation president and LGBT Weekly Publisher Stampp Corbin felt the show must go on. Bill Hardt was quickly hired to plan the large-scale party, but the Feb. 12, 2012 Mardi Gras Street Fair fell short. The Hillcrest Mardi Gras had been originally created to raise money for HBA neighborhood beautification projects and the Foundation’s LGBT scholarship program. Corbin said that scholarship giving fell by 50 percent this year due to last year’s lackluster attendance. Crowds were much smaller than were seen in previous years, according to attendees, and the night lacked a certain je ne sais quoi.

Arizona has never been thought of as much of a “go-to” destination for the LGBT community, but one native Arizonan is trying to change that. Ian Joseph, better known in San Diego by the name of Joey Konecek, recently licensed the “Gay Days” name and is expanding the brand to Phoenix this May. The “Gay Days” brand, which started more than 25 years ago, today brings 160,000 to the Orlando area and its 2012 expansion to Las Vegas has already grown to 45,000 attendees in just two years. “Gay Days Arizona” will take place May 8 – 12 at the newly remodeled Arizona Grand Resort and Spa, located in the shadows of the South Mountain Park and Preserve outside Phoenix. A seven-acre water park, a 25-person hot-tub, an award-winning 18-hole golf course, luxury all-suite accommodations, and spa amenities all within reach could lure those looking to create an alternative to all those other spring break parties in the desert. Joseph started his career in cruise industry sales and most

see Fat Tuesday, pg 8

see Gay Days, pg 2

7 tHEAtEr Revelers at Hillcrest Mardi Gras 2012 enjoy the street party.

A Winter debut


A time to eat

t sports

(photo by Cali Griebel)

Hillcrest Fat Tuesday: Mardi Gras gets a makeover Margie M. Palmer | GSD Reporter The Hillcrest Business Association (HBA) and Greater San Diego Business Association Charitable Foundation seem to have “kissed and made up” since last year’s Mardi Gras fallout. In December 2012, the HBA board of directors voted to forgo participation in the 2013 Hillcrest Mardi Gras; the event had been jointly owned and coproduced by both organizations for a dozen years at that point, but then-HBA executive director Benjamin Nichols said it was time to “take a step back and look at other options.” In previous years the HBA had taken on the majority of the work, he said in a press release, and their members had conducted all major activities for the production of the event including handling all the permitting, finances, logistics and coordination of promotions.

The ‘visual voices’ of North Park San Diego Art Department spawns art, community and more Morgan M. Hurley | GSD Editor

Play ball!

Index news Briefs ..……………4 community Voices ..……5 wedding Guide .....….….8 classifieds……………12

Five years ago, a small group of local artists inadvertently created a community among themselves while honing their artistic skills at the San Diego Art Department (SDAD). Since then, they formalized their existence, established a weekly meet-up, and began to show their work at solo shows and larger exhibits around the county. The group recently published a book highlighting many of the artists and three of their best works, most of which originated through class participation at SDAD. Titled simply, “Ray Street Artists,” the 78-page, glossy, 8- by 8-inch soft cover book quietly hit the shelves near the end of 2013, but its contributors are now gearing up for an exhibition that will mark its official launch. “Art in the Garden” will take place Saturday,

March 1 and consist solely of work found in the “Ray Street Artists” book. Lisa Tear, one of the many artists profiled therein, is opening up the idyllic outdoor garden patio of her La Jolla home for the four-hour exhibition. “[Tear’s] home has always been owned by an artist,” said Mission Hills resident Ari Kate Ashton, the group’s founding member and mentor. Ashton — who has been an instructor at SDAD for six years — said she decided to assemble the group in 2008 after recognizing the talent had “moved well past being students,” and named them after the North Park art school’s address. As the educational arm of the non-profit San Diego Art Institute headquartered in Balboa Park, the SDAD currently hosts 19 different instructors and supports dozens of classes for all ages on various art subjects, from introductory classes on watercolor and drawing, to stained glass and

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“Self Portrait” by Patric Stillman, acrylics and faux encaustic (photo by Krista tomlin photography) basket weaving and everything else in between. “We have a large number of LGBT students at SDAD,” said Ashton, adding that she is a member of the community herself. “What I’ve

see SDAD, pg 2


GAY SAN DIEGO Feb. 21–March 6, 2014




learned is that artists have kind of been on the fringe of society for centuries, so they are very inclusive of any minority.” According to SDAD’s website, their mission is “to establish itself as a sacred place that encourages the creativity of artists of all ages and stimulates the ongoing flow of ideas and expression.” Ashton said she assists her students in first establishing themselves as artists and then taking their art beyond the studio, something she calls “art to market.” “I teach them to find their visual voice and develop a body of work that they can then sell,” Ashton said. She said her “Developing the Artist” is one of the only classes of its kind as many often frown upon teaching the semantics of marketing an artist’s work, but Ashton feels it is an important step in any artist’s career. “Some disagree with me, but what’s the point of making art if it never leaves the studio?” she said. Patric Stillman, one of the artists profiled in the book, agrees. “So many young artists are rooted in an esoteric mindset — a bohemian lifestyle creating art that is not meant for everyone,” he said. “In contrast, I find Ray Street Artists as a whole are more interested in connecting with and sharing their messages with the public.” Stillman took first place last year at the Art of Pride exhibit during San Diego Pride’s festival. His piece, entitled “Cut Sleeve V,” is a recurring im-

age in his work and his award earned Stillman more than a ribbon and cash prize. “[It] was a wonderful recognition of my creativity, but privately, it made me proud as it also held significant relevance to my gay spirit,” he said, adding that the term “cut sleeve” comes from an ancient Chinese stor y and is still used to refer to homosexual men today.

“Ray Street Artists” profiles 18 different artists associated with the San Diego Art Department. (Courtesy Ray Street Artists) “Personally, this story means a lot to me because when I was a teen living in the farmlands of Minnesota, I came across it and it was perhaps the first time that I understood that I was not alone in my feelings and that being gay didn’t have to be this shameful thing that the world was telling me,” Stillman said. The Ray Street Artists group is comprised of 25 members but only 18 were included in the book, a decision Ashton said was based on the quantity of work they have accomplished. Ashton and Lesley Anderson, the current education director at SDAD, reviewed dozens of pieces put forth for inclusion and chose the artwork that best represented each selected artist’s work. The art that made the cut runs the

gamut of mediums, and makes use of acrylics, oils, metal, wood, and mixed media. Along with the three pieces chosen, an extensive bio for each artist accompanies their work, and both Ashton and Anderson have work in the book as well. Though members of the Ray Street Artists group often participate in Ray at Night, North Park’s monthly art event, none of them own studios on the actual street and many even travel from as far away as Poway and Carlsbad to attend their weekly classes or meet ups at SDAD. Aside from their recent shared interest in the book’s publication, the Ray Street Artists have become a tight-knit group over the last five years. They meet weekly to paint, critique each other’s work, discuss ways to further develop their portfolios, and to generally support one another’s artistic endeavors. “As an artist, you never know where you’ll find that spark of innovation, and for me and this crew, we often provide that to each other,” Stillman said. “Art in the Garden” will take place from 1 – 5 p.m. at 6112 Waverly Ave. in La Jolla. Wine and appetizers will be served, the “Ray Street Artists” book will be available for purchase for $27.95, and music by local musician Mike McGill will be provided. Admission is to the event is free. For more information about the exhibition or the Ray Street Artists’ group, visit their website at or find them on Facebook. You can also learn more about art classes and in house exhibits at FRoM PAGe 1

GAYDAYs recently spent two years in San Diego working for a high-profile LGBT travel company before he said he was “offered the opportunity of a lifetime” by a member of his extended family — the resources to produce his own annual event. Originally raised Mormon in Mesa, Az., Joseph said he was never really part of the LGBT community there. Instead he and his partner of five years lived a “quiet life” on the outskirts of town and didn’t go out much. When that relationship ended in 2010, he decided he needed a change of pace, so he packed up his two dachshunds and headed west in 2011. While in San Diego, Joseph said he finally found his place in the community and made all the right connections that made this new venture a possibility. Now he is bringing his sense of community back home. “We want to make Arizona more of an LGBT destination,” he said, referring also to members of his family that are all part of Ian Joseph Presents. “There is a lot of cool stuff to do here, it’s beautiful — just don’t come June through September.” Once this year’s event ends, Joseph plans to take up residence in both cities, but for now, he wants his friends in San Diego to experience Gay Days in Arizona. “It’s an easy trip for San Diegans, it is five and a half hours by car and everything is going to be located on the property with few exceptions,” Joseph said, adding that there will be some off-site horseback riding, and group mountain biking and hiking trips will also be offered.

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Ian Joseph Presents is planning 15 different events during “Gay Days AZ” and they are meant to beckon both men and women to this desert oasis. Events include a golf tournament benefitting Phoenix Pride, a commitment ceremony contest, a “Splash Dance” party, a high-energy dance party, an expo with 50 LGBT and LGBT-friendly vendors, drag queen bingo, various pool parties, and a variety of other daily activities for both men and women. The “Sunrise Pass” is a weekend pass that includes all events and is only $199 until the end of February. Sponsors currently include Bud Light, Instinct Magazine, a new San Diego energy drink business called #DitchTheCan, and Mrster Modern Union Experts. Joseph will be at Gossip Grill on March 14 and Urban MO’s on March 15 promoting the event giving away plenty of swag and free passes. For more information on the events, the host resort, or to purchase a pass visit

Gay Days AZ’s Ian Joseph

(photo by Krista tomlin photography)


LISA KEEN THE KEEN FILES Holder adresses HRC U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder told a Human Rights Campaign audience in New York [Feb. 8] that, beginning [Feb. 10], he “will — for the first time in histor y — formally instruct all Justice Department employees to give lawful same-sex marriages full and equal recognition, to the greatest extent possible under the law.” But there have been some mixed assessments of how big this news really is. Holder said his new policy is a response to the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling last June in U.S. v. Windsor. Many of the federal government’s agencies have issued new regulations in response to that ruling, striking down the key provision of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). Holder said the new policy would have “important, real-world implications for same-sex married couples that interact with the criminal justice system.” Specifically, he noted same-sex spouses would now have the same rights as spouses in heterosexual marriages not to testify against their spouse in a civil or criminal trial. Same-sex couples will be able to file bankruptcy jointly. Federal prisoners with same-sex spouses will be eligible for visits

from their spouses, escorted trips to attend their spouse’s funeral. And public safety officers with same-sex spouses will receive the same benefits as their heterosexually married peers. The mainstream media reportedly the news widely. HRC President Chad Griffin called it a “landmark announcement” that “will change the lives of countless committed gay and lesbian couples for the better” and has “more profound” effects in the long-term. Jon Davidson, legal director for Lambda Legal, says the announcement is “quite significant.” “It instructs all government attorneys to respect all marriages of same-sex couples, regardless of the laws of their state of residence to argue for recognition of their marriages for all purposes,” Davidson said. But Gar y Buseck, legal director of Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders, said the “substance” of the announcement was less impressive. Buseck said many of the benefits touted as part of the new policy were already in place, adding that while there is important “symbolism” in the announcement, “bankruptcy was a done deal several years ago and the other items are good but certainly not far-reaching.” In June 2011, the largest federal bankruptcy court in the United States ruled in re: Balas that DOMA violates the equal protection guarantee of the U.S. Constitution. In a strongly worded decision, the 20 judges participating in the decision ruled unanimously “there is no valid governmental basis for DOMA.” By then, Holder had already advised the courts that the DOJ would not defend DOMA and House Speaker John Boehner decided not to appeal the decision. “It seems like Holder is spinning it as his agency — DOJ — coming on board with respect for our married couples and adopting a place of celebration rule,” Buseck said. “I didn’t immediately see it as a big deal that DOJ was somehow officially coming on board with the general trend post-Windsor. But perhaps I am not giving them enough credit.”

In his other remarks [of Feb. 8], Holder told the Human Rights Campaign fundraiser audience in New York City that he thinks the struggle for LGBT rights has reached “a new frontier in the fight for civil rights.”

U.S. Attorney General eric Holder (

“This is no time to rest on our laurels,” Holder said. “This is no time to back down, to give up, or to give in to the unjust and unequal status quo. Neither tradition nor fear of change can absolve us of the obligation we share to combat discrimination in all its forms. And, despite ever ything that’s been achieved, each of us has much more work to do.” A first look at Sochi LGBT visibility during the first few days of the Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia, included some high profile political “messages,” two gay inclusive television commercials, and several surprise choices by both Russian games organizers and openly gay athletes. It was Olympic organizers at the speed skating stadium who chose to play the iconic gay anthem “YMCA” over the public



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GAY SAN DIEGO Feb. 21–March 6, 2014


address system during Saturday’s competition. And it was openly lesbian athlete Daniela Iraschko-Stolz who reportedly told reporters, “I don’t think it’s a good idea to make protests here, no one cares.” Most Americans are getting their Olympic coverage via NBC’s nightly broadcasts of selected, edited events, as well as some live coverage during the day. Although broadcast of some of the first events began on Thursday, Februar y 6, the most-watched programming started with the opening ceremony Friday night. NBC led its opening ceremony coverage with an inter view taped by anchor Bob Costas via satellite with President Obama on Thursday. In that inter view, Costas asked the president why he, the vice president, and First Lady did not attend. President Obama said they all had busy schedules and “a lot going on,” and pointed out that he hasn’t attended any other Olympics since taking office in 2009. Costas pointed out that the president chose three openly gay athletes to be part of the 10-member U.S. presidential delegation to the opening and closing ceremonies, saying that seemed to be sending a message. President Obama acknowledged he was. “There is no doubt we wanted to make it ver y clear that we do not abide by discrimination in anything, including discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation,” said President Obama. (The full inter view is available at NBC’s Olympics website, International Olympic Committee President Thomas Bach seemed to chide President Obama with his own remarks at the opening ceremony. Although he said the Olympics are about “embracing human diversity in great unity,” he called on “political leaders of the world” to “have the courage to address your disagreements in a peaceful, direct, and political dialogue and not on the backs of these athletes.” However, many people were attempting to find politics on the backs of the

see Keen, pg 11



GAY SAN DIEGO Feb. 21–March 6, 2014


Cheli shines So proud to call this wonderful woman a friend — yes, selfish of me, but sometimes we get to be a little selfish [See “The activist in all of us,” Vol. 5, Issue 3]! And so grateful to have this wonderful woman as a board member/vice-president of Lambda Archives of San Diego (yes, tooting our own horn). And really excited that this wonderful Cheli will be creating our new volunteer leadership opportunities at Lambda Archives. If you want to get in on the ground floor with Cheli on that, just let us know. Thank you, Cheli, for the life you live. —Maureen Steiner via

Gossip Girls

editorial What DoMA means for your taxes By David Williams, chief tax of ficer at Intuit Last year’s Supreme Court ruling overturning parts of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) was happy news for legally married same-sex couples. The ruling had far-reaching implications — one of which is that these couples are now treated as married for federal tax purposes and can take advantage of the same federal tax benefits previously only available to people in heterosexual marriages. This milestone in tax equality could save legally married same-sex couples time and money when it comes to filing taxes and may mean a reduction in their tax liability. Here are some of the federal tax benefits for which legally married same-sex couples may be eligible: The “marriage bonus” Depending on your income together, you may receive what is known as a “marriage bonus” when filing jointly and see a possible reduction in your tax liability since tax rates are typically lower for married couples filing jointly. For example, a married couple that earns about $80,000 per year may see a savings of about $500 when filing jointly without considering additional deductions they may be entitled to. Easier tax prep and lower cost You will have it easier when it comes to filing your taxes since you can now file one federal tax return and possibly one state return — at least in states that recognize same-sex marriages. Even better, you can use tax software to file your returns and, as result, save a significant amount of money. You will no longer have to pay high fees to have multiple federal and state tax returns prepared. Dependents and spouse credits When you file a joint return as a married couple, you will be able to take advantage of valuable tax deductions and credits for your children, other dependents, or your spouse. Some examples include: • Dependency Exemption – This exemption may mean an additional deduction from income of

$3,900 per dependent and an additional $3,900 for your spouse. • Earned Income Tax Credit - When you file as a married couple you may be eligible for an Earned Income Tax Credit worth up to $6,044 depending on your income and how many kids you have. • Education Credits and Deductions - If you, your spouse, or your kids went to college in 2013, you may be able to claim the Tuition and Fees Deduction worth of to $4,000 for your college expenses. Family Savings A sur viving spouse in a same-sex marriage can now take advantage of the estate tax marital deduction, which allows an unlimited deduction from the gross estate of property passing to the other spouse. You can also gift money and take advantage of a doubled annual gift tax exclusion of $28,000. Amending previous returnsYou have a choice to go back and amend your tax returns for any of the last three years if your new status would increase your refund to file a joint tax return. Help for same-sex couples TurboTax can help same-sex couples get ever y dollar they deser ve. It takes the guesswork out of knowing whether you’ll get a larger refund by filing amended returns for any of the last three years. Check out the online free tool/ com/tax-tools/calculators/taxcaster/past] to help you quickly and easily find out if you will get more money back by amending your 2010, 2011, and 2012 tax returns as a married couple. TurboTax is providing the TurboTax for tax year 2010, 2011 and 2013 for free, so you can easily amend any of the past 3 years tax returns. If you want or need help amending, TurboTax has credentialed tax professionals available to amend your tax return for you for $99 per amended return. When preparing your 2013 taxes, TurboTax will walk you through your federal tax return and provide specific guidance on filing your state tax return, making sure you get ever y tax deduction and credit you’re entitled to as a married couple. t

PUBLISHER David Mannis (619) 961-1951


ACCOUNTING Priscilla Umel-Martinez (619) 961-1962

EDITOR Morgan M. Hurley (619) 961-1960

ACCOUNT ExECUTIvES Sloan Gomez (619) 961-1954


ASSISTANT EDITOR Hutton Marshall (619) 961-1952

Jerry Kulpa (619) 961-1964

ART DIRECTOR Rebecah Corbin (619) 961-1961 PRODUCTION ASSISTANT Vincent Meehan (619) 961-1961

Mike Rosensteel (619) 961-1958

Lisa Peterson (619) 961-1956 Yana Shayne (619) 961-1963 SALES & MARKETING INTERN Michael Kean Moises Romero

Charlene Baldridge Max DiSposti Lisa Keen Michael Kimmel Paul McGuire Ian Morton Margie M. Palmer Jeff Praught Frank Sabatini Jr.

WEB DESIGN Kim Espinoza

I’m happy to hear of all new ideas & all [See “Where the girls will surely be,” Vol. 5, Issue 3]. As a disabled person I like to point out there you must have accessibilty for wheelchairs & allow service dogs in your place or patio areas. Also I hope you will have smoke-free patios. Low noise area would be nice for those who have issues with their ears. For those who have food allergies it would be wise to have glutenfree & nut free menu. It would truly bring in more customers to your place. To help with making awareness to certain charities like cancer or AIDS … I suggest a night where you could have fundraising events for these causes … just a few ideas. I would love to be able to come visit, haven’t been able to due to the loudness of the place in the past. I haven’t been back since getting my service dog. Good luck with the place. Sincerely, Julianna —Julianna Olson via I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it! Can’t wait to eat on Dolly Parton haha. Thanks for the write up Morgan, see you there. —Trenay Hardman via MoeMoe, CONGRATULATIONS!! You’re an amazing woman who’s worked her ass off and has helped make Gossip a HUGE success! Keep doing what YOU do and you’ll be #1 in no time!! —Jen via

Art as therapy Art can be very therapeutic! Great article! [See “Inspirations from a soul survivor,” Vol. 5, Issue 3] —Jennine Estes via gay-sd.comt

GAY NEWS BRIEFS HILLCREST SHUTTLE SERvICE ROLLS OUT NEW TROLLEy The Uptown Community Parking District put its new, brightred trolley into action Jan. 31. The trolley is part of a free ser vice that shuttles passengers from one end of Hillcrest to the other. The ser vice begins at the ParkHillcrest valet station near the intersection of Fifth and University avenues and heads east to the Hillcrest DMV, with several stops along University Avenue. The shuttle runs Friday and Saturday evenings from 5 – 11 p.m. and Sundays from 9 a.m. – 2 p.m. to coincide with the Hillcrest Farmers’ Market. “This free ser vice is made possible by the City allocating a percentage of area parking meter funds to us,” said Uptown Community Parking District’s Elizabeth Hannon. “This is not only a great convenience for our residents, but works to improve both parking and traffic issues.” For more information, visit

OPINIONS/LETTERS Gay San Diego encourages letters to the editor and guest editorials. Please email both to Include phone number and address for verification. We reserve the right to edit letters and editorials for brevity and accuracy. Letters should be no longer than 350 words in length unless approved by staff editors. Letters and guest editorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher or staff. SUBMISSIONS/NEWS TIPS Press releases and story ideas are welcome. Send press releases, tips, photos or story ideas to For breaking news and investigative story ideas contact the editor by phone or email. DISTRIBUTION GAY San Diego is distributed free, biweekly, every other Friday. COPYRIGHT 2013. All rights are reserved.

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communitY voices

Seven steps of premarital skill building Premarital skill building: What’s that? you may ask. When my clients get engaged, the straight couples usually assume that they could benefit from polishing up their relationship/communication skills. Ironically, LGBT couples seldom think about this. I guess we haven’t (yet) had the cultural support that comes from decades of preparing for successful marriages. When you’re engaged, it’s usually very exciting. You visualize a life with your fiancé and how great it’s all going to be. Excellent! Good start, but how do you nurture that positivity? What can you do to help that joy last? Successful marriages aren’t usually based on common interests or physical attraction (although those certainly don’t hurt); they’re based on what I call the Three Musketeers of mutual respect, commitment to the relationship, and deep, underlying friendship. Notice that I didn’t say “love.” Love is great, but love can fade awfully fast in the face of trouble. While it sure feels good to imagine the happiness you and your fiancé will (hopefully) experience, it’s smart to anticipate conflicts and power struggles too … ’cause they’re gonna happen. It’s also smart for couples to get better at working through problems and conflicts. Here are seven steps you can take to help make your marriage the best it can be:


LIFE BEyOND THERAPy 1. Define the marriage you want. Talk with your fiancé not only about the ceremony and the honeymoon — the fun stuff — but how you envision your life together. What is important to each of you (e.g., financial security, adventure, great sex, travel, owning your own home, having kids)? Plan for the good stuff and anticipate what obstacles may stand in your way. This leads me to #2. 2. Anticipate problems. Most of us don’t want to go there. We just hope that problems don’t happen to us. If only. No matter whom we marr y, it won’t always go smoothly. When I work with couples, I help them identify the mostlikely potential problem areas and come up with strategies to work with when they raise their ugly heads.

see Kimmel, pg 11

GAY SAN DIEGO Feb. 21–March 6, 2014


Where is the San Diego queer black voice? I have found the past few months rather interesting in the dynamic of recognition of queer people of color. The response to Caucasian rapper Mackelmore’s Grammy wins and performance of “Same Love” brought a backlash from both the African-American and queer communities for his “appropriation” of queer and black culture. Two of the highest profile U.S. athletes to come out as gay (Jason Collins and Michael Sam) are black, but that doesn’t seem to be a significant part of the national conversation. Whether queer black men are marginalized on “dating” apps has been appearing in many of my Facebook friends’ profiles. Are the voices of queer people of color being heard and supported? This is a complex question and I can’t say I really know the answer. Though I am a person that identifies as both queer and black, I know that neither I nor any one individual is the definitive voice of a community. So, for Black History Month, I want to highlight opportunities in San Diego where queer black voices to be heard. Charles Patmon is the director of Urban Pride (formerly “Ebony Pride”) and the artistic director at Common Ground Theatre Company. There is often a contention that San Diego Pride does not fully represent the many-layered LGBTQ community, and Urban Pride is an effort that works to identify and fill the gaps for the black community. From working to insure culturally representative entertainment at the

I A N M o RTo N

PROFILES IN ADvOCACy San Diego Pride “Hip-Hop Reloaded” stage to creating diversity events that include fashion shows of historical African clothing, Urban Pride addresses both the local and international stories of this community. For 50 years, Common Ground Theatre has been instrumental in bringing important stage works to San Diego, written from the perspective of people of color. In September 2013, Patmon directed a production of “Before It Hits Home,” an award-winning play by Cheryl West. This significant story chronicles the issues of MSM “down-low” relationships of AfricanAmerican men with primary female intimate partners and the impact of HIV in these communities. Additionally, he performed in the 2012 San Diego Musical Theater production of “Rent,” playwright Jonathan Larson’s contemporary vision of the opera “La Boheme,” addressing themes

of poverty, same-sex relationships, race and AIDS in 1990s New York City. To learn more about shows and events at Common Ground, check out Because HIV/AIDS continues to disproportionately impact African and African-American MSM communities, it is important to know that there are local agencies and efforts equipped with the appropriate cultural sensitivity to address black communities. “Our Place” through San Ysidro Health Centers provides case management, education workshops and support groups in the southeastern San Diego. Here you will find community leaders like Patrice Baker and Acintia Wright working on community initiatives and HIV testing events. Find out more under then “our-place-hivprogram” under support services. Each month, you will find Acintia and Patrice working side-by-side with other San Diego County clinic and agency members at the San Diego Faith Based Action Coalition. This collaborative effort is responsible for many of the “National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day” and “National Week of Prayer for the Healing of AIDS” events in San Diego County. Additionally, they serve as an advisory committee to San Diego County Health and Human Services. Their meetings are open, so this is a great opportunity to participate in the conversation about HIV risk, stigma, prevention strategies and treatment in the black community. Find the “Faith Based Action Coalition of San Diego” on Facebook. In the United States, the percentage of black students that do not complete high school is 20 percent, while those that complete a four-year college degree comprise only 17 percent of the African-American population. Tinesia Conwright — founder of DETOUR (Depositing Empowerment Through Outreach & Urban Redevelopment) and the F.A.N.C.Y. (Focused And Naturally Confident Youth) conference — has decided that the neighborhood of her youth, southeastern San Diego, is going to buck those trends. She exemplifies the young leader that has decided she will overcome any barrier to her educational goals, and after achieving her master’s degree, will invest in the welfare of the next generations. Her efforts continue to build bridges between young women of color and their healthy relationships, academics and career goals. Fine out more at The discussion revolving around queer people of color’s voices is an important one that addresses a minority within a minority. It behooves each of us that value diversity within the LGBTQ community to seek out and support programs that champion a cultural rainbow of shared experiences. Attend a meeting, find a queer hip-hop artist and attend a concert, check out a Common Ground production or buy a book by a queer writer of color — just find (and listen to) those voices! —Ian Morton has worked in the HIV field since 1994 when he began volunteering with AIDS Response Knoxville. He currently serves as outreach liaison for the AIDS Research Institute at UCSD. To nominate a person or organization to be featured in Profiles in Advocacy, please submit name, affiliation and contact information to t


GAY SAN DIEGO Feb. 21–March 6, 2014

communitY voices

Nevada AG withdraws from marriage case The Vatican: power and

PAU L M C G U I R E LEGALLy LGBT It doesn’t happen very often. Sometimes while a case is waiting to be heard by a court the law changes enough that arguments previously made become indefensible. When this happens, attorneys are expected to pay attention to these changes and react accordingly. The Nevada Attorney General had filed briefs with the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals in defense of the Nevada ban on same-sex marriage. The same day these briefs were filed the 9th Circuit changed the way it treats equal protection challenges based on sexual orientation. The case involved a challenge to the removal of a gay man from a jury. That case is known as SmithKline Beecham v. Abbott Laboratories. The ruling in SmithKline is likely to require a ruling that the Nevada same-sex marriage ban is unconstitutional because it requires courts in the 9th Circuit to take a closer look at equal protection challenges to laws that

impact a group because of sexual orientation. In the SmithKline case, the 9th Circuit considered the question of whether it is improper in a civil action to strike a juror on the basis of his sexual orientation. The panel determined that it was. The panel of judges for the 9th Circuit revisited the previous decisions that had required equal protection challenges based on sexual orientation to be examined under rational basis review. A previous decision that rational basis should apply to such challenges was made in High Tech Gays, a 1990 case decided before The U.S. Supreme Court that decided Lawrence v. Texas. The panel examined the effect the Windsor decision had on the level of scrutiny required be applied to these challenges. The panel concluded that Windsor applied a form of heightened scrutiny to challenges based on sexual orientation. Prior to the decision in SmithKline, the Nevada Attorney General could have argued that Windsor did not apply heightened scrutiny. However, once the 9th Circuit made it clear that Windsor required heightened scrutiny in the 9th Circuit, those arguments no longer make sense. Because Nevada is covered by the 9th Circuit, the decision in SmithKline to apply heightened scrutiny to equal protection challenges based on sexual orientation is likely to control the result in the challenge to Nevada’s same-sex marriage ban. As a result, the Nevada Attorney General filed a motion in the 9th Circuit requesting that the State’s previous brief filed in support of the same-sex marriage ban be withdrawn. The 9th Circuit quickly granted that request.

This leaves only the Coalition for the Protection of Marriage to argue at the 9th Circuit level. The Coalition is a Nevada group that was formed when the Nevada amendment was first proposed to ban same-sex marriage. The Coalition has filed briefs in previous marriage cases supporting marriage bans including briefs with the U.S. Supreme Court in support of California’s Proposition 8. With the Coalition as the only remaining party interested in upholding Nevada’s ban, it might be difficult for a 9th Circuit decision striking down the ban to be appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court. This is because Nevada’s state Attorney General was the last remaining party in the case supporting the interests of the State of Nevada. This means that a decision by the 9th Circuit striking down the ban would likely be controlling throughout the states in the 9th Circuit. At minimum, a favorable decision by the 9th Circuit would also apply to Oregon where same-sex marriage is not yet available but the state does recognize domestic partnerships. Hopefully the reasoning used by the 9th Circuit in SmithKline will be followed in other circuits considering similar questions over the coming year. This could lead to similar reasoning being used in the 10th Circuit where the challenges to Oklahoma and Utah’s bans are being heard. —Paul D. McGuire is an openly bisexual family law attorney in San Diego who assists families dealing with dissolution of marriage and domestic partnerships. He writes a blog on family law and LGBT issues at

the pursuit of happiness

MAX DISPoSTI NORTH COUNTy UPDATE I am not a fashion designer, a pasta producer, nor a culinary expert in Italian cuisine. I don’t buy labeled shoes or go to church on Sunday and my family does not come from the mafia. However, I am Italian. Born and raised in the City of Rome, I pride myself in the history, the arts and the beautiful Mediterranean landscapes that surrounded me for 30 years. I was also an activist, a leader in the national student’s movement and of course, an LGBT troublemaker. I have experienced first-hand the oppressive, chauvinist macho culture, witnessed the violence of homophobia, and struggled with the powers of “mother” Church. Although I left 15 years ago,

things have not really changed. Italy, along with Greece, has become an anomaly within the European Union. There are no adoptions or domestic partnerships for LGBT couples, no hospital visitation rights, no hate crimes law, no antidiscrimination policies, nothing. Just a shameless silence, at times interrupted only by the news of another teen lost to suicide. Despite the tireless efforts of local and national LGBT organizations and even the increasingly popular support for LGBT equality, nothing seems to be really changing. There are TV and news programs where Vatican officials pronounce themselves on any social matters; mental health, sexuality, sociology, and even science. They shamelessly make up statistics as they go over the disruptive idea of an LGBT couple raising their child, and they are still addressing homosexuality as a curable disease. Vatican City owns many radios, TV stations, a bank, and different political parties that have all been “governed” since the beginning of the Republic in 1948. They own priceless art and real estate all around the world, they draft legislation, push their political agenda with an army of religious activists that have been infringing on anyone’s religious freedom, all

see Disposti, pg 11




‘The Winter’s Tale’ marks Edelstein’s directorial debut

(l to r) A.Z. Kelsey as Florizel and Maya Kazan as Perdita (photo by Jim Cox) Two kings, a pregnant queen, an infamous bear (“exit, pursued by ...”), a storm to put “Lear” to shame, almost enough metronomes to satisfy Györgi Ligeti, a bunch of Bohemian bumpkins, and a child appropriately named Perdita — add to these one king’s catastrophic jealous rage, a pronouncement from the Oracle at Delphi, and two of Shakespeare’s strongest women, and you have “The Winter’s Tale” as staged by

Barry Edelstein, a noted Shakespeare scholar and director who became Globe artistic director just a year ago. Admittedly this writer’s favorite Shakespeare romance, the play is set in motion by the jealous rage of Sicilia’s King Leontes (film and TV star Billy Campbell), who suspects that his queen, Hermione (Natacha Roi), and their houseguest, Bohemia’s King Polixenes (Paul Michael

Valley), are having an affair, own daughter by an Old Shepand further, that the child she herd (Mark Nelson), whose son carries almost to term is not his is a Clown (Brendan Spieth). but Polixenes’. Leontes orders She falls in love with Florizel Camillo (Cornell Womack) to kill (A.Z. Kelsey), Polixenes’ son. the Bohemian king, and Camillo, Uninvited to the har vest festival sensing the wrong-headedness that will celebrate their engageof this, flees and takes Polixenes ment is a dastardly pickpocket with him. named Autolycus (Paul Kandel), In addition to Hermione, intent on foiling the play’s happy Shakespeare’s other strong ending and furious when woman is the fierce courtier he actually moves the Paulina (Angel Desai), whose husplot toward a wondrous, band, Antigonus (Mark Nelson), magical denouement in falls victim to the bear when he Sicilia. takes the spurned infant Perdita Blessedly, (played at 16 in Act II by all the actors Maya Kazan) to exile on speak the same the shores of Bohemia. language. To his Never mind that Bohemia credit, Edelstein has no coastline. uses many young Perhaps the most actors from the tragic casualty of Old Globe/USD Leontes’ rage is MFA program. his son Mamillius Campbell, seen (appealing and here previously natural 12-year-old in John Rando’s Jordi Bertran), 1997 production who is torn of “The Comedy from his of Errors” and mother. In BoBrendon Fox’s hemia, Perdita is rescued and (l to r) Billy Campbell as Leontes and Cornell Womack as Camillo (photo by Jim Cox) raised as his

GAY SAN DIEGO Feb. 21–March 6, 2014


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2003 production of “Much Ado About Nothing,” is impressive in limning a possible insanity defense for Leontes’ actions. During Hermione’s imprisonment he becomes wan and almost catatonic, and upon hearing news of and witnessing his loved ones’ deaths he is convincing in his histrionic grief. Those who are able to push away their inner “yes, but” voices during a production of “The Winter’s Tale” are rewarded, despite having to endure the tedious clowns (the writer admits prejudice against bumpkins), intensified by Kandel’s song-and-dance cater wauling and shtick. The directorial application of metronomes (tempus fugit) and a plethora of keyboards — including a charming, practical toy grand piano, an upright, a concert grand and even a rude pump organ — is enjoyable but stretched a bit beyond the metaphoric pale. Furthermore, the music sometimes obfuscates text. Music director Taylor Peckham visibly and excellently performs Michael Torke’s brilliant original score, written for Edelstein’s 2003 Broadway production, which originated at New York’s Classic Stage Company. It puts one in mind of Gershwin on Satie and impending dissonance. Wilson Chin’s scenic design is wondrous, especially as lighted by Russell H. Champa. Judith Dolan’s sumptuous gowns are absolutely luscious, and Fitz Patton is the sound designer. Hopefully he will tweak the balance. Now that the Edelstein Old Globe directorial debut has come and gone, patrons look for ward to a future rife with intelligence, excellence and stability.t



GAY SAN DIEGO Feb. 21–March 6, 2014 FRoM PAGe 1


Images from the 2012 Mardi Gras street party; DJ Nikno (top right) will again be spinning for 2014 attendees. (photos by Cali Griebel)

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But now, the former Mardi Gras Street Fair has been reprised and revamped and is receiving a muchneeded makeover. HBA President Jonathan Hale said that although they’ve renewed their partnership with the Foundation, the HBA has completely taken over production. “We’re moving forward with a new version of the event and have rebranded it as Hillcrest Fat Tuesday,” he said, “and it will have a bigger, better and larger footprint.” The 2014 version will take place along University Avenue between 10th Avenue and Herbert Street, Hale said, and will include a parade, street performers, an outdoor nightclub and

dance party, gourmet food vendors and a performance stage. HBA Executive Director Sonya Stauffer said the all-ages parade will start at Herbert Street and run west down University Avenue to 10th Avenue. She said some of the participating floats and contingents will stop and stage themselves between Vermont Street and 10th Avenue — the area to be cordoned-off for the street party that will immediately follow the parade. This portion of Fat Tuesday will still be ages 21+, she said. DJ Taj and Nikno will share deejay responsibilities and Tootie from Lips and Paris Sukoki Max will emcee the performance stage. “We’ve gotten a really good response on this so far and it’s rounding up to be a great event,” Stauffer said. “There’s going to be trapeze artists,

Continued on next page

news stilt walkers and a lot of other fun things; we’re even working with club owners to try to set up other parties throughout Hillcrest after our event closes down.” Corbin said he’s happy the Foundation and the HBA are able to work together again to produce an event that benefits the scholarship program and neighborhood projects. “Sometimes, people in different organizations have history and they need to take time out from one another before they can come back and resolve their relationship,” he said. “Last year [the HBA] decided they wanted to take some time off but this year they were able to come back and we can work together, and that’s great. They are putting it on and we are going to be a participant in the proceeds, and that’s how it’s going to go.” According to Wikipedia, Mardi Gras, which means Fat Tuesday in French, commemorates the final day of indulgence before fasting begins on Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. It is a culmination of

GAY SAN DIEGO Feb. 21–March 6, 2014

festivities which are celebrated worldwide, but the annual event in New Orleans’ French Quarter has become one of the most popular such celebrations within the U.S. Hillcrest Fat Tuesday will take place on Tuesday, March 4. The parade will kick off at 6 p.m. at the corner of Herbert Street and University Avenue and the 21+ street party between Vermont and 10th streets will start at 7 p.m. More information and pre-sale tickets are available now on the website. —Margie M. Palmer is an award-winning columnist and part-time editorial dominatrix who has been published extensively in both online and print media. This former Jersey Girl has been a San Diego resident since June 2000 and despite getting way too excited when it comes to reporting local news, she does not fist-pump. You can reach her at mmpst19@ —GSD Editor Morgan M. Hurley contributed to this report.t

Images from 2012’s Hillcrest Mardi Gras street party (photos by Cali Griebel)

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GAY SAN DIEGO Feb. 21–March 6, 2014


Pa m P e r e d P l at e s Braised short ribs with local vegetables (Courtesy Nine-ten)

on Prospect Street Dining with


ime and place fell into remarkable alignment for a moment during our dinner at Nine-Ten in La Jolla, where detailed, nouveau dishes synchronize to exceptional white-linen service, but minus the starchy airs that once defined restaurants in this locale. While awaiting dessert I nonchalantly wondered aloud about the time. Beating me in fishing out our cell phones, I assumed my companion was joking when he looked at his screen and responded “nine ten.” Whoa. My phone flashed the same numbers. If this bizarre fluke was the universe confirming we’d come to the right address for an urbane meal laced with intricate flavors, it was a couple hours late in telling us, although magical nonetheless. Located at street level inside the 100-yearold Grande Colonial luxury hotel, Nine-Ten is one of the few restaurants in town that has retained the same chef for at least 10 years. Prior to his arrival, Jason Knibb worked under the tutelage of famed chefs Wolfgang Puck and Roy Yahmagucci. He’s since earned the restaurant copious honors with inventive cuisine that glides across trendy boundaries and changes frequently; with the exception of a few mainstays that include lush sashimi-style yellowtail (or sometimes tuna) dressed in baby shitake mushrooms and scallion vinaigrette. It’s clean, simple and exquisite. Devoted patrons can’t do without his Jamaican-jerk pork belly either. Although on this particular visit the normally unctuous cube of meat lacked its prized layer of


fat. And the Riesling from Mosel, Germany that our waiter paired to the dish exceeded in sweetness the anticipated spiciness on the belly’s crispy exterior. The flavor was nonetheless porky, augmented poetically with micro measures of sweet potato puree, plantains and savory jellies. Another appetizer, “charred broccoli bishop hats pasta,” resembled tortellini and tasted rich at times from shaved egg yolks dusting the dish. Broccoli appeared both inside and outside the house-made pasta pillows as it teamed up with zesty Myer lemon and finely grated Pecorino cheese. Creamy, crunchy, salty and tangy — everything jived. Local organics from Chino Farms took center stage in the “little gems” salad constructed with flash-grilled baby lettuce, mild watermelon radishes and crushed hazelnuts. Somewhere in the scheme were anchovies, invisible to the eye but poking through with their elusive, meaty flavor. The soup du jour was a velvety leek and fennel puree bumped up with citrus relish, vanilla bean and marinated shrimp. No one sip tasted the same, which is exactly what kept me engaged to the very end of it. My companion, on the other hand, abandoned his spoon halfway through, terming the flavors as “all over the place.” He soon returned to nirvana, however, with the arrival of Canadian king salmon, lauded for its dense, oily flesh. The entrée involved two thick squares of the fish, seared beautifully with crispy skins and translucent interiors. Knibb’s knack for pairing proteins to the right organics was spot on. Amid dollops

of herbaceous stinging nettle puree were carrots roasted in lime ash, tender asparagus and a couple of baby artichoke hearts rising like mini towers from artichoke emulsion. Sitting beneath my chin was a garden of turnips, carrots, spring onions, potatoes and daikon radishes complimenting braised beef short ribs, which rested in a puddle of opulent consommé. Mustard seeds swathed in Korean gochujan sauce graced a few corners of the meat, adding a faint red-chili tang to the flavor profile. As I expected from a seasoned chef like Knibb, these weren’t your everyday, straightforward short ribs flooding most winter menus. Our wine pairings this time around rang of solid marriages — semi-citrusy Aliane Chardonnay from France for the salmon and John Anthony Syrah from Napa Valley singing in perfect harmony with the short ribs. We stuck to glass pours, which don’t exceed $15 across the list. Bottle choices cover a wider gamut, with prices ranging between $32 and $500. There’s also a comfy, intimate bar from which signature cocktails and craft beers originate. Service at Nine-Ten is top notch. The crew is friendly and highly attentive without being obtrusive. Case in point: When I accidentally dropped a fork on the floor, our waiter appeared within seconds to pick it up while another followed behind with a fast replacement. In clumsy moments like this, I greatly

Canadian king salmon and veggies in artichoke emulsion (photo by Frank sabatini Jr.)

910 Prospect St. (La Jolla) 858-964-5400

Prices: appetizers and salads, $13 to $16; entrees, $20 to $37; threecourse prix fixe dinner, $55 or $75 with wine pairings appreciated that neither server brought verbal attention to the mishap. Our dinner concluded with confections from locally schooled pastry chef Rachel King, whose coconut cake with lime puree and mouthwatering passion fruit ice cream wowed us more than her “lemon meringue” with olive oil ice cream. The latter featured an artsy presentation of lemon curd piped across the plate and interspersed with pieces of crispy, lemon-infused meringue and caramelized white chocolate. Dessert lovers looking for a weighty sugar fix might find it too abstract. Nine-Ten’s atmosphere is sophisticated and warmly textured, yet never feels stiff despite its prime location at the south end of Prospect Street. The kitchen also serves breakfast and lunch daily, which opens up the morning for that strange coincidence to occur, as you might impulsively check the time while forking into lemon-ricotta pancakes at precisely 9:10 a.m. t

news/communitY voices FRoM PAGe 6


while dictating their own beliefs in Italy’s schools, government institutions and society. As an example, their private schools continue to be financially supported by public funding and so are their private hospitals and services. Even as Pope Francis is trying to brand a new image of transparency, inclusiveness and respect for the poor, the Vatican machine is still moving and often with taxpayer’s money. For those of you that are still wondering, Vatican City is not a religion, it has never been. The Vatican is a historical institution and a political presence in Italy’s backyard with a CEO, a CFO and shareholders that trade for profit. Certainly some progress has been made and mostly because of the international victories that have significantly helped the Italian LGBT movement. However, and despite the growing popular support, the lack of civil rights protections in Italy is becoming an embarrassment for the European Union as well. Meantime in America, many have embraced Pope Francis as a true reformer. The Pope on the bus, the Pope that wears only old shoes, the Pope that writes letters to people and even tweets. Maybe so, but in Italy we have learned to be very skeptical. Italians have experienced the Vatican’s privileged and predominant role that has imposed itself for centuries. Scandal, sexual abuse, mafia, corruption and the arrogance of Vatican’s impunity really have people fed up. The Vatican has pursued the Italian LGBT community with homophobia, ignorance and isolation and targeted those few politicians that are trying to make a difference. I would like to think that this is not about religion but justice, love and respect towards the life of every human being. The pursuit of happiness has inspired many of us in America, and that it should be held true in the rest of the world as well.

athletes, literally. When the German team entered the stadium wearing multi-colored uniforms, NBC co-anchor Meredith Vieira immediately characterized them as “rainbow-colored” but then quickly added that, when the uniforms were unveiled last October, the German team officials made a point of saying they were not a statement in regards to Russia’s anti-gay laws.“So, if you’re thinking that this was a statement about that,” said Vieira, in an unusually strident tone, “it is not.” Vieira said nothing as members of the Greek team, the first to enter the stadium, paraded in wearing white gloves with rainbow colored fingers. Although some activists had predicted gay athletes and their supporters might wear “P6” or rainbow pins during the Olympics, there were ver y few clear signs of anything gay on the televised Olympics. Openly gay snowboarder Cher yl Maas of The Netherlands took a fall on one of her runs and, after she stood the obligator y few minutes in front of a “Sochi 2014” wall to await her score, she walked away holding her gloved right hand in front of the camera. Because Maas is gay and the glove had what appeared to be a unicorn and a rainbow-colored target on it, some interpreted that as a moment of LGBT visibility. Another openly gay athlete (there are only seven among the 2,800-plus athletes competing in Sochi), Austrian ski jumper Daniela Iraschko-Stolz reportedly told reporters, “I don’t think it’s a good idea to make protests here, no one cares. “I know Russia will go and


—Max Disposti is a human rights activist, a community organizer and the founder and executive director of the North County LGBTQ Resource Center. He has also served on Oceanside’s Community Relations Commission for several years and is a real estate broker in his spare time. He can be reached at t


GAY SAN DIEGO Feb. 21–March 6, 2014

make the right steps in the future,” said Iraschko-Stolz about the countr y’s anti-gay laws, according to an Associated Press report, “and we should give them time. I am here as a sportswoman. I always say I’m together with my woman now and don’t have any problems, not in Russia or with the Austrian federation.” One of the more prominent televised moments of visibility came in the form of two commercial advertisements for Chevrolet. One showed a large number of different family configurations, including what appeared to be a two-dad family and a two-mom family. The ad said that, “While what it means to be a family

Some media have suggested Russian President Putin might have been delivering a “message” at Friday’s opening ceremony in his choice of former Olympic skater and current Member of Parliament Irina Rodnina to help light the Olympic torch. While at first glance, Rodnina’s credentials seemed to make her an obvious choice for the task, news media soon picked up on her notoriety. As the UK newspaper, The Guardian, reported last September, Rodnina last fall posted a photo on Twitter that showed President Obama and the First Lady together and, because the president had a big bite of food in his mouth, his face was oddly contorted. Rodnina

hasn’t changed, what a family looks like has.” Then it offered Chevy Traverse, “for whatever shape your family takes.” The company also aired a second commercial showing happy life moments, including a gay male couple at a wedding ceremony. Three sponsors of the IOC also issued statements of opposition to Russia’s anti-gay laws — AT&T, DeVr y University, and the Chobani yogurt maker.

photoshopped a banana onto the photo’s foreground, making it appear the president and First Lady were mesmerized by the prospects of a banana. In reaction to that photo, U.S. Ambassador Michael McFaul last September published a message on Twitter, calling Rodnina’ post “outrageous.” The Guardian story at the time noted that “Racism is rife in Russia, and black football players often face racial abuse involving bananas.”


KimmeL 3. Learn conflict resolution skills. There are ways to talk about hard stuff that work well and ways that will totally piss your wife or husband off. You can escalate an argument or ground it in reality. You and your wife or husband can read a book, go to a workshop for couples, or get some pre-marital therapy to find out ways to talk about difficult emotions without hurting each other. 4. Understand communication styles. If you’re an avoider and your husband or wife is a confronter, learn how to work with each other. Avoiders hope that problems just magically go away (they rarely do) and confronters are often too aggressive in trying to resolve differences. Ironically, avoiders and confronters can each learn a lot from each

other. This is one benefit of opposites attracting: your wife/husband can teach you a lot (if you’re open to hearing it). 5. Clarify financial vagueness. Money becomes a big problem for many couples and it often isn’t talked about until it hits crisis proportions. Before your marriage, talk with your fiancé about how each of you likes to spend money and how you feel about saving, making a budget, using credit cards, acceptable amounts of debt, retirement, buying a home … stuff like that. 6. Clean up junk from the past. We all have junk from past relationships and from our less-thanperfect families. Talking about it with your fiancé is the first step in being willing (and able) to clean it up. For example, I had a couple where one of the guys was raised in a family that spoke loudly and with a lot of emotion. He was used to that. His husband was raised in a family where a raised voice meant big trouble. See how this could lead to unhap-


“It is difficult to see the image as anything but racist,” said a Chicago Tribune article Sunday. Dmitriy Chernyshenko, head of the Russian Olympic committee, said his “panel” chose Rodnina and did so solely because of her Olympic legacy. And it was also difficult to figure out what Putin and Russian organizers were tr ying to say Friday night, if, in fact, Putin was controlling all the messaging at the opening ceremony. A singing group widely identified as a “pseudo-lesbian” band called T.a.T.u. (which reportedly means ‘this girl loves that girl,’ according to the Daily Beast) performed a song called “Not Gonna Get Us” — reportedly about two schoolgirls in love — as the Russian team marched to their seats at the opening ceremony. The two female singers walked onstage hand in hand. And it probably startled many in the speed skating arena when the iconic gay anthem “YMCA” started coming through the public address system Saturday. According to Associated Press, the stadium crowd was “dancing and hopping to the disco hit,” which was among 4,600 songs approved by the Sochi organizers for use during the Games. Meanwhile, off-camera, and covered by some media, was the detention and arrest by police of more than a dozen people in St. Petersburg, 1,200 miles away from Sochi, on Friday for holding up rainbow flags and a banner that said “Discrimination is incompatible with the Olympic Movement.” —Lisa Keen is a well-known, well-respected and award-winning gay journalist who spent 18 years as editor of the Washington Blade. See more news from Keen and other select veteran gay journalists at

piness for these two? 7. Build a support network. It’s not a good idea to have your husband or wife be your “everything.” It sounds romantic, but it’s unwise. No one can be everything to anyone. We need friends to vent to and people in our lives to meet our needs when our wife/husband cannot. Learning these seven skills will greatly improve the odds of your upcoming marriage being as happy as possible (Note: they work well for unmarried couples too). —Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia. Michael is currently accepting new clients. Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit t


MICHAEL SAM COMES OUT Across 1 Soup from the Samurai’s land 5 Elton John Broadway musical 9 Regained consciousness 15 Q ___ queen 16 Circumcision sound 17 Key with all white notes 18 Start of Michael Sam’s 2013 SEC football honor 20 Save from going down at sea, e.g. 21 Becomes involved with 22 Smokers at St. Mary’s 23 Stand next to Georgia O’Keefe 24 Cross-dresser Klinger’s hometown 26 Men on top, perhaps 29 Become familiar with 33 Popular fruit drink 36 They may be blowing in the wind 38 Area of Tennessee? 39 Hacker’s phrase 41 More of the honor 43 Treated a swollen member

44 Stick it to 46 It may be under the tongue 48 Bambi’s aunt 49 Place to hang dildos? 51 Enjoy a hot tub 53 Untimely end 55 Hard to penetrate 59 Cracks up over 62 Education 65 Like a drag queen’s bosom 66 End of the honor 67 Sit on, in a way 68 Gyro bread 69 160 rods 70 Got the bottom line 71 Give the cold shoulder 72 Application for drag queens’ school? Down 1 Kim Novak’s _Picnic_ role 2 “___ little silhouetto of a man ...” 3 Examines carefully

Michael Sam Comes out solution on page 13 4 “Keep your pants on!” 5 The A in GLARP 6 Pt. of B.D. Wong 7 Clod on the golf course 8 Ancestor of homo sapiens’ 9 Go out of control 10 Changed a bill 11 Michael Sam played NCAA football at this school 12 Suffix with prefer 13 Madonna’s Blonde Ambition, e.g. 14 Vein contents 19 David’s _Frasier_ role 22 Proverbial gay hiding places 25 Heeds a master 27 Pos., to neg. 28 Approach for sex 30 How quickly one comes 31 Foreboding sign 32 Lorca’s zip 33 Branch of soc. studies 34 Online intro

35 “See you later” 37 Gay pride marchers close them 40 Michael Sam may be an early selection in this 42 ___ Speedwagon 45 Track support 47 Hombre of the cloth 50 Blown away 52 Nairobi native 54 Like a leprechaun 56 Dorothy, to Em 57 Catch in a trap 58 White-plumed bird 59 Silence for Copland 60 “___ put it another way ...” 61 Words before were 63 Caesar’s last question 64 Moby Dick chaser 66 Army missions



GAY SAN DIEGO Feb. 21–March 6, 2014 adoption

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GAY SAN DIEGO Feb. 21–March 6, 2014

JEFF PRAUGHT that boasts a tremendous young center in Greg Carson, athletic scorer in Sam Marquez and multi-talented forward in Philicia Harris. Bulls & Bears struggled this season, but this is the most veteran roster in the league and is captained by Paul Demke, who has played in more title games than any active player in SD Hoops. Guard Jay Irby, annually one of the league’s leading scorers, has been playing his way back into shape following a serious knee injury. Come playoff time, this team always plays smart, fundamental basketball and does not Greg Carson (middle) of Flicks is one of the beat itself. league's best centers (photo by Joe Covino) The remaining six teams are muddled in the middle. SD Hoops head to playoffs Pecs started the season After 14 weeks of highly comslowly but the mid-season arrival petitive regular season action, SD of multi-sport star Eric Reissner Hoops enters the playoff season, has sparked them. The team is which begins on Wednesday, Feb. gelling at the right time and, in 26. Parity in the league is as high combination with big man Tommy as ever, as six of the eight teams Miles, has the firepower to make a finished just a couple of games postseason run. Hillcrest Brewing apart in the standings. Company will go as far as all-star Wsup Now, behind head coach scorer A.C. Carter takes them, as James Vidovich and MVP-caliber he generally controls the entire ofplayers Jon Dyer and Patrick fense and dares people to stop him. Schoettler, earned the number-one Urban MO’s features the overall seed, but they entered the lightning-quick Devin Timpson at final week of the season with four guard, who is nearly impossible to losses, proving that every team is stop on the fast break. Center Branvulnerable. Furthermore, when don Horrocks commands attention Wsup Now faces the lowest seed in the paint as a formidable big (Flicks) in the playoff opener, it man. If Bryan Robbins’ three-point will be squaring off against a team attempts can find net instead of


landing untouched on the hardwood, MO’s can play with anyone. Baja Betty’s might be the league’s smallest team, as coach Noah Ingram and Ray Valenzuela highlight a run-and-gun attack. Ace Vieyra is a rebounding machine, collecting a ton of second-chance points in the paint. Finally, the Loft can never be underestimated. Led by coach John Crockett — he has coached the league’s last two title teams — this squad boasts perhaps the best defender (Johnny Stultz) and a tough-to-stop scorer in Joe Mattia. The only thing that seems to stop this team is itself, when there are not enough shots to go around for everyone. Playoff games on Feb. 26 will be played at 6, 7, 8 and 9 p.m. at Golden Hill Recreation Center (2600 Golf Course Dr.). Semifinals will be held on March 5, and the consolation and championship games will follow on March 12. After a brief hiatus, the league will again host Open Gym sessions during the spring before the expected rollout of its second annual summer league. For more information on SD Hoops, visit the league website at or email Winter Olympics Anyone else having trouble getting excited about this year’s Winter Olympics? I know some of you out there are boycotting because of Russia’s discriminatory anti-LGBT laws. Despite my feelings about those laws, I would not want to withhold my support of American athletes who are living out their

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personal dreams in a venue they did not choose. Instead, I am having difficulty getting excited about these Olympics because so much of the coverage is tape delayed on the West Coast. As an avid Twitter user who gets the majority of his sports news from social media, I usually know the results of events before they are shown out here in San Diego. I have never been one of those people who can record a sporting event with the hopes of watching it, results unspoiled, at a later time. I have been enjoying the hockey games, but I suspect this is more because of my love of the sport than any sort of Olympic fever. I know NBC has a business to protect, but I want sporting events shown live. I love waking up in the middle of the night to watch World Cup soccer, even if the United States is not involved. ESPN vowed to air Olympic coverage live on its family of channels, but was outbid heavily by NBC. At least the Summer Olympics will be in Brazil in two years — a more favorable viewing schedule for those of us in California. It’s baseball season! Sure, the games do not count yet. Actually, they have not even started. But Spring Training games are right around the corner. I have “pitchers and catchers report” marked on my calendar every year, because I love the start of baseball season. No more talk about contracts, performance-enhancing drugs or Alex Rodriguez. Instead, every team outside of Houston or Miami has new hope.

Buster Olney of ESPN has picked the Padres as one of his two National League Wild Card teams this season and he is not alone in the national media in noting that San Diego could surprise people this year. The team’s payroll will reach an all-time high and the roster is as talented as it has been in years. The Dodgers may have unlimited credit cards at their disposal, but with a payroll of over $220 million, one would think that they would not have the number of question marks that they do. The Rockies are improved, but the stars would have to align perfectly for them to pitch well enough to contend. The Giants and Diamondbacks have made improvements, which could make the NL West the most competitive division in baseball; it may not require 90 victories to win the West. St. Louis and Washington have loaded rosters in the National League, while the usual suspects (Boston, New York, Tampa Bay, Detroit, Texas and Oakland) figure to battle it out in the American League. Whatever happens, I cannot wait until baseball’s Opening Day on American soil, which will take place right here in San Diego on Sunday night, March 30 against the Dodgers. —Jef f Praught is actively involved in the LGBT sports community, where he plays in the local softball (AFCSL), football (SDAFFL) and basketball (SD Hoops) leagues. He has served on AFCSL’s board of of ficers in various capacities and is currently the commissioner of SD Hoops.t

GAY SAN DIEGO 15 Feb. 21–March 6, 2014

Friday, February 21

FRIDA KAHLO LOOKALIKE COnTEST: Dress up like the iconic Mexican artist and win prizes, enjoy her favorite beverage, eat some bocadillos, get your photo taken and see “The Complete Frida Kahlo. Her Paintings. Her Life. Her Story.” Admission is free for registered contestants, others $10. Barracks 3, Liberty Station, 2765 Truxton Rd. 6 – 8 p.m., judging at 7 p.m. Must RSVP at completefrida. com/lookalike. For more info, call 323-935-6000. HARvEy MILK’S FABULOUS FRIDAyS: They are newly remodeled and want you there. Drinks specials and lots of food. 535 University Ave., more info visit LEATHER AnD KInK FASHIOn SHOW: In conjunction with Mr. San Diego Eagle Contest, this men & women of leather event will showcase 15 models, benefits San Diego Leather Foundation and includes a meet and greet with the current titleholders and judges. Ten stores are participating in fashion show. 7 p.m. – 12 a.m. The Sunset Temple, 3911 Kansas St. North Park. For tickets or weekend passes, contact Russ Boyd 619-985-5385.

Saturday, February 22

MARILyn MOnROE MARATHOn: Presented by FilmOut, this is a full day (noon to 11 p.m.) of Marilyn movies on the big screen at the Birch North Park Theatre, 2891 University Ave. $10 per movie or $25 all day. More info MR. SAn DIEgO EAgLE COnTEST: The actual contest is on. 8 p.m. – 12 a.m. The Sunset Temple, 3911 Kansas St. North Park. For tickets or weekend passes, contact Russ Boyd 619985-5385. More info ACTIvE DUTy AT RICH’S: SDPix’s Military Party goes until 4 a.m. and cammo attire is encouraged. No cover before 11 p.m. with military ID and free dog tags while supplies last. DJs Nikno and Taj. Doors open at 10 p.m. and the fun goes until 4 a.m. Rich’s is located at 1051 University Ave. For more info

Sunday, February 23

gOSpEL BRUnCH: Hosted by Tootie, Kiki and more, this is one heck of a brunch for $17.95. 11 – 3:30 p.m. Lips San Diego, located at 3036 El Cajon Blvd. Must RSVP. For more info visit or call 619-295-7900.

QUIET AS A CHURCH MOUSE: After brunch with the girls, work your way over to the award-winning Church and pray with the boys, every Sunday from 3 – 8 p.m. Babycakes, located at 3766 Fifth Ave. There is definitely some preaching going on here. Visit or call 619296-4173.

Monday, February 24

yOgA FOR EvERyOnE: Wanting to try yoga in the new year but afraid to start? Check out this weekly free basic yoga class at The Center. Options available for the more advanced. 10:30 – 11:30 a.m. RUpAUL’S DRAg RACE IS BACK! Every Monday starting tonight, join Chad Michaels' viewing party starting at 9 p.m. on big screens and extended happy hour. Sign up to be a Dueling Diva yourself — two contestants will compete each week at 10:30 p.m. after the show and judged by the audience until the end of the season. Urban MO’s, 308 University Ave. Visit or call 619-491-0400. To become a contestant, visit

Tuesday, February 25

LESBIAn MEET-Up: New weekly early morning business networking meeting, offering a chance to share and support each other’s business or passions. All lesbians in community are invited. 7:30 – 8:30 a.m. Caffe Calabria, 3933 30th St., North Park. pAInTIng AnD vInO: Local professional artists instruct attendees on painting a masterpiece. Tonight – Georgia O’Keefe’s “Morning Glory” at Caffe Bella Italia, 1525 Garnet Ave., Pacific Beach. Event is 6 – 9 p.m. and is 21+up. Cost is $45, all supplies included, but registration is required. For more info, visit SpAgHETTI & SHOWTUnES: When was the last time you had an all-you-can-eat plate of fabulous spaghetti for a mere $6? Now that’s a bargain. 5 p.m. – 2 a.m. Urban MO’s, 308 University Ave. Visit

Wednesday, February 26

pICTIOnARy: Come play with Tiger and Sister Ida Know on the back patio. Match your skills, win fun prizes and raise money for a good causes. 7:30 – 10 p.m. #1 on Fifth Ave., 3845 Fifth Ave. DREAMgIRLS REvUE: Every Wed. join Chad Michaels and the DreamGirls, followed by DJs. 7 – 9:30 p.m. $7. Urban MO’s, 308 University Ave. Visit or call 619-491-0400.

Thursday, February 27

BOyS & gIRLS: A new Diversionary play that is a human comedy about family drama, through March 23. Preview show 8 p.m. Diversionary Theatre 4545 Park Blvd., #101, University Heights. Tickets visit or call 619-220-0097. gSDBA MIxER AT THE OLD gLOBE: GSDBA's February mixer is in conjunction with The Old Globe's presentation of "The Winter's Tale." Jake's on 6th is providing food and beverages for this pre-show event, from 6 - 8 p.m. at Hattox Hall, next to the theatre, located at 1363 Old Globe Way in Balboa Park. Tickets for the mixer are $15 for members, $25 for guests. The Old Globe is offering discounts for that night's production. For retrofit parking detours, visit and click on Traffic Alerts. For tickets to the event, visit

Friday, February 28

FRIDAyS On FIFTH: The HBA’s new recurring Friday happy hour where you can “eat drink and shop” from 4 – 9 p.m. on Fifth Ave. between Brookes Ave. and Washington St. during the “San Diego Social Hour,” with plenty of drink, food and shopping specials from local businesses. For more info, visit LIpS gLAMOUR gIRLS TgIF: Thank God It’s Fabulous and they’ve returned to Fridays. Lots of big hair, high heels and duct tape. Show seating times are at 6:30 & 7:00 p.m., and again at 9:15 & 9:30 p.m. For reservations call 619-2957900 x5. Lips, 3036 El Cajon Blvd. Visit

Saturday, March 1

BOyS & gIRLS: A new Diversionary play that is a human comedy about family drama, through March 23. Opening night 8 p.m. pre- and post-performance parties. Diversionary Theatre 4545 Park Blvd., #101, University Heights. Tickets visit or call 619-2200097.

Sunday, March 2

RED CARpET OSCAR pARTy: Celebrate the excitement and pageantry with the Coronado Island Film Festival at its first annual “Red Carpet Oscar Party” for 88th Academy Awards. Dress casual, classy, or as your favorite star. 14 HDTVs. Prizes, raffles, photo ops. 4 p.m. arrivals. Nicky Rottens 100 Orange Ave., Coronado. $50 gets all that, plus yummy bar food and a champagne toast. All proceeds go to Coronado Island Film Fest. For tickets, visit Bliss Salon at 930 Orange Ave., or

Monday, March 3

Front Runners and Walkers: Meet every Mon & Wed at 6 p.m., Sat at 8 a.m. at southeast corner of Laurel and Sixth avenues in Balboa Park. With close to 200 members in ages ranging from 23 to 72, you won’t be alone. For more info visit or call 619-835-9131.

Tuesday, March 4

HILLCREST FAT TUESDAy: New event merging a street party with vendors and a parade to celebrate Mardi Gras. Parade begins at Herbert and University at 6 p.m., nightclub and street party between

10th Ave. & Vermont St. starts at 7 p.m. Tickets and more info

Wednesday, March 5

gUyS, gAMES & gRUB: This popular night by Men @ The Center offers a space to socialize through a variety of board games and pizza, 6:30 – 9:30 p.m. The Center, 3903 Centre St., Hillcrest. For more info visit thecentersd. org. LADIES LAUgHTER AnD LITERATURE: A book group on each first Wed., from 7 – 9 p.m. Books are selected by popular vote and other activities are also enjoyed. Info email

Thursday, March 6

HIv SUppORT: “Building on a positive life” is a two hour educational support group to empower members by teaching HIV+ men who have sex with men how to cope with life physically, emotionally and mentally. Topics vary each week and guest speakers are frequent. 6 – 8 p.m. at The Center, 3903 Centre St., in Hillcrest. For more information, email Frank Jones, BOyS & gIRLS: A new Diversionary play that is a human comedy about family drama, through March 23. Tonight’s performance includes Backstage Thursdays: Fritz’s Happy Hour with the Director in the lounge before the show. 8 p.m. Diversionary Theatre 4545 Park Blvd., #101, University Heights. For tickets visit or call 619220-0097. —For inclusion in the calendar, email


GAY SAN DIEGO Feb. 21–March 6, 2014

Gay San Diego - February 21 2014  
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